The Gang of Five
The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: Caustizer on August 18, 2009, 06:12:33 PM
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Now that Storm Tide is coming to a close Far Away Home will be my project until Christmas. It is far more then just a sequel... it's actually a completely new and seperate story, albight with some returning characters. Because of the preferences of the readership, it will be written in the standard story style and not by my signature script techniques.
I would like to specially thank Sky for letting me use his characters.
Here I have provided links to his previously drawn pictures of them to provide a good image for readers who enjoy picturing them:
Sky & Guido:
(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/9666/skyguido.jpg)
Star:
(http://img371.imageshack.us/img371/1182/lbtstar.jpg)
Sky, Star, and Glide:
(http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/7783/ffcover.jpg)
Map of the World:
(http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/1797/brettsmap2.jpg)
The Black Dawn:
(http://www.shafe.co.uk/crystal/images/lshafe/Wright_of_Darby_Vesuvius_in_Eruption_1776-80.jpg)
Act I: The Hunt For the Occular
(http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs50/f/2009/291/7/4/Far_Away_Home___Storytelling_by_Hakunaro.jpg)
Act II: The Tyrant King's Wraith
(http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2009/362/6/8/Far_Away_Home___Growing_Up_by_Hakunaro.jpg)
Act III: The Black Dawn
(http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/082/2/8/Comfort_by_Hakunaro.jpg)
Eybron:
(http://f14.img-up.net/Eybroncopy5nso.jpg)
Synopsis:
Littlefoot and the gang of seven go on their greatest adventure yet as they push the boundaries of their world into places far beyond the horizon. It starts when they meet Sky, an ambitious and intelligent adventurer who leads them to seek his "Far Away Home" with only the aid of a tiny piece of volcanic glass he calls "The Occular". On the way they are targeted by a vicious maniac, Eybron, who uses the artistic masterpeices of their lost ancestors as devestating weapons capable of incalculable destruction. In the end, only Littlefoot and the gang can stop him before he turns his sights on the Great Valley and all is lost.
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The Story will progess in four acts, all of which are five to seven chapters long.
Act 1: The Hunt for the Occular
Act 2: The Tyrant King's Wraith
Act 3: The Black Dawn
Act 4: The Eye of the World
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As one last note I would like to state that this is the greatest story I have ever attempted to write and it will be very difficult to finish it if I get no reviews - both positive and negative. Please read it and tell me what you think! If you find that it's not to your liking tell me why and I'll make sure to fix it as I go along. :angel
So without further delay... here is the first chapter of LBT: Far Away Home.
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Act 1: The Hunt for the Occular
Prologue:
The sun was setting over the Great Valley as the children whispered to each other in anticipation. The trees around them were silent as the windless dusk passed in an awe-inspiring spectacle that beckoned in the night. Apart from the red sun the only light was the volcanic hue of the Glowing Cracks which smoked and bubbled making it the perfect place to tell stories, be they scary or rich in wisdom.
Just as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon the individual they had all been waiting for made his entrance with a loud swoop in the sky. They gasped as he looped once in the air and landed perfectly on his feet in front of them.
“Wow Mr. Sky that was pretty incredible!” commented a young longneck named Xavier, who stood to greet his teacher.
“Can you teach me to do that?” called down a flier who had roosted low in the tree above.
“Is that not the responsibility of your father Nincea?” Sky smiled warmly as he furrowed his wings to right some displaced feathers.
“Well… daddy’s afraid of landing on his head,” replied Nincea, which was true. Even after so many years Petrie still hadn’t got used to the keener aspects of flying.
“… So what story are you going to tell us today Mr. Sky?” interrupted Wayne, a small grey threehorn who was clearly Cera’s son.
“Ah so that’s why you are all waiting for me,” bemused Sky. All the children leaned forward to hear his answer and he chuckled. One of the greatest sources of satisfaction he got from teaching was how the young ones always came early to see him while other teachers – namely Grandpa Threehorn – had to round them up before they could begin.
“Well… which one would you like to hear?” Sky looked around slowly and calmly as he gave his answer. All the children then immediately began shouting out which ones they wanted, and he heard “The Amazing Threehorn Girl”, “The Big Water”, “The Storm Tide”, and even “Black Rock” from Landar, one of Guido and Syndra’s sons. When things finally quieted down Xavier spoke up above all the others.
“What about the Black Dawn?” he suggested. Sky was shocked, but on the outside he just raised an eyebrow.
“…Where did you learn about that Xavier?” Sky asked.
“Mother said it when she was cleaning me yesterday… she said I looked dirtier than the Black Dawn” Xavier replied. The other children were intrigued by the idea, and started begging Sky to tell them about it. He motioned with his hands for them to calm down.
“Now children… I’m sure your parents wouldn’t approve of me telling you about such things.” Sky told them as he tried to diffuse the situation.
“Please!” They all called out at once.
“Tell them about what?” A tall longneck emerged from the forest behind where the children had been sitting. Littlefoot was much bigger now then he was as a youngling and the steady bouncing of the loose pebbles on the ground proved that he no longer had little feet.
“Hi daddy… Mr. Sky was going to tell us about the Black Dawn!” proclaimed Xavier excitedly. Littlefoot looked slightly disturbed.
“Was he now?” Littlefoot looked questioningly at Sky, who withdrew slightly.
“As I was saying it’s not a good story for you kids to be told just before you go to sleep for the night…” Sky looked down at the ground, “besides that point… it is best that we just left it untold…”
“Oh I’m sure you can tell them something…” adult Littlefoot smiled, “You are the most interesting friend I know and you should share your adventures,” he glanced at his son Xavier with a knowing smile, “and of course if you don’t tell them they will find out on their own.”
Sky sighed in admission. “Ah, you’re right as usual Littlefoot.” He wags a finger at his large friend as a message of intellectual defeat.
“Now… where to begin…” Sky held his hand to his face in thought, before turning to the young longneck Xavier who was eagerly watching him and waving his tail back and forth.
“What’s that behind your ear?” Sky said to him.
“Huh?” Xavier lowered his neck and scratched both of his ears, but found nothing. Sky stepped forward and reached behind his ear. With a small ring he palmed an object from inside his wing and caught it in his fingers. To the youngsters gathered and even to Littlefoot it looked like he pulled it from thin air.
“Wow that was amazing!” Xavier stated as he looked transfixed at the small pebble-like object that his teacher now carried. “…What is it?”
“This is called an Occular… or rather the Occular” As Sky revealed what he was holding to the group.
The Occular was a small, thin lens made of perfectly clear volcanic glass. It had no borders and apart from the fact it was transparent it didn’t look all that significant. To the group of children though even a weirdly shaped pebble that you could see through was pretty impressive. None of them had ever seen anything like it before.
Littlefoot scoffed. “Oh it’s that thing again… gave us a lot of trouble when we were still kids.”
“Children…” started Sky, ignoring Littlefoot’s comment, “Tonight I will tell you not just about the Dawn, but also of a terrible, terrible place called…” he twisted the lens and brought it to his left eye, which magnified it to look huge. “… The Eye of the World.”
All the gathered young ones were in awe… Mr. Sky always told such good stories.
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Oh my! I like it so far. :D No, I LOVE it. :lol:
So, the gang are adults, yes? That means that Sky is somewhat an adult too? Just asking because I might draw a picture for every chapter you'll write (if I may). ^^
Keep up the good work. I'm really looking forward to this. :D
And again, I feel really honored and excited. =)
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In this story the gang are all still kids... it's just from the frame of being told by Sky when he is older. Occassionally I'll pop back to the future as the story carries forward but for most of it, expect to see Sky and the others as young ones.
There are a few specific pictures that it would be awesome of you to create as the story goes on... but if that is the case I will tell you. Otherwise... Sky is your character so feel free to do any art you wish to do.
At some point I'm going to ask for a picture of the main villain, Eybron, but not until he is in the story first so I get his character down.
I'm glad you like it :)
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I see. Thanks. :)
Well, about the villain, just let me know and I'll try my best. ^^
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You certainly don’t dawdle between fanfics, do you? :p You’re one heck of a fast writer, too. :blink:
I have to say, that’s a very, very, very good way to write a prologue. :yes Anyone reading it is effectively in the same position as the dinosaur kids waiting for Sky to tell his story, which almost serves to . (That’s how I felt when I was reading it, anyway. *shrugs*)
I don’t want to be annoying, so I’ll try to keep my nitpicking to a minimum on this story, but I thought you might want to reword the following line a bit:
“This is called an Occular… or rather the Occular” As Sky revealed what he was holding to the group.
Sky appears to be attempting to convey the fact that The Occular is a unique object. For that reason, I would recommend emphasizing the “the” more.
Also, this is just a random thought, but if you’re looking for more reviewers, maybe you could wait a little longer between posting chapters, to give people more time to notice the updates. For instance, it might be a good idea to wait a week or so (oh, what am I saying? :rolleyes:) before you post Part I, to ensure that other members have ample time to notice this thread and share their thoughts.
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Also, this is just a random thought, but if you’re looking for more reviewers, maybe you could wait a little longer between posting chapters, to give people more time to notice the updates. For instance, it might be a good idea to wait a week or so (oh, what am I saying? :rolleyes:) before you post Part I, to ensure that other members have ample time to notice this thread and share their thoughts.
That's a good idea.
Caustizer.
EDIT: "the Occular" was written as "the Occular" in Microsoft Word but it didn't pick up on the notation when I copied and pasted onto the website.
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I really like the prologue to this fanfic :yes. I think having most of the fanfic set when the Gang are still kids, with intermittent future scenes, will be a very interesting read.
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Part I:
The wind blew like a soft summer breeze as a younger Sky panned the distant horizon with his eyes. By nature’s standards his sight was far better then most, but the object he held over his left eye guaranteed there was little that would escape his vision. Intently, as if searching, Sky tilted the Occular to get a better look at a nearby rock formation. Finding nothing of note, he rotated to view another distant feature of the landscape. The rocky desert he had come to call the Desolates was about as monotonous as watching a river dry out.
“Are you still looking at that weird pebble? I would think you had seen enough of it by now…” called down the male longneck, who had generously allowed Sky to ride on his back.
Sky sighed and put the lens back into his wing. The two things he hated most in the world are racism and ignorance… and this herd of longnecks certainly had an ample supply of both.
“Not to be rude… but how would you like to end up like him a lot sooner than you’re supposed to?” Sky pointed to a wretched pile of bones that the herd was walking around.
“Is that a threat?” shot the longneck, who ground his teeth.
“Oh no… I’m just telling you what’s going to happen if I lead you all in the wrong direction because you keep pestering me with your stupid questions!” Sky shot back, a little bit meaner then he intended to. He would have to work on making his point in a nicer manner.
“Hey quit pestering the guide!” insisted a middle aged female longneck.
“Yeah… I don’t want us to be out here any longer then we have to, it’s so hot I think my skin is boiling,” replied another male, before adding, “The sooner we get to the Great Valley the better.” The offending longneck simply grumbled and let Sky get back to his duties.
Longnecks, Sky had found, were a very unaccepting lot. Their size seemed to give them great intelligence, but only a limited few possessed any form of wisdom. The leader of this particular herd was one such case and had noticed Sky when he taught one of their young ones, Ali, how to recognize where they were by the position of the great circle in the sky. Ali had taken a liking to him immediately and even the headstrong longneck who she hung out with, Rhett, often asked him for pointers on how to deal with sharpteeth if they met any. Sky admired his courage, but chided his ignorance. Sharpteeth were best avoided at all times – especially by young children.
“Hey Sky…Sky!” called the young longneck Ali as she came up beside the one he was perched on, “I don’t want to be annoying or anything… but are we there yet?” Sky chuckled at the comment.
“Oh I’m sure we are a lot closer than you think…” Sky replied.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” the male longneck had turned around again to take another shot at him… it must be his method of expressing his displeasure at being ëvolunteered’ for the duty of carrying the guide.
Rather then argue with him, Sky simply gave a sly smile and pointed into the distance. Ali, the male longneck and even the surrounding longnecks who had been impolitely listening in all looked to the horizon where he had motioned. A female to their left spotted it first.
“Hey… it’s Saurus Rock!” she exclaimed.
“We’re here, we’re here!” repeated another young female at the other side of the herd.
At once the whole herd turned to the famous landmark and proceeded towards it, invigorated by the prospect of green food and fresh, clean water. Later as they passed the enormous bulk of Saurus Rock and looked out over the Great Valley, the elder longneck that led the herd and had asked Sky to guide for them came over to express his thanks.
“You have our sincerest gratitude, Sky. We could not have made it this quickly, or indeed made it at all without you.” The elder spoke to him respectfully, before turning and nodding his appreciation to the grumpy longneck that carried him. The unwanting carrier’s mood seemed to lighten.
“I guess you’re not so bad after all…” the longneck muttered to Sky.
Sky just beamed his satisfaction to both longnecks. He hadn’t told them that he had seen Saurus Rock a few days earlier using the Occular. Sometimes it was nice to keep secrets.
“Now can you please get off my back?” the longneck demanded.
Sky frowned… he had actually enjoyed the ride.
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The herd of longnecks paraded into the valley and dispersed among the trees, eager to get their first meal in days. Unlike the others, Ali wasn’t hungry. She only half ate the tree-stars as her mom pulled them off the tree, and her mother could see that something was wrong. Her little Ali had something resting on her mind from their previous visit to the valley.
“Mom… you mind if I go off on my own for a while?” asked Ali timidly, “There is someone I have to see.” As she finished her mother stopped munching and brought her giant head down to eye level with her daughter.
“What is it Ali?” her mother asked. Ali turned away to hide her emotions. Seeing this, her mother decided to respect her right to privacy. “Make sure to be back before the Great Circle sets dear.”
“I will!” replied Ali excitedly as she ran off to find Littlefoot.
…
As the morning circle was approaching high noon Petrie flew around the Great Valley, searching out one of his friends. Today was a somewhat dull day as Cera was assigned by Tria to watch Tricia, Ducky and Spike were spending the morning with their siblings, and Ruby and Chomper had run off doing who knows what. Littlefoot was eating with his grandparents, and Petrie had found out how long longnecks actually take to eat the hard way. After waiting for well over an hour, he decided to go see what his best friend Guido was doing. He finally found him rummaging around an old log in the north end of the valley for his favourite food – creepy crawlies. Oddly he wasn’t eating them… instead he was gathering them in his other hand while he picked them off with his mouth.
“Guido, I find you!” Petrie exclaimed as he perched himself on the log to observe his friend.
“Yeah… it’s not too hard to find me these days is it?” Guido said half-heartedly as he briefly looked up from his work.
“What the matter?” replied Petrie.
“Lots of things…” mumbled Guido as he pulled a worm out of a rotten hole in the log, “but mostly it’s caused by–”
“Guido! What’s taking you so long?” called down a voice from the tree above. It was Guido’s mate, Syndra. The two of them had settled down together once the storm tide became less of a threat to the valley following the unexpected hurricane a few months ago. Hearing her call, Guido griped Petrie’s shoulders dropping all the bugs he had been carrying.
“You gotta help me… this is unbearable!” Guido begged. Petrie just looked at him in a confused manner, like he had no idea what he was talking about. Embarrassed at jumping so suddenly Guido sighed and let go, and turned back to picking up the bugs he had released.
“Everyday it’s something different with her… it’s either ëgo get food’ or ëit’s too hot bring me some leaves for shade’ or ëget some grass for the nest’. I just can’t take it anymore!” Guido paused his rant for a moment to make sure Syndra hadn’t heard, then continued, “Since she laid those eggs I haven’t had a moment to just do what I wanna do.”
“Guido get up here!” Syndra bursts out from the leaves and lands on a branch. Guido promptly hides behind Petrie.
“Oh hi Mrs. Treewing we are going to the lake to… umm…. Get a drink!” Petrie smiled politely as he gulped nervously.
“Treewing?” inquired Guido by whisper while Syndra just rolled her eyes in annoyance.
“Fine… just make it quick. If these eggs hatch and your not here Guido I’ll rip your head off.” Syndra threatened as he cowered behind Petrie. It was an empty threat, but Syndra could make life pretty difficult for him if he didn’t do what he was told. Satisfied, she flew back into the tree to tend her nest. The two fliers departed after she left without a word.
…
Guido was finally able to relax as the cool wind blew off the lake and into his dirty feathers. He hadn’t had time to clean them with all the running around he had been doing… but it was still nice to get out with his friends once in a while. Petrie respected him the most out of everyone in the valley so naturally they hung out together when they could. They had found a nice tree without any leaves on an island close to shore in the Great Valley’s one big lake, and perched there to rest. Next to Guido, Petrie was also enjoying the breeze.
“Hey thanks Petrie, I needed this.” Guido casually said as he set about cleaning his wings with his beak.
“Oh, it nothing.” Petrie replied. He was just glad to have Guido’s company… ever since the storm tide he had felt somewhat distant from the rest of his friends. They had left on an adventure without telling him, so with no one else around naturally him and Guido did a lot more things together even though the treewing (as Petrie called them) was much older then he was. Out of the corner of his eye Petrie noticed an odd flier land in a tree across the lake. His motions were fluid and purposeful and he was one of the largest of his kind he had ever seen.
“Who that?” asked Petrie. Guido stopped licking his wings and squinted to look at what Petrie had seen. He blocked out the sun by putting his hand over his eyes.
“…what is that?” Guido corrected.
“Maybe we go see?” Petrie suggested as he spread out his wings and took off. Hesitating slightly, Guido followed.
…
Sky couldn’t help but take in the beauty of their current rest stop. “The Great Valley” was what the locals called it – a fitting name, but Sky had seen far greater. Coming to a landing in a tree near the edge of a lake, Sky decided to observe the habits of the native fish species. His kind could eat almost any type of food, but fish was his personal favourite and he was hungry. It was handy that the Occular could filter out the surface glare on the lake so he could see them moving around underwater. Whoever made it must have been a genius.
Sky put the Occular away in his wing and went through a set stretches so he would be in order to go fishing. About halfway through he noticed two fliers approaching him from across the water. Curiously, they landed on the branch across from him in the same tree.
“You know it’s not polite to stare,” chided Sky as he waved his finger in a friendly manner as they intently watched his every movement.
“Oh sorry,” laughed Guido, “it’s just that we have never seen anyone like you before.”
“Not many have,” replied Sky.
“But what are you?” Petrie asked politely. At this Sky suddenly bolted off the tree and into the air.
“Hey wait!” Petrie called after the stranger.
Sky twisted and twirled through the air and suddenly descended towards the water. At the last moment he pulled up and skirted the surface, ensnaring an unfortunate fish in his jaws. All the while Petrie and Guido watched this aerobic display with awe and wonder. When Sky finally landed again it was in a meadow just to the south of the lake. There was a herd of clubtails making their way through it and a longneck who was eating a particularly pleasing bush, but none of them noticed. Satisfied he was alone, Sky picked up the fish he had caught and shook it slightly to make sure it was dead. One last time he glanced about to see if anyone could see him, and then he opened his mouth to swallow it.
“Wow your fast… I couldn’t keep up!” wheezed Guido as he came to a rough landing a metre away. Sky was in the middle of eating, and gagged as he spat it out the whole fish.
“Are you okay?” asked Guido, only to have a venomous glare shot at him by Sky.
“Could you just leave me to my own… please?” Sky returned. He was annoyed that this persistent local kept following him, not to mention spoiling his lunch. Never before had he encountered someone so impolite in his life.
“Sorry…” apologized Guido. Something suddenly occurred to Sky, so he had to mention it.
“You are a four-wing yes? What is one of your kind doing so far below the Black Mountain?” Sky eyed his fish on the ground, which had started hopping slightly. He was hungry.
“I’m a four-wing?” returned Guido, “… is that what I am?”
“Of course,” Sky lifted his wing to show him, “three rows of feathers on each side with the fourth on the back end.” He swirled his tail to reveal a diamond-like formation on the end. Guido looked back at his tail, which looked more like a flower. While he did this Sky picked up his fish and opened his mouth again to swallow it.
“So then what are you?” inquired Guido. Sky lowered the fish and was hit by another edge of annoyance. He decided to respond first before eating.
“Knowledge is a gift that is earned through experience,” imparted Sky. He was just trying to blow off Guido so he could eat. Not waiting for the four-wing’s response Sky stuck the fish in his mouth and clamped down on it. He pulled with his hand and stripped the soft meat off, leaving him with just a fish skeleton. Guido just looked at him in confusion.
“I’ll tell you what… why don’t we play a little game.” Sky smiled cleverly. “I will tell you the colour of an object I see and if you can guess what it is in three guesses… I’ll tell you what I am.”
“Okay,” Guido said nervously, he didn’t like the way this was going.
“And if you’re wrong, you have to leave me alone.” Sky was certain the small flier wouldn’t guess right.
“I spy with my eye something that is red,” stated Sky. Guido looked around, and put his hand to his chin in thought. Sky smiled and did the same to pretend he was thinking too.
(On a side note the art is a picture of the two of them here)
“Is it those berries over there in that tree?” suggested Guido. Sky’s eyes widened slightly… that tree was so far away he could barely see them himself… without the Occular of course. Guido must have good eyesight.
“Very well,” sighed Sky, “in my far away home my kind are known as creators.” Guido raised an eyebrow at the name, but Sky didn’t proceed to explain it. He would like to keep some mystery about him, not to mention that he had told way too much already. There were some in the world that would very much like to know that he was a creator… so he preferred not to reveal it.
As Sky talked with Guido out of the bushes came Ali and another longneck she was with. He knew it couldn’t be Rhett as this one had an expression of nobility and kindness as opposed to ignorance. Sparing him from explaining himself Ali and her friend dashed across the fields to greet him.
“Hi Sky… this is Littlefoot, my friend from a long time ago!” Ali told him excitedly, “we get to see each other every time the herd comes back to the Great Valley.”
“Nice to meet you Sky,” Littlefoot said as he passed a greeting to him.
“A pleasure it is.” Sky replied with a slight bow of his head.
Suddenly there was an odd ringing sound in Sky’s ears. He cleared them with his finger but it was still there. Worse, it just kept getting louder and louder. The others heard it too and even Guido was covering his ears.
“Ugh…what’s that?” Asked Littlefoot as he grinded his teeth and covered his ears. Ali did the same.
“I don’t–” started Sky, but then he found out what it was. He withdrew the Occular from his wing and held it up. It was vibrating ever more vigorously every second.
“What’s going on Sky?” Ali said in fright. All of a sudden the ringing stopped, and the two longnecks with Guido sighed with relief. Meanwhile Sky’s mind was racing… the Occular was perfection but it was still a normal piece of glass. If it was vibrating then there was a sound of outstanding frequency in the air, and the frequency was rising by the second. Doing some quick calculations Sky reasoned that if the sound was low enough to vibrate glass… then next below that level would be to vibrate rock.
The ground began to shake in a manner none of the Great Valley dinosaurs had ever felt before. It crunched and buckled as trees came crashing down and the valley floor rumbled. Like the end of time had come upon them there was absolute chaos everywhere in the valley beyond a normal earth shake. A thunderous wave of sound cascaded through the ground and cracked the ground beneath it as if it had turned to ice. It came from the Mysterious Beyond and as Sky watched Saurus rock was split asunder and came crashing down in the distance. The same wave of force in the earth came barrelling towards them splitting rivers, lakes, trees, and even tossing dinosaurs off their feet with its mighty energy.
Littlefoot and Ali saw the wave of force in the earth coming towards them and their eyes filled with fright at such a sight. In a panic Ali turned to the most senior of them all, Sky.
“Sky…what do we do!?!” she shouted. Sky watched the wave move towards them at the speed of sound with a mix of recognition and wonder. There were some things you would never see twice. He turned to the longnecks.
“Run.” He whispered. They needed no further urging.
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All Parts will be posted on a weekend basis - so I'll work on them during the week and then post them on a Saturday or Sunday.
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Every weekends? Heh, the excitement never stops. :D
Ah, the first encounter with the gang. I really enjoy reading it so far. :yes
I was waiting for the part where he tells them what kind of species he was.
So Sky is a "creator", yes? Though, I call them myself "Wingtail" (I think I never told you :huh:) but I'm guessing the name "creator" has a major role in this story, so it's ok. =)
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"Creator" is not his species... it is just a nickname that the other dinosaurs gave their kind because of their ability to create magnificant works of art that endured for many generations. Guido asked "What are you" not "What kind of flier are you" ... one of many examples of Sky playing on words to his own benefit.
The biggest of the Creators' works include the Sonicron and the Eye of the World which both play a significant role in the plot.
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Ah, I see. I should better wait for the next parts then. Sometimes it confuses me... :confused :p
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I didn’t enjoy this chapter as much as I did the prologue, so forgive me if my critique of it is not particularly favorable.
At this point, Sky doesn’t seem like someone I would get along with particularly well if I were to meet him. If he considers Guido more impolite than the longneck he was riding on before, then I would probably annoy him just as much, if not more, given my similarities to Guido in terms of social skills. :p Hopefully I’ll find Sky more likeable as the story progresses.
I’m a little concerned for Petrie as well. I hope he gets back together with his friends and forgives them for leaving the valley without him.
Speaking of Petrie... (*Nitpick Alert!*)
“Oh hi Mrs. Treewing we are going to the lake to… umm…. Get a drink!” Petrie smiled politely as he gulped nervously.
Is his grammar improving, or was that an accidental breach of character?
Oh, and I love the name Petrie uses for Guido and Syndra’s species. :smile Treewing. Very clever. :lol
That reminds me...just out of curiosity, did you decide to use “four-wing” as Guido’s species name based on the suggestion I made in one of my RoST reviews, or did you come up with it independently? (I based my suggestion off the fact that the feathers on Microraptor gui’s legs allowed them to be used as a second pair of “wings”, but your explanation is interesting too.)
A thunderous wave of sound cascaded through the ground and cracked the ground beneath it as if it had turned to ice. It came from the Mysterious Beyond and as Sky watched Saurus rock was split asunder and came crashing down in the distance.
Oh no...you smashed Saurus Rock? :( I’ll bet Littlefoot will be pretty upset about that. :p
From the looks of things, the gang’s going to be bigger than ever in this story. You’ve got the original five, plus Ruby, Chomper, Ali, and Guido, with the addition of Sky and (presumably) Syndra. I’m interested to see how you’re going to handle such an extensive cast. :p
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My main goal with Sky is to keep him somewhat mysterious... he's done a lot of things and seen a lot of places but he also keeps to himself. Sky won't say too much about himself until he gets more comfortable with the gang as his friends.
On a side note, the reason why Guido annoys him so much is not his social skills but the fact that he keeps interrupting him while he's trying to eat. At this point Sky, like the longnecks, hasn't eaten for days.
If I hadn't eaten for days I certainly wouldn't be too likeable either :lol
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I was somewhat vague in comparing myself to Guido there :oops; I meant to say that, like him, I have a tendency to ask a lot of questions (I too would be extremely curious as to what kind of dinosaur Sky was) and don't always notice when I am being intrusive, or overstepping someone else's personal boundaries. :rolleyes
If I were in Sky's place, I wouldn't let myself be distracted from eating. I would just stuff my face and ignore whoever was talking to me until I had sated myself. :p
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Part II:
“What happened next… were you guys okay?” asked Xavier eagerly. The young longneck had been listening on Mr. Sky’s every word, just like all the other children present.
“No they all died horrible deaths,” blurted Landar, who looked slightly bored and was pulling at the bark of a nearby tree to get the insects out. He must have inherited his sarcasm from his mother.
“Well it was a bad earthshake… they could have gotten hurt!” replied Xavier, before turning to Sky and asking, “…did they?”
“Of course we didn’t, but it certainly wasn’t a normal earthshake,” reassured Sky, “and it had been caused by–”
“Hold on!” called a voice from the shadows, “You can’t tell the whole story without the whole story to tell.”
Sky, Littlefoot, and all the children looked to see who it was, and from out of the dark bushes came an older and more mature Ruby. She had lost the innocence and timidness of her childhood, but her adult features revealed that just like her father she was a natural born survivor. Despite this there was an aura of tragedy about her – a lingering guilt for events in the past. Like Sky and Littlefoot she had witnessed the Black Dawn and it had eternally scared her. Such a sight does not easily die in memory. Another desire also lingered within her – she wanted to have children of her own. Because there were no suitable mates in the valley for her she simply lived on without one, and put her effort into raising the young ones that belonged to others. Having spent so much of his life alone, Sky could relate.
“If I may?” interjected Ruby as she entered the story telling area. Sky understood what she wanted.
“Of course.”
Sky moved out of the way to made room for her. She took position over the glowing cracks so the fiery light would cast shadow over parts of her face. It was good for one of her signature scary stories, but today she wanted to tell something more real in her memory.
“The day of the earthshake,” Ruby began, “me and Chomper were in the woods…”
…
“Keep down,” a younger Ruby whispered as she pushed Chomper’s head below the bushes. It was important that they remain hidden for what was coming next.
“Crunch low, arms spread out. Feel the earth beneath your feet.” Ruby wiggled her toes in emphasis.
“Got it,” Chomper replied as he felt his predatorial instincts kicking in. In front of him just next to the river sat his prey, ripe for the taking.
“Let your hunger guide you… you are the sharptooth.”
“I am the sharptooth.”
“Breathe in slow… and let it out.”
Chomper obeyed and his nostrils flared briefly. Ruby licked her finger and put it up, to check the wind. It was important that it was blowing towards them so they could not be sensed.
“Now,” whispered Ruby as she crouched down low, “GO!”
Chomper bolted through the low hanging plants, pushing them aside as he ran as fast as he could towards his target. A burst of wind covered his sound of motion through the bushes so he could not be heard. At the final moment he leaped up and landed on Cera’s back.
“Gotcha!”
Caught completely by surprise Cera cried out in fear and rolled over to get him off. As quick as this began Chomper hopped off to avoid his friend’s wraith. She rolled over again onto her feet, and faced him with eyes full of shock and anger.
“What was that for?” Cera yelled as she caught her breath.
“I was just practising,” Chomper shrugged, “Ruby was teaching me how to hunt!”
“I’m proud of you Chomper,” Ruby laughed as she slid out of the forest purposefully, “Someday you will be a better sharptooth then you are right now.” Chomper smiled at the compliment.
“Do you see what you’re doing?” accused Cera as she lunged forward and butted Ruby back with her horn, “You’re teaching him to eat us!”
“I won’t eat my friends!” returned Chomper as Ruby attempted to regain her balance. It was a good thing she had such good self control otherwise she might have fought back.
“And besides… the alternative to not eating is, well… not eating!” added Ruby as she shrugged.
“I guess your right,” Cera grumbled, “as long as he doesn’t use it on us.”
“Uh oh,” stated Chomper as he felt vibrations with his feet.
“What is it now?” moaned Cera.
“It’s a… earthshake!” yelled Chomper as the ground began to vigorously quake. The three children screamed as the trees around them rocked and threatened to come crashing down. They slumped to the ground and covered their heads to wait for it to pass. Finally, it did.
“Has it stopped?” asked Chomper as he timidly raised one of his hands and looked around. He was answered by an earth shattering wave of seismic force that tore through the ground and caused nearby trees to collapse, narrowly missing them. Sensing the danger Ruby dove on top of Chomper to protect him – with her own body if need be. Luckily, the unnatural earthshake came to an end almost as suddenly as it had begun. They were safe.
“I think it’s over…” commented Cera as she rose from the ground and gazed with wonder at the destruction around her. The entire landscape had changed, and the Great Valley was nothing short of a mess. Over half the trees around them now rested on the ground, some being snapped in half by the sheer might of the event.
“Oww,” Chomper complained as he rubbed his jaw, “I think I lost another tooth.”
Chomper gagged and sure enough he spat out another tooth. It was a good thing that Ruby had told him that it was perfectly normal for young sharpteeth to loose their teeth, otherwise he might have had another panic attack.
“We had best find the others to see if they are okay,” Ruby suggested as she too absorbed the full scope of what had happened to the valley. She looked worried, and both Chomper and Cera agreed with her. Soon they were off to look for their friends.
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“What was that?” asked Littlefoot as he got up off the ground. Ali was right next to him, and she looked just as disoriented as he was. As the world slid into focus he noticed that Sky was already on his feet and was scanning the area with his eyes through the Occular, apparently surveying the damage.
“According to my observations it was a very big earthshake,” Sky chuckled as he replaced his all important eyeglass within his wing, “we were lucky to be so far out in the open.” His point was made all the more obvious when a nearby tree cracked and fell to the ground with an earth breaking thud. The group of them couldn’t help but flinch as they heard the sound.
“Oh, my head feels like I got a rock in it,” announced Guido as he rose to his feet. After a quick dust off he added, “Hey where’s Petrie?”
“I down here!” Petrie called out faintly from the tree that had just fallen, “and I think me stuck in here!”
Sensing his friend’s danger Littlefoot jumped into action and peered into the tree where Petrie was. He sure was stuck in there tight – the thicketed branches had pinned both his wings tight.
“Hang on I’ll get you out!” Littlefoot proclaimed as Ali joined him at the tree.
“What should we do Littlefoot?” she asked desperately.
“Hmm…” muttered Littlefoot as he thought about the problem, “I know! We can eat him out.”
Both Littlefoot and Ali started pulling at the leaves and munching on them as they came loose. This went on for about a minute before Sky finally lost patience. The young longneck had a right idea, but perhaps he needed a little bit of help to get things done faster.
“May I suggest a better solution?” asked Sky politely. The two longnecks stopped eating and turned to glance at him.
“Sure,” replied Littlefoot after swallowing a mouthful of tree stars. Taking his lead, Sky did a quick assessment of the situation.
“I can likely reach in and grab your friend, but you will need to pull me out.”
Sky parted the branches and carefully observed where Petrie was positioned. The small flyer looked kind of frightened at his current predicament, and unfortunately didn’t know who his rescuer was. This could be difficult. Willing to take the risk, Sky deftly pushed himself into the tangled foliage and was eventually within reach of Petrie.
“Grab a hold of my wing if you want to live,” stated Sky, and he laughed slightly at the dramatic nature of his comment. His amusement faded as he attempted to move his wing, only to find that it was caught in the branches too. He jerked it several times, but the only reward he got was a coarse pain up and down his wing muscles. Frustrated, Sky snapped at the tree branches with his jaws.
“No… me too young to be eaten!” cried Petrie in fright. Sky just rolled his eyes and pushes his long neck forward as far as he could until finally his nose was within reach of the stranded flyer.
“Just grab me then,” impressed Sky. Petrie didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled against the leaves that pinned him as hard as he could and latched his fingers around the small fork on the top of Sky’s nose. Sky called back to the two longnecks.
“Littlefoot, Ali… now would be an excellent time to pull me out.”
Littlefoot was scrambling about with Ali to fit into Sky’s new plan, and looked the situation over to see what they could grab onto. The only thing they could get a grip on was Sky’s tail, which was swaying slightly as the diamond shaped tip stuck out of the outside of the tree. Both Littlefoot and Ali glanced at each other and knew what needed to be done. Sky wasn’t going to like it.
“Sorry Sky.” Littlefoot apologized. Sky raised an eyebrow at the comment.
“Sorry for wha – YEOWW!”
Sky cried out in pain as both longnecks clamped their jaws on his tail and pulled. He jerked and wacked his head on the branch above him, and Petrie’s feet slid into his nostrils. Clearly this wasn’t Sky’s day.
“Come on Littlefoot, pull!” cried Ali through her teeth. With one finally reef they dislodged Sky and Petrie, and the two of them came speeding out of the bush and on top of the two longnecks. In a moment all four of them were on their backs in the grass.
“Me thank you.” Said Petrie as Sky opened his eyes to find the flyer still on his face. He quickly exhaled and Petrie fluttered away and landed nearby.
“Yeah thanks Sky,” commented Littlefoot, “We couldn’t have done that without you.”
“You’re most welcome Littlefoot… but I think this goes down as an experience I would not like to repeat,” Sky bemused as he picked out the leaves from his feathers. In the process, he suddenly noticed that his left wing was a lot lighter then it should be. The Occular was missing! He whirled around to face Littlefoot.
“My eyeglass… have you seen it?”
“No…sorry,” answered Littlefoot truthfully, albight looking confused about what the strange flyer was talking about. Undaunted, Sky began to crawl on the ground to feel for it amongst the grass.
“He’s talking about the clear rock he uses to see distant things,” explained Ali, “It’s very important!”
Littlefoot took a step back to make some room, and there was a sickening crunch as he stepped on something fragile. He shut his eyes tightly in guilt, knowing full well what he had just done. After a moment he looked back, and saw that it was just a pinecone. Unnoticed to the others the longneck breathed a sigh of relief.
“Aha! Got there you are.” Sky proclaimed as he picked the small lens out of the tree where he had entered a minute or so before. He breathed on it and polished it with his wing, before slipping it back to where it belonged.
“I’m sure you all wondering about me, as I have yet to properly introduce myself,” Sky said, making sure they could all hear him, “You may call me Sky, and I am a wingtail. My far away home is a place called the Feral Forest.”
“Hey…didn’t you tell me you were a creator?” pushed Guido.
“That I did… but I wasn’t talking about my species,” replied Sky as he pointed to himself. “The creators are more so a grouping than a kind.”
“So that means you make things, right?” asked Littlefoot, “what do you make?”
“You certainly are sharp,” commented Sky as he laughed, “Alright… the creators are a group who seeks to learn, discover, and above all else – create.”
Littlefoot, Ali, Petrie, and Guido couldn’t gather exactly what he was talking about. Why would they ever want to create more when they had everything they needed in the Great Valley? The rest of the conversation was spared when the large longneck who had been feeding on the other side of the meadow came to address them.
“Are you kids alright?” He asked. Littlefoot nodded for the group. “Good… come with me to the gathering place and we’ll see how the valley fared.”
“Sorry, I kind of have a prior commitment to umm,” Guido sighed, “…my lovely.” He left as the other children turned to follow the longneck, feeling that it was the right thing to do. Sky decided to tag along too… it could be interesting to see how this valley handles a crisis.
…
On the way to the gathering the full extent of the damage to the Great Valley became evident. Watering holes had dried up through cracks in the earth, rock faces had collapsed into massive heaps, and whole groups of trees had come crashing down upon the unsuspecting dinosaurs. Sky began to note these things out loud, and Littlefoot took an interest in what he said. Before long it turned into a conversation. First it was about the trees and how they grew, and then about the earth, followed by water as they reached their destination.
“Where does the water go when it dries up?” asked Littlefoot.
“One of two places,” replied Sky, “it either goes up in the sky or back down into the ground.” He soared past Littlefoot and did a loop in the air, landing perfectly on his feet. It was a trick he had been practising.
“So if it goes up into sky… does that mean it makes the sky puffies?” Sky eyed Littlefoot curiously, before giving an impressed smile and crossing his arms.
“You are a very gifted young longneck Littlefoot,” Sky exclaimed, “I would very much like to meet your parents.”
“They’re… not really around,” Littlefoot said as he looked down at the ground. Sky could see it was a sensitive subject. He did not speak more of it and they reached the meeting place as the early afternoon began to kick in.
The entire Great Valley was assembled there, at least what was left of it. The meeting place was known for it’s coliseum like appearance and the archway that opened into it, but today it was in terrible shape thanks to the earthshake. Long ago Pterano had been exiled here, and just prior to the Storm Tide it was here the parents imposed their curfew upon the children. Once everyone had gathered, Grandpa Longneck spoke out above everyone else.
“Welcome everyone,” Grandpa Longneck said, “I’m sure you all have seen and felt that we now have a crisis on our hands.”
“Just look at the state of our beloved valley!” cried Ducky’s mother, “this is the worst earthshake we have ever had!”
All her children were with her including Ducky and Spike. Littlefoot also noticed Cera, Ruby and Chomper on the other side of the circle – the entire gang was here. Ali’s herd had filled the entrance to the circle just in front of the ruined archway because there was normally not enough room for them. To her credit, Ali chose to stand with him and Grandma rather then with her herd. She must be more comfortable with his family now.
“My nest was ruined,” moaned Tria. Many others in the valley had similar complaints, and some had even lost loved ones.
“It’s probably because of all these longnecks,” shot Topsy as he motioned towards the far-walkers, “the valley simply isn’t big enough to hold them all.” He got some dirty looks from Ali’s herd.
“No it wasn’t… it came from the mysterious beyond,” Asserted Littlefoot.
“Yeah,” added Ali, “right after Sky’s rock started ringing the ground just started shaking.” Ali realized she might have said too much when over a hundred eyes simultaneously turned to Sky, who was busy counting the varieties of species present and not paying attention to what was being said. He recoiled in shock.
“You… you’re a newcomer to this valley and nothing like this has ever happened before you got here,” accused Topsy, “explain yourself!”
“Mr. Threehorn be reasonable, earth shakes occur all the time without rhyme or reason. Its part of the Great Circle – not something that can be controlled by any one of us,” corrected Grandpa Longneck.
“Precisely,” stated Sky, “A mere sound cannot cause an entire earthshake… the rocks do it on their own.”
Sky didn’t know how wrong he was. At the moment he said the words the Occular began to vibrate underneath his wing. He pulled the wing closer to his chest to try and conceal the sound, but he failed. It kept getting louder and louder until everyone had to cover their ears to block it out. Then suddenly, as fast as it began it stopped and once more everyone turned their gaze to Sky.
“I don’t understand…” The wingtail was harshly interrupted by the earth as it shook and quaked from side to side. Many of the young children screamed, figuring the monster had come back. It was short and minor, like an aftershock, but it certainly made Sky look guilty. There was a moment of near silence as everyone started to whisper amongst themselves, the incessant hissing similar to that of the jury at a trail. It was the only fair trial Sky would get.
“You fiend you killed my sister!” shouted a young flier high in the trees.
“Get out of our valley you monster!” cried a Spiketail mother near the bottom. Suddenly a tide of insults and yelling erupted from the gathered crowd. Littlefoot could only watch as Sky retreated his face under the cover of his wings… he made no move to tell them down. A group of young swimmers decided words were not enough, and started chucking rocks at him. He was too high up to hit, but the gesture was hurtful enough.
“Grandpa,” Littlefoot begged, “You have to stop this!”
Littlefoot’s Grandpa sighed and looked at Grandma for a moment. The two of them seemed to reach a conclusion, and Grandma decided to tell their grandson what it was.
“Littlefoot,” said Grandma wisely, “sometimes it’s best to let things run their course, there is little we can do.” Like the others they were not sure of Sky’s innocence.
“You can’t do nothing,” Littlefoot pleaded, “We know Sky and he didn’t do it… you have to stop this before he gets hurt!”
Both Grandparents looked uncertain, and they could see that most of the other residents of the Great Valley did too, so they chose to wait.
“If you don’t leave we’ll make you leave murderer!” called out Mr. Threehorn. A group of flyers decided to act more directly, and swooped down on Sky with their talons bared. Pushing them aside with his massive wingspan, Sky thundered through them and away as fast as he could – and they followed him. Other members of the meeting moved to do the same, but they were blocked by Ali’s herd that refused to move. A shouting match ensued as all the anger and frustration of the day manifested itself.
All the while Ali was in tears… she couldn’t believe what she had caused – Sky was her friend she didn’t mean to implicate him. Littlefoot nudged her lightly, and she turned to him.
“Come on Ali… let’s go find Sky and make this better.”
“Thanks,” whispered Ali, and the two longnecks whisked off into the valley avoiding notice by anyone else. Seeing this, the rest of the gang followed closely behind.
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The next part will have a bit about the villains too... nothing is worse then a generic villian with no genuine backstory.
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Good chapter. :yes Chomper’s practice hunt on Cera and (particularly) Sky’s reaction to Littlefoot and Ali’s chosen method of retrieving him from beneath the tree made me laugh. :lol
One thing that baffles me, though: in the present (the non-flashback scenes), the gang are adults, but it sounded like you said that Ruby is only a teenager. (I’m glad that she’s retained her characteristic way of speaking, in any case. :DD)
The next part will have a bit about the villains too... nothing is worse then a generic villian with no genuine backstory.
Whoa, don't say too much! I don’t want to know what’s coming up ahead of time! :p
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Thanks for catching that Pangea... i've changed it to "Ruby's adult features" because logically she would be an adult too if Littlefoot was.
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Part III:
The Dead Ravine was living up to its name as Eybron looked out over its arid splendour. Fresh cracks in the earth adorned the dirty and broken basin and boiling water was seeping up through them from the bowels of the earth. Taking life from somewhere so lifeless was a pointless endeavour, but from his perspective it was appealing because this time it meant success, and that there was no one around to tell about it.
Eybron was tall and slender, even for a wingtail, and from the scars on his light grey wings to the cold depths of his eyes there was little room for kindness or comfort. Despite his appearance others of his kind thought he was a hero – a warrior of an old age who had made many sacrifices to get to his current status. He did not intend to let them down. His weapon hadn’t worked perfectly, yet it did show potential to cause devastating earthquakes which was far beyond its original purpose.
Having seen enough, Eybron rotated on his feet with his hands together behind his back in a confident and relishing gesture. In front of him laid the most ancient shrine of the wingtails, the legendary Sonicron. By appearance it was a large horn made of pure volcanic glass, but it was capable of a lot more things then just amplifying sound – as he learned today. It was created by Benzon, the greatest of the wingtails during a time called the “Age of Creation” when food was plentiful and the Great Circle shined down upon its children like no time before. The most brilliant artists of that time were not content merely to waste their lives in this paradise so they spent their time creating works that would endure in their name for generations. Of course being the shrine’s appointed keeper, Eybron had to drill this information into his head. One thing astonished him though, and that was that in the over four centuries after being built they are still learning new things about it every season.
Eybron remembered when, almost fourteen seasons ago, he returned to the Feral Forest baring the Occular under his wing – the product of a quest given to him by the elders that cost him most of his youth and all of his innocence. He ventured into the Sharptooth Wastes, which was the realm of Tyron the most vicious sharptooth of his time. It nearly cost him his life but he succeeded and upon his return he was praised as a hero. As a reward he was handed stewardship of the Sonicron, and forced to learn its history.
Long ago the Sonicron had been used for communication amongst the Feral Forest in the form of songs, messages, and occasionally warnings. Other passing dinosaurs who had never seen anything like it believed that it could be heard by the dead, and often used it as a place to sing lament to the greatest of their fallen.
A malted brown wingtail glided down from the trees to join him on the cliffside, interrupting Eybron’s reverie. He did not even spare the newcomer a glance.
“What did you discover Barrau?” the grey wingtail asked of his lieutenant. In response Barrau bowed slightly.
“I have news about many things my lord,” he replied.
“About the Sonicron tests,” Eybron insisted coldly.
“Well,” said Barrau as he composed his reply, “of the five children we tested only two of them had the right pitch and tone of voice to resonate the horn.”
“Indeed,” sent Eybron as he turned once more to survey the damage inflicted upon the Dead Ravine. He knew the sonic earthquakes had affected lands beyond too, but how far he could only guess. If he didn’t have the responsibility to stay he would have gone out on his own to observe the impact of his latest experiment. Apart from that it amazed him that sound could sunder the earth in such a manner – he wondered if it could kill as well.
“And what else?” continued Eybron.
“We have spotted unusual sharpteeth stalking the forests below us… they have not been seen around here before,” Barrau reported, “could they have something to do with Tyron?”
“His spies most likely,” Eybron scowled, “…What else?”
“The council is sending another of our kind after the Occular… after all this time they are finally ready to seek out the carrier,” Barrau commented.
Eybron felt a tinge of bitterness. He had been enraged when he heard of the council’s decision to hand off such a priceless treasure to Sky, a nobody in the ranks of wingtail society. The simple eyeglass it appeared to be it was also covered in blood, for when he stole it from Tyron the sharptooth retaliated by ordering the killing of every bird within his domain. He was lucky to escape alive, both from the sharpteeth and his fellow birds who wanted to give him up to save themselves. In the end, no birds flew in the Sharptooth wastes. If the Occular had found it’s way back into Tyron’s claws after such a sacrifice was made to take it, he would find Sky and rip out his throat himself.
“What about the children my lord?” asked Barrau nervously.
“Send the others away… keep the two we need in the caves,” replied Eybron as he rubbed his chin in thought.
“But… what if they tell their parents and we are found out?” inquired the brown wingtail.
“Ensure they don’t.” added Eybron. Barrau did not need to be told twice, and left immediately to carry out his master’s orders.
As the wingtail departed Eybron looked again at the Sonicron, the mightiest work of the creators. Soon he would know its secrets… and then he would use it to smash the Tyrant Spire and bring the sharptooth’s empire to ruins.
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The Feral Forest was the ancient homeland of the Wingtails, and it was the most beautiful place a flyer could ever hope to live in. It shared more in common with a jungle as the giant canopy trees that were centuries old blocked out the elements and provided refuge for the locals who made their homes in them. When they weren’t fishing or sleeping the wingtails here flew from tree to tree unhindered by wind or rain. They were a happy and content race, at least most of them were. The few who needed value in their lives still practised the arts of creation, in the forms of air dance, woodcarving, and for the most dedicated few glass-shaping. Others simply enjoyed each others company and gathered to warm themselves in the sun or bask themselves in the cool air coming off the Abyss Lake.
Glide loved this place… but today he waited nervously on a branch while the others flew by and carried on with their lives without a care. This angered him, because when they were out eating or flying or whatever he was stuck here waiting on the branches outside the elders’ tree shaking in his feathers. Usually a summon to see the elders meant that you were in trouble as they usually had more important matters to deal with. Glide wondered what he could be in trouble for… he hadn’t done anything to anyone ever since he beat the snot out of that Sky rat for courting his sister under his nose. But Sky and him hadn’t seen each other face to face since he left a few seasons ago… what could the elders possibly want this time?
“The council will see you now,” announced a whitish green wingtail who briefly poked his head out of the net of leaves to address him. Glide sneered at him, relieved that his public humiliation was over.
Glide entered the elders’ tree though the dense leaves into an expansive area in the middle of the tree. Many generations of work had hallowed out the branches of the ancient oak so the inside was leafless and open, to better suit the meeting ring that the elders formed every time they called a council. There were six elders in the room and each one of them looked just as intimidating as the next. Glide felt a knot forming in his throat, he didn’t like coming here last time and this time didn’t look to be any better.
“Make your way to the centre please,” instructed a female elder. Glide obeyed, and it took him to in front of a weathered stump where he knew the head of the council roosted. Suspiciously it was empty today, and instead there sat upon it a peculiar clear blue object. Glide had to resist the urge to pick it up.
“Good…” the female elder continued, “Tenebron if you will.”
A large and imposing male elder landed in front of him, with the stump between them. His wings were a dark grey and his eyes were cold and emotionless.
“Are you Glide, son of Allisan?” he asked.
“y-yes I am,” Glide replied. He was so nervous he was shaking. Tenebron leaned forward as he asked his next question.
“Do you have living family?”
“Only my sister,” Glide said submissively. Surprisingly, the elder smiled back at his answer. What was he being punished for?
“If I might ask, umm,” started Glide, “Why have I been summoned?”
Tenebron’s brief smile turned to an icy glare. Maybe he had gone too far.
“Are you familiar with the Occular, Glide?” asked the dark grey elder as he folded his wings behind his back.
“It is one of our most treasured relics,” added another male elder, who was much older then Tenebron.
Glide couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Ever since he came out of the eggshell the teachers had drilled it into his head that, next to the Sonicron, the Occular was the greatest wingtail creation in existence.
“My son Eybron was sent to retrieve it a generation ago from the sharpteeth, at which he succeeded,” contributed Tenebron with a hint of pride.
“Its current keeper has been gone too long… Sky failed to return from his quest after three cold times as we commanded!” the female elder said bitterly.
Glide’s tail twitched at the mention of Sky. The two of them had never really got along, and the incident with his sister didn’t help things much. The first time he had ever been before the elders was with Sky, when they forbid the two of them to ever come near each other again. Glide had been happy to oblige, since Sky had also been banned from seeing Star, his sister. After that he didn’t see much of him, as he was sent away on some quest for the elders. He guessed it didn’t go as they had planned.
“We have summoned you here because we want you to retrieve the Occular by any means necessary,” Tenebron said, hissing the last line.
“What about your previous provisions?” Glide asked.
“Consider them retracted, the relics of our race are far more valuable then your petty squabbles,” the female elder shot. Apparently the elders didn’t think twice on going back on their judgements.
“Do what you will with Sky, he has disobeyed us and hence his fate is no longer important. Bring us the Occular,” reiterated Tenebron.
This was immensely relieving to Glide. Sky was no match for him physically, so it would be easy to simply snap his neck and be done with it. One thing bothered him though about this new mission.
“How am I supposed to find him? It will be like to trying to find a fishbone in a rocky field,” Glide said sarcastically. Since he knew he wasn’t in trouble he didn’t have to act polite anymore.
“With this…” stated Tenebron as he motioned towards the small crystal object. He picked it up so Glide could see what it was, and it turned out to be a bluish glass bell. It was really shiny and he found his eyes hung on it lustfully.
“This is known as the Cordian and it was Benzon’s last creation before his death. You will guard this with your life,” insisted Tenebron.
Glide took the bell in his hand and looked at it from all sides, admiring its beauty. Apart from his sister the thing he loved most in the world was shiny objects. He had a collection of them, and it was what he did in his spare time. A galley of stones and shells of all different colours and shapes adorned his hallowed out home at the family tree. Unable to resist, he lightly pushed the bob and the Cordian emitted a loud, elegant chime.
“It emits a perfect sound… if you are close enough it will cause the Occular to ring, not only distracting Sky but also allowing you to find him and complete your task,” lectured Tenebron, “… And no you can’t keep it.”
Glide cursed as the dark grey wingtail saw into his thoughts and predicted his next question. Maybe if he brought back the Occular quick enough they would reward him… or he could just steal it, but that would be much harder.
“You will return in five cold times, or whenever you complete your quest. If you do not return you will be hunted… and share the same fate as the thief Sky.” Spat the elder female.
“Bring back the Occular and the Cordian in perfect condition,” insisted Tenebron before waving him away, “you are dismissed.”
Taking the elders’ leave Glide flew out of the tree and set on his way. Before he left though he would have to tell his sister where he was going, or else she would be worried.
…
Glide found Star teaching her class at the Cordial springs across the river from the Feral Forest, which is a system of hot wells that drained into the Abyss Lake. She gave him a slight nod as he landed on the ground behind the children, but otherwise continued her lecture.
“The Cordial Springs are an ancient place that has been here since our race began, and perhaps even earlier. The hot water and lava cracks here were used by our ancestors to make and forge glass,” Star taught, and the gathered young ones watched in awe as a nearby geyser erupted showering hot water all around. One of the wingtails put up his hand.
“Yes Clive?” asked Star as she pointed to him to speak. Glide cleared his throat as a sign of impatience, so she added, “…quickly please.”
“How come this ëglass’ doesn’t melt like the hard water after the cold time?” the small green wingtail named Clive asked.
“Because glass is melted rock that has re-hardened once it became cool again. Cool for rock is a lot hotter than cool for water, so naturally it doesn’t break down even when the Great Circle shines on it,” Star answered, before continuing with her lecture, “the rock we will be looking for today is called lyestone and it will be black and shiny to your eyes. Find as many as you can and we will proceed to the next part of the lesson – now jump to it!”
The class dispersed as they flew about the springs with their task, leaving Star and Glide alone. She approached her brother, who as usual didn’t look too happy to be kept waiting.
“What is it Glide?” she asked.
“I will be leaving now… the elders have given me an important task. I’ll be away for a long time so don’t be concerned if I am away for many seasons,” Glide told her, and he turned to go. Star stopped him.
“What task?” she said as she pushed him for more information. He decided to tell her.
“I am to find and return the Occular,”
“And what about Sky?” his sister asked him desperately.
“They told me to do as I will… and I intend to make him suffer,” Glide responded coldly. Star grabbed him.
“I know what he did but please, please don’t kill him!” She begged. Her brother sneered at her.
“What could you possibly see in him… it was only a matter of time before he hurt you!” Glide spat as he growled at her.
The sound of falling rocks nearby distracted the both of them, and brother and sister turned to see Clive standing right there, his mouth wide open. The falling rocks had been him dropping all the lyestones he had been carrying. Star quickly escorted him away, while Glide just sneered at him. After the youngster was out of earshot, Star turned back to her brother.
“Promise me,” she insisted. Glide respected her, so he relented.
“Alright… I promise I won’t kill him.” He said spitefully
Star was tortured inside. Ever since Sky left there had been a knot in her stomach – and it was full of the things she never got the chance to say. The two of them had been friends since they hatched, and they both shared a passion for teaching and learning that eventually drew them together. One night they agreed to watch the Great Circle go down together and as soon as it hit the horizon she had a moment of weakness – and kissed him. Unfortunately Glide came and found them, and beat Sky within an inch of his life. She screamed for him to stop but it was only when another wingtail, someone she didn’t know named Eybron, pulled him off and ended the fight. A short trip to the elders later and she was never allowed to see Sky again. She never wanted it to happen that way.
“He had a reason for not coming back Glide – I know it.” Star told her brother, in hopes he might be able to tell how she felt.
“Either way I have a job to do… goodbye sister,” and Glide spread his wings to take off.
“Stay safe,” Star told him, and she licked the side of his face affectionately. Glide smiled as he flew off into the afternoon air for lands unknown.
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Littlefoot and Ali searched the forests of the Great Valley for hours, calling Sky’s name as they panned the trees for any sign of his blue feathers. Soon they discovered that they weren’t the only ones looking for Sky, as there were hunting parties of flyers sweeping the area at regular intervals to bring him to justice. Fortunately nobody bothered Littlefoot and Ali because they assumed that the two longnecks were after him for the same reason. Eventually they had to stop their search at dusk due to exhaustion.
“Oh this is hopeless we will never find Sky,” Ali whined, “maybe we should just go back and play with your friends.”
“Don’t give up Ali, he has to be around here somewhere,”
Littlefoot raised an eyebrow and looked around intensely at nearby things, including a tree, a rock formation, and a pile of logs. Seeing nothing, he turned to Ali with an idea.
“Is there anything about him that you know could help us find Sky, like his favourite food or favourite places?” Littlefoot inquired.
“I already told you… he just joined our herd before the last cold time and,” Ali raised her head as she thought of something, “he likes to watch the Great Circle set… he does it every night!”
“Hmm,” thought Littlefoot out loud, “If I wanted to see the Great Circle go down I would be… at the Great Wall!”
The two longnecks bolted into action and ran towards the cliffs that held the Great Wall, which was far beyond the search radius of the valley’s flyers. Littlefoot led the way as they crossed the river, skirted the bushes, and passed through the sheltering grass. The Great Circle was dipping low in the sky when they reached the Great Wall, and a dark silhouette could clearly be seen against the glowing sun when they looked up. It was big enough to be a large flier… just like Sky!
“There he is Littlefoot!” cried Ali.
The two of them climbed the stones until they were both on level with Sky, but he didn’t even look at them.
“Sky it’s me… Ali.” Ali called out to him. He turned, and both longnecks recoiled in shock. His chest and wings were rent and torn and a droplet of blood ran down from a gash in the side of his face. He looked almost ghostly. Ali couldn’t help it, and tears ran out of her eyes.
“Sky I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to-” the longneck began, but Sky stopped her by lifting her chin with his hand until they were looking eye to eye.
“Chin up Ali, your friend wouldn’t want to see you like this.” Sky said as he smiled at her.
“But your face… your wings… they are…”
“Aye, I am injured. It would appear I am unwelcome in yet another green place.” The blue wingtail lamented as he turned once more to the Great Valley, which was bathed in the red light of the setting sun.
“But Sky, me and Ali know you’re innocent. We’ve got to tell the others it wasn’t your fault,” Littlefoot asserted.
“Oh no,” Sky told the longneck as he furled his wings behind his back, “It is high time I returned… that I went back to my far away home.”
Ali sniffed and rubbed her face with her paw to wipe away the tears. She had to find a way to make this up to Sky.
“Sky… I’m going with you.” Ali whispered.
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I have a nice map in my Carto-artwork thread of the world in "Far Away Home"
You can find it here:
http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=6598 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=6351)
Caustizer.
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The original post has been modified to include a picture of Sky, Star, and Glide that was made by Sky a while ago as the cover of his comic book.
Go to the first page to check it out.
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Great chapter! ^_^
I kinda like the "kiss" part. :lol: And that Sky looking the Sunset everytime... gives me alot of ideas for my own project (the one I mentioned earlier on your PM). ;)
It's nice to hear something about the villians. Eybron is a really interesting character.
The story is getting really interesting now. :D
Heh, I never thought of Star being a teacher. :lol I like the idea. ^^
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Eybron is an interesting character... every villian is somebody's hero.
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Congratulations! You’ve managed to completely turn around my perceptions of Sky. I’m feeling a lot more sympathetic to him now, not only in that he’s been ostracized by the Great Valley dinosaurs, but also the fact that almost everyone at his original home seems to be against him as well. Not to mention that he’s now going to be being hunted. Poor guy...
I also like the three-dimensionality (that’s a real word, right? :p) of the antagonists. Actually, if you hadn’t indicated previously that this chapter would be about the villains, I don’t know if I would have immediately recognized any of them as such. :p
I found one sentence that might need a bit of revising:
The Cordial Springs are an ancient place that has been here since our race began, and perhaps even sooner.
Did you mean “perhaps even longer”? That would seem like it would make more sense.
Can’t wait for the next chapter. :smile
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Thank you for picking that up Pangaea I have changed that sentance.
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Part IV:
“What are you thinking Ali?” Littlefoot asked in shock, “it’s too dangerous out there… not to mention your mom would be worried sick,”
“When has that ever stopped you!” Ali shot back, “I’m going and you can’t stop me Littlefoot… I have to make this up to Sky,”
“Think about what your doing Ali,” insisted Sky, “It will be a long and hard journey, even for a flyer like me. You don’t owe me this.”
“I’ve been part of a wandering heard since I hatched,” stated Ali, “I’m going with you whether you like it or not!”
Ali stomped her foot, declaring that her decision was final. Littlefoot was surprised at how overly emotional she was acting – what was getting into her? She wasn’t like this when they first met a few seasons ago, even if she had grown slightly.
“Very well,” submitted Sky, and he stretched his wings to make ready for takeoff, “We must depart immediately. You will follow my directions to the letter I trust?”
Ali nodded her acceptance.
“Good, then we will–”
“Hold on,” interrupted Littlefoot, “If Ali’s going then I’m going too.”
“What are you doing?” gasped Ali.
“Coming along,” smiled Littlefoot politely, “you could use someone to keep you company.”
Ali’s face contorted in confusion, but Sky could see what was going on. It didn’t take his outstanding intellect to know he was courting her. It would seem that fate had put him in a stranglehold he couldn’t get out of, for if he took both these young longnecks with him their parents would come after them far beyond the valley walls. On the other hand he couldn’t stay or he would become the undeserving victim of their anger. He didn’t have a choice – he would have to take them both with him.
“Fine, both of you may come with me… but we had best get a good lead before your parents realize that you’re gone.”
Both Littlefoot and Ali agreed. Now both of the longnecks went along with his terms, Sky could carry on as he intended. The wingtail gave his wings an experimental flap to test the air as he readied himself for takeoff. Just then an important thought occurred to Littlefoot, so he had to bring it up.
“Umm… wait a minute Sky,” Littlefoot asked timidly.
“Yes Littlefoot?” The wingtail asked with a tinge of annoyance.
“Would you mind if we… you know… bring a few of my friends with us?”
…
Sky stood with his arms crossed on a tree branch out of sight and slightly above the ground. He couldn’t believe he let Littlefoot talk him into this. If the longneck did not show such great potential, he probably would have refused the request. In truth he had actually wanted to bring both of his favourite younglings with him, but the more reasonable part of his mind told him that the journey would be a hard one for them. It would be even harder though now that he insisted on bringing the rest of his friends. If something were to happen to any of them, Sky did not want to have that on his conscience.
Below him the longneck conversed with his friends, telling them of Sky’s innocence and the marvellous adventure ahead of them. He couldn’t help but admire Littlefoot’s courage and loyalty… it would appear that he had a friend of almost every type in the valley! Such a thing was unheard of where he came from, where they were encouraged from birth to avoid other species if possible. Suddenly Littlefoot turned towards the tree and called him down. Sky sighed; he guessed it was time to give this a try.
As Littlefoot and the entire gang, including Ali, Petrie, Ducky, Spike, Cera, Ruby and Chomper watched Sky swooped out of the tree and made his favourite entrance – a single airborne loop followed by a perfectly landing on his feet. As the members of the gang gasped, even the ones he knew, Sky touched his trick off with a slight bow.
“That was pretty good… it was, it was!” admired Ducky. Spike grunted his admiration too.
“Sky, this is Ducky and Spike,” introduced Littlefoot.
“A pleasure,” Sky replied to the two of them.
“Ooo… why are we hanging around this freak instead of turning him in? You heard what my dad said,” blurted Cera.
“And when has your dad actually been right?” asked Littlefoot as he grinned. The gang laughed.
“Mmph,” Cera grumbled as she turned her nose in the air. After so long she had learned that her father didn’t always have the best or most correct views, even if she loved and respected him.
“This is Cera… she’s a threehorn.” Littlefoot told Sky.
“I can tell,” Sky replied slyly, before moving onto the next one in the group, “and who might you be?”
“Hiyah, I’m Chomper,” the tiny sharptooth said as he beamed up at Sky.
“Don’t worry, he’s a friendly sharptooth,” added Ruby, but Sky ignored her. He glanced at Chomper’s teeth.
“I see you are one tooth short of a full set,” the wingtail remarked.
“Yeah,” replied Chomper as he felt the spot where the tooth no longer remained, “it came out during the earthshake. Ruby kept me from getting hurt though… so it was worth it.” He pointed to Ruby.
“Sky this is Ruby, she’s a fastrunner from the mysterious beyond,” introduced Littlefoot.
“Hi Sky,” said Ruby as she held out her hand politely. Sky just ignored her again and turned back to Littlefoot.
“This is good of you to introduce me to all of your friends Littlefoot, but could we talk in private for a moment?”
As Sky and Littlefoot moved out of earshot Ruby looked at Chomper in bewilderment. The sharptooth just shrugged. Ruby assumed he just had more important things on his mind.
“What is it Sky,” asked Littlefoot.
“I appreciate your loyalty to your friends, but things are bad enough for me as it is,” the wingtail put one of his hands on the longneck’s shoulder, “if I take all of you with me, your parents will hunt us… hunt me… to the ends of the known world.”
“Don’t worry, we’ve been lots of places. Our folks will just think we have gone exploring again,” Littlefoot said positively.
“Littlefoot…” Sky’s tone turned serious, “once we leave we won’t be coming back.”
The words resonated in Littlefoot’s eardrums – once they were gone they would never come back to the Great Valley.
“Come on Sky, Littlefoot, let’s go!” shouted Ali, and the rest of the gang looked like they were ready to leave as well. Sky turned to them and addressed the gang as a whole.
“Listen to me young ones, the place we are going – my homeland – is very very far away. We will be crossing icy mountains, arid canyons, and misty lands far beyond anything you have ever imagined.”
“Pff…” snorted Cera, “been there, done that.” Sky glanced at Littlefoot in surprise.
“Yeah we have been around a lot,” Littlefoot admitted shyly. Sky smiled; maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad as he feared.
“Anyway… once we leave we will not be coming back,” Sky proclaimed, “If any of you are having second thoughts and wish to stay now is your last chance.”
“We behind you the whole way!” Petrie called out.
“This could be fun, who knows what cool places we will see!” agreed Chomper.
“And wherever Chomper goes, I go with him,” proclaimed Ruby.
“Then it’s settled… we’re all coming with you Sky,” said Littlefoot.
“Excellent,” replied Sky, and in the moment of enthusiasm he added, “Adventure awaits those who seek it.”
Taking Sky’s lead, the gang followed him into the night and into lands beyond.
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Sky led the gang the long way around the valley, mainly to avoid going through and being spotted. If he got caught at this point they would probably have his head on a stick for attempting to take their children. Of course they all came along willingly, and he had warned them the dangers of doing so.
Eventually their route through the Mysterious Beyond took them around to the remains of Saurus Rock, and it was one of their most depressing stops. Littlefoot remembered when he stole a tooth from a live sharptooth to get rid of the bad luck in the valley – which was rumoured to happen whenever Saurus Rock had been damaged. Now it had been completely flattened, with only a pile of molted stone marking its former resting place. Perhaps somewhere out there the Lone Dinosaur had met his end, and the earthquake was his death throe. Littlefoot chose to avoid the thought altogether.
“I guess we’re in for it now eh Littlefoot?” Cera said sarcastically to her longneck friend, for she didn’t believe in something as dumb as bad luck. Luck was luck, and some rock certainly didn’t decide things like that.
“I think we have already suffered enough bad luck,” replied Littlefoot as he could see the giant fissure where the seismic wave had torn the valley apart. Fallen trees were everywhere this close to the epicentre, yet strangely areas outward from the crack seemed to suffer less damage. Normal earthshakes didn’t do that.
It wasn’t long before the entire gang stopped to rest for the night. The need for rest and feeding brought them to a stop in a nice forested clearing, just beyond the edges of the valley.
“Good night Ruby,” Chomper said as he yawned,
“Good night Chomper,” repeated Ruby, and she picked a large leaf from a nearby bush and put it on top of him to keep him warm. As Chomper made himself comfortable she ruffled her feathers. The trail was dry and gritty and Ruby felt like she was filthy – maybe she could sneak a late night bath before going to sleep with the others.
“Hmm I wonder where Littlefoot and Sky got off too,” Ruby said to herself, and then she shrugged. They would probably be back, because Littlefoot looked just as tired as she did and it was getting late. Ruby couldn’t help but yawn as she headed off towards the river, it was probably best to keep this quick.
…
“So you never really told me what a creator was,” Littlefoot inquired as him and Sky finished drinking from the water at the riverbank. Sky wiped his mouth and looked intently into the water. In a flash he withdrew the Occular and peered into the depths, searching for something. A moment later he set down the ancient eyeglass and snapped at the water, pulling up a fish. With a single crunch he snapped its neck.
“Sorry,” apologized Sky, as he set the dead fish down, and he added with a chuckle “Us birds have to eat too.”
“Yeah, it’s alright,” replied Littlefoot.
“Here,” Sky continued, “if you want to know what a creator is I will show you.”
The wingtail settled down onto his knees, and Littlefoot kneeled to see what he was doing. He collected a handful of pebbles in his hand, and poured them into the soft sand. The stones themselves were insignificant, but as Sky rearranged them into an odd shape Littlefoot began to wonder what exactly he was doing.
“There… done,” proclaimed Sky proudly.
“What is it?” Littlefoot asked.
“Come… take a look,” Sky pointed at his creation, and Littlefoot had to tilt his head to see it. After a moment the image became clear.
“Hey… it’s a longneck like me,” Littlefoot stretched his neck for emphasis. Sky nodded, and gathered the rocks together and placed them in front of the longneck.
“Now you try,” he insisted.
“Hmm,” Littlefoot stuck is tongue out the side of his mouth as he pushed around the rocks with his paws. Eventually he too came up with something, “there… done.”
Sky looked down at it and frowned.
“It’s Cera,” exclaimed Littlefoot, before lowering his head to the ground and looking back up at Sky in embarrassment, “when she’s angry.”
The formation of rocks looked like an evil face. The longneck had quite the imagination, and Sky couldn’t help but laugh at the creation, and he gave Littlefoot a pat on the back.
“Good work Littlefoot. You took a collection of ordinary things from nature and combined them in a way that formed a picture or expression in your mind. In a sense, you have become a creator.”
“Really?” asked Littlefoot excitedly.
“Of course… it’s the first step towards the ultimate realization,” Sky told him.
“What’s that?” inquired Littlefoot again. He could feel that his new friend was leading up to something important.
“That we have been born into this world for a reason, a reason that goes far beyond the food we eat, the children we have and the friends we make. And when you die, your skin may rot away and your bones may disappear into the sands of time, but that reason remains in the hearts and minds of the ones you love.” Sky finished on a serious and all encompassing note.
“But, what is that reason?” Littlefoot asked. Sky was amazed again at how sharp he was – most dinosaurs did not understand or believe him when he said things this deep.
“That reason is knowledge,” Sky taught, and with a flick of his fingers he procured the Occular and held it up for Littlefoot to see, “…and how we choose to preserve it.”
“Wow,” Littlefoot said as the truth began to sink in. He remembered the death of his mother, and how heartbreaking and painful it was to him. It hurt to think that now she was just a pile of bones somewhere in the Shattered Lands, passed by others who had no idea of the greatness that she was. The only things he had left of her were his memories – and her knowledge. If it wasn’t for that he would have never made it to the Great Valley.
“It may take some time to see fully,” admitted Sky, “and if we are fortunate we will have plenty of it. You had best get some rest tonight, for tomorrow we will enter the Land of the Mists and you will need all your wits about you.”
Littlefoot yawned and obeyed Sky’s words. It was a lot to think about – what the wingtail had told him – but he was too tired to think about it tonight. With a brushing of leaves the young longneck headed back into the woods towards the clearing where the others were sleeping.
…
With Littlefoot gone off to bed, Sky could finally enjoy his late night meal. Wingtails were omnivores, but they preferred fish and other soft meats much more than green food. One chomp and Sky had stripped the fillet right off the bones. It felt nice to finally get a chance to feed, since his last meal had been at the height of the Great Circle.
“That was pretty incredible, you know what you told Littlefoot when you were talking,” said Ruby as she slipped out of the bushes. She was still a little wet from her late night bath, but she had come back soon enough to hear the biggest part of what Sky’s speech.
“It’s nice to see that someone else likes water swimmers too… back in the valley my parents forbid me to catch any so I haven’t had one in a while,” Ruby sat down next to Sky and crossed her legs. Sky did not answer. He threw away the fish bone and glared at her.
“What, I didn’t scare you did I?” the fastrunner asked. In response Sky simply spread his wings and took off, leaving her alone on the riverbank.
Ruby was bewildered. Had she done something to offend him? As the wingtail disappeared over the trees there was a part in her mind that said he didn’t like her not because of who she was, but because of what she was. She yawned as the late night circle hit its highest point – she was too tired to think about it now. It was best to ask Littlefoot in the morning.
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The night air was crisp and cold as Glide made his way across the Icy Mountains. He had never been this far from home before, but that didn’t scare him. Up in the air he was pretty safe, as there weren’t many flyers who would dare take on a fully grown wingtail… especially one of his size and build. One of his favourite things to do was to fight other wingtails for practise, but when he found that nobody could beat him he got bored of it and turned to collecting things. Maybe that was why the elders chose him to go after Sky, because they knew he had a grudge and that one on one he had the upper hand.
After a while Glide sighted a nice glade on the edge of the mountains, a nice place to stop to rest. Coming in for a landing he noticed that he wasn’t the only one who found it. The entire place was filled by a single wandering herd, composed of many different types of leaf eater. Glide had never seen so many before in one place – it could be the cold wind coming of the mountains drove them to look for shelter, or they simply wandered here as part of an extended journey. Either way, it was possible Sky was around here somewhere amongst them… only one sure way to find out.
Glide took out the Cordian from inside of his wing. Whoever designed this thing certainly knew what they were doing, as it had a nice loop in it that allowed him to fasten it around an inside feather and remain there until he needed it. With a small flick he touched the bob and a crisp, pure sound resonated into the night air. While this occurred Glide listened intently for any returning sound – he didn’t know what. Unfortunately the sound was broken by the incessant chattering and slurping of the mixed herd below him on the river. Pretty much all the dinosaurs in the glade had heard the sound, and now stared directly at him. It wasn’t pleasant.
“What are you looking at?” snarled Glide aggressively as he addressed the crowd that was rudely staring at him. Many of them realized their mistake and returned to what they were doing, leaving the black wingtail to his own again.
“I didn’t think so…” Glide said spitefully as he turned and looked out over yet more boring wilderness full of giant leaf eaters. The things were everywhere… there were Longnecks, Threehorns, Swimmers and many other types as well. Their very presence here disgusted him. How could creatures that ate so much expect to survive? One big drought or famine and they would all slowly die from starvation. Glide hoped it would happen soon, so they wouldn’t be around keep interrupting him in his quest. With a snort, he repositioned the Cordian within his wing and moved on to continue his search for Sky.
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“Up, up,” insisted Sky, “We must get moving before the Great Circle rises.”
“Aww… but it’s so early,” whined Littlefoot as he yawned and rolled over on his makeshift bed. Being used to sleeping in soft sand in the Great Valley it was a rude awakening to have to bed on dirt again. It was odd though… only in the past few weeks had he noticed how difficult it was to sleep anywhere but his own bed – what was happening to him?
“Get up! Get up!” yelled Sky as he flapped his wings vigorously to rise the gang from their slumber, “You leaf-eaters are wasting the day!”
Many of them had similar reactions to Littlefoot, and some like Spike didn’t even bother getting up at all. Eventually though they were all assembled and ready to leave, for the most part. Ducky was still half asleep.
“Oh I was having a good sleep story… yep, yep, yep.” She complained as she held onto Spike’s tail to keep her on her feet.
“Petrie,” Cera said as she yawned and turned around to face the flyer lying face down on her back, “If you fall asleep I’m going to be right behind you,”
Petrie reluctantly took off into the air, and he looked like he was about ready to collapse.
The reason for the gang’s sleepiness was revealed when the group of them passed over the ridge and saw that the Great Circle was just beginning to rise above the horizon.
“Oh…” Littlefoot moaned as he turned to Ali, and she had her eyes half closed too. In fact the only one of the bunch who had any sort of enthusiasm was Sky, who seemed as energetic as ever. He swooped from tree to tree, using his Occular to get a good look around. After a few hours of this he suddenly flew on ahead, so far that the gang couldn’t see him.
“Come on Littlefoot, we have to catch up,” insisted Ali, behind the two longnecks was Ducky and Spike with Petrie flying above, and Cera with Ruby and Chomper bringing up the rear. A familiar scent hit Ali’s nostrils as she followed Sky’s trail, until eventually she found the wingtail who had landed on the edge of a sheer cliff. She recognized where they were almost immediately.
“It’s…it’s,” started Ali as she sniffed the air more intensely to take in the beautiful smell.
“The Land of the Mists,” finished Sky, and he withdrew the Occular to scout the expansive forest beneath them. Panning from side to side he took in the land, but from the start it became apparent that something was missing. He made a note to look into it more closely when they got down. As Ali stood taking in her homeland, her smile turned to a concerned frown. The others caught up to them.
“If this is the Land of the Mists… where’s all the mist?” asked Chomper.
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I have a bad feeling that the gang’s not going to see their families again for a long time... :(
I’m also, admittedly, a little disappointed that Guido’s not coming with them, but I guess a party of nine is a lot of characters for an author to write for. (Also, I wonder what happened to Guido and Syndra's eggs during the earthshake...)
While I’ve developed more sympathy for Sky since the last chapter, I don’t like his attitude towards Ruby. I suppose he must have some sort of reason for disliking fast runners, but still, he’s just being rude!
Of course, that’s nothing compared to Glide’s speciesism; sheesh! :anger I’m disliking that guy more and more as the story goes on. (If you're trying to make your readers feel that way about him, you're doing a good job. ;))
Well, the good news is, it looks like Ali’s herd can finally go back to their old home. :p
My apologies if this review has been a little...gloomy. I’m enjoying the story greatly, but I’m finding its tone to be much darker than most of the LBT fanfics I’ve reviewed. (Nothing wrong with that; I’m just saying it. :angel)
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Rise of Storm Tide was my attempt to write a pure, light, and epic LBT story.
Far Away Home is much darker, though it is also a lot more developed then any of the stories I've written thus far. The main thing I went for was to give the reader a reason to hate the villians (all three of them lol) but to hate different ones more then others at different times. For reference the villians at this point are Glide, Eybron, and Tyron.
On all other points the answer is simple - "You don't know Sky". :lol (movie referrence).
Caustizer.
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^ I didn't get the movie reference, but I understand what you mean. :p
I'm afraid that most of my recent reviews have constituted little more than my immediate personal reactions to the events of the chapters; I suppose that's not a whole lot of substance in terms of feedback. (Or maybe I'm just being paranoid because my reviews for this story aren't as long as the ones I left for "Rise of Storm Tide". :p)
I'd really rather not continue to be the only reviewer on this fanfic, so if anyone else is reading this, it would help me as well as Caustizer if you shared your opinions.
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Sky PMed me his feedback on this week's chapter, so its nice to know I have two reviewers for this one instead of one.
I also have a few people following it on Fanfic.net which I didn't have with RoTS.
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Part V:
“If this is the Land of the Mists… where’s all the mist?” asked Chomper
“I don’t know,” admitted Sky as he searched along the horizon and beyond with his eyeglass, “but I intend to find out.”
The trip down the cliffs was a smooth one as Sky did an excellent job finding a safe enough path for the gang to transgress. He also scouted ahead to make sure there were no immediate threats, such as sharpteeth or quicksand and whatnot. With the mists no longer there to conceal them, it paid to be careful.
“Say, how come you never did any of this for us?” asked Cera of Petrie.
“Me too scared of getting lost,” the flyer replied.
“Humph,” grumbled Cera, “that doesn’t seem to bother him.”
As the group of young adventurers crossed the land of the mists, Ali was amazed at how far she could see now. She had grown up here, and recognized nearly all of it. It was a joyous feeling – now that all the mist was gone her herd could come back!
“Hey Littlefoot now that it’s not so misty anymore… we can come home!” she proclaimed.
“I wouldn’t be so sure Ali, something doesn’t feel right about this,” Littlefoot replied.
“Right you are Littlefoot,” added Sky as he landed in front of the two longnecks. He held out his wing to halt their progress.
“What is it Sky?” Littlefoot asked.
Sky glanced about slowly and intensely, as if he knew something was out of place in the surrounding trees. It was dead silent. After a moment he waved them onward.
“It’s too… quiet,” Cera said with unease.
In Sky’s experience when things were really quiet it hinted that there was a predator stalking the woods, and that even the birds stopped singing to avoid giving themselves away. In this case though there was something definitely off… not only was all the mist gone, but the entire valley was lifeless. He hadn’t even seen any insects since he got here, which could only mean one thing – poison.
“Aww… what’s that awful smell,” Chomper said as he covered up his nose.
“Whatever you smell Chomper, I can’t smell it,” Ruby said in a puzzled manner. Ducky sniffed the air too.
“I cannot smell it either, I can’t,” she said, and Spike tried sniffing too and made a gesture that he too couldn’t pick it up.
“Keep up, we must hurry,” insisted Sky.
Soon the gang came to a river, or what used to be one. The entire bed had dried up, leaving only scattered patches of mud. All around dead fish and other water dwelling creatures littered the muddy ground. Everyone was covering there noses now, even Sky. The wingtail had smelt dead fish before, since in his homeland he lived right next to the lake, so he knew that this wasn’t that smell. It was something different.
“Ewe this is disgusting,” commented Cera.
“I don’t think we are coming back after all…” put out Ali as she started coughing even though her paw was covering her nose.
“Where did-id all the water go?” asked Ducky as she lightly pulled on Sky’s wing, hoping he knew the answer. A grotesque bubbling sound reached his ears, and with a glance down steam the answer suddenly became clear.
Not a hundred metres from them a giant volcanic sinkhole gashed the earth taking up an area the size of a lake. When the strange earthquake had violently passed through this area it had not only split the ground and knocked down trees, but it also caused a part of the valley to collapse that had lied for hundreds of years across a dormant natural gas deposit. Now that the vent was open not only had it sucked down the water, thus removing the mists, but it also released its devastatingly toxic burden into the lowest recesses of the valley causing mass suffocation and death. For now the gasses had subsided, but they could rise again at any moment.
“We have to go… now!” called out Sky in alarm. Everyone took his lead and moved to obey, except for Cera.
“Oh no you don’t… I’m not going anywhere until you tell us what’s going on here,”
“Cera, we have to listen to him he knows what he’s doing,” Littlefoot insisted.
“What’s wrong with you Littlefoot… like it or not we have no idea who this flyer is and where he’s taking us, and I’m not listening to any more of his sudden ideas until I get some answers.” Cera stomped her foot in anger.
“Very well… you see what happened to all these creatures? If we don’t leave immediately it will happen to us, and happen to us very soon,” Sky told the threehorn.
“Like what… it’s not like we live in the water or anything,” Cera shot back. She thought it was because the water was gone.
“True… but nothing can live through this,” Sky said as a loud hissing sound reached the trio of dinosaurs, and he pointed behind him to its source. He had expected to use the sound as his warning, but little did he know that a cloud of sickly yellow sulphurous was heading right for them.
Littlefoot and Cera didn’t need to be warned again, it was like something out of their nightmares. They both screamed. Sky turned and saw it too.
“This way, hurry!” Sky called as he swooped over them. The longneck and the threehorn sprinted after him as fast as they could, ducking under branches and jumping over logs as they went. Cera looked behind her to see the leaves melting off the trees – it was utterly terrifying.
“To high ground… follow me up the cliffs!” hollered Sky over the roar of the gas cloud.
They just made it. As Littlefoot and Cera crested the cliff the burst of gas finally ran out of momentum and began to collapse back into the hole from whence it came. Both of the young dinosaurs collapsed, breathing heavy. They had never ran so hard in their lives.
“That was close, far closer then it should have been,” commented Sky seriously as he watched the toxic cloud recede leaving nothing but dead husks of trees in its wake. They had been lucky. Littlefoot glanced angrily at Cera.
“Okay so I was wrong about the death mist,” she admitted to Littlefoot, “but he should have told us before it was about to kill us.”
Above, the rest of the gang had made it out and were coming down to greet them.
“Oh Littlefoot, I’m so glad your safe,” called out Ali, and she nuzzled him. Littlefoot blushed, prompting Ali to step back in embarrassment. She hadn’t meant to be that open about her feelings. Cera saw it and looked disgusted.
“That yellowy mist was scary, it was,” commented Ducky.
“It so fast we almost no outrun it,” added Petrie.
“Yeah, and that must’ve been what I smelt with my sniffer,” Chomper said as he pointed to his nose.
“I think that was just the dead water swimmers,” frowned Ruby. Chomper wasn’t too sure, but it sounded reasonable. He would have thought smelling pre-killed food would be more appealing.
There was a small ring as Sky put away the Occular, and turned to address the gang. He spoke to Ali specifically.
“It would appear as though the Land of the Mists is now unliveable, I regret saying this but Ali your herd may never come home.” Sky donned a look of sincere sorrow as he passed the news to the young longneck.
“It’s okay… we’ve been wandering for a long time now it would’ve been hard for us to change,” she replied.
Ali felt empty now that her home was gone, but there another feeling too and like a furled night flower it seemed to keep itself locked inside. Sometimes when she looked at Littlefoot it started to bloom, but then withdrew just as suddenly as it came. On top of that weird things were starting to happen to her, like she was changing and there was nothing that could be done about it. Where once the world had been so clear, it was turning into a Land of Mists.
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Sky led the gang up the steep rocky slope into yet another jungle-like forest that Ali had never been to before. She remembered vaguely her parents forbidding her to go there when she was a hatchling, so this was the farthest she had ever been in this direction in her whole life. The same applied to the rest of the gang, excluding Sky, and all around there were sounds of small birds flying in amongst the trees and small animals making their way through the branches. Some of them stopped to look at the strange group of dinosaurs passing through their lands, but most simply ignored them and carried on with their lives.
“They are here to escape the gas… which is why it’s more crowded then usual,” lectured Sky as he pushed his way through the dense underbrush. Littlefoot and Ali followed behind him.
“I wonder if Tickles is here,” Ducky said aloud, and Spike started to turn side to side and scan the trees – just in case.
At the rear of the group Chomper felt hunger gnawing at his stomach. He hadn’t eaten since they left the Great Valley and up till now he had kept silent about it, but it was proving quite overwhelming. Ruby heard his tummy growling and decided to address it.
“Hungry Chomper?” she asked.
“You bet I am… I hate to say it but Cera’s tail is looking pretty good right about now,” Chomper looked longingly at the threehorn’s tail wagging back and forth in front of him.
Sometimes his natural sharptooth instincts were very hard to suppress, but luckily Ruby knew him enough to understand. If he told any of the others how he felt, they might take it the wrong way and come back at him.
“We’ll find you something,” Ruby said positively as she looked around, but unfortunately there was nothing that a sharptooth would eat – and she couldn’t just kill an innocent little animal for him. It was a sensitive situation for the both of them.
“Why don’t you ask Sky if we can stop by a river so you can catch me a water swimmer?” Chomper asked, “I’m sure he won’t mind.”
“Oh I’m not sure Chomper,” said Ruby uncertainly as she looked at the ground, “I don’t think he likes me too much.” Chomper’s grin turned into a look of concern.
“Why?” the sharptooth asked.
Cera had been listening casually, in case Chomper decided to come after her tail, and at Ruby’s comment she turned around to hear the answer.
“Well, he’s been ignoring me ever since we were introduced, and last night…” Ruby paused, unsure what to say, “… last night he stood me up.”
“He did WHAT!?!” yelled Cera. It startled Chomper so much he actually jumped. Ruby on the other hand wished she hadn’t yelled so loud, as now Ducky and Spike were listening too. She had hoped to keep it a secret.
“He…umm…” Ruby stammered, and mashed her hands together nervously, “I tried talking to him but instead of talking back he looked at me like I was…” Ruby was shaking - she didn’t like talking bad about other people but it was coming out anyway, “… a smelly spiketail.” Spike looked offended.
“And your just going to take that?” demanded Cera.
Ruby just stood and looked at something else, wishing she was anywhere but here. She looked apologetically at Spike.
“If you’re not going to be mad then I’m going to be mad for you!” asserted Cera, and she stormed off towards the front of the line.
“Cera wait! Do not talk to him when you are mad, you will only make things worse,” called out Ducky. She knew from experience that acting when you’re mad wasn’t smart, especially since when it happened to her during the first cold time and her brother almost left because of it.
Cera didn’t listen and kept right on going, barging past Littlefoot and Ali on her way up to the very front where Sky was busy scouting their path ahead from the air. From the start she had smelt a rat, and with all these bad things happening around them she was sure that this wingtail was to blame. Now that she had proof he’d done something wrong, it was time to wring some answers out of him.
“Get down here Sky, we need to talk!” the threehorn girl hollered into the trees, and sure enough he came on his own. Doing his signature flip, Sky landed in front of her and bowed.
“How may I be of service?” he asked. Cera found his whimsiness very annoying, on top of everything else.
“Why are you being so mean to Ruby, she’s only trying to be your friend,” Cera asked forcefully. Sky looked a bit uncomfortable at the question. After a moment he composed himself.
“Understand, where I come from our kind and the jungle runners are bitter enemies. They are thieves and murderers, sneaking into our nests at night and taking our unborn children. As for your friend… I’ve given her the benefit of the doubt, but I believe it may take some time.” Sky ended with a slight glance towards Ruby, but it was quick and unreadable before he had turned back to Cera.
Sky didn’t believe in blind racism, but hating someone because of their race and hating someone because they were your enemy were two completely different things. He, along with all the other adults his age, had been taught to loathe the jungle runners since the day they hatched. It was fair to ask for some time in the matter, at least by his thinking, because Ruby had yet to prove herself in his eyes. For all he knew she could be plotting behind their back.
“Oh yeah well it didn’t take you too long to accept the ëfriendly sharptooth’ did it?” Cera argued, and her point was a good one, “I think you’re just being stuck up.”
“Cera,” Littlefoot interrupted, he had been surprised to learn that Sky had been rude to Ruby, but this conversation was going on too long to keep friends so he had to stop it, “remember how long it took the adults to accept Chomper when he came to the valley.”
“About one Great Circle rise when you and your grandparents started sticking up for him,” Cera parried, “but where are you now? Siding with your new friend instead of sticking up for your old ones.”
Cera had completely caught Littlefoot in a blank. He tried to come up with a response, but he couldn’t. It was true – he should have stuck up for Ruby. He would never forget what it felt like when they lost her in the river – it made him realize just how vulnerable they were. Maybe this adventure wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“Now you apologise to Ruby or we’re not going anywhere,” Cera insisted of Sky. Chomper looked unsure for a moment, but then chose a side.
“Yeah that’s pretty mean, you should say you’re sorry,” the sharptooth suggested. Ruby looked at him direly, as if she didn’t want him getting involved. Sky on the other hand, looked troubled and uncomfortable. He slowly looked over at Ruby, who was pretty distressed about it. The wingtail sighed.
“I’m afraid I cannot.” Sky wasn’t about to apologize for something he wasn’t sorry for. Considering the things he’d seen the jungle runners do, it was perfectly reasonable in his mind to act as he did.
“Then I’m leaving!” snorted Cera, before turning to Littlefoot, “good luck with your new friend. The rest of us can get eaten by sharpteeth for all you care.” And Cera left, charging through a nearby bush on her way.
“Cera wait!” Littlefoot called out, and he moved to go after her. Ruby stopped him.
“I’m thinking that I don’t think it’s a good idea you go, she may be mad at you but she’s not mad at me,” she said as he smiled at Littlefoot, “so I’ll go.”
“Okay, we’ll wait for you then,” agreed Littlefoot.
“Wait for me!” called out Chomper as he ran to catch up with Ruby as she skirted through the bushes. One thing that fast runners were good at – running fast. When the three of them were out of earshot Ali took her chance to speak up.
“I can’t believe her… talking to Sky that way,” Ali fumed, “I’m glad you didn’t cave into that snotty little…”
“Ali,” Littlefoot asserted, “she might have a bit of a temper but she is still our friend. We have to stick together here, instead of tearing each other apart.”
Ali looked a bit ashamed, and decided not to talk about it anymore.
“I do not want to get eated by a sharptooth,” said Ducky to Spike, who nodded in response.
“Me neither… watching them fight make my head hurt,” added Petrie, who had landed on Spike’s back during the argument. Suddenly they heard a loud growl from nearby.
“If you are hungry Spike, you should eat,” suggested Ducky. But Spike wasn’t hungry. He rocked his head back and forth and grunted to say so.
“If that wasn’t Spike, then who-” began Littlefoot, but he didn’t finish the sentence. Sky noticed that the entire woods had gone silent again – this couldn’t be good.
Two fast-biters jumped out of the brush, and one of them screeched and while the other licked his lips. The gang’s reaction was immediate.
“Sharptooth!” Ducky screamed. Ali panicked.
“Littlefoot what do we do?” she asked desperately.
“This way, all of you,” Sky called out, “I have a place we can hide but we have to run!”
A desperate chase ensued.
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“This way… it’s not far,” insisted Sky as he flew over the heads of the remaining members of the gang. He was leading them towards an old system of caverns he knew called the Icy Caves, which lied under the Icy Mountains. These mountains were called this because they were so high up that snow always covered their top reaches. He was hoping that the caves would be unoccupied, and the sharpteeth wouldn’t see them go in there. As it would turn out he was wrong on both accounts.
“I don’t think… I can run…. anymore,” puffed Ali as she breathed hard. They had been running for a while, and the two fast-biters weren’t giving up. They were so fast they were snapping at Spike’s tail, and the only thing that was saving him for the moment was how the two sharpteeth were pushing each other out of the way to get the first bite. Littlefoot got an idea.
“Ali, help me get a hard water ball ready,” he asked.
“What are you talking about?” she inquired, bewildered at the concept. As Littlefoot pushed one together through the snow, Ali finally understood. Together they formed a huge snowball that they could roll down the hill at the sharpteeth. It was a trick they had used before.
“Incoming,” yelled out Littlefoot, and a terrified Spike dodged out of the way just in time. The snowball came down fast, but the fast-biters were faster and managed to dodge it too. They were momentarily distracted though as they landed in the snow and Spike made some ground while they got themselves back together. The Spiketail clamoured his way up the snowy hill until he was on the same level as Littlefoot, Ali, Petrie, Ducky, and Sky and safe from the jaws of death.
…
The wingtail led them into a cave just ahead, and from the darkness inside it led very deeply into the mountain. He was sure they would be safe there. The smaller gang veered through the half lit passageways inside the cave system, and eventually ended up in a large open space with a medium sized hole in the roof where a small beam of sun cast itself onto the floor. Through the middle the cave, a river ran through that was comparable in size to the one in the Great Valley. They were all relieved to be stopping.
“I am glad we got away from those mean sharpteeth, I am,” said Ducky as she eyed the water with longing. It had been a long time since she had had a swim, and now that they were safe she would have the chance.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Sky asserted, and just then the cursed shadow of the sharptooth duo appeared behind them on the cave wall. The wingtail bade them to be quiet with a finger to his mouth, and escorted them into a dark corned to hide. He took up watch himself on a high perched rock near the gap in the ceiling.
Thankfully the sharpteeth couldn’t smell them over the dust in the caves, and sniffed around confused at their new surroundings. Suddenly the Occular began to vibrate once more under Sky’s wing, and he cursed under his breath. The sharpteeth howled in pain as the sound reached their ears, and they rolled on the ground in an attempt to block it out. It was a good thing that sharpteeth ears were more sensitive then leaf-eater ones, as the gang covered their ears to block out the sound. Sky was afraid there might be another earthquake, but this time it didn’t come.
As the sound thankfully faded, the confused and deafened fast biters got up and glanced around in fear. Their instincts told them to leave this place, and they intended to do so as fast as possible. A dark shadow passed over the hole in the roof, but nobody noticed.
“Okay I think we are safe,” Sky called down. A set of hands wrapped themselves around his mouth, and gripped tightly. Sky began to choke in agony.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this,” Glide hissed in his ear. As the rest of the gang watched in horror Glide rammed Sky’s head against the side of the cavern, nearly knocking him out. Ducky screamed.
Not far down the cave the two sharpteeth heard the sound and licked their lips in anticipation. Their prey was here after all – it was feeding time.
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Since I think it would be horrendously cruel to end on this note... i'll have Part VI up for Sunday. It's going to be shorter then the previous five parts but it's also going to wrap up the Act.
Please let me know what you think of the story!
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Good to hear about the additional reviewers. :yes (I got a little worried when it looked as if Sky had stopped reviewing.)
I had guessed that your explanation for Sky’s indifference towards Ruby would involve fast runners being egg thieves, but given to how much he trusts and favors Littlefoot, I still don’t think he’s giving Ruby (being a friend of Littlefoot’s) enough credit. (This is just another of my immediate emotional reactions, however; as feedback goes, it's neither positive nor negative. :p)
There was one part of this chapter I did have something of a problem with: Ali’s reaction to Cera’s yelling at Sky for his behavior towards Ruby, and subsequent declaration that she is leaving the group. What Ali said afterwards seemed remarkably out of character for her. I know Sky’s her friend, but her friendship with Cera goes back a lot longer, and as far as Cera’s outbursts go, she had fairly good reason for this one, so I would have expected Ali to be more understanding.
Oh, also, I hate to say it, but there’s a typographical error in this chapter:
“Ewe this is disgusting,” commented Cera.
That word should be spelled “Eew”. :p
Can’t wait for Sunday. :smile
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What I'm trying (keyword trying lol) to get across about Ali is that she has grown up quite a bit since they last adventured with her in Land Before Time IV. She made a brief visit in the cartoon series, and demonstrated her ability to abandon past friends in favour of new ones.
How Ali took to Sky is a story in itself, but she loves him as much as Littlefoot does because to her he is that "cool" adult figure that she doesn't have in her life. Most people can name an uncle or someone in their family they like hanging out with apart from their parents - and since Ali no longer has a father she has become attached to Sky.
So attached that when Cera assaults Sky over something so trivial as "being rude" she gets pretty mad about it, but does not express it outright until Cera is gone.
Something I'm trying to do as the story goes on (to preserve interest and to characterize the main characters) is to have a network of different relationships between gang members going on. For instance, in the TV series Littlefoot and Ruby occupy more or less the same niche in the gang (voice of reason, positive, leaderlike qualities) so to keep them unique characters, I had Sky react to each of them very differently. If Sky liked both Ruby and Littlefoot, they wouldn't be as distinguishable as seperate characters.
I hope this explains things a bit, its a lot more then I usually like to reveal for fear of giving things away. :lol
Caustizer.
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Okay. I suppose that makes sense. Most LBT fans just dislike Ali's change between movie IV and the TV series so much that they are reluctant to regard her second appearance as canon, and expect fanfiction versions of Ali to be based on her first appearance. (It would appear that I'm one of those fans. :p)
I also completely understand the need for diverse relationships between Sky and members of the gang. I just feel sorry for Ruby. :p
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Part VI:
“Sky, Sky!” called out Ali desperately as the wingtail struggled to get free of Glide’s grip. The two of them were grappling on the top level of the cavern beyond sight of the gang, so they could only hope for the best. Bigger problems awaited them on their level.
“The Sharpteeth, they are coming back!” yelled Ducky. Littlefoot shushed her.
“Quiet Ducky, they don’t know where we are yet. If we keep our heads down, they might go right past.” Littlefoot risked a peak around the rock, only to see both fast-biters sitting there staring at him. They knew where they were alright.
“RUN!” hollered Littlefoot, and the group of them had to dodge a pair of snapping jaws. One of them went for Ali, but his leap fell short and he landed on his chest. The sharptooth glared up and her and snarled, revealing rows of pointed teeth. Ali screamed.
“Down here, we can lose them in the river,” declared Littlefoot and he jumped into the fast flowing water in the centre of the cave. Having just avoided death, Ali leaped in after him. Both were carried out of the cave.
“But Spike cannot swim, he can’t!” called out Ducky but the two longnecks were already gone. Spike stepped back from the rapids, and the sharpteeth closed in for the kill.
“Jump Spike, jump!” cried Ducky, and she dove into the water. Her brother didn’t need to be told twice, and came in after her just as one of the fast-biters snapped where his tail had been.
…
“I always wondered what my sister saw in you,” taunted Glide as he held Sky by the throat against the wall. The blue wingtail was nearly choking. “But now I think I know… she saw how desperate and pathetic you were.”
Sky’s glare was a mixture of hate and indignity.
“But you’re lucky this time… I’m not here to kill you.” Glide said as he released Sky. The blue wingtail wheezed as he caught his breath. Glide extended his hand. “Give it to me and I’ll let you live.”
Sky removed the Occular from the inside of his wing, and held it up into the sunlight that illuminated this part of the cave. It shone so brightly, so beautifully that Glide couldn’t take his eyes off it. Such an object would be the head of his collection – he could just return home and tell the elders it had been lost, while keeping it for himself. Sky recognized the lust in Glide’s expression, and decided to gibe him.
“You want it, go get it.”
And Sky flung it across the cavern like a prehistoric Frisbee. Thankfully it was of sturdy construction, and as it clanked off the walls a shower of sparks were cast onto the floor. The Occular rang as it rolled along the floor and came to rest at the feet of the two sharpteeth.
“I’ll be back for you,” hissed Glide as he took off away from the ledge to retrieve the eyeglass.
The two fast-biters looked at each other in amazement. King Tyron had proclaimed a bounty on an object, an object described to be just like this one. It was the same shape as the Great Circle, it was clear like the air, and it shone brightly when hit by the day’s light. The bounty was position of honour next to the massive sharptooth, right at the shoulder were the best meat of the kill was. This was far more important then a few scrawny children, for if they brought this back they would be set for life. The smaller of the two fast-biters had barely picked it up in his claws when Glide was on him in a flurry of talons and feathers.
Sky composed himself as the horrible screeching and hissing of the fight between the sharpteeth and the black wingtail rang throughout of the cavern. He checked his throat to make sure it wasn’t bleeding, and then felt his head. There was a nasty bump on there, but nothing that time wouldn’t fix. He noticed Petrie roosting on the other side of the cavern, shaking in fear.
“Petrie, get the Occular! Hurry before they notice you,” Sky asked desperately.
“But me so scared,” cried Petrie.
“Be brave Petrie, It’s now or never.”
The young flyer looked down at the chaos at the bottom of the cavern. It was horrible to watch as Glide, covered in blood from numerous bites, shattered one of the fast-biter’s jaws with a blow to his neck joint. Through all this, the Occular was lying undisturbed. Now was his chance - with a quick dive Petrie slipped down and grabbed the eyeglass with his talons.
“Me got it, me got it!” he announced. Unfortunately, Glide turned at him with a menacing glare. It was not unlike the look a sharptooth gives his trapped prey. Petrie’s courage suddenly vanished, and he started to panic in the air.
Sky caught him just in time, as Glide snapped at the small flyer with his deadly jaws. With a whoosh of air Sky’s foot connected with Glide’s nose, and the black wingtail was forced back onto the ground.
“Hang on Petrie, I think we’re in for a turbulent ride,” said Sky as he briefly looked down at the shivering flyer. Petrie didn’t have time to respond before the two of them plunged into the river, and were carried down into small exit hole.
“I’ll get you Sky!” cried Glide just before they were out of earshot.
In his rage the black wingtail turned to the last remaining sharptooth, who was slightly smaller then he was. Sharpteeth were in general not very smart, but they did know when to run, and with his partner dying and a mad-killer bird looking him in the eye this was one of those times. With a yelp of fear the fast-biter dashed out of the cave, leaving Glide alone with the remaining sharptooth.
As Glide approached him the fast-biter whined in pain, hoping for mercy. Glide was mad, but in this case it simply wasn’t worth the effort. Glide snuffed loudly and spat on him, before leaving the cave to lick his wounds.
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“Ruby wait, wait!” called out Chomper as he chased the fast-runner into the woods. They were both chasing after Cera, but Ruby was a lot faster then he was. It was times like this that he wished he had longer legs. Eventually he caught up to Ruby, who had stopped in a clearing.
“You run too fast for me,” Chomper laughed as he bent over to catch his breath. He looked up at Ruby, who looked very concerned and had her hand over her mouth.
“What is it?” Chomper asked. He found out when he too spied Cera sitting in the middle of the field in front of them, and she was crying. Chomper echoed Ruby’s look, and kept silent. After a minute Ruby finally decided to ask her what was wrong.
“Hey Cera, every moment your sad is a moment your not happy,” she said positively.
“Go away,” sobbed Cera, and she turned away from them.
“Cera, did we make you sad?” asked Chomper sincerely as he padded up and sat next to Cera. She peered down at the tiny sharptooth, and decided to confide in him.
“It’s Littlefoot… I hate it when he does these things.”
“But what does he do?” asked Ruby in confusion.
“He’s our best friend one day… then next thing you know some scrawny longneck or stuck up bird comes along and he doesn’t have any time for us anymore.” Cera responded, and wiped the tears off her face. It was embarrassing for her to be like this.
“Thanks for being mad for me though Cera, even when I didn’t know I was mad myself,” thanked Ruby as she put a hand on Cera’s shoulder.
“Your welcome,” responded Cera politely. She smiled as she saw both Chomper and Ruby sitting next to her, trying to make her feel better. It was nice to have such good friends.
“But maybe your being too hard on Littlefoot, after all he didn’t really know how Sky was so bad to Ruby,” Chomper suggested.
“Maybe,” admitted Cera, “but sometimes he misses things, things that are so obvious I just want to yell it in his face. Like when he dragged us along with those yellow bellies when they could’ve taken care of themselves.”
Chomper and Ruby didn’t know what she was talking about – it must have happened before they came to the valley. Cera moved on.
“And another time, he left us all in the valley just because of some stupid sleep story,” Cera complained, “When he does these things… it just makes me wanna scream!”
“That’s exactly what we wanted to hear,” came a cold voice from behind them.
All three of them turned to see two large wingtails, one a navy blue and the other a heavy shade of green. Chomper growled, he could tell these were not good flyers.
“What do you want?” asked Cera insultingly.
“To hear you scream of course,” said the green wingtail, “we would be… honoured.”
“Cera, I don’t like this… we should go,” suggested Ruby.
“Please, stay and show us just how vocal you are,” asked the navy blue wingtail, “We happen to be experts in the field of… sound.”
“You wanna hear me scream I’d be happy too,” Cera said, and she turned and yelled back into the woods, “Littlefoot if you can hear me I’m not coming back!”
The two wingtails looked at each other, and came to a silent agreement.
“It would be best for you to come with us,” the green one said.
“I insist,” added the navy blue one.
“And what if I say no?” asked Cera, who was still mad.
“That would be… unwise.”
The two wingtails swooped forward and grabbed her by her front legs. The burst of wind distracted Ruby and Chomper, who covered their faces and stepped back.
“Ruby, Chomper, help me!” cried Cera, but she was gone faster then they could even attempt to rescue her.
“Cera!” called out Chomper, but she was already over the trees and gone, “Cera…” he echoed sadly.
Carrying the threehorn in tow, Eybron’s sentinels made their way back to the Sonicron and the cave where they took the rest of the children they had kidnapped. Soon she would join them to institute the greatest act of art the world had ever know, but to Ruby and Chomper Cera was gone.
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Prince Tyrus licked his lips to remove the excess blood he had got on them while he had been feeding. The gold sharptooth stopped by a stream to take a drink, and admire his own reflection. His father Tyron had often told him of how perfect he was, both in appearance and in his hunting skills, and had even given him a group of his own sharpteeth to do with as he saw fit. They were his guards and hunters, but they were also scavengers who pecked off his kills and left nothing for him to snack on later. Tyrus had pondered killing them for a while, but what would a Prince be without a royal escort to bully any local predators into submission? He wouldn’t be a Prince.
“My Prince,” bowed Redgar, the leader of this pack, “we have found one of the locals who believes he has something of interest to you.”
“Really? Does he know not to disturb me while I’m tending to myself, because apparently you do not.”
It was not an idle threat, and Redgar backed down in fear. The fast-biter was strong and brave, but in the face of the son of the King of Sharpteeth he had to pay his respects, not to mention know his limits. Tyrus was rumoured to be a cold killer just like his father when provoked.
“It was quite important; he claimed to have seen the object the King desires.”
Now that was important alright. Sharpteeth generally valued nothing but the flesh of those they killed, and even then only as long as it remained in their stomachs, but the Occular was different. The sharpteeth called it the Stone of Seeing, as was rumoured to correct even the worst of vision when one looked through it. Tyron had been given it as tribute from the carnivorous birds for allowing them to feed on his blessings, and he used it to correct his near blindness by placing it in his left eye.
Tyrus had been told that when he was born, he killed and ate all of his brothers and sisters for food – an action that pleased his father. As a gift Tyron gave him the Occular so that when he was older he could see beyond the horizon too, and up until the day it was stolen he relished the possibility of having vision as keen as a bird’s.
…
Tyrus’ escort had formed a circle around the small fast-biter, and were bullying him as if he had been folly to attempt to come before the Prince of Sharpteeth. They hit him, pushed him, and taunted him until he just lied on the ground in submission, wishing he was somewhere else.
“What’s the matter little-biter, you scared?” taunted a much larger fast-biter, “you’re a little cowardly runt who deserves to be put down like the rest of these leaf-lickers.”
Another one of the group kicked him from behind, and the newcomer just whimpered. Redgar entered the circle, and snarled for them to back off. They obeyed.
“The Prince has arrived, to receive your message.” He told the little fast-biter, “and for the sake of your life I hope it is worth his time.”
The ground shook as Prince Tyrus entered the clearing and growled. The circle backed up more, to make room for their master. His red eyes glowed with a hum of an ancient instinct to kill his prey, but he stayed his wraith to hear what the messenger had come to say.
The little fast-biter stuttered and stammered in terror, unable to compose himself. Tyrus was the scariest predator he had ever laid his eyes on; the rumours about him were true. It was a mistake to come here, a mistake that was about to cost him his life.
“What’s the matter… longneck got your tongue?” chided the larger fast-biter who was bullying him. A slow rotation of Tyrus’ head in his direction shut him up real fast. The little-biter suddenly found the words to speak.
“M-my Prince, I saw the object your father desires, in the caves.” He said timidly, as cold sweat began running down his scales, “it looked just like how it was described, it was the shape of the Great Circle, it was clear as the air, and it shone in its light… I swear it’s true!”
“Well know that wasn’t too hard now was it, worthless rat,” taunted the large fast-biter as he stepped forward and kicked the messenger down onto the ground.
“Indeed,” Prince Tyrus said, and it was that one word which resonated all his power and strength to everyone around, before he commanded, “you will take us to it.”
“Yes my Prince,” the little fast-biter replied, “but I can’t make the journey… I haven’t eaten in days.” It had been a limb he was going out on, but now that he knew he was needed he didn’t need to be afraid of being killed anymore. It was time to see if there really was a reward in this for him.
“You think your any different then the rest of us!” yelled the large fast-biter who had been tormenting him. It was the last mistake he would ever make. In move more sudden then lightning Tyrus snapped the fast-biter up in his jaws and broke every bone in his body. The bully screeched in pain, but in a few seconds the life simply left him. Satisfied he had achieved his goal, Tyrus snorted and threw the corpse down in front of the messenger.
“Enjoy your meal,” the sharptooth offered, before motioning the rest to follow him. They obeyed of course, for none of them wanted to die.
The insult that had been paid to Tyron and his family when the Occular had been stolen was like nothing ever to come before. They had gotten revenge on the birds of course, tearing down their nests and killing them in their sleep, but it was not enough. The Occular needed to be returned to the royalty with which it belonged, and the thief made to suffer for his actions. Prince Tyrus took this task upon himself, and as he smashed his way through the forest he snarled his intent to avenge his father’s dishonour.
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(End of Act I)
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What the?! They took Cera! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That's it! Lemme at 'em! Ima whip out the frya' n' cook those geese, I mean, wingtails! If those wingtails hurt her or anyone else, they outta be sharptooth bait <_<!
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What the?! They took Cera! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That's it! Lemme at 'em! Ima whip out the frya' n' cook those geese, I mean, wingtails! If those wingtails hurt her or anyone else, they outta be sharptooth bait <_<!
Lol there is a double irony in your statements... I won't spoil it now but you will see it as the story unfolds.
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Since I think it would be horrendously cruel to end on this note... i'll have Part VI up for Sunday. It's going to be shorter then the previous five parts but it's also going to wrap up the Act.
That was pretty long for a short chapter. :p Not that I'm complaining; this is actually one of my favorites so far. :yes
There are two things I particularly commend you for. The first is daring to show Cera crying (something she almost never seen doing, in movies or fanfics, even though we know she is capable of it). The second is your reminder, as expressed by Cera, that Littlefoot is not perfect. As much as I love Littlefoot, I often feel that it is not indicated often enough that he has flaws just like any other character. Because his shortcomings are not as emphasized as those of the other characters in the movies and TV series, they are relatively easily overlooked by fanfic writers, resulting in his all-too-common portrayal as an individual with no faults besides occasional disobedience of his elders. (To be honest, I was afraid for a while there that you were doing exactly that in this story. :p)
The one part of this chapter I really didn’t care for was the “royal” fast biters’ belittling of the small fast biter that escaped from Glide. Their choice of disparaging remarks just sounded corny to me, particularly the insult of “worthless rat”. Not only do I doubt that such a term would be present in the LBT dinosaurs’ vocabulary (even as far as sharpteeth are concerned), but technically, rats didn’t even exist in the Mesozoic era; true rodents did not appear until after the extinction of the dinosaurs.
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The one part of this chapter I really didn’t care for was the “royal” fast biters’ belittling of the small fast biter that escaped from Glide. Their choice of disparaging remarks just sounded corny to me, particularly the insult of “worthless rat”. Not only do I doubt that such a term would be present in the LBT dinosaurs’ vocabulary (even as far as sharpteeth are concerned), but technically, rats didn’t even exist in the Mesozoic era; true rodents did not appear until after the extinction of the dinosaurs.
That scene bothered me too... I felt like I rushed it and that I didn't get the proper point across.
You see I noticed right away that it was going awfully cliche (royalty is something that has been around in animal kingdom stories for a long long time) when my original intent was to state the status of "Tyron" and his son "Tyrus" to justify the resources they put into hunting the gang. It also justifies Eybron's hate of Tyron as well, because the "hero" of the wingtails experienced the brutality Tyron used to subjigate leaf-eaters into his domains. The sharptooth is at best compared to a tyrannical king, so it's how he got his name.
When the fast-biters were beating on the lesser one though the reason they called him a "rat" was because they didn't know why he was there, and the best reason they could think of for a local coming to them was to snitch on somebody else. That and they also wanted to impress their superiority on the sharpteeth who weren't part of Tyron's crew, so the tyrant could convince more of them to join his ranks. This is similar to how the Nazis worked in the 1930s, gathering support by demonstrating their might to the populace.
I plan to give readers more insight into Tyron and his offspring in Act II, to bring him out of the kingly cliche.
Caustizer.
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Act 2: The Tyrant King's Wraith
Prologue:
“Tyrus and his father Tyron were self proclaimed royalty… they believed that they were superior to all other sharpteeth, and in some ways they were,” began the older Sky as he spoke to the gathered circle of children, “Tyron’s empire began with but a single thought… a thought which turned into an idea, and then it eventually manifested itself into an ideology.”
The children looked at him like he was actually speaking sharptooth, and even some of the adults looked lost. In the hours of the night since Mr. Sky had begun his story a crowd had gathered the likes of which he had never had before, and it pleased him that the spirit of story-speaking was still alive and well in the valley. Ever since Grandpa Longneck died, many feared that it was an art that would be lost. But as fate would have it, Mr. Sky happened to be very exceptional in the field of ëart’ and a lively replacement.
“What are you talking about?” asked a much older Cera, “remember we all don’t speak the way you do…”
“Ah, point taken,” submitted Sky as he waved a finger, and then he continued, “It is common knowledge that Sharpteeth are not as smart as you leaf-eaters as well as those who have a choice, like me and Ruby here,” he pointed to the fast-runner, who smiled back. The two of them had long gotten over the rift that laid between them, and were now best of friends.
“But it is believed that one day, in the distant past, Tyron was hungry and after going for many days without eating, he finally felled another dinosaur. Upon finishing his meal the sharptooth decided that he did not want to be that hungry ever again – a conclusion that most sharpteeth never reach. He began to hunt all the time, even when he wasn’t hungry, and he stored away his kills in a cold, damp cave to be eaten later.”
Some of the children were shivering, even the brave Xavier, for sharptooth stories were often scary and tended to cause nightmares. Sky continued.
“Eventually he attracted other lesser sharpteeth to his cause – sharpteeth such as fast-biters, sickle claws, and spine backs. They wanted a piece of the products of his hunt, and in turn he enjoyed their company as servants and they split the kills and divided the meat amongst themselves. This was certainly not done out of kindness however, but to expand his influence to the point where he could take on whole herds and win, and achieve a unity between sharpteeth that had never been seen before in the world.”
Sky resettled his wings as he finished, and there were whisperings among those gathered about what his story meant. If the sharpteeth ever united like that again, it would surely mean the end of the Great Valley. Xavier shivered at the thought, for he had heard his father’s tales about sharpteeth, and they terrified him. Unlike his father, the young longneck had never come face to face with a real sharptooth. Coming upon the thought made him wonder about a particular story his dad had once told him, and he decided to ask about it.
“Mr Sky. what happened to the friendly sharptooth, you know the one daddy hatched and named Chompy?”
Littlefoot and the other members of the old gang present laughed at his mistaking of Chomper’s name. Sometimes the story was changed to be more appealing to kids as it passed from parent to parent, so all of their offspring carried different versions of it.
“Don’t you mean Biter?” Wayne corrected.
“Oh no it was Sharpie, it was, it was!” called out Aura, one of Ducky’s daughters.
“Whatever, who cares what his name was… just tell us the story already!” Landar said bluntly as he munched on a handful of bugs he picked out of the tree. The loud crunching noise was grossing out some of the other younglings around Guido’s son, and so he had plenty of space to himself. Littlefoot laughed.
“I see that story has been told more then just a few times,” said the older longneck, “I’m glad that everyone has decided to remember Chomper for what he was, and not what he has become.”
Xavier had been resting on his father’s front arm, and looked up at him in surprise at the statement.
“What do you mean dad? What did he become?” the young blue longneck asked.
“Perhaps we should let Mr. Sky tell us… provided he would like to continue,” Littlefoot suggested with a smile.
“Yeah, tell us what happened to Chompy… I mean Chomper!” Xavier insisted. The rest of the children echoed his desire. Mr. Sky looked around in amusement… there were so many parents present he wondered whether he was teaching the children or the whole valley.
“Very well, see after the Eye of the World…” Sky began.
“Hold it!” boomed a longneck from the far back. Everyone turned to see Ali pushing her way through the trees, and man did she look mad.
“Oh hi my lovely, umm… out so late?” Littlefoot stammered as he tried to make the best of the situation. It didn’t work.
“You should be ashamed of yourself Littlefoot, letting these children stay up so late past Great Circle set… and that goes for the rest of you too!” Ali turned on the crowd which included the male parents of just about every one of the present children. Sometimes Ali wondered what would become of the world if it wasn’t for moms.
“Come on Wayne, Ali’s right I should have never let you stay up so late,” Cera said as she ushered along her son. Soon it was only Littlefoot, Ali, Xavier and Sky left.
“But, but… you can’t just stop now! You haven’t even told us anything yet… what about the Eye of the World… what is it? ... and the Black Dawn, what was it and why was it so bad? Did you and Star ever meet again?”
The young longneck was so full of questions, he was almost bursting. Littlefoot smiled proudly at his son. The little one had turned out just like he was when he was a kid. Maybe Xavier would have as many adventures as he did in his youth, but Littlefoot doubted it. He would never allow it, for one. It was ludicrously dangerous when he did it – so there was no way he was ever going to risk his only son by letting him off on his own.
“You can find out tomorrow Xavier,” chided his mother, “there’s plenty of time for stories some other night.”
“But mom…” Xavier whined, but he obeyed and moved to follow his parents. Halfway out of the circle with the Glowing Cracks he turned and asked another question.
“Please Mr. Sky, can you at least tell me something?” the longneck begged.
“Very well,” the wingtail said, and he cleared his throat, “Star and I did meet again… but like all good memories it was too short to last.”
Satisfied, Xavier ran to catch up to his parents. Mr. Sky stretched briefly, and in a whoosh of air he was gone into the trees.
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“I’m glad that everyone has decided to remember Chomper for what he was, and not what he has become.”
Aww... :( does this mean that even after all he's been through with the gang, Chomper's become a bad guy anyway? (I suppose maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, seeing as you haven't actually said what's happened to him yet, but still...)
I also don't like Sky's statement that sharpteeth aren't as smart as leafeaters. (I would have thoughtóeven based only on observations of the sharptooth characters in your previous fanficóthat their intellectual range is more or less the same as that of leafeaters.)
Please excuse my overwhelming negativity here; the prologue is very well written, but it just happens to suffer the misfortune of containing two points that I personally find disagreeable. If it helps, I like the explanation of Tyron's "royal" status among the sharpteeth. It makes sense, and is immensely helpful in downgrading the "kingly clichÈ" you mentioned before.
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Aww, that was a short one... well, it was the prologue after all. :)
Anyway, it's nice to see other dinosaurs and some of the gang members gather for Sky's story. :)
Heh, makes me wonder what happened to our friendly sharptooth...
Well, there is nothing more I can say, we now know how the sharpeeth were united and our lovely Ali interrupted the story. She's such a caring mother. :lol
Guess I have to wait until the next chapter is up. Keep it up. ;)
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Aww... :( does this mean that even after all he's been through with the gang, Chomper's become a bad guy anyway? (I suppose maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, seeing as you haven't actually said what's happened to him yet, but still...)
Chomper does not become evil, rather Littlefoot does not truely understand why Chomper did what he did at the end of the story. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say that you can trust the plans I have for him.
I also don't like Sky's statement that sharpteeth aren't as smart as leafeaters. (I would have thoughtóeven based only on observations of the sharptooth characters in your previous fanficóthat their intellectual range is more or less the same as that of leafeaters.)
This was a lie Sky told the children to keep them from being truely afraid of sharpteeth. If he told them the truth, they would probably have nightmares and the parents would get angry. His goal is to entertain them with his tales, not to scare them by being truthful and correct. Such is the choice of the storyteller :p
...
I've noticed that you are liking this story less and less as I continue to write it up (every chapter is pre-planned, I'm just typing it into being every week). Are you finding Far Away Home to be too dark for your liking Pangaea?
Or perhaps it's just my bad habit of keeping all these plot points secret to dump them all on you all at once at the end :lol
Caustizer.
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I've noticed that you are liking this story less and less as I continue to write it up (every chapter is pre-planned, I'm just typing it into being every week). Are you finding Far Away Home to be too dark for your liking Pangaea?
It IS a bit darker than I generally like my LBT fanfics, and some of the less LBT-ish elements I'm not too big on either, but believe me; I'm still enjoying it immensely. My apparent dwindling fondness for the story is probably due largely to the fact that my reviews lately have been mostly comprised of my personal emotional reactions to parts of each chapter. I suppose because it's intended to be a dark story, my reactions are correspondingly dark. :p
Or perhaps it's just my bad habit of keeping all these plot points secret to dump them all on you all at once at the end :lol
That may have something to do with it, too. :p (It's not a bad habit either; I LIKE stories with twists and secrets in them.) The fact that I am uninformed as to what will happen next in the story (I wouldn't want it any other way ;)), means that my reactions to less-than-favorable plot developments are almost invariably presuppositional, and usually reflect whatever rating on the positiveness scale those events would immediately implicate, even if they are resolved in the end.
In any case, since I decided to cut spellchecking out of my reviews, they've come to consist almost entirely of my personal opinions. I can't offer recommendations for the story, seeing as you already have the whole thing planned out. And frankly, your entire fanfic is so well written that it's kind of redundant to mention that as a positive point every time I leave feedback. Plus, I imagine that it would become irritatingly repetitive if I simply uttered the (however true) statement, "This was a great chapter! I can't wait for the next one!" in every review. So what's a reviewer to do? If you'd rather I exclude my less positive reactions from my reviews, and focus only on the parts I liked, I can do that, but my reviews will probably be much shorter and less substantial.
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Part I:
It was the entire day before the youngsters would attend another one of Sky’s classes, as from the moment they woke up it was Grandpa Threehorn’s turn, and this time he would be teaching them how to react in event of a sharptooth attack. Xavier thought it would be exciting, or at least informative, but it turned out to be neither of those things. The lesson started off fine until Wayne asked an important question,
“Grandpa Topsy, have you ever seen a sharptooth before?” the dark grey threehorn inquired as he walked beside his grandfather.
“Huh, well of course I have! Back in my day the sharpteeth were a lot bigger and stronger then they are now… but they still stood no chance against a threehorn,” Topsy replied.
After that he started telling stories about the various sharpteeth he’d beaten over the years, but he bragged so much it got boring very quickly. A longneck, a fourwing, a swimmer, a spiketail and a flyer weren’t interested in hearing about how great threehorns were – again.
…
Later that night the children gathered by the glowing cracks, each assuming their usual position for Mr. Sky’s session. After Grandpa Threehorn mercifully released them they had played the pointy seed game for the rest of the afternoon, so they were understandably tired. Some of them, like Wayne, were laying there with their eyes closed, practically sleeping. Xavier wasn’t the least bit tired.
“Where’s Mr. Sky?” the longneck inquired impatiently as he looked around the sky, “the Great Circle has gone down already!”
Nincea shrugged, and Spike’s daughter Kala just laid there in disinterest. Like her father she appeared to be simple, craving food and sleep along with the company of friends, but unlike him she had learned to speak at a relatively young age. Her preference was to remain silent in most cases, which hid how smart she actually was.
“He’s probably just late,” suggested Wayne, “unlike my Grandpa – threehorns are never late.”
Xavier rolled his eyes.
“Mr. Sky will not be joining us tonight,” proclaimed Ruby as she stepped out of the bushes, “and since he’s not coming, I’m coming instead.” The fastrunner smiled.
“Are you going to continue his story, are you going to tell us what happened to Chomper?” Xavier asked eagerly.
“Of course, after we came home Chomper chose not to come with us… I knew he wanted to be with his own kind, and an opportunity arose for it to happen,” Ruby explained, “I knew I had to let him go but… Oh what am I doing, I don’t want to tell you what happened before I get the chance to tell you!” The fastrunner rubbed the longneck’s head affectionately.
It was good that Ruby believed in keeping secrets a bit less then Sky did, but it also made her stories a lot less thrilling… she always ended up giving away the ending!
“After Cera was kidnapped by that group of wingtails, Chomper and I…”
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“They took Cera, what are we going to do?” Chomper asked frantically. He paced around in circles, unsure what to do next.
“I don’t know, but certainly can’t go back and say we lost Cera,” Ruby said as she thought about what to do, tapping her finger on the side of her face.
The terrain was fairly beautiful around them, with a few groups of trees here and there amongst the high mountain grasses and hilly bluffs. Very close to where Ruby and Chomper sat deliberating their situation the ground caved into a dry ravine, which was on the edge of the Sharptooth Wastes. It was a common travelling route, both for herds of farwalkers and also for the packs of sharpteeth that hunted them. Neither one of them – even Ruby – had ever been this far into the Mysterious Beyond before so there were no landmarks to guide them, and above all nobody they knew who could help them. Not only did they lose Cera, but they were also thoroughly lost themselves.
“Say… where are we?” Chomper gasped in awe as he realized for the first time how unfamiliar their surroundings were. The plants looked different, the air smelt different, and even the wind seemed a little colder then he was used to.
“Well, we have a choice to make Chomper,” concluded Ruby, “we can go back and look for Littlefoot and the others, or we can go back and get back Cera.”
Chomper sweated the decision… he didn’t know what to do. If they went back, they might never find Cera again, yet if they didn’t go back Littlefoot would never know what happened to them. It was a big dilemma, and time was of the essence. They had to decide quickly.
“Umm, I think we should… hey what is that?” Chomper said.
“What do you mean what is that, I just told you what that was!” Ruby stated impatiently.
“No… that!”
Chomper pointed towards the forest, and Ruby heard a deep rumble followed by crashing noises. The sound was getting closer.
“I don’t like the sound of that,” Ruby said nervously, and all of a sudden the massive form of Prince Tyrus burst through the bushes and stomped towards the group of younglings.
“I don’t like the look of that!” added Chomper, and they cowered in fear. Tyrus halted in front of them and raised an eyebrow. What were two small sharpteeth doing wandering alone in the wilderness… they looked barely old enough to emerge from the nest. It didn’t matter; he had no time for this. There were more important things to do.
“Little ones who wander too far from the nest become prey,” Tyrus said coldly, “If that is not a fate you desire then you will return to your nests. There are far less noble sharpteeth in these wastes.”
Tyrus snorted, and then proceeded on his way. Behind him emerged a large group of fast-biters, but they paid Ruby and Chomper no mind. With one of Tyron’s food caves nearby, there was no need to hunt – and besides that, there was hardly any meat on them to begin with. Spreading out into the woods behind their master, the group of fast-biters vanished into the brush as fast as they had came, leaving Ruby and Chomper alone again.
“Who was that?” questioned Chomper.
“A nicer sharptooth then usual, but not as nice as you,” Ruby pat him on the head and laughed, “and I don’t think we can return to our nests either… seeing as our nests are too far away to return to.”
“Okay,” agreed Chomper, “So I guess this means we are going after Cera.”
“We forgot about Littlefoot, the sharptooth is heading right for him!” Ruby gasped in horror.
“He can take care of himself; we’ve taken on mean sharpteeth before.”
“I hope so Chomper, I hope so,” Ruby finished, but she didn’t look comfortable with it at all.
Littlefoot and the others were their friends, it would be careless and cruel just abandon them to their fate. Ruby knew if she was in danger, Littlefoot wouldn’t hesitate to help her. Last time she needed help she was dangling off a cliff, struggling for her life. Littlefoot reached down to her, risking his own life, but didn’t make it in time. She fell, and didn’t remember much after that. Thinking back, she was lucky to survive.
On the other hand, they were lucky to not have been eaten by that strange sharptooth and his fast-biters. If they followed them the group could decide that they were hungry after all and attack. The last thing Ruby needed was to put Chomper’s life in needless danger after she swore to his parents to protect him.
“Come on, let’s go find Cera,” she added unenthusiastically,
“Alright,” cried Chomper, “We’re gonna track down those fliers and make them give back our friend!”
…
With Ruby in the lead, the two of them made their way along the rocky ground of the Sharptooth Wastes. The sun was a dull tan as it cast its withering heat rays upon them, drying up everything in sight. It was a wonder that anything could survive out here.
“Oh, I’m so hungry!” moaned Chomper, “I could eat a whole longneck… not that I would.”
“I’m hungry too… let’s go find a watering place and I can catch us some water swimmers!”
“That would be delicious,” Chomper said as he licked his lips.
Just the thought of eating one of those brown fish again made him salivate. When Ruby and he first met, just after his parents left the island, he hadn’t eaten for days and she caught him a meal. He wasn’t all that nice to her either, so he probably didn’t deserve what she did for him. Ruby was so kind to everyone, including him, that he had actually started to think of her as his mom. It was strange, but apart from the rest of the gang nobody seemed to understand him like she did.
The pair walked on through the blistering heat and endless rocky desert, and as the hours passed they got hotter, dirtier, and hungrier. After a while Chomper smelt water and so they pushed on, following his sniffer. They came to a dead end, right on the edge of a sheer cliff.
“Awe man… the river is so far down!” complained Chomper.
Farwalker Gorge was called so because it was a notable landmark for farwalkers, a river embedded deep in the earth that snaked its way through a wasteland full of nothing. Once a herd found a way down to the large river at the bottom of the canyon, it could rest for a while and recharge its energy before moving on. Looking down the ridge, it was at least a 100 feet to the bottom. Ruby began to shake.
“What’s wrong Ruby?” Chomper asked.
“Let’s get out of here… I don’t like it here.” Ruby replied nervously. She had never truly got over the incident in the Whispering Gorge, when she fell nearly to her death following an earthshake. She didn’t remember hitting the water, but she did remember screaming and falling. It still gave her nightmares.
“But there’s water down there, and food! We can’t go back,” insisted Chomper.
Ruby looked out over the edge again, and gulped nervously. Unfortunately Chomper was right, they didn’t have a choice. Looks like she would have to face her fears and climb down. She closed her eyes and proceeded slowly after Chomper.
…
The descent was a slow, but relatively even one. A small path used by the local creatures (they could tell by the footprints) lead right down to the water, and it was relatively safe. Chomper went first and Ruby followed timidly behind, careful not to look down and trigger the vertigo again. When they reached the bottom, she breathed a sigh of relief.
“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Chomper said reassuringly, smiling at her.
“Yes, but I’d prefer not to do that again… I don’t like high places,” Ruby said worriedly.
“Well what are you waiting for,” Chomper cried excitedly as he waved her to follow, “let’s go eat!”
Ruby dove into the gently flowing water, and within an hour she had caught a whole assortment of fish. Chomper gobbled them up eagerly, and soon there was a pile of fish bones all around him. Ruby popped up with another fish in her mouth, and spit it onto the rocky shore.
“Okay, let’s divide them up evenly, so we all get to eat!” Ruby proclaimed, before seeing that Chomper had already eaten practically everything she caught. She glared at him.
“Opps,” said Chomper, and he burped. Ruby smiled and chuckled.
“It’s okay… I can have some green food.”
Ruby had a weird habit of looking a lot angrier then she actually was. Apart from the day the domeheads stole Ducky’s food, Chomper had never seen her really get angry about anything. It made her very pleasant to be around.
As the Great Circle set in the distant horizon Ruby and Chomper rested on the banks of the river, weary from the events of the day and fully nourished. For Chomper it was a bit of a shock going from hungry all the time to suddenly full. Now he no longer had anything to do, so he just lied on the rocks enjoying their warmth.
“Let’s go Chomper, we better find ourselves some place safe to stay tonight. Who knows what else is out here to eat us in the dark,” Ruby suggested.
“Oh alright…” mumbled Chomper lazily.
With nothing but the sound of the moving river beside them, Ruby and Chomper carried on up the Farwalker Gorge and into the unknown.
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The night was still young as Star made her way back to the family tree, but she was tired and it had been a long day. Her class was progressing nicely, and some looked like they were really enjoying themselves. It was very fulfilling to know that someday they might grow up to be Creators just like her – and leave their mark in their history like their ancestors did before them.
The family tree was located in the far north of the Feral Forest; the willow had stood for hundreds of years, and had been their home for many generations. It did not stand out against the sea of other similar trees in this part of the woods, but to Star it was everything. After all she was born and raised here, and until her parents died she had lived here with them and her brother. They shared the tree with other members of the gene pool as well – notably her uncle Sturgeon and aunt Fliela. Sturgeon was related by blood to her and Glide, and was an important figure in their upbringing. If there was one wingtail in the world that Glide respected apart from her, it was Sturgeon.
Star swooped into and amongst the branches that had been parted specifically so a large flyer like her could get through. Even though the Age of Creation was gone, there were still Tree Architects around today who had been passed the knowledge by their forefathers. They had connected and trimmed the network of branches to provide a perfect shelter inside the leaves for their family, and then moved onto the next tree of their neighbours to do it for them also. It happened a long time ago when Star was still a baby, but she remembered her mother and father fussing over specific features, like the sound of the wind being too loud and rain getting in. It was one of her last memories of them.
“Did you have a good day dear, you look pooped,” commented Fliela as Star brushed her way in.
“Oh it was fine, just the usual,” replied Star, “planting our future in the minds of young children, so that they might grow strong and proud.”
“And wise,” added Fliela, “what you do is very important to all of us, and you shouldn’t forget it.”
“I know… it’s just so exhausting,” Star said as she collapsed into a bed of dense leaves, “and with Glide gone and all… it’s been so taxing on me.”
“You’re worried about him aren’t you,” assured Fliela, “don’t be… your brother is strong and can take care of himself. He will be back before you know it.”
“I know but there’s also Sky, I don’t want him to get hurt,” moaned Star, “we were friends and well… things happened to tear us apart. I just wish I could see him again.”
There was a swooping sound as another wingtail entered the tree behind them. It was probably just Sturgeon.
“Well just relax, and I’ll get you some tree sweets,” assured Fliela, “Sturgeon could you-”
Aunt Fliela stopped dead in her tracks and gasped. The flyer in front of her was not Sturgeon, and he was covered in blood.
“Oh my…Glide!” she said with a quiver in her voice, and she moved closer to look at his injuries. Her nephew was in rough shape, and his wings and chest were cut up pretty badly. A line of dried blood ran down the side of his face, and his expression was one of pure anger and hatred. Fliela had never seen him look like that.
“Sky happened to me,” answered Glide bitterly, and he shook his wings in frustration. Star shot up at the sound of his voice.
“Glide, Glide your back!” she cried joyously, and embraced him. He returned the gesture.
“Yeah I made it back, I’m okay,” he assured Star as she held him tight. Even as infuriated and in pain as he was, he felt the positive energy of his sister flow into him. He was glad to see her.
“But Glide, what happened to your wings, your face?” Star questioned, and she gasped in fear as she looked over the full extent of his injuries. Overall there was nothing serious, but her brother had never lost a fight before. What could possibly do this to him?
“Sharpteeth,” stated Glide bitterly, “and because of them Sky got away.”
“That’s good,” said Star, “I was afraid you might-”
“What do you mean it’s good?” shouted Glide, “My quest was to find him and take it from him by force, and he gets away and you think it’s GOOD!?! Do you have any idea what happens to me if the elders find out I’m here? I was told to return with the Occular or not come home at all!”
“Glide, stop shouting! If somebody hears you then you will be found out,” insisted Fliela.
“I’m afraid we already have,” came a deep and dignified voice from the entrance of the tree. All three wingtails turned to see Sturgeon standing on the branch leading to the outside. He looked ashen.
“You have been summoned to the elders… they have heard of your return.”
Glide ground his toothless jaw in rage. First he had to endure the horrific fight with those cursed sharpteeth as well as the non-stop journey home, and now he had to go before the elders without even a minute of rest. Fliela and Star stepped back in caution as Glide struck out at a nearby branch, leaving deep claw marks.
“Fine,” uttered Glide as his moment of anger passed, “let’s get this over with.”
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Sorry I posted this week's chapter so late... with having to write the prologue as well it was a lot of writing to cram into one week! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
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You’ll be happy to hear this: I liked this chapter a lot! :yes I couldn’t find anything to complain about this time! :p (Well...a few spelling errors, perhaps, but I won’t point those out unless you want me to.)
I thought it was kind of strange at first that you had Ali interrupt the story and send everyone to bed in the prologue, but now I see that it was a clever way to give Ruby a chance to tell her and Chomper’s story by having her take over from Sky at the next storytime.
I’m very relieved, by the way, that Chomper’s fate was not as dark as I initially assumed (I’d worried that he’d been corrupted by Tyron or something :rolleyes). Obviously I still don't know EXACTLY what's happened to him, but I feel much more assured now that it wasn't all bad.
Also, despite what I think of him, I actually feel sorry for Glide at this point; he’s having one heck of a bad day...
Just a question, though; when Tyrus sees Chomper and Ruby, he apparently perceives them both as sharpteeth. Does he regard fast runners as allies, or is he just REALLY bad at identifying other dinosaur species? :p
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He regards fast runners as allies. Remember the "Pact" speel I had in Act II of Rise of Storm Tide, where fastrunners and sharpteeth had a unique relationship? It's kinda along those lines.
Prince Tyrus is a cold-blooded killer but he also knows his friends from his enemies. By his reckoning, there was a sharptooth and a fastrunner, so obviously the fastrunner was honoring the pact to guide the sharptooth to a feeding place (ironically this proved to be true). Since he was short on time and had other things to do then investigate, he just blew it off as not out of the ordinary and kept going. If he stayed to ask questions he might have had something against their "friendship" but he didn't so the plot goes on. :smile
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Finally, I hear more from Star. :D
Yes, this was another great chapter. I also like the fact that Topsy hasn't changed after these years. :D
It was a nice idea having Ruby continue the story of her and Chomper.
I feel sorry for Glide. Gahh! I want to know what happens next. D=
Guess I have to read Rise of Storm Tide to understand the "pact" of sharpteeth and fastrunners, huh? ;)
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Hmm... I re-reviewed the story summary today and it looks like Act II is going to be a bit longer then the other acts. It's looking to be around 7-8 parts due to all the character development that I want to occur between the main story events. I could probably shorten it a bit, to "get to the point" so to speak, as well as revealing the plot endings a bit sooner. On the other hand though, I'm sure nobody here wants to see the lovey-dovey or funny scenes cut from an otherwise dark story. What do you guys think?
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I say, to heck with getting to the point, and proportional act lengths be darned! :p You're such a flamin' awesome writer that I want to see everything you've got!* :yes Besides, I like long, comprehensive stories with lots of character development. :smile
*Well...provided you don't have anything reminiscent of that first story you posted......Y'know, the one about Ruby that we'd all sooner forget... <_<
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I like lovey-dovey. :lol Hehe, why not?
I actually like long stories as long as they're good. This fanfic though, is awesome. :D
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*Well...provided you don't have anything reminiscent of that first story you posted......Y'know, the one about Ruby that we'd all sooner forget... <_<
Killer Ruby will return! Muhahaha!
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Killer Ruby will return! Muhahaha!
It might be kind of cool to see her hold her own against a fast biter or something (though killing anyone, even a sharptooth, seems terribly out of character for Ruby), but if she shows any murderous intent toward any members of the gang, I stop reviewing. Got that? :p
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I'm not talking about in Far Away Home... I meant as a seperate story sometime down the road. A "revised" and "plot-given" sequal :p
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^ Sorry. :oops It would seem that I've been making a career out of misinterpreting what you say. :p
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Part II:
The dark chamber glowed in a cascade of colours as the minerals in the water provided illumination to the otherwise gloomy scene. When Sky and Petrie followed the rest of the gang into the hole the river flowed fast but shallow, and the two flyers kept their heads above the water without too much difficulty. At the end of the chute, the two of them shot out of the tunnel and splashed down into a deep pool.
“Hey it not deep at all… me standing on the bottom!” exclaimed Petrie as he rose to his feet. Suddenly he came right up out of the water, and it became apparent that he was actually standing on Sky’s head.
“Umm… sort of,” corrected Petrie as Sky smiled slightly and rolled his eyes.
Around the two of them Ali and Spike were pulling themselves together, while Littlefoot was already climbing out onto the shore. Ducky seemed to be enjoying herself in the water.
“This is warm, it is!” the swimmer exclaimed happily as she splashed Spike, who still looked pale from their quick descent down the river tunnel. He didn’t like water that was too deep for him to stand in, especially if it was fast water. Ever since he nearly drowned during the first cold time he left the swimming to his little sister – the water was for drinking and nothing else.
“Hey it is warm… shouldn’t it be cold if it’s down this far?” asked Ali.
“This water system appears to be the product of underground heat… from where though I cannot tell,” explained Sky, “I suspect the rocks here have more to tell us.”
The wingtail waded onto shore and shook his wings to dislodge the moisture. They were wet and heavy, and until they dried for all intents and purposes he wouldn’t be able to fly. Looking around the cavern it was clear that he probably didn’t need to – the ceiling was so low a flyer of his size would have trouble manoeuvring in here.
“But rocks don’t talk…” began Ali, before realizing how foolish she sounded. Sky was just speaking figuratively.
“Oh of course they do Ali, you just have to know where to look.”
Sky picked up a shabby black looking stone and looked at it briefly, before tossing it aside and moving onto another. Littlefoot followed curiously, watching what he was doing. Spike climbed onto shore, and shook himself off. Ali followed and repeated the shake, unfortunately getting Spike wet again.
“Sorry,” apologized Ali as Spike grunted in displeasure.
“Sky,” asked Littlefoot, “who was that flyer that attacked us… and what did he want?”
“That was a self-obsessed wingtail known as Glide - we go back a long way,” answered Sky, “He was obviously after the Occular, speaking of which…”
The blue wingtail withdrew the eyeglass from inside his wing, and checked it for damage. It was certainly well-built as it hadn’t even suffered a scratch. Benzon must have really known what he was doing when he created it – either that or he was very lucky and got it perfect on the first try. Taking advantage of its bi-ocular nature Sky flipped it around so it would magnify the image for him, and looked closely at a very shiny rock he picked up.
“Hmm… visually pleasing,” commented Sky, “But, very impractical.” And he tossed the diamond into the water.
“But why does he want it so bad, it’s only a rock,” asserted Littlefoot, “And there’s plenty of rocks around if he really wants one.”
“It’s not that simple Littlefoot, not that simple at all,” Sky answered hesitantly.
“What is it Sky, what else is there?” Littlefoot pushed. Sky sighed.
“Very well, I suspect that Glide is not the only one who is after the Occular. Take those sharpteeth for instance… I fear that Tyron may also be onto us as well,” Sky explained, but Ali was confused.
“… Tyron? Who’s he?” Ali questioned.
“Tyron is the tyrant king of sharpteeth… the Occular used to belong to him but we wingtails took it back over a generation ago, for it was rightfully ours,” lectured Sky, “if those two who chased us answer to Tyron, then we may have another far more deadly foe on our tails then the one who attacked me up there.”
“But we’re safe down here right?” asked Littlefoot.
“Yes, yes, yes, the sharpteeth cannot swim, so they will never think to come down to where we are,” added Ducky.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” put out Sky as he listened to the pouring of the water out of the chute of which they all came out of.
A string of growls and snarls came echoing down the tunnel, causing the rest of the gang present to look up in alarm. The sharpteeth hadn’t found them yet, but there was a good chance they would come down looking for them. They had to be gone before that happened.
“Sharpteeth,” whispered Ali to Littlefoot.
“This way,” called out Sky, “we have to continue into the tunnels. I believe I know where we are, and with any luck we can find our way out before we are sensed.”
Obeying the wingtail’s prompt, the gang moved to follow him into the depths of the caves.
“But what about Cera, Chomper, and Ruby? We can just leave them up there!” Littlefoot said to Sky. The wingtail turned to him with a look of sincere sorrow.
“I’m sorry Littlefoot, but we don’t have much choice. Your friends will have to fend for themselves.”
Littlefoot took one last glance at the water chute they had entered the cavern with, before turning away. The three of them were on their own now, for better or worse. He only hoped they could keep together and look out for each other like he did. Maybe, someday, they would meet again.
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Despite the initial danger, the journey through the caves went very smoothly. The ground was a former riverbed and was flat and hard, making it easy to walk on. Easy for everyone but Sky that is; the wingtail’s legs were aching like they never had before. He was so used to flying everywhere that his legs were badly out of shape, and he was finding it difficult to continue. It was a good thing there was a slight layer of water covering the floor, as it was nice and warm compared to the rest of the cavern.
“Is it just me, or this water getting higher and higher as we go?” Littlefoot stated suddenly, as he glanced nervously at the thin film of water.
“It must be you Littlefoot, it hasn’t changed at all since we started,” Ali countered.
“I don’t know,” said Littlefoot insecurely, “What do you think Sky?”
The wingtail didn’t answer. Instead he did a very simple test. He focused on a small stationary object, a rock just above the waterline. After a few moments, it became clear that the water was rising. That could not be good.
“I think we should continue, and hope it does not rise any further,” the wingtail answered.
Experience told them that when Sky said something like that, something bad was about to happen. Perhaps the collapse of Saurus Rock had cast bad luck down on all of them, but it was impossible to tell. After all bad luck was relative, as they were all lucky to still be alive after being chased by sharpteeth and Sky being beaten into submission.
“What the matter, it only water,” said Petrie and he shrugged as he proposed the question to the others. Sky opened his mouth to answer, but Littlefoot did instead.
“If the water rises too much, we won’t be able to breathe so we’ll drown.” The young longneck said, and Petrie began to shiver in terror. Why did he bother to ask? He knew it would only make him scared.
“Ah… you certainly are learning Littlefoot,” said Sky, and he gave Littlefoot a proud smile.
There was no better satisfaction for a teacher then to see his students learning on their own, and to Sky’s pleasure Littlefoot was far more gifted then he had realized. The longneck had the knowledge and intellect to understand the things he told him, but rarely he also had a depth of wisdom and experience that was very uncommon amongst other longnecks his age. In addition to this his friends were seasoned adventurers, and never complained about hunger, fatigue or boredom. There was more to these younglings then initially met the eye.
The rising water proved to be non-threatening… the levels went down as the day went on and they ventured deeper into the caves. Sky suspected that the rocks “breathed” as in got bigger during the onset of night, so the water would be trapped inside. It was interesting how living the dead ground beneath them could actually be, and Sky made a note to come back here to study it sometime in the future.
…
After nearly four hours of walking through the damp dark Icy Caves the gang finally emerged into the outside, and they were exhausted. Apart from some water greens Ducky pulled up from the pool none of them had eaten anything, and they were starving. The green food was sparse at the exit of the cave, but it was better then nothing. As Littlefoot, Ali, Petrie, Ducky and Spike spread out to feast themselves, Sky went to do a little bit of hunting on his own.
Wingtails were omnivores, but their vastly preferred food was fish. Having grown up next to a large lake, there was always tons of fish to go around of many different colours, species, and more importantly tastes. Every year when the cold time ended and the fish awoke from their long slumber, the wingtails took to the skies and took advantage of the stupefied fish to make record catches. One of Sky’s fondest memories was from when he was barely a hatchling, and the Fish Day was going on. The Fish Day was when rather then eating their catches, the wingtails would trade them with each other to try and get the tastiest fish of them all. Because everyone had a different preference when it came to food, for the most part everyone benefitted. The Fish Trade was similar to a yearly festival, and he remembered it as a glorious time of storytelling, singing, and performing. It was there were he learned one year to palm objects, making it appear like he had conjured them up from thin air. This helped him in his teaching immeasurably, as children were the most interested in things they could see and feel, yet did not understand.
As Sky came to rest on a branch overlooking the next leg of their journey, he sighed at the memories. As great as it was, that time was gone now and would never return. He was on the run, and hunted by those of his own homeland. It pained him that they would never understand, that they never know why he ran and didn’t come back. It was a secret he would likely take till the time the skin had decayed off his bones.
A group of three mysterious dinosaurs slipped out of the brush and were bathed in the light of the impending dusk a fair distance away. Sky would have paid them no mind, were it not for the way they moved. Sharpteeth crouched low and spread out when they were hunting, while leaf-eaters tended to walk with their heads held high, so they could see their food. This group however, lay somewhere in between. Sky squinted as he watched their movements, then one of them glanced to the side in his direction.
Even from this distance Sky could make out the fiery red pupils and evil hunger in them, and the glint of sharp white teeth. It was unnerving, but not entirely foreign to him. Sharpteeth who acted this way were not out for a meal, they were patrolling on someone else’s orders. These were Tyron’s scouts. One of them looked him dead in the eye, but after a while snorted and looked away. From a distance they couldn’t tell who he was, so thankfully he was passed off as a local.
After the sharpteeth left Sky bolted into the air… he had to warn the gang.
…
As Sky took off another fast-biter had his eyes on him, but unlike the scouts this one had a mission, a purpose, and a master’s orders to follow.
Redgar watched the wingtail disappear over the ridge, and wheeled on his feet to tell Prince Tyrus what he had seen. When the group of them had reached the entrance to the Icy Caves they found inside one of their own that was broken and bruised, but fortunately still alive. Before he was mercifully executed and eaten, he told them about the wingtail with the Occular and the children with him. Redgar would have to say in all his years serving Tyron he had never seen anything like it, a wingtail seeking sanctuary within the deepest and darkest of places. From what he knew of them they were a snobby race that believed they were first among the flyers, and constantly violated his master’s domains.
Tyron had often ranted about destroying the insolent creatures, but they were far away, numerous, and very clever. They roosted in the high trees far out of the reach of the sharptooth hunters, and they had also been long suspected as the keepers of the Occular, the object that his princely escortee desired so much.
As he ran back to his new master, Redgar reminded himself that Tyrus was certainly not a weakling compared to his father. Perhaps his title was misleading, but Tyron would have his son called no less. In the fast-biter’s experience it was best to not argue and serve loyally to the best of your ability, and you would be rewarded with a good meal and another day of life. The thought of it made dealing with a mad dog like Tyrus slightly easier to bear.
“What did you find?” growled Prince Tyrus threateningly as Redgar approached him.
“There is indeed a wingtail, although there was no sign of the supposed “friends” he had with him.”
“They are insignificant,” snarled Tyrus, “All we need is the wingtail… alive if possible.”
“Why do you want us to spare is his life?” asked Redgar in confusion.
“I plan to kill him myself,” responded Tyrus gloweringly, and he bared his teeth in glee.
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When Sky reached the gang the darkness had already closed in, and they had already drifted off into dreamland. It wasn’t safe for them here, with Tyron’s scouts sneaking around. If they were caught, he might get away but the children would be dead meat. They had to make it across the Cratered Glen, and they had to do it tonight.
“Littlefoot, wake up we need to go,” Sky said as he landed next to the longneck, and shook him awake.
“Oh… just a few more minutes grandma,” Littlefoot moaned.
“Wake up!” Sky shouted.
“Ahhh!” Littlefoot cried in shock, and he blinked as he came back to the realm of the awake. With a yawn he replied angrily to Sky,
“What was that for? We’ve been walking all day,”
“Sharpteeth… they are here and they are searching for us. If you want to live, we have to go and go right now,” Sky asserted.
Littlefoot grumbled in displeasure and proceeded to help Sky wake up the rest of the gang. They were interrupted by a shrill roar that echoed through the trees and the forest.
“Tyrus,” Sky whispered to himself.
“Get up Spike, get up!” Ducky begged Spike, but he heard it too and didn’t need to be pushed any farther. The sounds of thunderous stomping became louder and louder as death approached from the dark woods. A sharptooth couldn’t see them, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t smell or hear them.
With Sky in the lead the gang tore through the edge of the woods and into the rugged terrain of the Cratered Glen, their primal instincts of survival overriding their exhaustion and fatigue.
The Cratered Glen was known for being pockmarked with craters of unknown origin. Some legends say that when the longnecks stopped the Great Circle from falling out of the sky, pieces of it fell to the earth and landed here, while other legends say that a swarm of flying rocks hit here on their own in times past. Whichever story was true, an apparent feature of this place was how exothermically active it was. The Black Mountain’s volcanic systems ran deep through the land and although it had been quiet through all living memory, its heat still spawned numerous phenomena like the Cordial Springs, the Mudflow, and even the occasional geyser eruptions that occurred here in the Cratered Glen.
“This way children, if we hurry we can escape in the geyser field.” Sky said urgently.
“Sorry, but what’s a geyser?” asked Ali while they ran at a quickened pace.
“You’ll see,” was the only answer Sky would give.
In the open the entire gang was clearly visible, so that even in the dark Tyrus could see their movements and hear their footsteps. In an instant, he burst out of the forest and was on their tails. Ducky screamed.
“He getting closer!” hollered Petrie in anguish.
“Do something Sky, we can’t keep running like this!” Ali begged.
Sky wheeled around and headed straight back towards the impending doom right behind them. It was time for a test, a test to see what motivated this Sharptooth. He dove at the sharptooth’s eyes, and it snapped at him. The villainous jaws came within inches of the wingtail, and he screeched at the top of his lungs. Tyrus withdrew from the horrible sound, and in the moments distraction Sky shouted to Littlefoot.
“Keep going Littlefoot! Don’t stop until you reach the other side!”
“But what about you?” the longneck cried back.
“I’ll handle this.” Sky replied reassuringly.
Following behind Littlefoot the rest of the children went on, and soon it was just Sky and Tyrus. Sky circled around just out of reach, and withdrew the Occular from within his wing. He flashed it the moonlight.
“Looking for this?” Sky taunted, and the sharptooth snarled in rage at him.
Yep, this sharptooth was definitely after the same thing that Glide was, but unlike that bully there was no way he could take the massive Tyrus on by himself. He would have to play a little game with him.
“You want it? Come and get it.”
The blue wingtail swooped through the air and soared towards the geyser fields, keeping low to the ground so the sharptooth would chase him. A smarter thing to do would be to simply fly away and out of Tyrus’ reach, but if he did that the fiend might go after the children, and with them in their current state they would most certainly be slaughtered.
After a minute or two Sky had made it to the geyser fields, and landed right next to an open hole into the earth. He had to end this chase now, and he knew just the way. Tyrus stalked up to him slowly, thinking he had the wingtail cornered. The sharptooth had a look of murderous hunger on his face, but it was not for food. He wanted revenge.
“I can go no farther, take it and leave me be.”
In a surprising gesture, Sky took the Occular out of his wing and flicked it through the air. It sailed through the cool night air, and landed at the sharptooth’s feet. Tyrus may not have understood what the thief had said, but there was no misinterpreting his actions. He was giving it back.
Tyrus would have none of this – he wanted blood to avenge the deed and the dishonour, and he would have it. He extended a foot and mashed the dirt with his claws, brushing the Occular along with the surrounding soil aside into unimportance. There was no misinterpreting that gesture either, as the Sharptooth Prince revealed his rows of teeth and closed in for the kill. Sky just sighed.
“Sharpteeth… so predictable,” he chided.
Just as the wingtail said it a plume of water burst from the ground in front of him, just as he felt it would when he landed, and jetted into Tyrus’ face. The boiling water seared his eyes and nose, and filled his opened mouth. With a horrible shriek the sharptooth recoiled, and began to roll on the ground in agony. That would certainly leave a mark.
Calmly, and almost casually Sky re-acquired the Occular from the dirt on his way back into the air, and left his sharptooth nemesis reeling in pain in a pool of high temperature underground water. Thank the heavens for geysers.
…
Sky landed next to his young charges, which were absolutely spent and sprawled out under a lush tree they had somehow found. In the distance, dawn was just beginning to break the horizon and drown out the beautiful display of stars. Most of the gang didn’t notice, and had fallen asleep almost immediately upon reaching the other side of the Glen. Only Littlefoot was still awake, but barely.
“Did you get away, is it gone?” the longneck asked.
“Yes… I don’t think he will be bothering us anymore, at least for a while.”
“Great… now can we finally go to sleep?” Littlefoot moaned.
“Yes Littlefoot, you have earned your rest,” Sky replied.
Within a few minutes, Sky too was deep into the realm of sleep with the rest of his travel companions. Who knows what awaited them tomorrow, in the untravelled and unknown woods of the Forbidden Forest?
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Since this weekend is Thanksgiving and this week is notably lighter then my University week usually is, I think I might post Part III earlier then normal.
I'm sure you guys won't object lol. :lol
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^ I certainly won’t. :smile First, though, here's my review for Part II:
So the river in the cave is volcanically heated...ah. I was wondering why the gang didn’t get hypothermia from swimming in an icy cavern. :p
I found the scene where Sky finds a diamond, and throws it away because of its uselessness, to be quite amusing, but it also made me think of something: as the hardest substance on Earth, wouldn’t a Creator find a diamond more practical as a possession than any other creature, given its usefulness as a cutting implement? (I suppose Sky didn’t need to create anything at the moment, but still, it’s something to consider.)
And then there’s the part where Tyrus got blasted with a geyser. My first thought was “Ooh dear... :o He may not be dead, but Sky’s ruined his good looks...” :p If Tyrus was out for revenge before, I’m betting that the gang (especially Sky) will have more to fear from him now than ever before...
I do have one grammatical and one typographical nitpick, by the way. :p Firstly...
Sharpteeth crouched low and spread out when they were hunting, while leaf-eaters tended to walk with their heads held high, so they could see their food. This group however, lied somewhere in between.
This is one of the trickiest words to conjugate, but I know that in this context, it should be “lay”.
Secondly, I think the last sentence of the chapter should end with a question mark.
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Ok ill fix the errors, thank you for noticing them Pangaea.
I'm starting to get the drift that this story is losing interest, both from me and from some of the people reading it. If that is the case I was considering pushing it back from a weekly thing to a bi-weekly thing so as to ease the sense of commitment (from both me and my very appreciated group of reviewers).
I've been fanatically persuing FAW because of both boredom at home and my desire to reveal the epic ending with tons of secrets and twists along the way. In my opinion, this past chapter was the most boring in the story which explains why it was so hard to write.
This story is missing something... I don't know what it is or when it left but I do know is that it's gone and it's absence is effecting my writing.
What do you all think?
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Aww, that's too bad... :(
Well, we can't force you to write more when you don't want to. :) I just hope you'll finish this someday. And I'm still excited and looking forward to it. :DD
Motivation comes and goes... but maybe I can keep you motivated by finishing the picture for Act I which I promised. :p
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Ok ill fix the errors, thank you for noticing them Pangaea.
You're welcome. ;)
I'm starting to get the drift that this story is losing interest, both from me and from some of the people reading it. If that is the case I was considering pushing it back from a weekly thing to a bi-weekly thing so as to ease the sense of commitment (from both me and my very appreciated group of reviewers).
For what it's worth, I've actually found myself MORE interested in the story lately. (Not that I was ever uninterested in it. :p) Just for clarification, are you saying that you're thinking of posting one chapter every two weeks, or two chapters every week? Either way, it's okay with me (though I will miss the less frequent posting of chapters if it's the former).
This story is missing something... I don't know what it is or when it left but I do know is that it's gone and it's absence is effecting my writing.
Beats me. I don't notice anything different. :confused
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This story is missing something... I don't know what it is or when it left but I do know is that it's gone and it's absence is effecting my writing.
Beats me. I don't notice anything different. :confused
Ah, I forgot that you guys don't know whats coming next :lol
I'll try and have this chapter up by friday... it's another Ruby/Glide chapter.
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Sorry I had something come up, but don't worry Chapter III will be going up momentarily. It's an extra long chapter with lots of good moments in it! Enjoy.
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Part III:
With his uncle Sturgeon in the lead, Glide veered his way through the Feral Forest in the dead of night. He was glad for the cover of darkness – it kept him from the stares of those who knew of his failure. Wingtails were a tight knit group and all news tended to travel quickly from tree to tree, especially bad news. On this particular night the two of them were passed through without notice because it was too late for anyone to still be awake – a stroke of luck that was buried underneath his feelings of hate and rage over being summoned. The elders didn’t even have the decency to let him get a good night’s sleep! He would be glad when this was over.
“Glide?” inquired the door guard monotonously, the same guard that let him in last time he was here.
“Yes,” answered Glide bitterly.
“You may enter,” said the door guard, before adding, “… alone.”
“I am his uncle and oldest living family,” interrupted Sturgeon, “if he is to be judged, then I have a right to be present.”
The guard’s eyes widened as he took in the size and power of Sturgeon. He doubted that he could refuse the dark navy wingtail entry even if he really wanted to… so it was best to let him pass.
“Very well, right this way.”
And the two wingtails entered the elders’ tree.
…
“Back so soon, son of Allisan?” Tenebron said in a mild gibe. It was clear looking around him that the other elders did not find it the least bit funny.
“You have the Occular in your possession, I trust…” said a female elder distastefully, looking up and down at his form. Fliela and Star had rubbed off most of the blood, but there were still clearly visible cuts – most notably the gash on the side of Glide’s cheek.
“No… Sky got away,” breathed Glide bitterly. The council dissolved into a sea of whispers, but the black wingtail couldn’t discern what any of them were saying. Clearly this was something they had lots of practise at.
“He got away did he? I was under the impression that you were not to return until the Occular was safely in your possession,” the female said matter of factly. It was so tactless it made Glide’s stomach tighten.
“Do you still have the Cordian with you, is it undamaged?” insisted an older male elder. Glide didn’t really know what to think of him yet.
“Yes.”
In a slow and grudging motion, Glide pulled the crystal bell out of his wing, and placed it silently on the stump where he had acquired it nearly a week ago. It made him angry to have to relinquish it so quick, since he had enjoyed carrying it with him. There was no finer sound in the entire world, now he would never hear it again.
“Apparently our faith in you Glide, was misplaced,” chided the female elder whom Glide now hated.
“Indeed,” sighed Tenebron. He had actually had believed in the boy, and knew somehow that he would succeed. It was a shame that heroes like his son Eybron were a rare breed.
“He tried his best, and is not deserving of your scorn,” called out Sturgeon, “I think this ëquest’ you’ve given him was impossible on his own, and you knew he would get hurt.”
“Know your place Sturgeon or you will no longer be welcome here,” the older male elder corrected. Glide made up his mind that he hated all of them now.
“Now, do you have anything to say before we pass our judgement, Son of Allisan?” the female mocked officially. It was time for Glide to defend himself.
“I was attacked, Sky had help! I was ambushed by sharpteeth and I nearly didn’t make it back.”
“Excuses, excuses! I would have thought that the winner of the Fish Day fights for four seasons in a row would able to be handle one simple, weak little outcast who cowers from the judgement of his own kind… or perhaps you aren’t worthy of your titles?” the female leaned forward tauntingly, and Glide had an overwhelming urge to punch her head in.
“Cinceel I think you are being too hard on him, perhaps we should discuss these developments tomorrow when we’ve had time to-”
“Do you not remember Tenebron? We have already decided his punishment, long before he arrived,” Cinceel countered.
“That is correct Tenebron, you were part of that judgement as well, if I do recall,” corrected a younger elder who had remained silent on the issue for most of the meeting. Tenebron sighed, and waved at Cinceel in submission. The moment had come, the moment when Glide learned his fate.
“Glide, son of Allisan, for returning without the Occular you have disobeyed our commands regardless of what the circumstances may be. For this, we sentence you to-”
“Am I correct in understanding that my old task… is once again unfulfilled?” interrupted an unknown speaker from the shadows.
Everyone in the canopy, including all the guards and elders, simultaneously turned to see a dignified grey wingtail emerge from the darkness and greet them all with a cold stare. It was Eybron.
“What, how DARE you interrupt our sentence?” shouted Cinceel. She glared at Eybron.
Contrary to the situation, Eybron casually spied a fruit dangling from a branch on the tree. With a slight reach up he pulled it down and observed it for a moment, before turning to address the elder’s response.
“I was under the impression that all of you, and you especially Cinceel, had given me the task to retrieve the Occular. A task that, despite my safe return, you never bothered to tell me was complete. Under the current pretext of the situation, I would say that as a standing duty it is quite unfulfilled,” Eybron said slyly, and while the rest of the elders watched with curiosity and some admiration, Cinceel fumed.
“You were not summoned! You have no place here!” she shot down at him.
“Tisk, tisk, such anger over something so trivial. Judging from your response, I presume that you never want the Occular to be found?” Eybron answered.
The angry female elder didn’t have a plausible retort, so she decided to sit and glare at the unworthy intruder. Once they were done with Glide, she would deal with him.
“As long as the Occular is missing then it is my mission to find it, as well as Glide’s,” Eybron continued, “So, if you will kindly allow me to have my cohort back and resume my appointed task, then we need discuss it no further.”
Glide couldn’t believe it – this wingtail everyone thought was a hero was sticking out his neck for him. From what he knew of Eybron he was cold and ruthless and never did anything for anyone that didn’t benefit himself. Obviously, he had something to gain from being Glide’s friend … but what?
“Eybron, you would take responsibility for both Glide and the finding of the Occular for a second time?” asked the older male. The other elders including Tenebron but not Cinceel nodded at the validity of the question.
“Of course… a ëhero’s’ duty is never truly honoured,” replied Eybron.
“As you will then… we see no further reason to distract you from your duties. You are all dismissed,” the older male completed. All the elders but Cinceel looked content with the decision, so it became official. Glide owed Eybron a serious debt.
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Ruby and Chomper had reached a crossroads. At the end of the Farwalker Gorge the river emerged from the mouth of a deep, dark cave and flowed viciously past the two small dinosaurs as they transgressed its banks. The rocks were sharp and slippery going inside which meant they would risk falling into the river if they attempted to cross them.
On the same token, following the path up the wall of the Gorge to their right would not only mean leaving the river – their source of food and water – but it also brought the risk of falling as they ascended. It was a tough choice.
“Hmm… we can go into the caves over those pointy rocks,” said Ruby as she pointed out the sharp rocks, “…or we can go back up the wall to the top.”
As she made the statement Ruby felt a pang of fear for both of them. Going over the rocks meant they could slip into the river and be carried away – a thought that made her start shaking – while climbing the cliff meant they could fall, an equally scary thought. She would leave it to Chomper to choose.
“What do you think Chomper?”
The small sharptooth thought about it for a few seconds, looking back and forth at the different paths they could take.
“I think we should go up… it looks safer then the scary dark cave,” Chomper stated.
“Maybe we should just go back, I mean I’m sure there’s a better why up back the way we came,” Ruby suggested nervously.
“Come on don’t be a scaredy egg, its not that bad.”
The two of them began to climb the wall of the gorge like they had a few days ago, only this time instead of the distance to the ground getting smaller as they went down it kept getting longer and longer as they went up. Ruby kept looking back nervously, and was seriously slowing down their progress. Chomper decided to make some conversation to make her think of something else.
“So Ruby, back there when the Sharptooth nearly attacked us, how did you know he told us to go back to our nests? I didn’t know you understood sharptooth.”
“Oh my daddy taught me,” replied Ruby, before adding sadly, “… when he was alive.”
“But I thought it was impossible for a leaf-eater to learn sharptooth… they sound totally different,” asked Chomper.
“I’m not a leaf eater am I?” chuckled Ruby, “It took me a long time to understand what he was saying, so daddy only taught me to know what other sharpteeth are saying instead of teaching me to say it too.”
“Do you know things in sharptooth, like this?” Chomper made a strange chain of growls and hisses before adding, “…umm… I hope that’s the right word.”
Ruby laughed.
“That’s easy… you said ëwill you be my mate’.”
Chomper blushed.
“Whoops… I didn’t actually mean that.”
He had hoped to say ëwill you be my friend’ but sharptooth language didn’t have a word for friend so he used the closest thing he knew – the phrase his parents used sometimes.
“Okay… can you say something in sharptooth – for practise?” asked Chomper, eager to change the subject.
“Sure… umm let’s see,” Ruby said as she thought about what to say, and then she uttered a string of growls and grunts. Coming from a fastrunner it sounded really weird, and Chomper had some difficulty making it out.
“Well what did I say?” inquired Ruby somewhat nervously.
“I think you said either ëI love mud trees’ or ëI want to rip out your limbs’,” said Chomper in an embarrassed manner.
He should have lied and said it was something nicer, but Ruby needed to know the truth since she might need to talk her way out of getting eaten by a sharptooth.
“Oh…” said Ruby with surprise, “I guess I’m not too good at this.”
“Don’t worry about it,” assured Chomper, “We can keep trying, and it’s not like we are going to meet a real sharptooth again any time soon.”
Chomper didn’t know how wrong he was.
…
The conversation carried Ruby and Chomper up the cliff wall and beyond into the wastes, until they had reached the borders of the Feral Forest. It was the most beautiful wood they had ever visited, and the two of them looked around at the sheer variety of trees and plants that they passed.
“Wow this place is amazing,” commented Chomper, “but I wonder where all the leaf-eaters are. With this much green food they should be everywhere.”
“They probably saw you,” asserted Ruby, but realizing it sounded unkind she added, “They don’t know that you’re nice.”
“It’s okay, I get that a lot,” Chomper said matter of factly.
It was true… leaf-eaters still ran at the sight of him in the Great Valley if they didn’t know who he was. Granted it occurred a lot less then it used to, it was still a stinging rejection when all he wanted to do was be friends. In his mind, just because he ate meat it didn’t mean he couldn’t be their friend. One day it might become hard for him to differentiate between friends and food, but he hoped it would never come.
“The bush gets thicker here, stay right behind me,” insisted Ruby.
“Okay, but apart from those flyers I don’t see how anyone would be-” Chomper was interrupted as Ruby screamed. She backed up nearly on top of him, gaping in fear at the gap in the shrubs she just reversed out of.
“What is it, what’s there?” asked Chomper desperately.
“S-Sharptooth! … A mean one!” Ruby cried in fear.
Just as the fastrunner stammered the words a fast biter pushed his way through the bushes and growled menacingly at the two children. Strangely, Chomper recognized him.
“…Thudd?” Chomper asked in leaf-eater, before repeating it in sharptooth.
“Let’s go!” called out Ruby desperately, “he’s going to eat us!”
“Wait,” insisted Chomper as Thudd reared in surprise, “Thudd… is that you?”
Thudd snarled at Chomper, but didn’t answer. He had half a mind to devour them both right here, especially the little pink one. He owed her a kick for what she did to his nose when he was still serving Red Claw. Seeing he wasn’t going to get an answer, Chomper continued.
“Thudd… what are you doing out here? Where’s your pack?”
Things had changed a lot since the Storm Tide between Chomper and Thudd. While they still remained nominal enemies, Thudd indirectly helped them out in defeating his treacherous old master and he still had yet to honour the debt with Chomper for saving his life. Perhaps the small sharptooth could use it as leverage to start a meaningful conversation.
“That life is gone now little biter,” replied Thudd bitterly, and he revealed a arcing scar from the top of his shoulder to just below his throat, “you must have quite the death wish to be standing here before me.”
On that note he bared his teeth and advanced on the children.
“You still owe me Thudd!” shouted Chomper, “you could at least be a bit nicer.”
Thudd snorted at the remark, and turned away.
“Fine, I’ll let you live… this time,” the fast-biter said, and he proceeded to walk away. Thudd couldn’t believe he was doing this again… letting perfectly good prey escape because of some imagined life debt.
“I’d take living over getting eaten any day,” said Ruby matter of factly, but Chomper wasn’t ready to give up on this yet.
“You didn’t answer me Thudd…what are you doing out here?” the tiny sharptooth asked. Thudd snarled in annoyance and turned back around to face Chomper. He was really starting to try his patience.
“I serve a new master now, a greater master,” Thudd replied, “one who always feeds those in his service.”
Ruby and Chomper looked at each other in confusion. What other great sharpteeth were there? Chomper decided it was better not to ask.
“Well maybe you can help us. We’re looking for Cera, our threehorn … nest-mate.”
Again the lack of a sharptooth word for friend really got in his way. Thudd raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment on it. When Chomper made his lonely journey to try and make friends with sharpteeth, it failed because he kept trying to talk to them in leaf-eater. Once he tried in sharptooth, they kept misunderstanding his meaning. One day he would have to invent a word for friend.
“Perhaps I can help you,” replied Thudd, “but if I do the next time we meet you will be prey… no more life-debts to get in the way.”
“Deal,” stated Chomper. Thudd continued.
“I saw where those Wingtails took your friend – she was so loud it was insufferable.”
“Hey Thudd, your tail is a tree,” said Ruby in sharptooth. Thudd looked at her in confusion, and Ruby realized she must have messed up her sharptooth again.
“Chomper, can you tell him I’m sorry about his nose,” asked Ruby. Chomper obeyed.
“Ruby says she’s sorry about your nose,” Chomper said to Thudd.
The fast-biter turned to Ruby and uttered a string of growls and snarls that she barely understood. With a snort Thudd turned away.
“I think I must be having trouble hearing sharptooth too,” uttered Ruby, “because it sounded to me like he said ëI want to rip out your limbs’.”
Chomper frowned.
“No, I think he meant it.”
The fastrunner and the tiny sharptooth made to follow the fast-biter as he led them to where Cera was being held.
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After the horrific meeting with the elders, Glide was exhausted, hurting, and most of all confused. Why did this grey wingtail suddenly step in to help him out, when the two of them had only met once? It wasn’t exactly a nice meeting either, as it was when Eybron pulled him off Sky while he was joyfully beating him to death. Rather then head straight home, an anger coated curiosity lingered in the black wingtail’s mind and forced him to follow his rescuer. Maybe he could find out what was going on.
Eybron was flanked by at least four personal guards as he flew back to his post at the Sonicron. Two of them broke off to intercept Glide as he approached but the grey wingtail waved them off. There was business to be discussed.
“Why did you bail me out… what are you up to?” asked Glide with an edge.
“We are both after the same enemy,” replied Eybron, “if your ëSky’ is being aided by the sharpteeth I believe you have a near impossible task on your hands… one of which you cannot succeed without my help.”
“What makes you think I need you?” Glide retorted.
“Follow me… I will make things clearer once we reach the Sonicron.”
…
Admittedly, Glide had never seen the Sonicron before in his life. He made a habit of skipping class when he was a hatchling, so the day when they were allowed past the guards to see it in person he wasn’t there. Up close, it was the most impressive thing he had ever seen. The contours of ancient glass had survived the test of time while gaining only a slight tinge, and the sound of the wind echoed through the hallowed inside like the call of a far away god. Where it not for his present state, Glide would have given anything to speak with Benzon in person and ask him how he made it. Such a thing could never happen of course, with the Grand Creator having died almost a century ago.
“Magnificent isn’t it?” commented Eybron, “often times I stand here like you do, wondering what it would be like to watch it being made.”
Enough of this… Glide wanted answers and he was going to get them one way or the other.
“Why did you really help me? I don’t think it’s just because Sky has sharpteeth helping him,” the black wingtail asked.
Eybron glared at him with a depth similar to a black hole. Maybe this wingtail wasn’t as heroic as people thought.
“Understand, I lost my childhood and innocence to the barbaric sharptooth we all call Tyron,” the grey wingtail said bitterly as he leaned towards Glide, “So I will not have my actions questioned by an ignorant little whelp like you.”
It was a surprising change of attitude, one that Glide wasn’t entirely happy about. Eybron was starting to sound like the elders.
“I brought you here to make a deal Glide... I will help you by sending some of my own guards to assist you in bringing back the Occular and bringing it’s ëkeeper’ to justice. It suits me, because I cannot bear to have the object which I sacrificed so much for fall back into Tyron’s hands.”
“So you’re helping me find Sky because you fear the sharpteeth will get it…” repeated Glide. The grey wingtail’s motive seemed to check out, “…good. But why risk yourself to free me, when you could have done that on your own?”
Eybron smiled. It was an evil and relishing smile that one would expect to see on a sharptooth that had just trapped its prey.
“Ah now we get to the sweet part of the deal. In exchange for freeing you of the elders’ punishment, you will give your permission for me to court your lovely sister, Star.”
Glide’s answer had already been clear before he opened his mouth.
“No.”
“Be reasonable Glide, you can’t keep her in your grasp for the rest of her life. She would die alone and unhappy. Considering my status in the eyes of the others, who would be a better choice?”
“It’s still no,” replied Glide, there was no way he was changing his mind on this.
“Very well… I guess you prefer to take the punishment the elders have planned for you, live the rest of your life in dishonour and disgrace, and deny your sister the right to choose a mate until she turns to bones and fades from memory?”
Eybron had chosen his words well, and they stung like a fish-bone in the throat. Glide fumed over the hand that nature had given him, over the decision he now had to make. There was no way out of this for him – but one. He would have to swallow his pride.
“Alright.”
“Alright what?” asked Eybron devilishly.
“Alright you have my permission to mate with Star… but if she says no then the answer is no!” Glide shot at the grey wingtail.
“You have made the right choice Glide; I knew you would see the light. I expect her to meet me here at dawn, when the sun rises fully over the horizon, for our first date.”
“Yes, she’ll be here,” replied Glide submissively.
“Excellent… have a good night ëSon of Allisan’,”
And on that note Glide was dismissed, and he took off into the air towards home. His mind was swirling… how was he possibly going to tell Star about this? She would kill him for sure, but he had to do it. He didn’t have a choice.
Star would understand.
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Very, very nice chapter. :lol:
After reading this, I seriously need to read "Storm Tide" to understand the things between Thudd and Chomper.
The last part with Eybron and Glide surprised me a bit. So Eybron want's to mate Star? I thought he was much older, like an adult. :blink:
...everytime I hear Star's name, I get a racing heart... :p
Keep it up! It's getting really interesting now and I can't wait for the next chapter. :D
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You call that an extra long chapter? It ended way too soon! :p :lol
Seriously, though, it was fantastic! :smile Glide's trial and his being roped into the deal with Eybron were extremely well written. :yes The only details of the chapter I had issues with were the statements that Ruby’s father is dead (if I recall the epilogue of “Rise of Storm Tide” correctly, you said he lived long enough to at least see his children grow up) and that there is no word in Sharptooth for “friend”. (While the latter allowed for some amusing linguistic exchanges, I can’t imagine that sharpteeth are so universally asocial that none of them has ever developed a word for “friend”óthough I suppose I would be willing to accept that they do have one, but it is so rarely used that most sharpteeth are unaware of its existence.)
Also, while this isn’t a complaint, at the beginning of the part with Chomper and Ruby, I noticed what I thought might be a mistaken word choice:
At the end of the Farwalker Gorge the river emerged from the mouth of a deep, dark cave and flowed viciously past the two small dinosaurs as they transgressed its banks.
The most common definition of “transgress” is “to break a rule or to go beyond a limit” (I checked a dictionary on this). I wondered if the word you intended to use was “traversed” (traveled).
The good points of this chapter, however, far outweighed those that I would consider negative. My favorite parts were Ruby’s attempts at speaking Sharptooth. Those cracked me up. :lol Equally funny (though in a darker sense) was the part where Thud (I was wondering if he would make a return appearance in this fanfic) says something to Ruby that wasócoincidentallyóthe same as one of the misspoken Sharptooth phrases she used earlier.
I’m REALLY curious about what’s happened to Cera at this point. I remember Eybron mentioning something about other young dinosaurs being kept in caves for testing the Sonicron. :unsure: If that’s where Cera’s been taken, it would be interesting to hear part of the story from her perspective; her thoughts on her imprisonment and becoming acquainted with her fellow captives.
I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapter. Keep up the awesome work! :D
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The last part with Eybron and Glide surprised me a bit. So Eybron want's to mate Star? I thought he was much older, like an adult. :blink:
Things will become clearer soon, but on the human age scale Sky and Star are about in their twenties, which makes them older then the gang (though the gang does age as the story goes on) so mating is something that is not completely foriegn to them unlike it would be with Littlefoot and the others. Eybron would be in his early thirties by this assumption, so it would be reasonable to believe he might have a crush on her.
I'm glad you both liked this chapter! Since its still early in the weekend I might have to make another chapter, as a thanksgiving treat lol.
After reading this, I seriously need to read "Storm Tide" to understand the things between Thudd and Chomper.
The ending of Rise of Storm Tide is very plot woven, but here's the basic summation: Thudd breaks with Redclaw after he eats injured Screech, and is an anti-hero throughout the entire story. He's not a good guy, but in the end he steps in to help the gang (to his own benefit) and gets his revenge.
You call that an extra long chapter? It ended way too soon!
Extra long as in it was 3,990 words which is much longer then I usually write. Currently this is the longest chapter in the story... even so that I had to cut out the scene were Ruby and Chomper meet Cera in the cave (another chapter I suppose).
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Part IV:
When Littlefoot finally awoke from his long and hard-earned sleep the sun was just beginning to rise in the sky. The birds were singing in the trees and the sounds of insects twittered in the nearby reeds. Littlefoot was the first of the gang to rise from his slumber, but he didn’t bother to awake the others. There was no need to hurry now that Tyrus was off their trail, so realistically he didn’t even have to wake up at all, he could just lay back down again and rest for a while…
In the end his thirst won out over the urge to sleep, and Littlefoot lugged down to the river. In his half-awake state he sipped out of the stream, and after a good minute of drinking he felt satisfied. The longneck licked his lips and looked at his reflection in the water… only to see something horrifying looking back at him.
Littlefoot gasped in surprise, that couldn’t be him! There was a weird wrinkle underneath his eyes, and the lines on his face were totally different. What’s going on, what’s happening to him? He brought one of his wet feet up to his face and rubbed below his eyes to make sure it was real, that he wasn’t imagining what he saw. It was real… this really was his face.
Although he was disillusioned Littlefoot decided it wasn’t an immediate threat to his existence, so hunger won out and he padded along the side of the small river looking for a nice group of treestars to eat. The forest was tall and dark, but that also meant there was plenty of green food – provided he could reach it.
The dew on a nearby tree sparkled in the sunlight, making it look particularly tasty. Littlefoot reached up to get the leaves, and he stretched and stretched but it was too high. He would have to get at them another way.
“What’s the matter, too high for you?” said a familiar voice from behind him. With a start Littlefoot turned around to come face to face with a longneck he had known for a while, but it wasn’t Ali. He gasped in amazement.
“Shorty? Is that you?”
“Who are you calling short?” Shorty pressed as he advanced towards Littlefoot.
“It’s me… Littlefoot,” Littlefoot replied before adding, “You know… your brother.”
“Littlefoot,” Shorty repeated, before backing up a bit, “wow you’ve changed a lot since me and Bron came to the valley. How did you make it all the way out here?”
Littlefoot remembered what he saw in the river, and shivered in fear about how Shorty didn’t know it was him at first. Was he injured at some point along the way? Maybe it was the gas in the Land of the Mists, or perhaps it was something in the tunnels that did it.
“Is something wrong with me Shorty, with my face?” Littlefoot asked his brother desperately, but Shorty just laughed.
“It’s called growing up… it happens,” The green longneck said reassuringly as he used his front left foot to point out his face, which had a similar but less visible wrinkle underneath his eye, “see… it’s happening to me too.”
“Wow, you mean it’s normal? I’m supposed to look this way?”
“Well you’ve grown haven’t you? ... I couldn’t see either of us reaching a tree that high when we were just hatchlings,” Shorty commented.
Littlefoot looked at the tree, and for the first time he noticed that the world wasn’t as big as it used to be. He certainly had grown, but it had been so subtle he hadn’t noticed it. Who knows how long his face, his whole body had looked like this before it occurred to him that things had changed.
“Alright, so if you’re here… that means dad’s here too!” Littlefoot pointed out excitedly.
“Yep, we’re all here. This is our home.”
…
“Hey Ali, this is Shorty. He’s my brother,” said Littlefoot.
Ali, Petrie, Ducky and Spike had woken up to find Littlefoot talking with a strange longneck he had just met. Shorty had changed so much even the three of them that knew him didn’t recognize him. Ali of course, had never met Shorty before.
“You have a brother Littlefoot,” asked Ali as she raised an eyebrow in confusion, “why didn’t you tell me about him?”
“He was probably hiding me from you, and I don’t blame him,” answered Shorty, butting in front of Littlefoot before he could reply, “If I was friends with someone as pretty as you, I’d probably want to keep it all to myself too.”
“Thank you,” Ali chuckled, and Shorty smiled lustfully back. Littlefoot felt his temperature rising.
“We are glad to see you Shorty, we are,” Ducky said.
“Petrie glad too, only… me hope you pass longneck test this time.” Petrie added, and Shorty glared at him for the tease. Everybody but Ali and Shorty laughed.
“Hey Shorty can you take us to see my dad?” asked Littlefoot.
“He’s usually by the big willow, in the center of the forest,” Shorty responded, but he wasn’t looking at Littlefoot. He was staring at Ali.
“There’s a clearing there were he hangs around with the other adult longnecks – it’s not that far you should be able to find it on your own.”
“You’re not coming with us?” inquired Littlefoot.
“Na, I would like to show your friend around, if that’s what she wants,” Shorty replied, and he continued to smile at Ali. She looked uncertain.
“Well… it could be fun, but I think Littlefoot wants us to go with him.”
“I don’t care what Littlefoot wants, I’m talking about what you want. Someone as pretty as you deserves everything she wants.”
Shorty was clearly flirting with Ali, and Littlefoot would have none of it.
“She’s coming with me Shorty,” Littlefoot said forcefully. So forcefully that Shorty turned around and glanced angrily at him.
“Back off Littlefoot, she’s mine and that’s final.”
His brother lowered his stance, signifying he was getting ready for a fight.
“No it’s not!” Littlefoot yelled back.
“Oh yeah, what are you going to do about it?” baited Shorty.
Things were getting really ugly. Spike and Ducky backed up in fear while Petrie just covered his eyes.
“Me can’t watch this,” the flyer declared in fright.
Littlefoot ground his teeth and stepped forward defiantly. The moment he did so Shorty made the first move, and swiped his tail at his face. The blow glanced, but it hurt. With a snarl Littlefoot jumped at him and a horrible melee erupted.
Ali watched in shock as they shoved, butted and roared at each other. It was primal rage at its worst. After what seemed like an entire minute Shorty began to tire and Littlefoot charged hitting him right in the midsection and knocking the green longneck off his feet. The blow knocked the wind out of him, forcing Shorty to lie there on the ground trying to catch his breath. Littlefoot was breathing hard too… he limped up to his brother and addressed him with the contempt of the moment.
“Ali’s coming… with me.”
Shorty glared back at him and groaned in pain. Tears began to pool in the corners of his eyes. Slowly and surely he rose to his feet.
“I hate you Littlefoot,” he spat in a tone of voice barely above a whisper. He turned and limped back into the forest. After a few moments he was gone. The entire incident had lasted a minute and thirty seconds, but to Ali it had passed two quickly to comprehend. She didn’t know what to think.
“Littlefoot, that was very bad, it was, it was,” said Ducky as she walked next to him and looked up at her friend sadly. Littlefoot glanced down at her, and right then knew he had done something terrible. He needed to fix it.
“Shorty… Shorty wait!” Littlefoot called out after his brother, but Shorty was already gone.
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Bron was enjoying the pleasant mid-morning sun as he ate his breakfast. The clearing in the middle of the forest was a large an open area spotted with trees, making it an excellent feeding ground for longnecks who generally require a lot of space.
Today he was thinking… specifically, thinking about Shorty. His adopted son was evolving into a fine young longneck, and he seemed more eager to grow everyday. What concerned Bron was how many fights he was getting into almost on a daily basis. Losing both his parents was hard on Shorty, and Bron had tried his best to be a good role model but there was a part of Shorty’s nature he just couldn’t fix. Perhaps it was a scar that would never disappear.
“Hey Bron, there’s this flyer who says he needs to see you,” said a longneck about his age named Brayton, “he says it’s urgent.”
“Well send him over… I’m not busy this morning.” Bron responded kindly.
The flyer turned out to be a blue wingtail named Sky, someone whom he had never heard of before. Wingtails lived in the Feral Forest over the western mountains, but mostly kept to themselves and rarely left their homeland. It surprised the adult longneck to be hearing from one, so it must be important.
“So you believe that there is a threat to this valley… from a sharptooth named Tyron?” Bron asked.
“Absolutely… he pursued my friends and me through the Icy Peaks and the Cratered Glen with the intention of catching and killing us,” Sky summarized quickly, “Are we safe here in your forest?”
“Of course,” Bron laughed lightly, “no normal sharpteeth would dare come in here with this many of us to deal with.”
“Tyron is not a normal sharptooth Mr. Longneck, and I believe he will not just let us be here. I would advise taking precautions for your own safety and the safety of your herd.”
“Didn’t you hear him flyer?” interrupted Brayton harshly, “… no sharptooth would dare come in here with this many longnecks ready to drive him out.”
Bron ignored him.
“What ëprecautions’ do you want us to take?” the adult longneck asked curiously.
“Keep your children within sight at all times, and have those of your herd travel in pairs,” Sky suggested.
Bron thought about it for a moment, looking out over the field where nearly his entire herd was gathered and feeding. Hatchlings were joyously playing in the grass, while the parents reached into the tops of the trees to pull down bunches of leaves to feed themselves and their offspring. Bron made his decision.
“Those are well thought, but Brayton is right. We haven’t had sharptooth come in here ever before… but we do have a system in place to deal with them if they do. I will not impose restrictions on my herd without the presence of a real threat, but I thank you for feeling the need to come and warn us. It is appreciated.”
Sky opened his mouth to argue, but there was no point. The longneck leader of this forest had made his decision, and now he would have to live with it. His fate and the fate of his herd was now his own…
…
Littlefoot, Ali, and the rest of the gang walked along through the Forgotten Forest on the path that Shorty had told them to go. The trees were getting less dense and the great circle was making its presence known occasionally through the gaps in the greenery. Everyone looked happy at how lovely the day was, and how much green food around there was to eat – everyone except Littlefoot. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fight with Shorty, and just the events of the entire day. In one day he had found the lines of adolescence on his face, and fought his brother for a girl he liked. He was growing up really fast, and it was a strange and saddening thought. Unknowingly, the longneck started to fall behind the rest of the group. Ali stopped to let him catch up.
“Are you okay Littlefoot,” she asked.
“I don’t know Ali, today has just been so strange,” Littlefoot answered sadly.
Ali decided to cheer him up.
“You know… nobody has ever fought for me before.”
Littlefoot looked up at her in surprise, and found himself staring right into her eyes. Ali was smiling at him.
“I’m glad you care about me enough to want me around… Rhett was into himself too much to ever notice me.”
The two longnecks were really close together now, and their eyes were on level. Littlefoot’s heart started pumping really fast, and his vision started to blur.
“I-I’m sorry you had to see that… between me and Shorty it was wrong and I shouldn’t have–”
Ali interrupted him by leaning forward, and touching her nose to his. Littlefoot had never felt anything like it, not even when she kissed him at the edge of the Land of the Mists. It was like he was living a dream. The moment only lasted a few seconds, before they parted.
“It’s so strange Littlefoot, but watching you fight made me want to be with you even more,” Ali whispered into his ear.
“Hey Littlefoot you slower then belly-dragger, hurry up!” shouted Petrie from the air as he flew over their heads, spoiling the moment.
“I guess we have to go see your dad now,” Ali said disappointingly.
“Yeah,” replied Littlefoot without enthusiasm, before adding positively “come on you’ll like him.”
Now he had even more to think about then he had before, but this time all of his thoughts were centered on a single thing - his first real kiss.
…
The gang reached the open field just as the great circle was high in the sky, signifying noon. After a quick lunch, Littlefoot commenced the search for his father. It didn’t take a long time at all; as he was exactly were Shorty said he would be – next to the willow in the center of the field. Several other longnecks were there too, and they appeared to be speaking about something. Littlefoot ran with Ali close behind, and as he got closer he also spotted Sky in the tree listening in on the discussion with the longnecks. He had been wondering where the blue wingtail had run off too.
“Dad…Dad!” shouted Littlefoot as he ran.
Bron had been lying down, leaning on one of his paws in boredom when he suddenly heard the call and sprang up. The other longnecks turned to him in shock.
“Littlefoot?” Bron yelled back, “Littlefoot you made it!”
The two longnecks met at some point in the field, and Bron lowered his nose to touch Littlefoot’s.
“I knew one day you would find us here son, that you would find where my herd came from.” Littlefoot’s father said in a joyous tone. He was so glad to see his son again.
“I’m glad to see you too dad… but it’s because of Sky that we made it this far,” Littlefoot said as he smiled and looked to Sky in the tree. Bron turned and did the same.
“Well then, it would appear there is a lot more to our blue visitor then meets the eye,” Bron said so that all the other longnecks could hear him. They began to whisper amongst themselves.
“Yeah, there certainly is,” added Littlefoot with a smile.
Up in the tree several yards away Sky stood amazed. For all his intellect he had absolutely no idea that the elder whom he had been speaking with was related to Littlefoot, but even so it was a pleasant and excellent surprise. It meant that not only were they welcome here, but that they were honoured guests.
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Prince Tyrus awoke with a sharp pain to his side. It wasn’t a dull, burning pain like the one all over his body, but a slamming pain that comes from a kick to the side. He opened his eyes and roared, causing the ground to shake and rumble. The sharptooth turned on the ground like a snake to face his attacker.
“Has the hunt proved too difficult for our noble young prince, or did he simply forget to watch his step?” came the taunting words of a fellow sharptooth.
All around fast-biters made chattering sounds akin to laughter, each one mocking Tyrus’ prized image. He would not be embarrassed like this. Looking around the first thing he noticed was how unusually large and physically fit all the fast-biters looked… they certainly weren’t his kin. The long scars that ran from the tops of their heads to the tips of their noses revealed what they truly were. They were Tyron’s elites – the Stalkers. This meant that the sharptooth jeering him could only be royalty like him, their leader and his despicable uncle known as Tharon.
“Tharon, what is your miserable hide doing here? What dirty work has father got you doing this time?” Tyrus spat as he rose from the ground.
Once the prince was on his feet, the fast-biters stopped laughing. If there was one thing sharpteeth respected it was size, and once it became clear he was over three times as big as they were they shut their mouths. Tyrus was big, but unfortunately Tharon was bigger.
“The work of the Stalkers is none of your concern Prince,” Tharon snarled, “this entire hunt you have been senselessly leading my brother’s forces on ends right now. By his will, all of your servants now belong to me… I suggest you don’t challenge this and force my hand.”
A bird was circling above, and it cawed in delight at the scene that was conspiring below. Tyrus took one look up at it, before glancing at the forest that covered the entire sight line to his right. The bird’s name was Macaw, and he was a translator. If Macaw was here, as well as Tharon and a large bunch of his Stalkers, that could mean only one thing.
“You intend to assimilate that forest into Tyron’s domain?” pressed Tyrus.
Tharon snarled, along with a good bunch of his Stalkers. The Prince was right.
“Pretty smart aren’t you… just like your father,” Tharon said with contempt as he beckoned his fast-biters to follow him, which they did, “… and if you want to live to return to your father, you will stay out of my way.”
Tyrus’ face burned as the entire force of fast-biters, including his own, moved to follow Tharon into the Forgotten Forest. In total, there must have been over three dozen of them. Redgar passed him and hissed bitterly. Clearly the fast-biter didn’t think enough of him to be loyal beyond orders. He would pay for his disloyalty.
In Tyron’s empire the Stalkers were the only sharpteeth who were trained from birth to fight and kill. Freed of any need to hunt, they endlessly practised their skills and honed their art of death to one they could use at any time and in any place without hesitation. They knew how to stay in the shadows and the dark, and are supernaturally silent in their work. ëStalker’ was only the accepted name that most sharpteeth had for them. Amongst the lowliest of them, they were known as ëchild-killers’, and for good reason. Their primary target was children, to keep the leaf-eaters in line. A threehorn for example, if fully grown could defend itself from any attack, but it could not stop its children from being culled in their nests while they slept. Fear was a cruel and barbaric pinnacle of his father’s empire… one that he used often to ensure the food supply remained cooperative.
Prince Tyrus almost felt sorry for whatever lived in that forest, for death was coming their way.
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When Star awoke in the morning, the sunrise was just peeking into their family tree in the Feral Forest. It was a rude awakening however, as Glide told her what he had arranged for her on the previous night. She completely flipped out.
“You did WHAT!?!” Star yelled as Glide told her about her date with Eybron.
“I had to do it Star, I needed his help,” Glide retorted desperately, “I had hoped you would understand.”
“Understand? How did you possibly think I would understand you arranging a date for me, without my permission, on the morning I have to teach a class?”
“But Star –” began Glide.
“I’m not doing it… I’m not spending my day with the most cold-hearted wingtail in the entire forest just because you don’t want to fess up to your actions.”
Star was furious… she was so angry it was becoming difficult to speak.
“Calm down dear, please,” begged Aunt Fliela, “you’re waking up all the neighbours!”
“I only had one chance Star, we are family and we have to help each other out,” replied Glide desperately, “I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”
It took a few minutes for the situation to cool down, with Star sitting silently staring at the lines on the branch underneath her. Her tail wagged from side to side nervously as she thought about what to do, how to react to this. Her brother was desperate, and needed her help, but she had already given her heart to another.
“Glide,” Star said silently, “It’s just a date… right?”
“Yes, it’s only one day,” answered Glide, “you can just go wherever he takes you and refuse at the end… so I still get to keep our deal.”
Star didn’t answer for a few moments.
“Okay Glide, I’ll do it, but only because we are family and you really need my help.”
Glide lightly took hold of her hand.
“Thank you Star, I’ll make it up to you when I get back,” he answered.
“But what about Sky, will you hurt him?” Star asked.
“I can’t promise that this time, I’m sorry,” said Glide regrettably, “even if don’t participate, Eybron’s guards will end his life on their own – it’s what they do. I know you have something for him, but you have to learn to let go Star. He has betrayed us, and will pay the price.”
On that note a dark wingtail entered the tree. From his sturdy form and noble demeanour it was clear that he was one of Eybron’s guards and that he was here for Glide.
“Goodbye sis,” called out Glide as he left.
He didn’t see the tear running down her cheek.
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As I said I would, Part IV is complete and posted.
Because I have a Geological Excursion next weekend, I will not be posting Part V until the weekend after this one. Consider this next weekend's Part, just a week early! :lol
Also, I've been considering adding a title to all my chapters like I do for them when I post them on Fanfic.net.
What do you guys think?
For instance, instead of it looking like this:
Part VIII:
It would look like this:
Part VIII: The Loss of Innocence
Caustizer.
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Also, I've been considering adding a title to all my chapters like I do for them when I post them on Fanfic.net.
What do you guys think?
I like titled chapters. I’m all for it. :yes
Your portrayal of Bron in this chapter is very fitting with what we saw of him in LBT X: Moral and good intentioned, but underestimating of sharpteeth and (in my opinion) a bit overconfident. Shorty is also quite accurate, though even more pugnacious and headstrong than before. I commend you on both characters.
By the way, the “bird” character you introducedóMacaw; is he a sharpbeak (Ichthyornis), or an Archaeopteryx like the ones in LBT VII, IX, and X? Or some other kind of Mesozoic avialan that didn't appear in the LBT series?
I’m still not clear on whether you appreciate my sharing proofreading feedback here, or find it annoying, but I spotted two small errors in this chapter:
“Are you okay Littlefoot,” she asked.
There should be a question mark there.
even if don’t participate, Eybron’s guards will end his life on their own – it’s what they do.
You forgot the word “I” in there, between the two underlined words.
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Yes, it was another great chapter to read. ^_^
I'm enjoying this story more and more for every chapter you put up. :D
“It’s called growing up… it happens.”
Oh my, Littlefoot hits puberty. :lol
And Shorty too. I never thought I would see him again in this story, that makes it even better!
Ali interrupted him by leaning forward, and touching her nose to his. Littlefoot had never felt anything like it, not even when she kissed him at the edge of the Land of the Mists. It was like he was living a dream.
This was my favourite scene in this chapter. :yes
...
Also, I've been considering adding a title to all my chapters like I do for them when I post them on Fanfic.net.
Titled chapters... yes, that would be great. Would give an idea what it will be like :lol:
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By the way, the “bird” character you introducedóMacaw; is he a sharpbeak (Ichthyornis), or an Archaeopteryx like the ones in LBT VII, IX, and X? Or some other kind of Mesozoic avialan that didn't appear in the LBT series?
Sorry I ran by this fact so fast I didn't bother to make it as desciptive as it should have been. Macaw is indeed a sharpbeak, and he translates from leaf-eater to sharptooth and back. Prince Tyrus knows him because Macaw is a servant to his father.
Ali interrupted him by leaning forward, and touching her nose to his. Littlefoot had never felt anything like it, not even when she kissed him at the edge of the Land of the Mists. It was like he was living a dream.
This was my favourite scene in this chapter.
I'm glad you liked it. Love scenes are easy to write, but they are difficult to write well. They key thing here is that unlike Sky and Star in the next part (oops, spoiler :oops ) Littlefoot and Ali don't understand love, so simply saying 'I love you' would not only be corny and cliche, but it would also not make sense for them to say at this point in their lives. It takes a while before either of them really understands the true meaning of love, but as witnessed in the future scenes they eventually come around.
...
Something interesting that I've noticed about the story as I write it is how there is a bit of a "hate-o-graph" going on about the main villians of the story.
For the first act Tyron and Eybron - the big time villians - are barely introduced so the readers will tend to hate Glide the most because he has done the most wrong.
In the second act so far Glide has been beaten up both physically and verbally, and is forced to make a deal against his pride to attempt to win back his honor. Glide is afraid of what he's getting into, and things aren't looking good for him. I intended for some readers to actually start to pity him, though I'm not giving away anything that's going to happen in the next few chapters or Act 3.
Eybron is pushing his way back into the story, but he hasn't done anything overly evil apart from kidnapping Cera (which was undirected - his henchmen did it for another cause). Apart from his intentions to mate Star and his cold calculated ways, he could actually be percieved as a good guy (he's only against Sky at this point due to a misunderstanding). Eybron will become a more 'interesting' character as the story progresses.
Tyron, or at least his son Prince Tyrus is without a doubt the main villain of Act 2 so far, and from the things we have learned about him he's evil, dominating, and goes against the natural order of things in the dinosaur world for his own benefit.
Things are shaping up to look like this:
Most Hated Villian of Act I - Glide
Most Hated Villian of Act II - Tyron
Most Hated Villian of Act III - Eybron
Which is kind of interesting and unintended.
Of course, that's just how I think things are going to work out... I can't tell you who you hate the most it's up for you to read and decide!
Caustizer.
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Sky and Star in the next part? Now I'm getting even more excited! :wub
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Part V: Love and Hate
The frigid air chilled its way over Cera’s thick skin as the tree tops skirted below her at a break neck pace. The two wingtails who kidnapped her held on tight with their foot talons, so tight that her wrists felt like they were blistering. Despite this she had no choice but to hope they hung onto her, for the alternative was a steep drop towards the ground and a sudden, painful stop.
Of course when the two of them picked her up she had kicked and screamed with all her might, and tried to bite them a few times. There was one time she succeeded in nipping the left one’s ankle, only to have her other captor almost immediately claw her in the face in retaliation. The two wingtails were obviously twins, as they not only completed each other’s sentences but they also seemed to share the same interests too… not that she cared. It was spiteful how they kept pointing things out while they flew, like how “beautiful the spring was this time of year,” and how “cloudless and wonderful” the day was. They seemed to behave like they weren’t committing an offence against nature by kidnapping her, and it was just a normal day. Wingtails, at least the ones she had met so far, never failed to get on her nerves.
“Flying is always more pleasant when the wind is at your back, wouldn’t you agree?” remarked the darker of the two twins on her right.
The two twins were so sickeningly alike that they even flapped their wings in unison, and the dull throbbing sound was annoying in the extreme.
“Aye, but I always preferred flying into the wind… it means solid lift and easy gliding, but of course you’re correct as well due to the lack of need for wing beating,” replied the lighter one on Cera’s left.
“TouchÈ,” conceded the darker one. Cera had had enough of this.
“Will you knock it off? You two disgust me!” the threehorn shouted.
The two wingtails turned and gave her glowering looks of displeasure. She retorted by sticking out her tongue at them.
“You’re being awfully impolite, considering the situation in which you currently reside,” replied the darker wingtail in a wise-ass tone.
“Oh yeah? Well if you were gonna drop me you would have done it already,” stated Cera smartly.
Both twins looked at each other without responding to Cera’s bait, and after a moment seemed to come to a silent agreement between the two of them. It was a common occurrence.
“Tell me, are you a good swimmer little threehorn?” asked the darker of the two wingtails.
“Hah! You bet I am,” replied Cera confidently, “I’m the best in the whole valley.”
“Oh really…” commented the lighter wingtail, rolling his eyes. His darker twin snickered in amusement.
“Hey, what’s so funny?” pushed Cera.
“Nothing… it’s just your ignorance,” added the darker wingtail with a smirk.
Cera fumed at the indignity.
Nobody in the Great Valley had ever insulted her like this before… they all seemed to understand her need to feel better then everyone else. Who did these bird-brained idiots think they were laughing at her? Once they let her down she would give them a taste of her mind.
“I’m sorry I just can’t help but point out the irony of the moment,” smiled the lighter wingtail, “because not only do you claim to be the best swimmer in your valley, but you get to prove it for us.”
The two flyers with Cera in their bottom talons skirted a rocky ridge and flew out over a massive lake she had never seen before. The Abyss Lake was indescribably beautiful from this high, with light blue water so clear she could see all the way to the bottom in some places. She hadn’t wondered about what it was like to be a flyer, but at this moment she almost wished she was one so she could see the world like this anytime she wanted. At the center of the lake the water grew very deep and dark, and strangely enough it appeared to be ëcircling’ around a white misty cloud in the centre. A thunderous roar reached her ears.
“W-what’s that?” asked Cera nervously as she gazed at the Whirlpool. Even the two wingtails who had lived here all their lives were unnerved by it. More wingtails had drowned in the Whirlpool then from Jungle Runner attacks and sickness combined. It was a forbidden place for their kind to venture.
“Why, it’s your chance to prove to us how great of a swimmer you are,” taunted the lighter wingtail, “goodbye.”
Cera screamed as they let her go over the water.
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Ruby and Chomper made their way through the Feral Forest, pushing aside branches and treading carefully through a maze of broken sticks and plants on the forest floor. Thudd was in the lead, but many times he would sprint on ahead temporarily leaving them behind. It was his way of expressing his annoyance at their low progress. To pass the time and to practise speaking sharptooth Ruby and Chomper were playing a game of ëI See Around Me’ exclusively in that language.
“I see around me something that green,” said Ruby carefully in sharptooth. She knew most of the words now, but grammar was still an issue.
“Hmm, is it that leaf?” asked Chomper as he pointed upwards into the trees.
“No it not,” responded Ruby in amusement. The chain of growls sounded so weird coming out of the pink fastrunner’s mouth, but at least now Chomper could tell she had almost got the basics down.
“How about this one?” suggested Chomper eagerly.
“No,” sighed Ruby.
“This one?”
“No.”
“What about this one?”
This was really getting on Thudd’s nerves. Not only did he have to endure the little runner’s piercing accent and horrible grammar, but he also had to listen through their ridiculous game. He turned and in a sudden rush he snapped his jaws right next to Ruby’s face. She cried out and slipped backwards into the mud.
“My eyes when I’m tearing you and your friend to bits?” snarled Thudd.
“Umm… your eyes blue,” said Ruby after a bit of thought to get the right words. Considering his face was closer to hers then it had ever been, it was a fairly obvious observation.
Thudd’s eyes widened in surprise. He jerked his head to glance at Chomper, who was nodding at him.
“Ruby’s right Thudd, your eyes are blue.”
Thudd snorted in annoyance. What did it matter… as long as these two hatchlings stopped pestering him with their stupid game. Still, it was surprising that he had never known what colour his eyes were up until this point. It couldn’t be that he was colour-blind could it? He wouldn’t know even if he was.
…
After another hour of wandering through the woods, Thudd stopped in front of an imposingly large cliff near where the water of the Abyss Lake met the shore. The fast-biter turned to them and addressed them with distain.
“This is where they took the screaming whelp, up there.”
Without hesitation Ruby filed past and started to ascend the rocks. She jumped from rock to rock, and was making good progress thanks to her physical dexterity. Chomper stopped as he passed Thudd and the two sharpteeth met eyes.
“What do you want… little biter?” growled Thudd.
“You know we can still be friends any time you wanna be,” said Chomper as he smiled.
Thudd made an expression that Chomper had never seen him make before. It was not a smile, but it certainly was close. The little sharptooth didn’t know what it meant, but it only lasted for a second before being replaced by Thudd’s usual aggressive demeanour.
“We’ll see,” replied Thudd as he looked away.
Chomper waved at him goodbye, and followed Ruby up the cliff.
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Cera screamed for help as she pulled herself out from under the water. The current was moving fast and it was dragging her towards the Whirlpool at an alarming rate – there was no way she could fight it.
“Help me, help me please!” the threehorn begged as she was pulled under the water again.
The two wingtails looked on from above, laughing at her. When Cera finally pushed her way to the surface they were circling around just out of her reach. She struggled to stay afloat amidst the turbulent water.
“Having fun aren’t we? I thought you were the best swimmer in your valley,” taunted the darker one.
The thunderous roar of the Whirlpool was getting closer and closer, and Cera was fighting for her life. It was pulling her in, and if she didn’t fight it the current would drag her down to her doom.
“Help, help!” Cera choked above the overwhelming sound of the water. She could hate them later right now her life was on the line and they were her only hope.
“Oh fine, shall we?” suggested the lighter wingtail to his brother.
“I was willing to keep her in longer, but I suppose it’s for the best.”
With a fluid and thoroughly practised motion, the two wingtails scooped Cera up from the water with their talons, and pulled her free of the rampaging current. Another minute and she would have been swallowed whole by the maw of death itself.
“I trust we won’t have to suffer anymore unwanted outbursts?” the lighter wingtail teased with a mocking grin on his face. Cera just glared at him, and muttered something under her breath.
Her kidnappers took the threehorn to the banks of the Abyss Lake, to an imposing set of cliffs on the far east side. Here the waves smashed relentlessly against the rocks and carved out a set of caverns that pocketed the rocky wall staining its perfection. The two wingtails rose up higher, and then dropped her roughly on an outcropping that hung over the water. Cera rolled for a while, before coming to a stop against a hard stone. The wingtails landed behind her.
“You know, you should thank us for giving you such a nice ride little threehorn. Not many of your kind would get such a privilege,” the lighter wingtail pointed out.
“Hah, do you honestly think I’m going to thank you for all that,” Cera said as she snorted and scraped up some of the hard ground with her front left foot, “I’m gonna turn you into dead meat!”
Now that things were back on the ground, it was time for Cera to exact some revenge on her kidnappers. With a growling roar she charged. The wind whistled past her as she sliced through the air towards her taunting adversaries. Just as she reached them the cowards slid out of the way, causing Cera to charge right past. Unfortunately ëright past’ lead directly off the cliff, and just as she thought she was going to shoot off the edge one of her kidnappers grabbed her tail and yanked her back, throwing the helpless threehorn onto her back in the dirt. She could hear their cruel, mocking laughter.
“Good try, but before you attempt something like that you might want to be a bit bigger, or perhaps faster,” chided the lighter wingtail.
His darker blue companion picked up Cera by the scruff of her neck, and held her to his eye level. Unlike his brother he looked mad.
“We have had just about enough from you hatchling… now enjoy your new home.”
As Cera struggled and snapped at him with her teeth - to very little success - the wingtail walked up to a cave on the outcropping that she hadn’t noticed before. She had gone for vengeance before even looking around to see where she was. Mercilessly, he tossed her inside, which it turned out was a hole that went deeper into the ground. Rolling off the rocky walls, her tough skin kept her safe until she came to a stop at the deep, dark bottom of the hole. The ordeal was finally over.
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Sky knew where they were, and how close his homeland was. Some nights the fresh breeze would bring in the sent of the lily trees, or a faint whiff of the lake. It had been nearly a week since the gang and he had arrived at the Forgotten Forest, and now for sure he could say the children had found a place where they belonged. There were plenty of longnecks in the valley, and even some swimmers and spiketails too… so there was much fun to be had amongst the younger generation for the younglings under his care. The fact that Littlefoot had found his father and was spending an increasing amount of time with Ali, whom he clearly had a love interest in, was heartening and lifted a great weight off his wings.
It would be easier for them to accept it when he left.
Although he felt slightly bad for doing so, Sky knew it was the best for them to stay here. He had a job to do and it would be done a lot quicker without the burden of the younger dinosaurs on his back. It was not only that, but he was also worried about this ëPrince Tyrus’ who was now out to get him. The blue wingtail knew that Tyron was unlikely to push this far to the east, but territorial boundaries wouldn’t stop a sharptooth as hell-bent on his demise like Tyrus from tracking him down – provided the fiend survived the geyser blast to the face. Maybe Sky was lucky, and the sharptooth died from infection.
There was a sharp crack in the bush underneath his branch perch, and Sky rotated around to peer down at the cause. A pair of deadly yellow eyes looked up at him, scanning his frame for the plump and delicious meat it craved. The fast-biter was way too far down to be a threat to him, but even then it did not matter. Sky could tell by the mark on it’s forehead that it was one of Tyron’s elite spies, the Stalkers. Another fast-biter peered up at him too, before kicking his companion harshly for his lapse in duty. They weren’t here to chase after birds; they had more important things to do. The two sharpteeth turned away from Sky and prowled back into the woods. Sky looked away, and pretended the incident never happened. The ground walkers were no longer his responsibility anymore… their fate was their own.
…
The great circle was dipping low in the sky as Sky sat on a cliff facing the west and watched it go down, like he did every night. The sight of its beautiful glowing red colour reminded him of Star, and of the past life that he had lost. There was a time when he knew he loved her, but so many things had changed since then it was like he couldn’t even remember anymore. It was like the imagines and feelings in his brain had faded, to be replaced with a lingering guilt over all the bad things he had done. Even if he could see Star again, he doubted she would forgive him for what he did.
“Sky.”
It was only a single word, but it overturned his world in an instant. Sky turned on his feet to come face to face with the exactly wingtail he had wanted to see. Star. He couldn’t believe his eyes.
“I knew you would be here,” Star said as her eyes met Sky’s. She had landed on the cliff right behind him, and he hadn’t noticed.
“Star, how did you… why did you… how did you find me?” Sky stammered in his shock.
“Eybron’s wingtails said you were here, before they left with Glide to kill you.” Star responded sadly. A small tear pooled in her eye, and she looked like she was about to cry. Sky stepped forward and took her hand. He hated to see her this way.
“I’m so sorry Star, I didn’t mean it to happen this way,” Sky said to her in a half whisper. Star rubbed away the tear with her other hand, and sniffed.
“But why Sky, why did you not come back?” she asked desperately, “you left when the elders gave you your quest… but…but… you never came back. Why didn’t you come back, I was waiting.”
Sky shushed her to stop Star from crying.
“Has somebody hurt you?” he asked. They were still holding hands.
“Glide betrayed me,” replied Star with weeping still in her voice, “he tried to make me love someone else for his mistakes, after all the seasons he protected and d-defended me.”
Star started bawling again, and Sky pulled her in close. He felt bad for her, and he knew she needed him. Even after all this time, he still remembered the warmth of her feathers and the sweet sound of her voice. He rubbed the back of her rock lightly, and rocked a bit on his legs. After a moment or two she pulled back again, covered in tears and looking ashamed at how intrusive she had been. She sniffed again, and wiped her face in a bid to hide the water that covered it.
“I’m the one who’s sorry Sky,” Star said with a bit more toughness in her voice, “sorry for not seeing who I really belonged with, and not stopping Glide from hurting you.”
“It’s alright… really… I’m glad you came to find me,” Sky whispered with an encouraging smile, “I missed seeing you.”
Star sniffed again, and rubbed her eyes once more. When they opened, she turned towards him and said what she had really meant to say.
“Why did you leave and not come back Sky, why did you abandon me?” she asked with more fortitude.
“It’s… complicated,” responded Sky. He didn’t want to give the secret up.
“I don’t care how it complicated it is,” Star asserted, “I love you and if you love me you will tell me why you didn’t come back for me when I needed you.”
Sky looked into her eyes, and saw the depth of anguish she had experienced over him. It was far deeper then the current happenings with Glide, but now that the newness of their sudden meeting had passed he knew she wanted answers. If there was anyone in the world that deserved to know, it was her. Sky sighed.
“I didn’t come back because… I completed my quest, because I found the Eye of the World.”
“You found it?” asked Star excitedly, “but that’s excellent you can come home! If you return the Occular the elders will drop this… foolishness!”
The look on Sky’s face told Star that he couldn’t do it, that there was a deeper reason why he didn’t come home.
“But when I found the Eye of the World, it was… I can’t describe it. It was too horrible to put words to. Benzon abandoned it as soon as he created it hundreds of seasons ago, and when I found the reason he did, I knew I couldn’t come home. The elders demanded that I return with its location or not at all, and I couldn’t let something so terrible be revealed for everyone else to see.”
Star didn’t like Sky’s answer, and she expressed it.
“But what about us?” she shouted, “what about me, and you, and the love we shared, you were willing to throw that all away for some stupid quest?”
“Forgive me Star, but I did would I had to do. I didn’t want things to happen this way,” Sky begged, “I have thought of you everyday since they tore us apart, since the elders told us to never see each other again. I thought that maybe, after all the time I was gone, you had forgotten me.”
Star raised her hand to Sky’s head. For a moment he thought she was going to slap him, but it turned out she just wanted to feel the side of his face. She rubbed the side of his cheek under his eye, just where he liked it.
“I could never forget you Sky,” the red wingtail whispered to him.
The darkness had just begun to settle on the landscape as the great circle had nearly passed beneath the horizon. For once Sky was not watching it, but focusing intently on the beautiful creature in front of him, the love of his life. He was sure at this moment that he and Star were soul mates. The lust in her eyes shone like two blazing suns and his very world seemed to mould into a conscience view of her, because nothing else mattered.
It was impossible to say why, but at that moment Sky felt himself spring forward to meet her, and the two of them touched beaks. For what felt like an eternity, he felt the heat of her body pressed against his and the warmth of her breath on his face. The experience was so intense, it seemed like too much for the world of the living to bear. After a while they did separate, but Sky wasn’t done yet. His desire was too strong to hold back.
“Did you want to pick up where we left off… you know at the lake?” he asked her lustfully. She knew what it meant.
“I would love that.”
The two wingtails embraced once more, and it was so close that Sky didn’t notice her reaching into his wing and removing the Occular from its place of keeping. If Sky wasn’t going to return it, then she would do it for him and clear his name. Then they could be together… forever.
As the dusk’s last light faded over the horizon, they mated.
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I considered going into more detail with Sky and Star, but I'm sure it was best to simply leave things to the imagination :lol
It's looking like Act II may go over even eight chapters now... theres just too much to pack into one Act! Perhaps when I wrote this I should have thought more carefully about the length of each installment.
Caustizer.
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And again, another great chapter. :yes
Aww, poor Cera. First, her pride as the tough threehorn gets hurt and now she's being tossed into a deep, dark cave... :o
Luckily, Chomper and Ruby are coming to the rescue. :DD
But the best part of this chapter is the last one with Sky and Star (you knew I would say that :lol).
It just gave me a warm feeling while reading it. :wub
I think I'll wait one or two more chapters before I draw the next picture for Act II. ;)
It was impossible to say why, but at that moment Sky felt himself spring forward to meet her, and the two of them touched beaks. For what felt like an eternity, he felt the heat of her body pressed against his and the warmth of her breath on his face.
...
As the dusk’s last light faded over the horizon, they mated.
These totally made my day! :lol:
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Finally, another chapter with Cera in it! :DD (Not counting her brief adult appearance in the prologue, this is the first we’ve seen of her in Act II! :!) Too bad she’s having such an unpleasant time. I’d love to see her get back at those wingtail twins later on. <_<
That scene with Chomper, Ruby, and Thud was also really funny. :lol (I didn’t know Thud even had irises, let alone blue ones. :blink:)
I’m afraid I don’t have much feedback to offer on the love scene with Sky and Star (I regret to say that romance is a concept I’ve never been able to grasp :oops), but as far as I'm concerned, it was well written and not clichÈd at all. I also thank you for not “going into more detail”. :p
I noticed a few somewhat odd word choices in this chapter, some of which might be typos:
It was like the imagines and feelings in his brain had faded, to be replaced with a lingering guilt over all the bad things he had done.
Sky turned on his feet to come face to face with the exactly wingtail he had wanted to see.
The lust in her eyes shone like two blazing suns and his very world seemed to mould into a conscience view of her, because nothing else mattered.
I’m becoming increasingly curious on what “The Eye of the World” is. Sky mentioned that Benzon created it, so whatever it is, it’s apparently not a natural formation, and the way he talks about it gives me the impression that it possesses almost Lovecraftian qualities, if just seeing it was enough to make Sky decide to completely abandon his old life so as to not be forced to disclose its location. (Don’t tell me if I’m right or wrong on this; I’m thinking rhetorically and don’t want any spoilers. ;))
Come to think of it, eyes seem to a recurring theme in this story. In addition to the Eye of the World, there’s the Occular, the wrinkles under Littlefoot and Shorty’s eyes signifying their maturation, the significance of eye contact in the romantic scenes for both Sky and Star and Littlefoot and Ali, and even the humorous scene concerning Thud’s eye color. Was this intentional? Or am I just overinterpreting things again? :p
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Come to think of it, eyes seem to a recurring theme in this story. In addition to the Eye of the World, there’s the Occular, the wrinkles under Littlefoot and Shorty’s eyes signifying their maturation, the significance of eye contact in the romantic scenes for both Sky and Star and Littlefoot and Ali, and even the humorous scene concerning Thud’s eye color. Was this intentional? Or am I just overinterpreting things again? :p
Eyes is indeed a predominant theme throughout the story.
My left eye is broken in real life, so I see everything fuzzy out of it compared to my right eye... makes my vision sort of unique! Anyway the main villian 'Eybron' is also a play on the same theme, in the pronouncation of his name.
I have an interesting picture that I plan to post as soon as I get my scanner working... it is my inspiration for the story.
It's a plastic figurine someone created of a 'Gyroscopic Eye' tied by vines to the back of a carniverous dinosaur.
Caustizer.
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Eyes is indeed a predominant theme throughout the story.
My left eye is broken in real life, so I see everything fuzzy out of it compared to my right eye... makes my vision sort of unique! Anyway the main villian 'Eybron' is also a play on the same theme, in the pronouncation of his name.
Gah! I can't believe I forgot about Eybron! :slap :P:
Speaking of forgetting...holy buckets, you already mentioned the eye theme in your "Ask Me" thread (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=6368&view=findpost&p=9144633)! :blink: And in response to a question I asked! :slap Given that I read that response, I apparently completely forgot about it, noticed the story's repeated allusions to eyes on my own, and then asked about it here! :wacko It appears that once again I have raised the bar for absentmindedness. :oops
At any rate, I really like the optical theme. :) And that's interesting how it sort of ties in with your own unique eyesight.
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I have some good news and some bad news
The good news - it looks like there are still 14 chapters to go in this story in total, hooray for 14 more exciting chapters to read and review!
The bad news - this is about as nice and lovely as the story gets - past this point the story gets darker, characters die, and acts of murder and mayhem will abound! Thats not to say there aren't any happy moments, but just don't be surprised when I the meaning of the "Black Dawn" becomes clear.
Caustizer.
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Nice to hear some news. :yes
But it kinda spoils a bit what happens next... but only a little. :p
So there is 14 more chapters to read... then I'll wait 14 more weeks. :lol
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The bad news - this is about as nice and lovely as the story gets - past this point the story gets darker, characters die, and acts of murder and mayhem will abound! Thats not to say there aren't any happy moments, but just don't be surprised when I the meaning of the "Black Dawn" becomes clear.
In that case, let me warn you in advance that most of my reviews will probably be accordingly non-cheerful. Just remember it’s nothing personal; really dark LBT stories just aren’t my favorite thing in the world. :p
By the way, I think I now have a suspicion about the nature of “The Eye of the World”, and what the “Black Dawn” is, but I’m not going to share it, for fear of being right and ruining the story for everyone else.
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Could you PM me your suspicions about the Eye of the World and Black Dawn Pangaea? I'm not going to confirm if your right or your wrong, I just want to know how good I have been at dropping hints about their nature as the story goes on. :lol
The idea I was going for was that when the reader finds out about these things, they are surprised but not confused. If they are not properly referenced throughout the story, people might get confused over whats happening. :confused
Caustizer.
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Well...I didn’t really get any hints from the story; :oops the idea just popped into my head after I read your last post. Frankly, I assumed that telling it to the author would be as bad as (or even worse than) blurting it out in front of all the readers, as I thought that most authors don’t like their readers to be able to guess the endings of their stories ahead of time. (I can also envision a worst-case scenario in which the author likes the idea I came up with better than what was planned for the story, when the original idea has already been irreversibly implemented. Given my contemptible creativity levels, I doubt this would happen, but I’m nonetheless reluctant to risk it.)
I may be misunderstanding your concern about dropping hints (I personally think you’re doing well :)), but considering that my suspicions were not inspired by them (though the reference to the Eye of the World at the end of the last chapter was probably the initial catalyst for my pondering), I’m not sure if what I have to say will be helpful. I’m willing to tell you, but only if you’re really, REALLY sure you want to hear it.
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Hints? Now I feel really dumb for not reading the story carefully... :oops
I'm not such a good reviewer, I just enjoy reading it. :unsure:
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Don't worry about it Sky, I'm not THAT good that I'm working hints that subtle into my story on purpose.
At this point it's pretty safe to say that:
1) The Black Dawn is very terrible, even for a dark Land Before Time story
2) The Eye of the World is an object that was created, and it is dangerous.
All the rest will be revealed over the next 14 gorious.... ehm I mean glorious chapters!
(For those who just got the hint, I was just kidding)
Caustizer.
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Hey Caustizer!
I've been reading through your current fanfic and I've gotta say it is top notch stuff! ;) I know I'm playing catch up at the moment (I've got to chapter 8 so far I think). Loving the writing style, the fluidity of the prose and the narrative perspective (flicking between the event that transpired and the story telling of present day). You write really well! I've been making bulk reviews on FF.net every few chapters I get through. Hopefully I'll get through them all soon so I'll be up to speed on the whole plot but it's all grand so far! Nice job! ;)
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Regretfully I must delay the Far Away Home project for a while. This is for a multitude of reasons, but mostly its because of the decreasing level of commitment I can put into writing the story due to outside events.
From now on I'm going to post chapters on a "when complete" basis.
I apoligise to all the loyal readers who were expecting another chapter today :cry
Caustizer.
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It's Ok. We can wait. :yes
Just don't force yourself. ;)
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While I couldn't help but feel a little sad to hear that news, I understand (and identify with :rolleyes) your situation completely. :yes
On the plus side, this will give Littlefoot1616 time to catch up on the chapters.
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Arg, it's mid week and I feel terrible for breaking my routine and failing to produce another chapter for my story. Maybe it's fueled by the fact I'm two months in and I'm still only half done... there's a heck of a long way to go!
Apart from Rise of Storm Tide, I'm pretty notorious for not finishing things.
I feel a bit absurd for asking this, but could you guys (or gals) think of something to inspire me to keep going? A wierd feature of my personality - one which I'm willing to admit - is that I tend to obsess over something for a brief period of time to the exclusion of all else, and then suddenly wake up one day and switch interests. This tends to leave things unfinished quite a bit :lol
Caustic
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Don't worry about it so much Caustizer! I quickly fell out of the habit of writing a chapter a week when I first started fanfic writing. It does happen but give yourself credit. It's a tough routine to try and upkeep especially when you've got so much happening on a day-to-day basis. Just continue as and when you get the time. Your loyal readers (as you kindly put it ;)) will still be here. And as Pangaea said, will give me a chance to catch up with what you've done so far! :lol
Inspiration for continuing? Well, I think you said it yourself. You have a loyal fanbase who enjoy reading your story and are eager to see how the events will transpire. You've got a good solid plot, a wonderful narrative and your readers are hanging on your every word. No one can make you do something you don't want to do but you've come this far already, it would be a shame for you to ditch it all now. Too many good fanfics are left incomplete. It would really be a bummer if yours fell into that category as well. Just take your time with it. Less frequent posts doesn't mean the story's quality will degrade. If you need a break, take one. I know I'm gonna want to see the end of this story ;)
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Apart from Rise of Storm Tide, I'm pretty notorious for not finishing things.
I feel a bit absurd for asking this, but could you guys (or gals) think of something to inspire me to keep going? A wierd feature of my personality - one which I'm willing to admit - is that I tend to obsess over something for a brief period of time to the exclusion of all else, and then suddenly wake up one day and switch interests. This tends to leave things unfinished quite a bit :lol
All of that sounds an awful lot like me. :rolleyes I’m feeling rather inspirationally impoverished right now myself, but I’m always willing to make a donation. :p
Not sure if this will help or not, but I’m glad to know that there’s still so much ahead. As much as I’ve been enjoying this story so far, I would find it immensely unfulfilling if the stage was set for the finale right now, and the end was already in sight. However, knowing the precise number of chapters remaining also means that the remainder of the story will be like a countdown; thus I am inclined to prolong and cherish the anticipation and enjoyment I get from this story as much as possible. Therefore, it doesn’t matter to me in the slightest if new chapters are not added on a regular, weekly basis, provided that the story gets done eventually. A fanfiction whose chapters are leisurely and meticulously written is infinitely preferable over a rushed fanfic with chapters always delivered on schedule. Like Littlefoot1616, I would dread to see “Far Away Home” added to the tragic list of great LBT fanfictions that were never completed, and if there is any risk that that may happen, I will do anything I can to help prevent it.
If what I have said here hasn’t served as effective inspiration, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. :p However, as always, you are more than welcome to converse with me via PM, so that I may provide suggestions, share opinions, or otherwise offer any assistance I can. :)
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I've been thinking about this for the past couple days, now I'm deciding to do it.
I'm splitting Act II: The Black Dawn into two seperate Acts, to balance out the number of chapters in each one.
The Acts will now be ordered as Follows:
Act I: The Hunt for the Occular
- Prologue: Sky's Tale
- Part I: The Mysterious Earthshake
- Part II: Eviction and Justice
- Part III: The Sonicron
- Part IV: The Land of the Mistless
- Part V: Division
- Part VI: The Three Evils
Act II: The Wraith of the Tyrant King
- Prologue: Tyron's Story
- Part I: Seperated
- Part II: In Hot Water
- Part III: The True Villian
- Part IV: A Mature Lesson
- Part V: Love and Hate
- Part VI: Assimilation
- Part VII: Escape and Imprisonment
Act III: The Black Dawn
- Prologue: Eybron's Story
- Part I: Lies and Betrayal
- Patt II: The End of Innocence
- Part III: Amongst the Ashes
- Part IV: The Long Claw of Tyron
- Part V: The Good Turned Bad
- Part VI: The Grand Creator
- Part VII: The Eye Returns
Act IV: The Eye of the World
- Prologue: The Eye Revealed
- Part I: Journey Into the Abyss
- Part II: A Desired Alliance
- Part III: The End of an Empire
- Part IV: Blood and Fire
- Part V: The Shattering
- Part VI: The End of Things
- Epilogue
...
I'll get to work changing it right away on Fanfiction.net and on the beginning post of this thread.
You'll notice I included the names of ALL the chapters. They are subject to change as I continue to write the story, but for now feel free to interpret the happenings of the rest of the story as you like. I won't be giving any hints :lol
And btw, its not 14 chapters to go its 18 counting the prologues... see what I mean about making more work for myself? :DD
Caustizer.
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The last act sounds pretty awesome. :lol: I can picture quite some scenes there. :lol
As for the inspiration to keep going, I suggest you take your time or just take a break.
It would be truly sad if this one would be left uncompleted... :cry
Yeah, I know, I'm not much of a help to motivate someone... :unsure:
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Thanks to Sky's ever brilliant artwork, here is another piece. This time, it is a picture of Glide.
Glide (http://q55.img-up.net/Caustizer-sd7z.PNG)
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^ Wow, that's awesome! :DD
I absolutely LOVE his expression and pose. If Glide ever had his portrait painted, I bet it would look exactly like that. :lol
Great work, Sky! :)
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Good news, the next installment of Far Away Home will be finished by tonight... hooray!
Also, hooray for me becoming a Queen (Cera) on this very post!
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And to complete the three cheers, hooray for the longest chapter to date - 4012 Words.
Part VI: Assimilation
The Forgotten Forest, for all its weird food and above normal temperatures, was actually very similar to the Great Valley. The first thing Ducky noticed was how there were a lot more longnecks here then she was used to. The young swimmer had nothing against longnecks… in fact she would be friends with anybody who wanted to play! But therein lied the problem; the games the residents of this forest played were the type that only a certain kind could participate in – like Tree Munching, Drinking Contests (water of course), and aggressive games like Seed Charging. It’s not that the young longnecks didn’t want to include her and Spike, it was just that they weren’t used to having to accommodate friends of different types. So inevitably, Ducky, Spike and Petrie found themselves sitting and watching, while dozens of longnecks had their fun.
There was a time when Ducky did not understand why Ali didn’t want to play with them, back when they first met, but now it seemed all too apparent. Ali had only ever played with other longnecks before, so she must have been intimidated by them at first. The changes that Littlefoot was going through recently were similar to those that some of the older longnecks were experiencing. The change had come for Ducky too, but unlike Littlefoot for her it was on the inside. She was coming to realize that the world was not as nice a place as she imagined it was.
“Hey Ducky, Spike, isn’t it great here!” proclaimed Ali as she waded in from the river and shook herself off.
The other longnecks were playing a pretty rough game of water toss the seed, which unlike the Great Valley version featured no rules in regards to contact. Were Ducky in the mood, it might have been fun to watch them beat their teeth out. As it was though, she was feeling left out and couldn’t share in Ali’s enthusiasm.
“It’s alright… I guess,” sighed Ducky as she sunk into her hands. Spike let out a groan of boredom, and slunk down to his belly.
“Aww come on guys, your ruining the fun,” stated Ali, but none of the three of them looked too happy.
“There no fliers here, it so boring,” added Petrie as he lied down on Spike’s back. Another longneck broke off from the game, which was picking up quite a bit now that the score was tied, and joined the group of them on the riverbank.
“Nah, it’s because the wingtails chased them all out,” snorted Shorty, who had gotten over his fight with Littlefoot. Ducky rose up suddenly at the comment.
“You mean-ed there are more like Sky?” she asked.
“Oh yeah, over the Spiketail Hills there’s tons of them,” responded Shorty casually, “I wouldn’t go over there though… they’re pretty stuck up.”
“What do you mean?” asked Ali in alarm. She had thought that, apart from the one that attacked Sky in the caves, wingtails were nice and intelligent creatures.
“Last time one of the hatchlings wandered over there, they nearly ate him,” replied Shorty, “luckily his folks were nearby to drive them off. That’s why beyond those Hills are off limits – it’s where they live.”
“Hey, flyers!” exclaimed Petrie excitedly.
The group of them turned their heads towards the sky, and sure enough a group of no less then five wingtails was gliding over the glen. Four of them seemed to be concentrating on the path ahead of them, while another black one darted from side to side, scanning the ground for something. As the echelon passed over the pool of playing longnecks and the group on the shore, Ducky recognized the wingtail as the one who attacked them in the cave. From this close, he looked even more menacing.
“That one is bad, he attacked us in the cave, he did!” called out Ducky.
“What, he attacked you guys?” interrupted Shorty as he stomped on the ground in rage, “let the overstuffed freak come down here and I’ll teach him a lesson. Nobody hurts Ali on my watch.”
Ali sighed and lowered her head to the water to take a drink. Littlefoot wouldn’t be happy if he found out Shorty was flirting with her again. It was probably best not to tell him.
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Bron had approached Littlefoot that morning and offered to take him on a trip through the woods, to show him around as well as to get some “father-son time”. His father had been quite busy lately, between discussions regarding supposed sightings of sharpteeth within the forest – dismissed as illusions – and the awkward behaviour of their closest neighbours the wingtails. On top of this, Bron was invited to a few nests at the last minute to watch baby longnecks hatching from their eggs. The mothers of the valley had deep respect for him, even though he had not chosen another mate.
As the morning sun rose higher in the sky Bron trudged along slowly as Littlefoot followed him. Littlefoot was absolutely full of things to talk about, and his father all too happy to entertain him.
“This is such a beautiful place dad… how did you find it?” the young longneck asked.
“The herd and I have wandered quite a bit over the past few seasons Littlefoot, just like our kind always has, stopping only to rear the young. After we visited your valley, many of us came to realize that we were better off finding a place of our own to settle down… a place where we could always eat and be safe from sharpteeth. This forest was lush, green and empty… it was the ideal choice.”
“But what about the Great Valley, you could have stayed with us, with me. There’s plenty of food for everybody,” said Littlefoot as he jumped up briefly on a rock and then hopped back down. Bron laughed lightly at the comment.
“Oh I don’t think there would be enough room for all of us, not to mention the reception we got from your neighbours the last time we came for the Longneck Test,” Bron responded matter of factly.
Noticing that this conversation wasn’t going anywhere productive, Littlefoot decided to ask another question.
“Dad, what’s happening to me?”
The question was so surprising, Bron stopped and curled around his massive neck to face Littlefoot directly on the ground.
“What do you mean Littlefoot?” he asserted.
Littlefoot shied away a bit, and looking down at the ground in shame he batted a rock with his foot.
“Well, a few great circle rises ago I went to the river for a drink and I noticed my face had... changed.”
Bron laughed in a friendly manner.
“Don’t worry Littlefoot, your just growing up. I remember when I was your age it happened to me too… mysterious lines under my eyes, and some feelings I’ve never had before.”
“Did you ever, you know, get this weird feeling whenever you were around a girl?” asked Littlefoot a bit timidly. He decided not to mention the fight with Shorty.
“Of course I did Littlefoot, you are in love,” Bron answered.
“In love,” repeated Littlefoot as he raised an eyebrow in confusion, “but, it will go away right as I get older?”
Bron stretched forward and licked Littlefoot with his long tongue, knocking him back. Littlefoot laughed, as a faint childhood memory surfaced of his mother doing the same. When he was around Bron, it was like she was with him again if in part.
“I’m afraid not, love is permanent and carries with you for the rest of your life. It was like that between your mother and I when we were kids,” Bron recalled.
There was another question Littlefoot wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure how to word it properly. In the end he decided to make it up as he went.
“Dad, there’s more to it then just this… weird feeling right?”
Bron frowned. There was more to love then just affection and desire, but he wasn’t sure it was time to reveal it yet. Littlefoot was just coming of age, and it was up to him to discover the most important pact love possessed. If it was a tale of a story speaker, then it was up to his son to reach the ending of his own accord. It took the large longneck a few moments to compose his answer.
“There is, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you that part. It is for you to find on your own.”
“But what if it comes, and I don’t know it when I feel it?” asked Littlefoot in fear.
“You will know, trust me,” reassured Bron.
He remembered his first mating, back when he was still a young adult with barely the second line under his eyes. He had feelings for another female, a young beauty who sat beside him during story times and played together with him and his friends during the day. They sat talking together one night under a shady tree and it just sort of… happened. Their relationship didn’t last however as she found another male more suitable to her tastes. Such was the fickle nature of love, but as fate would have it Littlefoot’s mother proved to be the girl of his dreams. He still hadn’t forgotten her even so many seasons after her death, and he saw her everyday in their son whom he was now raising. The Great Circle sometimes had a funny way of doing things, but often it worked out for the best.
…
Bron’s tour of the valley ended up turning into one long walking conversation between him and Littlefoot. They caught up on each other, joked around a bit, and the large longneck even showed Littlefoot the `top-secret` diving rocks where he could have lots of fun jumping from a huge height into the water below. It wasn’t until later that afternoon that they were hailed by some unpleasant guests.
The five wingtails found them just as they were enjoying their dinner in a forested glen on the east side of the river. They landed in the trees nearby, and one of them piped up.
“Now listen here longneck, we’re here to-” began Glide aggressively, but he was cut off by one of Eybron’s senior guards present with a wing slap to the flank.
This situation was far too delicate to be so careless, since they were addressing the leader of their neighbours. As if relations weren’t strained enough without Glide making an ass of himself and their kind. The black wingtail glared at his attacker with contempt, and crossed his arms in displeasure.
“We are here seeking the one known as Bron, the acknowledged leader of these herds… would you happen to be this longneck?” asked the most senior of Eybron’s guards.
“That would be me,” responded Bron, but he didn’t stop eating nor turn to face them.
It was his right and dignity, considering this was a surprise gathering and not one they bothered to inform him about. There was a time when he respected and admired the creatures, but after so many quarrels with them, sometimes over senseless things like attacking hatchlings, he had lost his patience.
“Good, we are here seeking another of our kind, one who has committed crimes against his fellows and must be returned for justice,” the senior wingtail said officially, “this one goes by the name of Sky.”
Through the tree Bron could see Littlefoot on the other side and out of view of the wingtails. His son had stopped feeding and was shaking his head. Bron took note of the gesture and turned to respond to his guests.
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t heard of someone of that name. He mustn’t be bad; otherwise I would have had to deal with him already.”
Bron’s scorn was not lost on Eybron’s guards, and many of them scowled with distaste.
“Very well, then we request that you allow us to search your valley for any trace of his presence,” the senior replied.
Bron saw no reason to deny them this.
“You may, but don’t make any trouble. There are lots of hatchlings around in these times and there will be no tolerance for any sudden aggression. Am I clear?” Bron asserted.
All the guards ruffled their feathers in insult, but Glide didn’t. Something caught his eye that was moving in the tree behind the large longneck, and he squinted to get a better look.
“Move out,” commanded one of Eybron’s wingtails, and all of them but Glide departed.
Suspicious, Glide decided to conceal himself within the leaves and he shimmied over slightly on the branch so he was out of side. After about a minute Bron looked around, and turned to the bushes.
“Okay Littlefoot, they’re gone… you can come out now,” he said.
Littlefoot emerged from the other side of the tree and swallowed a mouthful of treestars. After he had taken care of that, the young longneck turned to his father.
“Thanks dad, those wingtails have been after us from the start… after Sky,” Littlefoot summarized with a tinge of bitterness.
“Well then it’s a good thing I didn’t tell them about your friend, now at the very least they don’t know he’s here.”
It was all Glide needed to hear. His eyes narrowed with anger, and he hissed at Littlefoot from the tree. The small longneck jumped back in shock, and Bron growled from the depths of his throat.
“Go on, get out of here!” Bron shot venomously as he used his tail to swat at the tree branch Glide was resting on, “scram!”
Glide took off long before the clumsy longneck could hurt him, and continued to hiss at the both of them as he departed. There would be a reckoning for these ignorant longnecks, one way or the other. First in line though, was the fate he had in mind for the traitor Sky when he found him.
Bron snorted as he watched the cowardly creature flee from his wraith, before turning with a dire look towards Littlefoot who returned with a worried expression. Contrary to the best efforts of Eybron’s guards, Glide had managed to make an ass of himself towards their neighbours.
…
The two longnecks were so distracted by the whole episode with the wingtails, that they didn’t notice the sound of claws skirting through the leaves, or the suppressed growls of hate and blood that advanced through the woods. They didn’t notice the eleven sets of devilish yellow eyes watching them hungrily from the bushes, or the almost silent snarled command of attack.
After a week of waiting, watching and lurking Tyron was finally making his move.
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Sky literally felt like he could walk on air. The morning sun was warm and pleasant on his feathers when he awoke that morning, and it was like the entire world had lit up to his occasion. Last night was probably the best night of his life, and when they finally drifted off to sleep Star had pressed against him with her head and rested against the side of his neck. The feathers on the back of her head brushed against his chin, sending chills up his spine. It was disappointing when he awoke that morning, early as always, to find she was gone.
It could very well have been a dream, but Sky didn’t think so. For starters, he felt so light and carefree today that it couldn’t have been a dream. He loved her, and she loved him back, and he had been given the chance to express it. He really wanted to see her again, and perhaps settle down with her for the rest of his life. Now all there was to do was to end this charade… he would have to return the Occular.
Sky tapped the inside of his wing, but there was nothing. The wingtail gasped in shock, Star must have taken it! His feeling of elation disappeared with the wind as it dawned on him that she probably used him to get at the eyeglass. It couldn’t be, he thought, their experience was just too intimate, too real to be fake. Either way, she had the Occular now and was probably taking it back to the elders on her own. If he was lucky, the deed would clear his name so he could finally come home.
The blue wingtail flew around for most of the morning, lost in his thoughts. Around lunch time he found a nice pool to go fishing in. After a few passes he managed to snatch a good one out of the water. Landing on the bank, he proceeded to bang it on the rock to kill it so he could eat.
Nearby, a trio of young longnecks watched with curiosity. Their parents told them scary stories about wingtails, saying that they would come gobble you up if you misbehaved. Now that one was here in person, was it here to eat them up for being bad? One of the group, a small beige female, got too close and slipped in the mud. She cried out in surprise as the dirty ground carried her right down to where Sky was by the pool.
There was a moment of awkwardness as their eyes met, before the longneck barely older then a hatchling burst out crying.
“Please don’t eat me, I’ll be good, I’ll be good I promise!” she hollered through the tears.
Sky had seen some fairly amusing things in his life, but this one took the sweet bubbles. He set the now limp fish down onto the rock and set about reassuring the youngling.
“There, there, I’m not going to eat you,” The blue wingtail said.
“You’re… not?” the child asked timidly as she sniffed.
“Of course not… we only eat water-swimmers and other things that live in the lake. The mean ones will sometimes scare you, but really your too big for us to eat,” Sky lectured as he symbolized some of the things he said with hand motions so the child would understand.
“So… you’re a nice one?” inquired the child who had for the most part stopped crying.
“You might say that,” chuckled Sky.
“Help, help… Sharpteeth are in the forest, help!” came a sudden shout through the forest.
A middle aged longneck came roaring through the trees a hundred meters away. He continued going through the forest, repeating the message over and over inciting panic in the sparsely group longnecks, who rushed to find their children as chaos set in.
“Oh no, what have I done,” whispered Sky in horror as he remembered the fast-biter he saw in the forest the day before. He had been so caught up with Star he had completely forgotten about it.
In a shot the wingtail took off from the riverbank, leaving the dead fish on the rocks. If Tyron was here then he would go first for the leader of the herd – Littlefoot’s father.
…
The fast-biters attacked so quickly that Littlefoot barely had time to cry out before they were on him. Seeing he was doomed the longneck sunk to the ground and covered his head to wait for the end. Bron jumped forward to protect his son as fast as he could, but due to his enormous bulk he was too slow. To Littlefoot’s surprise, the fast-biters ignored him entirely, and one of them even hopped onto his back and off again as he moved forward. It was clear that they were here for Bron and Bron only.
The large longneck roared with defiance and rage as they snapped and slashed at him, targeting his calf muscles. The sounds of the fight reverberated throughout the entire area and through the screeches and hisses of the fast-biters and Bron’s low pitched roars the crescendo was as deafening as it was brutal.
“Dad!” cried Littlefoot out in alarm.
“Go Littlefoot, run away as fast as you can!” his father shouted desperately.
Blood was now running down Bron’s legs from the places where the sharpteeth had bitten him, and they weren’t relenting either. The longneck was ten times each of their size, but there were so many of them he was being overwhelmed. One of them hit the mark, and slashed the muscle on his left rear leg. Unable to sustain his weight anymore Bron fell to the ground and continued to fight off the rest of the pack in anyway he could.
“Run Littlefoot, run!”
Littlefoot was so traumatized he stood on the spot, staring at his father and trembling in fear. For the second time in his life, things were happening so fast that there was nothing he could do. In moments, his father would be dead and they would come after him with blood and murder in their eyes. There were no friends here to help him now, they were either far over the horizon or way out of his reach… he was alone.
A piercing, rumbling roar reverberated through the trees and stopped the fast-biters in their tracks. With unerring discipline they halted their attack, leaving Bron bloodied but alive. Tharon was approaching.
Sky swooped down from the air and landed right next to Littlefoot. One look around and he knew exactly what was going on… they had to leave and leave right now.
“Littlefoot, come with me we have to go!” shouted Sky.
The young longneck didn’t listen… he was still staring straight forward at his father. The wingtail could clearly see he was going into shock.
“Snap out of it!” cried Sky and he regretfully slapped his friend hard in the side of his head with his wing, “Tharon is coming… he’s here for your father and if we don’t go now we’re next!”
“Huh, Sky?” asked Littlefoot in a daze, “Wha… who is Tharon?”
“It doesn’t matter, come on!”
Sky pushed Littlefoot towards the dense brush and the longneck obeyed. As the two of them disappeared into the ferns the fast-biters made no attempts to follow them. Their job was already done… Tyron had gotten his wishes of them. Now it was up to Tharon to fulfil his task.
The massive sharptooth approached slowly, taking his time. It wasn’t like he needed to hurry, the prey wasn’t going anywhere. As he neared the downed longneck, he tightened his lips revealing rows and rows of deadly teeth. This was his favourite part of the show.
“I’m not afraid of you, sharptooth!” called Bron as he rose his head off the ground to fully observe his killer.
Tharon snarled, it was more fun when they had some fight in them. He opened his jaws as he closed in for the kill. Bron let out a massive roar of defiance and hit, and then closed his eyes to receive his death. A moment later, the air was split by a thunderous snap.
…
Littlefoot heard the roar and came out of his stupor.
“Dad, No!” he shouted.
The longneck tried to go back, tried to make any attempt at all to save his father his closest living relative, but it was too late. There was nothing he could do. Sky landed in front of him, stopping Littlefoot from running back to his doom.
“It’s over Littlefoot, there was nothing you could do,” Sky said calmly.
“No, it can’t be, not again,” sobbed Littlefoot.
Tears were pooling in his eyes and starting to drip down his face. Sky sympathized with his friend, but they had to leave this place and leave it now. It was wrong to have stopped here for so long.
“Come, we must find your friends before those sharpteeth do if we are to have a chance of escape.”
Littlefoot took his front foot and wiped the tears from his eyes. He could be sad later… now was a time for action. Sky was right. With this task and the sharpteeth on their minds, Littlefoot completely forgot to tell Sky about the wingtails that were after him. It would turn out that it didn’t matter… they would meet soon enough.
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Poor Bron. I had a feeling that he would die in this story. I feel even sorrier for Littlefoot; having already lost his mother to a sharptooth attack, the same thing’s now happened to his other parent. :( I also can’t help but feel a little irritated at Sky, for not warning them about the Stalkers. <_<
While far less tragic, it was also sad to see Ducky, Spike, and Petrie so lonely (I’d still like to see them featured more prominently in this storyómore dialogue, at least). I am glad that the first part of this chapter shows some things from Ducky’s perspective.
Sorry; I think I warned you before that the tone of my reviews for chapters like this probably wouldn’t match the eagerness with which I await the posting of said chapters. :oops
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Poor Bron. I had a feeling that he would die in this story. I feel even sorrier for Littlefoot; having already lost his mother to a sharptooth attack, the same thing’s now happened to his other parent. :( I also can’t help but feel a little irritated at Sky, for not warning them about the Stalkers. <_<
Sorry; I think I warned you before that the tone of my reviews for chapters like this probably wouldn’t match the eagerness with which I await the posting of said chapters. :oops
You might be surprised at the ending of this Act... heck you probably will be surprised! :DD
Not giving some hints why though, thats for you to find out!
While far less tragic, it was also sad to see Ducky, Spike, and Petrie so lonely (I’d still like to see them featured more prominently in this storyómore dialogue, at least). I am glad that the first part of this chapter shows some things from Ducky’s perspective.
I know you want Ducky, Spike, and Petrie to get more involvement but the plot dictates otherwise for... well for the next few chapters at least. I really want to bring them in too but if I altered the flow of the story according to what reviewers want in the now, the overall polished appeal of the story will drop. Ducky gets her day trust me, but it's not going to be until the plotline reveals it.
We are so close to revelation, everything you say makes me want to tell you the secrets of Far Away Home, but alas it will all be revealed in time. :bang
Caustizer.
P.S. What do you think of the new avatar? I wanted to come up with a good way to express my affiliation with the wingtails now that I'm writing a story about them.
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Nice to see some action. :D
Now Littlefoot has only his grandparents left... that's really sad to hear. :cry
I don't know, but I think I'm liking your avatar. :lol
Gaahh! I wish I could say more to this awesome story than this... <_<
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What do you think of the new avatar? I wanted to come up with a good way to express my affiliation with the wingtails now that I'm writing a story about them.
As I said before (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=6233&view=findpost&p=9149615), I love the new picture of Glide. It works well as an avatar, though, admittedly, it’s such a drastic change from the old tank that it took me a little time to get used to recognizing you by it. (Typically, the avatar is the first thing I notice at the left of a post; I see the screen name second.)
However, if the purpose of using this particular picture as an avatar is to indicate the wingtails’ connection to your fanfic, I think you might want to change your member title (much as I like what you already have written :lol) to something that says “I wrote a LBT story about wingtails” (not in those words, but you get what I mean). There are probably a lot of members out there who haven’t read your fanfic, and are unaware of the wingtails’ role in it; making the connection clearer might not only help attract more readers, but also reduce the number of incidences in which you are mistaken for Sky. :p
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Hooray for another action packed chapter and a fitting ending to Act II! I think I might include authors notes at the end of each chapter, just like Serris does. Could make things more interesting.
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Part VII: Convergence
It took them a good part of the day, but when Ruby and Chomper finally reached the top of the enormous bluff they couldn’t help but admire how brilliant the view was. These cliffs lied right next to the Abyss Lake, a body of water so pure and blue Ruby could see all the way to the bottom in some places even from this high up. It was incredible, and as she followed them with her eyes fish of all shapes and sizes darted about on the bottom going about their daily feeding ritual. Perhaps more astounding was the sheer number of wingtails that darted about in the air, occasionally diving in to snatch an unfortunate water-swimmer from the lake. She had believed that, like her kind the wingtails were sparse and spread throughout the Mysterious Beyond but the impressive scene before them hinted otherwise.
“Wow look at them all,” Chomper commented as he reached the top and walked up beside her.
“Oh yes, there’s so many of them there’s too many to count,” added Ruby.
“It’s a good thing they’re too busy eating to bother us.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” came a deep voice from behind them.
Ruby and Chomper turned on the spot to come face to face the two wingtails they were here to confront, the ones that kidnapped Cera. Both of them bore identical smirks, as if they were amused at their ability to surprise the two young ones with but a few words. Ruby was reminded of her siblings, who had a tendency to finish each others sentences. It was funny but it got on her nerves sometimes, especially when they ganged up on her to make her do things, like taking them down to the river for a swim when she was tired. In this case however things were a bit less trivial… it was time to bring these wingtails to justice.
“Give us back our friend or you’ll be sorry!” Ruby demanded while wagging her finger in a scolding motion.
“Yeah, give us back Cera or things are going to get real ugly,” Chomper added as he gritted his teeth.
“Such bravery for ones so small… but you should learn to respect your elders,” commented the lighter one of the brother wingtails.
“It’s so convenient that you chose to come all this way on your own, I was afraid we were going to have to carry you like that wretched threehorn,” added the darker one.
“Oh yeah, well your messing with a sharptooth pal!” Chomper snarled.
Both the wingtails laughed.
“And your going to do what… bite my tail?” the lighter one chuckled.
“I was planning on it, yeah,” Chomper admitted. It was a technique that seemed to work in the past.
Their aura of invincibility slightly broken, both wingtails tucked their tales in out of his sight with looks of worry on their faces. After a moment though, it was gone.
“Enough games hatchlings… you’re going to join your friend in our little hole or else!” the darker one snarled.
“Come and make me fish-breath! Chomper taunted.
Without a sound, the two villainous kidnappers simultaneously pounced into the air towards the small sharptooth. Unlike back in the Land of the Mists, this time they were ready for the attack. Ruby jumped forward and kicked the lighter one in the chest, throwing him off balance. Where they both would have grabbed him like they did with Cera, only the darker one got him in his grip instead. The weight threw him off balance and Chomper took advantage of it, clamping his jaws around the darker wingtail’s tail.
“Rarr, I’ll kill you for that hatchling,” he snarled, and barrelling through the air he repeatedly snapped at Chomper with his toothless jaws, but kept missing.
“Take that you… uh… you meanie!” Ruby added after the vicious kick. She didn’t like to call people names, but in this case she was willing to make an exception. The lighter wingtail caught his breath and jumped into the air, leaving the fast-runner alone on the bluff.
“You do realize how high up we are little one… a single misstep could send you tumbling into the Abyss,” the lighter one stated as he circled above her, smiling at the pun he had just made, “why don’t you just go quietly, and I won’t have to hurt you?”
“We’re not going anywhere until you give us back Cera!” Ruby proclaimed defiantly.
“Ah so Cera is her name is it?” commented the wingtail half heartedly, “Bah what does it matter… since you are refusing to go quietly, you get to find out just how good of a ëcreator’ I actually am.”
He dove at her, but she was pretty fast and sent another swift kick his way. Midair, the wingtail halted and grabbed her outstretched leg. Ruby cried out in surprise. With a single motion he dropped to the ground and pulled her up until she was dangling upside down over the rocky ground.
“See, it’s a little move I invented myself called the kicker-catcher. Pretty elegant isn’t it?” he taunted at Ruby.
“Put me down, or you’ll be sorry!”
“Oh if you insist, I suppose I must.”
The wingtail trudged over to the hole in the rocky wall that was the entrance to the prison like cave where they held the children until they needed them. It was really quite the natural wonder inside, but of course that was for this ignorant fast-runner to find out on her own.
“Chomper, Chomper help me!” Ruby cried.
Chomper was in a bit of a sticky situation on his own. The darker wingtail was clearly the meaner one and he was going through every trick he knew to dislodge the sharptooth from his tail. He rammed it repeatedly into the rock, but still it wouldn’t budge. He hissed in rage.
“Need some assistance, brother?” the lighter one asked as he dropped Ruby down into the hole.
“Gah get him off, get him off!” shouted the darker wingtail as he crashed to the ground. The lighter wingtail rolled his eyes.
“Ah, the things I do for you.”
Using his two fingers the wingtail grabbed Chomper by the corners of his jaw, forcing him to release his bite via a pressure point. The sharptooth snarled and struggled in his painful grip, but before long he too was carried towards the hole that Ruby had been thrown down.
“Enjoy your visit… son of Tyron.”
The wingtail released his grip, and Chomper joined Ruby and Cera in the darkness.
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As soon as he heard the snap, like a crack of lightning, Bron knew he was dead. Strangely, he felt nothing. He thought it would be painful and shocking, but most of all he expected there to be at least something and there was… the feeling of hot breath on his face. Bron opened his eyes slowly, only to come face to face with a maw full of teeth. The sharptooth hadn’t gone for the kill, snapping short of his neck… either that or the sharptooth had missed.
To Bron’s amazement however, Tharon rolled his eyes and leaned backward, before beginning to pace in impatience. All around the fast-biters looked bored as well, with some of them licking their claws and others clacking their teeth in anticipation. What was going on here, why were they sparing him?
“Greetings leaf eater, leader of these herds,” came a voice from the trees above.
The large but injured longneck slowly turned his head around to come face to face with a strange looking flyer he had never seen before. It appeared to be similar to a flying sharptooth, but nowhere near as intimidating to him due to its small size. Without waiting for any sort of answer, Macaw continued with the lines he had repeated many times before, as he had been ordered to by Tyron himself.
“The Tyrant King has consented to spare your life, in recognition of the service you will now perform for him.”
“Wha-what are you talking about…what’s going on, who are you?” Bron stammered, having not comprehended the scope of the situation.
“The King of Sharpteeth demands that, once per seven circle rises, you send a mature member of your herd away from this land, to be consumed as Tyron sees fit,” Macaw continued, ignoring Bron’s questions.
While this exchange was going on, Tharon battled with suppressing his instinct to kill like he always did on all these occasions. His brother had chosen him to lead his Stalkers for a good reason… not because of his ability to fight and kill (which he was both very good at anyway) but for his unique ability to restrain himself when assimilating another territory into Tyron’s domains.
It was a very simple concept really, but also a very brutal one. In order to feed the masses of sharpteeth in his stead, Tyron ordered his specially trained stalkers to hunt the leader of each herd, and separate them from the rest. Once they were alone and at his mercy, the most devious phase of the plan begins. Rather then making the kill right then and there, Tharon and his fast-biters intimidate the leaf-eater into obeying their demands, which were to send one of their own to be ëharvested’ once a week. They all resisted of course, especially the longnecks. Sometimes they would agree with a set of jaws at their throat, only to fail to deliver on the set date and hide amongst their peers from a reprisal… a practise which greatly displeased Tyron and his minions. In return they took out their anger in the most brutal way possible – a method that earned Stalkers their nickname amongst the other sharpteeth as ëchild killers’. Every day that their meal was not delivered, they would hunt down and kill a single child in the valley, leaving the corpse in a clearly visible place. In more extreme cases… well… it’s best not to talk about that. It only happened once, a few seasons ago, but the so called ëScythe Valley’ never disobeyed the King’s will again.
If this worked, and this longneck agreed to Tyron’s terms, then it would complete the fortnight so that if each of his domains sent one of their own to die on a separate day, the sharpteeth would get a free kill every day in some part of Tyron’s domain. The Tyrant King has a reason for everything he does.
“You are suggesting I send another to die in my place,” stated Bron, “but I will never do such a thing, especially not for the likes of you!”
Macaw ruffled his feathers in displeasure. The other sharpteeth, who couldn’t understand leaf-speak, saw the sign and growled with hate.
“What a pity,” lamented the Sharptooth Flier, “then I guess your son is the first to die.”
With a nod of his massive head Tharon set a pack of his fast-biters, six in all, off on their next hunt. They were to kill the longneck child, as they had been trained to do.
“Wait, wait!” Bron stammered. The threat these sharptooth posed was very real and more horrifying then any encounter he had had before with their kind. He didn’t have a choice.
“Oh dear, it looks like you are too late,” commented Macaw with a hint of pity, before getting back to the discussion on hand, “so, now that you are relieved of the burden of parenthood allow me to inform you of your position here. If you refuse, we will kill you and devour your flesh down to the bone. Once your herd picks your replacement, we will corner him too with the same offer until one of you pathetic clumps of meat caves in and obeys our demands. You can’t win longneck.”
The vile comments sunk deep into Bron’s heart. The bird was right, he didn’t have a choice. The herd would need his guidance in the years ahead, and a few sacrifices could be made to preserve this. After all, death through predation was usually much higher in wandering herds… he knew that from experience.
“If I agree, will you spare the rest of the herd?”
Tharon let out a low growl of impatience. This exchange was taking too long and he was hungry. If that wretched flier didn’t finish soon he would devour this helpless longneck and be done with it. His natural instincts could only be suppressed so much, even if it was for Tyron.
“Of course,” responded Macaw with a hint of gluttonous pleasure.
“Alright, I’ll do it then… I’ll obey your demands.”
“Good, then we have no more business here leaf-eater. Be thankful that you are still amongst the living.”
On that note the flyer took off, and noticing the sign the rest of the fast-biters flashed up onto their feet and were off into the woods, on their way out of the forest. So it was until only Tharon remained, the sharptooth breathing hard out of his nostrils. The smell of blood and fear was so strong, it was nearly too much to resist. Bron glanced at him with concern, but continued to attempt to rise to his feet regardless. After a moment Tharon knew if he stayed much longer he would become a slave to his instincts, so he snorted with disrespect and followed his minions into the woods leaving Bron alone.
“Littlefoot…” the longneck whispered as he stood on his feet through the pain.
With a moment of pause, he limped off slowly to rejoin the herd. The agony of his leg was intense, but it was nothing compared to the even greater injury he had suffered – the slashes to his pride.
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Through the chaos and cries of fear from the adult inhabitants of the forest Littlefoot and Sky made their way through the trees on their way to the clearing where the longneck knew his friends were. They found them on the edge of a pool, with Ducky, Petrie, Spike, Ali, and Shorty all talking together on the shore while the rest of the longneck children continued with their game. It amazed Sky how oblivious the children were to what was going on in the rest of the forest, but he supposed it was in their nature. Land-walkers like the ones he had known were quite fearless – until death showed up to claim them in the form of rows and rows of pointed teeth. Such was how things were, for if they were timid and careful creatures sharpteeth would never get a meal.
“Ducky, Spike, Ali, Petrie, we have to go right now!” cried Littlefoot, stopping to catch his breath.
“But why, is it because of the sharpteeth?” Ali asked calmly. She couldn’t see anything to be too afraid about.
“Ali, these are not normal sharpteeth… we have to go or all of you will be in danger,” stated Sky.
The blue wingtail had proven to be their best friend and protector on more then one occasion, so there was no cause to doubt him now. If Sky said they had to go, then they had to go.
“Wait,” interrupted Shorty, “were are you going we’re perfectly fine here. No sharptooth would dare cross us!”
“It’s not just one sharptooth Shorty,” Littlefoot said hastily, “and… I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? Littlefoot that fight was weeks ago we’re still pals, right?” responded Shorty, this was starting to freak him out.
“It’s not that Shorty… I’m just, sorry,” the young longneck said on a sorrowful note. Shorty would find out why soon enough.
On that note the whole group of them turned tail and left, leaving Shorty on his own up to his knees in the pond water.
“What… I don’t…” stammered Shorty, but he gave up on whatever he was going to say.
…
“Well it would appear that you are useful after all Glide,” commented the most senior of Eybron’s wingtails as the scene below them unfolded.
Glide had predicted that to find Sky all they had to do was find his friends and wait... sure enough, it proved to be true. Within an hour the traitor had revealed himself, landing amongst his friends with a note of urgency. This time, Glide intended to finish what he had started in the Ice Caves and end his life once and for all. With Eybron’s ilk helping him there was no way he could lose this time… sharpteeth or no sharpteeth.
The well conditioned wingtails to his left shot up from the branches, and quickly settled into formation to give chase. Glide didn’t have the patience to join them, and bolted forward on his own with all his strength. He soon pushed ahead; locking Sky within his sights… luckily he hadn’t been noticed yet.
“Flyers,” hollered Petrie, “Mean, mean flyers!”
Opps, thought Glide, spoke too soon.
Ali turned around and spotted the villainous creatures descending upon them, and screamed. This caught everyone’s attention causing them to scatter as Glide tore in towards Sky for the kill.
“Sorry, gotta run!” uttered Sky quickly, before he banked away from the black wingtail’s attack.
Glide ended up driving his feet into the dirt, and hissed with rage. In an instant he was back in the air and on Sky’s tail.
“You won’t get away from me this time… it’s over for you Sky,” Glide breathed as he weaved in and out of the trees, brushing off the scraping of leaves and branches like a black bullet.
For all his titanic strength Glide was slightly heavier then Sky, and it was starting to show… the blue wingtail was pulling away. Desperate to gain air, he pushed himself harder and faster and gained on his quarry. With on final push he was within inches of Sky’s diamond shaped tail… he opened his jaws with anticipation of clamping down and dragging him to the ground.
Suddenly Sky swerved, dodging a thick branch right in front of him. Glide saw it too, but he was going too fast and for a moment he blanked out… and then he hit it. The impact knocked the wind clean out of him, and there was a vicious cracking of ribs. The black wingtail barrelled out of control, crashing into countless hard obstacles before finally coming to a rest on his back.
…
The next thing Glide remembered he felt raindrops on his face, and slowly he opened his eyes. The sky was a dark, volumous black that boiled with turmoil and hate as cloud to cloud lightning arched from various points to his sight. The wingtail was so confused, and in so much pain he didn’t even acknowledge Sky looking down on him, a visage of worry all over his face.
“Glide… are you alright?” asked Sky.
A droplet entered his throat, and the black wingtail viciously coughed. A line of blood ran down his face, signifying internal injury. He certainly wasn’t alright.
“Don’t move, you will only make it worse,” added Sky considerately.
Clearly he bared no ill will towards the wingtail that had hunted him relentlessly for the past half season, and even respected him. Glide wasn’t about to return it. He raised his right wing slowly, causing Sky to jump back.
“The Occular, give it to me,” insisted Glide bitterly in a whisper without even looking at Sky, “give it to me and I’ll help you die quick.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Glide… it’s gone,” answered Sky.
“Gone?” questioned Glide with surprise, his voice still in a whisper, “where did you hide it?”
“I didn’t hide it away… I gave it to your sister.”
“What!?! Impossible!” shouted Glide, before coughing up more blood in a fit.
If Sky wanted his brother in law to live, he would have to be more careful with his words.
“She was very upset… upset with you.”
Glide turned his head to face Sky who was standing not a meter away.
“Don’t lie to me Sky… my sister would never come to the likes of you for anything,” the black wingtail spat, both literally and figuratively. If he kept up like this, his injuries would surely kill him.
“And besides, why could she possibly be angry with me?” Glide added sarcastically.
“Because you have protected her all these seasons, only to give her away when it suited you,” Sky responded.
Glide wheezed as the truth of the situation set in. Star had come to see Sky… she truely was upset with him. What had he done?
“Then I suppose… it ends here,” Glide managed, as he coughed again this time very deeply.
Sky didn’t have an answer for him.
Luckily he was spared by the arrival of Littlefoot and his friends, followed unpleasantly by Eybron’s wingtails. The brave young longnecks and their friends formed a barrier between Sky and his assailants, giving him momentary protection.
“Hah, I don’t believe this,” spouted one of the younger wingtails, “these land walkers are actually trying to protect Sky, one of us.”
“You won’t hurt Sky, you won’t, you won’t,” stated Ducky defiantly.
“Yeah, Sky’s our friend and if you want him you gotta go through us first!” shouted Ali with daring, consumed with loyalty for her friend.
The senior wingtail of the group was unaffected, but his younger companions were having none of this.
“Sky is a criminal who has betrayed his race and stolen our past, if you hatchlings won’t back off then you will share his fate of death!” hissed one of them.
“Yeah,” added another one, who had been just about to say the same thing.
“Alright then,” spoke the senior with authority, “…kill them.”
There was a terrible screech as a fast-biter leapt from behind them and pounced on one of the wingtails, driving him to the ground. The others were so shocked by the sudden attack that soon another Stalker was amongst them, snapping at their flesh with her teeth. The three survivors took to the air and engaged the snarling fast-biters, filling the air with the sounds of hissing and screeching. In the confusion, the warring evil factions totally forgot about who the true prey was… Sky and his friends.
Sky looked around for a way out, a better path they could use to get away. He soon spotted it, a nearby log that bound together the two bluffs that passed over the thinnest point of the Mudflow. Recently the Black Mountain had begun to steam and bellow with the earth’s rage, and had melted the hard water on its peak. The water flowed down over the minor lava chutes and filled the river system with dirt and searing hot magma, forming a phenomenon the dinosaurs called the Mudflow. There were only two safe ways across, and this was one of them.
“The crossing, go now Littlefoot!” demanded Sky as the fight raged on. Another wingtail was dragged down out of the sky by the vicious sharpteeth.
“But what about you?” the longneck asked as he obeyed Sky and brought the others with him.
“I will follow,” replied Sky disheartedly
As powerful as Eybron’s wingtails were, they were obviously outmatched. With two of them dead or dying, there was no choice but to flee. In a whisk of air, the two of them still alive circled once, hissing their anger, before taking wing back to the east. The senior of them passed a spiteful glare down at Sky, assuring him that there would be a reckoning between the two of them. Once Barrau returned with news of this to Eybron, there would be retribution… he knew it.
…
The fast-biters, six in total, were ravenous and bloodthirsty, and without pause took to surround Sky and Glide to solidify their advantage.
“Sky… tell Star I’m sorry,” lamented Glide.
One of the fast-biters stepped forward, sniffing the air. There was something familiar here, someone he recognized. Redgar levelled his evil yellow eyes with Sky, narrowing his eyelids with concentration. Yes, he did know someone here. Now he remembered.
Sky opened his mouth and hissed loudly, crouching into a combat stance next to Glide. Despite the hate that filled the heart of his brother, he was willing to die for him.
It didn’t happen however, as with a low growl Redgar commanded his pack to back off. They had no enemies here. Surprisingly, the six fast-biters simply walked away, leaving the two wingtails alone at the edge of the forest. They took care to grab their fresh kills, and were soon gone into the woods. All of them but one.
Redgar sent a collection of sounds at Sky that Littlefoot listened to with amazement, but didn’t understand. Sky returned with another angry hiss, and Redgar snorted back with indignity before following the rest of his pack. With the threat gone, Sky relaxed a bit, and took one last look down at Glide.
“A bid you a safe journey, wherever you may be going,” the blue wingtail stated, before taking to the air to rejoin his friends.
Glide wasn’t going to let him get away with that.
“This isn’t over Sky, someday, someplace I’m going to find you and make you pay for all this!”
Sky circled above once, but couldn’t find anything else to say. If Glide was to live through this ordeal, it would certainly be due to his own steel. Perhaps, for now, it was best to let him be the subject of the black wingtail’s hate.
With a look of slight amusement at the thought, Sky flapped his wings and continued after Littlefoot, Ali, Petrie, Ducky, and Spike into the mysterious lands beyond, and whatever else awaited them in the north.
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<End of Act II>
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Aw, shucks :slap! A rescue attempt failed. Well, maybe Chomper, Ruby, and Cera can now form an escape plan :idea.
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Author's Notes:
Okay, time for my first try at this.
This latest chapter I really felt that I wanted to throw the readers' expectations of the story off balance... again! The plot is very complex with mulitiple layers of villiany and twists, and I wanted to emphasize the different powers that are Tyron & Eybron. They both have different reasons to go after the gang, and both are quite villianous in their own way.
Eybron is an appealing 'main villian' because of how smart and well-respected he is to the rest of the wingtails. It is up to the reader to decide if they hate him or not, though there is certainly plenty of incentive for that to come!
Tyron is appealing because he represents an evolution of the 'basic' evil of the LBT universe... the sharpteeth. He is present only in image, but with a ton of references behind him so when we finally meet Tyron in the flesh, the occassion is quite monumental.
Prince Tyrus is also an important character, but for a different reason. I won't say too much about it, but believe me he was not a throw in villian and he has a very important part in the story to play.
...
I really didn't want to end the fight between Ruby & Chomper without having them introduced to their fellow captives, but again I ran out of space. I have something great planned for this, but it looks like it's going to be an Act III Part I-II thing.
Another thing I regret is how little detail I have been putting into the setting description lately, focusing entirely on the characters and their actions. I don't like having to do this but it would seriously cut into the action and not to mention take up a ton of word-space.
I try to keep my Parts from 3,000 to 4,000 words to keep them managable, but even with minimal description this past chapter went over that count by 200 words!
I'm sure you guys aren't going to complain about the extra reading though, :lol
Caustizer.
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This may change as circumstances dictate, but it looks like this weekend may just end up being a somewhat-sort prologue (ie 1000 words).
Apart from that, I've heard a couple of songs recently that I really think fit the theme of Far Away Home, but I don't think I'll cite them yet until I can be absolutely sure. Everyone interprets sound differently.
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No reviews this week guys? I was hoping you would respond before tommarrow morning, but it looks like I'll just have to post the Act III prologue anyway. I'm sure you're pretty busy atm, just like me :confused.
Caustizer.
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Here's an idea: Cera, Ruby, and Chomper all make Wingtail Stew out of those twin wingtails, then let Chomper add just a dash o' stinky on it 'n enjoy :DD! To be more serious, I hope those three escape soon.
Somethin' else that's been buggin' me is there has been no mention about Littlefoot missing any of those three. I mean, he's really close with Chomper, and Cera's his best friend. Was it really that easy for him to just forget 'em like that <_<?
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Well, I am quite busy right now too... but since you asked... ^_^
Like all the other chapters, this chapter was great! A great ending for Act II.
Ah well, guess Ruby, Chomper and Cera will need an idea to escape from that hole.
I had a feeling that Bron's life would be spared. But I thought someone would rescue him instead. :p
As for Glide, I'm sure he's still alive.
Now that Act II has ended, I will work on the picture you requested. :lol:
But it will need some time since I have alot of work... :x
Oh, and I can't wait for the prologue (even if it's short). :yes
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I'm so sorry. :( There's a load of things that I've wanted to get done this week, but I've been procrastinating on just about all of them. :bang Here you go, and again, my apologies for being so late:
Well, for starters, I hope this doesn't disappoint you too much, but I really wasn’t all that surprised when it turned out that Bron wasn’t killed. (I was a little suspicious that his death wasn’t actually shown, but since I couldn't be absolutely sure, I figured it was safer to share my sentiments than to say, "Oh, I don't think he's dead." :p) Though the way he survived was a little different than I had expected; I had thought that the snap heard at the end of the last chapter was meant to imply that Tharon had broken Bron’s neck, when it turns out it was actually Tharon’s jaws snapping shut.
Something I don’t believe I’ve complimented you on yet is your ability to design truly despicable (in the best possible sense :p) villains. You’re doing an incredible job of making their actions horrifically cruel, yet logical and realistic. The way Tyron’s sharpteeth manipulate Bron to force him to agree to their demands is an excellent example.
All in all, this was an outstanding chapter, and concluded Act II quite nicely. :yes
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Somethin' else that's been buggin' me is there has been no mention about Littlefoot missing any of those three. I mean, he's really close with Chomper, and Cera's his best friend. Was it really that easy for him to just forget 'em like that ?
Littlefoot has been quite a bit caught up in things, like escaping death at the hands of a sharptooth, to meeting his father again and learning about growing up, to running again from a sharptooth. Cera & Chomper do share quite the bond with Littlefoot, but one of the aspects of growing up is you start to, shall we say, "go your own way". Plus with Ali around, he has all the company he needs. There are some people out there who get so caught up in their girlfriends that they forget about their real friends. Littlefoot is one of those people, by my interpretation of course (I'll admit there is a bit of a 'lack of missing' going on here that I plan to address at some point).
As for Glide, I'm sure he's still alive.
Are you sure, really really sure? Just kidding :lol , though I've stated before that the only characters immune to death are the Gang of Seven and Sky. Everyone else is fair game.
I hope this doesn't disappoint you too much, but I really wasn’t all that surprised when it turned out that Bron wasn’t killed. (I was a little suspicious that his death wasn’t actually shown, but since I couldn't be absolutely sure, I figured it was safer to share my sentiments than to say, "Oh, I don't think he's dead." )
I made the mistake of telling you to "expect the unexpected," and now that means no matter what I do you will expect it - doh! That being said I really wanted to fool you guys into thinking Tharon had executed Bron, when in reality they intimidated him into surrender. I doubt Bron will be calling the Sharpteeth "dumb" anymore.
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Act 3: The Black Dawn
Prologue:
“Our rescue attempt didn’t work out so well,” repeated adult Ruby with a bit of concern, “but if we didn’t try… well… then nothing would have worked out well!”
The glowing cracks flickered slightly as the light danced off the bodies of the youngsters who were present, as well as the adult Littlefoot who was there to listen to Ruby’s version of the story as well as occasionally ëcorrect’ her memory. Unlike the night when the story began, the sky was cloudy and dark with no stars revealing themselves to light the night-time. It might have alluded to the tone of the story, if the children were actually listening.
Despite her good will, Ruby had a tendency to repeat herself very often and occasionally explain things too much. On some occasions Littlefoot had to remind her to get back on topic, but by the end the children had lost their attention span and had started focusing on other things, like throwing pebbles at each other or (in Landar’s case) eating. Even the young longneck Xavier, who was absorbing every detail like a sea sponge, was beginning to lose his patience.
“Sky has been gone all night,” he exclaimed disheartedly, “is he even going to be here at all?”
“Yeah, so we can actually get a good story?” added Wayne.
Littlefoot cleared his throat loudly.
“Sky will be here as soon as he can children, but in the meantime you should be glad that Ruby has kindly agreed to step into his place,” he commented with a fatherly smile, “after all, without her you wouldn’t have found out about our past.”
“Yes dad,” replied the small blue longneck with a pout. At least if Sky was here, the story would be a lot more interesting.
“Look, it’s Sky… he’s here!” shouted Ducky’s daughter Aura, prompting Kala to wake up suddenly.
“I see him, I see him!” the spiketail added with glee.
Sky had indeed arrived from his long absence, and the wingtail circled briefly before coming in to land near the glowing cracks. Notably, he did not do his usual loop in the air before he set down onto the ground. He brushed off his wings and folded them neatly before speaking.
“I apologise for my lack of punctuality children, but I had some… business… I needed to attend to this eve.”
Sky turned to Ruby, who seemed to be in thought about what to say next about her marvellous adventures. It wasn’t easy to tell a story when you had only been through half of it on your own. It was a good thing that Littlefoot was here, otherwise she would have never gotten it straight.
“Ah Ruby,” addressed Sky, “you have been telling the story in my place I see. You have my gratitude.”
The blue wingtail bowed slightly with respect.
“Not a problem Sky, I’m here whenever you need me to be here,” replied Ruby with a smile. The fastrunner picked up her feet and departed.
“Wait a minute,” interrupted Landar, “what really took you so long Sky? You’ve never ever been late for one of your stories before.”
The other children were equally curious, and despite Sky’s refusal to talk about it they insisted. With a sigh, the Great Valley’s story speaker finally relented.
“I… had to meet an old friend.”
“What friend… is he in your story too?” pushed Xavier.
“I suppose he is,” responded Sky, “but I would prefer not to –”
“What’s the matter Sky, trying to hide me underneath a rock like the rest of your bloody and treacherous past? How like you.”
The young dinosaurs and the adults present looked around, trying to identify where the voice came from. Sky knew who it was, and hung his head as another wingtail emerged from the curtain of darkness into the neon light of the glowing cracks.
The cold black of Glide’s feathers was matted by small streaks of grey; clear evidence of age. It was not a natural age though, as he was still only a few years older then Sky... it was an aging of the soul. The seasons had not been kind to Sky’s brother in law, and as the wingtail grew from an adolescent to an adult the venom and violence was replaced by a well of brooding and hate. Despite this fire inside, Glide had also been somewhat moderated by his experiences and was less arrogant then in times past. Maybe with the loss of his youth came the temperament of experience and perhaps even a bit of a fatherly instinct he didn’t know he had. As Glide revealed himself, Sky ignored his comment as if it hadn’t been said at all.
“Well, aren’t you going to introduce me to your ëfriends’?” Glide taunted villainously, not hesitating to lower his tone on the word ëfriends’. He was still wary of his brother in law’s tendency to befriend other races who were clearly quite different from their own. Land-walkers and wingtails didn’t belong together, in his opinion.
“Children,” began Sky as he made a slight wing gesture of recognition, “this is Glide.”
Their reactions were mixed, but all echoed the shock of the revelation. Aura screamed and jumped behind Kala, who covered her head and started shaking. Xavier backed up a step closer to his father, while Landar dropped the bug he had been about to eat and stood up. Wayne, on the other hand, was pretty impartial.
“Hah, you’re the Glide we’ve been hearing about? You don’t look so tough,” Wayne commented with a bit of a snub.
“Is that a challenge, threehorn?” threatened Glide, and he cracked his knuckles in anticipation.
A bead of sweat began to run down the back of Wayne’s neck. He didn’t expect the black wingtail to respond like that. Coming face to face with a villain from the story speaker’s tales, it was clear he was outmatched.
“I was just kidding, no need to get mad or anything,” replied Wayne sarcastically, trying to keep some of his dignity intact without getting pummelled. Landar looked highly excited, which was very unusual for him.
“Wow this is so awesome,” he commented, “you mean you actually beat the snot out of Sky… twice!?!”
“Can we not discuss this here, please?” interrupted Sky politely as he could.
“Oh it was more then that… but that’s not why I’m here,” responded Glide as he crossed his arms and talked to Sky’s back, “am I to believe that you, Sky, are telling these children our story… the one where you sold out our kind and stole a piece of our past?”
Xavier looked ready to defend his favourite teacher, but decided it wasn’t the smart thing to do. It was safer just to watch, as unlike for the previous few hours the story seemed more interesting then ever.
“As much respect as I have for you Glide, your business here with me is done. Could you please leave in peace?”
Littlefoot opened his mouth to step in, but at the last moment decided not to. As long as these two didn’t threaten the children with their fighting, they would have to resolve their differences on their own.
“And let you poison their minds with your lies, I think not!” countered Glide aggressively. They began to growl at each other. Littlefoot eased the tension with a thoughtful response.
“You know Sky, maybe it’s better to let him take over for a while. Like Ruby said earlier, ëyou can’t tell the whole story without the whole story to tell’… we all lived through these things, so perhaps it might be wise to get a different perspective?”
Glide looked just as repulsed by the idea as Sky was, but for an entirely different reason.
“Longneck, what makes you think I’m going to waste my time bragging about my previous exploits to your land-walker children that I couldn’t care –”
The black wingtail stopped mid sentence. Telling his story to a group of wide eyed youngsters who would have usually avoided him was an idea that appealed to him on some level. Nobody in the Feral Forest really cared for him that much, so this could be a good opportunity to pass along the things he had done and look good in the process.
“Alright, I accept,” answered Glide with a satisfied grin.
“Littlefoot, I don’t think this is a good idea,” mentioned Sky with a bit of annoyance, “there are parts of my past that I don’t…”
“Your afraid of what I might say aren’t you?” shot Glide with a smirk. Sky snorted with anger. He was too smart to get involved in a pointless mud-sling like this, so naturally came up with a better angle.
“No… of course not,” responded Sky with indignity, “… children, is this what you want?”
The responses were divided, but nobody dared to talk down about Glide since he was standing right there. There was a general consensus though, and that was ëanyone but Ruby’. In the end the blue wingtail listened to Littlefoot and stepped aside.
“Alright Glide, it looks like I am beaten. Please don’t be too brutal in your recounts; they are only young ones you know.”
Sky took to the air, and circled a few times while Glide and the others watched him intently. He landed in a branch next to Littlefoot, and whispered something into his ear nobody could hear. The longneck nodded and soon Sky was gone into the air once more.
“Alright… where did the fastrunner leave off?” grunted Glide with displeasure.
“Umm…” answered Wayne with uncertainty, “you were lying on your back coughing up your insides.”
Glides eyes narrowed.
“I can see that I need to create a bit of a different picture… one of how things truly were back in that time. In those days, there was blood everywhere and you didn’t know who you could trust. Enter Eybron, the worst wingtail of them all.”
As the children engrossed themselves in Glide’s tale, Littlefoot pondered Sky’s words with a bit of weight on his mind…
“Don’t let them judge me.”
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A few author's notes:
The story is being told to the children in a different way from how I'm writing it. What I'm writing is what actually happened, as opposed to how the character telling the story percieves it. This is good because it allows me to go off on tangents a bit as well as explain the villians prior to their appearance.
Also I have a bit of a question... do you guys read the chapters I post right away and then comment on them later, or do you leave it to midweek to read and post your comments? The reason I'm asking is because often I'll put up a chapter and it will go nearly a week without being reviewed so I start to think that my story is disinteresting and quickly lose inspiration.
Caustizer.
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Sorry. :oops I generally open this thread the instant I see it updated, reading chapters as soon as they are posted, but I often can’t find the words to provide a review immediately. (It doesn’t help that lately I’ve been growing increasingly scatterbrained as a result of college assignments. :wacko) My interest in this story, however, has most certainly NOT declined. Just to prove it to you (and since I figure I’m already talking :p), here’s my review for the prologue right now:
I have to say that this prologue was very good, especially considering that wasn’t originally a planned part of the story. Glide’s introduction as the new storyteller came as a considerable surprise to me, as his presence makes it obvious that, whatever events are to transpire in the next two acts, he survived them. I have to say, I’m a little relieved; as unpleasant a character Glide often is, the numerous misfortunes he’s experienced (and the obvious love and concern he has for his sister) have garnered him a degree of sympathy from me.
I’m feeling sorry for Ruby, though; specifically, because of the response she's getting from her audience. Evidently, storytelling standards have risen since the days of the gang’s childhood (as I recall, THEY thought Ruby was a good storyteller).
Much as I hate to say it, there’s a couple of (minor) spelling errors in the chapter as well:
“but of we didn’t try… well… then nothing would have worked out well!”
“Of” should be “if”.
As the children engrossed themselves in Glide’s tail, Littlefoot pondered Sky’s words with a bit of weight on his mind…
I’m pretty sure you meant “tale”.
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I read the newest chapter as soon as I see it's posted, and then I think about my reaction to it and what to say before I return and give my two cents ;).
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Looks like Part I will have to wait until the mid week, its taking longer then I had hoped due to it's intensity.
Caustizer.
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Part I: Friends and Enemies
“Wake up Chomper, wake up,” came a soft voice from the ether.
It was so quiet that Chomper barely heard it, but it didn’t matter. In his dream, he was back with his parents on the island. Food had never been more plentiful, and he was happy because not only was he not hungry anymore, but he was there with his friends too! Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Spike and Petrie weren’t leaf-eaters anymore though, they were sharpteeth like him. For once he was accepted and understood. Ruby was there too, but for some reason she was still a fastrunner. He didn’t think too much about it however, as she seemed to be having just as much fun as everyone else.
Today they were seeking prey in the bushes, and Cera was his partner for the hunt. She pushed on very quickly through the ferns and he was having trouble keeping up.
“Move out of the way Ruby… I’ll get him up,” came another voice, so faint he almost didn’t hear it.
…
“GET UP YOU LAZY SHARPTOOTH!!!” the real Cera shouted right into Chomper’s ear, causing him to suddenly wake from his slumber.
“Ahhh!” cried out Chomper in shock, and he flailed desperately as if under attack.
The entire world shifted about like it was a log a drift in the sea, and it didn’t stop until his focus into reality was restored. The sharptooth’s heart was pounding and he was breathing hard, still convinced that the dream was real and he was in it. What happened, what was he doing here, and who shouted at him? With these questions still in his mind, Chomper rubbed his eyes to clear them up.
“See, sometimes you need to get angry to get things done,” Cera gloated smugly to Ruby, who didn’t look too impressed, “I’m not going to have to teach you to be mad too am I?”
Cera was referring too the time when she instructed Ducky on how to use her anger. It was kind of silly, but the swimmer seemed honestly unaware of what the feeling actually was. Ruby, on the other hand, was deep and very well contained. Admittedly, she had tried to bait the fastrunner into expressing her emotions at times to test her character, but ultimately it was pretty fruitless. Ruby didn’t have the same weak spots as Littlefoot did.
The white egg-stealer behind them didn’t really like it either.
“That was right mean it was, and… wait a minute what’s this about a sharptooth I hear about?” he said with a bit of an unusual accent.
“Hmm, I don’t remember asking you Gentry,” Cera mumbled.
A spiketail bounded forward, and landed in the rock pile right next to Chomper.
“A sharptooth… a real sharptooth? Oh this is so exciting I can’t believe I actually get to meet a real sharptooth here right now!” she said, and it was so fast that Chomper didn’t catch any of it.
“Umm… who are you?” asked Chomper in confusion.
“Hehe,” giggled the female spiketail, “I’m Thylo but if that’s too much you can just call me Thye cause that’s what my friends call me but my mom doesn’t like it and she always tells them to call me by my real name but I don’t mind so you can call me what you like!”
“Huh?” Chomper raised an eyebrow.
He turned his gaze to the mysterious white egg-stealer who was standing right between Ruby and Cera. Gentry was like no creature the sharptooth had ever seen before in that he was completely and entirely white except for the pupils of his eyes.
“Don’t look at me mate, I can’t understand a bloody thing she says either,” the egg-stealer said with renouncement.
“Oh yeah,” blurted Thylo, “well you talk funny!”
Cera rolled her eyes and groaned… fights weren’t fun unless she was involved in them. Beside that point, since she was the only one who knew everyone in the cave it looked like she would have to be the host and introduce her friends.
“Alright… Thylo, Gentry these are my friends from the Great Valley Ruby and Chomper,” proclaimed Cera.
“Charmed,” uttered Gentry politely as he extended a hand to Ruby. She looked at his hand in bewilderment, not recognizing the gesture, “go on shake it… it’s not like it bites.”
After a moment’s hesitation Ruby took his hand and shook it.
“Nice to meet you,” Ruby said pleasantly, hiding her real thoughts.
From the moment she had laid eyes on the egg-stealer it had brought back memories both good and bad to her. When she had nearly fallen to her death during the storm tide, an egg stealer named Rozzy had saved her life on two separate occasions. He evoked an emotion in her that she didn’t understand… and in turn she had grown to fear it as a mystery force within herself that was best kept in check. Now that another egg-stealer was here with her, she was constantly and distractingly reminded of her past love lost. It would probably go away though as she got to know him better.
“And your Chomper!” exclaimed Thylo excitedly, “can I see your teeth… show me your teeth!”
“I don’t know… I don’t think you would want to see them,” said Chomper with a tooth-concealing smile.
“Show me show me show me!” begged Thylo as she began jumping up in the air with glee.
“Well if you insist…” remitted Chomper slyly.
The sharptooth jumped forward and roared in her face at the top of his lungs. It wasn’t as good a roar as he would have when he got older, but hopefully it would be enough to stop her from bugging him.
Thylo didn’t even flinch.
“Wow that’s so cool! Can you do it again?”
“Uh… maybe later,” commented Chomper, stunned by her supposed fearlessness.
Maybe he was actually still in the dream after all.
…
Cera sighed as the two equally dull conversations went on around her… dull because she wasn’t in either of them.
“Oh well,” moaned Cera, “at least if I have to be stuck in this cave I’m not here all alone…”
Soon enough, they would be joined by another.
(For those of you who read Rise of Storm Tide, Gentry is in fact Thor’s nephew)
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The pain of flight was quite overwhelming, but on the bright side at least he wasn’t coughing up blood anymore.
It had been a tough night for Glide, who had no choice but to simply lay there and wait to die. His ribs were aching every time he took in a breath, but after a few hours of sleep propped up next to a tree the wingtail decided he was feeling better and made his first attempt to get back into the air. It took a few painful tries to succeed, but once he did he found he was perfectly capable of flight as long as he didn’t go too fast. His first destination was of course, home.
He thought about what Sky had said about giving the Occular to his sister but he hardly believed it. There was no way that thief would just give it to her unless… no he decided not to think about it. The elders had forbid them to mate, specifically because of how opposed to it he was. Part of wingtail ëlaw’ is that a child’s parents have the right to forbid their offspring from committing to another they do not approve of. Being that he and his sister’s parents perished a long time ago when they drowned in the Whirlpool, they termed him as her “clutch parent” because he was old enough to take care of her when she was just a hatchling. It had been quite a responsibility, but thankfully he had a lot of help from Sturgeon and Fliela.
Glide remembered when, just after his mother and father died, his uncle Sturgeon took him aside and put both wings on his shoulders.
“Glide,” he said, “you are all your sister has left. Without your parents here you must protect Star like you would protect yourself.”
“I will,” Glide remembered saying, and he fully meant it.
…
The night was warm and windy as Glide finally made his way back to the Feral Forest. It was so late he wasn’t surprised there were no other flyers in the air. Orienting himself by both sight and smell, he passed through the thick trees like he had so many times before.
The family tree was there by the lake as always, though the black wingtail had no idea what would be waiting for him here. He planned to confront Star about her supposed ëmeeting’ with Sky and if she had been given the Occular as the blue wingtail had said. Part of him knew this was probably a ruse to lead him off the trail, but the other part also knew that his nemesis couldn’t possibly have known about what had been going on between him and his sister without speaking to her in person. All that business aside, Eybron wasn’t going to be happy about Star missing their date, but he would leave that business until later.
Glide immediately knew that something was wrong as he entered into the canopy. It was too quiet, with not a sound coming from inside his family tree or from any of the neighbouring ones. Feeling the firm grasp of his feet on the rough bark, he poked his head in and took a look around.
“Star,” called out the black wingtail, “are you here?”
There was a moment of silence.
“Glide!” rang Star’s voice desperately, “get out, it’s a trap!”
The warning came a few seconds too late… before he could even move he was driven face first into the ground and his beak was clapped shut by multiple hands before he could manage to screech in rage. Glide tried to struggle, but with his body so broken it hurt more to do so then to simply lay still. There was a sudden flash of pain as he was tossed onto his back, and his wings were pinned down on both sides. There was a moment of shock as he opened his eyes and glanced about frantically to spy is captors, but it was too dark.
A harsh ripping sound filled the air, and a hole opened in the canopy casting bright moonlight into the inside of the tree. There was a ringing sound reverberating in Glide’s eyes, and raised his head ever so slowly to see what it was. Bathed in the beam was the silvery-white form of Eybron flanked by two of his guards – one of which he recognized as Barrau the senior who went with him to the Forgotten Forest. In Eybron’s fingers, he was flipping the Occular between the gaps using sleight of hand, which was what was causing the ringing.
“Well well,” stated Eybron with malice, “the son of Allisan returns yet again in disgrace… I’m disappointed in you,”
The silver wingtail bent over until he was eye level with Glide.
“Do you know what it was like for me…the day after you left?” he asked.
Glide rolled his eyes, showing clearly that he didn’t care. Eybron brought his face really close to the black wingtail’s, and spoke nearly in a whisper.
“I sat on that branch, overlooking the lake as the beautiful sunrise rose over the Abyss Mountains, and I waited… and waited… and waited… and you know what happened next?”
Eybron smiled, and stood himself up to full height.
“Your sister never came,” he finished with loaded spite. He cracked his knuckles.
“Do you know what I hate more then a sharptooth?” asked Eybron rhetorically, “A liar.”
The silvery wingtail wound up and slugged Glide right in the face. Snarling viciously he pounded him again and again and again until blood covered Glide’s greyish visage. The black wingtail started to shake, and his eyes took on a misty appearance as if he wasn’t all there.
“No! Stop it!” Star shrieked as she struggled against the wingtails holding her, “you’re killing him!”
Eybron eyed his wet hands with disgust, and then spitefully wiped the blood off on Glide’s white fur coat. His appetite for revenge satisfied, he turned towards Star. Slowly and purposefully he advanced on her, and she stepped back until she was backed up against a branch with nowhere else to go. She was afraid of what he was going to do next. The wingtails holding her appeared to be too and they got out of the way fast.
“You know I have rules Star… and one of those rules is not hitting females, but you’re trying my patience,” stated Eybron with a hint of disgust as he rubbed his knuckles to ease the irritation.
Star found her resolve.
“How dare you think you can just come in here and tear apart our family like this,” Star shouted, “when the elders find out about this you’re going to be in deep trouble Eybron.”
In response, Eybron laughed.
“Allow me to let you in on a little secret… you see, I’ve had my eyes on you for a long, long time. Naturally I had a bit of a problem… on one wing, your brother was so zealous about your protection there was no way I could get close without risking a confrontation, and on the other I had this problem dealing with Sky and his little escapade with my favourite historical artefact.”
Eybron briefly flipped the Occular between his fingers, and put it away inside his wing.
“The elders were willing to let him go, insisting that he needed time to complete his quest, to find Benzon’s fabled “Eye of the World”. I on the other hand, was not about to watch as the sole reward for my lost childhood was taken away by some nobody and delivered right to the hands of the sharpteeth. It was simple to arrange for my father and the others to send your brother away to do my dirty work for me while I sought your hand without his interference.”
Star was furious.
“What, you mean you arranged this whole thing… just so you could mate with me?” she summarized as she snapped her beak in anger.
“Oh it wasn’t just that, I wanted to… for want of a better term… kill two flyers with one stone. Unfortunately it would turn out that your brother was a bigger failure then I had expected, so I had to form a different plan upon his first return.”
“Your despicable,” Star spat, “I wouldn’t mate with you if you were the last wingtail in the forest… and Sky is not with the sharpteeth, he’s doing what he thinks is right!”
“And how would you know,” returned Eybron with spite, “Have you seen him? Spoken with him? Or perhaps something a bit… deeper, hmm?”
It was not a subtle play on words, and for a moment Star looked away in shame. Eybron caught the glance, and built on it.
“Sky and Star, sitting in a tree,” sang Eybron, “…need I go on?”
Star wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else. She looked away and ended up looking into Glide’s eyes as he stared at her. Her brother didn’t say a word, but she could tell by the way the colour had drained from his face (not that there was much to begin with) that he had heard everything. She had betrayed his trust, and she could tell that hurt him more then all the injuries he had suffered up to this point combined. She wanted to cry.
“Whether you like it or not, you will be mine Star. You can refuse of course, but then I would be afraid for your brother’s safety,” taunted Eybron.
Tears began to well up in Stars eyes. After a moment of consideration, she spoke.
“Just don’t hurt Glide anymore, please. I’ll go with you.”
Eybron donned a look of pride… this had been exactly what he wanted to hear.
“My lord,” interrupted Barrau, “what should we do about her brother… he can still refuse to acknowledge your courtship and as her closest living relative once we let him go he can get the elders to separate you.”
Eybron paced for a moment, thinking about what to do. He had his own personal rules, but there were also rules set aside by the wingtail elders often referred to as ëlaws of the forest’. They encompassed things such as how to settle food and territorial disputes, who gets possession of the family tree when parents die etc., but most importantly in this case they set the boundaries in regards to courtship. According to the elders a wingtail’s mother or father has the right to deny a courtship if they find the suitor to be… well… unsuitable. In the absence of parents, the right goes to the aspiring mate’s closest living relative of age. Glide had already used that right once to forbid Sky from courting with his sister, so odds are once he got away he would do it again. He would have to find a way to ëremove’ the black wingtail from the picture until they were fully acknowledged as mates. In a moments thought, an idea came to Eybron’s mind. It was a wonderful yet awful idea.
“Inform the twins that they will have a new ëguest’,” proclaimed Eybron with a smirk of delight.
“But what about the children down there… Glide’s like a loose sharptooth and I fear what he might do to them in his anger,” replied Barrau.
“That is not a concern of mine Barrau, I have… bigger things… to attend to.”
At that moment Eybron shot Star a look of pure lust and licked his lips. Now finally after all this time she was his.
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Sky sighed as the wind began to pick up. Being this close to the Black Mountain, it was not uncommon to see burned out greens and the smell of sulphur hung in the air perpetually. The blue wingtail knew from experience that the winds here could get pretty strong, mainly because of the heat being produced by the volcano influencing the weather in the area – well that was his best guess anyway.
Below him the gang was of notably poor spirits. They were tired and hungry, and Sky could also sense a bit of homesickness in them as well. Now the group of them had gone farther north then any of them had ever been before, and travelled more distance then any of their previous adventures combined (save their journey from the Shattered Lands to reach the Great Valley as children). Sky wanted to comfort them, make them feel better, but he didn’t know how. He had never really told a story before.
“Are you alright Littlefoot?” asked Sky as he hovered above the longneck.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Littlefoot lied.
“Come now I know the loss of your father hurt,” Sky replied, “I remember when I lost my father how much it hurt me… I didn’t get over it for many seasons.”
Littlefoot raised head and stopped.
“When is this going to stop Sky… we just keep going and going. We know you’re our friend and would never lead us astray, but we miss our home, and our families, and our friends… we miss not being chased and threatened and… living our lives normally.”
Sky landed in front of him with a thud, and the others turned around to see what was going on.
“I cannot say why we have endured so many hardships Littlefoot, but I promise our journey is nearing its end. One day, we will return to your Great Valley and you will see your grandparents again.”
“But… where are you taking us?” demanded Littlefoot sadly, remembering what Cera said some weeks ago when they split up. This time it was not in rage, but a representation of all the stresses that were pent up inside. Not all aspects of growing up were so nice.
“I’m taking you away. Away from the malice of my own kind and Tyron to a place where we can rest until all this business is over and I can return you to your home,” Sky answered.
Littlefoot wasn’t satisfied. He knew that Sky was hiding something from them, but he wasn’t sure what it could be. The wingtail had been one of their most trusted friends so far and had never failed to protect them… but he seemed reluctant to say where they were really going. Sky had said at first they were going to his homeland, but that idea soon passed far out of reach. Hopefully, their friend would tell them in time where he was taking them.
…
That night the gang made their resting place on a pot of soft volcanic sand. As night settled over the tropical landscape Sky sat alone on a rock, looking up at the stars. He did some rough measurements with his finger, before stopping his eyes on one particular star. It was sad, but looking up at the stars now… they all paled in comparison to his Star. One day he wanted to see her again and maybe even start a family. They would be happy together.
“Are you okay?” asked a small voice from behind him.
Sky was expecting it to be Ali or Littlefoot, but it turned out to be none other then Ducky.
“Sometimes I look up at the night sky too… it makes me feel better-er,” the swimmer commented.
“No Ducky, I’m fine,” Sky replied, and he thought of something interesting to say since he didn’t know her too well, “Did you know that many many seasons ago today, I hatched?”
Ducky gasped.
“Hooray! It’s your star day, it is!”
Sky had hoped to not bring this much attention to it, since nobody usually cared about these things. Since his parents died, nobody else had ever bothered to celebrate his birth. In fact, he was sure there were more dinosaurs in the world that wished he was never born.
“Star day?” asked the blue wingtail in bewilderment.
“It’s celebrating the day you hatched,” answered Ducky quoting something Ruby had said a few months ago, “we all have to get you something for your special day!”
“Thank you Ducky, but that won’t be necessary,” insisted Sky.
“Hey everyone come quick… it’s Sky’s star day!”
In less than a minute, the entire gang was right there with him.
“Now, now children it’s nothing to get worked up about,” Sky said with a bit of a chuckle.
“A star day is very important, it is it is!” said Ducky excitedly.
“Ducky’s right,” added Littlefoot, “we have to get you something for your star day.”
“Really, you don’t have to…” Sky stuttered with embarrassment.
“But we’re going to,” insisted Ali, “You’re the best!”
Sky shied away a bit. It was nice to think that he had such good friends.
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Wow, I loved this chapter. I think it’s amazing that you managed to pull off such heavily contrasting tones in each of the three sub-plots so well. The first one was funny (Cera’s wake-up call in particular :lol), the second extremely dark and quite scary, and the third starting out moderately dark but turning rather cheery at the end (leave it to Ducky to brighten things up! :DD).
And great to see some new OCs! A spiketail who’s evidently the verbal polar opposite of Spike (speech-wise, anyway), and an albino(?) egg stealer. (Just out of curiosity, and because I’m totally clueless when it comes to identifying accents, exactly what kind of accent is Gentry supposed to have?)
By the way, just a question/comment/suggestion on one line:
“Hmm, I don’t remember asking you Gentry,” Cera mumbled.
The “hmm” is meant to be perceived as that signature grumbling sound Cera makes when she’s irritated, right? If so, I’m wondering if anyone else initially interpreted it as the contemplative utterance the word “hmm” usually represents. That’s what I thought at first, until I read the rest of the sentence and realized that Cera was speaking sarcastically (the word “mumbled” was largely responsible for tipping me off). Maybe I just read and intuit sentences in a weird way (and if I’m alone in my initial misinterpretation of the sentence, then you can disregard me here :p), but I thought the sentence might read more clearly if you altered it to
“Hmm,” Cera mumbled, “I don’t remember asking you Gentry.”
so that the reader could sooner comprehend the tone of Cera’s line. (It might work even better if “mumbled” was changed to “grumbled” or “growled”.)
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Gentry (prounced GENT-Tree) is an albino egg-stealer with an Australian accent (at least how I percieve one), and as we learn more about him he talks about this as well. He's the son of one of Thor's older brothers who used to bully him back in the Dawn Valley (Rise of Storm Tide stuff). One thing that's interesting is we learn why and how both of them were captured by the twins and how they percieve what Eybron is making them do.
Apart from that, the Star Day bit I put in because it was Sky's birthday when I wrote it so I thought it would be a nice plot device.
(While the gang looks for something to give him for his Star Day, it provides a nice distraction from other darker things)
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Hehe, best birthday present ever! :lol Thank you so much!
I really liked this chapter. The part with Thylo is hilarious. :lol:
Oohh, the part with Star is getting dramatic... and I like it. :p Can't wait for the next part. :yes
Oh my, it's already Act III and I haven't even started drawing the picture for Act II yet. D: *goes to work*
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I'm glad you guys like it :smile
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There are so many plot points on the story now that it's becoming not so much a pain to think about what happens in them, but instead it's which ones to reveal in each chapter. We have Eybron's Story (if the hate isn't there yet it will be soon - no hints!), Glide's Story, Star's Story, both the main gangs which are swelling in size by the chapter and finally the redux stories from the end of Act II about Prince Tyrus being upscaled by Tharon and Bron having to obey the sharptooth commands. This is getting really really hard to manage! I'll have to organize things by this weekend to produce a cohesive and interesting chapter.
The End of Innocence is upon us, but the question is exactly who's innocence is about to end? Tune in this weekend for the details :lol
Caustizer.
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Part II: The Loss of Innocence
Ever since the sharptooth attacks, things just hadn’t been the same in the Forgotten Forest. After Bron had limped back to the feeding fields, things began to calm down and the panic of the adult longnecks turned into sympathy for his injuries. A few of the single females doted on him while he recovered, but that was nothing new.
News came from Brayton and the other adults that the entire forest had been scoured and not a trace of the sharptooth attackers had been found. Measures were taken almost exactly as Sky had recommended a week earlier, with members of the herd travelling in pairs and supervising their children at all times. Bron worried for Littlefoot, but a part of him knew that his only son was a survivor and it would take more then a few sharpteeth to bring him down. So in the days following the sudden departure of his offspring, he pondered what exactly he was going to do about the demands of the so called ëTyrant King’. It concerned him that the meat-eaters could be so organized and focused to carry out such an attack without ripping him to shreds. Clearly Tyron was a worthy adversary, but as far as the threats of retribution on the children went they were very real and he couldn’t bear to be responsible for such an act. He would need to come up with a solution before the seventh great circle rise or else.
“I can’t believe Littlefoot just up and left like that… he is so stuck up,” complained Shorty one day as he kicked a rock in frustration.
“You know how he is Shorty,” chuckled Bron, “he makes his own way now and it’s up to us to simply guide him wherever he goes.”
“Oh yeah,” Shorty snubbed, “but what about me… am I supposed to make my own way too? You’re always so busy you never have any time for me as you do for him.”
“Calm down Shorty,” Bron lectured as he started licking the cuts on his leg, “Keep in mind we see each other all the time… with Littlefoot it’s only on certain occasions.”
Bron had been told that his spit was the best healing agent available, so he had to lick the cuts clean everyday to keep them from getting infected. It was painful, but it was less so then it could be.
“Wow you must have really kicked the tails of those sharpteeth… how many did you squash with your feet?” Shorty asked excitedly, changing the subject.
“I’d prefer not to talk about it,” responded Bron.
“What’s gotten into you dad?” Shorty pushed, annoyed with Bron’s unwillingness to talk about his exploits, “You used to love telling me about all the things you did… like when you crossed the volcanic pits and met the Lone Dinosaur.”
Bron sighed.
“I’ll tell you when I’m ready Shorty,” said Bron, before adding with a smile, “I have to think of a good way to tell it first.”
…
As the deadline drew nearer the longnecks in Bron’s herd began to note odd sounds in the woods, and occasionally mentioned seeing strange pairs of eyes watching them from the brush. Most of his other aides thought the accounts were made up, but Bron knew they were signs that the sharpteeth were back and they were waiting for him to make his move.
It was a hard decision to make, but in the end Bron decided that someone from his herd needed to be sacrificed to preserve the lives of the others. It was madness, but he had no choice. The only question was who would be the one.
An older member of his herd, a longneck named Xavier, had been blind for many seasons and talked about nothing but dying even while his many children guided him to the feeding place every day. One day he knew the old longneck was just not going to wake up, so Bron felt it was his duty to give him a more noble cause to die for.
Of course, nobody in the Forest would know about his deal with the sharpteeth because if they did he would be cast out and another leader would be chosen instead – a leader that won’t know what happens if the conditions went unfulfilled. Hence, Bron kept it on the low and disguised it as a scouting task when he first told of his intentions at the meeting of the herd he called the night before the day.
“I have come to know that the sharpteeth who did this to my leg may return, and it is important that we are ready to protect ourselves if they do,” Bron announced.
The circle of about 14 adults – one from each family – spoke in silent whispers of fear. His closest aide, Brayton, was present for his family group and piped up with an important question.
“What are you going to do Bron?” he asked.
Many of the others echoed the same question.
“I’m going to dispatch a scout… somebody to shout out if they see or hear the sharpteeth coming.”
“Well then we will need a volunteer… someone of superior speed and of keen sight to watch for them,” suggested a female across the circle.
“He will need to be strong… to teach those sharpteeth a lesson before they even get into our forest!” demanded another male as he ground his teeth.
“I will be sending Xavier,” responded Bron, and the entire group went silent.
“You can’t send that blind fool… he’ll probably fall asleep and get us all killed,” blared the male who just made the strength suggestion.
“Hey watch it that’s my father you’re talking about!” answered a different male.
“I’m sending him because of his keen hearing,” answered Bron, “he can detect sharpteeth approaching that we otherwise cannot. This is my decision and if anyone wishes to assume my duty as leader instead let them step forward now.”
Nobody did.
“Good. Brino tell your father of his task and ensure he leaves at great circle rise tomorrow. All our hopes rest with him.”
Reluctantly, Brino obeyed and the meeting of the Forgotten Forest’s longnecks dispersed. Bron remained behind, and took one last glance up at the night sky. He knew that his mate, Littlefoot’s dead mother, could see him and that somewhere up there she was weeping for him and his loss of innocence.
The following morning as old Xavier hobbled along and out into the wastes, Bron made silent note of his name. Someday, he would tell everyone about his noble sacrifice.
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It was an odd crowd that now lived in the bottom of the Abyss Lake Caverns, but their mutual friendship helped them get along for the first week they were trapped there. At one end of the cave was a network of tunnels that led in an unfamiliar and completely dark direction, while the other end opened up to a warm pool that was routinely filled with water brought in by the waves of the lake. It was full of various water greens, some growing naturally and others swept in by the tides.
The first thing Ruby noticed was the large gap in the rocks that led out of the prison-cave and into the light. They could possibly use it to escape.
“Aye I saw that one too,” stated Gentry as he walked up beside Ruby, “it’s no way out of this mess though, leads straight out into dark water.”
“Dark water isn’t that bad,” answered Ruby, “often the bad things in the water prefer the light water over the dark water.”
“Hang on a minute,” corrected Gentry, “could you say that again for me?”
Ruby raised an eyebrow… she thought she had said it clearly enough. After a moment she repeated the sentence. The white egg-stealer poked in just before she had finished the line.
“Now hold on there,” interrupted Gentry as he tapped the side of his head, “think about what you are going to say before you say it, that way you don’t go repeating yourself too much mate.”
Ruby felt a pang of anger resonate through her. They had only just met and he was already making fun of the way she spoke. It flashed very briefly on her face before she concealed it, but luckily Gentry missed the expression and continued.
“You would sound a ton better if you learned to articulate your thoughts as you complete them all. I used to sing quite a bit back in the…”
Cera recognized the break in Ruby’s emotional composure and decided to play on it. After all, the threehorn was mad not only about the lack of attention she was getting but also the fact that two snotty flyers had beaten her and thrown her down here against her will. She had to take it out on someone.
“This egg-napper is talking down about you, and you’re just going to take it?” challenged Cera to Ruby, “If I were you I’d give him a piece of my mind!”
Gentry stepped back in alarm.
“Don’t go taking this wrong, I’m just trying my best to help right this out,” he responded hastily.
Ruby’s anger quickly changed to concern. She stepped in front of Gentry, and spoke to Cera moving her hands in a series of gestures that went along with what she was saying.
“It’s alright Cera; he’s just trying to help me help myself.”
Ruby turned and briefly smiled at Gentry over her shoulder, who returned the expression. Cera snorted with indignity.
“If you ask me he’s the one who should be getting help,” the threehorn blurted, “the way he talks it’s like he spent his entire life in a hole.”
“At least I know when to keep my bloody nose out of other people’s business then don’t I?” Gentry countered.
Cera snarled and in a flash charged past Ruby, hitting Gentry directly in the chest and knocking him into the water.
“If you’re not going to stick up for yourself then I will,” Cera said to Ruby who looked horrified.
On that note the threehorn stuck up her nose and walked away. Gentry came up coughing and spitting, and even though the pool was only two feet deep he had been caught by surprise and breathed in a mouthful of water on the way down. Ruby hopped down into the water and helped him up.
“Are you alright,” she asked with concern.
“Nothing but a bump on the head,” the egg-stealer responded good-heartedly then shot an angry glance in Cera’s direction, “though that was downright rotten of your friend.”
“That’s just how Cera is,” replied Ruby with a smile, “she gets mad at any one for any thing.”
Both the fast runner and the egg-stealer were covered in slimy green food courtesy of the lake’s leavings. Gentry noticed a piece of seaweed had landed itself around Ruby’s frill and reached up and removed it. There was a bit of a touching moment as their eyes met, and again Ruby felt that old unfamiliar feeling building up again. The whole scene reminded her of when Rozzy pulled her out of the lake in the Dawn Valley.
“Don’t be getting any ideas now,” insisted Gentry with a brief smile, and he waded past her and up onto the bank.
His tale flicked as he removed the strings of slime that covered it, and soon Ruby had followed him onto shore and did the same. She sighed as the happy memory left her mind and reality set in again. They were trapped down here in a cave with no way out and no hope of rescue. Who knows how long the wingtails would leave them down here to fend for themselves.
All of a sudden Thylo bounded into the water pool area, and skidded to a halt. She was breathing hard and looked like she could blurt out a thousand words a minute, if only her body would let her. Gentry, Cera and Ruby where eating and drinking their fill from the slimy pool without really enjoying it so Thylo’s interruption was a bit of a relief for them.
“Guys, guys come quick there was one of them and…he dropped and… we were shocked and…” sputtered Thylo as fast as she could, and the three dinosaurs present promptly whirled on their feet to see what was wrong.
Luckily as Thylo caught her breath Chomper came in at a more leisurely pace.
“Umm, you guys gotta come see this,” the sharptooth commented as he waved for them to follow.
…
Followed by only the sounds of their footsteps clicking off the walls, the group of small dinosaurs made their way back to the middle of the cave. Chomper led them nearly back to the hole in the ceiling where they were dropped, before stopping just out of sight of it and biding the rest of them to be silent. Naturally for Thylo it was quite difficult as she was nearly jumping out of her skin with excitement.
“What is it Chomper why are we hiding?” asked Ruby in a whisper.
“Shhh,” silenced Chomper with a finger to his mouth, “look over there…”
Ruby peeked around the corner and looked around the cavern for something amiss. The illumination provided by the beam of light in the ceiling gap made it an easy search, and near the hole propped up against the wall was one of the most vicious wingtails she had ever seen.
Glide had come to when they threw him down the hole, and with his world shattered into a million pieces the only thing left for him was sit with his back against the wall and breath in and out to carry on his life. Blood still covered both his face and his precious fur, and in his mouth he could taste it’s bitterness on his tongue. His ribs felt like they had been caved in and that the injury had made itself anew, but nothing compared to the pain of knowing that his sister had betrayed his trust.
From the moment his uncle had told him to watch over his sister he had taken the duty absolutely to heart and ensured that nobody could play with her emotions and steal her heart. That nobody could abandon her and leave her broken, or lay so much as a single feather on her. In this whole world the only thing they had was each other, but now that was gone along with both his freedom and good health.
With all this pain pounding him, both from the inside and out, Glide did something he hadn’t done in many many years. He cried. It wasn’t a flowing sob or a wail of misery, but it started with a single tear, and then another, and another.
“Oh it’s one of them,” commented Cera with a bit of spite, but she couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.
“He looks quite a bit banged up he does,” added Gentry, but there was really nothing else to say.
“Ruby, wait!” Chomper said with urgency, but it was too late.
Without a word, Ruby hopped around the corner and into sight. She was afraid of what the wingtail might do to her, but it didn’t get in the way of her urge to ease his suffering. They might be mean creatures, but had feelings too and she could tell this particular flyer was a wreck. He noticed her almost right away, and turned to stare in her direction. In his glance there was a mixture of surprise and hate.
“Umm, are you alright?” asked Ruby nervously.
“Do I look alright to you… do I?” shouted Glide as he picked up a rock on the ground next to him and hurled it in her direction.
It was a clear miss, but he didn’t intend to injure but instead to ward away the fastrunner. Glide wanted to be alone.
“I…I can help if you want me to,” persisted Ruby cautiously, “my friends say I’m good at helping someone who needs help.”
“Leave me alone…” remised Glide as he turned away.
It was clear he wanted nothing to do with Ruby, but she wasn’t quite ready to give up just yet. Sensing his pain she took another few steps closer.
“You don’t have to be like this,” Ruby began, “I know a few herbs than I can use to–”
Glide turned and hissed loudly at her, snarling in rage.
“What did I just say hatchling? Go away before I hurt you.”
Ruby backed up a few steps, but not out of fear. He was just lashing out because he had nothing left but his dignity. Sooner or later he would have to accept the situation and that they were together in the same cave indefinitely, but until then she would have to do her best to bring him around.
“Wingtails eat water-swimmers right,” Ruby suggested, and then piped up excitedly, “I’ll bring you something to eat.”
Glide glared at her with venom, but otherwise didn’t say a word.
“What are you doing Ruby?” asked Cera rhetorically when she made it back around the corner, “in case you hadn’t noticed he’s one of them!”
“Yeah Ruby,” added Chomper nervously, “maybe it’s a better idea we just leave him alone.”
“I know,” addressed Ruby, “but he can’t be with the others since he’s down here with us. We should at least help him since he can’t help himself.”
“I agree in the fullest,” said Gentry with a bit of a smile, “if he’s not up there with them then he’s down here and with us.”
“Did anyone see how he snapped his beak like that?” mentioned Thylo, “it’s so cool he could have shattered a tree branch with jaws like that I wish I could see him do it again.”
The group shot odd glances at Thylo, who embarrassingly silenced herself.
It would appear that Ruby’s half of the gang had now received a new friend that they had to learn to live with whether they liked it or not. At some point perhaps an aggressive and mean wingtail like Glide could come around, but in all instances it wasn’t too likely. Until then, they would have to avoid him like one would a sharptooth.
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Another nigh-on perfect chapter. :lol:
I have to say, I never expected Bron to be the one to "lose his innocence". If I had to do something like that, it'd probably haunt me for the rest of my life.
And Glide being chucked in with Ruby and Co... I have a feeling sparks will fly. :o
The only thing I can find wrong with this chapter is that you are using the word "then" where "than" should be used. I will elaborate on this later if I have the time.
Awesome, awesome, awesome... :yes
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Interesting chapter. Nothing on Littlefoot and Sky’s group or any of the villains; just Bron’s herd and the imprisoned group. And like SouthPawRacer, I wouldn’t have guessed that the chapter’s title refers to Bron. Way to surprise us, Caustizer! :yes
As I was reading this chapter, I saw the name “Xavier” and thought, “Hey, wait a minute! I thought that was Littlefoot’s son’s name!” Then came the lightbulb moment and I thought, “Ohhhh...that’s where he GOT his name!” :oops It would appear that Bron ended up telling Xavier’s story to Littlefoot, at least.
I liked Gentry’s line at the end of the chapter:
“I agree in the fullest,” said Gentry with a bit of a smile, “if he’s not up there with them then he’s down here and with us.”
Is he teasing Ruby, or just warming up to her way of speaking? :lol
As usual, I can’t wait for more! :smile
(900th post, by the way.)
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The original loss of innocence wasn't going to be Bron, and was going to coincide with a different event later in the Act. An event which I'm sure you've heard enough about to sit on the edge your seat when I finally tell you what it is :lol
"Loss of Innocence" is a term that was made popular in Lord of the Flies when the children kill the pig, and in this case it refers to the fact that Bron makes a choice between doing the right thing with a lot of risk, and doing the wrong thing to ensure there is no risk. For better or worse, he makes his choice and now one cannot argue he doesn't deserve it when he suffers the consiquences of his actions (which may or may not occur :smile, I'm always one for surprises).
And yes Xavier, Littlefoot's son, is named after the longneck Bron sends to his death. This is significant because it not only states how Xavier got such an odd name that was out of joint with his parents (ie. it is too normal compared to the more-longneckish names of his dad and Bron). I felt this was important, because I am always one to have pristine continuity (apart from Ruby's dad, but that blunder from Rise of Storm Tide is important as you will see).
“I agree in the fullest,” said Gentry with a bit of a smile, “if he’s not up there with them then he’s down here and with us.”
Is he teasing Ruby, or just warming up to her way of speaking?
I'll leave that one open for interpretation. :angel
Gentry and Ruby have a bit of an odd relationship, and for anyone who hasn't read Rise of Storm Tide Ruby is seperated from the gang and spends some time with an egg-stealer named Rozzy (who is Ozzy's son - yes that Ozzy) whom she had a bit of a crush on. Since thats the only other egg-stealer she has ever known and the races are so similar in size and stature, Gentry constantly reminds her of her first encounter even though he is a different person entirely.
Caustizer.
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If you haven't heard my computer has a vicious virus on it that unforunately makes it unusable until it gets fixed this week. On that computer is the first half of Part III, so rather then typing it all out again I'm just going to have to post it seperately when I get my computer back.
In the meantime, here is Part IIIA and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Have a happy holiday
Caustizer.
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Part IIIA: The Great Feast
The snows were finally gone, and with their departure came the receding hard water cover on the Abyss Lake. Fish in their hundreds arose from their two month long slumber and meandered about in the frigid waters to gather their bearings and work out an entire season of sleep from their flesh. For some of them, there would be no second chances.
Wingtails in their hundreds flocked to the skies embracing the warmth of the spring with cries of laughter and joy. This was the best time of the year for them when the food returned and a winter of near starvation was finally over. As a community they were extremely thankful for the blessing that the great circle had given them, and they celebrated to prove it. This was the Wingtail Christmas, or otherwise known as the Fish Trade. These fliers were very intelligent creatures, and for five days and five nights an impressive array of events and competitions textured the honored celebration. Everything from Ring Fighting, to Flying Races, to fish eating competitions, and even certain special performances that the entire forest looked forward to were part of the festival. For instance, once a season the oldest living relative of Benzon would return from his travels and show off the masterful creations he had spent the year working on. Even this many seasons after the disappearance of the Grand Creator, his family was still making art not just of glass but also works of a completely different nature – magic. Not real magic of course, but a mixture of sleight of hand and trickery that astonished and amazed whenever Aizon did his shows. Indeed such was the atmosphere of the event that even some other fliers attended as well, though they were in the minority. Nevertheless the entire forest was abuzz with preparation and anticipation.
Even Sky couldn’t help but get caught up in the festivities. On this particular day the trees by the water were so crowded with other wingtails that he couldn’t find a place to land. Luckily his friend Edwin knew he would be late and saved him a spot right by the lake. The green wingtail was tapping his foot impatiently as Sky glided in for a landing without a care in the world.
“You should really think about being more punctual Sky… you won’t believe how many hatchlings I’ve had to fend off to keep this place for you!” Edwin exclaimed with a tad of mock disgust.
“They weren’t all your siblings were they?” questioned Sky with a grin.
Edwin had so many brothers and sisters that he preferred not to even talk about them. Being so intelligent had helped the green wingtail escape their shadow, but because he was somewhat smaller then them he tended to get picked on a little bit. It was how Sky and him became friends… Sky was so cool that everyone liked him and so long as Edwin was his friend he would be admired too, or at least not bothered. Sometimes having well known friends had its disadvantages though, especially when said friend makes you do all the work.
“Maybe some of them,” replied Edwin with a bit of embarrassment, and he thought to change the subject, “so… have you decided what you’re going to contribute to the festival this year?”
“Umm,” answered Sky with uncertainty, “well I suppose I have something.”
Edwin decided to press him.
“You’re not planning to enter the fish eating contest again? Remember what happened the last time you did that.”
Every wingtail had to participate in the Fish Festival in one way or another – it was tradition. Sky frequently procrastinated, and last year he entered the fish eating contest at the last minute only to lose all of them after the 6th one. It was pretty embarrassing, and Sky had to endure weeks of taunts after he hurled all over himself. Logically, he would be better prepared for it this year.
“No Edwin… I believe I will be doing a bit of, shall we say, magic,” replied Sky confidently as he demonstrated his abilities with a wide and extravagant swoop of his wing.
ëHmm, I’ll believe it when I see it,” chided Edwin as he crossed his arms.
“What… You don’t think I can do it? Hah just watch me!” retorted Sky.
Across the small glen in a different tree Star and Glide were in a private conversation.
“Can’t I come with you today Glide… I want to fish on my own this time,” whined Star.
“The hunt has no place for females,” responded Glide coldly, “I’ll get you something to eat… wait here until I come back understand?”
Star sighed.
“Alright…”
Glide gripped her chin affectionately.
“Remember… if anyone tries to hurt you call for me and I’ll be right here.”
Star brushed his hand off and looked away.
“Hey, I’m just looking out for you sis… with all these ravenous males around I wouldn’t want one to try and take a bite of you,” added Glide.
“I know,” submitted Star depressedly, “have a good hunt.”
“Stay safe.”
Glide and Star touched noses briefly, before the black wingtail took off towards the lake to join the rest of the group.
…
“Poor girl,” commented Edwin, “that brother of hers has the vines wrapped so tight around her neck she can barely breathe.”
Suddenly Sky had an idea.
“What do you say I go over there and cheer her up a bit,” the blue wingtail said with a hint of lust.
“Oh I wouldn’t do that Sky… her brother is last years fight champion you know.”
Sky snorted.
“Bah, the only reason Glide won is because Eybron didn’t fight this year. He would stuff his face in any day.”
“Still… I don’t think this is a good idea,” warned Edwin, but it was too late.
Sky swooped down off the branch and skimmed the surface of the water, gripping a lily flower in his feet as he flew over. A moment later he hovered and settled calmly on the branch behind Star. She didn’t even look at him, as she was busy watching Glide disappear over the horizon.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” piped up Sky, remarking on the sunset.
Star turned to face him, and for the first time the two locked eyes.
“I suppose,” replied Star nervously as she shied away.
Seeing that this wasn’t working, Sky decided to try a different tactic.
“What’s that?” the blue wingtail asked with urgency.
“Huh?” said Star as she looked around frantically to find out what he had seen.
“Behind your ear,” added Sky with a grin.
Star looked confused as she brushed both sides of her head and found nothing.
“Here, let me get that for you.”
Using the sleight of hand his father had been teaching him, Sky palmed the lily flower to his hand and made it appear as though it had popped out from thin air.
“But… how did?” Star stammered in confusion, “what did you…”
“It’s for you,” smiled Sky as he placed the moist flower in her hand, and closed her fingers around it.
Star was lost for words.
“I… its lovely thank you,” she said as she sniffed the flower.
“That may be… but it’s nothing compared to you.”
Their eyes met again, and this time Star did not turn away. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. The moment was so precious that as they locked hands Sky didn’t hear Edwin’s warnings.
“Sky!” Edwin shouted, “Look out!”
There was a terrible screech as Glide dove in and knocked them both apart. In a fit of rage the black wingtail descended on Sky and slammed him into the tree trunk.
“Finally… after all this time I finally get to kill you.”
Glide wrapped his hands tightly around Sky’s neck. He couldn’t breathe.
“No, Sky!” shouted Star, “you have to stay alive… stay alive for our baby!”
…
With a rush of shock the real Sky opened his eyes, gasping for breath. It all seemed so real, so traumatic that it took him a few seconds to realize that it was only a sleep story and he was still alive and well.
The great circle was just beginning to rise, and as the orange volcanic sun emerged from the dark depths of the horizon to greet the gang, Sky panted as the alternate dimension of his subconscious finally began to retreat. Rubbing his eyes, the blue wingtail saw that the gang was still sleeping. Ali was snoring and Petrie emitted the odd twitch as he lay on Littlefoot’s warm back.
Sky couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty for bringing them all along with him. Their parents were sure to be missing them by now, and may even be searching. It would be fruitless however as by now they were so far gone that even he did not know where they were. The blue wingtail knew vaguely that there was another green valley up here on the side of the Black Mountain but he couldn’t remember the name – or anything about it.
Apart from this, Star’s last words in his dream echoed in his head.
“Stay alive for our baby,”
Sky had never even thought about that night he and Star mated amounting to anything, but as stunning as it was in a month or so Star would be bearing young. His young. A knot formed in his stomach as the realization hit him… he certainly wasn’t ready to be a father. With so much going wrong in the world for him, the last thing he wanted was to bring a child into the world. Fate was a cruel beast, but if there was one thing he knew more then anything else it was that he loved Star more then words could possibly describe. She was his world, and someday he would return to her and they would be happy… someday.
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Ahaha! I was listening to this song while reading the chapter: link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUv8GuuCDCo)
It fits perfectly to the feast. :D Even the scene with Glide and Star the music suddently went calm. ^_^
Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter, even if it's only the half part. :lol:
Hmm... baby you say? Already? I wonder... a boy or a girl? Or even more hatchlings? :blink: :lol
Anyway, I'm really excited to read the next half. :DD
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Sorry for my late feedback. Darn holidays are making me lose track of everything. :p
Am I correct in assuming that the dream (at least up until the point where Glide speaks to Sky) represents a real-life experience of Sky’s? If yes, I’d like to know what happened to Edwin. :p
Another thing: how does this scene (Sky waking up from the dream) fit in with the last chapter involving Sky’s group, with Ducky, Ali, Littlefoot, Petrie, and Spike wanting to hold a star day celebration for him?
Whoa, just noticed a little writing blooper: :blink:
It was pretty embarrassing, and Sky had to endure weeks of taunts for weeks after he hurled all over himself.
You don’t have Ruby helping you on this, do you? :p
Oh, heck, as long as I’m pointing out errors, here’s another sentence with a couple more:
“Can’t I come with you today Glide… I want to fish on my own this time,” whine Star.
The first part of Star’s line needs a question mark, and the underlined word should be "whined" (a typo, I'm guessing).
Good luck with your computer! :)
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The errors have been fixed, thank you for catching them. Sky's dream is actually the night after the gang agreed to find him a star day present. This part of the chapter was actually intended to be part IIIB, as I had good Eybron/Tyrus bits in part IIIA before my computer went in.
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Part IIIB: The Great Feast
The spiketail had had a lot of fight in him, but in the end Prince Tyrus was able to overpower and end its life without too much trouble. He loved being so large and powerful, where no creature could stand up to him and live. Up until recently he had thought he was invincible, but that villainous flyer proved he was still inferior to the land itself and now he had the scars to prove it.
There was not a single cloud in the sky over the Cratered Glen today, and despite its near complete lack of vegetation the air was crisp and clean. Light brown dirt with the occasional pot of sand filled the gaps between the craters which were nearly twice as long as the sharptooth was high. Sometimes they contained water, but it was rare as the beating sun quickly dried them up.
The spiketail he had just killed was wandering alone without purpose or direction and hence was the perfect victim to sate Tyrus’ hunger. It had taken a few minutes of brutal fighting, but of course he prevailed without too much effort. In his mind this was how things should be… hunting and killing prey one on one as nature intended. His father Tyron did things differently however and apparently valued trickery over outright power. One day, when he Tyrus became king, he would end this foolishness and go back to feeding the right way… the honourable way.
The sharptooth prince gorged himself on the fresh carcass for a while, until a familiar scent came to his nostrils on the wind. Sniffing loudly, he raised his head to see his uncle Tharon trudging through the wastes followed by his little entourage of fast-biters. They all looked tired, vicious, and above all hungry. Tyrus revelled in the glances they were shooting his fresh kill. Licking the blood off his lips, he couldn’t resist the urge to taunt them.
“Had a good hunt did we Tharon?”
“Watch your tone with me whelp, don’t think I can’t put you down right here,” growled Tharon, his hunger giving him an all too familiar edge.
“So this is how you want to live… baring your teeth to leaf-eaters while the rest of us feed ourselves? You’re a disgrace to our kind,” responded Tyrus with venom.
Tharon roared, causing the ground to shake.
“I am loyal to my brother and my family… were it not for this I would tear out your throat and feed you to the pack!” the massive sharptooth boomed.
“Well then, I’d like to see who the ëpack’ truly follows,” Tyrus responded, and he stepped off his kill slowly.
The fast-biters who were present immediately descended on the corpse, tearing it to shreds while the two relatives exchanged hard words.
“The old way is dead Tyrus,” commented Tharon who calmed down a bit now that the pack was at least content, he had been worried they would turn on him, “we all feed each other now and if you cannot except this then you will never be our king.”
Tyrus responded to the threat with one of his own.
“Mark my words, one day this unnatural sherade of you and my father is going to end… and when it does and you are lying on the ground begging for my mercy, I’m going to rip out your throat.”
“Not if I get to you first,” Tharon snarled.
Having fed themselves the fast-biters contented themselves to short rest, and they turned to watch the impending fight with glee. After all the work they had done over the past few days, it was nice to have dinner and a show.
Strangely, Redgar and his pack were not amongst them.
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Dawn was already rising in the Feral Forest as the light wind wound it’s way through the various trees stirring up the leaves and showering the morning dew in all directions. In the northern part of the forest there was a hill on which all the venerable wingtails made their roost. It was part of their tradition that the oldest of wingtails would live in the tallest of trees not only to symbolize their age and role in society but also to make it easier for their younger attendants to know where to deliver their daily catch.
Knowledge was possibly the most valuable thing that the Wingtails possessed, apart from each other, and it was this pillar that they believed brought them above the other ëlesser’ creatures. While it could be excused as mere arrogance, the above average intelligence of the wingtails had manifested itself many times over and had led to other dinosaurs referring to them as ëcreators’ for their ability to manipulate nature around them.
Star had an escape plan in mind as she sat in Eybron’s tree pretending to be asleep. The white-grey wingtail hadn’t tried to mate with her yet, but he had planned many separate ëdates’ to take her with him on over the next few days - and she didn’t intend to go on any of them. With her lover missing and her brother being kept in a sorry state somewhere she didn’t know about, there was no way she was bowing to the perpetrator of these vile acts. The only way out now was to find Sky, and run away with him after she told the elders what was going on.
In a smooth soundless motion the scarlet wingtail stepped along the branch, making for the entrance hole into the thick canopy of the tree. Eybron was asleep across from her, the sounds of his breathing filling the cavernous space. As the morning light shined across her face, Star stretched her wings to get ready for flight.
“Going somewhere?” came Eybron’s voice behind her.
Star gasped in surprise, and rapidly turned around to face him.
“I happen to be a very light sleeper,” the white wingtail said with a vicious smile.
“I have a class to teach this morning… and if I’m not there then they will come looking for me,” Star replied with authority.
“And who is ëthey’?” snarled Eybron.
“The concerned parents of the ones I teach,” Star said calmly as she brushed back her frill feathers, “I’ve never been late before.”
Two of Eybron’s nearby guards had arisen and were watching from the trees. If there was a way to escape now it would have to be through her usual duties. Star’s class actually didn’t start until the great circle was highest in the sky, but her wannabe lover didn’t know that.
Eybron stood in thought for a moment.
“Alright,” he said after a while, “go prepare our hatchlings for their future. It will give you plenty of practise for when we have our own.”
Star bit back a retort, and pushed through the wingtail guards who were blocking her way with indignity.
“But remember what happens to your poor sickly brother if you tell anyone of our little courtship,” stated Eybron.
“Glide better be okay or you’ll be sorry for what you did to him,” shot Star in anger.
“Oh I am sorry, but now you know what happens to lairs and traitors… just like your little love interest Sky. I think I would like to meet him… we would get along fabulously.”
“Over my dead body,” thought Star as she shot him a glare and departed.
Eybron watched her leave, and turned to his two guards present. One brown, and the other green.
“Percell, Edwin… I want you to keep an eye on her for me. If she attempts to run away or talks… you know what to do.”
The two wingtails nodded, and set off after their charge. The green one looked notably uneasy, and lagged behind a bit as they rounded the trees.
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I liked the sub-chapter focusing on Tyrus and Tharon. While I’ve praised the effectiveness of your antagonistic characters before, something I don’t believe I’ve mentioned yet is that I like how you’ve managed to turn the sharpteeth in this story into true villains, in the sense that they do not simply hunt other dinosaurs for food, but have taken to subjugating and manipulating whole communities of them, to provide themselves with a steady supply of prey, sent directly to them. Strangely enough, I find myself somewhat sympathetic to Tyrus’s view of his father’s empire as dishonorable and a perversion of nature. (If the leafeaters knew about Tyrus’s opinions, I think they might even be eager to see him assume leadership, if it meant that the sharpteeth would return to their old hunting methods.)
The Star/Eybron segment inspired a number of (rhetorical) questions for me. I’m wondering what happened to the Occular, and what Eybron wants with it. (Actually, apart from Star, I’ve got no idea what he wants with ANYTHING he’s been after. :wacko) Does he need anything else with Sky now that he has the Occular? I’m also glad to see that Edwin’s going to have a larger part in the story than just a figure in a flashback. I’m curious about how he ended up working for Eybron, and if it turns out that Eybron’s not through with Sky, how he’s going to handle antagonizing his former friend.
Just noticed an error:
“we all feed each other now and if you cannot except this then you will never be our king.”
That should be “accept”.
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Apart from Sky being Star's lover, Eybron has another more concrete reason for hating him. Of course that revelation coincides with the Black Dawn which we are getting quite close to.
The Occular becomes very important to the final outcome of the story, but ehm that's not something I'm sure you want me to reveal too much about is it?
I'll look over and correct the chapter tommarrow with your amendments.
Caustizer.
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The Occular becomes very important to the final outcome of the story, but ehm that's not something I'm sure you want me to reveal too much about is it?
No, please keep me in the dark about spoilers. :p Any time I ponder or speculate on upcoming events in the story, assume that I am asking rhetorical questions, or am simply thinking out loud. I want to be as surprised as possible.
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Hey Caustizer!
Just to let you know that I am steadily catching up with your fanfic. I'm up to chp 14 so far and I've gotta say that the continuity of quality has been excellent ;) I reviewed up to chp 13 the other day on FF.net but I'll reiterate about how the depth of character portrayal, both good guys and bad, is wonderful. I'll get around to finishing the other chapters when I can.
Keep up the good work matey ;)
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Posted here is about 2/3rds of the next chapter. The heels are dragging with this story now even though it is over half way done, and I figure it's better to give you guys something to munch on now then postpone the entire chapter indefinately so i can finish the last bit.
After the start of the last part, The Eye of the World, I am thinking of having like a Far Away Home marathon, where I post two or three chapters in rapid succession as things begin to come together.
Part IVa: Arrival
Things had gotten incredibly boring within the Abyssal Caves for Cera, Chomper and the gang. The days just seemed to stretch on, and with the overwhelming tide of the lake blocking their escape and an angry wingtail keeping them from exploring the caves some more the entire group just ate, slept, and occasionally talked about their past lives.
“My brothers and sisters never really kept me around too much… not because they hated my hide but because… well… they hated my hide,” explained Gentry, “my skin colour was so obvious that any bloke could see me coming from a horizon away.”
Cera and Chomper were there too, displaying both fatigue at sitting around and doing nothing as well as restlessness for something to do. The small sharptooth was picking up a single rock and dropping it over and over again as he sat on the ground, while Cera was laying her head on her crossed arms in boredom.
“Can’t we talk about something else?” asked Cera, “…like how we’re going to get out of here?”
Chomper lobbed the rock into the pool half heartedly.
“I wish Littlefoot was here… he would know how to get out.”
Cera snorted.
“Hah, more like he would get his new friend Sky to show him the way.”
“Are you still mad about that?” inquired Chomper thoughtfully.
“Well just look at where we are,” Cera said bitterly as she rose to her feet, “if it wasn’t for Sky being so stuck up and leading us on a green food in-the-wind chase for no good reason, we would all still be in the Great Valley with our families.”
“Not mine,” replied Chomper sadly.
It had been a long time since Chomper had seen his parents, and although Ruby’s family had been really nice to him it just wasn’t the same. He missed them and every now and then it grew very depressing to know that he might not ever see them again.
“Say, who’s this Sky mate you’re talking about?” interjected Gentry.
“He’s a wingtail we met in our home the Great Valley,” answered Chomper, “he seemed kind of nice, at least when he spoke to me.”
…
A length of the tunnel-like cave away, Glide’s eyes snapped open. Ruby jumped back in fright, certain he had heard her enter.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” apologized Ruby.
The fastrunner was holding a fish in her hand that she had just caught from the pool. She had been hunting water swimmers since she first started swimming to the point where it had become a completely natural thing to her. Ruby’s mom had forbid her to do it in the Great Valley though when she came with Chomper so the leaf eaters wouldn’t be inclined to drive her out, but now that her mom and siblings lived there she could eat what she pleased. During her swim she thought of how long the mysterious wingtail had been sitting there alone at the bottom of the entrance hole and decided to get him something to eat. One thing she wasn’t too sure of though was how her gesture would be received.
Glide yawned and flapped his wings once, before settling into his standard composure.
“What do you want?” the black wingtail said roughly.
“I… I brought you something to eat so you wouldn’t be so hungry,” replied Ruby, as she approached him with the bluish water swimmer.
Glide simply watched her unblinkingly as she set it down next to him and backed up.
“Why are you doing this runner?” he asked curiously with a slight edge.
“Everyone has to eat when they’re hungry,” Ruby said with a smile, “you haven’t eaten for a long time, and so I thought you would be really hungry.”
The black wingtail glanced from side to side, to make sure nobody else was around to hear him.
“Thanks,” he whispered considerately.
Light on her feet, Ruby waved and went back into the dark caverns towards the pool.
…
“Can I tell my story now… please, please, please?” butted in Thylo just as Cera had finished talking about herself.
“Fine, but it’s supposed to be Chomper’s turn,” insisted Cera.
“It’s okay… I’m not that interesting anyway,” Chomper admitted.
“Oh, oh… tell me how you got all those nasty teeth!” Thylo pushed.
Cera and Gentry raised their eyebrows (or at least their upper eye lines since they have no hair) at the stupidity of the question.
“Umm… well…” started Chomper awkwardly.
“From feasting all on little spiketail chops,” laughed Gentry he grabbed her tail.
“Hey,” blurted Thylo as she yanked her tail out of the egg-stealer’s grip, “stop it…”
“Only when you stop asking bloody stupid questions,” retorted Gentry more matter of factly then mean.
Thylo stuck up her nose and turned away from him.
“Guys, I don’t want you fighting over me… I can tell my story if you want,” stepped in Chomper.
“Yeah,” peeped Thylo, who just shrugged.
“Sounds all good to me,” added Gentry.
“Humph, might as well,” groaned Cera.
A moment later, Chomper’s story was interrupted by the swift return of Ruby. They stopped what they were doing to greet her, and were mildly curious about how the ëgift’ she had given was received.
“He loved it!” exclaimed Ruby, “If we keep being friendly to him maybe he could be our friend too.”
Cera scoffed at the idea.
“Yeah right,” the threehorn said as she rolled her eyes, “and then he’ll kidnap us and throw us in the lake to drown…”
“Really, I think we aren’t that different at all,” replied Ruby, “we are all really in the same place at the same time so we can’t be that different from each other.”
Gentry snickered, attracting everyone’s attention.
“Sorry,” corrected Gentry as he rubbed his snout, “had something in my nose.”
“Hey… look!” gasped Thylo at something unseen behind their backs.
The entire group of them including Ruby, Chomper, Cera, and Gentry all tilted their heads to get a look at what had startled Thylo, and they gasped in surprise. Glide had emerged from the cave and had been listening in – his expression entirely neutral and emotionless. Nobody said anything for about ten seconds, before the silence was broken by Cera.
“What do you want?” she growled with about as much tact as a landslide.
“Cera,” barked Ruby in alarm, before turning to address Glide, “sorry Cera can be a bit mean sometimes… you can come over here with us if you want.”
Glide’s eye’s narrowed slightly, but again he didn’t say anything. After a moment he turned away from them and trudged down to the pool to do what he came for – to get a drink of water. The black wingtail lapped eagerly with his tongue taking in as much water as he could, not caring that all the young dinosaurs were still staring at him.
“You know Cera, when you first met me you didn’t like me that much remember?” said Chomper thoughtfully.
“Yeah, but we’re friends now Chomper,” replied Cera, “what are you trying to say?”
“Well maybe… he could be our friend too if we got to know him,” finished Chomper with a shrug.
“…maybe,” Cera grumbled admissibly.
“I’ll tell you one thing mates,” added Gentry, “I’m not gonna be the one going anywhere near him… looks like he might explode any second.”
“Someone has to talk to him… any volunteers?” suggested Chomper.
“Oh, oh pick me!” shouted Thylo eagerly, jumping on her feet.
“That won’t be necessary,” interjected Glide with a bit of contempt as he finished his drink, “what are you hatchlings doing down here anyway… this is a wingtail cave.”
“Hah…” piped Cera, ready to vent her mind.
Ruby stepped in front of her.
“You see, we aren’t supposed to be here,” answered Ruby sadly, “they’re keeping us down here.”
“Who?” inquired Glide.
“The other flyers who look just like you,” replied Chomper, “they caught us and threw us down into this cave for no reason.”
Thylo and Gentry looked surprised.
“We aren’t here for no reason mates,” said Gentry somewhat timidly, “…don’t you all know?”
Ruby, Chomper and Cera all looked at each other in a circle and echoed the same looks of confusion.
“The white flyer makes us come shout into his big shiny thingy so it makes us all loud and stuff,” added Thylo in the best way she knew to explain the strange behaviour of her wingtail captor, “sometimes he comes down and gets us for it or drops down more friends to play with!”
“What!?!” Glide roared, “…you mean Eybron has been kidnapping children to test the Sonicron?”
The outburst triggered a coughing fit from the black wingtail, whose ribs hadn’t fully healed over yet. To the gathered young dinosaurs it was like he was speaking an entirely different language.
“Who wants us to test what?” Cera said somewhat sarcastically.
Where Glide would have been still angry, the pain humbled him into sadness.
“What does it matter,” he mumbled to himself while he clutched his chest, “he’s already taken the only thing I cared about.”
And on that note, there was a good minute of pure silence. It was not a confused or curious silence, but more of a depressing one. Every one of them in the cave at the side of the life-giving pool was far away from those who cared about them and they loved back. It was almost if they were all lost in personal reflection… all but Thylo that is.
The young spiketail had grown up in the Verdant Valley… a very large, fertile, and rich valley that was a paradise to leaf-eaters. The nearby Black Mountain had disturbed their lives occasionally, but for what it took away therein grew green food anew even better then what had been there before. The adults of the Verdant Valley wanted everything to be perfect for their children – as their parents had ensured for them – and that meant they reacted to any threats from sharpteeth or egg-eaters suddenly and severely. Life had been so good for her family that Thylo had actually been bored with it.
Nothing exciting ever happened in the Verdant Valley.
Unlike her spiketail brothers and sisters she possessed a heart that desired adventure and danger, to see all edges of the world and encounter all the deadliest of enemies along the way. Perhaps it was this longing for adventure that fuelled her passion for sharpteeth – or maybe it was just plain ignorance at never having met a real mean one face to face.
Thylo also had a secret too… and that was she had submitted to Eybron’s wingtails willingly. She heard them talking in a tree one day on her long adventure walks near the edge of her home valley… and they talked about wondrous things. In what was either a good or bad choice, depending on how you look at it, she offered to go with them to help with what they needed. The two flyers were all too happy to oblige, and soon she ended up here in the bottom of the hole with a host of friends she had just met – the ultimate adventure.
As the group of them sat there, the swishing movements of Glide’s tail caught her eyes. It was so mesmerizing; the little bushy tree-star twirling back and forth… it reminded her of a real tree-star flowing in the wind. She was getting hungry. Back and forth, back and forth… she began to salivate. At last she couldn’t take it anymore, and primal instinct took over.
Thylo pounced on the tree-star and bit down on it hard, and all hell broke loose.
Glide screeched so loud the entire group of them jumped back in surprise, and he rounded on the little spiketail with a look of pure venom and hissed at her. Contrary to the terrible surprise, Thylo was actually laughing.
“Your tail tastes funny,” she giggled.
Chomper couldn’t help it, and started laughing too. Before long the entire group of them was cackling away, while Glide just sat there and fumed. Had he of been covered in water, there most definitely would have been steam rising off him. This wasn’t funny.
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Glide is not amused. Things are going to be rough... :p
I liked this chapter. I'm also liking Thylo more and more as I read more of her. :lol:
A marathon? You mean, you'll be posting new chapters in short periods?
I like the idea, but then the story would be over so soon (even though I want to read the final chapters as soon as possible... XP).
Ahh... I don't make sense so, just keep up the good work. :)
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As crazy as I am about this fanfic, I like to have the chapters staggered just a little bit, to prolong my enjoyment of the story. Perhaps for Act IV you could wait three days between posting chapters, instead of a week? (Though do you foresee yourself writing the final chapters fast enough for a marathon?)
While I slightly prefer it when all parts of a chapter are posted at once (not that I can complain about seeing more of this story either :P:), I really liked this installment. The part at the end was hilarious, and I liked getting an insight into Thylo’s life before she was imprisoned.
I spotted two errors in the chapter: a missing question mark...
“What does it matter,”
...and an out-of-place word.
Had he of been covered in water, there most definitely would have been steam rising off him.
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Maybe if the trapped characters can get Glide to join them, they can start to form a conspiracy to make a prison break :idea. I also like Thylo and Gentry :lol.
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Wow I gotta say. I've been reading this for the last few days and I'm really impressed. This is a well written fanfic :)
The characters are very well done here. I really enjoy this and can't wait for the rest of it.
Keep it up :D
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I'm glad you like it LBTFan13.
What I meant when I said a Far Away Home marathon is that once I get to the last 3 or 4 chapters or so things get very intense as the story wraps to a close, so I felt that it would be best to finish things off appropriately (rather than having three weeks of cliffhangers).
The main thing that is slowing me down at this point is that there are quite a few little things I need to fit in before I'm ready to conclude the Act, and choosing how to order them or cut them out is difficult.
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Part IVb: Arrival
Again Sky got them up at the break of dawn, but Littlefoot was so used to it by now he just yawned, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and feasted himself to a morning breakfast while the others were still half asleep. There was no talking amongst them, which was unusual for the trip but not entirely surprising given how exhausted they still were.
“I have a surprise for you this morning children,” informed Sky to their backs while the group was eating.
Ali dropped the treestars she had been chewing on and turned to face the blue wingtail.
“Surprise… what surprise?” she asked eagerly.
It was unusual for Sky to say something like this, so it made it really interesting. In response the wingtail took to the air and beckoned for them to follow.
“You will see.”
All the children including Littlefoot, Ali, Ducky and Spike bounded after him. Petrie naturally took to the air and followed close behind the blue wingtail.
“It not scary surprise is it?” inquired the small flyer as he joined with Sky, who had been taking his time to allow the land walkers to catch up.
“It depends,” answered Sky with a sly smile.
“Depend on what?” chirped Petrie with fear.
“… It depends on whether you enjoy lots of food, water, and the company of many others of your kind,” chuckled Sky as he swooped down towards the ground.
Petrie flapped rapidly to keep up, diving through a gap in the trees only to have the land underneath him give way to a massive cliff, and a drop of hundreds of feet. The flyer was so shocked he almost fell out of the air. Sky circled around until he was level with him.
“Quite impressive isn’t it?” the wingtail commented.
“Me not like being up so high so fast!” Petrie responded.
“Come now,” responded Sky in a homely manner, “what kind of flyer is afraid of flying?”
Petrie gulped.
“Me.”
Sky frowned.
“Well if you’re not into bettering yourself, then perhaps you will enjoy my surprise instead.”
The blue wingtail pointed towards the ground. Bellow them was the largest, most beautiful valley Petrie had ever seen. He wondered what the others would think when they saw it.
…
Littlefoot and the others had reached the edge of the cliff, and come to a grinding halt. There were no words to describe the beauty of the place contained within the basin, but the best comparison he could make was when he stumbled across the Great Valley as a child. From the seemingly endless flocks of trees, to the grassy plains and flowing rivers the Verdant Valley appeared to be a natural paradise of huge proportions. Littlefoot turned to Ali next to him who had her mouth open in wonder.
“Wow… it’s indescribable.”
The whole group of them stood there, transfixed by the sight.
Spike was the first to break out of the spell, and he wasted no time making his way down the cliff walls.
“Spike is still hungry… he is,” commented Ducky with amusement.
“Come on Ali,” laughed Littlefoot as he ushered her after him, “lets go eat.”
It took them almost an hour to get down the cliffside that guarded the Verdant Basin, but when they finally did there was a joyous celebration. Ducky rolled in the grass while Spike took it upon himself to ësample’ every piece of green food he could find. As the group split up to do their own thing, Littlefoot remained. Sky came to a landing next to him as the longneck waited.
“Littlefoot, what do you think of my surprise?” the blue wingtail asked.
“I love it,” responded the longneck with a bit of excitement, “you came through for us… just like I knew you would.”
Unexpectedly, Littlefoot nuzzled the side of Sky’s neck catching him by surprise.
“Oh,” said Sky in surprise as he regained his balance, “I’m glad you’re happy… but I think you should join your friends instead of hanging back here with me.”
As Sky said it he pointed towards the forest in the direction Ali had gone.
“See ya later Sky,” laughed Littlefoot as he proceeded after his longneck friend.
“Goodbye Littlefoot,” whispered Sky with unease when he was out of earshot.
So many things weighed on the blue wingtail, and while the children had still been sleeping after he woke up from his dream he had made a stark decision. He had begun to think of them almost as his family, but yet he had led the children far enough… under the zealous protection of the dinosaurs of the Verdant Valley they would be safe. The next leg of the journey was his and his alone. For Littlefoot, that was his final goodbye.
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ëFraid I don’t have much to offer in terms of a review for this installment, seeing as it’s so short. However, I’m beginning to wonder if the gang has forgotten about the star day celebration they were going to give Sky. If they haven’t, Sky’s going to miss out on it by leaving them at this point. :p (Of course, knowing the gang, I doubt he’s going to get rid of them so easily.)
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Short, but good nevertheless. ;)
Can't wait for the next part! :lol:
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Part V: Countdown until Dawn
As the night settled down upon the Feral Forest, familiar sights and sounds began to take place. The crickets began to chirp, or whatever other insects that made their residence in the trees and plants bellow were. Wingtail parents quietly ushered their offspring into the safety of their nests high above in the canopy of the trees. As the Great Circle set once more and shifted its gaze away from the known world the hustle of the twilight began to fade until nothing but darkness and silence remained. Silence of course with the exception of Eybron’s tapping feet.
The white wingtail had been waiting… and not just for Star. The council of elders had a strange schedule that often kept them busy for days at a time taking care of various matters within the forest. Being as old as they were routine was everything and even with all the events that had aspired to his favour over the past week, they had refused to meet with him until all else was as it should be. It made him angry to be subjugated to their will like this… but such was how things worked. All that really mattered was that no matter what he did they were always on his side – as the hatchlings say, a good survivor knows how to run… but a great survivor knows the sharptooth.
Sharpteeth… their very existence in the world disgusted him, and apart from his desires with Star he could think of no better pursuit then to wipe them off the face of the earth. The wingtails around him pretended to be as tough and clever as he was, while the hatchlings idolized him as a role model for when they grew up… but none of them could ever possibly know what he had been through. It was one of the reasons he hated being around children – their cries of joy and laughter only reminded him how ignorant they were and how fast it could and would end. Sometimes, when no one else was around, he heard their dying screams once again…
“Is everything alright my lord?” inquired Barrau, who had roosted next to him while they waited for entrance into the elders’ tree.
He stopped tapping his feet and turned slowly to face his aide, who recoiled slightly at his gaze.
“How long until the elders said they would return?” countered Eybron as he returned to facing forward and tapped his foot.
“Precisely at great circle down my lord… Cinceel has been gone three days negotiating with the jungle runners regarding the disappearance of more eggs…”
Eybron snorted. ëNegotiations’ with the jungle runners usually resulted in a mud slinging war of threats and counter threats, followed by a tussle or enraged departure. It was why Cinceel was chosen to do it – it was her specialty.
“And in addition to this your father has been –”
“You will not refer him as my father under any circumstance… am I clear?” interrupted Eybron harshly.
“As you wish,” Barrau relented.
It would appear as though the two of them had issues… issues that he as a servant couldn’t possibly understand. Not that he wanted to, as it wasn’t his duty. A few minutes of silence passed as the two wingtails waited for their admittance into the elders’ tree… and it just seemed to drag on and on. Finally the attendant poked his head out of the leaves.
“The elder’s council will see you know.”
“Finally,” growled Eybron as he pushed his way through the brush, Barrau close in tow.
…
The gathered elder wingtails were of course completely silent as Eybron and his faithful aide entered the canopy with purpose, and settled down in the lower branches.
“Good evening, my son,” extended Tenebron, who was in his usual position as head of the council.
Eybron only responded with a low growl, silencing his father.
“I trust your quest has been fruitful…” started Cinceel with a touch of sarcasm, “otherwise you would not have dared see us at such a late hour.”
Try as she could, the wingtail couldn’t stop the yawn and covered her mouth with her wing as she did so.
“Indeed,” answered Eybron with confidence, “I have with me the Occular, as you requested.”
With a small ring, the white wingtail withdrew the clear lens from inside his wing and slowly set it down inside the narrow beam of moonlight that lit up the centre stump of the roomy chamber. The edged surface was so perfectly shaped it reflected the light upwards in all directions illuminating the looks of wonder covering the faces of the gathered elders.
“You have done well young Eybron… we knew we could count on you,” praised the eldest male of the group.
“Good show,” added a younger male elder, who rarely spoke at all.
“I’m actually impressed,” declared Cinceel who crossed her wings and puffed up her chest, “but where is the other we assigned this task too… Glide was his name wasn’t it?”
The others were wondering that as well and looked to Eybron for the answer.
“He is… spending some quality time with his family. I shall be sure to pass this on to him as well,” responded the white wingtail.
“Humph,” snorted Cinceel, “and what of Sky’s fate… is he dead as we demanded?”
There was a whoosh of gasps from the others.
“We never demanded such a thing!” blared out the younger male elder.
“Of all the preposterousness…” mumbled another female elder.
“Sky is a traitor, a thief and an eternal stain on our kind… if I wasn’t the one to declare it then you all were implicating it,” snarled Cinceel.
“Enough!” shouted Tenebron, “our discussions on this subject are not for this time Cinceel.”
“Is Sky dead, or is he not?” demanded Cinceel of Eybron as she leaned forward ignoring the statements of Tenebron.
“Be silent Cinceel or so help me!” hollered Tenebron.
The female elder turned and hissed at him, triggering a maze of shouts and gasps from the rest of the nine councillors.
“Stop this… both of you!” interrupted the oldest male elder, who seemed to hold enough power to stay the shouting match and stop it from degrading into violence, “You should be ashamed… all of you… now is not the time and place for our disagreements. A serious matter is at hand and you are to listen to and trust the will of our current leader – of which Tenebron is so.”
The answer was met with mumbles of agreement.
“Alright,” started Tenebron, “Eybron, my son, is the one who is the cause of this mess now deceased?”
“No,” answered Eybron, “but I have reason to believe that that should be our goal.”
“And what would this reason be?” asked Tenebron uncomfortably.
Eybron paused for a moment, to work out a way to best present his answer.
“I have discovered that Sky may be in league with the sharpteeth… in league with Tyron.”
Whether the fact was true or not it did not matter… it got the exact reaction Eybron had desired. Suddenly, the death of Sky seemed like a much more appealing option to him. With Sky dead, not only could he get vengeance for his theft of the Occular, but that would ensure Star was a completely free female – at least until he claimed her. Eybron relished the thought.
“You see Tenebron… your indecisiveness on this whole matter has caused this,” snarled Cinceel, “If I was the head of the council, I would have dealt with this swiftly and mercilessly as it should have been done long ago.”
And once more the elders started arguing. Such dis-unity wasn’t pleasing to Eybron, who simply sighed and rolled his eyes. At last he couldn’t take it and shouted.
“Give the task to me, and Sky will be dead within a single day.”
The elders all stopped what they were saying and turned in his direction.
“One day…” repeated Tenebron with disbelieve, “son you can’t be serious.”
In response Eybron laughed. It was a sound that none of those gathered had ever heard before – and it was only the second time in his life he had done so.
“Are you questioning my dignity?” spat Eybron towards his father, “I can guarantee that I will kill Sky within a single day… tomorrow in fact.”
Eybron was dead serious, and nobody else in the canopy was about to question him. Sensing the fish was in his mouth, the white wingtail took a verbal step back.
“That is with your permission of course.”
There were worried glances about the gathered elders, but not because of fear. When Eybron laughed about something, it meant that someone somewhere was going to get hurt and get hurt badly.
“By all means, do what you have to do,” stated Cinceel after a long pause.
Eybron smiled.
“In fact… you all can come and watch me.”
“But… how?” asked the oldest male who looked shaken at Eybron’s sudden delicious confidence.
“You will need to wake up really early I’m afraid,” said Eybron as he checked his nails casually, “say at… oh… the very break of dawn.”
…
“If I must ask my lord, how do you plan to do it so quickly?” asked Barrau as the two wingtails flew home from the meeting.
It had all gone so well that Eybron felt the need to celebrate. Perhaps he could convince Star to…
“You will see… along with everyone else,” the white wingtail said with a bit of annoyance.
Barrau knew that now his master did not want to be asked questions – perhaps he himself did not know what he had promised. Something told him though that this was not the case, for Eybron was just too sure for this to be false.
“There is something I would like you to do for me Barrau before you rest tonight,” continued the villainous wingtail.
“What is it my lord?”
“I want you to get me one of the children out of the hole… they will be important for what I have planned for tomorrow.”
“As you wish,” obeyed Barrau as he swerved off into the night towards the Abyssal Caverns.
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The Verdant Valley was so vibrant, so alive that Ali didn’t know where to start. Compared to the other places they had visited in their travels, or indeed the places her herd had visited over the past couple seasons it was almost what she would consider ëcrowded’. There were different types of dinosaurs everywhere from longnecks to spiketails to threehorns. Since there was a lot of food to go around, they all lived together in harmony just like the Great Valley.
The young female longneck spent the morning after their arrival trying to make new friends, or just find out more about where they were. Strangely, nobody seemed to have any time for her.
“Hey… get out of my way,” pushed one male longneck about her age as he shoved by her.
How rude… if it wasn’t for the complete paradise of the location she would have been on her way out already. About lunch time she encountered Petrie, who was feasting on a bushel of sweet bubbles he’d picked out earlier.
“Hey Petrie, this is such a lovely valley isn’t it?” she commented, unsure of what else to say since she had never really spoken to the flyer too much.
“It nice but… other flyers so busy and mean,” responded Petrie with a sigh.
“Yeah, it’s the same thing with the longnecks,” said Ali with distain, “I wish I knew what everyone was so rushed about.”
Petrie shrugged.
“Just the way it is, me guess.”
Another thought hit Ali, and she decided to change the subject.
“Say Petrie, I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
The flyer stopped eating, and started listening. Ali continued with her thought.
“See… I want to get Sky something for his Star Day, but I don’t know what you flyers really like…” she said nervously as if unsure how to word the question.
Petrie laughed.
“Oh that easy, just get him something really really shiny!” he exclaimed, flapping his wings in emphasis.
“Really, it’s that simple?” asked Ali timidly.
Petrie had to think about it for a second.
“Sky like shiny things right? He carry that shiny rock under wing in case he want to look at it.”
“Yeah I guess your right,” admitted Ali, “I’ll find him the biggest, shiniest stone he could ever look at.”
And on that note Ali left on her quest to find Sky’s Star Day present, leaving Petrie alone amongst the branches.
“Hmm, I wonder where Sky is?” thought Petrie.
Most people did not know that Petrie actually thought rationally, but when it came to speaking his mind it always came out a bit garbled. His mom knew right away because her father had a similar problem until he was much older. It was a family affliction, and it tended to affect the male side once every second generation.
Having nothing else better to do, the small flyer decided to spend his time seeking out Sky, who had become somewhat of a mentor to him. Having another big flyer around just like his uncle Pterano was rubbing off on him and he was starting to be less and less afraid. Maybe one day Sky would take him through the dreaded sky puffies so he didn’t have to face his fears alone.
….
It took Petrie an hour and half to find Sky, but when he did the blue wingtail was in deep conversation with another, strange flyer that he had never seen before far away from the rest of the group. Being polite, the small flyer waited until the talk was over before taking off and eventually landing next to Sky.
“Wow this nice valley… I glad we stop here,” Petrie commented.
Sky was surprised by his sudden landing, and jumped back on the branch away from Petrie. With a sudden turn in the small flyer’s direction Sky growled with displeasure.
“Oh, did me scare you?” asked Petrie apologetically, “me sorry…”
“How long have you been here, how much did you hear?” asked Sky aggressively.
“Nothing, me wait until you done with strange flyer… who he anyway?”
“That’s none of your business!” shot Sky, “you shouldn’t be here.”
Petrie was shocked, the blue wingtail was always so calm and considerate and he had never treated him this way before. He must have done something to make his friend angry with him.
“Me do wrong again,” sobbed Petrie, “me so sorry!”
Sky sighed as Petrie looked on the verge of tears. He had really hoped it would be easier to leave them here so he could continue on with his task, but it would seem that events were catching up with him. The little flyer couldn’t ever know what he had just flew in on – and Sky could only hope that he hadn’t heard what had been said.
“I will be leaving now,” the blue wingtail proclaimed as he turned away, “and you and your friends cannot follow me – this journey is mine alone, you shouldn’t have come.”
Petrie started crying.
“But why… why you do this?”
Sky remained with his back turned to Petrie, so that the young flyer couldn’t see the enormous look of guilt on his face. He had actually become quite fond of the children and enjoyed their company, but at this point bringing them any further would endanger their lives. This was his responsibility, and he couldn’t bear the thought of them all going down with him. Maybe someday Littlefoot and his friends would understand that what he was doing was out of love, but now he had to make sure they didn’t follow him and the only way to do that was through a false regrettable betrayal.
“I didn’t ask for you to come with me,” Sky shouted as he rounded on Petrie, “It wasn’t my wish for you to risk your lives going wherever I led you… this has gone far enough!”
Sky pointed aggressively back into the center of the valley.
“Go back to your friends where you will be safe, and don’t follow me or I will see to it you will never fly again.”
Sobbing lightly, Petrie took to the air and did as he was told. In a few moments he was gone, leaving Sky all alone. With a deep flap of his wings the wingtail took off and glided towards the northern edge of the crater-like basin that housed the Verdant Valley. As he reached the edge of the green paradise he made a soft landing on the cliff face and looked back, brooding over his decision to leave the children behind.
They would be safe here, Sky reasoned, so they didn’t need him anymore. Unfortunately that didn’t make the goodbye any easier, and as he took one final glance at the setting sun he wiped a single tear away before leaving into the depths of the dark desert.
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Great chapter, great chapter! ^_^
Wow, now that's a villain I would like to see in cartoon movies more often. :D
I see Sky's starday is still present. :)
Say, the name "Tenebron", isn't that latin for "darkness" or "dark"?
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Yay! A new chapter! :DD And better yet, a full one! Very satisfying! :smile
I thought it was neat that you used a wingtail-style idiom in the council meeting scene:
Eybron was dead serious, and nobody else in the canopy was about to question him. Sensing the fish was in his mouth, the white wingtail took a verbal step back.
I interpreted the expression to mean that either everyone is waiting for Eybron to speak, or he has just said something dubious and they are focused on him because of that. Am I close? :confused
Eybron, by the way, is genuinely scary in this chapter. :blink:
I also liked how you gave us a little insight into how Petrie’s mind works, and an explanation for his speech habits. :p
One thing I’ve been wondering about Petrie, however: way back in Act 1, Part I, you implied that he was feeling distant from his friends as a result of them leaving him behind in Rise of Storm Tide. Has there already been a sort of unspoken, unreferenced reconciliation between him and the rest of the gang (now that he’s on another adventure with them), or is this an issue that’s going to crop up again soon, perhaps in relation to the apparently ongoing fragmentation of the group? (Of course, if it’s the latter, you can just give a cryptic answer or none at all. :p)
I noticed one sentence in need of revision:
“One day…” repeated Tenebron with disbelieve, “son you can’t be serious.”
That should be “disbelief”. I’d also recommend a comma following “son”.
Please keep posting complete chapters like this. I don’t know about everyone else, but to me they’re much more fulfilling to read than fragments. :D
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So now comes the moment of truth... the next few chapters will be the most revealing in the entire story. :smile
I'm curious, what do you guys and girls think is the real reason for Sky's journey to the North? I've dropped hints along the way of various degrees of subtlety. Express your theories and I promise I won't confirm or refute them (this is a test to see if I have done a good enough job up till this point with the plan) :lol
Caustizer
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Oog...my memory’s so bad, I can’t even remember the pretense of Sky’s journey (let alone guess the real reason for it). :wacko I may need to peruse the preceding chapters a second time to refresh my memory.
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Well then it looks like it will be a complete surprise... excellant, I love writing about surprises :smile
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You've got me stumped, Caustizer. :p
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The real reason... guess I have to read it again to remember. But I like being surprised, so I think I just let it be. :lol:
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Unfortunately it doesn't look like I'll be able to add a new chapter for Far Away Home anytime soon. As midterms come to a close I'm off to the south for reading week and spring break only to return directly into the midst of more midterms! I might produce a chapter over the past three weeks, but until my schedule becomes a bit more lienient you will have to sit and ponder more about what evil Eybron is concocting (and where Tyron is in all this mess).
Have a good break,
Caustizer.
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Naaww... how bad. And I was getting really excited. :(
Well, I wish you the best and have a nice spring break! :yes
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Ah nothing like a new chapter of Far Away Home to brighten the day. It's a shame I can't do these faster but of course RL demands often get in the way unfortuantely. Anyways, things are building up so well I can almost taste the radons pulsing in the atmosphere as the Black Dawn approaches! Keep reading and reviewing, and I promise the story will continue to be written and posted regularly.
Caustizer.
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Part VI: Confrontation:
“And the sharptooth swiped at me with his vicious claws, missing by so little I could hear the air hissing as it passed my face,” recounted Glide dramatically, “Undeterred, I hit him again and again until he was spent, and we were both dragged beneath the waves.”
“Wwwwowwww,” said the children collectively in wonder.
“What happened next… did you escape!?!” pushed Landar eagerly, hanging on Glides every word.
“No I didn’t… I died a horrible, gasping death,” replied Glide sarcastically.
Xavier stood onto his feet slowly and prodded into the conversation.
“This is a really great story and all… but weren’t you supposed to be telling us about when you met Ruby and the others at the bottom of the cave?”
Aura the swimmer, Kala the spiketail, Nincea the flyer, and even Wayne the threehorn all murmured in agreement.
“Hah, but that’s so boring!” butted in Landar the fourwing, “I wanna hear about the fights and the chases and… and...”
The rest of the children were fairly divided, since there was no denying that when it came to the really dramatic events in the tale Glide certainly did a good job. Where Sky told his tales much like a creator reveals his best work a single piece at a time, Glide tended to skip the parts he didn’t like and went straight to the blood and the fighting. This was all swell at first but as it carried on the older Littlefoot began to get annoyed. So much graphic imagery was being implanted in the children that it wasn’t healthy, and as a loving and concerned parent he didn’t want to see the story re-enacted outside the Glowing Cracks story time.
“My son is right Glide, perhaps you should continue along as Sky would have intended; all this violence isn’t right for such young children,” Littlefoot asserted.
“I’m not asking you to stay longnecks,” snubbed Glide, “if you don’t like what I have to say then you can go swallow dirt for all I care.”
Xavier ground his teeth in anger. A slight tap on the side from his father told him that Littlefoot was going to handle this.
“Tell me Glide, all these glorious battles and bloody fights you speak of would you tell them the same to your aunt and uncle, to your sister, or perhaps to your youngest next of kin?” the large longneck questioned calmly.
To his credit, the black wingtail actually thought about it.
“Of course I would,” Glide spat, “the world is a cruel and merciless place that devours the unwary like you hatchlings. I await the day when you all finally know what it feels like to lose the ones who cared for you. You’ll get to suffer just like me!”
He was ranting now, and it was getting on Littlefoot’s nerves. The longneck had thought maybe the wingtail had changed as he grew older, but if Glide had then it was so minute than Littlefoot wouldn’t notice it if he stepped on it.
“Alright,” replied Littlefoot with a smile, “then I suppose it is time for you to, shall we say… scram.”
Glide’s eyes widened at the mention of Bron’s method of getting rid of him so long ago.
“You wouldn’t dare,” he challenged.
Littlefoot, who was still smiling, rose to his feet and swung back his tail in preparation to strike. In an instant Glide took to the air and the longneck’s tail wacked the bushes just behind where he had just been, missing on purpose. The black wingtail circled above the glowing cracks, and hissed at them.
“Some things never change,” laughed Littlefoot as Sky’s unkind brother-in-law disappeared over the tops of the trees.
“You show him dad,” said Xavier proudly.
“But what about the story?” asked Wayne, “it was just getting good, and we’re not tired yet.”
“Yeah,” emphasized Nincea, who looked up eagerly to Littlefoot.
The Landar just rolled his eyes, pouting about the indignation inflicted upon his new role model.
“Well it is quite late,” answered Littlefoot as he noticed the great circle had almost completely disappeared beyond the horizon, “what will your mothers say if I keep you any longer tonight?”
“Please!” they all begged, except for Landar of course.
“Oh alright… I guess I could continue from here,” sighed the longneck in submission.
The children let out a cheer of joy, albight a silent one lest their parents would hear it.
“I remember after our first day in Verdant Valley by the large smoking mountain, finding out from Petrie that Sky was abandoning us…”
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Littlefoot had wandered through the Verdant Valley for most of the morning, observing and enjoying their newest resting place. It didn’t take long however before he was displeasured at how crowded the place was… even the children he might have played with seemed hostile to ëoutsiders’ so he spend the day on his own. As fate would have it, eventually Littlefoot would meet up with Ali on the banks of the main river, bored and disillusioned as well.
“Hey Ali, this place is great isn’t it?” Littlefoot lied, trying to be positive.
“No,” lamented Ali as she hung her head slightly, “everyone’s so mean around here – even to other longnecks like us.”
Seeing that Ali was on the level, he simply decided to concede the truth.
“Yeah, it is kind of stuffy here,” replied Littlefoot, “it’s like they’ve never seen any farwalkers before; just like you were when we first met.”
The longneck bit his tongue as he realized what he let slip. Recently he had become really close to Ali, but one bad remark and it all could end.
“I know what it’s like to have friends of all types now Littlefoot,” responded Ali with dignity, “I wish everyone else would feel the same though.”
Ali had grown up quite a bit, and Littlefoot was impressed. So far she had come from her naÔve beliefs of longneck supremacy when they first met that the young female longneck was actually just like a resident of the Great Valley. It lingered on the edges of his mind, but Littlefoot knew when they finally came home he wanted her to stay. Remembering the talk he once had with his late father, the longneck was sure that she was the one and that the feeling he felt know was not wrong or a growing pain, but the start of a lifelong relationship that went far beyond the friendship they now shared. It was so strange, and yet it felt so right. Littlefoot was sure he was beginning to understand love, but there was so much after the initial admission that he was also intimidated. Step one was to admit how he truly felt, so he might as well get it over with.
“Ali,” choked Littlefoot as she sapped up water from the fast flowing stream.
“What is it?” asked Ali curiously.
“I think I love you.”
He couldn’t believe he had just said that. Immediately as the words escaped his mouth he regretted saying it and wanted to take it back, but it was too late.
“Wha…what do you mean Littlefoot?” asked Ali, a bit confused.
Littlefoot almost bit his tongue, but it had to come out.
“We have had so much fun together, I mean we’ve been on so many adventures and done so many things. Before now I wasn’t sure, but now I think I am. Ali, I love you and I was wondering if…you know… you want to stay in the valley with us when we finally get home.”
Ali thought about it for a long time, so long that Littlefoot had actually begun to sweat a bit and occupied himself by sipping water from the river. After a while she smiled and replied,
“Hmm, I think I will.”
“Really?” asked Littlefoot in amazement.
“I’ve walked a long way Littlefoot,” she answered, “but it’s always more fun when I do it with you.”
And on that note she turned and licked the side of his face. It was so scerene and beautiful Littlefoot felt like he might faint.
“Well I…” he started.
“Littlefoot, LITTLEFOOT!” Hollered Petrie at the top of his lungs as he swooped in and landed on the rocks.
“Petrie…what is it?” inquired Littlefoot with alarm as he momentarily forgot his pleasing exchange with Ali.
It took Petrie a few seconds to catch his breath, but when he did he did not hesitate to yell his news to the world.
“Sky, he abandon us… he fly away!” lamented Petrie as he sat on the brink of crying again, “he talk to other flier and turn all mean!”
“What!?!” peeped Littlefoot and Ali together, more in surprise then in anger.
“What do you mean he’s abandoning us, that doesn’t sound like Sky to me,” stated Ali with a bit of disbelief. Apparently she didn’t trust Littlefoot’s friends as much as he did.
“Come on Ali, Petrie is telling the truth! We have to find Sky to clear this up,” Affirmed Littlefoot.
Bounding along, the young male longneck followed Petrie without hesitation leaving Ali behind. He may be in love, but his first duty was as a leader and he had to make sure that Sky was indeed doing as Petrie proclaimed. It was a quality that later Ali would come to admire, even if it sometimes came at her own expense. In a show if initiative and perhaps loyalty the female longneck went the opposite way, intent on warning Spike and Ducky of what had transpired. As it would turn out, her action would save their lives.
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Chomper’s peaceful sleep was interrupted by a shrill scream. It was so piercing that the sharptooth was shuttered awake and back into the world of the living by it’s volume. Somewhere, in the dark of the caves, Ruby was in trouble.
“Ruby,” he shouted almost instinctively, “are you okay?”
He was just awake enough to dodge the vicious swooping of a wing, followed by an aggressive hiss. Either Glide had turned on them, or there was another more villainous wingtail in their midst.
“Out of the way hatchling,” sneered Barrau, “this is not your business.”
In the half light of the background the two wingtail brothers had restrained Ruby, and with a hand over her mouth were preventing her cries from escaping. Barrau turned briefly to ensure their extraction was going to plan, before smiling with satisfaction and turning back to Chomper.
“Go back to sleep if you know what’s good for- Ouff!”
The brown wingtail was so concentrated on Chomper’s iron gaze he totally missed Cera, who had silently charged into his side.
“That’s for kidnapping me you bird brains!” exclaimed Cera after pushing Barrau off his feet.
The flyer coiled and snapped back with his double pointed tail, slapping Cera in the face before pouncing on her in a display of dexterity.
“I don’t think so,” added Chomper as he hopped into the air and managed to snap into the wingtail’s forearm.
Barrau screeched with indignity and thrashed about vigorously using his size to his advantage against an unknown number of opponents. He was sure that Glide would have finished them all off by now, but sometimes you can’t have everything you want.
Thylo watched as Chomper and Cera relentlessly attacked the foreign wingtail, while two more in the background picked up a struggling Ruby from the ground. She had seen it happen before of course, and since the one taken was always returned there was no reason to be alarmed. Instead, she watched the fight with childish delight revelling in every strike and slash and charge, taking it all in with wonder. Gentry, on the other paw, had seen this before too and pretended to be asleep as to not notice. He had been taken up once or twice, and it wasn’t that big of a deal.
“Had enough, sharptooth?” taunted Barrau as he tossed Chomper aside just in time to block another one of Cera’s charges. With a strenuous effort he threw her to the ground, overpowering her relatively small body into submission. Exhausted, she could only sit and watch as Barrau stood alone and triumphant. The only one who could oppose him now was Glide, who was standing watching the proceedings with a completely neutral look on his face. His treestar tail flicked from side to side and his arms were crossed, but other then that he did not seem to be making any moves to join the battle. Barrau smirked at him.
“What’s the matter Glide, too afraid to stand up for your friends? Oh I’m sorry… I forgot you don’t have any,” he taunted, “I’m sure my master is enjoying himself with your sister right now… shall I send him your best wishes?”
Nothing, not even a growl escaped the black wingtail. He simply stood, motionless, and looked through Barrau as if he wasn’t even there.
“Have you nothing to say son of Allisan, or have you simply given up to the inevitable?” Barrau added with venom.
Again, nothing.
“Very well, if that’s all you’ve got than we will be going now… Happy ventures hatchlings.”
Spitefully, Barrau followed the twins as they carried Ruby out through the gap in the rocks, passing over the deathly waves as they crashed on the jagged shore. Chomper and Cera brooded over the futility of their attempts to enact vengeance on their kidnappers.
“Oooo, I wish I was just a bit bigger so I could have crushed that fish breath to a pulp,” fumed Cera as she kicked the dirt.
Chomper took the defeated disheartedly.
“I can’t believe she’s gone…again, and I am too little to do anything,” the sharptooth lamented.
“Don’t get too wrapped up in this mate,” insisted Gentry carefully as he rose from his false slumber, “she’ll be back. They always bring ëem back when they’re done.”
Having nothing else to draw hope from, Cera and Chomper calmed down and accepted the reality of their situation.
“Oh well… we’ll get those wing-heads or whatever their called when they bring Ruby back!” proclaimed Cera.
“Yeah I guess,” replied Chomper without enthusiasm.
…
Before long everyone was back to bed, and the whole incident had passed. The young dinosaurs were fast asleep, and some were even dreaming (Gentry was taking nonsense in his sleep about eggs). All that is except for Chomper, who couldn’t get over Ruby’s sudden removal. Something about it tweaked his senses, and he knew something was wrong that he needed to fix. His friend needed him, and he had to be there for her like she was for him.
“What are you doing?” asked Glide insensitively as Chomper stood on the edge of the rocks, glancing down at the waves crashing on the shore below.
“I’m going to rescue Ruby,” stated Chomper with absolute certainty, “And I don’t care what I have to do to find her.”
“So your plan is to drown in the depths?” added Glide as he crossed his arms.
“Better that then have her get taken away by evil flyers who will hurt her for their own selves,” replied Chomper.
“Hmm,” snubbed Glide, “why would a young sharptooth like you be so loyal to a treacherous backslashing runner like her?”
Chomper growled in defiance.
“Because she is my friend!”
“Tell me the truth,” insisted Glide coldly, “even children don’t risk their lives to help others like this… why are you really doing this?”
“Because… because…,” stuttered Chomper, “Because she is like my sister and my only family!”
Glide leaned back a bit, signifying his surprise.
“Your…sister?”
“Yeah… we may not come from the same nest but since my parents left Ruby is the only family I have left. She takes care of me when I’m cold and afraid, and she understands when I do sharptooth things while nobody else does. To me, she is family…”
The revelation was a shock to Glide. This little sharptooth was just like him… no parents, and only a sister to call family. The black wingtail was actually beginning to admire the little hatchling.
“So I’m going to find her, whether you or Cera or anyone wants me to or not,” insisted Chomper, and he prepared to jump into the abyss.
“Of course you are,” continued Glide, “but you won’t be going that way I’m afraid.”
“What?” responded Chomper in bewilderment.
“You will be riding on my back,” answered the black wingtail, and he bent over to make space for the little sharptooth, “and we will get back what these villains have stolen from us.”
It was unexpected, and sincerely appreciated.
“Thanks,” said Chomper as he climbed up the black feathers to the crest of Glide’s neck.
“Don’t thank me yet landwalker… we still have a job to do and you’re going to help me do it.”
And so the unlikely team took off from the cliffside, diving into the air pursuing the justice and vengeance they had been denied by fate.
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Great to have you back! :D And the chapter’s a nice long one, too! Thanks! :smile
Just to think out loud a little, I’m rather surprised that Glide, who had been so antagonistic against the gang throughout the first two Acts, was evidently accepted into the Great Valley afterwards. From the looks of things, he ends up doing something to make the gang trust him a lot more. (Don’t tell me what it is!) I’m eager to see how this plays out.
The young dinosaurs were fast asleep, and some were even dreaming (Gentry was taking nonsense in his sleep about eggs).
That part made me chuckle. :lol
Something I’m a bit confused about: apparently Glide can still fly (or, if he was too injured to fly at any point, he’s healed sufficiently by now to be able to fly again), and there’s an exit in the caves that he can fit through. Seems unusually careless of Eybron to have him imprisoned there, considering that he wanted to prevent Glide from going to the wingtail elders. (If there’s a spoiler here, don’t tell me about it.)
I’m guessing Cera’s going to be pretty mad when she wakes up and finds that Chomper and Glide have left. :unsure:
Ah, yes... Time for the dreaded spellchecking segment of the review: :p
So much graphic imagery was being implanted in the children that it wasn’t healthy, and as a loving and concerned parent he didn’t want to see the story re-enacted outside the Glowing Cracks story time.
I think there’s a word missing here... Should it be “at story time”?
The Landar just rolled his eyes, pouting about the indignation inflicted upon his new role model.
Unnecessary word, probably left in accidentally.
In a show if initiative and perhaps loyalty the female longneck went the opposite way, intent on warning Spike and Ducky of what had transpired.
That should be “of”, shouldn’t it?
Chomper took the defeated disheartedly.
Should be just “defeat”.
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Just to think out loud a little, I’m rather surprised that Glide, who had been so antagonistic against the gang throughout the first two Acts, was evidently accepted into the Great Valley afterwards. From the looks of things, he ends up doing something to make the gang trust him a lot more. (Don’t tell me what it is!) I’m eager to see how this plays out.
Glide is actually not a resident of the Great Valley... indeed with him around AND Syndra it would be enough to strain the tolerance of the parents to the breaking point. :lol Glide is nominally a guest... his real home is of course the Feral Forest (this has been stated in the story).
As for why he has come to the Great Valley, that is thus far unrevealed, but I assure you it is for a good reason.
Note too that Glide's antagonism has been almost exclusively directed at Sky, with only a passive aborance of his friends. The only real antagonistic encounter between Littlefoot and Glide would be when Bron gets him to "scram" :lol hence Littlefoot as an adult doesn't really take him seriously.
Also, you missed a spelling mistake in your quote:
The young dinosaurs were fast asleep, and some were even dreaming (Gentry was taking nonsense in his sleep about eggs).
:angel
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Glide is actually not a resident of the Great Valley... indeed with him around AND Syndra it would be enough to strain the tolerance of the parents to the breaking point. :lol Glide is nominally a guest... his real home is of course the Feral Forest (this has been stated in the story).
Ah...I never caught that particular detail. :oops
Note too that Glide's antagonism has been almost exclusively directed at Sky, with only a passive aborance of his friends. The only real antagonistic encounter between Littlefoot and Glide would be when Bron gets him to "scram" :lol hence Littlefoot as an adult doesn't really take him seriously.
Still, Littlefoot, Ali, Spike, Petrie, and Ducky were all present the first time Glide attacked Sky, so I wouldn't expect that they'd take him too lightly, or be especially quick to trust him.
Also, you missed a spelling mistake in your quote:
The young dinosaurs were fast asleep, and some were even dreaming (Gentry was taking nonsense in his sleep about eggs).
Oh, crap. :slap :oops :oops :oops So much for my editing skills. :rolleyes More evidence that I'm losing it. :crazy
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I'd like to give an update on the next chapter of Far Away Home. It's taking a while, but since it's so important i don't want to rush. I can't promise a date but it shouldn't take any longer then another week.
On that note I'd like to apologize for a critical continuity error I just noticed in the story. In Part II Chapter II Ruby says the line:
“Oh my daddy taught me,” replied Ruby, before adding sadly, “… when he was alive.”
Should be ammended to:
"Oh my daddy taught me," replied Ruby, before adding sadly, "...when he was still running."
As stated in the Rise of Storm Tide Epilogue, he does live to see his children grow up and since Ruby is still a child this line doesn't make sense.
Caustizer
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^ It was Act II, Part III, actually. And didn't I point that out in my review (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=6233&view=findpost&p=9143637) for that chapter? :p
I'm looking forward to the upcoming chapter, but as usual, I can wait. :)
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Hmm, I thought you would put it up on the week before this one... I was quite disappointed. :(
No rush at all. :yes The longer we wait, the more epic it will be! :lol:
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Part VII: Eybron’s Culling
A line of potent yellow covered the horizon from north to south, proclaiming to all who looked upon it that the morning was on its way. The smaller flyers had already risen from their slumber in the Feral Forest, keen to feed before all the larger and more aggressive wingtails filled the skies. There was almost no wind, as if the darkness was in no hurry to escape the encapsulating resonance of the dawn… and resonate it would, for even the Abyss Lake was hesitant to move its shallow waters anywhere fast. The Whirlpool had settled down into a dull roar, nulling its usual dominance of the waterline and revealing the glorious and fertile floor of the lake.
The Abyss Lake was an odd and wondrous place, and so it was when the first wingtails found it nearly two dozen generations before. Being large and inquisitive fliers, it was only natural that such a place of convergence would attract them to stay longer then their normal migratory patterns would allow. Because of the Lake’s unique drainage it had no rivers flowing out, but rather was emptied purely via the Whirlpool into an as yet unexplored system of caverns below the surface. Wingtails were not the best of swimmers and sometimes one would dive too low or strike too deep, only to be sucked into the vortex and drowned. Being somewhat superstitious, the surviving birds believed this place to be a refuge for the dead, where the living did not go. Whether it was true or not though was anyone’s guess.
Chomper was surprised at how easily their escape had gone. Riding on Glide’s back the view was quite incredible, and the calm stillness of the air was not lost on him. It was almost too quiet.
“I don’t know where they have taken Ruby,” lamented Chomper, “I can’t smell her anywhere.”
Glide sneered.
“If Eybron was using you hatchlings for something to do with the Sonicron, it would follow that she was taken there now wouldn’t it?”
The black wingtail certainly had a hard time being nice, even to his friends. This was something that Chomper was used to though, since he had had a few such encounters with Thudd that went the same way. Sometimes he wished that the fast-biter would come around, but that could only happen when Thudd came to respect him and in the sharptooth world there was only one form of respect – dominance. Maybe Glide was the same way, only being friends with those who he could look up to as stronger then himself. Such a strange way of thinking.
“Whoa!” said Chomper as a sudden drop made him nearly loose his grip.
“Hold on tight sharptooth… if you fall I’m not going back to pick you up,” The black wingtail grumbled.
Suddenly a familiar scent hit his nostrils with a potency not matched by most other dinosaurs, and it was a bad scent.
“I just love flying just before dawn,” remarked the lighter of the kidnappers almost whimsically as he soared up next to Glide’s right side, “it makes me feel fresh and ready to take on the day.”
“And you know what I love about it?” added the darker kidnapper spitefully, who had also flown up on their left side, “throwing little whelps back into the cold dark caves where they belong.”
Both Chomper and Glide growled at the same time, for different reasons.
“Where did you friend-stealers take Ruby?” snarled Chomper, baring his teeth, “tell me before have to I hurt you again!”
Neither one of them balked at the threat; if anything it only made them both even more smug. Up here in the air was their domain, and the sharptooth and his carrier were at a severe disadvantage… or so they thought.
“Hah, what about you Glide… any words before we drag you back to where you belong?” the lighter one mocked.
The two wingtails made ready to do their signature double grab move, as surely even a fighter like Glide couldn’t take on two of them at once. For a moment, the black wingtail was silent and stared forward as if he hadn’t heard them.
“Only this!”
In an impressive display of aerobics Glide flipped over onto his back in the air and grabbed both of their legs, just as they moved to do the same to him. Before either one of them realized what was happening he did a chartwheel in the air, using the momentum to kick away the lighter wingtail sending him spiralling off course and away from the fight. Glide kept his hand tight on the darker one’s leg and completed his circle in the air with a hard punch directly to his face. He screeched in shock, and recoiled.
“Not as easy as you though was it?” remarked Glide as he pushed away, and hovered in the air.
The dark wingtail shot him a look of pure hate that was all the more menacing as a droplet of blood ran down his face. With a feral hiss he dove again at Glide and missed, taking a sharp swat to the body from the black wingtail’s winged tail. Enraged at his lack of success, he charged again hissing and spitting as he attempted to land a single strike to no avail.
The whole time Chomper hung on for his life, just as Glide had said to do. The black wingtail may be mean, but he is one heck of a fighter and the sharptooth found himself marvelling at the manuverability and technique his carrier displayed as he engaged the hated kidnapper. Finally the dark wingtail pushed his luck too far, and jabbed with his wing only to have his hand grabbed out of the air by Glide. Unable to get out of the black wingtail’s grip the kidnapper flailed and snapped with his beak, but the positioning was too bad to do any damage. To his horror, Glide was dragging him down further and further towards the water.
“I really hope you can swim…” shined on Glide as the rushing air passed over them both like a hurricane in the steep dive.
Seeing he was doomed, the dark wingtail screeched for help from his brother, who was way too far up in the air to be of any assistance. With a smoothly practised sweeping motion Glide swung his attacker below him, and with one hard kick drove him down deep into the water. Pulling out of the dive, the black wingtail didn’t even bother to look back.
“Can I stop holding on now?” asked Chomper with concern and fear.
Glide nodded silently.
“Wow that was totally awesome!” exclaimed Chomper with energy, “you totally kicked their stuffy beaks into the dirt!”
Glide smiled.
“I’m not the reigning champion of the Fish fights for nothing.”
Neither of them caring about the fate of their attackers, the black wingtail and his blue sharptooth companion carried on towards the Sonicron and the rescue of their friend from the clutches of Eybron’s schemes.
…
It took some creativity, but eventually the lighter of the kidnappers was able to tow his brother into shore. The dark wingtail was soggy, bruised, bleeding, and above all else was adamantly furious.
“Thanks for the help brother,” he seethed as he shook his wings to dry and dry them off, “you knew perfectly well I was no match for Glide alone and you let him do this!”
“Serves you right,” commented the lighter wingtail, “you should learn to control your temper.”
“Oh, throw me a bone here,” growled the darker one as he wrung out his left wing, “if we don’t get those two back into the caves soon…”
“Then Eybron isn’t going to be pleased,” finished the lighter one, “we should–”
As if death itself was calling out to them, the sound of a dozen ravenous hisses came from the brush nearest to the beach. Both of the wingtails looked over, only to come face to face with a dozen, hungry eyes. The fast biters had them surrounded, and some were licking their lips. Amongst the pack was of course, Thudd… after all he wasn’t about to give up on a free meal.
“Sharpteeth?” uttered the light wingtail in surprise, “but… there aren’t supposed to be sharpteeth here…”
He was right, but being right does not necessarily mean you are safe. In a moment the fast-biters bounded forward, and a few shrill screeches later it was over.
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It was early… so early in fact that Eybron was having regrets about having his little ëgathering’ at the expense of some extra sleep. He concealed a yawn with one of his wings, before returning to the task at hand… and that was planning Sky’s demise. It wasn’t just Sky he planned on getting rid of though, and he had envisioned a kind of culling of sorts. In his mind there was only the end… the means mattered very little, and that end was today two-fold. If all goes as planned he will be rid of both of his greatest enemies, and hopefully their cohorts in the process.
The entire thing hinged on the Sonicron of course, Benzon’s ancient horn that survived through the ages and had outlived it’s creator by whole generations. The great wingtail had discovered that sound was a dimension of its own – a physical force that can be manipulated to an end. Much like the sounds a prey makes can give itself away to the predator, or the jumping of fish can reveal it to the wingtails above.
“My lord,” informed Barrau as he swooped in, “we’ve brought one of the children as you requested… a runner.”
How curious… he didn’t remember his aides capturing a jungle runner. All the better to prove his point he supposed, since it could easily be disposed of once it had served it’s purpose.
Ruby’s carriers, a pair of greenish wingtails, came in following right behind her – making sure to aggressively push her forward to make an impression in front of their master. The fastrunner was looking tired, bruised, and most of all scared. Gathered in the trees all around were Eybron’s wingtails – twenty six of the largest, meanest flyers she had ever seen. Every one of them glared down at her with a look of abhorrence and hate, as there existed such a strong racial rift between the wingtails and the jungle runners that, if ordered, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill her on the spot.
The clearing where they stood manifested at the top of a large, arching hill that overlooked most of the Feral Forest, and in the distance could be seen lands far beyond. The trees stopped before the hill’s peak, being large and imposing enough to hold Eybron’s entire cadre but also to give way to the excellent view. At the top of the hill sat the Sonicron, and it was the very first thing to catch Ruby’s eye. The breeze had picked up, and there was a faint whistling emanating from the perfectly concaved tube that only added to the dark eeriness of the scene. She didn’t like this at all, and as she was moved towards the white wingtail as he rested on the ground, she was more nervous then ever.
“The elders will be arriving shortly… shall I send for Star as well?” mentioned Barrau.
“Yes,” responded Eybron, rubbing his chin a bit in thought as he did some silent calculations about the event to come, “I wouldn’t want my mate-to-be to miss the big show.”
“As you wish,” replied the brown wingtail servant, but before he left he couldn’t resist his curiosity, “If I may ask… what is it that you plan to do my lord?”
Surprisingly Eybron seemed receptive to the question.
“I think I’d like to send our blue friend a little… message. Unfortunately it will probably be the last one he will ever hear,” relished the white wingtail.
“But, we don’t know where he is… how can we possibly–” began Barrau.
“I have my sources,” interjected Eybron, and as he said so he turned to a distant willow where a large, malevolent flyer sat and watched the proceedings far away from wingtail eyes, “Carry on with your duties Barrau.”
“As you will,” bowed Barrau as he set off.
With that business attended to, the menacing white wingtail turned to his next order – the runner child.
“H-hi,” stammered Ruby as he stepped towards her, “this is a really nice home you make your home in, if I could–”
She was cut off as he gripped the sides of her face, turning her head to face directly towards him. It was an aggressive and dominating gesture that immediately silenced her vain attempt at a greeting.
“Listen to me,” began Eybron, “you will not speak unless I tell you to, you will not move unless I tell you to. If you try to escape, you will not only die but you will suffer… am I clear?”
Ruby nodded as she began to shake in fear.
“There are twenty-six of my best wingtails here, watching your every move. Some of them lost brothers and sisters to your kind – and others, lost their hatchlings as well. They will show you mercy only as long as I tell them to. Here, I am the master… a kind of god if you will. Do you understand?”
Ruby nodded again, this time faintly.
“DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?!” shouted Eybron.
She nodded harder.
“Good,” said Eybron, and he tossed her aside onto the ground lightly, “ensure she remains here while I deal with the council.”
On her face, in the dirt, Ruby began to cry. For the first time she realized just how far away from home she actually was.
…
Within fifteen minutes not only had Star displeasurably arrived, but so did the elders and what seemed like half the wingtails in the entire forest. News spread really quickly in such a small community, especially if it concerned such a great happening. Nobody really knew what they had shown up to see, nor did they care. Exciting things didn’t happen in the Feral Forest too often. As usual, Cinceel and Tenebron were the last of the elders to arrive, positioning themselves surprisingly close to the ground on the branches of a dead tree. Without the setting of the Elders’ tree, they had to improvise.
“I look forward to your enacting our justice, Eybron,” Cinceel admitted sceptically, “perhaps you would be so kind as to ëreveal’ to us what you plan to do so close to our homeland and without Sky in your possession?”
“Indeed,” added the eldest of the elders, the old male who only spoke when necessary.
A crescendo of whispers broke out amongst the gathered wingtails, and all eyes were now centred on Eybron, who jumped into the air and glided gracefully up to where the Sonicron rested.
“I’m sure you all know about this creation… about it’s past, and possibly a bit about it’s purpose,” started Eybron as he ran a finger down the side of it.
“A useless relic, what’s your point Eybron?” shot Cinceel, who was clearly in a bad mood at being woken up so early.
“Perhaps,” admitted Eybron slyly, “or perhaps just ëmisunderstood…”
And the white wingtail began his speech, selling those gathered on his blighted plan.
While this occurred, Star couldn’t help but notice the poor runner flanked by two massive wingtails who didn’t seem to care about her obvious distress. As a teacher and lover of all children – even those of other races – she just couldn’t bear to let it be that way. With a light push, Star soared down to where Ruby was being held. The wingtails who watched Star for Eybron took care to follow her to the ground.
“Hello, you look like you need a friend,” said Star courteously as she extended a hand to the fastrunner. The guards looked on in disgust.
Ruby rubbed her eyes, and took Star’s hand. The scarlet wingtail pulled her in closer, and comforted the runner under her wing.
“Thank you,” whispered Ruby, so the other wingtails wouldn’t hear.
“… and so with the power of sound, I was able to make the earth itself tremble before the wraith of all who would oppose our power. Today, I will do so again… and when it happens the elements will reach up and drag Sky to his doom… as befits such a traitor.”
The whispers had evolved into uncovered speech and gasps of wonder. Eybron was playing right into the superstitious nature of his fellow wingtails, and they were buying every line of it. Even Cinceel, so it seemed.
“Alright Eybron,” the noxious elder said as she yawned, “go ahead and show us this justice you have promised so I can go back to sleep.”
“Very well,” the white wingtail responded.
With a short hop and another glide Eybron was standing in front of Star, and Ruby tried to burrow herself into the scarlet wingtail’s feathers for protection. He approached and, with a look of lust on his face as he stepped closer to Star, ungentily yanked the runner from under her. Star did not resist.
“One day you’re going to get what’s coming to you Eybron… mark my words,” Star hissed softly.
“Oh I will get exactly what’s coming to me dear… and that is you.”
He tried to lick her face, but Star was too fast for him and dodged it. The white wingtail pouted, before turning to the rest of those gathered, Ruby struggling to get free of his grip.
“My fellow wingtails, it is now time for me to give you exactly what you want – justice.”
“GIVE ME BACK MY FRIEND!”
Chomper jumped out from behind the bush where he had been hidden. He was snarling with his teeth fully bared, ready to kill if he had to.
“Chomper!” Ruby gasped.
“A sharptooth hatchling…” taunted Eybron, “and he’s come to rescue his next meal… how cute.”
It wasn’t long before Glide emerged as well, tall and weathered as any of the other wingtails present. It was his presence, as well as the scars and dried blood that still covered him, that caused the crowd of wingtails to go dead silent.
“Glide!” gasped Star with shock.
“And Glide too… come home at last?” teased Eybron.
“I have a bone to pick with you Eybron, and a chance to return all the pain and misery you have caused me,” Glide declared as he cracked his knuckles, “I’ve already put down your pathetic jailors.”
The entire crowd of wingtails burst with outrage, either condemning Glide as a lair or demanding answers from Eybron for the accusations. This was turning into quite the scene. It wasn’t until Cinceel screeched at the top of her lungs did order descend once more.
“Eybron…what is the meaning of this? Explain yourself,” She uttered in anger.
Tenebron just shook his head, and didn’t say anything.
“This matter can wait until later,” hissed Eybron, “right now we have justice to be served, starting with this runner… move it!”
The white wingtail shoved Ruby violently, and she grabbed the edge of the Sonicron to prevent herself from falling.
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” piped Chomper as he dashed forward, so fast that Eybron didn’t even notice him while he concentrated on Ruby. With a practised leap the sharptooth snapped onto the white wingtail’s tail with his jaws.
Eybron snarled, a snarl completely unlike even a wingtail would make when in pain. It sounded like a bloodthirsty animal. One hard trash and Eybron had thrown Chomper away, taking a good part of his tail feathers in his mouth with him.
“KILL THE SHARPTOOTH!” Eybron shouted.
The entire place erupted into chaos. As the guards descended out of the trees they rammed into other wingtails who were fleeing, or otherwise so invigorated that they took to the air. Only a few actually reached Chomper, but when they did the sharptooth was able to dodge them, for a time.
“Glide,” shouted Star as she pointed at Ruby, “Glide help her!”
So much was happening at once, he didn’t know what to do. On one wing Eybron had taken a hold of Ruby, and shoved her head into the narrow end of the horn.
“SCREAM!!” he bellowed, “SCREAM OR YOU DIE!!”
Ruby was so confused and in pain that she had burst out crying, and couldn’t hear Eybron’s demands. Else ware Barrau finally caught up with Chomper.
“Gotcha!” the brown wingtail said with relishment, and slowly he squeezed the sharptooth tighter and tighter until almost all the air had been pushed out of his lungs. Chomper was dying.
“GLIDE!!” shouted Star, but he couldn’t hear her.
Glide had made his choice.
With a cold, hard blow he connected right with Barrau’s face, hitting him so hard it amounted to an instant concussion. Another sweep of Glide’s wing and Chomper was out of his grip and on the ground, gasping for air.
Eybron could see the child wasn’t going to do what he wanted, so he took matters into his own hands. Lowering his head he snapped with his toothless jaws as hard as he could into the frontal lobe of Ruby’s tail, and she screamed.
Glide, who had been on his way up to free the fastrunner, was driven to the ground by the intensity of the sound. All around the clearing the chaos faded as wingtails covered their ears, or crashed to the ground in surprise. The sound was so pure, so terrible that none of them could move their arms from their ear holes for fear of losing their hearing. After a few seconds, the sound stopped.
As if reanimated, all around the clearing the wingtails slowly rose to their feet, some of their ears still ringing. Even Glide was feeling woozy, and could only remark at the total and complete silence of the moment. It was if the entire Earth stood still, waiting for the end to come.
Just as it seemed the sound would not return, Eybron smiled as the earth rumbled. Slowly at first it resonated, but it soon picked itself up as the pitch of the still vibrating Sonicron hit critical levels. Soon the wave of crushing sound moved on, and carried through into the distance picking up speed. In it’s destructive path trees feel down, cliffs collapsed, and columns of age old rock shattered their death throes.
As Ruby watched wide-eyed, lines of the tears still covering her face, the wave of sonic death descended towards the Black Mountain, and the Verdant Valley that lied directly on the other side.
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I finally caught up to this story and what can I say? The story is amazing. Vivid descriptions (especially of Wingtail culture) and all around awesome plot line.
Also there are some little mistakes I caught (I am getting tired so Pangaea will probably beat me to it.)
A line of potent yellow covered the horizon from north to south,
"Potent yellow" sounds rather odd
nearly loose his grip
Should that be "lose"?
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Ohh, this was a good chapter. :yes I had one of my little adrenaline rushes reading this chapter, right about when Thud’s pack attacked the wingtail jailers. And what a place for a cliffhanger! :wow
You know, even though I basically already knew how the Sonicron worked, Eybron’s demonstration in this chapter was awesome. Extremely well described, and to those readers (or characters) who don’t yet understand it, it illustrates the mechanism very clearly. (I felt horrible for Ruby, though. Poor thing. :cry)
It’s a little depressing that the sharptooth world is so devoid of altruism and friendship, but I really like how you’ve portrayed their society as being markedly different from the leafeaters’. You’d make a good xenofiction writer. (Actually, considering what you’ve already done with the wingtails, I suppose you are one.)
"Potent yellow" sounds rather odd
I kind of liked that choice of words myself. :p Serris is right about the loose/lose thing, though (which, by the way, I didn’t notice myself).
By the way, Serris, I may be the (self-)designated human spellchecker for this story, :P: but you are more than welcomeónay, encouragedóto point out things that I miss. :)
Speaking of which...it’s that time again, I’m afraid. :p (I’m trying a new style of emphasizing the parts of quotes that need editing. Tell me if you prefer it over my previous method of underlining.)
“Not as easy as you though was it?” remarked Glide as he pushed away, and hovered in the air.
Should be “thought”.
I noticed a number of instances in this chapter where you shifted into telling the story in present tense. This works okay for some narrative statements, but other times it just sort of causes dissonance with the rest of the narration. The next three quotes are examples that I think you should change to past tense (there are also some spelling errors):
The black wingtail may be mean, but he is one heck of a fighter and the sharptooth found himself marvelling at the manuverability and technique his carrier displayed as he engaged the hated kidnapper.
The black wingtail may have been mean, but he was one heck of a fighter and the sharptooth found himself marveling at the maneuverability and technique his carrier displayed as he engaged the hated kidnapper.
If all goes as planned he will be rid of both of his greatest enemies, and hopefully their cohorts in the process.
Should be “went” and “would”, respectively.
The entire thing hinged on the Sonicron of course, Benzon’s ancient horn that survived through the ages and had outlived it’s creator by whole generations. The great wingtail had discovered that sound was a dimension of its own – a physical force that can be manipulated to an end. Much like the sounds a prey makes can give itself away to the predator, or the jumping of fish can reveal it to the wingtails above.
The entire thing hinged on the Sonicron of course, Benzon’s ancient horn that had survived through the ages and had outlived its creator by whole generations. The great wingtail had discovered that sound was a dimension of its own – a physical force that could be manipulated to an end. Much like the sounds a prey makes can give it away to the predator, or the jumping of a fish can reveal it to the wingtails above.
Also, this isn’t necessarily a mistake, but I don’t understand what a prey animal alerting a predator to its presence has to do with sound being a physical, manipulatable force, or how they are analogous. :confused
In the following two quotes, all of the highlighted words should be “its”.All the better to prove his point he supposed, since it could easily be disposed of once it had served it’s purpose.
“I’m sure you all know about this creation… about it’s past, and possibly a bit about it’s purpose,” started Eybron as he ran a finger down the side of it.
The entire crowd of wingtails burst with outrage, either condemning Glide as a lair or demanding answers from Eybron for the accusations.
Should be “liar”.
Else ware Barrau finally caught up with Chomper.
Should be “elsewhere”.
Lowering his head he snapped with his toothless jaws as hard as he could into the frontal lobe of Ruby’s tail, and she screamed.
Again, not so much an error as a quizzical observation: I’ve never heard the term “frontal lobe” used to describe part of an animal’s tail.
In it’s destructive path trees feel down, cliffs collapsed, and columns of age old rock shattered their death throes.
Should be “its” and “fell”, respectively.
As Ruby watched wide-eyed, lines of the tears still covering her face, the wave of sonic death descended towards the Black Mountain, and the Verdant Valley that lied directly on the other side.
Should be “lay”.
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I'm surprised nobody has ventured a guess as to who Eybron's 'source' is on where Sky was to be found.
If this chapter was dramatic, the next one will probably be more 'revealing'.
One thing I really like about this chapter is that, to Littlefoot and Sky's group Glide is a villian, while to Ruby and Chomper's group he is turning into a hero. This could explain why in later times he is tolerated in the Great Valley as a vistor - because there are some who regard him as a friend.
It's very interesting the contrast between Littlefoot's and Ruby/Cera's group in that they both regard the main villians of the story very differently and provide a different perspective in every chapter :angel
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^ Are you dropping hints again? Shame on you! :p
I have wondered why Eybron is so confident that he will succeed in killing Sky on this particular day, but I haven't thought about who could have told him where he'd be. In any case, it's not in my nature to openly postulate on events or details of a story that, were they to be revealed by the author, would be considered spoilers (which, as I'm sure you already know, :p I hate). If you'd like to hear predictions from me, you can request them by PM.
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As I expected, it was an awesome chapter! Finally some more action. :D
I actually never thought about Eybron's 'source'. But I guess the next chapter will be, as you said, more revealing to answer this question. :smile
So, when will the next chapter be up? *is excited* :3
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I don't know when the next chapter will be completed, since the speed of completion is based on two things: (A) How busy my University schedule is, and (B) How inspired I am to continue with the story.
I can guarentee though that if you finish that Sky, Star valentines picture it will probaby be done sooner because I'll be inspired all the more :angel
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Hehe, I don't want to force you, but this chapter clearly inspired me to work on that picture. :smile
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I think I feel like working on Far Away Home tonight.
Is it just me or does the GOF feel dead around this time of the year?
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^ I can't tell if it's a yearly pattern, but I was thinking the same thing. :(
Good to know you're making progress on the story, though. :smile
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It could be that many GOF members are college students and they're just busy at this time, though I'm sure we'd see the same pattern in the fall if this were the case :unsure:.
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Part VIII: Sky’s Secret
Littlefoot was so agitated he didn’t even notice his fatigue as he finally topped the wall of the basin that held the Verdant Valley. He made a breakneck pace in the direction Petrie alluded to and the flyer was with him, keeping up and occasionally guiding on. The great circle was just beginning to rise, reminding them both that they had stayed awake all night chasing their friend. Once the Verdant Basin wall was behind them the flyer and longneck continued onward into a near desolate span of land known as the Steppes. Here, the poisoned gases spewed by the Black Mountain deposited often and excessively making it difficult for plant life to grow. Fortunately these emissions were not immediately toxic to living things, so a simple passer through could expect to come out as healthy as they came in… provided they made it out that is. The Steppes was known for its sharpteeth, and though Tyron held no sway here in the best of times a herd could only hope to avoid attack by sticking together. For a small group of adolescent dinosaurs, venturing through such blasted lands could be the last, fatal step they ever make.
“Me soo tired,” whined Petrie as he landed on an outcropped rock, and flopped onto his stomach.
“Me too Petrie,” agreed Littlefoot, “but we have to keep going… we have to find out why Sky left us.”
Admittedly, the task was a daunting one. The Steppes were a massive rocky place with any form of vegetation few and far in between, but…
“Hey,” thought Littlefoot out loud, “since there aren’t many trees… there aren’t many places he could land. Petrie, fly up and take a look at all the trees you can see, he has to be around here somewhere.”
It was good thinking, but Petrie didn’t care as he was so tired the only thing he could think about was curling up and going to sleep. Reluctantly, the flyer obeyed and after a moment or two he was back up in the air, scouting for their friend.
Just as Petrie had all but disappeared from sight, Littlefoot had another thought. He remembered when Ali and him had looked for Sky before… and they had found him on the Great Wall, overlooking the sunset. Since it was just breaking dawn, it would make sense that the blue wingtail would be resting in a place where he was facing the exact opposite direction – towards the retreating night. A place kind of like…
“That spire right over there,” finished Littlefoot as he his eyes met the greatest likeness of the Great Wall he could hope see.
The rock was shaped similar to a rough cone emerging from the rocky desert like a needle piercing the heavens. While it was certainly imposing enough, the dull orange of the dawn light portrayed it as probably the last place a young and alone longneck would want to go. Nonetheless, Littlefoot walked onward cautiously in case there might be any lurking sharpteeth or other enemies. A dull roar rang out through the air from far away, as if the death knell of some distant and forgotten leaf-eater had come, and it certainly didn’t help calm Littlefoot’s nerves.
Overall the longneck found he was liking this setting less and less the deeper he travelled into it… it reminded him of the Mysterious Beyond back home he had ventured through time and time again on his past adventures. More specifically though, this place reminded him of his mother… and the sharptooth. There was no more hurtful memory then that, and yet there was something else he remembered too – fear. Littlefoot just couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible was about to happen, but what it was he could only guess.
…
It took Littlefoot an hour to reach the rock, and fatigue was really starting to set in. The great circle had almost completely risen over the horizon, and he hadn’t had a minute of sleep. Fortunately Petrie had seen him and caught up with his findings.
“Me not see him anywhere,” sighed Petrie, just barely keeping aloft.
“I think I know where he is, follow me Petrie,” Littlefoot proclaimed.
The pair rounded the rock until they were facing the side bent towards the darkness. Littlefoot narrowed his eyes, and eagerly scanned the ledges towards the top. The light from the dawn was so bright and it was getting brighter by the second, making it almost impossible to see.
“I see him, he up there… look!” shouted Petrie.
At that moment Littlefoot noticed Sky too, resting near the top far out of reach of any potential predators. He couldn’t tell whether the large flyer was still sleeping, or staring down at him intently.
“Sky, Sky we’re down here!” called out Littlefoot.
Up above Sky yawned, breaking out of a thankfully dreamless sleep. To his dismay, the longneck was down below, calling up to him. His heart sank… Littlefoot had followed him. Silently the blue wingtail lamented the adolesant’s loyalty – he was so naÔve to think that he could leave Littlefoot and his friends so easily. With a depressed look, the blue wingtail glided down to the ground, and landed in front of Littlefoot.
“Finally, we’ve been looking all over for you,” said Littlefoot with a smile, trying to look to the positive side of the situation.
Petrie on the other hand, cowered in fear behind one of Littlefoot’s back legs afraid that Sky might start yelling at them again.
“What are you doing here Littlefoot, why have you followed me?” the blue wingtail questioned without anger, but with what sounded like regret.
“Because we’re friends,” answered the longneck without hesitation, “and friends stick together, always.”
Sky sighed, and rubbed his head briefly.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he concluded, “do you have any idea how dangerous this place is? If you had, then you would understand why I had to leave you and your friends back in the Verdant Valley, where you would be safe.”
“That’s it?” questioned Littlefoot, “we’ve come all this way just because you wanted us to be safe?”
“That is correct,” answered Sky with a bit of dignity.
“But what about you’re far away home,” urged Littlefoot, “what about the place where you were supposed to be taking us?”
“The Verdant Valley is your home now,” hissed Sky, “and you should have stayed there with your friends.”
Littlefoot felt a pang of anger rising.
“But…but… what about Cera and Chomper and the others… why didn’t we go back for them if all you wanted for all this time was for us to all be safe?”
“Littlefoot… ”
“We could have gone back to look for them… we could have stayed in the Forgotten Forest with the rest of my dads herd… I thought you had a good reason for bringing us along instead of just dropping us off whenever it suited you; I thought we were going somewhere important!”
“I am, but where I am going you cannot come with me,” Sky responded hardly.
“What do you mean we can’t come with you?” Littlefoot asked, trying hard to contain the feelings he felt inside, “If we couldn’t come with you then why didn’t you just leave us back in the Great Valley with our families and our friends?”
“You and Ali were stubborn… I wanted to go alone but you hatchlings wouldn’t leave me to my own…” Sky countered.
At that moment Littlefoot stopped, this was going too far. He sat in silence to cool off for ten seconds, then twenty, then a whole minute. Finally, he gathered himself to ask the question he had been yearning to ask the entire trip.
“Sky…” the longneck began quietly, without a trace of spite or anger, “what is really going on here? Why are the sharpteeth still chasing us, and why is your own kind attacking us… Why is my father dead?”
Sky knew the answer, and Littlefoot could tell by the way he turned away that he was hiding something… a big something.
“Not us,” lamented Sky, “it’s… me.”
Littlefoot did not respond… it wasn’t needed.
“Long ago, when I was young,” began Sky with his back still turned, “I did a terrible… terrible thing.”
There was another few seconds of silence, as Sky wiped away a small tear and turned towards his friends.
“I was young, and I was angry. All I wanted… the thing I wanted most in the world was to be together with the one I loved… another wingtail named Star.”
Sky used his wing to give a remissive gesture.
“But the elders, when they heard about the fights me and her brother got into… they separated us forever. Following this heart wrenching act, they then had the nerve to put me to service for them in a ëquest’ without any reward. It was a dictatum, a method to keep me away from that which I desired most… and for that I resented and hated them with every feather on my wings.”
The blue wingtail clinched his fists, matching his actions with his words.
“My quest was to find a holy object to my kind, a site of the Creators that had been long lost to us over the generations – a creation with unparalleled power of vision into all areas of the world – a place known as the ëEye of the World’,”
For some reason the words sent shivers down Littlefoot’s spine, even though he hardly knew what they meant.
“And I found it,” proclaimed Sky, “I found it, but after what they had done to me there was no way I was returning to the Feral Forest with what I knew. For splitting me up with Star and forcing me away I wasn’t about to do their dirty work… and so I… I,”
Sky turned away again, unable to complete the thought.
“You told someone else,” finished Littlefoot, now catching on to what exactly was going on, “but who did you tell?”
“After all I have taught you Littlefoot, after all the lessons you have learned the answer to that question should be clear…” Sky scolded, unwilling to reveal the truth.
Taking the lead, Littlefoot thought long and hard about everything, drawing on every memory and every thing that had been said and done up to this point.
“I see you are one tooth short of a full set,” Sky remarked as he eyed Chomper’s missing tooth.
“His name is Tyrus, he is the son of the tyrant king Tyron,” Sky said hurriedly.
Redgar paused as the two wingtails sat helplessly before him, yet he had no enemies here.
“Do you understand why I had to leave you and your friends back in the Verdant Valley, so you would be safe!”
… From the sharpteeth.
“You told them,” said Littlefoot in shock, “you told the sharpteeth!”
With a look of supreme sadness, Sky shook his head in acknowledgement. It was true.
“You’ve been on their side this whole time,” continued Littlefoot in rage, “you’re the reason the wingtails are chasing us… you betrayed them!”
“Littlefoot it’s not like that I can explain…” began Sky.
“So the sharpteeth could see everything… they could see the entire world and attack wherever they wanted. That’s how Tyron has been taking over… that’s why my father is dead and why those fast-biters didn’t kill you when they had the chance, because you are on their side!”
“I didn’t want any of this to happen Littlefoot, you’ve got to believe me,” Sky insisted.
Littlefoot would have none of it.
“But what I don’t understand is where you are going,” he growled, “… and why.”
There was no point in trying to keep it in now, Sky’s secret was out.
“Just before you two children came to me on the Great Wall, I was met by a fast-biter that I had not seen for a long time… a villain by the name of Redgar. He told me, through a translator, that the Tyrant King now had need of my Occular, and that he was willing to forgive my betrayal. I had removed it from the Eye of the World after I saw the terrible, terrible purpose he was using it for. Understand me Littlefoot, I had no choice but to obey or else I would have been killed on the spot.”
“So what,” countered Littlefoot, “the Occular is gone and you lost it, so what are you doing out here and why did you abandon us?”
“…running,” the wingtail whispered.
There was a tinge of fear in Sky’s reply, and Littlefoot couldn’t figure out why until he heard the sound of a dozen, ravenous hisses behind him. Turing around the longneck came face to face with a pack of snarling, hungry velociraptors with their teeth fully bared. At there head was the one Sky had mentioned, Redgar.
The sharptooth approached viciously, stalking towards the now cowering Littlefoot with a sense of grandiose accomplishment. There was no need to rush after all, for Redgar would finally get his wish and remove Sky for his deception, and in the process get a nice feast on longneck flesh.
Littlefoot backed up, holing himself against the rock trying his best to keep away from the slobbering pointed teeth bearing down on him. In a few moments it would be all over. Nobly and defiantly, Sky stepped in front of him and hissed, at best delaying the inevitable.
Redgar cackled at the gesture, and it was a truly menacing sound coming out of a fast-biter. Lashing forward he snapped at the air, just missing Sky’s face. The wingtail did not move… surprisingly he looked quite ready to die.
“Come and get us, slaves of the tyrant,” Sky proclaimed bravely and foolishly.
With a twitch of his head, Redgar signalled his pack to attack.
Suddenly, their screeches were drowned out by a horrible, crackling boom that shook the ground in its fury. Sky could tell that it was not one of Eybron’s false earthshakes… this was the real deal. A flash of bright red illuminated the dawn sky with brightness so intense it even distracted the fast-biters.
One by one they all turned and faced the source of the thunderous roar, and the sight was almost indescribable. It turned out that it was Sky who could describe it best.
“By all the mothers and fathers…”
A mushroom cloud of colossal proportions rose high up into the sky, it’s errie red afterglow still lighting up the landscape. The Black Mountain had exploded.
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Eybron’s goal had been to create an earthshake with the Sonicron, and hopefully catch Sky off guard while he was still sleeping and crush him under the weight of wherever cave or tree he had been sleeping. It was a crazy, insane plan that only had the slightest chance of working, but it sure made an impression on those who needed impressing. The wingtails now had a weapon, and they could use it against anyone they chose… the ultimate power over all living creatures.
The white wingtail knew that many other dinosaurs would die in his earthshake, but he reasoned that they were necessary sacrifices considering how valuable Sky was to Tyron's plans. Eybron’s hate of the Tyrant King was so deep and ingrained in his mind that the elimination of Sky was only a stepping stone towards a much greater goal – the final end of Tyron’s domain.
Eybron’s plan ended up not turning out as he expected. The sonic shattering wave travelled through the bedrock breaking it up and triggering mass collapse, but the impact was directed away from the Verdant Valley by the presence of the massive volcano – the Black Mountain. For millions of years the active volcano had been building it’s energy, readying itself for it’s next big eruption within a couple hundred thousand years or so. The earthquake from the Sonicron sped up this cycle exponentially, and the volcanic cap on the mountain was broken, triggering the direct collapse of the eastern face.
The result of this break away was a cataclysm of epic proportions, an explosive outburst that annihilated the mountainside and burst directly up into the air. The residents of the Verdant Valley stopped their daily business to look to the heavens, watching in marvel as the Black Mountain displayed its earthly power like prehistoric fireworks. It would be the last thing they would ever see. The ash cloud soon cooled, and in one fluid motion the pyroclastic cloud fell from the sky and descended down the face at over supersonic speeds. Before the hundreds of dinosaurs knew what was happening, the rolling cloud of death was upon their valley, and soon erased it from existence.
Within a space of only ten minutes, the Verdant Valley and all its inhabitants were wiped off the face of the Earth.
…
The fast-biters fled in fear. The cloud had not only hit the Verdant Valley, but now it was heading their way too, destroying everything in it’s path.
“Littlefoot, Littlefoot … what we do?” begged Petrie as the Sky and the longneck continued to stare at the eerie sight.
“I… I… don’t know,” stammered Littlefoot in fear.
“We won’t be safe here Littlefoot,” informed Sky, “we have to–”
“Littlefoot, over here!” came a call from the bottom of the spire. It was Ducky.
Ali, Ducky and Spike had followed Littlefoot’s footprints, and eventually tracked him to the big rock.
“Oh no…” whispered Littlefoot.
His friends would be killed by the column of rock.
“There is a cave over here,” stated Sky hurriedly, “we have to get in here or else we will be at our end.”
“Ducky, Ali, Spike… everyone get up here NOW!” shouted Littlefoot, and they obeyed with terrified glances backward as the cloud grew closer.
Barely soon enough, the entire group of them had crammed into the cave that was little more then a hollow in the rock. It was all they could do.
“Brace yourselves!” yelled Sky.
And with a terrible, thundering roar like nothing any of them had ever heard or felt before, the pyroclastic cloud slammed the other side of the spire rock, knocking some of them off their feet.
The combination of the shock of being tossed off his feet, the betrayal of his best friend, and his own fatigue was too much for Littlefoot to bear, and as soon as he hit the rocky ground of the nook-cave he passed out.
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Nice! You captured the raw power of a pyroclastic flow perfectly in your writing.
I wonder when the destructive power of the Eye of the World will be shown...
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Now for some errors I found:
poisoned gases spewed by the Black Mountain deposited often and excessively making it difficult for plant life to grow.
Using both "often" and "excessively" at the same time sounds redundant
"Poisoned gases" sounds strange to me but it works.
The Steppes was known for its sharpteeth
"was" should be "were
“Me soo tired,” whined Petrie as he landed on an outcropped rock, and flopped onto his stomach.
Was that intentional that you added an extra "o" to "so"?
Also, the comma seems unneeded.
“Hey,” thought Littlefoot out loud, “since there aren’t many trees… there aren’t many places he could land. Petrie, fly up and take a look at all the trees you can see, he has to be around here somewhere.”
"Thought" may not be the best choice of word here.
Reluctantly, the flyer obeyed and after a moment or two he was back up in the air, scouting for their friend.
I think a comma may be needed after "two".
He remembered when Ali and him had looked for Sky before…
"him" should be "he".
“That spire right over there,” finished Littlefoot as he his eyes met the greatest likeness of the Great Wall he could hope see.
"Finished" seems out of place as Littlefoot did not speak before saying that.
The rock was shaped similar to a rough cone emerging from the rocky desert like a needle piercing the heavens.
This sentence sounds awkward. I like the simile though.
Littlefoot had followed him. Silently the blue wingtail lamented the adolesant’s loyalty
"adolesant" should be spelled "adolescent"
“But what about you’re far away home,”
"you're" should be "your"
Forgotten Forest with the rest of my dads herd
"dads" should be "dad's"
The blue wingtail clinched his fists, matching his actions with his words.
"clinched" should be "clenched"
A mushroom cloud of colossal proportions rose high up into the sky, it’s errie red afterglow still lighting up the landscape. The Black Mountain had exploded.
"errie" should be "eerie".
For millions of years the active volcano had been building it’s energy, readying itself for it’s next big eruption within a couple hundred thousand years or so. The earthquake from the Sonicron sped up this cycle exponentially
Both uses of "it's" should be "its".
watching in marvel
This line sounds kind of awkward.
Before the hundreds of dinosaurs knew what was happening, the rolling cloud of death was upon their valley, and soon erased it from existence.
I think replacing "soon erased" with "erasing" sounds better.
destroying everything in it’s path.
"it's" should be "its"
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Wow...whoa...wow... :o :blink :wow My adrenaline was flowing all the way through that one. Awesome chapter!
So that’s the Black Dawn...the eruption of the Black Mountain. :o I second what Serris said. You did an awesome job of conveying the scale and destructiveness of the event. (And the scariest thing is that that really did happen, at least once, sometime in the late Cretaceous, to the dinosaurs of western North America. :blink:) After the last chapter, I was anticipating (as you probably intended) that Eybron’s artificial earthshake would destroy the Verdant Valley. Then you go and have a volcano blow up on us as a result of the earthshake. :wow Incredible! I’m eager to see how you plan to top this.
It’s hardly worth noting the irony that the gang survives the eruption by being outside the “safety” of the Verdant Valley and following Sky through the explicitly (and apparently infamously) treacherous Steppes.
Something that just occurred to me: the gang would probably want to wait a while before leaving the cave, because I would imagine that anything the pyroclastic flow had touched (including the ground itself) would be scorching hot (probably covered with volcanic ash and rocks as well). Of course, realistically, convection probably would have killed them inside the cave, but their method of survival in this scenario (which, if I recall, I suggested to you :oops) is no less realistic than allowing the characters to stand on rocks floating in lava, as in the first movie. :p
As for Sky’s secret, I regret to say that I wasn’t emotionally bowled over by a wave of shock at the revelation, but I definitely wasn’t expecting what he had to say. :!
I noticed that the chapter was lacking a postscript message of: <End of Act III>
Does that mean there’s a Part IX to this Act? :blink:
Okay...on to the spellchecking:
“That spire right over there,” finished Littlefoot as he his eyes met the greatest likeness of the Great Wall he could hope see.
That word should be deleted.“That spire right over there,” finished Littlefoot as his eyes met the greatest likeness of the Great Wall he could hope to see.
That word should be added.
The rock was shaped similar to a rough cone emerging from the rocky desert like a needle piercing the heavens.
This sentence sounds awkward. I like the simile though.
It would probably be improved by changing “similar” to “similarly” (I’m pretty sure that’s a grammar mistake), and adding a comma after either “cone” or “desert”.
“But what about you’re far away home,”
"you're" should be "your"
In addition to the error Serris pointed out, the comma at the end of this line should be a question mark.
Turing around the longneck came face to face with a pack of snarling, hungry velociraptors with their teeth fully bared. At there head was the one Sky had mentioned, Redgar.
Turning around, the longneck came face to face with a pack of snarling, hungry velociraptors with their teeth fully bared. At their head was the one Sky had mentioned, Redgar.
Note the comma I suggested near the beginning of the sentence. Also, I’m being pedantic here, but isn’t it more appropriate for an LBT story to call them “fast biters”, and not “velociraptors”?
A mushroom cloud of colossal proportions rose high up into the sky, it’s errie red afterglow still lighting up the landscape. The Black Mountain had exploded.
"errie" should be "eerie".
Also, “it’s” should be “its”.
The sonic shattering wave travelled through the bedrock breaking it up and triggering mass collapse, but the impact was directed away from the Verdant Valley by the presence of the massive volcano – the Black Mountain.
There should definitely be a comma following the word “bedrock”.
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That was really intense! :lol: Awesome chapter as always! :)
...
*sigh* I wish I could say more things so I'd be more of a help instead of saying the same line after every chapter... :neutral
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I’m eager to see how you plan to top this.
The original plan with the story was to have 3 Acts - One about the Occular, One about the Black Dawn, and One about the Eye of the World, but I found that there was a lot more I wanted to do prior to the Black Dawn. Believe me there is a lot of content for Part IV that in some cases will be equally good (though somewhat less destructive of course :p). No give-aways though.
As for Sky’s secret, I regret to say that I wasn’t emotionally bowled over by a wave of shock at the revelation, but I definitely wasn’t expecting what he had to say. :!
I had planned to have Sky working for Tyron the entire story, but by the end of Act II I realized that this revelation isn't going to sit well with the readers because you had come to admire him too much.
Nonetheless, Sky has some atonement to do and that is a key plot element of Act IV (again no give-aways, though they haven't forgot about his star day :lol)
Expect to see your OC as well in the coming parts.
I noticed that the chapter was lacking a postscript message of: <End of Act III>
Does that mean there’s a Part IX to this Act? :blink:
Yes there will be anoter part that will conclude Act III. No give-aways, though it will be called Part IX: Raining Ashes
Also, on the topic of the spell checks I will work on fixing the chapter, though I am somewhat surprised at the devotion of you guys Serris and Pangaea to the subject. I guess you really enjoyed the chapter, otherwise you wouldn't take the time to make it perfectly written as I desire as well. :lol
That was really intense! Awesome chapter as always!
...
*sigh* I wish I could say more things so I'd be more of a help instead of saying the same line after every chapter...
Your specialty is artwork, and you do a stunning job of it. I don't expect flowing reviews from anybody, but in particular you make up for your lack of substance with pictures that I could never hope to do even if my life depended on it. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to what you have planned for Act III :smile
Caustizer.
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I added a picture to the start of the thread that I thought best described the events at the ending of Act III, I did not make it though.
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I have been thinking and debating lately on a particular aspect of the story, and that is a part I was going to do for Eybron showing a bit of a 'lighter side' to his past personality. I am half thinking about including it, but if I do it may detract from his 'villiany' and make the story more tragic then epic. On the other hand not including it may result in a villian that is too cookie cutter without reasonable form in his actions.
What do you the readers think?
Caustizer.
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Rounded characters are always a plus. Are you aiming for a tragic villain or no?
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I think I understand your concern; you want your readers to hate Eyebron, but you’d also prefer him to be a three-dimensional villain. I am a little afraid that I’ll start to sympathize with Eybron if the “lighter” aspect you speak of causes him to appear too tragic. However, I like villains with depth, and if this relates to Eybron's backstory, I think it would be interesting to know how he “lost his innocence”, as he described it (to Glide, if I recall correctly). Eybron has probably already crossed the moral point of no return, so I wouldn’t worry too much about making him too sympathetic. (ëCourse, I’ve been wrong before...many times. :unsure:)
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Hmm... villains with backstory seems like a good idea in my opinion. That would clarify why villains are 'evil' and you made me quite curious about it now. On the other hand, you want your readers to 'hate' him. Maybe you could write something about his past, but not so detailed that we could sympathize with him. :unsure:
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Just to give an update Part XI: Raining Ashes is about 2/3rds done, but of course it still needs to be proof-read and editted so I can see it being done by Friday at the latest, but it could be up sooner.
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Part IX: Raining Ashes
Cera was mad, and boy was it a big anger. Sitting awake in the bottom of the Abyssal Caverns or whatever they were called with two other dinosaurs that she didn’t particularly like. Whether it was Thylo’s long winded sentences or Gentry’s impossible accent that was doing it, it didn’t matter – she was ready to snap. On top of it all, the threehorn had known that wingtail who dropped in on them was trouble the moment she saw him, and yet nobody had listened. First Littlefoot didn’t listen when Sky was leading them on some wild chase to nowhere, and then he didn’t care when the blue wingtail talked down about Ruby, and then he didn’t bother coming after her when the wingtails kidnapped her. She almost felt like nobody even listened to or cared about her anymore, like she was some secondary character in a story told about somebody else.
The main source of her frustrations had nothing to do with the spiketail and the egg stealer, but they ran much deeper. Those two wingtails who had kidnapped her, whoever they were, had taught her an important lesson that she didn’t want to acknowledge, and that was that the universe did not revolve around her. There were things in life that she couldn’t change no matter how hard she tried, and that maybe the world was a much bigger and more dangerous place then her daddy said it was.
“No need to be all up in a brood Shera mate,” Gentry insisted as he tugged a few floating water greens out of the stagnant water pool, “they’ll be back before the Circle shines through he cracks I’m sure.”
“I can feel however I want egg-stealer,” growled Cera, “and my name is Cera!”
Gentry raised an eye line, since dinosaurs don’t have eyebrows.
“I wasn’t on you about your name… shera mate is what you call a girl who is your mate,” said the egg-stealer with a bit of embarrassment, “but not… you know… your mate.”
Hearing the conversation, Thylo jumped up in excitement.
“Am I your shera mate too? Cause if I am that would be great since we’re all alone and I don’t have any friends and umm… I kind of like you guys.”
“Of course you are,” Gentry chuckled.
The egg-stealer gathered up the bundle of lake-weed that he had been gathering in the stagnant pool and rolled it over to Thylo. She was really hungry, and promptly started gobbling it down like a fastrunner in a sweet bubble bush. All this childishness was getting on Cera’s nerves, and boy did she express it.
“Ooo,” moaned Cera in frustration, “I’m sick of this place!”
The threehorn kicked a nearby pebble into the pond.
“…And I’m sick of being trapped like a hatchling. I’m sick of this watery green food, I’m sick of wingtails, and most of all I’m sick of you!”
Her last jab was targeted at Gentry, for whom she was developing a strong dislike. The egg-stealer blinked in surprise.
“I’m getting out of here,” continued Cera, “…and one way or the other I’m going to get my friends back.”
Not waiting for an answer, the threehorn jumped into the small pond with a splash and waded towards the gap in the stone wall where the water was coming in.
“Hmm,” snorted Gentry, “who put droppings in her green food?”
Thylo looked after Cera, who was busy forcing her way through the extremely compact wall gap. After a few moments, she wiggled inside and her tail disappeared into the darkness.
“It’s too boring around here,” commented the dark green spiketail, “I’m going outside too… see ya later shera friend!”
And Thylo jumped into the water too leaving the mildly surprised white egg-stealer all on his own. There was no way he was going to stay here all alone after that.
“Hey I’m coming too… don’t go leaving me behind now,” Gentry called out as he hopped down into the warm water.
As the three children made the best of an escape attempt, not a single one of them had any idea what lurked in the dark section where the water had been coming in or whether they would actually be able to go outside from here, but it was their only option.
The Abyssal Caverns had three possible entrances. There was a set of holes in the ceiling, with one being the place where they had been tossed after their capture and the other the place directly above the pool where the wingtails had come in. Sometimes sunlight would emerge from this gap, but most of the time it was completely dark and out of reach of the young dinosaurs at the roof of the cave. Without the luxury of wings, the only path was the water bringing crack. This small cove was so close to the surface of the lake that under normal winds the water would almost completely fill it, making 90% of the rocky tunnel to the lake an underwater one. In these conditions, the children would most certainly of drowned, but today they were lucky as the winds had died down and the waters receded, making a short swim to freedom a possibility.
“It looks really dark down there mates,” pointed out Gentry nervously as the three of them stood on the edge of the black river that ran out to the lake. After a short push through the crack they had emerged into a very small chamber that offered only two options – back through the crack or right into the murky water to hopefully swim for an exit. The egg-stealer was the tallest of the group, and he was nearly bumping his head on the roof. It was a good thing none of them were claustrophobic, or this would be hellish.
“What are you a scaredy egg?” challenged Cera, “follow me.”
The threehorn jumped into the water and made a swim for it, her head and nose bobbing above the water as she moved. Thylo, who was quite fearless, immediately followed afterwards.
“You’re both insane,” commented Gentry, “you can’t possibly go thinking that –”
It was no use, they were both gone. Biting the bone and taking a deep breath, the egg-stealer jumped into the water too. Unlike the pool, it was ice cold on his feet. As he swam forward the roof got closer and closer to the surface of the water until he was scraping his nose on the stone as his head barely poked out of the water so he could breathe. Panic began to set in, and a moment later something slimy brushed his foot. Gentry yipped in surprise, and boosted himself out of the water, not caring if he would bump his head – only to meet with open air.
Taking a deep breath, the egg-stealer grabbed a nearby rock and rubbed his eyes. With a blink, he saw exactly what they were hoping to see. The smells of the outside hit his nostrils and the egg-stealer breathed a sigh of relief – they had made it!
Tired from the short and harrowing swim, the three dinosaurs crawled up onto a sandy beach near the exit of the cave, and just lied there.
“That… was… fun,” said Thylo to Gentry in between breaths.
“Not something I’d fancy to do again though,” the egg-stealer answered.
“Hey,” piped up Cera thoughtfully, “is it just me… or does the sky look different then it should?”
Both Gentry and Thylo looked up to the sight of a deathly black column, and turbulent clouds of fire flowing through the ashes still billowing out of the Black Mountain.
“The sky is… burning,” described Thylo in wonder, “that’s so amazing!”
The spiketail didn’t know yet, but the volcano had consumed her entire family in its wraith. The after effects of the eruption manifested themselves into a fiery thunderstorm which, as the winds dictated, began to rain ash on the Feral Forest. The grey flakes trickled down like snow, reflecting the grim reality that all of the dinosaurs and wingtails there now faced. The stakes had risen, for what had started as an adventure would soon become a struggle to the death not only against a single enemy but against two of them. As it would chance, one said enemy was nearby.
Thudd peered out from the bushes, his yellow tinted eyes (with blue retinas) watching the children on the beach very closely. The fast-biter instinctually stalked them, planning the right moment to strike while they were tired and vulnerable. Fortunately for Cera, Thylo and Gentry, at this moment Thudd wasn’t hungry at all – in fact he was quite full.
Picking the wingtail flesh out of his teeth, the fast-biter snarled with glee before turning away. He had made up his mind to spare Chomper and his friends should he catch them alone, but his own natural instincts still drove him to hunt prey and should the occasion arise it would be quite difficult to keep his covenant. It was a good thing for them that today he wasn’t eager to rip the flesh from their bones, but next time?… who knows.
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The sky was burning, and to Eybron it was quite fitting. It was like how he knew that out there somewhere the real Sky was burning down to his bones, and that Star was completely absolved of her previous obligations. Admittedly, he hadn’t expected things to go so well. It was doubtful that the earthshake he had created would have actually killed Sky of course, and if the blue wingtail was as crafty as he had proven time and time again he would simply have taken to the air to escape… but that wasn’t the point. The point was that he had to convince the elders that Sky was in fact deceased, and since the Black Mountain had decided to erupt sooner then usual it proved all too convenient to serve that very purpose. He had to hand it to himself… things had worked out brilliantly.
There was nothing the gathered wingtails could do but stare at the blackish red conflagration with awe, wonder, and to some abhorrence. The great circle had fully risen over the horizon, but it was barely visible amongst the blacked smoke and volcanic ash in the distance. Few of them would truly understand what had occurred, but it would eventually become known as ëThe Black Dawn’. The utter silence following the fiery explosive permeated the atmosphere, and even the smaller flyers refused to sing like they usually did. Slowly but surely the wind was picking up.
Eybron broke the silence with two claps of his hands. They were arrogant, boastful claps that one might do to applaud his own performance. All eyes turned to him.
“You all came here so early expecting a show, and yet… I do not hear any gratitude,” the white wingtail stated.
Again, all silence. Ruby had stood up, the dried tears of her previous torture still showing, while Glide and Chomper stood together flanked by at least a half dozen of Eybron’s personal guards. They were not surrounding them as they had been ordered, but were rather simply part of the crowd forced to observe the mass genocide their master had inflicted. The elders were silent also, and even Cinceel who had raised her head to say something lowered it again. There really was nothing to say.
“Hmm,” snorted Eybron, “now that that business has been taken care of, it is now time to address another equally pressing matter.”
The wingtail turned to Barrau, who was busy rubbing his head where Glide had hit him.
“Turn the Sonicron towards the Tyrant Spire… we have another enemy to be ëremoved’.”
The brown wingtail had been trained to obey unconditionally, and he did. Ordering four other wingtails whom were present, the group of them proceeded to push the Sonicron on it’s base to turn it towards the wastes in the southwest. The sound of grinding glass on stone finally did it for those who were present, and the first one to step up was the youngest elder, a green wingtail who had recently been appointed to the duty following the death of his mother.
“Are you insane?” Theanol shouted, “you dare commit such a blatant act of murder and you expect us to let you do it again? Cease this act at once or we will retract your status!”
“Me, insane!?!” repeated Eybron with a laugh, “If you are looking for someone to blame for this look only to yourselves! Or is it that now ëby all means necessary’ does not apply?”
“Butchering an entire valley for your maniacal fantasies does not fall under the ëby all means necessary’ category. By the authority vested in me, I hereby relieve you of your duties as this shine guardian, and furthermore–”
“Learn you place Theanol!” shouted Tenebron, who had finally stepped in, “I’m the head of this council and I will decide what is to be done. Eybron has acted in a manner that fully follows our demands… he is not to be –”
“Coming from his inept father,” interrupted Cinceel venomously, “the one who refused to guard the nest after his mother passed away.”
That hit a nerve. When Eybron’s mother Monni died from sickness she had left behind a pair of eggs for Tenebron to care for. He was jostling for a position in the elder’s council at the time, and on one particular day he had left the nest unguarded figuring it was safe in the hands of those nearby. He came back to find one egg smashed, and the other gone. The incident had been covered up for entire seasons, and to reveal it now in public was a grave step across the line for Cinceel.
“You will not speak of that here Cinceel,” growled Tenebron, “so help me I’ll put you down on the spot.”
Cinceel decided to appeal to the crowd, now that the matter was public.
“Here is our ëhead of the council’ resorting to death threats to keep his position. You and your son have disgraced our entire race with this display, and if anything it is you that needs to be put down as our leader.”
This ignited a furious mudslinging and screeching contest between the two wingtails, as well as those gathered who supported them. Soon the two camps had sorted to opposite sides of the clearing hurling insults and threats at each other. This situation was not benefitting Eybron at all, as time was wasting and he needed to crush Tyron before it was too late.
“What are you waiting for?” shouted Eybron over the mass of voices, “turn the Sonicron towards where I told you!”
The guards did not obey, after all the white wingtail had been relieved of his duties so they no longer had to listen to what he had to say. The situation was so confusing most of them elected to wait until order was restored to act.
Eybron hissed in anger.
“Do it now, I command you!”
The white wingtail knew the enemy far better then any other wingtails did, and after his little demonstration with the massive glass horn he knew exactly what was coming. It was only a matter of time before Tyron extended his claws to the Feral Forest as well.
Ruby took advantage of the chaos and joined Chomper and Glide.
“Ruby am I glad to see you,” the sharptooth said as she hugged him.
“And I’m glad to see you too.”
The as the two children embraced Glide looked on neutrally, not caring on the outside but inside he was glad they were both safe.
“Glide.”
He heard a familiar voice behind him, and turning around he saw Star looking at him expectantly.
“Yes?” responded Glide with no emotion.
Star rushed forward, and embraced him. She wanted all this fighting to stop, and for Glide to understand why she made the choice she did. The top of her head rubbed his chin, and he softened a bit.
“You betrayed me,” the black wingtail said, though he couldn’t help but smile.
Star pulled back slightly.
“No I didn’t… I did it because I love him.”
“How can you possibly love him,” snarled Glide, “after all he’s done, after all the ways he’s hurt us.”
“Sky is not as bad as everyone says he is,” Star said as she corrected him, “you have been too hard on him because of how you’ve been protecting me. Look around you Glide, look at who the real enemy is.”
Glide spared a small glance about, looking at the elders who were busy bickering amongst themselves, and at Eybron who was shouting in rage at his guards for their disobedience.
“Maybe,” said Glide hesitantly, “I don’t know… but what I do know as that you should never do this to me again. I only want what’s best for you.”
“Glide,” said Star desperately, “please… let me go. I’m not a hatchling anymore; I know who’s right for me and it’s Sky.”
An alarming smell hit Chomper’s nose as the jubilation of his reuniting with Ruby wore off. He sniffed the air, this time harder. There were sharpteeth near and they were getting closer.
“Ruby,” Chomper said, “I smell sharpteeth… other sharpteeth.”
“W-well, we better get out of here before here ends up eating us,” stated Ruby, and the two of them ran into the woods as fast as their legs would carry them.
A terrible set of screeches rang out, and the sounds of carnage and violence once more entered the clearing. All around, sharpteeth sprung out of the bushes and from behind trees. This was no mere pack, but a full on attack. Tyron’s forces had arrived.
The wingtails were caught completely off guard, and several on the ground were caught within the bloody melee of jaws and talons. The elders were also on the ground, and within moments they were surrounded by sharpteeth.
Theanol and two others were fast enough to take to the air, but Cinceel, Tenebron, and the oldest one were too slow. The teeth of a single fast-biter leading the group sunk into the oldest one, and he barely made a sound as he was torn apart. Two of them jumped on Tenebron, who put up a decent fight and forced them into a standoff. Against all their instincts, the gathered wingtails sprung into action as their elders were in danger. Soon they began diving like a deadly rain, striking the attacking sharpteeth with their feet and wings, screeching their outrage. Both sharpteeth and wingtails were dying left and right as the greatest of land and sky fought to the bitter end.
“Bring it on pups… I’m too old to be taken down by the likes of you,” hollered Cinceel as she made it into the air, despite the rips on her face and wings. Tenebron wasn’t so lucky.
“Eybron!” he shouted desperately, “… help me!”
The white wingtail stood there, and did absolutely nothing. His father deserved this… they all did. None of them truly understood how long Tyron’s claws were, or how cunning of an enemy he was. They would learn how wrong they were to try to deny him from demolishing the Tyrant Spire, and ending the sharptooth ruler’s life as well as his empire forever.
“Glide,” whispered Star as they still held each other close, “go with these children… they need you.”
“What do you mean sister?” Glide asserted.
“I’ll be fine here… they need your protection more then I do.”
“But… what about Eybron?” Glide questioned, “I can’t allow him to force you to mate.”
“I can handle him,” Star said reassuringly, “but that runner and her friend won’t survive without your help.”
Glide just glared at her, and didn’t say anything.
“If you won’t do it for them,” begged Star, “then please… do it for me.”
She stuck out her tongue and licked his cheek, and for once her brother smiled. With a nod and a stroke his wings, the black wingtail made after Ruby and Chomper into the trees.
Glide could never tell her, but as much as he loved her as a sister there was a part of him that loved her as a female. It was the real reason he hated Sky so much – his overly protectiveness was really just a mask of his jealousy. First and foremost however, his responsibility as her brother was one he took very seriously and he was loath to leave her side now that he was free… but she was right. The two hatchlings would need him more then ever in the days ahead.
…
Ruby and Chomper made it to shore in short time, only to come across a big surprise when they reached the beaches.
“Cera, Gentry, Thylo, you’re all here!” exclaimed Chomper excitedly.
“Well what do you know,” smiled Gentry, “our escape was quite timely I’ll say.”
The two groups of children met once again on the dawn lit sands of the beach.
“Cera am I glad to see you,” stated Ruby with joy as she unthinkingly walked up and hugged the threehorn.
Cera lightly pushed her away.
“I’m glad to see you too Ruby,” she said with a tinge of annoyance, “but please… don’t do that again.”
“Oh,” replied Ruby in embarrassment, “sorry.”
Glide flew in behind their group and landed with a thud, causing pretty much all of them to jump in fright.
“Hrm, it’s just you,” grumbled Cera impolitely, “what do you want?”
It was a slight that Glide would not take.
“I want you all to move away from here before I decide rip those horns out of your face one by one,” the black wingtail snarled, “the sharpteeth are on their way and they are hungry.”
Chomper sniffed the air.
“They’re already here, run!” he cried in alarm.
In the woods above, the fast-biters were dashing through the leaves and were almost upon them in the sand.
“To where, hatchling?” inquired Cera in annoyance, mad at being upscaled by a wingtail.
“In the water… right now!” asserted Glide without a tinge of hesitation.
Not wasting any time, the group of them jumped right back into the water and made for the middle of the lake.
“Glide,” added Chomper, “I can’t swim!”
“Go with the runner,” shot Glide, “I’ll hold them off!”
Chomper jumped onto Ruby’s tail, and soon they were in the water swimming for dear life. Glide on the other hand, took to the air and hissed and screeched at the sharpteeth trying to distract them. It didn’t work. What did work though was that they stopped at the water, not daring to any farther.
A particularly ravenous fast-biter, whom hadn’t eaten for days, suddenly reached the decision that he wasn’t going to let a bit of water deny him a meal and waded into the water, improvising his way into swimming. Alarmingly, he was gaining on Chomper and Ruby.
Seeing that they would eventually be caught, Glide did something incredible noble and selfless, but also stupid. He dove at the water hitting the sharptooth with his feet and driving both of them underwater.
Caught in a breathless environment the sharptooth and the wingtail proceeded to fight to the death with what little air they had left, knowing full well only one of them could survive. Glide kicked, punched and struggled his way until the two of them hit the bottom of the lake and their breath begun to give out. The sharptooth quit life first, breathing out and allowing his lungs to fill with water. Glide trying to hold on, but there was no way he could. The black wingtail was destined to die down here, he knew it. His last thought was hoping that Star could forgive him for this.
Suddenly, as if by a miracle, a hand reached down and grabbed one of Glide’s wings. Half conscience, he opened his eyes to see who was trying to save him. It was Ruby. When the children reached shallow water, Chomper had jumped over to Cera allowing the fastrunner to go down and try to save Glide.
With a thrust of her feet on the rocky bottom of the lake, Ruby managed to push the two of them up and towards the surface. It would have been impossible, but thanks to wingtails being flyers and hence having light bones, lifting him up wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be. Just as the two of them broke the surface, Glide took in his first mouthful of water.
The wingtail came up gasping and coughing, spitting water everywhere. He was lucky, as he fully knew that he came within a few seconds of meeting the same watery grave that his parents had many seasons ago. He owed his life to the fastrunner, as she now did to him. He supposed that evened the debt.
“That was quite a dive there Ruby,” commented Gentry as he floated on his back, “you got him just in time.”
Ruby smiled in triumph… it had been as easy as catching a really, really big fish.
“Umm, guys,” interrupted Cera, “I hate to interrupt the celebration and all… but why is the lake doing the swimming for us?”
It was true… they were barely paddling yet the current was pulling them along. Suddenly they all noticed the devilish roar that filled the air.
“Oh no,” called out Glide, “the Whirlpool… it’s going to suck us in!”
There was no use, as the group of them was so far beyond the point of no return they didn’t even know what it looked like when they crossed it.
“Well, it was nice knowing you all… we could’ve been real good mates,” added Gentry unnecessarily.
“Yay a whirlpool!” stated Thylo excitedly, “this is going to be fun fun fun!”
“Yeah until we drown and die…” replied Cera sarcastically.
Gentry was the first to be sucked down, and he disappeared underneath the water followed very closely by Thylo (who was jeering at the fun) and Chomper. Cera paddled as hard as she could, but in the end it claimed her too. Next was Glide, who made his mind up not to die this time, and took in a huge breath before passing below the surface. Last of all was Ruby, who silently prayed for salvation. She didn’t know to who, or what… but what she did know is that they needed another miracle. As the water sucked her down, the last thing to disappear under the surface was her open hand, stretched desperately towards the sky.
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The battle was turning against the wingtails, and many of them were retreating into the trees, leaving the blood of their dead to mingle with that of the slain sharpteeth. As if to highlight the monumentous event, ash began to rain from the sky. Amidst the blood, death, and carnage, the white wingtail stood alone atop the Sonicron, his wings spread wide as he looked straight up into the sky with insane joy written all over his face. The elders were no more, and with nobody left to turn to to lead them, the Sonicron lord was all the wingtails had.
A single ravenous fast-biter spotted Eybron atop the glass horn, and with a hungry snarl sprinted up the hill and leaped into the air, his mouth open wide for a feast. The white wingtail was more cunning however, and with a motion like lightning his arm shot out and connected directly with the sharptooth’s throat. The combined force of the leap and the jab instantly shattered it’s throat passage, and as the snarling sharptooth hit the ground and rolled about, choking and sputtering on it’s own blood. Sensing his time on the ground would be limited, the white wingtail took to the air with the rest of his wingtail comrades, circling the battlefield.
“My lord,” inquired Barrau as he glided up beside him, “the Sonicron is lost, what are we to do?”
Eybron glanced in annoyance at the far away tree, where the sharp beak had been watching the proceedings with interest.
“I think we will need to inform Tyrus that the parameters of our little deal have shifted.”
Both Eybron and Prince Tyrus shared common goals, so it was only natural that at some point they would come into collusion. Both of them wanted King Tyron to be dead or displaced – with the white wingtail wanting revenge, while the sharptooth was keen to take over his father’s empire. The two of them also had common goals in eliminating Sky, with the wingtail needing him dead so he could mate, while the sharptooth wanting him dead for vengeance. Since Tyrus lacked the means to achieve both of these goals on his own, he had arranged for the sharp beak Macaw to collect information about Sky’s whereabouts from Redgar, who had been following the blue wingtail to ensure that he carried out Tyron’s task without error. Only Tyrus and Macaw were part of this treason, but had the tyrant king been killed then the prince would have been the new royalty and fit to rule as he chose. Now that Tyron was still alive and Sky’s fate was unknown, Eybron would have to get craftier to achieve his ends.
“The Tyrant Prince is displeased with your contribution wingtail,” Macaw stated as he flew up next to Eybron and Barrau, “but he is also ready to give you another chance to serve.”
“I take orders from nobody hatchling slasher,” Eybron asserted and with a hiss and mock strike of his wings he established his dominance over the sharp beak.
“Of course of course,” muttered Macaw as he shielded himself desperately.
“What is it that your ëTyrant Prince’ still has to offer me?” Eybron enquired.
“The prince gives you… guidance to the place of unlimited sight.”
The white wingtail perked up in shock at the revelation.
“You know its location sharp beak?” Eybron gloated, “I think… this will prove a very fruitful relationship indeed.”
Once again, Eybron smiled. It was a vicious, maniacal smile that would only mean one thing – before the end of the season another relic of the wingtails would be his – the Eye of the World.
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<End of Act III>
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Nice chapter; I can't wait to see how they escape the whirlpool.
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So that was Eybron's past, hmm? So he was kidnapped or did he hatch long before? :unsure:
Gotta love Thylo in this chapter. :D So full of fun, it's quite hilarious! :DD
And the real reason of Glide's hatred towards Sky... that was really touching (I almost teared after reading that... :oops).
And now, Act IV is coming! :o I'm really excited! It gave me a burst of inspiration! :lol:
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I'm glad you like this chapter. If you remember from the chapter list I posted a while ago (which is now horribly incorrect) the prologue for Act IV addresses Eybron, just like the prologue for Act II did for Tyron.
I had a ton of ground to cover in this past Part in order to conclude the Act where I wanted to, and it shows with it being the longest chapter to date (5,100 words).
The prologue for Act IV will of course be shorter than a normal Part, but thankfully that means I can finish it sooner.
Far Away Home is now 3/4 done, but believe me there is still a lot to go. Act IV is a good one.
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As I was reading this chapter, I was thinking about how long it was, and was very appreciative of the fact! :D :P:
You did a very good job emphasizing Eybron’s nastiness (I’d use “evil”, but I don’t like the word :p). I have the suspicion that that was intentional, to further ensure that we readers don’t feel much sympathy for him when you reveal more of his backstory. As far as I’m concerned, it’s working.
Meanwhile, the needle on my sympathy meter for Glide is swinging in the opposite direction. I really like the character development he seems to be undergoing (feeling secretly glad that Ruby and Chomper are safe, and protecting the group from the fast biter), and how you’re elaborating on the emotional background of his own unpleasantries (which are much more justifiable than Eybron’s, due to being far less selfishly motivated).
She almost felt like nobody even listened to or cared about her anymore, like she was some secondary character in a story told about somebody else.
Leaning on the fourth wall there, are we? :p Seriously, though, I’m sympathizing with Cera a lot here. I’m looking forward to what I hope will be an eventual moment in the sun for her. (Although I would have thought that she’d have learned her lesson in humility a long time ago.)
It also didn’t occur to me at all that Thylo and Gentry might have come from the Verdant Valley, and so it was quite a shock when the narrative revealed that the former’s family was dead. Poor Thylo. :cry I wonder what’s going to happen to her afterwards (assuming she survives to the end of the story).
By the way, just for clarification, is the Black Dawn the eruption of the Black Mountain itself, or the ashy aftermath that literally blackens the vicinitive regions?
Unfortunately, with long chapters come long lists of proofreading notes: :p
On top of it all, the threehorn knew that wingtail who dropped in on them was trouble the moment she saw him, and yet nobody listened.
On top of it all, the threehorn had known that wingtail who dropped in on them was trouble the moment she saw him, and yet nobody had listened.
Those two wingtails who kidnapped her, whoever they are, taught her an important lesson that she didn’t want to acknowledge, and that was how the universe did not rotate around her. There were things in life that she couldn’t change no matter how hard she tried, and that maybe the world was a much bigger and more dangerous place then her daddy said it was.
Those two wingtails who had kidnapped her, whoever they were, had taught her an important lesson that she didn’t want to acknowledge, and that was that the universe did not revolve around her. There were things in life that she couldn’t change no matter how hard she tried, and * that maybe the world was a much bigger and more dangerous place then her daddy said it was.
*I think you should insert “she realized” (or something of the sort) here.
Her last jab was targeted at Gentry, of whom she was developing a strong dislike.
Should be “for”.
The Abyssal Caverns had three possible entrances. There was a set of holes in the ceiling, with one being the place where they had been tossed after their capture and the other the place directly above the pool where the wingtails had come in.
In describing “a set” of holes, it sounds as if there are more than two of them, and that they represent only a single entrance. Also, to me, “place” doesn’t sound like quite the right word to describe a hole. Overall, you may want to re-word this paragraph a bit.
In these conditions, the children would most certainly of drowned, but today they were lucky as the winds had died down and the waters receded, making a short swim to freedom a possibility.
Should be “have”.
“What are you* a scaredy egg?” challenged Cera, “follow me.”
*There should be a comma right here.
Tired from the short and harrowing swim, the three dinosaurs crawled up onto a sandy beach near the exit of the cave, and just lied there.
Should be “lay”.
The spiketail didn’t know yet, but the volcano had consumed her entire family in its wraith.
Should be “wrath”, with no ëi’. (This also goes for every instance in which you used the word previously, including, I believe, one of the chapter titles.)
The after effects of the eruption manifested themselves into a fiery thunderstorm* which, as the winds dictated, began to rain ash on the Feral Forest.
*Comma.The after effects of the eruption had manifested themselves as a fiery thunderstorm, which, as the winds dictated, began to rain ash on the Feral Forest.
Thudd peered out from the bushes, his yellow tinted eyes (with blue retinas) watching the children on the beach very closely.
I think you mean “irises”. The retina lines the inner surface of the eye; the iris is the colored ring surrounding the pupil.
The utter silence following the fiery explosion permeated the atmosphere, and even the smaller flyers refused to sing like they usually did.
Should be “explosion”.
Ordering four other wingtails whom were present, the group of them proceeded to push the Sonicron on it’s base to turn it towards the wastes in the southwest.
”It’s” should be “its”. Also, I’m pretty sure “whom” should be “who” (darn, I hate those two words <_<).
Soon the two camps had sorted to opposite sides of the clearing* hurling insults and threats at each other.
*Comma.
The as the two children embraced Glide looked on neutrally, not caring on the outside but inside he was glad they were both safe.
First of all, “the” should be deleted, but also I think you should rework this sentence a bit (maybe even split it into two). “Neutrally” seems to imply that Glide is both visibly and privately uncaring, which is contradicted by the rest of the sentence. In any case, it is probably not necessary to say that he is both “looking on neutrally” and “not caring on the outside”. Here is my idea for a revised version:Glide looked on as the two children embraced. On the outside, he didn’t seem to care, but inside he was glad they were both safe.
You could substitute “didn’t seem to care” for “appeared neutral”, or, of course, modify the entire paragraph to your liking.
“How can you possibly love him,” snarled Glide, “after all he’s done, after all the ways he’s hurt us.”
The comma and period I have highlighted should probably both be question marks.
It was the real reason he hated Sky so much – his overly protectiveness was really just a mask of his jealousy.
That whole phrase should be simply “overprotectiveness”. It’s possible that “of” should be “for”, but I’m not certain of it. :unsure:
“Well* what do you know,” smiled Gentry, “our escape was quite timely* I’ll say.”
*There should be commas here, and the comma I highlighted should be a question mark.
“I want you all to move away from here before I decide * rip those horns out of your face one by one,” the black wingtail snarled, “the sharpteeth are on their way and they are hungry.”
*Insert “to”.
A particularly ravenous fast-biter, whom hadn’t eaten for days, suddenly reached the decision that he wasn’t going to let a bit of water deny him a meal and waded into the water, improvising his way into swimming.
Should be “who”.
Seeing that they would eventually be caught, Glide did something incredible noble and selfless, but also stupid. He dove at the water* hitting the sharptooth with his feet and driving both of them underwater.
“Incredible” should be “incredibly”.
*Comma.
Glide trying to hold on, but there was no way he could.
Should be “tried”.
Half conscience, he opened his eyes to see who was trying to save him.
Should be “conscious”.
When the children reached shallow water, Chomper had jumped over to Cera* allowing the fastrunner to go down and try to save Glide.
Insert “had” before “reached”.
*Comma.
Gentry was the first to be sucked down, and he disappeared underneath the water* followed very closely by Thylo (who was jeering at the fun) and Chomper.
To ”jeer” is to scoff at or mock something. Did you mean “cheering”?
*Comma.
The combined force of the leap and the jab instantly shattered it’s throat passage, and as the snarling sharptooth hit the ground and rolled about, choking and sputtering on it’s own blood.
Both “it’s” should be “its”, and “as” should be removed.
Since Tyrus lacked the means to achieve both of these goals on his own, he had arranged for the sharp beak Macaw to collect information about Sky’s whereabouts from Redgar, who had been following the blue wingtail to ensure that he carried out Tyron’s task without error.
“You know its location* sharp beak?” Eybron gloated, “I think… this will prove a very fruitful relationship indeed.”
Seeing as you spell most of the other dinosaurs’ species names as compound words, or with hyphens (“threehorn”, “fast-biter”, etc.), I think you should do the same with “sharpbeak”.
*Comma.
“Of course* of course,” muttered Macaw as he shielded himself desperately.
*Comma.
Holy flamin’ buckets, that’s got to be my longest review of a single chapter in any story yet! :blink:
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Act IV: The Eye of the World
Prologue:
"I can't remember who called it the Black Dawn... but I do remember why," continued Littlefoot to the group of silent, attentive children, "the clouds of smoke were so thick that we couldn't see the bright circle even though it was morning."
"But...where did all the smoke come from," inquired a wide-eyed Xavier, "I thought that when the smoking mountains got angry, they would let it out up into the sky instead?"
"Well this one was different," replied Littlefoot uneasily, "the entire Verdant Valley along with all the longnecks, threehorns, spiketails and everyone else dissapeared... we were the only suriviors."
"So you mean they all died?" asked Wayne.
"Yes little one," sighed Littlefoot, "which is why I would prefer that none of you speak of it outside this place... those were dark and scary times."
Littlefoot paused for a moment, before continuing.
"...but we must also remember too that what is in the past is in the past, and that the best we can do is move on and ensure it does not happen again."
"Now, you all better hurry of to bed before your mothers start ripping me to pieces," Littlefoot chuckled as the group of them relucatantly rose, stretched, and made their way to their respective nests.
"Hah, what a croc," jeered Landar as he swirled overhead, "like a smoking mountain can actually do that."
"I don't know," added Wayne, "Xavier's dad has been a lot of places and done a lot of things... I think he's telling the truth."
"That's right," pushed Xavier, "my dad knows almost as much about everything as Mr. Sky does."
"Oh yeah?" retorted Landar as he landed on the ground in front of them, "well if your dad is so smart, then what's to stop the Smoking Mountain from burning all of us up right now?"
The fourwing pointed far into the distance, where the Smoking Mountain was puffing the usual haze of ashen smoke into the air. Xavier gulped nervously... maybe the Smoking Mountain could do the same thing to them as the Black Mountain did to the Verdant Valley.
...
Xavier had a nightmare that night. He dreamt that he was playing with his friends, and then suddenly he was all alone. The sky turned a devilish red, and started to call out in fear trying to warn the Great Valley. The Smoking Mountain billowed and burned, and released massive cloud of fiery red ash. As he watched, the conflagration shaped itself into a face... an evil wingtail that he had imagined to be Eybron. In a booming voice, it laughed at him.
"Scream little longneck, Scream or you DIE!!"
The longneck didn't scream... instead he ran. Still laughing maniacially, the ash cloud thundered down the mountain after him. As he brushed the trees they seemed to collpase in on him and entangle his feet so he couldn't move. He shut his eyes and felt an extreme heat all over his back as the darkness closed around him.
Xavier woke with a gasp in cold sweat. His back was so hot, he immeadiately rolled over thinking he was on fire. It wasn't until he turned that he realized that it was just the heat from his mom, whom he had been sleeping next to.
Taking a nervous glance at the Smoking Mountain, the young longneck curled up once more and in a minute he was back to sleep again.
...
The following day was quite an eventful one in the Great Valley, as all the children got together to play one massive game of toss-the-seed. It was an idea that Sky had suggested many seasons ago which turned out to be a huge success. The game was a long one and was tied for almost the entire session, only finishing when Landar cheated and flew the seed from one end to the other (it was generally thought the seed was too heavy to carry that far, but the fourwing proved that wrong). Almost all the adults were there to see it, including Littlefoot, Ali, Cera, and Ducky. Spike wandered in at some point too, chomping away at the bushes while the game was going on. Glide was there too, though he just sat on a branch overlooking the game with a callous expression and his wings crossed. Strangely, Sky was absent.
"That was quite the game wasn't it?" commented Xavier with pride, as he had been on Landar's team.
"Yeah until the end," complained Wayne.
"I think Landar cheated," added Kala, who rarely spoke.
"Stuff it spiketail," shot Landar, "we won fair and square, thanks to my awesome skills."
Kala gave him a hard glance, but otherwise simply opted to ignore him.
"It is story-time, it is," stated Aura with excitement.
They all wanted to know how Sky's story would end... provided the blue wingtail was actually there to tell it. It seemed like he had been unusually distracted over the past week, and was adhereing to his responsbilities less and less. The adults didn't seem to mind at all either, like whatever Sky was doing they sympathized with him on some level. Why did Sky have to be so mysterious all the time?
..
Surprisingly, Mr. Sky showed up at the exact time he was supposed to, right when the great circle touched the horizon. He flew in, and did a single loop in the air before landing on his feet. The children all gave sounds of approval, and the blue wingtail bowed.
"Hey Mr. Sky," proclaimed Nincea exictedly, "Daddy and I have been trying to do that, but I've learned it instead of him!"
Sky chuckled.
"Ah you are becoming quite the young flyer Nincea... but the loop will require a lot more practise to master."
"I'll keep doing it until I'm the best, just like you!"
Sky smiled proudly at the praise. Xavier however was a little bit impatient, and pushed into the conversation.
"Mr. Sky, can you tell us what happened after the Black Dawn... how did you survive? what happened to Tyron and Eybron? Did you meet Star again?"
The blue wingtail silenced him with a slight wave of his hand.
"I will get to that Xavier," replied Sky slyly, "but first I have somebody very special to me I would like you all to meet."
With a slight nod of his head, Sky signalled to the trees above. Another smaller wingtail soared down from the hieghts, and landed in front of Sky. He was a light blue colour, slightly less dark then the teacher. The wingtail looked around nervously at all the faces that were staring at him, and he stepped back into Sky's arms.
"I'd like you all to meet my son, Cloud."
The children were in awe... none of them had ever seen a young wingtail before. They all stared at Cloud like he was some sort of spectacle, which only made the wingtail child even more shy. Sky started massaging his shoulders to reassure him.
"Go ahead, introduce yourself," Sky insisted with a proud look on his face.
"Uh... hi," said Cloud half-heartedly.
"Hey Cloud, I'm Xavier," said the young longneck.
"And I'm Wayne," added the Threehorn.
"Landar," added the fourwing, his tone bored like his response was just an afterthought.
The young swimmer stepped forward.
"I am Aura, and this is Kala and Nincea. We are glad to meet you, we are, we are."
Cloud looked a bit puzzled about something.
"But, how come you're all friends even though you're so different?" he asked sincerely.
"Things aren't the same here compared to the Feral Forest Cloud," interjected Sky with a bit of embarassment, "in the Great Valley, all types of land walker live in harmony."
"Oh," replied Cloud, who then shied away even more.
Coming from an environment where there were only wingtails, Cloud had been raised in a place where often other species were hated or cast out as inferior. For all its high intelligence wingtail society was still as supremecist as it had always been.
"So you never told us why Eybron was so mean," implied Wayne, changing the subject.
"I would tell you all," replied Sky, "but I'm afraid I don't really know that much about him... see I spent so little time in the Feral Forest that-"
"I know," interrupted Cloud.
Once more everybody was looking at him, and the light blue wingtail knew he was on shaky ground.
"How would you like to tell us then?" asked Sky warmly.
"Well... that story gets passed around hundreds of times. I think I hear his name spoken every other day. See, apparently he was stolen by a sharpbeak before he even hatched and he ended up hatching inside the flyer's nest..."
Even Landar was listening now.
"...They say he killed the sharpbeak hatchling who broke open his egg to eat him, and was rescued by another lesser flyer before the sharpbeak mother returned. A few months later, he showed up in the Feral Forest. The elders back then covered up his existance because one of them... Tennabaron I think, found out Eybron was his son. They ended up sending him away on some crazy quest, hoping he wouldn't come back. Eventually he did of course, but he had seen things that changed him forever. My friends think that the sharpteeth drove him insane, or something like that."
Sky was impressed... Cloud was coming out to be a really good storyteller just like him.
"Cloud, how would you like to listen to the rest of my story with the rest of the children?" he asked.
"Alright," the light blue wingtail responded with a smile.
Xavier stood up.
"Here, you can sit next to me."
"Thanks," Cloud replied as he sat down.
"Now, I'm going to tell you all about what happened after the Black Dawn," Sky said loudly so everyone could hear, "about our journey to the Eye of the World..."
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First step spell checking time.
corrections
"But...where did all the smoke come from?" inquired a wide-eyed Xavier. "I thought that when the smoking mountains got angry, they would let it out up into the sky instead?"
"Well this one was different," replied Littlefoot uneasily. "Thehe entire Verdant Valley along with all the longnecks, threehorns, spiketails and everyone else disappeared... we were the only survivors."
"Yes little one," sighed Littlefoot. "Which is why I would prefer that none of you speak of it outside this place... those were dark and scary times."
Littlefoot paused for a moment [delete comma] before continuing.
"Hah, what [delete "a"] crock!" jeered Landar as he swirled overhead. "Like a smoking mountain can actually do that."
Exclamation point works better.
"I don't know," added Wayne, "Xavier's dad has been a lot of places and done a lot of things... I think he's telling the truth."
"Replied" may be a better choice instead of "added"
"Oh yeah?" retorted Landar as he landed on the ground in front of them, "[Delete "well"] If your dad is so smart, then what's to stop the Smoking Mountain from burning all of us up right now?"
Xavier had a nightmare that night. He dreamt that he was playing with his friends, and then suddenly he was all alone. The sky turned a devilish red, and started to call out in fear trying to warn the Great Valley. The Smoking Mountain billowed and burned, and released massive cloud of fiery red ash. As he watched, the conflagration shaped itself into a face... an evil wingtail that he had imagined to be Eybron. In a booming voice, it laughed at him.
Misplaced modifier makes it sound like the sky is calling out in fear.
The longneck didn't scream... instead he ran. Still laughing maniacially, the ash cloud thundered down the mountain after him. As he brushed the trees they seemed to collapse in on him and entangle his feet so he couldn't move. He shut his eyes and felt an extreme heat all over his back as the darkness closed around him.
"I think Landar cheated," added Kala, who rarely spoke.
"Stuff it spiketail," *shot Landar* . "W e won fair and square, thanks to my awesome skills."
*This would be better reworded as "Landar shot back"*
It seemed like he had been unusually distracted over the past week, and was adhering to his responsibilities less and less. The adults didn't seem to mind at all either; [delete "like"] whatever Sky was doing they sympathized with him on some level.
Another smaller wingtail soared down from the heights ,
For all its *high intelligence* wingtail society was still as **supremecist** as it had always been.
*advancements* would work better in that sentence.
**speciesist or biased** would work better
I am getting tired so that is all I can find for now.
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I did this last chapter without Microsoft word or spell checker, so naturally it's going to have more mistakes then usual.
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Oh wow, another chapter already. :)
It's good to read more of Eybrons past. :yes
I have to say, I'm really glad to read more about the children of the gang. :^.^:
The great toss-the-seed game was a nice addition, but I wonder if Petrie and Ruby were there too.
Speaking of children, I thought Sky would introduce Star to them at first. Now that was something I did not expect (at least not this early :p).
Aww, Sky has a son... :wub
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Oh, yes! The prologue for Act IV! :D
...They say he killed the sharpbeak hatchling who broke open his egg to eat him, and was rescued by another lesser flyer before the sharpbeak mother returned.
Either that story's a little exaggerated, or Eybron was a darned tough wingtail from the start! :blink:
Poor Cloud. He must have had an awfully sheltered life, if he’s never even interacted with other species before. And Sky might want to have a word with him about political correctness, if he refers to non-wingtail flyers as “lesser flyers”. :p
Hey, Sky (the GOF Sky, I mean :P:), have you ever drawn a wingtail kid before? I’d love to see what Cloud would look like. ;)
Okeedokee...corrections:
"But...where did all the smoke come from?" inquired a wide-eyed Xavier. "I thought that when the smoking mountains got angry, they would let it out up into the sky instead?"
Also, the question mark at the end of that sentence should be a period.
"Well* this one was different," replied Littlefoot uneasily. "The entire Verdant Valley* along with all the longnecks, threehorns, spiketails and everyone else disappeared... we were the only survivors."
*Commas.
"Now, you all better hurry of to bed before your mothers start ripping me to pieces," Littlefoot chuckled as the group of them relucatantly rose, stretched, and made their way to their respective nests.
Should be “off” and “reluctantly, respectively”.
"Hah, what [delete "a"] crock!" jeered Landar as he swirled overhead. "Like a smoking mountain can actually do that."
A correction of a correction: while Serris is right about “crock” being misspelled, “a”, should stay in the sentence.
Xavier woke with a gasp in * cold sweat.
*Insert “a”.
The game was a long one and was tied for almost the entire session, only finishing when Landar cheated and flew the seed from one end to the other (it was generally thought * the seed was too heavy to carry that far, but the fourwing proved that wrong).
*Insert “that”.
It seemed like he had been unusually distracted over the past week, and was adhering to his responsibilities less and less. The adults didn't seem to mind at all either; [delete "like"] whatever Sky was doing* they sympathized with him on some level.
*If you change the sentence to this, a comma should be inserted here.
"Things aren't the same here compared to the Feral Forest* Cloud," interjected Sky with a bit of embarassment, "in the Great Valley, all types of land walker live in harmony."
I think this would sound less awkward if the words were “are different here from” or “aren’t the same here as in”. Also, do you usually spell “landwalker” with a space in the middle?
*Comma.
For all its *high intelligence** wingtail society was still as **supremecist** as it had always been.
*advancements* would work better in that sentence.
**speciesist or biased** would work better
I see nothing wrong with “supremacist” myself, but the word is misspelled (the second 'e' should be an 'a').
*Comma.
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I have. :) But it's really old: Sky Hatchling (http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/91/lbtskyhatchling.jpg)
But I may sketch a new one (and maybe Caustizer wants a family pic for Act IV :^.^: who knows...)
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Prologues are always out pretty fast, but also they are short and laden with spelling mistakes ;) .
I'm actually not impressed with this bit, since I had planned on characterizing Cloud a bit more since you won't hear too much more about him until Sky is done his story (whenever that might be).
Originally, I was going to have more lines of dialogue in Eybron's Story as told by Cloud, but I wanted to publish it before exams hit and I got too busy. There was a part I had planned on where the children reacted to each part of the tale and asked important questions, but ultimately I didn't have time to do it.
I'm still really interested in your interpretation of Eybron Sky, and I hope that inbetween studying you can find the time to make a sketch or two :smile. I'm not hoping for miracles here, just interested in what you think he looks like.
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No news on the first part of Act IV (assume for it to come after this week of exams) but I have placed all of Sky's pictures for the first three acts on the very first tread so that they are properly displayed for anyone who first reads my story.
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Been very busy with exams and all, but I'm glad it's finally over so I can concentrate on other things now... like Far Away Home! :smile
I have the skeleton of a chapter at the moment, and I know what is going to happen its just a matter of typing it into being. That particular point is one that is causing the delay at the moment because I am so busy preparing for summer. No rest for the weary I suppose.
EDIT: Looks like it's going to be a Ruby&Glide/Eybron chapter, but that could change if it doesn't fit. :angel
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Part I: Awakening
Ruby felt a flowing, pleasant warmth covering her entire body. The water was passing around her like she was a mere rock in the ocean, and making its way down to someplace else in a timely, uninterrupted fashion. It reminded her almost of the mud baths back home in the Great Valley, where it was so relaxing one could spend all day there without a care in the world. With a bit of an effort the fastrunner opened her eyes, unsure of what she expected to see. The result was a deluge of bright sparkling lights, the likes of which she had never seen before. Snapping back to life, she rose from where she had been laying and brushed back her frill, which was soaking wet.
“Wha… where am I?” she said out loud as she gathered her thoughts and observed the scene around her.
This place was probably the most unique and awe inspiring sights ever conceived in the past world, and it was a direct result of the tailings of the Whirlpool. The cavern was massive but well lit, and sparkled with an almost tropical glow that made it seem like they had dropped into a natural paradise. The air, as well as the water in the cave-wide pool was warm and pleasing. In the middle of the pool in which Ruby rested sat a large column of descending water, which rotated and churned as it fell from the roof into the hot spring pool. Apparently, the disaster that was the Whirlpool had a happy ending after all, as it ended up in this cave of wonders. Ruby looked around in awe for a few moments, before rising slowly to her feet. Droplets of water trickled off her feathers and her face and dripped into the shallow pool that she had been formerly lying in.
“Up already… it’s about time,” mocked Glide snidely from a nearby shoreline.
“Hey,” called out Ruby with a smile as she turned, “Glide… you’re okay!”
“Yeah,” muttered Glide as he shook out his wings, peppering the nearby rocks and walls with droplets, “no thanks to any of you hatchlings… If I hadn’t saved your skin I would still be up on the surface with the rest of the wingtails.”
“But…where is everyone else?” asked Ruby with concern.
“Over here drying ourselves out of this downright nasty stuff,” commented Gentry from a different side of the pool as he started clearing off himself and Chomper of greenish blue algae that had covered their skin from being in the pool.
“I’m glad you’re okay Ruby,” said Chomper as he looked up eagerly as Ruby waded to shore, “I was afraid you might not make it through the turning water.”
Ruby stepped onto the hard gravel shore, and hugged Chomper once more as he came to greet her.
“I’m glad you’re okay too,” replied Ruby with genuine care.
Ruby had over the past couple months become a very important figure for Chomper, and in some ways he almost regarded her as a sister that he never had. There was no way to say how glad he was that she survived the Whirlpool, as it had been quite scary even for him as a sharptooth.
“What about Cera,” commented Ruby as her and Chomper separated, “and Thylo… are they both okay?”
“Hah,” interjected Glide as he crossed the water with a swift flap of his mostly dry wings, “those two are so reckless and headstrong they put me to shame.”
Ruby, Chomper, and even Gentry all looked up at Glide in surprise, who had just admitted for the first time that he might be flawed.
“Really… I would never have guessed,” commented Gentry smugly.
“Hey, shut up before I decide to pulp you,” reconciled Glide in embarrassment, but it was only half serious and was silly enough to cause Chomper and Ruby to giggle.
Glide crossed his arms in displeasure.
“If you’re done egg-stealer… could you please tell them where the others went before you all drive me off the deep end?”
Gentry pulled himself together after a moment.
“The threehorn and the annoying one left a while ago… not all sure where they went but they –”
“We’re back!” declared Cera triumphantly as she entered the cave and the conversation, “and I think we have found a way out… come on!”
The gang took Cera’s lead, and proceeded after her and Thylo into the caverns ahead. With the water gushing in from above and flowing out at the other side of the cave at a torrential pace, it was the only logical option.
Chomper was getting really sick of all this dark, dank caves. The sharptooth was eager to get back outside and breathe the fresh air again, so long had all of them been underground. On top of this he was hungry too, as his growling stomach constantly saw fit to remind him. It was so much that it was all he could think about, even occasionally getting a primal urge to take a snap at the one in front of him who happened to be Ruby. Trying to take his mind off it, he focused on something else.
“So what do wingtails eat?” asked Chomper over his shoulder, hoping Glide would answer.
“Anything,” responded the black wingtail swiftly.
There was a bit of an edge to his voice that clued Chomper in that he must be hungry as well.
“Okay… but if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?”
“Water swimmers,” said Glide as he licked his lips, “a few of the brown ones would make my day.”
“Hey I remember having those,” piped up Chomper, “back when me and Ruby first met.”
Glide raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
“The runner?”
“Yep,” answered Chomper with a smile.
“Hmm,” the wingtail mumbled as if he was just registering the fact that they all had names.
“Wait a minute, you don’t know who everyone is… we haven’t introduced ourselves,” mentioned the little sharptooth, “I’m Chomper, and the threehorn up front is Cera.”
“Cera,” repeated Glide with a snort, “and the other two?”
“Uh…”
Poor Chomper couldn’t remember the names of their new friends. With so much that had happened over the past few days, it had slipped to the back of his mind.
“Gentry at your service mate,” said the egg-stealer as the single-file group rounded a corner, “the annoying one is Thylo.”
Thylo turned around in anger.
“Hey you’re annoying too! With your funny voice and funny colour and we never know what you’re saying half the time and you’re really mean all of a sudden and I don’t feel like arguing because I’m hungry and you…”
Cera sighed and rolled her eyes, shooting an urgent glance at Ruby hoping she would find a way to end the argument. Unfortunately, the fastrunner just waved in their direction dismissively… sometimes it was best to let these things solve themselves.
In truth Ruby’s mind was else ware, and she was thinking about far more serious things then a small argument. She thought about that evil wingtail, and how he had treated her so cruel the day before. He was mean and heartless, and thanks to her help he wiped an entire valley off the face of the earth. She knew it wasn’t her fault, and yet she couldn’t help but blame herself for what happened. And all those wingtails… they looked at her like she was vermin and she didn’t understand why. All of them except that one… Ruby didn’t know her name but that wingtail was so kind, she would never forget that.
…
After almost an hour in the complete dark the group of them encountered a cliff-face which led directly down into another underground pool. The runoff from the Abyss Lake above flowed into the subterranean basin to be filtered before finally leaving to flow down the Farwalker Gorge and eventually into the ocean. There were tons of protruding rocks in the pool revealing that apart from the volumes of water passing through it was still shallow like the last one. These ended up catching Chomper’s eye.
“Is it just me, or are those rocks down there moving?” mentioned the sharptooth in bewilderment.
Everyone else turned towards the source and looked closely over the edge, trying to make out the sight in the partial darkness. Sure enough, the rocks were moving… at least some of them were. There were living creatures down there.
“Well, you don’t see that every day,” commented Cera in disbelief.
Glide was suspicious, and sniffed the air testingly.
“Shell swimmers,” the black wingtail stated with a slight bit of contempt.
“Wow…they’re so pretty!” said Thylo in wonder as she gazed down at the sea turtles milling about their business.
Gentry snorted.
“Until one snaps at your toes for his next meal… nasty creatures they are.”
Strangely, that thought only made Thylo admire them even more.
The reality was that this cave was known by the Sea Turtles as Spring Cove, and it was where they would come to nest every year following the cold times. They were migrating creatures by nature and seldom stayed in one place for long, continuing on their cycle from the Dawn Valley up the coast past the Mysterious Island and up the river into Spring Cove for the breeding season. When summer came around, they would depart once more and set out for the warm seas where they belonged.
“They could be friendly,” suggested Ruby, “you would never know until you know from asking them.”
Cera silently debated on what to do next… to ignore them and carry on or to stop and ask for directions out of this blasted cave.
“What would Littlefoot do?” thought Cera to herself.
After a moment of thought, Cera concluded that if anything, he would probably ask for the help just to make a new friend…
“Okay,” concluded Cera, “lets see if they know a way out of this cave… what’s the worst that can happen?”
“We get eaten…” mumbled Gentry, but nobody was close enough to hear it.
Before they reached the bottom of the path, Ruby jumped ahead and blocked the path bringing them all to a halt. She looked a little bit worried.
“I don’t know how to say this so it is said right, but Chomper I think you and umm…”
The black wingtail hadn’t introduced himself yet, so Ruby didn’t know his name.
“Glide,” muttered the black wingtail in annoyance, driven to an edge by the blisters on his feet. Being a creature of the air, even one with his robust physique would struggle with having to spend so much time walking.
“Chomper, you and Glide should stay here. We don’t want to scare them away.”
The young sharptooth looked disheartened, but agreed.
“Alright… just wave when you want us to come out.”
Without another word, Ruby and Cera, Thylo, and Gentry all rounded the bend to were the sea turtles had gathered.
“Hmm, some friends you have sharptooth,” commented Glide with displeasure as he crossed his arms, “Bah… wingtail kids would never be allowed to deal with racially sensitive matters like this in the Feral Forest. Where are your parents?”
It was a rhetorical question for sure, since Chomper knew Glide had heard all about his parental situation back in the prison cave. Now it was best to just sit back and wait, and hope for the best.
…
All eyes turned to the group of young dinosaurs as Ruby, Cera, Thylo and Gentry revealed themselves to the gathered sea turtles. Most of them had been eating, talking with one another, playing, or even getting some sleep on a land that was thankfully free of natural predators. There was at least a hundred hard-shells watching the group with mixed looks of either concern or curiosity. Ruby, who had some experience being the centre of attention, decide to speak first.
“Hi,” she said nervously with a friendly wave, silently remembering the last time she was in the company of potentially dangerous creatures, “Me and my friends are lost, and we were hoping that you could help us become not lost anymore.”
There was a sea of whispers amongst the cavern. After what seemed like a minute, one of the older turtles spoke out.
“Tell us strangers, how is it that you have come down upon us?”
“Well,” answered Cera, “we were pulled down here by the angry water and it somehow dropped us in this cave. Listen, we are really tired and hungry and we just want to go home… do you know the way out?”
Again, there were more muddled whispers as the turtles discussed the matter amongst themselves. Many of them seemed sympathetic, demonstrated by their frequent glances in the landwalkers’ direction.
“Very well,” answered the old one, “one of our own can guide you to the surface, provided there is one who is willing.”
“Kepsla can do it,” suggested another male from the other side of the cavern, “my son knows of the landwalkers and would be more then happy to assist.”
Kepsla groaned as his dad volunteered him for the unsavoury task. Surely though, he had a good reason for sending him so the turtle obeyed.
“Yes dad.”
The shell swimmer slipped into the water, and swam underneath coming up right next to Ruby and clamouring onto the shore. Nearby, Thylo had got into a bit of a splashing game with group of young turtles who looked nearly as happy to have found a new friend as the spiketail did. It was distracted, and Gentry ended up getting splashed mutlitple times by accident. He wasn’t too happy about it either. As the business concluded, the gathered sea-turtles went back to their usual business and everything became much less awkward for the gang.
“Hi, I’m Kepsla,” said the young turtle, “follow me and I can lead you out.”
“Thank you Kepsla,” replied Ruby with a smile, before turning back towards the way they had came, “Chomper, Glide… it’s okay you can come out now!”
Unfortunately, the fastrunner didn’t even think about what was going to happen next, and as Glide and Chomper stepped into a beam of light from the cracks in the ceiling all hell broke loose.
“WINGTAIL!!!” shouted one of the turtles in alarm, before sucking back into his shell.
All around the room shell swimmers rapidly retreated into their shells, slipped into the water, or dove under the surface in panic. Thylo’s new friends squeaked in fear and dove under the water to meet their parents. Soon the entire place was silent, save for the spiketail’s giggling.
“Ha-ha, scaredy eggs scaredy eggs!” she taunted light heartedly.
Ruby’s mouth had opened in mid sentence, and now remained open in surprise. She held a finger to her chin in puzzlement and concern.
“Oops.”
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The fight at the Sonicron had inflicted a heavy toll on the wingtails of the Feral Forest, and everywhere one looked they could see it. As the day passed and the night came on the trees were full of cries of grief and anger. Among the dead were mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers. Like almost all birds wingtails had a song, but it was only during times of great emotional outpouring that they actually did sing. The wingtail’s song ringed through the forest, so much that even the sharpteeth prowling the woods below noticed it and listened.
Cinceel and the two remaining elders were at the Elders’ tending to their wounds, along with a fair number of others who were injured. The place had become something like a hospital, with all those who knew about health and aid gathered in a single location. It was busy, but the three of them had managed to reserve a private corner as was their right as councillors.
“What are we to do Cinceel,” asked Theanol the green wingtail with concern, “Tenebron and the others are lost, and the forest floor is overrun with sharpteeth.”
The female elder ignored him for a moment, tending to other matters.
“That’s enough dear… I’m fine,” she said quietly to her daughter, who had been busy licking the bloody gash on her mother’s side.
As her daughter rubbed her nose briefly in affection and departed, the venomous elder addressed her compatriot’s question.
“We stand at a crossroads Theanol,” she said with a brief rustle of her wings, “now more then ever we need a strong leader to watch over us during these trying times.”
“Who do you have in mind?” asked the green wingtail expectantly, hoping he was the one.
Cinceel sighed… this was not an easy choice to make. She turned towards a guard who had been watching them from a branch away.
“Find Eybron,” she commanded, “tell him he is needed in the Elders’ Tree at once.”
“As you wish,” the dark blue female replied, and she left to obey.
Theanol scowled his displeasure at the thought.
“I don’t like this at all… Eybron is unstable and I personally think that he is also –”
“We don’t have a choice Theanol,” interrupted Cinceel with authority, “he knows the most about our new enemy – from experience – and for all his flaws he is working for the best of our people.”
Having no alternative, Theanol nodded his head slightly in agreement.
He had a bad feeling that this decision was not going to end well… for any of them.
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Prologue:
I like how you opened it up in the "present" with the "story time" element.
I absolutely LOVE this part:
The fourwing pointed far into the distance, where the Smoking Mountain was puffing the usual haze of ashen smoke into the air. Xavier gulped nervously... maybe the Smoking Mountain could do the same thing to them as the Black Mountain did to the Verdant Valley.
...
Xavier had a nightmare that night. He dreamt that he was playing with his friends, and then suddenly he was all alone. The sky turned a devilish red, and started to call out in fear trying to warn the Great Valley. The Smoking Mountain billowed and burned, and released massive cloud of fiery red ash. As he watched, the conflagration shaped itself into a face... an evil wingtail that he had imagined to be Eybron. In a booming voice, it laughed at him.
The transition from reality to nightmare was very well done.
The game of toss-the-seed added an interesting glimpse into the lives of the children and it made the chapter a little more varied.
The ending is pretty good and gives a nice transition to the "core" of the story.
Part I: Awakening
I like the imagery in the first paragraph. It adds an element of contrast; the relaxing atmosphere of the mud pools in the Great Valley contrasting with the dangerous atmosphere of being in an unknown area.
Admittedly, I found this part a little weird:
An image of Littlefoot popped up in her mind, instructing her on what to do next.
“You’re asking for help?” the longneck said cynically, “what kind of leader are you anyway?”
I have to admit, Ruby's "diplomatic incident" with the turtles added an element of humor to an otherwise dark chapter.
I like the ending of this chapter. I have a feeling that Eybron will make a bad situation even worse.
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Admittedly, I found this part a little weird:
An image of Littlefoot popped up in her mind, instructing her on what to do next.
“You’re asking for help?” the longneck said cynically, “what kind of leader are you anyway?”
I did as well... so I have removed it. :angel
Sometimes I get carried away when I write these up and don't structure my ideas properly.
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Sweet! A new chapter is up! :D
Hmm... Glide is softening a bit in this one and it seems the turtles are afraid of wingtails too...uh..wait, do wingtails eat turtles in your story?
And speaking of turtles, it's nice to see Kepsla again! :DD
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Do wingtails eat turtles in your story?
Wingtails eat anything :lol
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Sorry about the delay in reviewing this chapter. :oops I had some schoolwork that I urgently needed to complete, so I didn’t even have time to read this chapter until tonight. On the plus side, it gave me motivation to get the work done. :p
Didn’t Glide and Star’s parents die from being sucked into the Whirlpool? (Evidently they weren’t as lucky as the gang.) If so, maybe Glide should show some kind of (*struggles to find the right word, fails* :bang) emotion for having gone through the same experience and lived.
So glad to see a cameo by Kepsla! :DD (As I was reading the part where the shell swimmers are first introduced, I was thinking, “Ohh, I hope Kepsla shows up!”) I don’t suppose he recognizes Ruby? (He was, after all, the one who found her after she was washed down the river to the Dawn Valley in Rise of Storm Tide.)
I like it that Cera’s taking on a leaderly role of initiative and diplomacy. It shows character development on her part, and it’s a refreshing change from all the complaining and smart-alecky attempts to arouse other characters’ irritation that she’s been doing previously. :yes
I also felt a peculiar, unprecedented feeling of sympathy for Cinceel in the last part of this chapter. She’s previously come off as acid-tongued, callous, officious and generally unlikeable; here she has a much more tender (if brief) moment with her daughter, and also seems much more level-headed and reasonable, even if proposing Eybron as the wingtails’ new leader is a risky move whose outcome will probably prove consistent with Theanol’s intuition (though I’m guessing that none of the elders, not even Cinceel, are aware of just how awful Eybron really is).
By the way, about how many elders were there to begin with (before the sharptooth incident)?
Of course, I’m also wondering what’s going on with Sky, Ali, Petrie, Spike, Ducky, and Littlefoot, but I suppose we’ll check in with them in the next chapter, eh? I can’t wait! :smile
Nitpicking time! :p
Snapping back to life, she rose from where she had been laying and brushed back her frill, which was soaking wet.
Is Does “frill” refer to the crest on Ruby’s forehead, or the feathers behind it? Her crest is bony (with a possible covering of keratin), so it’s not the kind of thing that could be brushed back (unless she was simply brushing her hand over it) or soaked in the manner of hair (“dripping wet”, maybe), and if you were talking about the feathers on her head, you might as well use that description (or substitute “feathers” for “plumes”, if you prefer) to avoid confusion, since I think you already called her crest a “frill” in previous chapters.
This place was probably * the most unique and awe inspiring sights ever conceived in the past world, and it was a direct result of the tailings of the Whirlpool.
Did you mean to say “one of the most...”? If so, you should insert those words here.*
Also, while I find the first part of the sentence to be very poetic, it’s a little strange sounding. As I understand it, “the past world” refers to the world above, outside the whirlpool, and the cave is so spectacular that it would be difficult to envision it if you had never seen it (like a vision of the afterlife or something). You might want to consider tweaking this sentence a little, specifically the “ever conceived” bit (to something like, “that could have ever been conceived”, “conceivable to those [in the past world]”, or simply “conceivable”).
Finally, this is something of a pedantic technicality, but “unique” means “one of a kind”; there are no degrees of uniqueness, so formally, you cannot call something “most unique”.
The cavern was massive but well lit, and sparkled with an almost tropical glow that made it seem like they had dropped into a natural paradise.
The air, as well as the water in the cave-wide pool was warm and pleasing.
I think this comma should be removed, or otherwise an additional one should be added after “water” (which I personally think would slow down the sentence more).
Ruby had* over the past couple ** months* become a very important figure for Chomper, and in some ways he almost regarded her as a sister that he *** never had.
*Commas here.
**While people often leave it out in everyday spoken usage of this phrase, formally there should be an “of” here.
***I’m pretty sure you need a ”had” here.
“What about Cera,” commented Ruby as her and Chomper separated, “and Thylo… are they both okay?”
The comma should be a question mark, and “her” should be “she”. Also, I think it would make more sense for “commented” to be “asked”.
Chomper was getting really sick of all this dark, dank caves.
Should be “these”.
In truth Ruby’s mind was else ware, and she was thinking about far more serious things then a small argument. She thought about that evil wingtail, and how he had treated her so cruel the day before. He was mean and heartless, and thanks to her help he * wiped an entire valley off the face of the earth. She knew it wasn’t her fault, and yet she couldn’t help but blame herself for what * happened. And all those wingtails… they * looked at her like she was vermin and she didn’t understand why.
”Else ware” should be “elsewhere”, “then” should be “than”, and “cruel” should be “cruelly”.
*Insert “had”.
“Okay,” concluded Cera, “lets see if they know a way out of this cave… what’s the worst that can happen?”
Should be “let’s”, with an apostrophe.
“Hmm, some friends you have* sharptooth,” commented Glide with displeasure as he crossed his arms,
*Comma.
There was at least a hundred hard-shells watching the group with mixed looks of either concern or curiosity. Ruby, who had some experience being the centre of attention, decided to speak first.
”Was” should be “were”, and “decide” should be “decided”. Also, just out of curiosity, did you deliberately call them “hard-shells” here instead of “shell swimmers”? It seems to me that the former could be a term for turtles in general, while the latter is specific to sea turtles. If this is what you had in mind, perhaps you could expand this part of the sentence to “of the (aquatic/flippered/swimming) hard-shells”, to imply the relationship of the two terms and show that it is not simply an example of inconsistent or alternative terminology, though this is in no way necessary.
Nearby, Thylo had got into a bit of a splashing game with group of young turtles* who looked nearly as happy to have found a new friend as the spiketail did. It was distracted, and Gentry ended up getting splashed mutlitple times by accident.
I’m a little unclear on the proper conjugation of “got”, since it is a word that my writing teachers always discouraged me from using, but I think in this instance it should be “gotten”. Also, “It was distracted” is confusing, as it’s not clear who or what “it” refers to, and why you are using “distracted”. Did you mean to say, “She was distracted” (referring to Thylo), or, “It was distracting” (referring to the game, for the other characters), or something else? (The first possiblity makes the most sense to me.) And “multiple” has a typo.
*Comma.
Surely* though, he had a good reason for sending him* so the turtle obeyed.
*I would write this sentence with commas in these places, but that might be just me.
As the business concluded, the gathered sea-turtles went back to their usual business and everything became much less awkward for the gang.
You use “business” twice here. I would suggest changing the first usage to “meeting”, “exchange”, “conversation”, or something of the like. Also, this is just an opinion, but seeing as you have already established the shell swimmers to be sea turtles, I think you might as well continue to refer to them by their LBT name, rather than alternating between terms.
“Ha-ha, scaredy eggs* scaredy eggs!” she taunted light heartedly.
*Comma.
The wingtail’s song ringed through the forest, so much that even the sharpteeth prowling the woods below noticed it and listened.
The apostrophe in ”wingtail’s” should be after the ës’, and I’m pretty sure “ringed” should be “rang”.
Cinceel and the two remaining elders were at the Elders’ tending to their wounds, along with a fair number of others who were injured.
The Elders’ what? :confused I think something’s missing here.
“What are we to do* Cinceel,” asked Theanol* the green wingtail* with concern, “Tenebron and the others are lost, and the forest floor is overrun with sharpteeth.”
This comma should be a question mark.
*Commas.
“We stand at a crossroads* Theanol,” she said with a brief rustle of her wings, “now more then ever we need a strong leader to watch over us during these trying times.”
“We don’t have a choice* Theanol,” interrupted Cinceel with authority, “he knows the most about our new enemy – from experience – and for all his flaws he is working for the best of our people.”
In the first quote, ”now” should probably be capitalized.
*Commas.
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Didn’t Glide and Star’s parents die from being sucked into the Whirlpool? (Evidently they weren’t as lucky as the gang.) If so, maybe Glide should show some kind of (*struggles to find the right word, fails* :bang) emotion for having gone through the same experience and lived.
I hadn't forgot about this, but I wanted to cut down on the banter in this chapter in order to keep the plot moving forward. Part of Glide's character is that he does not brood, but rather silently observes the moment watching for threats. Much of the cynicism he uses is a shield to hide his true feelings, which up until this point has only really been broken once (when he first met the gang in he bottom of the cave). Glide is very much like a 'bodyguard' in the sense that when he is tasked to protect someone (like Star from his uncle, or the gang from his sister) he takes it very seriously.
So glad to see a cameo by Kepsla! :DD (As I was reading the part where the shell swimmers are first introduced, I was thinking, “Ohh, I hope Kepsla shows up!”) I don’t suppose he recognizes Ruby? (He was, after all, the one who found her after she was washed down the river to the Dawn Valley in Rise of Storm Tide.)
Kepsla has not yet had a chance to speak to the gang, so you'll have to wait to find out :angel
I also felt a peculiar, unprecedented feeling of sympathy for Cinceel in the last part of this chapter. She’s previously come off as acid-tongued, callous, officious and generally unlikeable; here she has a much more tender (if brief) moment with her daughter, and also seems much more level-headed and reasonable, even if proposing Eybron as the wingtails’ new leader is a risky move whose outcome will probably prove consistent with Theanol’s intuition (though I’m guessing that none of the elders, not even Cinceel, are aware of just how awful Eybron really is).
Cinceel has switched roles now from becoming the main opposition to suddenly being the one in power. It was a shocking change for her, as she really enjoyed argueing and getting her opinion across but she didn't necessarily want any of the others dead.
Also, did you notice that Theanol is the same wingtail that did the FAH interviews?
-
Didn’t Glide and Star’s parents die from being sucked into the Whirlpool? (Evidently they weren’t as lucky as the gang.) If so, maybe Glide should show some kind of (*struggles to find the right word, fails* :bang) emotion for having gone through the same experience and lived.
I hadn't forgot about this, but I wanted to cut down on the banter in this chapter in order to keep the plot moving forward. Part of Glide's character is that he does not brood, but rather silently observes the moment watching for threats. Much of the cynicism he uses is a shield to hide his true feelings, which up until this point has only really been broken once (when he first met the gang in he bottom of the cave). Glide is very much like a 'bodyguard' in the sense that when he is tasked to protect someone (like Star from his uncle, or the gang from his sister) he takes it very seriously.
Well, not so much an open expression of emotion (i.e., one that is apparent to his companions), but maybe a short foray into his thoughts, like you do fairly often in this story to show the perspective of a certain character without any dialogue.
Also, did you notice that Theanol is the same wingtail that did the FAH interviews?
I thought the name sounded familiar, but I completely forgot that it was the name of the FAH interviewer. :blink:
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Just an update on Far Away Home.
There is so much I want to put into the story, as you all could see when I split the second act into two parts. It could easily become five acts with all the plans I have, but alas I mean to finish this fan fic by the end of the summer so I must keep on track and not go shoving in unnecessary material.
Act IV parts will most likely be longer then their previous counterparts, but as a consiquence will take longer to make. Part II is as of now almost half done. There are at least three seperate pieces I need to put together into a single chapter, which has greatly increased its length and content.
In all likelyhood, it will be out around mid-next week but you never know... I could be inspired to finish it sooner :lol
Without spoiling anything... you can all look forward to learning a bit more about the relationship between Prince Tyrus and Eybron at some point, and why such hated enemies might have reason to collaberate.
Caustizer. :angel
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Surprise! The chapter is ready early, as I had some spare time.
Caustizer
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Part II: The Good and the Bad
Prince Tyrus was in a bad mood... not that he ever wasn't. It seemed like more and more these days events were conspiring against him, and that there was some other mysterious force blocking him from achieving his ambitions. As usual, the sharptooth took out his frustrations on his helpless prey - this time opting to break the neck of the swimmer he had caught and watch it bleed to death while he stood fuming in his thoughts. As the swimmer tossed and turned about, bellowing in fear and pain as much as it could, Tyrus noted the strange satisfaction it gave him to torture such inferior animals. It was his right to take life whenever and wherever he chose, and this pathetic empire of his father's creation went against that fact of nature. Why should he rely on the works of 'trained' hunters and the scavengers who killed the weekly levy of each valley in Tyron's control when he was perfectly capable of feeding himself, without the need for others? He was young, strong, and ready to take on any stubborn beast that got in his way... but recently that had only been his cowardly uncle Tharon, and through him his father. Someday, he made up his mind, he was going to kill them both and take over the empire for himself... and when he did he would purge all the weaklings that had been picking off the great corpse. Yes, if he was in charge everything would be different.
The sharptooth prince was hunting in the Coidal Springs, finding the locale to be both desirable for hunting unsuspecting dinosaurs as well as being highly unsettling to his temper. Geysers and hot pools lurked everywhere, and although he had been lucky enough to pluck the now dying swimmer from a plot of sinking sand the next victim could very well be him. Not only that, but the old burns on his face were starting to scar and every time one of the strange fountains burst he felt a fresh pang of anger and bloodlust. Finally, he tired of the swimmer's moans and executed it swiftly with a slash to the already broken neck. Within moments he begun to consume his prey and sate his hunger.
Very recently Tharon and his pack, along with Tyrus who had chosen to follow from a distance in his own fashion, had been ordered to move out to the Feral Forest under the Tyrant King's command. Apparently, the wingtails were about to become a serious problem for the sharptooth and his domain and they needed to be dealt with quickly and brutally. Tyrus had, through the royal grape vine, heard that the vile birds actually had some sort of 'weapon' apart from their teeth and claws that his father was worried about. This had caught the prince's interest very keenly, and nearly four nights ago he had a meeting with a wingtail almost as vicious as himself, and the encounter had been anything but jolly...
...
Tharon and his pack of nearly forty lesser sharpteeth had nearly finished their scouting of the Feral Forest, and were accessing its viability as one of Tyron's new domains. From a sharptooth perspective 'assessing' meant to look around for prey that could be bullied into meek surrender, which certainly wasn't the case here. The forest was almost completely dominated by the wingtails – massive flyers that could challenge a fast biter one on one – and they lived up in the trees far out of reach of any conventional attack. Not only that but they were quite intelligent and the field scouts were reporting that they themselves were being watched by a specific group of wingtails, which seemed to be based on top of a hill in the upper part of the forest. Any attempts to enter this place were met by shocking force, and even the preternaturally strong Stalkers had to humiliatingly run for their lives.
The Feral Forest was a puzzle unlike anything had Tharon had ever faced before, so he opted on the side of caution and instructed those under him to watch and wait, and to prey on any wingtails they could while they waited for a vulnerability to exploit. Tyrus had grown tired of the senseless siege, and trekked down to the lake to get a drink. Nobody dared follow him, as the last fastbiter Tharon had assigned to do so had met a bloody, violent death on the end of the prince's clawed foot.
"One would question your loyalty and devotion to the cause," commented the annoying sharpbeak Macaw as he swirled overhead, just out of reach of Tyrus' jaws.
"You mock me?" snarled Tyrus with more then a hint of rage.
"Of course not my prince," the flyer corrected slyly, "but one of any intelligence would see that you don't approve of your father's demands."
Tyrus growled in displeasure as he continued to make his way down to the Abyss Lake.
"Possibly, but what's it to you hatchling slasher?"
Macaw cringed at the insult. Sharpbeaks were sometimes called 'hatchling slashers' to reflect the fact that their ideal prey was eggs and small babies. They were almost universally hated for this, and apart from the few like him that served Tyron they were outcasts.
"Let's just say that whatever you are planning young prince, you can count on my assistance."
Tyrus flicked his nostrils in surprise. He could see what was going on here.
"Well, when you go back to my father and tell him everything you hear you can tell him to execute and consume every last one of you sharpbeaks for your deception."
"No," Macaw squawked in fear, "I trying to get in favor with the next in line for the throne, which is you. I am thinking about my future as well as your own."
Tyrus stopped walking and turned to face the sharpbeak.
"You know something I don't?" the prince inquired, but it was more of a 'tell me or else' statement.
"Your father is sick my prince... he is dying."
The sharptooth prince experienced a burst of excitement from the news... a feeling he hadn't felt for a long time. Perhaps his time as a servant was finally nearing its end.
"Wingtails," squawked Macaw in alarm, "on the lake!"
Tyrus put the thought aside momentarily and turned towards the water which was a short distance away. Wingtails only hunted at two times during the day from Tharon's information, and that was early in the morning and mid-afternoon just after the great circle peaked in the sky. It was almost night time now, so seeing one hunting was quite unusual.
"Only one..." corrected Tyrus as the solo wingtail landed on the shore with his freshly caught water swimmer, "easy prey."
Without another word the massive sharptooth stomped forward towards the shore, charging his attack. Macaw followed nervously behind, as wingtails were one of the few creatures that actually scared him on account of their dominance of the sky. Should he be attacked by more then one of them, there would be nowhere to run.
Tyrus made no attempt to conceal himself as he thundered towards the wingtail, who calmly picked away at his catch. As the sharptooth got no less than twenty metres away, the large flyer stood up to his full height and glared at him. As a seasoned hunter, Tyrus could tell that there was no fear in those eyes… this wingtail that was less then a tenth his size was going to put up a strong fight. The sharptooth liked a challenge, and with a vicious roar he charged and struck at the rocks with his teeth. Unsurprisingly, the wingtail took to the air and screeched at him, circling low above. Tyrus knew this would happen and leaped into the air, snapping at the white wingtail with his jaws. The flyer dropped down swiftly to meet him, and went directly for his eyes… slashing just above his cheek. It stung, and as Tyrus landed on his feet again with a boom he glanced up at the wingtail in rage. The vile bird was still circling above, and looked to be coming in for another attack. This wingtail was certainly a stubborn creature, and the fact that he couldn’t reach it to attack was getting on his nerves. With a snarl, he leaped up into the air again and the fight continued.
Eybron and Tyrus fought in upwards of ten minutes, neither one willing to give an inch. It was a complete stalemate, with the white wingtail barely able to hurt the massive sharptooth while the prince continued to miss as he tried to place the killing blow. Eventually Eybron settled into a tree, panting hard as he caught his breath. In the clearing by the lake below, Tyrus was equally tired and hunched over slightly as his nostrils thundered with incoming and outgoing air.
“Slasher,” snarled Tyrus, “get down here and speak for me!”
The sharpbeak obeyed.
“You fight like a sharptooth wingtail,” commented Tyrus, “you are indeed a worthy opponent.”
“I make sure to train,” breathed Eybron, “so when I finally meet a sharptooth, I can kill him.”
“Hah, you and your puny ilk don’t stand a change against the might of my father, Tyron.”
Eybron brought his hands together and tapped the ends of his fingers in rapid succession, as if he had struck a glorious note.
“Ah if it isn’t little Prince Tyrus… you’ve grown up quite a bit since we last met.”
Tyrus’ eyes narrowed slightly.
“How do you know me wingtail… when have we ever…”
“I’m sure you remember who I am… unless you had forgotten this…”
Eybron slipped a small object out from underneath his wing and held it up towards the moonlight. Tyrus could make out its shape, and he was indeed familiar with it… it was the Occular!
“You’re the thief,” snarled Tyrus, “the one who stole it from me and my father!”
“One and the same,” confirmed Eybron with a sly smile, “I see you inherited your father’s intelligence.”
“When I get to you, you’ll eat those words wingtail.”
The white wingtail frowned, and slipped the Occular back into his wing.
“Let’s not be so hasty… though we have our differences, I believe we can ultimately serve one another.”
“Serve?” repeated Tyrus, “your squawking is not making any sense.”
“Simple,” replied Eybron as be began to casually inspect his nails, “we both need something the other possesses, and should we come to a deal we would both benefit.”
Tyrus bared his front teeth slightly.
“Explain.”
“I’ve been watching you young prince,” started Eybron, “and I can see that you intend to rule for yourself… no sharptooth of such status could remain subordinated for long. I also see what a certain wingtail has done to your complexion, which is a wound that runs far deeper then anything I have ever done.”
The sharptooth prince growled slightly and looked away towards the lake, where he could see his own reflection and how it had changed. Perhaps this wingtail spoke some truth.
“So, what are you implying flyer?”
Eybron stopped inspecting his fingers, and turned towards the sharptooth with a dominating expression on his face. In any other situation, Tyrus would have taken it as a challenge and attacked.
“I have the means to do two things for you… on first wing, I can stamp out the one ëSky’ who is responsible for your… tragedy… and on the second I can remove your father and family to make way for the next generation.”
It was devious, but quite appealing to Tyrus at that moment. After all, that was two out of his three major goals solved. There had to be a catch.
“And in return?” snarled the sharptooth prince.
“You will forfeit your claim over the Occular,” answered Eybron with authority, “and provide me with Sky’s current location so I might enact our ëpunishment’.”
“What makes you think I know where he is wingtail?”
“I happen to know that either you or the agents of your father are tracking him at the moment, and I’m sure all it would take is a word for you to get your claws on that information.”
It was true, admitted Tyrus grudgingly to himself. With but a word, he could check up amongst the sharpbeak messengers on Redgar’s location. The fastbiter had been tracking Sky as part of something his father was doing, but the prince had never asked what. All that mattered to him was that his command of the pack was terminated, and that infuriated him. Now, he could strike back through an unlikely ally.
“Alright flyer,” agreed Tyrus with a bit of spite, “we have a deal.”
Eybron smiled gloweringly… it was a face of intellectual victory. The sharptooth prince knew enough about sharptooth politics (or whatever primitive form passed for it) to see it was an untrustworthy expression.
“Tell me, how do you plan to kill my father? You are but a single flyer against the might of an army.”
“When dawn breaks,” answered the wingtail ominously as he spread his wings to take flight, “it will come from the sky.”
Tyrus had no idea what that meant, nor did he care. If all went well, soon he would be on top of the world and nobody would be able to deny him his rightful place as ruler of the land.
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The bubbling moan of a dead land covered the landscape and echoed amongst the molten rock and superheated mud that slowly cooled in the glow of a blackened sun. Everywhere ran the ominous, choking smell of volcanic ash and sulfur and apart from the flowing wind there was no warmth or comfort to be found here. The rocky wasteland of the Steppes had been irreversibly changed into a toxic charnel of death and despair, not unlike the Valley of the Mists the group passed through so long ago. The sky was a mixture of blackish-grey clouds and a fiery red glow as dawn broke. The conical spire in which the gang had taken refuge had been melted down to nearly half its previous size by the pyroclastic current, and no life stirred here at all apart from one tiny disturbance.
A rock on the side of the spire facing away from the volcano bulged slightly and then fell from its place, tumbling down the cliffside briefly before coming to a halt down below. Out of the now empty rock face emerged the head and body of a sooty and tired spiketail.
“Look, Spike made us a way out,” proclaimed Ducky, “he did, he did.”
One by one the entire group pushed their way through the small opening and into the outside. First was Spike, followed by Ducky, Ali, Littlefoot with Petrie on his back, and finally Sky. Every one of them looked dirty and bruised especially Petrie who was cradling one of his wings, which appeared to be broken. Sky was so covered in black, dusty ash that he could have been mistaken for Glide in different circumstances. Once the children had all gotten out of the way, the blue wingtail flapped his wings and shook vigorously to get all the dirt off his feathers.
“Well, that was certainly an adventure,” stated Sky with a bit of amusement, “albight one I do not wish to repeat.”
Littlefoot turned and shot him a dirty look, before glancing with concern at the flyer on his back.
“Petrie, are you alright?”
“Ooo… me hurting so much,” the flyer replied, holding his broken wing tightly.
“It’s okay… we’re going home now,” the longneck said, “come on guys… let’s go.”
“But Littlefoot, we do not know the way, no no no,” said Ducky sadly, “the sky fire changed everything.”
“We will find a way,” replied Littlefoot defiantly, “just like we always have…”
Sky opened his mouth to speak.
“…without you!”
A dark cloud came over the group like a shadow of things to come. Dissent was in the air.
“We are far from home, farther then we ever ever have been,” mentioned Ducky, “Sky knows the way, he can show us.”
Spike nodded his head in agreement.
“Fine,” shot Littlefoot in anger, “then you can stay here and die with him!”
Ducky gasped, and Spike growled. This was so unlike Littlefoot, their best friend, to talk to them this way. Sky looked sad at the confrontation, but did not say a word.
“Come on Ali, it’s time to go home,” asserted Littlefoot, but with a note of caring.
Ali stopped licking the dirt of her skin, and glanced sorrowfully back and forth between Sky and Littlefoot. She had a choice to make.
“Okay,” she said in submission, and she made to follow her friend.
Without another word, the two longnecks left. Having no choice but to stay on Littlefoot’s back for fear of further damaging his wing, Petrie could do nothing but simply go along for the ride. He wanted to believe that Sky was working for the best of them, but everything that had happened recently had really hurt his impression of the great flyer. He had suffered the same way once, back when his uncle had done bad things and gotten in trouble with the adults, and from the looks of things it had happened again. Why were the other flyers so mean? The answer he did not know… maybe Littlefoot and the others were meant to be his only true friends.
Nobody said anything until Littlefoot, Ali and Petrie were out of earshot. The atmosphere was so gloomy it was like the unspoken pact between all of them had died along with everything else in this desolate land. Sky sighed and sat down on a rock, resting his head on one of his hands in depressed thought. He had started the journey with eight children under his care, and now he had failed six of them - only two remained. He had tried so hard to keep them safe, and to keep at bay the sharpteeth that had been hounding them the entire journey but in the end none of it had worked. He didn’t deserve to be the guardian of these children, and he certainly didn’t deserve to be a father. Perhaps the children and even his beloved Star would be better off if he was just a set of bones on the ground, stripped of all burdens and significance. Maybe his hatchlings would grow up away from his mistakes, and make a better life of their own – it was the least he could do.
Spike trotted up to Sky, and hummed at him in inquiry. Sky wasn’t in the mood to answer, though the sweeping motion of his tail betrayed his feelings of sadness and regret. Much to the blue wingtail’s surprise, Spike nuzzled his hand and licked one of his fingers.
“Do not be sad,” said Ducky with assurance, “Littlefoot is very hurted inside… he has suffered very much more then any of us. Once he calms down and turns nice again, he will realize how much he needs you… how much we all need-did you.”
It was a shockingly mature thing to say for one so small, but Sky wasn’t convinced.
“What does it matter… you children would have been much better off if you never met me at all…”
Ducky jumped up on a rock directly in front of where Sky was sitting, and standing on it she was almost as tall as he was a few feet away.
“Oh no… remember when you save-ed us in the Land of the Mists?”
“That was pure chance,” answered Sky, “if it hadn’t made such a loud noise, then…”
“What about when you pulled Petrie out of the nasty bush… he talks about it so much.”
“It was nothing you kids couldn’t have done on your own,” insisted Sky with embarrassment.
Ducky was nearly yelling now, and demonstrating her points with wide sweeps of her arms.
“And then the sharptooth… if you hadn’t stopped him he would have eat-ed us for sure!”
“I got lucky,” countered Sky, though he looked a bit better, “if that shooting water hadn’t gone off when it did…”
“You rescued my friends from the sharpteeth in the forest, and even saved-did that mean wingtail who kept trying to hurted us!”
“Well… maybe… I…” stammered Sky.
The swimmer was right… he had done many mighty things. Perhaps, he was more of a hero then he thought he was. Spike started rubbing the wingtail’s hand with his nose, and Sky scratched briefly under his chin. It was enough to make the teacher smile.
“Spike likes you, and he is a good friend knower… he is,” added Ducky.
“Alright,” proclaimed Sky as he stood up, “thank you for your help Ducky… from here on I swear that I will get all of you children back together again, and return you home to the valley you belong.”
Ducky beamed at the announcement.
“But first, we will need to catch up with Littlefoot and the others,” stated the blue wingtail.
“Yay, we’re going home to the Great Valley!” Ducky shouted, and Spike looked equally excited.
“Let’s not be too hasty,” lectured Sky with a wag of his finger, “there are many dangers here in this burning wasteland, so we will need to hurry.”
Driven by the wind of inspiration, the wingtail, swimmer and the spiketail set out at last on their quest to make things right, and turn around all the misfortunes that had fallen their way. Their time was now, and nothing short of another volcano could slow them down.
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Littlefoot and Ali walked for nearly fifteen minutes, neither one of them bothering to say a word. With Sky and the sharpteeth out of the way, the environment was their greatest enemy now and it seemed to drag them down wherever they stepped. There was burning ash and lava everywhere, and one false move could result in severe burns and even losing a limb. The two longnecks trudged forward at a breakneck pace, and Ali was starting to fall behind.
“Wait up Littlefoot,” she said desperately as she tried to catch her breath.
The longneck ahead of her stopped, and after a minute or two she had caught up.
“I’m so tired,” she complained, “it’s so hot… and I’m thirsty.”
But Littlefoot wasn’t listening, as he was busy watching an unmoving dark shape on the ground ahead of them.
“What is it?” asked Ali with concern.
“I think it’s a sharptooth,” stated Littlefoot with uncertainty.
Petrie started shaking, and slipped off his friend’s back onto the ground.
“We stay away… very far away,” the flyer insisted in fear.
The fast biter was almost completely black, his skin almost completely burned away by the searing heat. Redgar had been lucky, as he was just quick enough to reach the small gully to be shielded from the worst of the pyroclastic cloud. As for where the rest of his pack was, there was no trace… the heat must have incinerated them. Soon it wouldn’t matter though, because he was dying and he knew it. A fresh, new scent hit his nostrils and he opened his eyes just in time to see two young longnecks only a short distance away. He tried to get up and give chase, but his body wasn’t responding… all he felt was pain.
“He looks really hurt,” commented Ali with concern, “maybe we should help him?”
The injured sharptooth growled at them and showed his teeth.
“Alright,” answered Littlefoot, and the longneck carefully stepped forward, “we’ll give him all the help he deserves.”
Suddenly and completely unexpectedly Littlefoot roared at the sharptooth and dashed forward, connecting his foot with the side of Redgar’s head. The fastbiter snarled weakly, before giving up trying to fight back altogether.
“You think you can hunt us down and get away with it?” shouted Littlefoot as he drove his foot into Redgar’s neck again, “…you killed my mother!"
The longneck beat on the fastbiter relentlessly, so much that Ali couldn’t watch.
“… You killed my father!”
Redgar bleeding now from the freshly opened wounds.
“You are responsible for every bad thing that has ever happened to me… EVERYTHING!”
The episode was so dramatic, and so brutal that Ali started to cry. It was just too much to bear. Petrie just stared, like he was seeing his friend in a way he had never seen him before. Littlefoot was acting like a sharptooth himself.
At last the longneck decided to finish it and reared up, driving both of his front feet onto Redgar’s skull. It wasn’t enough to break it, but it knocked him out cold on the spot. He would never wake up.
“There,” said Littlefoot as he turned back to his friends and wiped the blood off his feet on the rocky ground, “we put him out of his misery.”
Ali was crying openly now, hanging her head low.
“What?” asked Littlefoot harshly, “he deserved it!”
“…Nothing deserved that,” whispered Ali.
All at once, the male longneck realized what he had done. He rushed forward and rubbed the side of her head affectionately. He expected her to back away, but she didn’t.
“I’m so sorry Ali,” he whispered.
The two of them embraced for what seemed like a whole minute, before they finally parted. Ali sat down and wiped away the water from her eyes. For the first time Littlefoot turned to address Petrie, who had born witness to the whole thing.
“Sorry about that Petrie, I just don’t know… what came over me.”
Petrie frowned, and rubbed his sore wing nervously.
“Me think… me want to go home.”
“Yeah,” said Littlefoot with a bit of guilt, “me too.”
Before they continued onward, the longneck took one last look up at the sky where the great circle should have been. Instead, there was a blackish-grey ball illuminating the brackish sky with a fog-like haze of light. For the rest of his life he wouldn’t forget it… nor what he forget what happened here. It was the day that, for a single moment, he had gone from the good to the bad and killed another living being. He knew that if she was still alive, his mother would never forgive him.
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Never thought it'll come THIS early! :^.^:
Nice and very interesting chapter. A refreshing view of the bad guys. :yes
It was quite an interesting view of Littlefoot being really fierce. Never thought to see him like this...
A very enjoyable chapter as always. :)
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Whoa . . . Pretty grim chapter. :o Excellent work establishing a “low” point in the story (equivalent to the gang’s separation following Littlefoot and Cera’s fight in the first movie).
Good work making Tyrus even more villainous. I’d previously thought he’d seemed kind of tame compared to Eybron, the Stalkers, and (implicitly) Tyron. Seeing him take satisfaction in watching his prey suffer really pushed him over the threshold of irrevocable immorality most of the other villains had already crossed. (Although, if he had broken the swimmer’s neck, wouldn’t it have been unable to thrash around afterwards? Or are they intended to be something like the death spasms of a beheaded chicken?)
Poor Petrie :( . . . Looks like he’s not going to save the day with his flying skills anytime soon. I hope he still gets a big moment of his own at some point.
I might be more generous (for lack of a better word) than some in regards to atypical character behavior, but I think I could just barely envision Littlefoot acting the way he did in this chapter if he was a little older than in the films (as he is in this story) and extremely agitated and distraught. Telling his friends that they can die with Sky might be stretching it, though. He’s walked off saying, “who needs friends anyway?” before, and leaving them without a word, but I can’t imagine him saying something like that.
EDIT: Just in case that didn’t come out quite right, Littlefoot’s behavior in this chapter definitely came as a shock to me, and it certainly goes beyond anything I would normally expect of him, but I don’t think it is totally without precedent (Littlefoot effectively abandoning the others when they suggest taking a different route to the Great Valley in the first movie, and later coming up with the plan to kill Sharptooth) or impossibly out-of-character for him.
Great to finally see Ducky get a moment in the spotlight. (I hope it won’t be the only time.) Having her provide moral support and keep the group together is a great way to involve her in the story. :yes
The two things in this chapter that bamboozled me a little (NOT that I want out-of-story explanations for them) are Macaw’s statement that Tyron is dying, and the fact that Sky is evidently taking the gang back to the Great Valley. Is the Tyrant King going to be almost dead before we even see him? And has Sky given up on his intended business up north? (I’m still unclear on exactly what it his reason for returning home was; don’t tell me unless it’s already been revealed.)
Okey-dokes . . . corrections:
The sharptooth prince was hunting in the Coidal Springs, finding the locale to be both desirable for hunting unsuspecting dinosaurs as well as being highly unsettling to his temper.
Either delete “both” or change “as well as being” to “and”. Also, I’m not certain, but it is possible that “to” should be “for”.
"Possibly, but what's it to you* hatchling slasher?"
*Comma.
"Well, when you go back to my father and tell him everything you hear* you can tell him to execute and consume every last one of you sharpbeaks for your deception."
*Comma.
"No," Macaw squawked in fear, "I * trying to get in favor with the next in line for the throne, which is you. I am thinking about my future as well as your own."
*Insert “am” (unless Macaw’s language slips into “Petrieish” when he is frightened :p).
Should he be attacked by more then one of them, there would be nowhere to run.
Considering that, as a sharpbeak, Macaw’s preferred mode of escape is probably flying, not running, I think you should change this to “flee”.
“How do you know me* wingtail**… when have we ever…**”
I think “when” should be capitalized.
*Comma.
**Question marks. (In the second instance, it should go after the ellipsis, to indicate an unfinished question.)
“What makes you think I know where he is* wingtail?”
*Comma.
First was Spike, followed by Ducky, Ali, Littlefoot with Petrie on his back, and finally Sky. Every one of them looked dirty and bruised* especially Petrie* who was cradling one of his wings, which appeared to be broken.
*Commas.
“Do not be sad,” said Ducky with assurance, “Littlefoot is very hurted inside… he has suffered very much more then any of us. Once he calms down and turns nice again, he will realize how much he needs you… how much we all need-did you.”
If “need-did” is supposed to be past tense (“needed”), then Ducky’s grammar is correct here. If it is present tense (“need”), then Ducky wouldn’t add the ungrammatical suffix. Also, not a mistake, but you do have the option of changing “suffered” to “suffered-ed”.
It was a shockingly mature thing to say for one so small, but Sky wasn’t convinced.
Considering that size can easily be age-independent, and doesn’t necessarily have a bearing on maturity, perhaps “young” would be a more appropriate word choice.
“What does it matter*… you children would have been much better off if you never met me at all…”
*Question mark.
“You rescued my friends from the sharpteeth in the forest, and even saved-did that mean wingtail who kept trying to hurted us!”
Personally, I would spell this “saved-ed”.
“Wait up* Littlefoot,” she said desperately as she tried to catch her breath.
*Comma.
EDIT: Redgar * bleeding now from the freshly opened wounds.
*Insert “was”.
Again I apologize for taking so long with this review. Life interferes, y’know? :rolleyes: I’ll be sure to be more prompt with reviewing the next chapter.
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For my reviewers, I have an important query regarding an event in the next Part but I do not wish to spoil it by posting it here. If you would like to help by offering your opinion or perhaps give a suggestion of your own, then please send me a Personal Message so I can elaborate.
I've been writers blocked for over a week with this, and though I have the rest of the story well planned out this particular segment was one I had known was going to be difficult.
Caustizer
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The Far Away Home marathon is nearly upon us! Sometime in the next two months I will be posting two or three chapters in a row, as a reward for those of you who continue to review week after week. :celebrate
I am well aware that this will bring the story to a close quicker, but I have plans to continue writing and some ideas for a sequal have formed in my head. :angel
Keep reading and posting your opinions! I want to hear from everyone who is following the story, both on positive and negitive points. :smile
As for Part III, it should be up prior to or during this coming weekend.
Caustizer
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What? WHAT!? A sequel!? :blink: :wow :celebrate
That is such AWESOME news! :lol: I can't wait for the next chapter to be up! :DD
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In a row? Meaning how much time between posts? A day? A few hours? A few seconds?
That's a lot of writing to do, too. Are you planning to write 2–3 chapters and post them all at once, then write another 2–3 chapters and repeat, or post each chapter as soon as you finish it, while writing chapters at an extremely rapid pace?
Personally, I don't mind waiting a day or two between chapters. In fact, I think I'd prefer to have the excitement of reading the story prolonged and intensified by being given time for anticipation to build. That would be a better reward for me (not that I need one; reading and reviewing a story this awesome is its own reward :smile) than having a bunch of chapters posted in front of me all at once. Unless part of the reason for the rapid-fire posting is that so many plot twists and revelations will be occurring at such a fast rate that the only reason to have breaking points will be to prevent chapters from being unreasonably long, or to deny us time to ponder the events of each chapter and guess what happens next. :p
By the way, great to hear that there'll be a sequel! :DD It means I won't be out of work once this story is over. :P:
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Awesome! A sequel! :celebrate :celebrate :celebrate :smile :goodluck
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Part III: Journey through the Caves
The river ran through the wide caverns like a snake through the tall grass, and everywhere the subtle echo of flowing water reverberated amongst the stone. It was a highly familiar scene, but strangely Ruby found it quite calming as she jumped from rock to rock being careful not to slip. The current had carried Kepsla the shell swimmer far ahead as he said it would, so the fastrunner and the gang behind her were forced to catch up as swiftly as they could. The process of navigating treacherous underground caves had become something of a science to them now, with Ruby jumping ahead to see how far it was to the next ledge or rock with Gentry and Cera following shortly after. Thylo was just as eager to attempt long leaps over the river, but after she nearly drowned a few times the group decided it wasn’t such a good idea. Glide was bringing up the rear, and got stuck with the duty of tossing Chomper and Thylo across the gaps too large for them to jump themselves. Both the sharptooth and the spiketail thoroughly enjoyed this part of the trek, but Glide made no attempt to hide his displeasure and often muttered things about ëbabysitting’ or ëhatchlings’ under his breath.
…
A few hours earlier the group had awoken from an undisturbed but uncomfortable sleep to see Kepsla already slipping into the water, ready to guide them onwards for the day.
“It’s kinda rough in this next part,” the shell swimmer commented, “the fast water is going to push me down pretty quick, so you’ll all have to meet me at the bottom.”
“Ugh,” moaned Cera as she dipped her foot testingly, “more fast water…”
“Second that one,” added Gentry with a sigh.
“What’s the matter threehorn,” taunted Glide as he brushed off his wings, “afraid to get a little wet.”
That struck a nerve. Cera still had hard feelings about when the two wingtail kidnappers had tossed her into the lake and shattered her previously untouched ego. As far as she was concerned, this Glide was as good as one of them and his comment set her off.
“I’m not afraid of anything!” shouted Cera back, “and I’m definitely not afraid of you… don’t make me teach you a lesson you won’t forget!”
Glide’s eyes narrowed and he uncrossed his arms, cracking his knuckles.
“Try me.”
“Cera,” interrupted Ruby in an attempt to diffuse the situation, and she directed Cera away from the black wingtail, “maybe we should get going so we can keep going to get out of here.”
Cera pushed her away with her horn.
“What is wrong with you?” the threehorn demanded, “he’s one of them! All he wants is to keep us down here like the rest of those freaks!”
“But then why would he go through all that to rescue us, shera mate?” added Gentry as he poked his finger at her for emphasis.
The threehorn shot him a glare that clearly said ëyou’re next’.
“Well because… because…” Cera stammered, “…because they want to eat us!”
Thylo laughed at the absurdity of the accusation, and she wasn’t the only one. Chomper giggled while Gentry snorted, but covered it up as a cough as he tended to do. Cera rolled her eyes at their response, and for a moment there was silence as they were all reminded about how hungry they were. Sure they had fed on some kinds of cave moss and had lots of water, but every single one of them craved a more sustaining meal. The night before Glide had caught a frog, and Kepsla had gasped in fear and retreated into his shell so he didn’t have to see the wingtail crush it’s bones with his jaw. In an act of unforeseen kindness, the black flyer had given it over to Chomper who was nearly going mad from his hunger. It had been a unique moment at the time.
“I for one think he’s nice,” asserted Chomper as he stuck up for his friend.
Glide smiled at the praise, but only briefly before his face returned once again to his signature neutral expression.
…
Ruby’s remembering of the morning was interrupted by a sudden rush of air. It was not the speed or the intensity of the wind, but the smell that caught her off guard. The scent was fresh and new, just like what one would sense in an open meadow. They were nearing the outside!
“Hey… hey,” called back Ruby to the rest of the group which was lagging slightly behind, “up ahead… I can smell the smell of green food, we’re almost there!”
Along the line there were sighs of relief, and they quickened the pace. After ten minutes there was a shining of light and a notable increase in temperature. Ruby found a solid ledge next to the river and broke into a run, skipping over loose rocks and obstacles with an agility only her kind could hope to achieve. When she finally crested the underground ridge that was the source of the light, it was so bright she had to cover her eyes. Soon the others joined her and faced the same harsh glare.
“Wow,” commented Chomper in wonder, “it’s beautiful.”
The cavern that extended before them was gaping and wide, and resembled more of an enclosed canyon then a cave. In the roof, blue sky was visible and the sun was shining through, reflecting off strange flat rocks and illuminating the entire place brightly. The location was about the size of half a football arena, and everywhere the ground teamed with life. The river they had been following rolled down a brief set of rapids before emptying into a small pond that filled the bottom of the chamber except where brilliant islands of grass and leaves sprouted from it’s waters. Even along the massive canyon walls patches of green flared out all the way to the top. Clearly this was the best they could have hoped for – a near paradise.
Ruby, Cera, Gentry, Chomper, Glide, and Thylo could only gape in wonder at the dream-like quality of where they stood. The spiketail was the first to wiggle free of the spell.
“I can’t believe we found so much green food!” she cried in joy, “And I was so hungry but now there’s so much to eat I’m not sure what to go for first and I…”
Gentry clamped her mouth shut gently with his fingers, and shushed her with his other hand.
“Slowly now… don’t want to go filling our ears again,” the egg-stealer commented with a laugh.
Thylo might have been annoyed, but she was too excited about the new source of food that she just dashed on forward, and ploughed into the nearest bush with enthusiasm. The sounds of her munching soon filled the air around, though nobody could actually see her head.
Glide suddenly spread his wings wide, stretching them out and preparing for flight. One of them clipped Cera on purpose or by accident, and she yipped and jumped out of the way. Before the threehorn could respond, the black wingtail had taken off and was soaring around the cavern looking for prey to catch.
“Oh boy,” urged Chomper eagerly. “come on Ruby lets go get some water swimmers!”
“Maybe later,” answered the fastrunner, and she glanced over where Kepsla was sunning himself on a rock, “…I have something I need to do first.”
“Okay,” sighed Chomper, and he set out towards the river. Hopefully he could catch one on his own.
With the sharptooth’s departure only Ruby, Gentry and Cera remained.
“I gotta craving for some eggs-stuff,” stated Gentry as he licked his lips, “mind… it looks like I’m gonna have to settle with the green stuff.”
Cera suddenly realized that she had missed the big opportunity to lead, and jumped to it.
“Okay everyone,” she said loudly, “let’s all go eat.”
It was a little late though, as Gentry and Ruby were already leaving.
“Hrmm,” grumbled Cera as she looked around and became aware of this fact.
…
Kepsla was laying on a nice hot rock, and his eyes were closed. This must be what shell swimmers did during their spare time, surmised Ruby as she approached. There was a small puddle in her path, and as she stepped lightly in it the splashing sound awoke Kepsla.
“Hi,” said Ruby nervously.
She was never really good at introductions, or at least she was more careful about them now that she had suffered from a bad one.
“Oh hey,” replied Kepsla with a yawn, “I see you guys made it safe and sound… Rozzy would be glad you didn’t get swept up again like last time.”
A cold tingle crept up Ruby’s spine as she suddenly realized exactly where she knew the shell swimmer from. During the Storm Tide, she had been swept up by a rampaging river and she nearly drowned, but thankfully she washed up on shore down the gorge. She had passed out, but not before she called for help from two others who were nearby – Kepsla the shell swimmer and Rozzy the egg stealer. Rozzy was Ozzy and Shira’s son, and he hated his parents enough to detest it when they made him show her around the Dawn Valley… the place where she had landed. What started as a passive resentment turned into friendship, respect, and finally love.
Rozzy had saved her life twice, and Ruby could never forget it. He was kind of mean at times, but he always came around and if he had been a fastrunner they would have been mates for sure. The last time she saw him was as he walked away in the tow of his father, before his image was consumed by the pouring rain. It was the main reason being around Gentry had been strange at first, because his species reminded her so much of her old friend and crush.
“Is he… still around and okay?” managed Ruby awkwardly. She didn’t know what else to ask.
“Oh yeah,” answered Kepsla sincerely, “and he’s in love too… I saw him and his female friend the last time our families visited the Dawn Valley.”
Ruby felt a pang of jealously, and her facial expression betrayed it. Kepsla slipped back into his shell so only his nose was showing.
“Why are you mad?” he peeped, “was it me… did I say something?”
“No,” said Ruby reassuringly as she hid her emotions, “I’m glad he’s okay.”
Clearly Rozzy had moved on, and in that moment Ruby made up her mind to as well.
After all, there were plenty of water swimmers in the lake.
…
Chomper was usually pretty good at finding food, but this place seemed to be getting the better of him. There were no stinging buzzers, or flying insects of any kind amongst the curious plant life living in the canyon. After half an hour of fruitlessly searching, he gave up and tried to catch a water swimmer but found he was terrible at it. As he smacked the surface of the pond in frustration, there was a small thud of landing feet nearby.
“Having trouble?” came the familiar voice of a black wingtail behind him.
The sharptooth didn’t bother turning around, and instead remained concentrated on his task.
“Yeah… these things are too quick to catch,” Chomper remarked as he tried again, “I don’t know how you and Ruby do it.”
“Perhaps you should go after more suitable prey…” Glide suggested thoughtfully.
This time Chomper did turn around, and he was just in time to see the wingtail put on a devilish smile and jerk his head towards Thylo. The spiketail was so engrossed with eating that only her rear end was showing. The sounds of her munching were just loud enough to be distracting.
“I can’t eat them,” said Chomper nervously, “they are my friends.”
“That is until your hunger turns you against them,” replied Glide, “you feel it already now don’t you? The calling of your natural instinct to hunt.”
There was a moment of awkward silence as Chomper looked around to see if anyone else was listening.
“Why are you so mean all the time?” the sharptooth asked neutrally, more out of curiosity then in attack.
Glide crossed his arms and stuck up his nose.
“I’m not being mean, I’m being realistic. Mark my words one day you’re going to wake up and find that water swimmers simply aren’t good enough.”
The black wingtail leaned forward.
“And when that day comes, you will forced to either kill… or die.”
Chomper looked down at the ground, and a tear welled up in his eye.
“I know,” he whimpered.
Glide suddenly felt a rush of guilt. It was one thing to incite an adult but hurting a child was wrong, and it went against what he believed in. As Chomper turned away to hide his emotions, the wingtail thought about taking back what he had said… but he couldn’t. The only thing to do was to apologise and try to set things right, but that kind of thing wasn’t his specialty. As hard as it was he had to give it a try.
The black wingtail took a few steps forward and sat down slowly. He leaned his right arm on his knee, waiting for the right moment to speak. The two of them were right next to the water, and as it calmly flowed by like it didn’t have a care in the world, the intensity of the moment slipped away.
“Sometimes I wish I could change too,” Glide admitted with a sigh.
Chomper sniffed and rubbed his nose.
“W-What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean… I wish I could’ve brought back my parents, and then maybe I could have lived a normal childhood like the others.”
“You lost your parents?” Chomper added with a tone of sorrow.
“I did…”
Glide picked up a stone and tossed it up in the air. When it came back down he caught it handily, and with a scowl he tossed it out into the lake. The stone skipped almost the entire way across before sinking to the bottom.
“…we did… my sister was just a wingling back then and she needed me. I was like a father to her.”
There was a bit of bitterness in Glide’s tone, but nothing overwhelming. It was clear that he didn’t think she thought the same of him now. Chomper opened his mouth to ask another question, but just as he did a large flier swooped into the canyon-like cave from above. He was pretty far away from them, but even from the distance the sharptooth could see that he was a wingtail and that he was a shade of blue.
“Wow,” commented Chomper, ëwho’s that?”
Glide didn’t answer. Instead, he snarled viciously. That wingtail looked an awful lot like another one he knew….
The wingtail did a circle in the air, before curving his wings and diving into a fissure in the canyon walls above.
“Do you think it’s one of them?”
Chomper was referring to Eybron’s wingtails.
“I don’t know,” replied Glide finally, “but I intend to find out.”
“Wait,” interjected the sharptooth, “we should bring the others too… so we can stick together.”
Glide did not take his eyes off the fissure, and nodded his agreement passively. In the next breath, Chomper had gone off to find the rest of the group and get them back together.
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The volcanic ash clouds still blotted out the sun in places, and it was proving very difficult for the Feral Forest to settle back into a normal routine as nobody was getting up on time thanks to the endless darkness. As the first light shined through a gap in the sky, Star met with the other teachers and they made up their mind to start their classes again. The wingtail children who did not suffer a loss in the family had been enjoying their time off, but now their parents were starting to have the urge to get rid of them again during the day. As it would turn out, Star got the duty of teaching the first class in the morning. It was glass-working, her specialty.
“Good morning everyone,” Star said as her thirty students sat and conversed in the trees at the edge of the Coidal Springs, her teaching place.
They all went silent, and waited for her to continue.
“Because of the recent events over at the Black Mountain, I’ve been thinking that we could go today to collect some samples for our work.”
There were strings of whispers that erupted from various parts of the group.
“But isn’t that dangerous?” said a girl wingtail from the back.
“Yeah, my parents don’t want me to go anywhere that death crater,” remarked another.
“That sounds so cool… we could see an entire lake of rock!”
“Children please,” interrupted Star, trying to get them to quiet down, “if you don’t want to go then I understand completely… All I’m saying is that it would be an excellent opportunity for us to learn all about…”
Star trailed off as she noticed something odd. All the students in the front row had backed away from her, some with looks of fright in their eyes. Other young wingtails in the rear had taken off and fled altogether.
“… It’s not that frightening,” she said as reassuringly as she could, confused at her class’s reaction to the suggestion, “really it will only be a short trip, and I promise we will return in time for the afternoon feed.”
“Ah… you certainly have a way with children, don’t you my dear?”
Star whirled around at the sound of the voice, only to come face to face with Eybron. The white wingtail had snuck up on her, and was almost close enough to grab her if he wanted to try. He was quite dirty and unkempt for a wingtail, and there was a glint of insanity in his eyes that she had never seen before. Surprisingly, he was alone. Star concluded that he was the reason the children were so scared.
“It’s over,” declared Star boldly, “you have no more followers or power. I humbly request you leave so I can continue with my duties.”
Eybron took a step closer, and brushed back his frill as if he was preparing for a date. Star was getting nervous now, and backed away.
“I’m warning you Eybron… don’t make me hurt you.”
“So desperate,” remarked the white wingtail poetically, “and so violent. Symptoms of another love lost beneath the… shall we say… burning desires of nature.”
Star stood her ground, and growled as if she was about to lunge at him.
“And yet you continue to refuse my offers of courtship… you fight against the inevitable tide that is my love of you. I demand respect everywhere I go… and I get it. Such it would be for you too if you sat by my side, and stayed with me in my tree. Tell me, why is it that for all I have to give you still refuse?”
Star continued her growling, and glared at him with hate. Eybron could see his speech wasn’t penetrating, so he tried a different tactic.
“This is a wonderful group you have under your care here,” the white wingtail said with a casual glance in the direction of the students, “it would be a real pity if something were to happen to one of them under your watch.”
He was threatening the children… she had to do something.
“You want to know why I don’t want you Eybron?” she said boldly.
“Do tell…” replied Eybron with a devilish grin.
“Because I could never court a BLOODY MURDERER!”
Star charged at him, and aimed a blow directly at his head. He was too fast however and caught both her arms in his iron grip. It was painful, and she winced as he squeezed her wrists. Eybron pulled her in close… so close she felt his hot breathe on her face.
“I always loved a female with a little bit of fight,” he whispered as he licked the side of her face.
“Let go of my niece Eybron, or you will have to deal with me.”
The white wingtail scowled, and let Star fall to the ground.
“Ah Sturgeon,” he remarked snidely, “finally decided to take an interest in your loved ones?”
Star’s uncle Sturgeon had showed up just on time, and he stood not alone but with two of his own friends by his side. The three wingtails had landed on the ground while the exchange between Eybron and Star was taking place, and the brown wingtail looked ready to fight.
“I couldn’t stand by any longer while you tear my family apart Eybron… somebody has to teach you a lesson about good manners.”
“Hah… bring it on old fool,” taunted the white wingtail with disrespect, “you couldn’t hurt a water swimmer.”
The children had for the most part fled, but some remained and watched as the bitter scene played out. So much action was going on in the Feral Forest these days it was tough for the more wary of them to keep up, so it was exciting to see things play out first hand.
The fight had nearly begun when another wingtail swooped in from the air. He had an aura of authority that made all four flyers stop what they were doing to hear what he had to say.
“Are you the one called ëEybron’?” the royal guard said with a bored tone, like he would rather be somewhere else.
“Yes,” answered the white wingtail with annoyance.
“You have been summoned to the council of elders,” the green wingtail said, “they requested you immediately, so do not be late.”
“Of course,” growled Eybron as he waved the guard away like one would a pest.
The green wingtail did not move.
“They have also requested the presence of all teachers,” he continued, looking blankly at Star, “you have also been demanded immediately… do not be late.”
On that note, the royal guard departed. Eybron spread his wings smugly and made haste to follow, as did Star albight a bit more reluctantly.
“This isn’t over Eybron,” remarked Sturgeon bitterly, “I’ll see to it you will pay for what you have done.”
As he flew away and rounded the trees Eybron made a mental note in his mind to kill that wingtail when he had the chance. Sturgeon was an obstacle to his courtship of Star… and just like Sky he would need to be dealt with.
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I've added the picture of Eybron to the first post, for anyone who hasn't seen it yet :smile
Caustizer.
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Sorry for the slight delay. (Anyone else gonna comment on this chapter? :confused)
I felt like I was being teased (in a good way) by this chapter. :p After all the events of the previous chapter that I assumed would beget increased action, I was constantly expecting something dramatic to happen, only for it not to. Arguments between the characters; arrivals at new locations home to unknown creatures; fleeting appearances of potentially new characters. Even the last part with the wingtails, by far the tensest in the entire chapter, followed this pattern. The confrontation between Eybron and Sturgeon seemed set to escalate into a very ugly battle, only to be abruptly interrupted. This was in no way disappointing; on the contrary, it’s an example of exactly the kind of storytelling I enjoy: the kind that keeps me on my toes and feels exciting even when things are relatively uneventful. :yes
Thylo was just as eager to attempt long leaps over the river, but after she nearly drowned a few times the group decided it wasn’t such a good idea.
This made me laugh. I’m sorry if that sounds bad, but I just found the understatement of it all hilarious. :lol
Apparently Kepsla’s not much of a talker. He recognized Ruby and didn’t even mention it. He provided an interesting update on Rozzy, though. Poor Ruby; I hope she finds a mate eventually (though evidently she won’t in this story).
It’s pretty surprising that Chomper wouldn’t find any insects in the canyon. Normally, places with water and plenty of plant life are teeming with them. (They are Earth’s most abundant macroscopic land animals, after all.) Perhaps there’s a surplus of insectivorous creatures in the area?
Excellent job making Eybron feel like a creep (and a threatening and unflappableópun unintendedóone at that). That was also a very unnerving scene. I distinctly felt my adrenaline flow increase as I was reading that part.
It may please you to know that I really didn’t find that many errors in this chapter (or else I’m becoming less observant :unsure:); here are the ones I did notice:
The river ran through the wide caverns like a snake through the tall grass, and everywhere the subtle echo of flowing water reverberated amongst the stone. It was a highly familiar scene, but strangely Ruby found it quite calming as she jumped from rock to rock* being careful not to slip.
”Amongst” sounds really strange here, and I’m not sure if it’s grammatically accurate. I would suggest changing it to “against” or “across”.
*Comma.
“What’s the matter* threehorn,” taunted Glide as he brushed off his wings, “afraid to get a little wet.”
The punctuation marks at the end of both of Glide’s lines should be question marks.
*Comma.
The night before* Glide had caught a frog, and Kepsla had gasped in fear and retreated into his shell so he didn’t have to see the wingtail crush it’s bones with his jaw. In an act of unforeseen kindness, the black flyer had given it over to Chomper* who was nearly going mad from his hunger.
If Glide didn’t actually get around to chewing up the frog, then “didn’t” should be “wouldn’t”. Also, “it’s” should be “its”, and I think it might be more accurate to use the plural “jaws”.
*Comma.
The river they had been following rolled down a brief set of rapids before emptying into a small pond that filled the bottom of the chamber except where brilliant islands of grass and leaves sprouted from it’s waters. Even along the massive canyon walls* patches of green flared out all the way to the top.
”It’s” should be “its”.
*Comma.
“I gotta craving for some eggs-stuff,” stated Gentry as he licked his lips, “[COLOR]mind[/COLOR]… it looks like I’m gonna have to settle with the green stuff.”
Are there supposed to be any words before this one? If not, it should probably be capitalized, and maybe have an apostrophe in front of it if it’s a partial word or phrase (in the manner of “’em” being a partially spoken “them”).
The wingtail children who did not suffer a loss in the family had been enjoying their time off, but now their parents were starting to have the urge to get rid of them again during the day.
Should be “had not suffered”.
Eybron pulled her in close… so close she felt his hot breathe on her face.
Should be “breath.”
Can’t wait for more chapters! :smile
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I figured while you are all waiting for the next chapter of Far Away Home (at least I hope your waiting... nobody commented on the last chapter but Pangaea :oops) I would include a bit of a change of pace.
Heres a preview of things to come in the next few chapters!
(http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/4840/skyinthought.jpg)
The next part is in progress, and is actually going to be a bit long since it really defines the rest of the Act and in fact the story.
A million thanks to Sky for making this picture for me, and the reason the background is white is because he is so busy I didn't want to pester him for a background :angel
Caustizer
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I’d just like to make a statement that I hope everyone who reads this story will see:
I could be wrong (and I kind of hope I am :unsure:), but the fact that so few people are commenting on this story besides me gives me the uneasy impression that my own lengthy and comprehensive style of giving feedback is deterring other members from posting their thoughts. My suspicion is that other potential reviewers see my posts (or even simply know that I am diligently and committedly leaving feedback on each chapter) and figure that there is no room for them to say anything helpful. And this doesn’t just go for Far Away Home, either. It seems that almost every fanart and fanfiction thread that I post in on a regular basis sees a decline in the number of other commenters once I start doing so. The Chronicler’s story, Quest for the Energy Stones, for instance, has not seen a single post by anyone besides its author and myself since I started posting reviews there. :o
I hate to think that I am inadvertently discouraging others from leaving feedback. In fact, the possibility makes me feel rather self-conscious, like I am “hogging” the position of reviewer. I as well as Caustizer would appreciate input from more readers than just myself.
Some authors and artists may be okay with getting limited feedback on their work, if the feedback they do receive is of very high quality. Many, however, probably prefer to have multiple reviewers, so that their work is being evaluated from several different perspectives. Receiving opinions from many different people better enables an author or artist to understand how he or she can produce work that appeals to a large audience.
Even if a comment is not especially long or informative, it at least tells the author or artist that his or her work is being viewed and (hopefully) appreciated by that person. Comments from many different people indicate a large audience, which in turn encourages the author or artist to continue working.
It seems to me that Caustizer is looking for quantity as well as quality of reviewers. No matter how good the feedback from any single individual may be, it’s still coming from just one person. And I know that he is concerned about his readers losing interest in the story, so comments represent verification for him that his audience is still present.
And as obsessively nitpicky and detail-conscious as my reviews may be, even I don’t notice everything. Serris, for example, has identified several typos and other errors in the chapters that I did not catch. I’m also not so good at noticing subtleties such as foreshadowing, or remembering specific events from prior chapters that may be referenced again. My reviews are NOT all-encompassing; there ARE gaps that can be filled in, and your posts will not be seen as insignificant merely because they are less thorough than mine.
Plus, I’d like to know if I’m the only one noticing certain details and patterns in the story, or if I’m just the editorial equivalent of a guy trapped in a cabin by a blizzard who starts to see faces in the knotholes of the furniture because he’s had no one to talk to for too long. If you have opinions that relate to and/or differ from my opinions, I’m interested to know (and I’m sure Caustizer is as well).
I would encourage everyone who is following this story (as well as other members’ works I have been reviewing) to post comments now and again, describing what you thought of the chapters, what you found interesting, any errors or inconsistencies you may have noticed that I didn’t, or even just to second one of my remarks. Both Caustizer and I would appreciate it. :yes
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Thank you for your show of support Pangaea :angel
I'm thinking that people have probably just moved on, since there is a ton of other LBT stuff out there to do as well.
I haven't heard from CT in a while, and Serris probably has his hands full with the Role Playing and Twilight Valley.
If it comes down to it I may just have to delay or cancel the story altogether due to lack of interest :cry , but I doubt that will happen since the ending is so close and it's only going to get better from here.
Caustizer
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I'm still following Far Away Home, so I'm still here and interested. The only thing that's been holding me back from posting is a lack of constructive words. I don't want to cause anybody to have bad feelings here, so just know that I'm not annoyed by Pangaea's reviews. It's just that he spells out all the areas for improvement so meticulously that I don't have anything else to add usually. I don't blame him at all for his reviews. I mean, who else on the GOF goes so far as to not only help out with grammatical errors but also go through the process of quoting lines from the chapter and highlighting where the problem area is? His reviews are very helpful, and I don't want him to be discouraged from doing something that is very helpful to fanfic writers.
I hate to make a post with just the words "Great chapter!" or "Update soon!" since these sound like statments that are not well thought out and not constructive to the author. If it does help to keep encouragement in finishing this fanfic, then I'll make sure to post in here more often. Sorry if I came across as disinterested :neutral.
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Please, do not cancel the story! :o I'm sure you know how I feel about Far Away Home. :cry
I try to comment after every chapter that comes out, but the only things I say are only "Great chapter as always!" or "Can't wait for the next chapter!", which aren't really helpful either. :unsure:
The only thing I can do, is to support Far Away Home with artworks. :neutral
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With all due respect, Caustizer, that statement of possibly canceling the story did come off as a little theatrical (like you’re desperately trying to get the silent readers to speak up). I don’t need to tell you how I’d feel if you went through with that. :p (I’d probably panic if you hadn’t said it’s not likely to happen.) However, I imagine that you might be less inclined to write the sequel you mentioned earlier if I remain the only reader who consistently posts responses to Far Away Home, and that is understandable.
@CT & Sky: Yeah, I understand what you mean about being reluctant to just post a simple exclamation of approval and/or anticipation for the next chapter. You’d be surprised how hard it actually can be for me to come up with comments on a chapter, even if I loved it. If my reviews consisted purely of proofreading observations, then they might be helpful for spellchecking purposes, but they wouldn’t provide much encouragement to the writer or express what I thought of the story.
I hope I’m not simply repeating what I said in my earlier post, but my suggestions for posting more in-depth responses to chapters include identifying scenes or lines of dialogue that you particularly liked or had a strong reaction to, or stating whether you agreed or disagreed with a comment from a previous reviewer (For instance, CT, I was interested to hear what you thought of Cera’s recent adoption of a leadership role in her group ;)). Basically, start with comment frameworks like the following:
ï “I laughed at the part when __________.”
ï “The scene where __________ was (insert adjective)!”
ï “The part where __________ reminded me of __________.”
ï “Like (insert name of previous reviewer), I thought that __________.”
. . . filling in the blanks with whatever is suitable. If ideas for comments don’t come to me right away while I’m reading the chapter, that’s pretty much how I think of things to say in my reviews (Likewise, when ideas DO pop into my head while I’m reading, they often fit into categories like the examples I mentioned). :yes
I hope some of that is helpful. :)
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Although I would prefer quality reviews, a simple "great chapter" is always a hundred times better then silence. It may not be intricate or well worded, but most importantly it tells me that you are still here reading it and that you are enjoying it. To me, there is no greater satisfaction then that :smile When people are reading but not posting, I have no way of knowing and after a while start to assume the worst.
On a slightly more pleasant note, what do you all think of the picture Sky made for me posted above?
He always does such a good job on these, it almost feels like I am defacing it by adding quotations from a part of the story.
Caustizer.
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Actually, I like the quotes that were added to the picture. There's something about the quotations that make the picture even more interesting. I just can't pinpoint it :p.
Pangaea: Of course it made me happy to see Cera have some leadership time in Far Away Home :yes. I honestly wish Universal would have her do this more often in the series WITHOUT havin' her screw up each time :bang. Don't get me wrong, I really like the real Littlefoot's character, not the arrogant imposter they put in the TV series. However, whenever I think about it, I do get tired of him always being the leader in the series. If the others are not given more chances to be leaders, how will they grow to know good leadership? That's just a pet peeve of mine :p.
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On a slightly more pleasant note, what do you all think of the picture Sky made for me posted above?
He always does such a good job on these, it almost feels like I am defacing it by adding quotations from a part of the story.
At first glance, I think I didn’t realize that the picture was much different from Sky in the picture with Guido you posted at the very beginning of this thread :oops (Having since compared the two, I now see that this picture of Sky is very differentóand much better, in my opinion). I notice that it looks a lot like your Glide avatar, Caustizer, only it’s obviously a different wingtail wearing a more contemplative expression. I can’t get over how well Sky does eyes :wow (How appropriate, considering they’re one of the themes of your story).
The picture’s fantastic on its own, but it doesn’t have a whole lot of relevence to the story (besides representing one of its chief characters) without the quotes. (By the way, I noticed that the corner of the ëP’ in the third speech balloon seems to be cut off.)
So they’re traveling west to reach a valley of salvation, eh? Sounds familiar. :p
I can't tell you how excited I am for the next chapter. :DD
Pangaea: Of course it made me happy to see Cera have some leadership time in Far Away Home :yes. I honestly wish Universal would have her do this more often in the series WITHOUT havin' her screw up each time :bang. Don't get me wrong, I really like the real Littlefoot's character, not the arrogant imposter they put in the TV series. However, whenever I think about it, I do get tired of him always being the leader in the series. If the others are not given more chances to be leaders, how will they grow to know good leadership? That's just a pet peeve of mine :p.
Yeah, same here. My thoughts exactly. :rolleyes
See, you did a great job expressing your thoughts on an aspect of the story right there! You should share your opinions on the chapters like that more often. :yes
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Part IV: The Grand Creator
It was nearly night time when the group reassembled at the bottom of the Echo Canyon Cave, their desires for sustenance and fresh air all taken care of. The night sky shone in from the narrow fissure opening above giving the illusion of both entrapment and protection. The stars were visible, and Ruby noted that it was the first time she had seen them since the eruption after what happened at the Sonicron.
The runner sat on all fours with her stomach on the ground, swirling her finger pleasantly in the sand out of both boredom and a desire to pass the time. Tomorrow they planned to investigate who that mysterious visitor Chomper had mentioned was, and whether he was one of Eybron's wingtail's or not. Anyone in the Feral Forest who had seen them enter the Whirlpool would probably think they died since they had not come out, so to see a sentry here so soon would be very unusual and alarming indeed. Fed up with the dirt, Ruby glanced up to see what everyone was doing.
Gentry had found some sort of fruit, and was trying with frustration to peel the skin off so he could get to the juicy inside. The egg-stealer bashed it repeatedly on a rock, before flopping onto his back and attempting to force it open by pulling it apart with his arms and back feet. All he succeeded in doing was causing the entire plant to explode, covering him with orange juices. Thylo giggled, and Gentry wiped his face off angrily.
"Okay then little-laugher, let's see you give it a try."
The egg-stealer kicked one of the oranges he had picked over to where Thylo was sitting, and she peeled it open almost immediately by biting down on the skin and pulling it off.
"Bah, spiketail's luck," scoffed Gentry.
Ruby turned towards the river bank, where she saw Chomper asleep on the ground amongst a pile of fish bones. Earlier that day after her conversation with Kepsla, she came down to help the sharptooth again by catching him some water swimmers. Secretly she was getting annoyed that he couldn't find food of his own without her help, but there was a part of her that also knew that if she didn't do it his appetite could make him dangerous. Admittedly she sometimes had desires to eat meat, but it was more of a subtle craving then a raving desire to kill. Fast runners were scavengers by nature, much like egg-stealers, so just like the leaf-eaters killing for food did not come natural to them. Disturbed by the thought, Ruby tilted her head towards the black wingtail.
Glide was a mystery to her. He rarely spoke unless spoken to, and always looked like he was angry even if he wasn't. There were times when he was mean, but he was also stern and responsible. In Ruby's mind actions speak a lot louder then words and Glide certainly had proven himself through this means. As the fast runner watched the wingtail stood vigil on top of a rock next to the river, swishing his tail back and forth lightly. Ever since they had spotted that other wingtail he had been staring at the cliffs above, expecting an attack any moment. Perhaps it was a bit of paranoia, but it could very well end up saving their lives. Despite his unpleasantries, Ruby found she actually enjoyed his company.
Cera came trudging up as the fast runner was deep in thought, and Ruby jumped a bit when she realized the threehorn was there.
"Hey," whispered Cera, "stay quiet."
"What is it?" inquired Ruby in a similarly silent tone, confused as to what it was for.
Cera looked around uncomfortably.
"We need to talk," she said.
A few minutes later the fastrunner and the threehorn had climbed a rock plateau on the side of one of the canyon walls, and the view was gorgeous. From the vantage point they could see the entire cavern-valley including their resting place. Their friends were visible only has shadows except for Glide, who stuck out like a black stain on the rock under the twilight.
"So why are we talking up here, when we could be talking down there?" asked Ruby sincerely.
"Because," asserted Cera, "I don't want anyone to hear us."
Ruby looks a little bit uncomfortable about the prospect of keeping things like this from their friends, but otherwise was curious as to what the threehorn would have to say.
"Ooo," groaned Cera, "why is that thing still with us anyway? We're out in the open now, so he can just fly away and leave us alone."
Ruby sighed... Cera was going on about Glide again.
"Because he's our friend," answered the fastrunner, "and friends stick together."
"Okay," admitted Cera, "he has done some good things... but don't you think he is.... I don’t know... a little creepy?"
Ruby glanced down at Glide, who was scanning the top parts of the wall where Chomper said the wingtail had landed.
"Maybe, but that's on the surface Cera. Deep down I know he's just as nice as we are."
"Hah," snorted the threehorn, "I think he's spying on us."
Ruby looked confused.
"Spying on us?" she questioned, "but why... he hates the other wingtails."
"What if it's just an act?" suggested Cera, "we don't know anything about him... he just dropped down from the sky one day for no reason and became our friend."
Ruby turned away nervously, and looked down towards their resting place again. Glide had rotated and was staring at her blankly. She found it to be a little bit unnerving, even from such a distance. Maybe Cera was right... maybe he was spying on them for their kidnappers. Ruby shivered at the thought, and her body reminded her suddenly of how tired she was. They could rest today, and think about it more tomorrow.
..
Ruby's deep sleep was suddenly interrupted as air refused to pass through her mouth. She opened her eyes in shock, realizing that she was being grabbed again. The world was still blurry but they had a hold on her beak and were keeping it clamped shut. She struggled and tried to scream, but it only came out as a constricted hum. As everything came into view, she found she was staring straight into Glide's face. He had grabbed her!
"Shhh," the wingtail whispered as he make a silencing gesture with his finger in front of his mouth.
He suddenly turned and glanced towards the lake, and in the process let her go. He did not seem to have acted maliciously, but impolitely instead.
"…Listen."
Ruby rubbed her eyes a few times and briefly shook the sleep out of her body. The first thing she noticed after getting up was the strange sound that had filled the air. She stood up next to Glide as he too noted the strange sound, and came to the conclusion that he in fact wasn't kidnapping her. Minutes rolled by as the noise continued, drifting across the river and through the canyon as if it was the wind itself. It was an odd whistling sound, but it was pleasing and calming to her ears and she felt compelled to sit in silence and listen. The pitch rose and fell a few times in near perfect unison, and at times was either jolly and high or sad and low.
"What is it?" asked the fast runner in wonder.
"I don't know," responded Glide with a scowl, "but we are going to find out."
"Just us? ... but what about the others?"
"They will be whole until we get back," asserted Glide, "...come and get on my back, we are going for a short flight."
Ruby didn't really like the idea of flying, but she also didn't want to know what would happen if she decided not to go. That and she was curious about what could possibly be making the pleasing noise.
..
The horizontal fissure in the cliff wall led to a small cave that was surprisingly well lit for such a dark night. Ruby was getting tired of adventuring through caves, but in this one there was a somewhat personable, inviting quality that made her comfortable inside. Apparently Glide felt so too, and he relaxed just after the pair came in for a smooth landing. The strange sound continued to play, and it reverberated off the walls in a cordial melody that appeared to be coming from deep within.
"Stay close," Glide warned as he sniffed the air and darted his gaze around, looking for potential threats.
Ruby only half listened, as she was so intent on finding the source of the disturbance. With two bounds she was already into the cave, forcing Glide to hop into the air and flap vigorously to catch up.
“What did I just say…” the wingtail muttered.
The two of them soon reached the end of the tunnel, and the intensity of the moonlight coming from within caught them both off guard. Ruby shielded her eyes with her arm, while Glide landed and did the same. The room came into view as their eyes adjusted to the sudden suffusion of light, and the setting began to reveal itself. The dome-like cavern was illuminated by bright beams of moonlight that bounced off the walls in a radiant splendour that was as beautiful as it was unnatural. It was not real light, but instead a reflection from a shiny coating that covered the rocks on the ceiling in certain places. Amazingly, the only source they could see of this strange light was a hole in the roof that seemed to be lighting the entire cave. The floor dropped off shortly in front of where the fastrunner and the wingtail were standing and gave way into a cold clear pool of water. In the centre of said pool was a large rock spire that poked out like a thorn, peaking with a small plateau.
On top of the rock-spire bathed in the unnatural moonlight was a navy blue wingtail… the same one that they had seen enter the previous day. He was sitting alone with his back to them, and his echelon shaped tail flicked from side to side as he held a clear glass rod horizontally to his face. Ruby could tell that this was the source of the strange sound – the wingtail was making it. As he played the glass flute, his fingers randomly rose up and down coinciding with changes of pitch and rhythm. Thankfully, he hadn’t noticed them yet.
Ruby wasn’t really sure what to make of him. Apart from that caring female at the Sonicron incident she hadn’t met a nice wingtail anywhere in her travels, so it made her nervous approaching this new one. On the other hand though, anyone who makes music that serene and beautiful can’t be that mean. A quick glance to her right told the fastrunner that Glide was preparing for a fight, so it was up to her to provide a good introduction. She was having to do it so much lately, Ruby was actually getting pretty good at it.
“Hello,” greeted Ruby firmly, “that sounds really pretty...”
The wingtail ceased his musical course, and lowered the glass flute without turning around. Glide tensed up, ready to spring if he attacked.
“I’m glad you like it,” responded the wingtail courteously as he slowly turned around, “I admit the Cordifier is one of my more sensually pleasing creations…”
The navy blue wingtail had completely turned around to face them, yet his eyes were solely on his musical creation instead of the fastrunner and black wingtail in his midst. He appeared to be examining it for something neither of them could see.
“Ah that’s it!” he said in excitement, “the tone was a bit high thanks to the flaw within the fourth to right hole causing it to vibrate in harmony with the second to left hole, a problem easily fixed by a slight amount of stonic calibration…”
Glide raised an eyebrow, and glanced over at Ruby who hadn’t understood a single word of what the wingtail just said either. She shrugged innocently, and Glide turned back to the navy wingtail who was still talking without even looking at them.
“But wait,” he said to himself, “perhaps the real flaw is in actuality inside the core vibrational flux intake that-”
Glide cleared his throat loudly, interrupting the wingtail’s reverie and causing him to look up at them for the first time in the encounter.
“Ah yes guests… I had forgotten.”
The navy wingtail leaped into the air, landing close by the runner and her guardian with barely a sound. Both Glide and Ruby jumped back a step, still unsure if they could trust the newcomer. The fastrunner opened her mouth to speak, but he stopped her by raising his hand.
“Since you both have entered my home unannounced, allow me first to introduce myself.”
The navy wingtail reached into his wing and pulled out the oddest glass instrument that Ruby had seen so far. It was two circular lenses – each similar to the Occular in size and shape – held together by a long tube of glass that separated them by a few inches. He placed the trinket on his nose so it fit perfectly behind the horn-like crest that all wingtails had and was in front of both his eyes.
“Pardon, but my vision is not what it used to be,” stated the wingtail as he noticed the looks of shock and wonder on both their faces.
“Who… who are you?” asked Ruby.
The wingtail smiled smugly, and bowed deeply careful to not to brush his wings on the dirty ground.
“I am Aizon, Master of light, sound, sight and most importantly… glass,” recited the navy wingtail like he enjoyed saying this, “like my great grandfather Benzon and my fathers I also bear the title: Grand Creator of the Wingtails.”
Impressive, even by Glide’s standards.
“Welcome to my humble home.”
Aizon pushed a nearby shiny rock, and suddenly the entire cavern was illuminated even brighter then before. Looking around, Ruby could see that the shiny stones were actually mirrored plates of glass that were reflecting the light from above. The design and arrangement was absolutely ingenious, directing light where previously there would have been none.
Now that the cave was fully lit up, the pair of them could see a collection of roosts adorning the walls, each one holding strange creations of glass that neither one had ever seen before. In some places water was being channelled through clear tubes and into other parts of the cave, while other places contained rows and rows of small figurines depicting dinosaurs of all types, and possibly some invented ones. To someone like Glide who was into shiny objects, this place was near heaven.
“Wow,” remarked Ruby as she took in the whirl of wondrous objects that beheld her.
“Yes yes it is lovely isn’t it?” affirmed Aizon, “but I believe it is now time for you to introduce yourselves to me.”
Ruby took a moment to gather her thoughts, and then proceeded.
“I’m Ruby… a fastrunner. I come from the Great Valley, but the Great Valley isn’t where I really come from. My friends and me have come a long way, and we are lost.”
Aizon nodded briefly and turned to Glide, who didn’t say anything and just glared.
“That’s Glide,” cut in Ruby, “he’s our friend and he’s keeping us safe.”
The navy wingtail seemed to fall back into thought, and for a minute or two did not respond. Finally he seemed to reach a conclusion and piped up.
“Ah so you two are the ones that participated in Eybron’s interesting experiment with my great-grandfather’s sound projecting device? How exquisite,” stated Aizon with an excited clap of his hands.
“Tell me everything… how long did she vibrate?… what was the pitch?… how loud did you scream?.... how-”
A quick glance around told Aizon that perhaps these weren’t the most popular questions to ask. Ruby had started shaking, while Glide was growling loudly at the mention of his hated foe’s name.
“… a sensitive subject I presume?”
“What do you think?” butted in Glide aggressively, “that white wingtail is responsible for far more misery and death then anyone else!”
The black wingtail poked Aizon in the gut with the end of his finger.
“And it’s your fault he could do it in the first place!”
Aizon rubbed his hands and recomposed himself.
“That might be true, however you are incorrect about one very important thing… as cruel as his methods are you must see that Eybron is not the worst being in our world.”
Glide scowled.
“Then if you’re so smart… who else is there that could match that backstabbing murderer?”
A look of horror crossed Aizon’s face very briefly, an unusual expression for one so intelligent and in control.
“Could it be…” he whispered, “that you do not know?”
Glide and Ruby looked at each other, confused at what the navy wingtail was talking about. Not waiting for an answer from them, Aizon pushed through with his hand on his head in thought. Reaching the tunnel that led out of the cave, he turned around and addressed them.
“I need you both to come with me… there is something you need to see.”
…
Two hours after the first meeting, Aizon had led Glide and Ruby into a clearing far outside the canyon where their friends were calmly asleep into the unknown lands beyond. It was dazzling, but also terrifying for Ruby to be up this high and she had to hang on tight to Glide’s feathers so she wouldn’t fall off. The black wingtail didn’t like it one bit, but he held back saying anything and bore the burden without mention. Finally Aizon landed in a medium sized tree amongst a forest far from anywhere the fastrunner had ever been, and Glide obliged by landing next to him.
As Ruby slid off onto the thick branches, the black wingtail gave a sigh of relief. She was heavy, and it had taken a considerable effort on his part to get them this far. He grumbled to himself that whatever the ëGrand Creator’ intended for them to see, it better be worth it.
“Keep your eyes on that clearing young runner,” Aizon said in a hushed tone as he pointed to a particularly desolate patch of earth a hundred meters away, “and keep your voice down… there are beings here who would consume us in a second.”
Silently, Ruby wondered what they could possibly be… were there sharpteeth here?
“This forest lies on the border of a place once called the ëOasis Valley’,” continued Aizon in a serious manner, “but very recently it has acquired a new name… Fang Valley.”
As if on queue, a hornbill emerged from the mists and entered the clearing. He staggered about, as if he had just been awoken and still hadn’t gained his bearings. As the two wingtails and Ruby watched, he stumbled about and then finally fell to his knees.
Something wasn’t right here.
“We have to go help him,” Ruby suggested urgently, “he looks hurt.”
Aizon ignored her, and continued to watch along with Glide. A moment passed, and then Ruby saw dark shapes emerge from the sides of the clearing. A flash of red eyes and a vicious white tooth told her that they were sharpteeth. The hornbill was surrounded!
“Watch,” insisted Aizon, “and remember.”
The hornbill collapsed entirely, and Ruby looked on in terror as his doom fell upon him. He didn’t even let out a cry as the sharptooth butchered him, and tore apart his carcass. As the terrifying ordeal continued, tears starting running down the fastrunner’s cheek and she had to stop herself from openly crying. Instead, her stomach churned and she thought she was going to be sick.
Out of the blue, Aizon grabbed her. Ruby looked back at him in surprise before realizing that she had been about to fall off the branch… he had saved her. She could see the look of sorrow on his face as well, and he gently wiped a tear away from under her eyes.
“Every seven great circle rises it happens,” he said in lament, “the denizens of this valley sacrifice one of their own to appease their rulers. It has been going on for so long now that the dinosaurs here have become inured to the reality in front of them, and just before they are due to be sent to die… they are fed sleeping herbs to eliminate the pain.”
“B-but… why?” sobbed Ruby.
She didn’t understand who could be so cruel.
“Tyron,” responded Aizon, “his sharptooth empire needs to be fed, and in order to do that they defy nature and make it their slaves… subjugating leaf-eater vallies as they see fit and convincing them the only way to save themselves is to die slowly… one dinosaur at a time.”
Aizon’s expression hardened, and Glide looked on in hate as the sharpteeth wrapped up their cleaning of the corpse.
“But what can we do to stop them?” asked Ruby, who had now regained her composure.
“Not we,” answered Aizon, “…you.”
The navy wingtail placed a hand on her shoulder, and Ruby realized that she had found a wingtail whom she could admire.
“Tyron now holds the Sonicron, the fruit of my great-grandfather’s legacy. Should he discover how to do what Eybron did with you… none of us will be safe.”
Aizon turned towards the horizon, where the sun was just coming up.
“We wingtails can only do so much alone… if we are to prevail against Tyron, then we will need help. The jungle runners of the Abyssal Jungle have been our enemies for generations, and yet now we need them as allies if we are to win through. They will not listen to me, or any other wingtail in the world…”
The navy wingtail turned back to her and smiled.
“But I pray they will listen to you. Your fellowship of friends is stronger then any inter-racial bond I have seen yet and I have absolute confidence that with all your help we may break that hatred that divides us.”
Aizon hardened his expression again.
“Will you do it Ruby… for all of us?”
It didn’t take much thought for the fastrunner to know exactly what she needed to do. Now their journey would have a purpose… their pointless march into the unknown would bare fruit and help a race in dire need.
“I’ll do it,” said Ruby… and she absolutely meant it.
Impressed with her conviction, Aizon pointed towards the direction they had come from.
“When you return you will need to follow the river up into the jungle. Once you reach the mouth of the river, seek out the one known as Siak. She will help you find the jungle runners, and hopefully gain their trust.”
“But… how will I know her when I see her?” asked Ruby.
Aizon chuckled to himself, as if it was some sort of inside joke.
“I trust that you will have no issues identifying her on sight. She is…. hard to miss.”
And on that note, the group of two wingtails and the fastrunner headed home to the canyon, driven on by purpose once again.
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So, it looks like one adventure leads to another :). It'll be interesting to see how Ruby's interaction with the Junglerunners goes :yes.
I do share Cera's view that Glide is kinda creepy. I'm not sure, but he just seems weird in a not-so-good way :blink:.
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Caustizer, sometime I promise to "deep review" all the chapters that I missed while I was working on Twilight Valley and a chapter of Cornova's story PokÈ Wars: The Recrudescence.
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That was a great read! :lol:
So we have a new character, the Great Creator, Aizon.
Never thought of wingtails wearing glasses :p (reminds me of my old avatar. Could it be that it inspired you somehow? :lol).
As you might already know, I can't wait for the next chapter. :)
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I was so excited about this chapter that my adrenaline started flowing when I first saw that it had been posted. :smile
This whole chapter focused entirely on a single group of characters. I don’t think you’ve ever done that before! :wow (not counting the subdivisions of Parts III and IV in Act III). This was also another example of a chapter whose (excellent) quality did not depend on the level of action in it. :yes
I love that you delved a bit into the lesser-known side of Ruby’s dietary nature early on in this chapter, portraying her as having an inclination to eat meat, but not one that she would satisfy by hunting dinosaurs. When you say that fast runners are scavengers, I assume you mean that they prefer sources of meat that are easy to acquire in general (fish, shellfish, insects, and possibly hatchlings and small animals), rather than strictly carrion and eggs.
I also really like how you introduced the character of Aizon. He’s a little . . . peculiar, but I’ve already become rather fond of him. :yes
Speaking of Aizon, you described his tail as being shaped like an echelon. If you’ll pardon a stupid question, what would that look like? :oops
You know, Sky’s old avatar was exactly what I thought of when Aizon first put on his glasses. :lol Actually, considering their expertise in glassmaking, it’s not that surprising that wingtails would figure out how to use it to correct failing vision, inventing glasses and monocles. (Imagine a wingtail with a monocle! :lol)
Boy, would I love to see what the inside of Aizon’s home looks like. I’m guessing it would be extremely difficult to depict artistically, however.
By the way, what kind of dinosaur is the hornbill supposed to be? (I’m assuming it’s different from the present-day bird called a hornbill (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hornbill). :p)
Again, you did an excellent job highlighting Tyron’s cruelty in this chapter. Aizon, however, strikes me as a bit suspicious himself. I suppose perhaps his scientific interest in the Sonicron got the better of him, but still, I’d expect him to be more concerned and sympathetic to the damage Eybron caused with it. Then again, maybe just I’m paranoid, suspecting everyone of being a potential villain. :rolleyes
One more thing: If the title of “Grand Creator” is passed down through Benzon’s family, who’s going to succeed Aizon? Does he have a descendant somewhere?
On to proofreading:
The night sky shone in from the narrow fissure opening above* giving the illusion of both entrapment and protection.
*Comma.
Tomorrow they planned to investigate who that mysterious visitor Chomper had mentioned was, and whether he was one of Eybron's wingtail's or not.
Should be ”wingtails”, with no apostrophe.
Fast runners were scavengers by nature, much like egg-stealers, so just like the leaf-eaters* killing for food did not come natural to them.
Should be “naturally”.
*Comma.
Ever since they had spotted that other wingtail* he had been staring at the cliffs above, expecting an attack ** any moment.
*Insert comma.
**Insert “at”.
A few minutes later the fastrunner and the threehorn had climbed a rock plateau on the side of one of the canyon walls, and the view was gorgeous. From the vantage point they could see the entire cavern-valley* including their resting place. Their friends were visible only has shadows except for Glide, who stuck out like a black stain on the rock under the twilight.
Should be “as”.
*Comma.
Ruby looks a little bit uncomfortable about the prospect of keeping things like this from their friends, but otherwise was curious as to what the threehorn would have to say.
Should be “looked”. Actually, given that the rest of the sentence appears to be written from her perspective, “felt” might be an even better replacement.
Ruby glanced down at Glide, who was scanning the top parts of the wall where Chomper * said the wingtail had landed.
*Insert “had”.
"Spying on us?" she questioned, "but why*... he hates the other wingtails."
“What did I just say*…” the wingtail muttered.
*Question marks.
On the other hand* though, anyone who [COLOR]makes[/COLOR] music that serene and beautiful [COLOR]can’t[/COLOR] be that mean.
Should be “made” and “couldn’t”. Optionally, you could also add “she thought” (or something similar), preceded by a comma, at the end.
*Comma.
I’m being extremely nitpicky here, but I couldn’t help but remember this line from Act III, Part IX:Gentry raised an eye line, since dinosaurs don’t have eyebrows.
Then, in this chapter, you have this line:Glide raised an eyebrow, and glanced over at Ruby* who hadn’t understood a single word of what the wingtail ** just said either.
Is this soemthing you would need to change, or does wingtail plumage grant them the privilege of having eyebrows to raise? :p
*Comma.
**Insert “had”.
Two hours after the first meeting, Aizon had led Glide and Ruby into a clearing far outside the canyon where their friends were calmly asleep * into the unknown lands beyond.
”The” should probably be “their” (or could even be removed entirely). Also, it looks like something is missing from here*. Judging by the text that follows this section, I’m guessing you would have described Ruby climbing onto Glide’s back again and him and Aizon taking off.
As if on queue, a hornbill emerged from the mists and entered the clearing.
Should be “cue” (a prompt). “Queue” refers to a waiting line, a sequence, a curl, or (in verb form) to arrange into one of the above.
“Tyron,” responded Aizon, “his sharptooth empire needs to be fed, and in order to do that they defy nature and make it their slaves… subjugating leaf-eater vallies as they see fit and convincing them * the only way to save themselves is to die slowly… one dinosaur at a time.”
”Vallies” should be “valleys”, and I think “slaves” should be singular.
*Insert “that”.
Now their journey would have a purpose… their pointless march into the unknown would bare fruit and help a race in dire need.
Should be “bear”.
I’m really, REALLY excited for the next chapter. :smile (No matter which group it follows, I’m aching to see what happens next. :DD)
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Speaking of Aizon, you described his tail as being shaped like an echelon. If you’ll pardon a stupid question, what would that look like? :oops
Aizon's echelon tail looks similar to a whale's tail, but with a bit more of an edge like the echelon you might see on a street sign. I was trying to think about what kind of tail a really smart wingtail might have (Sky is much better at that then me) and this was the best one I could come up with.
By the way, what kind of dinosaur is the hornbill supposed to be? (I’m assuming it’s different from the present-day bird called a hornbill (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hornbill). :p)
The hornbill is not the bird, but one of the generic dinosaurs that we see very often in the Great Valley but never contribute to the story. The idea for this scene was to introduce a race that nobody really mentioned or cared about in the movies so the scene is more remembered as a 'sacrificed dinosaur' then a 'sacrificed longneck' or 'sacrificed threehorn' etc.
I think Isis did a good drawing of the generic valley dinosaurs on Deviantart, thats the artist that did the Therzinosaurus.
One more thing: If the title of “Grand Creator” is passed down through Benzon’s family, who’s going to succeed Aizon? Does he have a descendant somewhere?
Aizon currently doesn't have a mate, mainly because he is 'married to his work' so to speak, but that's not to say he won't find someone who shares his interests at some point. I don't want to focus on this in the story however, since there are enough characters to account for as it is. :angel
Caustizer
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Aizon's echelon tail looks similar to a whale's tail, but with a bit more of an edge like the echelon you might see on a street sign. I was trying to think about what kind of tail a really smart wingtail might have (Sky is much better at that then me) and this was the best one I could come up with.
So . . . sort of a broad ëV’ shape?
The hornbill is not the bird, but one of the generic dinosaurs that we see very often in the Great Valley but never contribute to the story. The idea for this scene was to introduce a race that nobody really mentioned or cared about in the movies so the scene is more remembered as a 'sacrificed dinosaur' then a 'sacrificed longneck' or 'sacrificed threehorn' etc.
I think Isis did a good drawing of the generic valley dinosaurs on Deviantart, thats the artist that did the Therzinosaurus.
Is this (http://isismasshiro.deviantart.com/art/LBT-Hadrosauridae-64788546) the picture you're talking about? If so, I'm assuming the “hornbill” is the Lambeosaurus the blue-green dinosaur in the center. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Oh, and I can add that name to the LBT Glossary, too. ;)
Aizon currently doesn't have a mate, mainly because he is 'married to his work' so to speak, but that's not to say he won't find someone who shares his interests at some point. I don't want to focus on this in the story however, since there are enough characters to account for as it is. :angel
Well, if the Grand Creator has to be a descendant of Benzon, then Aizon had better either take a mate or find a blood relative suitable for the position eventually, or he'll be the end of the line. :p
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I haven't forgotten about the next chapter of Far Away Home, but unfortunately it is still not close to being finished. Part of it was the excitement and drama of the Awards, and the other part is the exceptionally high number of family and friend events I have had to attend in these past two weeks.
Since I don't have anything new to post, I might as well give this thread a bit of substance.
As of now Far Away Home has about 8 Parts remaining including the Epilogue at the end.
The 'Far Away Home Marathon' I've been talking about will take place during the last three Parts 11, 12, and 13 so you all don't have to wait to find out the end of the story once it gets really good. For spoiler reasons I will not be giving out the Part names :smile
Part V is looking like it's going to be about Littlefoot and Sky, with possibly a bit of Eybron in there.
Caustizer.
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Part V: Reconciliation
Rain came to the land for the first time since its death from the sea. Announced by the howling of the winds and the crashing of the waves on a distant shore, the torrent began to wash away the black soot that had covered everything and to purge the Steppes of the volcanic poisons that filled it. Whether it was raining or not, it made little difference to Littlefoot as he pushed onwards towards whatever bleak hope existed beyond the horizon. Like Ali and Petrie, the longneck was relentlessly hungry and as his stomach growled repeatedly he found it difficult to think about anything else.
It seemed like there was next to nothing here for them… no food, no water, no friends and no rest. If things continued to remain the way they were the group of them would surely die, joining the bones of the other dead dinosaurs they passed along the way. It was nearly getting to the point now where Littlefoot envied them… at least they had nothing more to worry about. After nearly another hour of walking, Ali finally collapsed forcing the group to stop.
“I can’t keep going anymore Littlefoot,” moaned Ali, “I’m so tired…”
“Come on Ali,” insisted Littlefoot desperately as he nudged her, “we’re almost there… there’s green food just over the next ridge.”
“Littlefoot,” started the female longneck sadly, “we’ve been walking all day… there’s nothing but bones and dust everywhere.”
“Well we can’t give up,” declared Littlefoot with uncertainty as he turned towards Petrie on his back.
The flyer had arisen and was busy sniffing the air, holding his broken wing carefully so he couldn’t hurt it again. He hopped excitedly as he picked up the scent of something important.
“What is it Petrie?” asked Littlefoot in curiosity.
“Green food, me smell green food!” answered Petrie with glee.
Ali immediately perked up, and sniffed the air as well.
“Hey… Littlefoot I smell it too!” she added.
With an expression of joy and relief on his face, Littlefoot did the same and confirmed that the scent was in fact a real one.
“Come on guys,” laughed Littlefoot, “let’s go eat.”
The green food that the three of them had sensed was a grove that laid on the edge of the zone of devastation. It stood apart from the scorched rocky ground and drifts of volcanic ash as a place of recovery and peace. Beyond this point, the steppes became less of a wasteland and more of a savannah-like collection of grassy fields that carried on all the way to the Lush Valley. The denizens of this place had been lucky to escape the burning cloud of death, for it had passed close by before finally dispersing into the sea. Littlefoot and the rest of the much reduced gang didn’t care about these facts though, as they were completely and fully concentrated on the grassy bushes and small trees that were right in front of them.
“Green food!” shouted Littlefoot excitedly, and his mouth began to water as he ran.
The two longnecks and the flyer spread out and picked away at whatever they wanted to eat. As he chomped on a particularly strange tasting yet satisfying grass plant Littlefoot started to think about how much he missed the others they left behind. He wished they could all be back together again… him, Cera, Ducky, Petrie and Spike… just like it used to be. All the adventures they had came back to him… their unannounced trips away from their parents, the time the Great Valley caught fire, and the time Petrie’s uncle led them on that goose chase for the stone of cold fire.
Littlefoot sighed, and reached down his neck to pluck at some small prickly plants he had never seen before. He and Cera fought sometimes, but she was his best friend and she always came through in the end. He also couldn’t forget Ruby and Chomper though… they had come along with them more then once and he was starting to think of them as friends he and the others could count on. Ruby in particular was quite responsible and smart and the two of them got along very well. In short, the longneck decided he missed all of them.
“Littlefoot,” called out Petrie hesitantly.
The longneck raised his head and looked up at the flyer that had climbed halfway up one of the trees trying to get one of the fruits at the top.
“What is it Petrie?”
“Umm,” he mumbled with embarrassment, “me may need help getting down.”
“Sure,” affirmed Littlefoot, “I’ll-”
Littlefoot suddenly felt dizzy, like he had been running around in circles for a while. He nodded his head, trying to shake it off… but the feeling wouldn’t go away. Petrie looked at him in confusion.
“I just… I,” stammered Littlefoot.
The world was going dark, but it wasn’t because of the weather. Littlefoot didn’t have time to register anything as he stumbled a few times, and then collapsed to the ground.
“Littlefoot,” hollered Petrie, “…LITTLEFOOT!”
Ali heard what was going on and rushed over, noticing Littlefoot lying on the ground.
“Petrie…what happened what’s wrong with Littlefoot?” she asked frantically.
“Me no know,” replied Petrie in panic, “we talking and then… then he fall!”
Ali bent over and nudged Littlefoot vigorously.
“Littlefoot… speak to me Littlefoot, are you okay?”
He didn’t answer.
“What do we do?” stammered Ali as she too began to panic.
After a moment of stressed silence, the female longneck came up with the only idea she could.
“Sky…” she said, “We have to find Sky!”
“Me can’t go,” sobbed Petrie, “me can’t fly.”
“I’ll go,” she declared shakily, “keep an eye on him until I get back.”
Without another word, the female longneck turned and ran as fast as she could. Dodging the rocks on the rough ground, she disappeared over the hill in less than a minute.
“Please hurry!” begged Petrie, and he looked down at the unconscious Littlefoot with a dire expression.
He didn’t think to notice the bright purple juice oozing out of the plant that Littlefoot had just eaten.
…
Ducky looked up as her and Spike padded along the uneven black ground. Sky soared above, sometimes flying on ahead before circling back over top of them. He was watching their progress closely, and thanks to his guidance they were making good time. The wingtail had spotted the end of the ash-choked wasteland and was taking them towards it, ushering them on with promises of green food and water.
The swimmer was somewhat distressed, as the previous days events still weighed on her mind. She had never seen Littlefoot act that way before, and despite what happened to his father a part of her couldn’t help but think he was just taking out his troubles on Sky since there was no one else around to blame. It was saddening, but she knew that he would eventually come around… after all he was their friend and they had nothing but each other this far away from home.
“I miss Littlefoot, I do,” threw out Ducky in an attempt to express her feelings on the matter to Spike.
Spike groaned and nodded, before turning and carrying on.
Ducky knew her brother better then anyone else did, and she could see that he had an aptitude for knowing how good or bad other dinosaurs were. When Spike stood behind Sky, she did too because deep down she could tell he was trustworthy. Sky may have done things they did not understand in the past, but he never lied and always led them in the right direction into safety. Whatever reason the blue wingtail had for leaving them in the former Verdant Valley, Ducky believed he wanted for them to be safe. Hopefully, it was simply bad fortune that things turned out otherwise…
“Grassland lies just over these next few hills,” commented Sky as he flew low over top of the swimmer and the spiketail, “a short flight and we will all be there.”
“Good… I am really hungry,” replied the swimmer before adding, “…and Spike is too.”
A loud growl from Spike’s stomach had triggered the last statement, and the spiketail groaned in hunger pains.
“Not to worry,” insisted Sky with a reassuring nod.
Sky had been caught in the tide of events for a few days now, but as the normal routine of constant travel came back the wingtail’s thoughts turned once more to his love a long distance away. Recently, he had been wishing he and Star could be together in some far away home – away from the cruel leaders of the wingtails, the villainous sharpteeth, and the environmental catastrophes that had plagued his journey thus far. Now, he had started imagining a place where that might be.
His imaginary utopia was next to a lake teeming with fish, high up in the hills somewhere. Every morning when he woke up, the great circle’s light would bathe their roost and light up her scarlet feathers like a rainbow in the sky. They would go fishing, and he could show off his skills in air, swooping and looping over the crystal clear water as an expression of his happiness and joy. Then as twilight settled at night time, they would return to the roost just to sit and talk; romanticizing about when they first met and their adventures since then. Maybe then… if he was lucky… they would…
Sky shook his head to wake up from the dream. Unfortunately, the reality was that they were far apart and unlikely to even see each other again. Her brother absolutely hated him, and wanted nothing less then to turn him into bones. Glide would never agree to even let him live in peace… let alone consent to their mating to the elders. Not to mention the elders still thought he was a criminal and a thief and would send their scions to hunt him to the end of the Earth. No, Sky could no sooner live a dream like that then he could bring his parents back from the dead.
A strange movement caught the blue wingtail’s eye as he soared on the light wind. It had started to rain lightly, and he sensed that soon he would have to go to the ground to escape the bad weather. Looking closer at the object, he saw that it was in fact a young longneck and she was running erratically about as if she wasn’t sure where she was going. It was Ali!
Sky turned sharply and dove towards the longneck, which saw him almost immediately. As he came into earshot, the blue wingtail called out.
“Ali, where is –”
“Littlefoot,” said Ali as she caught her breath, “…he’s… in trouble.”
“Trouble?” asked Sky thoughtfully.
“He fell over… didn’t get up… need your help,” breathed Ali in distress.
Sky’s eyes widened.
“Where? Take me to him!”
…
Sky stood over Littlefoot, rubbing his chin in thought. As Ali, Petrie, Ducky and Spike looked on the blue wingtail lowered his head close to check the longneck’s breathing, and snapped his fingers a few times to check for responsiveness.
“He’s still with us,” mentioned Sky to a few sighs of relief, “…but barely. What was he doing when he collapsed?”
Ali looked towards Petrie, and nodded her head in his direction.
“Well,” started Petrie nervously, “me sitting up in tree… then we talking and he fall down.”
“Hmm,” thought Sky out loud, “… what was he eating?”
Petrie looked around, and then noticed the oozing purple plant that Littlefoot had taken a bite out of a few minutes ago. He lifted it up in both hands, and the flyer couldn’t hide his look of disgust.
“Bide-leaf!” declared the blue wingtail in shock, “Littlefoot has eaten poison.”
All around there were gasps, and expressions of panic.
“Children… I need you to look around for a three-leaf plant with a green stem and smooth edges,” explained Sky, “and do it quickly… there is no telling how much he ate and your haste will make the difference between life and death.”
In less than five minutes Ali, Ducky and Spike returned with mouth and armfuls of leaves of all different types that looked like Sky had described. It had taken every ounce of his strength, but Spike managed not to eat the plants in his mouth.
“Alright.”
Sky sorted through the pile and came up with six leaves that were the kind he needed. Separating them from the rest, he tilted Littlefoot’s head up and opened his mouth. Holding up the leaves, the blue wingtail suddenly realized a problem.
“These leaves need to be chewed to get down his throat… and I don’t have any teeth.”
The wingtail turned around to face the children.
“Somebody is going to have to chew these for him, and then spit them into his mouth.”
There were multiple looks of disgust at the idea, but with Littlefoot’s life on the line they were willing to do anything to save him.
“Ali,” said Sky with regret, “you’re the only one who can do it… I don’t like asking this but under the circumstances…”
“I’ll do it,” said Ali without doubt, “put them in my mouth.”
Sky obeyed, and as the female longneck took in a bit of the terrible taste she nearly gagged. Only the thought of what would happen to Littlefoot if she didn’t do it kept them in her mouth.
“Alright, that should be enough,” stated Sky.
The wingtail held Littlefoot’s mouth open, and Ali lowered her lips to his face. Not wanting to see what happened next, Petrie, Ducky and Spike all closed their eyes and looked away.
“Good,” confirmed Sky as he shut Littlefoot’s mouth and rubbed his throat to make sure it all went down.
A minute passed, and then another minute.
“Why nothing happen?” asked Petrie in dreadful confusion.
“Oh Littlefoot,” sobbed Ducky.
Sky continued to stare at Littlefoot for a sign.
“He needs more treestars,” declared Ali, and she snapped up another mouthful of the antidote Sky had picked out.
A few seconds of chewing and she was ready to do it again. Not waiting for Sky to fully open her friend’s mouth, she lowered her lips to Littlefoot once more. The moment she spat the mixture into his mouth, Littlefoot opened his eyes. As an event of bad timing, or simply bad luck he choked and spat out the mixture everywhere, completely covering Ali in spittle and half-chewed treestars. Sky had jumped out of the way, and avoided the mess.
For almost an entire minute there was absolute silence as Littlefoot coughed and recomposed himself. The longneck shook himself awake, and for the first time realized that he was on his back and covered in partially digested plants. His turned his gaze towards Ali, who was standing with her mouth open in shock and disbelief.
“Wow,” commented Littlefoot as he looked up and down her body, “what happened to you?”
Sky was the first one to laugh at the situation, and once he started everyone else did too and soon the entire group was abuzz with relieved laughter as the seriousness of the situation evaporated.
Ali’s expression of surprise changed into one of anger.
“That’s not funny,” she said defensively as she tried to scrape off the mess with the pads of her feet.
“Oh Littlefoot, me so glad you safe,” cried Petrie as he jumped into the air and clamped onto the longneck’s nose.
“Hey Petrie,” commented Littlefoot happily, “it looks like you wing is all better.”
Petrie’s eyes widened at the mention of his broken wing.
“It fine… Me can fly again!”
The flyer took to the air, and in the process made space for the rest of the dinosaurs who mobbed Littlefoot in their joy at his recovery. Ducky hugged him while Ali leaned forward and licked his cheek. Through the entire episode, the longneck had no idea what was going on or why they were hugging him, but he enjoyed it anyway.
Away from the celebration Sky sat with a smile on his face. Littlefoot noticed him and their eyes met. After a minute the longneck returned the smile, and nodded his thanks.
It looked like their fight was finally over, and the group was back together once more.
…
The rain intensified later as night began to fall, and the combination would have been demoralizing for the recently reunited group, where they not in such good spirits. They were tired, but well fed and on their way. Eventually Sky (who was forced to walk) found them a nice canopy where the trees shielded them from the driving rain. With the unexpected yet welcome shelter, the group all settled down to rest.
Sky sat on a protruding rock next to the tree trunk and ate a banana he had managed to peel off a tree on their way. It was a strange fruit to eat and Littlefoot watched with fascination as the wingtail pulled back the skin and ate the creamy inside in chomping bites.
“Would you like some Littlefoot?” asked the blue wingtail with courtesy.
“Sure,” answered Littlefoot, and he took a bite off the end that Sky had lowered to him.
It was delicious and unique, and the longneck found it reminded him of the tree-sweets in the hidden canyon. Luckily this fruit wasn’t being used to repel sharpteeth like those were, so he could eat as much as he wanted.
“Wow that’s really good,” commented Littlefoot as he rubbed his mouth with one of his front feet.
Sky smiled.
“I shall have to pick up some more then for the journey,” the wingtail said.
The statement made Littlefoot think of something that he had previously forgotten in the whirlwind of the days events.
“Sky… where are we going now?” he asked.
The blue wingtail put a finger to his chin, and thought about the problem.
“Hmm,” he thought out loud, “we cannot go back. Behind us is nothing but dust and yet ahead there is nothing but ocean…a perplexing and challenging situation if I say so.”
Sky looked to the horizon through the sheet of rain.
“Perhaps our salvation lies to the west, in a place called the Lush Valley. I have only heard of it, but if luck is on our side then maybe we will be welcome as travellers and friends. From there we will head south towards…”
A moment of strange silence.
“The Feral Forest.”
Littlefoot was confused why Sky would want to go back towards the wingtail homeland, especially since back there they were hunting him.
“I have to go back someday Littlefoot,” continued Sky, “and if they call me a thief then so be it… but at least they can’t call me a coward.”
They were bold words, and Littlefoot saw reason to respect his friend for saying them. He was reminded that he and the gang were not the only ones far from their real home.
“Hopefully when we arrive I will be able to find someone to take you all home.”
Littlefoot smiled and nodded in agreement. For once, he had had enough adventuring.
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So, Ducky and Spike have reunited with Littlefoot, Petrie, and Ali. Littlefoot and Sky are now on friendly terms again. This was a good chapter. I liked how they worked together to save Littlefoot from quite a nasty fate :yes. I hope they meet up again soon with Cera, Ruby, and Chomper.
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Yes! A new chapter! :DD A pretty good-length one, too, though it still ended too soon. :p Boy, just seven or eight parts left . . . it feels like there’s so little left of the story. :unsure:
Well, there you go; a good reason to have Sky around: he can identify all the dangerous plants and knows the cures to the poisonous ones. :p
I liked how you involved Ducky and Spike in this chapter, with another scene from their perspective containing a little exchange between them. (In case I haven’t suggested this already, it would be interesting if at some point you presented a narrative segment from Spike’s point of view to show how he thinks, similar to what you did with Petrie in Act III, Part V.)
It had taken every ounce of his strength, but Spike managed not to eat the plants in his mouth.
:lol
And it’s a relief that Petrie’s wing isn’t broken after all; I was wondering whether there would be enough time for it to heal before the end of the story.
By the way, something troublesome occurred to me recently: compared to the geographical directions given in the first LBT, the FAH map (http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/1797/brettsmap2.jpg) is upside-down. It was explicitly stated that the dinosaurs traveled west to reach the Great Valley; on the map, however, it lies east of the Shattered Lands (the location of the fissue created by the Great Earthshake). This would mean that all of the references in the story to “north” should be “south”, all references to “west” should be “east”, and so on. :o
The good news is, there were very few spelling and grammar issues in this chapter:
Rain came to the land for the first time since its death from the sea.
This is a rather confusing sentence. It’s even a bit misleading, since it sounds as if the land’s “death” came from the sea. I understand that you’re describing the first rain since the Black Mountain’s eruption, brought by clouds rolling in from the sea, but you might want to reword it.
and the time Petrie’s uncle * led them on that goose chase for the stone of cold fire.
She had never seen Littlefoot act that way before, and despite what * happened to his father a part of her couldn’t help but think he was just taking out his troubles on Sky since there was no one else around to blame.
Hopefully, it was simply bad fortune that things * turned out otherwise…
*Insert “had”.
“Hey Petrie,” commented Littlefoot happily, “it looks like you wing is all better.”
Should be “your”.
As much as I DO NOT look forward to the story being over, :p I’m excited as always for the next installment. :smile
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Yay! A new chapter! :lol: I totaly enjoyed reading this with full excitement. :smile
That was quite a close call. Glad that Littlefoot made it. :)
The only thing that bothers me is, that there are only 7 chapters including the epilouge left until this wonderful story ends. :cry
Hehe, I'm sure you know how I felt about Sky's utopia. :angel
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Thanks for the reviews everyone... you know I appreciate them. :smile
Since I'm such a nice guy, I'll try and have the next chapter of Far Away Home ready on the 14th, which is Pangaea's birthday :celebrate. I haven't forgotten about Sky's star-day present within the story either, but it's going to be an 'epilogue' thing.
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^ Why, thank you! That's so kind of you! :DD
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Well it wasn't easy, and it was quite the rush but I have done it! The next part of Far Away Home is ready, and unfortunately it is not well editted and likely to be covered in spelling and gramatical errors, so go easy on me in this area.
Without further ado, here it is. :angel
Happy Star Day Pangaea! :celebrate
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[Chapter redacted - please see below for the full version of Act IV Part VI]
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Ahh... that was a sweet chapter to read. :)
Hehe, and I think I have a new favourite character. :lol
Only 6 + epilouge more to read. I think I'll read this from the beginning again when there is only three chapters left. :p
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Thank you again, Caustizer, this was a fantastic star day gift! :smile :DD :lol
Admittedly, the second part of the chapter did feel a little rushed (one character introduced, two characters leave or are separated from the group, and another character returns, all very suddenly and withófranklyóa somewhat minimal amount of descriptiveness), but it was still great!
Things are looking pretty bad for the wingtails, though…and for the sharpteeth not affiliated with Tyron (I’m assuming not all of them are). If any of them cross the wingtails’ (war)path by mistake, they’ll be in trouble. :unsure:
I loved Siak! She was hilarious! :lol I can’t wait to see more of her. (I wonder what favor she owes Aizon for.)
And yikes…Thud’s back. :o Wonder what he’s up to now. :confused
To start with the errors…I noticed that you alternately referred to Siak’s species as “spike mouth” and “spike-mouth”. You ought to stick with just one. Personally, though, I think you should make it a single word, like the other species names that consist of a noun or adjective plus a noun (threehorn, wingtail, Sharptooth, longneck). Most two-word names seem to consist of a noun or adjective plus an action (fast runner, shell swimmer, egg stealer).
The three wingtails had been instructed by * royal guard to simply wait for the summons to come, so in the meantime they conversed quietly amongst themselves and discussed the reasons why they could possibly be wanted by the wingtail leaders.
*Insert “the” (unless the guard in question is not the same one who ordered them there in Part III, in which case, use “a”).
“My guess is that we will be changing our curriculum…more to suit the vengeful mood of the rest of the adults,” insisted Thriess, a gray male wingtail that was a few inches smaller then usual.
”Usual” implies that Thriess is taller most of the time. “Average” would be a better word choice.
“In my experience, you are likely correct,” added Syne* a yellowish-green female who had an aura of confidence about her, “the elders have rarely seen fit to tamper with our methods like this, which leads me to believe there will be more blood between our race and the sharpteeth… you can count ** it.”
*Comma.
* * Insert “on”.
“Well* I think that whatever it is, we aren’t going to like it,” contributed the scarlet wingtail, though she was still deep in thought about the matter.
*Comma.
The fact that Eybron had been summoned too, and was now currently inside the Elders’ Tree receiving whatever message they had for him - a punishment if she was lucky – disturbed her.
The highlighted and underlined symbol is a hyphen, while the corresponding one is a dash. They should both be dashes.
The venomous female hopped ahead and positioned herself where all the wingtails present could she her better and bear witness to her conviction.
Should be “see”.
“…And further more, we hereby grant Eybron the position of Archon of the Wingtails and grant him the authority to exterminate this threat by any and all means!”
Should be one word.
Essentially, it meant that Eybron could order any wingtail to perform any deed within the laws the elders had made* which could have terrible consequences for both her and her family.
*Comma.
The Abyssal Jungle was not known for being a friendly place, nor a forgiving one, but as the bright circle poked through the grey carpet of cloud cover and shined down on the wet leaves around the gang* Ruby remarked at just how beautiful the exotic forest was.
There’s another case of inconsistent term usage here. Throughout your story you’ve referred to the sun as the “Great Cirlce”, but here it’s the “bright circle”. Personally I prefer the latter term, but it would probably be easier for you to change it to “Great Circle” here rather than “Bright Circle” everywhere else. (I think it should be capitalized as well.)
Also, since Ruby doesn’t say anything here, I think the word you were looking for was “marveled”, not “remarked”.
*Comma.
“What has gotten into you Ruby?” questioned the threehorn impolitely, “we left Littlefoot and the others to get away from snotty stuck up wingtails, and now here we are being followed by one while we do exactly what another*one wants.”
*Insert space.
Ruby didn’t know what take of the situation and quickly looked back at Glide, who was struggling to get Gentry off him.
Did you mean “to make”?
“A wingtail named Aizon sent us to find you… he said that you could show us to the jungle runners –”
The dash here should have no space in front of it.
“Hmm, and odd crowed you have here,” the spike-mouth remarked, “it might be difficult bringing him in here…”
”And” should be “an” and “crowed” should be “crowd”.
An hour after the sudden departure of Glide, Siak * led them deep into the Abyssal Jungle** just like she * said she would.
*Insert “had”.
**Comma.
The villain growled and bared his teeth, but rather then striking he glanced backwards once, and then beckoned Chomper to follow.
Not necessarily a mistake, but “villain” isn’t a great word choice in my opinion, considering the ambiguity of Thud’s alliances and the fact that he’s not really evil. “Predator”, “sharptooth”, or “fast biter” would probably be better.
I’m VERY excited for the next chapter, even though it means we’re drawing ever closer to the end… :cry
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Admittedly, the second part of the chapter did feel a little rushed (one character introduced, two characters leave or are separated from the group, and another character returns, all very suddenly and withófranklyóa somewhat minimal amount of descriptiveness), but it was still great!
I felt that way too, but keep in mind I normally don't do an entire chapter in 6 days (or was it 5 :x) so I ran out of time to do the second part when the first part had been done on a weekend where I had plenty of time to go over and edit it.
I had wanted to include things like Siak's origins... Glide's reasons for leaving... etc. but in order to have it posted for your birthday those elements had to be omitted. From now on, Star day or no star day I'm taking as much time as I need to produce the desired result. :angel
Also just as a side note, my star day is in another month :p
Caustizer.
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I felt that way too, but keep in mind I normally don't do an entire chapter in 6 days (or was it 5 :x) so I ran out of time to do the second part when the first part had been done on a weekend where I had plenty of time to go over and edit it.
Yeah, I know. I feel guilty about that. :oops
I had wanted to include things like Siak's origins... Glide's reasons for leaving... etc. but in order to have it posted for your birthday those elements had to be omitted.
I would still really, really like to see the chapter with all of that in it. (Had I known just how much of a crunch it was for you, I would have told you I preferred a late star day present that was complete rather than an unfinished one that I received on time. Darn me, I should have told you anyway, but I didn't think of it. :bang) Can you still add them? I (and I'm sure the other readers) would definitely not mind reading it again as a more complete version.
Also just as a side note, my star day is in another month :p
I think it's the least I can do to try to return the favor. I'll do my best to whip up something special for you by that date. ;)
P.S. Did you get my PM?
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Hello,
At Pangaea's request I have 'remastered' the chapter to provide a bit more depth then was previously present. Note that the first part is the same, but the ending portion is significantly longer and more developed.
Please accept my apologies for not releasing the full and complete chapter, and grant me the fortune of a second review. :angel
Also, a special thanks to Pangaea for offering the idea of 'Siak' whom is his OC.
Caustizer.
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Part VI: A New Friend [Remastered Version]
It was night time in the Feral Forest, and the leaves whispered with the song of dire events to come. The place had become near ghostly, as families refused to let their children out of sight and free flight was impeded by the older males who now patrolled the skies ensuring both safety and compliance with the elders’ rules. The only things that would occur now were hushed bedtime stories, the occasional snore, or the gentle rustling of the trees.
Despite the curfew, a certain group of wingtails gathered silently on a branch at the bottom of the Sonicron Hill. Star and the other two teachers had been given some time to meet prior to coming before the council of elders, as Eybron was the one they wanted to speak to first. The three wingtails had been instructed by royal guard to simply wait for the summons to come, so in the meantime they conversed quietly amongst themselves and discussed the reasons why they could possibly be wanted by the wingtail leaders.
“My guess is that we will be changing our curriculum…more to suit the vengeful mood of the rest of the adults,” insisted Thriess, a gray male wingtail that was a few inches smaller then usual.
“In my experience, you are likely correct,” added Syne a yellowish-green female who had an aura of confidence about her, “the elders have rarely seen fit to tamper with our methods like this, which leads me to believe there will be more blood between our race and the sharpteeth… you can count it.”
Star looked uncomfortable at the discussion.
“Well I think that whatever it is, we aren’t going to like it,” contributed the scarlet wingtail, though she was still deep in thought about the matter.
The fact that Eybron had been summoned too, and was now currently inside the Elders’ Tree receiving whatever message they had for him - a punishment if she was lucky – disturbed her. Whatever the white wingtail had done, there was no way his little stunt could have killed Sky. He was too smart to be dead… she just knew it. It was the main thing that kept her from grief and despair, and it gave her the will to continue to teach even amongst the chaos and death that was abound these days.
Thriess opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted when the brownish-green royal guard swooped in and landed on the branch across from them, like it was beneath him to roost with their lot.
“The elders will receive you now,” he said with an impassive expression.
A short flight later and Star and the other teachers entered the Elders’ Tree. They were positioned directly across from the four remaining elders, who had repositioned themselves according to their status within the council. There were a male and a female along the left, and Cinceel occupied the center with Theanol on the right. All of them were watching intently as the guests settled in. Normally the council would consist of six members, representing the six largest and most influential families in the forest, but thanks to Tenebron and the Old One’s deaths the positions were currently vacant.
To her left, Star noticed Eybron sitting on a branch alone. A triumphant smile adorned his face – a sign that whatever he had been summoned for it had worked out well for him. She knew that if something was working out well for the white wingtail, then everyone else wasn’t going to like it.
“Welcome teachers, to the Elders’ Tree,” introduced Theanol the green wingtail in a booming voice so that all present could hear him, “you have been called here on the basis of a change in instruction which we feel is necessary.”
Were they have been out of sight, Star was sure that the other two teachers would have rolled their eyes. It was just as expected.
“The children are to be taught how to react to sharpteeth threats,” asserted Cinceel aggressively, “…whether to flee, or if possible to take them down.”
The forwardness of the female elder made the other three uneasy, but nonetheless they continued. This didn’t prevent the feathers on the back of Star’s neck from rising though as she figured out the reason why they had been called here – the elders were going to make Eybron a teacher!
“I volunteer to perform that duty,” responded Thriess confidently, “if that is what you wish it of me.”
Thriess was the fishing teacher, and at least once a day he would take out the latest generation onto the lake to instruct them on the finer points of catching and eating fish. Of course, his class was the children’s favourite because they got to eat! Syne taught probably the most important class of all – story speaking. It was through her that all wingtail history was passed, though many times the young ones she taught didn’t fully appreciate the significance of the knowledge.
Meanwhile, Cinceel had raised a hand to her chin and was tapping it softly as if debating on what to say next.
“Alright Thriess… you will take on this class in addition to your fishing one with our blessing.”
Thriess bowed slightly at the privilege.
“Now that that business is taken care of you are all dismissed,” stated Theanol with a wave of his hand, “goodbye, and goodnight to you and your families.”
Star, Syne and Thriess were just about to leave when Cinceel interrupted.
“Hold on,” she said in annoyance, like Theanol’s dismissal had insulted her.
“I think it is time we made an important announcement.”
Theanol sighed, like he was hoping not to reveal the more unpleasant topic until a later time.
“After much deliberation,” continued Cinceel, “it is the verdict of this council that the sharptooth attack on our precious monument and our kind was an act of war… and one that is to be punished in kind…”
The venomous female hopped ahead and positioned herself where all the wingtails present could she her better and bear witness to her conviction.
“From this day forward all sharpteeth are our enemies, and are forbidden to set foot or claw inside the Feral Forest. Those who disobey our declaration and choose to remain shall be sentenced to death!”
The wingtail spat the last line, hoping for some sort of objection which she did not get.
“…And further more, we hereby grant Eybron the position of Archon of the Wingtails and grant him the authority to exterminate this threat by any and all means!”
Star gasped, as did the other two teachers next to her. Even the royal guard who was normally impartial widened his eyes in surprise. Archon was an ancient title given only to an exemplary individual in a time of great need. Essentially, it meant that Eybron could order any wingtail to perform any deed within the laws the elders had made which could have terrible consequences for both her and her family. The last one to hold the position was Benzon, who had used it to gather all the males in the forest to unblock a dam that had nearly caused the Abyss Lake to dry up.
“Now you are all dismissed,” declared Cinceel with a dirty glance in Theanol’s direction.
To his credit, the green wingtail ignored it.
As Star left with the others in a depressed state, she took a single glance back and saw that Eybron was looking right at her. The white wingtail was beaming, his face revealing exactly what her future held in store. For the first time in a while, Star wished Glide was here to protect her.
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The Abyssal Jungle was not known for being a friendly place, nor a forgiving one, but as the bright circle poked through the grey carpet of cloud cover and shined down on the wet leaves around the gang Ruby remarked at just how beautiful the exotic forest was. The huge canopy trees provided enough shelter that they could continue on their way without being too disturbed. The floor was adorned with foliage of many strange and wonderful types the fastrunner had never seen before, and she found their scent thrilling.
Ruby, Chomper, Gentry, Cera, and Thylo followed the river just like the friendly wingtail had told them to, and had been marching along for nearly all of the morning. Unfortunately, Aizon had failed to be specific about what Siak looked like so it felt like they were on a hunt similar to finding the hidden runner. Glide circled above like a sentinel, lending his eyes, ears, and wings to their search.
“So you’re telling me that we are looking for someone you don’t know, have never seen before, for a reason you don’t know, all because some strange wingtail told you to?” butted in Cera as she forced her way to the head of the line where Ruby was.
The fastrunner thought about it a bit absent mindedly.
“Yeah,” replied Ruby with a friendly shrug, “what you said just about says it all.”
“Hrmm,” grumbled Cera with displeasure.
Having an eye to take out her anger on somebody, the threehorn tilted her head and glared at Glide who was sitting on a branch above. The black wingtail returned the favour, and for about ten seconds the staring contest carried on. Sticking out her tongue rudely, Cera broke away and carried on.
“My feet hurt,” complained Thylo as she looked at the ground and examined the bottoms of all her paws in stride.
“Well ya got four of them,” pointed out Gentry, “why not try running a leg short for a tick?”
Thylo was confused, and looked back at the egg-stealer quizzically.
“Try it like this shera mate,” Gentry said as he hopped twice on only one leg.
The green spiketail tried it too, but only succeeded in falling over… much to the egg-stealer’s amusement.
“Hey that looks fun,” added Chomper, “mind if I try?”
While Thylo, Gentry and Chomper had fun walking on one less foot then usual, Cera chose to again push the subject of the purpose of the journey with Ruby.
“What has gotten into you Ruby?” questioned the threehorn impolitely, “we left Littlefoot and the others to get away from snotty stuck up wingtails, and now here we are being followed by one while we do exactly what another one wants.”
Cera stamped her foot in rage.
“Can’t you see that they all hate us?”
“That’s not true,” countered Ruby with a bit of uncertainty, “… well maybe some of it is true, but what the truth really is is that it’s all different now. They need our help, so it’s up to us to help them!”
“Ha–,” began Cera, but her reply was cut short.
Glide landed directly in front of them with a Thudd, and held one of his fingers to his mouth in a silencing gesture. It was enough to cause not only Ruby and Cera to stop their conversation, but also to quiet down the others as well. With their attention assured, the black wingtail swept his arm in a broad motion, and pointed into the bushes ahead. Something or someone was in there.
Without a word, Ruby slipped past him and pushed her way into the bushes in the direction Glide had pointed. After a moment the underbrush cleared and the runner could clearly see what lacked like another runner standing up to its knees in the river. It was difficult to really tell however what it was, and Ruby squinted to try and get a better look. If it actually was a fastrunner, the colouring was a bit off… usually they weren’t a bronze hue with bright scarlet markings.
Approaching carefully, with the others creeping up silently behind in the ferns, Ruby tip toed up until she was right off the shore of the mysterious creature, nearly within striking distance.
“Hi,” introduced Ruby with courtesy, “we are lost and I was hoping you could help us find someone we are looking for.”
The runner took a methodical step forward, but did not take its head out of the water.
“Umm,” began Ruby again with uncertainty, “Hi... we are looking for someone named ëSiak’, can you help us?”
The stranger suddenly raised her head from the shallows and slowly turned to face Ruby. The most striking part of her appearance was not the thin pointed structure of her nose, or the teeth jutting out from the front of her mouth like daggers, but the veil of wet seaweed that now covered her face, obscuring her vision.
“Yes I believe I can,” she said as the sides of her mouth curled into a smile, “she is me.”
Ruby, Cera, and indeed even the rest of the gang had no idea what to think of Siak, and most of them just sat there with their mouths open. Ruby still had her hand up, like it was a class and she was asking a question.
“Hmm,” said Siak as she swung her head from side to side, “it would be nice if I could see you all… you’d almost think the night circle does this on purpose.”
“A… sharptooth?” said Chomper in both wonder and confusion.
“SHARPTOOTH!” shouted Gentry, and he jumped away so fast that only a cloud of dust remained where he had been.
Instinctively Chomper hid, and Cera followed suit with impressive speed. Soon the only ones around were Glide in a branch above, Ruby and Thylo. The spiketail simply looked on with wide eyes, like it was her dream come true.
“Oh that’s it… run away, just like the others,” said Siak with indignity as she crossed her arms.
“Umm, I’m still here,” pointed out Ruby making her look less silly for keeping her hand up so long.
“Are you?” asked Siak as she shook her head around again and sniffed the air, “what… where are you girl?”
Without thinking, Ruby reached out and slid the piece of water greens off Siak’s face. It slipped off easily, and immediately the spike mouth blinked rapidly and covered her eyes.
“By all that swims how did the bright circle suddenly get so bright?”
Regaining her vision, Siak looked around and saw the runner in front of her holding in her arms a clove of green food, and turned away, holding her arm out to block it like it was being presented to her.
“No thanks, I don’t eat that sort of thing.”
Ruby didn’t know what take of the situation and quickly looked back at Glide, who was struggling to get Gentry off him. The egg-stealer had latched onto him in fright, and the black wingtail was having a hard time getting him off. Cera and Chomper had risen slowly from the bushes in which they had been hiding, and Thylo was still staring like she had met her new idol. Seeing the situation was her responsibility, Ruby sighed.
“This was on your snout, it was blocking your eyes,” the runner stated.
“Oh…” replied Siak in surprise, “well, thank you girl for taking care of that. Ha, I must have looked awfully silly with that on.”
Ruby beamed, and nodded her head.
“A wingtail named Aizon sent us to find you… he said that you could show us to the jungle runners –”
“Bah,” interrupted Siak suddenly, “such rotten, annoying little birds. Do you know what one of them dropped on me the other day?”
Cera and Chomper looked at each other in confusion.
“I don’t know… what?” asked Cera with a roll of her eyes, like it was some sort of test.
Siak wagged one of her fingers.
“You don’t wanna know…”
In the tree above, Glide snorted in displeasure at the remark.
“Well… can you help us?” pressed Ruby, as if she was annoyed that the conversation wasn’t moving fast enough.
In response Siak laughed good-heartedly.
“Of course I can… I owe Aizon a favour, so if he sent you then we can call it even!”
The spike mouth stepped out of the water and shook herself off.
“Hmm, and odd crowed you have here,” the spike-mouth remarked, “it might be difficult bringing him in here…”
She was talking of course about Glide, and the black wingtail glared at her for a moment in indignity before nodding in response.
“Then perhaps it is time I left.”
He spread his wings, and turned away from the scene. Briefly measuring the wind, Glide made ready to jump into the air and take wing.
“Wait!” called out Ruby.
Intrigued, the black wingtail looked back.
“What?”
The fastrunner dashed over to him, and in a single moment wrapped her arms around his body. Glide was so surprised that he stood there, stunned that anyone would do such a thing.
“Thank you,” Ruby whispered sincerely, “…for everything you’ve done for us.”
Glide really didn’t know what to do, and peered over to the others for a potential clue as to how to respond to such outward affection. The children didn’t offer much help, while Siak crossed her arms and dawned a smug, knowing look. It sickened the wingtail to be in a situation so embarrassing.
“Umm… uhhh…”
With much effort, he pulled his mouth into a light smile and returned the gesture similar to how his sister had done many weeks ago.
“…you’re welcome.”
Siak clapped her hands twice in recognition for the difficult deed that shouldn’t have been difficult at all, which only served to annoy Glide even further.
In truth, the black wingtail had actually become quite fond of this group of hatchlings... for lack of a better description. He hadn't ever had any real friends before because of how consumed he was by both caring for Star and training for the Fish Fights that happened once a year, and he found that now that there were others that looked up to him he felt more whole inside. It had occured to him when Aizon mentioned going to the jungle-runners that perhaps he would not be welcome there, but it took the spike-mouth to bring him to his senses. If Glide was to follow them and obey his sister's instructions - as well as making sure they were safe - then it would certainly need to be done in secret.
After a moment the embrace was over, and the black wingtail had once again taken to the sky. As Ruby watched, she couldn’t help but think they wouldn’t see him again for a long, long time. As it would turn out, she was wrong.
…
An hour after the sudden departure of Glide, Siak led them deep into the Abyssal Jungle just like she said she would. The trees whistled with the strange and wonderful sounds of the local wildlife coming out of hiding as the rain subsided. The spike-mouth led the way into the endless green and sometimes got far enough ahead that Cera, Chomper and the others could barely keep up. Only Ruby managed to keep pace, and through the march engaged in conversation with their new friend.
"You're a sharptooth right," began Ruby, "... so how come you're so nice?"
"Oh I'm not that nice at all," laughed Siak, "...if you happen to be a water swimmer."
The statement held a lot of truth, thought Ruby, and she in turn realized that the only reason Sharpteeth came after them was not out of hatred, or vengence, or perhaps a racial feud but simply because they were hungry and didn't have a choice. Her next thought was of Chomper, and the inevitable future he faced. The fast-runner looked back in worry as she saw the small sharptooth shifting through the branches behind. She knew that someday, sooner or later, he wouldn't be able to satisfy his hunger with swimmers or flying buzzers anymore... and will turn on them as the most ancient of all processes takes its toll.
"If I may ask, what would a plains runner like yourself want with your more forest bound cousins? A reunion perhaps... or maybe a message of utmost importance to the safety and future of all dinosaur kind!"
"Something like that," admitted Ruby.
"Really?" replied Siak in disbelief as she started tapping the side of her face with her claws, "hah, I must be a better guesser then I thought!"
Ruby thought about how best to word what she was to do, and eventually came up with a good summary.
"Aizon wants me to convince the jungle-runners to join with the wingtails to stop the king of the sharpteeth."
Siak stopped walking entirely. The halt was so fast that Ruby almost bumped into her.
"That's got to be the silliest thing I have ever heard," chuckled Siak, "And mind you I have heard a lot of silly things!"
"It's true," retorted Ruby, "if we don't join with the wingtails, we will never have a chance to stop all the bad things he's doing."
The spike-mouth turned around to face the fast-runner and slowly looked from side to side, checking to see if anyone else was around and listening.
"Shut your mouth girl," snarled Siak, gripping Ruby by the shoulders, "there are more eyes and ears around here then just ours."
"Wha-what do you mean?" asked Ruby shakily.
"What I mean is keep your wits about you," Siak hissed, releasing Ruby, "Tyron's claw reaches far longer then you can imagine... so don't go blabbing off so everyone can hear you."
Quickly understanding the need for such measures, the runner nodded her head in acknowledgement.
"Mais did not listen, and look what happened to him! I will certainly not stand to have anything the same happen to you children, even if it means the death of me."
"Who was Mais?" asked Ruby naively.
Siak turned away, as if to hide the expression on her face.
"My mate," she said, unable to hide a bit of a titter in her voice, "...but we will not talk about him here."
The conversation ended there, and in the meantime things were providing different near the rear end of the line. The forest was getting thicker, and it was getting difficult for Chomper to keep up. At last he could not keep up the pace any longer, and stopped to rest. The others including Cera, Thylo and Gentry carried on, and soon they were out of his sight.
“Not to worry,” breathed the small sharptooth to himself reassuringly, “I can use my sniffer to follow them.”
But as it would turn out, his sniffer was picking up more then just his friends. A familiar scent hit Chomper’s nostrils, and he sucked in air vigorously for a moment to make sure it was indeed what he had smelt. Turning around, he gasped as he came face to face with the fastbiter, Thudd.
Backing up a few steps, he knew this time he was done for. He and Thudd were even, and now the fastbiter was perfectly within his honour to eat him on the spot. The raptor growled and bared his teeth, but rather then striking he glanced backwards once, and then beckoned Chomper to follow. Without question, the sharptooth obeyed and silently tracked along behind his once bitter enemy. What could Thudd possibly want?
"Thudd... where we going... why are you not eating me like you said you would?"
"Because," snarled Thudd as he reared around to glare at the small sharptooth, "there is something I need to show you."
"So does this mean we're friends?" asked Chomper with an eager grin on his face.
Thudd snorted jerked his head, as he if he was being pestered by a particularly bothersome fly.
"Have it your way."
Chomper felt a warm and fuzzy feeling inside as he followed the fast-biter deeper and deeper into the forest. Thudd was indeed his friend, after all this time of trying to convince him. Maybe then if Thudd could come around... maybe there was hope for the other sharpteeth too!
Up above in the gaps between the trees, the bright circle was visible once more as the rain finally pettered out and came to a halt. Soon... it would be starting again, for a storm was brewing in the far distance...
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Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Caustizer for posting this! :DD I’m sorry I gave you so much trouble about it.
I like the additions you made. It’s nice to see that Glide has warmed up to the gang, and, of course, I loved seeing Ruby get to know Siak more. :smile
So Siak had a mate once…and implicitly he’s dead. That’s sad. :cry How do you pronounce his name, by the way? Like “mace”, or “maze”, or “mize”, or something else?
If the others are going to refer to Siak by her species name (assuming “spike-mouth” IS her actual species and not just a descriptive title based on how the gang perceives her) at any point, you should have either Siak or someone who knows her use that name in front of them.
I’m still interested in hearing what the rest of the group thinks of Siak, but I can wait for the next chapter. :angel
In addition to the writing errors I pointed out in my first review, these are some I noticed while reading the remastered chapter, (a couple of which I think I missed the first time around :blink:):
Glide landed directly in front of them with a Thudd, and held one of his fingers to his mouth in a silencing gesture.
Should be “thud”.
After a moment the underbrush cleared and the runner could clearly see what lacked like another runner standing up to its knees in the river.
Should be “looked”.
He hadn't ever had any real friends before because of how consumed he was by both caring for Star and training for the Fish Fights that happened once a year, and he found that now that there were others that looked up to him he felt more whole inside. It had occured to him when Aizon mentioned going to the jungle-runners that perhaps he would not be welcome there, but it took the spike-mouth to bring him to his senses.
“Occured” should be “occurred”, with two “r”’s, and “Took” should be “had taken”. It’s also possible that “was” should be “had been”, but I’m not completely certain. :unsure:
"You're a sharptooth* right," began Ruby, "... so how come you're so nice?"
The comma at the end of the first part of Ruby’s line should be a question mark.
*Comma.
"Shut your mouth* girl," snarled Siak, gripping Ruby by the shoulders, "there are more eyes and ears around here then just ours."
Should be “than”.
*Comma.
Thudd snorted * jerked his head, as he if he was being pestered by a particularly bothersome fly.
”Was” should be “were”.
*Insert “and”.
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By the way, in case anyone’s interested, I made a picture of Siak as both a visual reference for Caustizer as he was writing the story, and to provide readers with an idea of what she looks like. It can be seen here (http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss2/Pangaean/LBT%20Fanart/sc00142a5c.jpg?t=1279856816) (If you want to add it to the series of pictures at the beginning of the thread, Caustizer, that’s fine with me :)).
Siak is a Masiakasaurus (pronounced, according to one of my sources, “mah-SHEEK-uh-SORE-us”), a small carnivorous dinosaur from the Late Cretaceous of Madagascar that is believed to have caught fish with its unique, forward-projecting teeth.
Her name is pronounced “SEE-ak”.
As with pretty much anything I draw, I’m not completely happy with the picture; I wish I’d been able to make the face (particularly the eyes) more expressive, for one thing. Also, this was done way back at the end of December, long before Caustizer had developed the character. Back then I expected Siak to be more of a jumpy, timid, even cowardly character, so I tried to make her expression and stance reflect nervousness and caution. I didn’t anticipate she’d end up as the quirky, mildly sarcastic individual she is in this story.
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Always happy to read something new. :^.^:
It was nice to read more about Siak and the Chomper and Thudd scene. :yes
^Pangaea
Nice picture by the way. Though, I imagined her totaly different. ^^;
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^ Thanks. :) Coming from you, that's a huge compliment. :wow
What DID you envision Siak as looking like?
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^Hmm...I envisioned her like a normal fastbiter, just a little younger than in your picture.
Though, I got confused about the term 'spike-mouth' since I never heard of a Masiakasaurus. :unsure: At least now I know. :lol:
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Ah. Admittedly, Caustizer, I do think you could have done just a teensy bit more to emphasize the uniqueness of Siak's appearance (particularly her teeth), and the fact that she was a type of dinosaur the gang had never seen before. But, I'm not going to pressure you to change the chapter again. :angel
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A bit of news. Now that I am back from vacation I have begun working on Far Away Home again, though I can't say the next part is going to be ready anytime soon. Now that we are getting close to the end it is becoming necessary to enlarge the chapters so everything fits meaning an increase in quality but also an increase in posting time.
Lately, I've been thinking about doing a set of short stories in between the ending of Far Away Home and the start of Into Black Sun to develop the universe a bit more apart from the main plot line.
Caustizer
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I like that idea. :yes I always love to see more writing from you. :smile You won't start those stories until after you finish Far Away Home, right?
One question, though: How are you going to reference the titular “Black Sun” within the story if the dinosaurs use the term “Bright/Great Circle” to refer to the sun?
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Just coming in with another update. Yesterday I spent a couple of hours working on the next part, and I think I have it about half done now. Inspiration is kinda low at the moment... mainly because there is so much ground to cover before I can properly end the story.
It's looking to be around 4000-5000 words at the moment, plus whatever changes I make through editing. Lots of wingtails, maybe a bit of longnecks. :smile
Caustizer
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Wait... do you mean the whole chapter will be about 4000-5000 words or you have 4000-5000 words half finished? :blink:
Either way, I can't wait to read more of it! :smile
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Part VII: The Lush Valley
The horizon was covered with a gritty haze as the great circle made its way back up the sky for another new day. The Abyss Lake was slightly disturbed by the tufts of wind that picked up at random intervals, bringing into the land an unpleasant chill. The red clouds of the morning were spread out ponderously, if not to intrude on each others space, and all around not even one of the lesser flyers that inhabited the Feral Forest had begun to sing. It was quiet and it was tranquil, and the scene suited Cinceel just fine.
The greyish female wingtail – so recently appointed the leader of the council of elders – sat and brooded silently, glaring at the crimson half-sun like it was just another enemy rising up to meet her. Although the decision to grant Eybron was unpopular amongst the other elders she had done it for a good reason. With such a powerful foe now prowling the shadows it was necessary to have a strong figurehead the other wingtails could rally behind. As much as she had disliked him Tenebron had been an excellent leader, and the same qualities were now visible in his only son… but that didn’t mean there were no questions to be answered either. It was to be seen whether the white wingtail would rise to the occasion or take advantage of his position to dispense more indiscriminate justice. Either way though, Cinceel was absolutely sure of one thing – Eybron would channel his anger and hate into destroying Sharpteeth, one way or another.
“My lady,” breathed the royal guard urgently as he suddenly burst through the leaves and onto one of the branches in Cinceel’s family tree.
The green wingtail’s usual passive demeanour had been broken, and that in itself was cause for alarm.
“What is it?” replied Cinceel with annoyance.
“Eybron…” managed the guard between breaths, “…took half the males…in the night… left the forest…”
“What!?!” shouted the elder in shock, causing the feathers on the back of her neck to stand up.
“He intruded upon the Tree of Relics,” continued the guard after a few moments of composing himself, “their master is dead… and the Cordian has been stolen.”
Cinceel couldn’t believe this. The Tree of Relics was where all the various works of the Creators were kept, some many generations old. Wingtails were by nature gatherers and keepers of shiny or precious objects, and the fact that they had an entire tree devoted to the best of them was a point of pride for their race. Why would Eybron – of the highest standing – perform such an act of murder and thievery?
“So he has abandoned us…” Cinceel stated direly.
“It would appear so my lady.”
The greyish wingtail brought a hand up to her head, and rubbed it. This was absolutely terrible… once the rest of the forest heard about this she would be in deep trouble. As if the wingtails weren’t divided enough on the issue of war with the sharpteeth, now there was a good chance she would lose her position on the council.
“There is something else,” continued the guard, “from what the witnesses saw, he had the Occular with him as well.”
The greyish wingtail turned to him in surprise.
“That is impossible,” she shouted, “Sky has it in his possession… he is the thief we have been hunting down!”
“Perhaps,” replied the guard sadly, “…you were mistaken.”
Cinceel sighed in admission, and waved the guard away.
“Wake the rest of the elders,” she said with a tinge of weariness, “let them know of this… betrayal.”
The guard hesitated instead of speeding to obey, a move that caught the elder wingtail’s attention.
“You have something else for me?” she questioned.
“There is a wingtail outside that wishes to speak with you… he says it is important.”
“Very well,” replied Cinceel uncaringly, “send him in.”
There was a soft sound of parting leaves behind her, and a swift click as feet dug into the outer bark of the branch.
“There is no need for that… I happen to be already here.”
The grey elder turned around sharply, coming face to face with a familiar navy blue wingtail.
“Aizon,” she stated with mild surprise.
“Grand Creator, master of sound, sight, and glass at your service,” Aizon said with a bow, tilting his head in respect.
“So,” began Cinceel distastefully, “here to rub the decision about Eybron in my face? Maybe trying to convince me I would have been better off taking you instead? You certainly are punctual about your distain.”
“Actually, I desire no such thing Lady Cinceel,” corrected Aizon as he absently cleaned off his glasses on one of his wings.
“Then why is it that you seclude yourself away from wingtail society, only to arrive when I have better things to do then waste my time talking to you?” the elder prodded as she crossed her arms.
Aizon cleared his throat, ignoring the insult.
“I come because I have a solution to your current predicament… a collection of realistic and fortitudous actions that would greatly benefit your position amongst your peers and would later elevate you in the eyes of the historical keepers… such as myself.”
Cinceel took a few moments to figure out exactly what the Grand Creator had said, before narrowing her eyes in suspicion.
“What is this ësolution’ you speak of?” she asked.
“Great things will begin to happen soon Lady Cinceel,” continued Aizon ignoring her question, “I do not know whether they will be advantageous or dire but I can express that you and the rest of the elders must be there to see them through.”
Aizon replaced the corrective lenses on his eyes, blinking twice to adjust his eyes to the new clarity of vision.
“… For all of us.”
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Unlike the massive cliffs that beheld Verdant Valley now many kilometres behind them, the Lush Valley was more subtle. It started as sporadic collections of vegetation and trees, which gradually thickened until it covered the earth like an immense blanket of green food just waiting to be eaten. It became obvious that they had arrived not when the plants grew thicker, but when seemingly out of nowhere the inhabitants began to appear. Flyers flew above, talking and laughing as they went about their daily business, while longnecks, spiketails, threehorns, and all manner of dinosaurs they were used to seeing back home went about their daily business regardless of the newcomers in their midst.
It was clear to Littlefoot that this place was used to farwalkers, as none of these inhabitants paid them the slightest bit of heed. Swirling around in the air above Sky had to dodge a few reckless youngsters who were involved in a game similar to tag. They simply apologised to him and carried on.
Eventually, the group stopped in a small unoccupied grouping of trees on the edge of a watering hole. As Littlefoot, Ali, Spike, Ducky, and Petrie all drank their fill from the comforting pool Sky picked a convenient roost overhead and furrowed his wings before addressing the young dinosaurs.
“We have come a long way my friends,” he stated proudly, “but far longer then I would have anticipated or liked.”
Littlefoot noticed that the blue wingtail did not use the term ëchildren’ for them anymore. Indeed, they had grown quite a bit since the start of the journey and changes in their appearance had begun to become known. Ducky for instance, had gained on Spike quite a bit in size and no longer rode on his back anymore. Spike too, had vertical sails beginning to sprout from his back and upper tail, though he didn’t seem to notice. Both him and Ali too had gotten bigger, and now had almost a foot in height over Sky. At the start of the journey, the wingtail had been taller then both of them.
“But we’re still behind you all the way,” remarked Ali with certainty.
Littlefoot and Petrie nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
“You are a good way knower…you are,” added Ducky with a smile.
Sky smiled warmly at the praise, and glanced over their heads to make a quick sweep of the valley with his eyes.
“Remember that you must stick together. I have not met with the leader of this herd, so we have no idea how welcome we are. It is possible that we may not be well received.”
Although all the young dinosaurs agreed with the assessment, it wasn’t really necessary to say. The group of them had become so dependant on one another that it was second nature to keep each other’s company for both safety and for trust. The world this far from the Great Valley had not proven to be such a nice place, so it made sense.
“Hey Sky,” mentioned Littlefoot as the wingtail made ready to depart, “…there’s something I want to talk to you about.”
The longneck looked a bit guilty, like there was something on his mind he wanted to get out.
“What is it?” asked the blue wingtail with concern.
“Well…” began Littlefoot, scraping the ground with one of his feet, “I’d just like to apologize for what happened back there on the fire grounds. It wasn’t right for me to be angry at you when it wasn’t your fault… and I–”
Sky silenced the longneck by tapping an extended finger on his lips.
“Let us not speak of it anymore,” the wingtail answered, “forgive…and forget.”
“Yeah,” added Littlefoot, “forgive and forget.”
…
A minute or so after the conversation, the wingtail was gone.
It had occurred to Littlefoot that going to the leader of every herd and valley they visited wasn’t exactly needed, but the more he thought about it the more he realized what Sky was up to… the blue wingtail was making friends everywhere they stopped. It made sense, since it seemed like the whole world was against them at this point. A massive group of Sharpteeth was following them taking over vallies as they saw fit, pushing around Sky like they were toying with trapped prey and wingtail assassins seemed to be coming after them at every turn. With a slight stab of sadness, the longneck remembered how his father had protected Sky when the other wingtails had came calling.
A small nudge from Ali informed him that he was getting behind, as Ducky, Petrie and Spike were already pretty far ahead.
“Come on,” she said excitedly, “we have a whole valley to explore.”
“Yeah,” replied Littlefoot half-heartedly as he looked around behind him in the way that Sky had gone.
Ali noticed.
“Don’t worry,” the female longneck said positively, “he won’t run away on us this time… not after all we have been through together.”
“It’s not that Ali,” sighed Littlefoot, “it’s just that this place reminds me of the Forgotten Forest… and my dad.”
The two longnecks walked along the edges of the large watering hole, which was so big that it was at least twice the size of anything in the Great Valley. Across the surface a group of young longnecks barely out of their eggs splashed loudly as they played under the close eye of their grazing parents nearby.
“I never really knew my dad,” commented Ali unusually.
“Really?” asked Littlefoot with a pang of eagerness, “what happened to him?”
“He and my mom didn’t get along very well,” answered Ali sadly, “right after I hatched he left and found a mate in a different herd.”
“Oh.”
“So you don’t need to be so sad about it,” the female longneck continued, “you were pretty lucky that you had so much time with your dad.”
“But it wasn’t nearly long enough,” mumbled Littlefoot in a bit of a whisper.
Ali smiled weakly, trying to think of a way to bring out the best of the situation.
“If it helps… maybe you could help me find something for Sky for his Star Day?”
Littlefoot gasped. He had totally forgotten about that. In the weighty events that had occurred since they first made the promise, the whole matter had been unfairly swept aside. If anything, it was a great opportunity to make things up with Sky for how he acted.
“Okay… that sounds like fun,” agreed the longneck as he nodded.
Ali pandered down to the shoreline and begun turning up rocks, pushing them aside as if she was looking for something. Littlefoot joined in, not sure what she was doing but wanting to be apart of it.
“So, what are we looking for Ali?” he questioned.
“Shiny things,” answered Ali, before adding with a bit of uncertainty, “wingtails like them right?”
Littlefoot rolled his eyes, making sure she had her back to him so she wouldn’t see it.
“I think it needs to be something a little more then that… Sky could just come down and look for them on his own.”
“Well then if you’re so smart, what could we get him?” replied Ali with a tinge of annoyance.
Littlefoot thought about it for a moment, looking all across the lake-like watering hole as he did. The group of longnecks on the other side seemed to have had their fill, and were leaving to head back into the grassland beyond. His eyes settled on a pair of hatchlings that splashed playfully in the shallows. Funny, it wasn’t long ago that he would have jumped in there with them and played too. One of the mothers was heading towards the two babies, saying something that sounded like scolding. There was something familiar about her…
“I think we can get him a… Dara!”
“Dara?” questioned Ali in confusion, “what’s that?”
“No not that Ali,” corrected Littlefoot, “I just remembered where I knew that longneck over there from… it’s Dara.”
Ali looked over at the longneck mother with an expression of mild surprise.
“Who’s she?”
“Come on,” insisted Littlefoot as he beckoned with his head, “…let’s go meet her.”
He promptly took off down the shoreline, leaving Ali to catch up.
“Wait for me!” she shouted, and after a moment shaking the mud off her feet she followed her friend down the grassy banks.
…
“Careful down there little lady,” insisted Dara as she kept an eye on her young daughter playing in the water, “Don’t go wanderin too far off in the water beyond where I can see ya.”
The hatchling barely paid her mother any attention, as she was enjoying playing with the other longneck too much. He splashed her as she tried to turn back to answer her mom, so she had to return the favour. Seeing this, Dara stepped in between the children and the water as a precaution. One couldn’t be too careful with their only child.
“Hey Dara,” called out Littlefoot as he got closer, “…Dara!”
The female longneck turned and squinted as he came into view.
“Well I’ll be,” Dara said, “if it isn’t little Littlefoot. My you were such a youngin when I saw you last.”
Littlefoot beamed at the recognition, while Ali still looked a little bit awkward about the whole situation. She still had no idea who this was.
“Ah kids these days,” continued Dara, “they go growing up so fast… it’s great to see ya Littlefoot.”
“You too Dara,” replied Littlefoot.
“I know it’s been a while since Doc and I were passing through the Great Valley and all… but we gotta little side tracked.”
Littlefoot reasoned that it must have been the hatchling that was holding them up.
“Yeah,” answered the young longneck before turning to Ali, “Dara is our friend from a long time ago. We saved her from the sinking sand.”
“Oh how cute,” interrupted Dara with a smile as she lowered her head down to their level, “you went and found yourself a lady friend too.”
Littlefoot couldn’t stop himself from blushing, and he turned away so Ali wouldn’t see it. She did anyway, and didn’t look the slightest bit uncomfortable.
“Nice to meet you Dara,” said Ali sincerely.
“You too little lady.”
“Hey Dara, is Doc around?” asked Littlefoot in a bid to change the subject, “We haven’t seen him in a while.
Dara spared a quick glance to make sure her daughter was still okay, and then peered out towards the nearby forest.
“Last I saw he was over there getting some shut eye,” stated Dara, before adding, “probably good on him for ya to wake him up too.”
“Okay,” nodded Littlefoot with a smile, “see ya later.”
In a moment the longneck was already on his way towards the forest with good speed.
“Bye,” Ali added quickly as she followed.
“Take care of yourselves,” called Dara with caring as they moved out of earshot.
The fact that Doc and Dara were here… especially Doc… suddenly awoke a sense of duty in Littlefoot that hadn’t been there for a long time. If there was one other longneck adult that he knew could set things right apart from his Grandparents and his dad, it was Doc. After all… he was the Lone Dinosaur! Once he found out what Tyron and his sharpteeth kin were doing he would sort them out faster then a whip of the tail. Littlefoot was sure of it, and the thought carried him into the Lush Valley’s sweet smelling forest as Ali trailed behind.
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Star hadn’t bothered to try and sleep. She knew what was coming, even before Eybron entered their family tree unannounced to spirit her away. She knew the white wingtail too well… he was prompt and brutal with all of his actions. With all the power he had now, she had expected him to keep her close by all means. The carefully planned menace of the whole affair was what scared her more then anything else. Eybron would get what he wanted, and if it meant killing to get it then so be it.
“Ah,” remarked Eybron with a grin she could only partially see in the moonlight, “all ready to go I see? You are learning.”
“I have nothing to learn from you Eybron,” Star stated venomously, “but how to deceive and murder and wing others in the back!”
“Still angry about my little visit to your class are we? Well I do admit I might have been a little bit…”
The wingtail twirled his finger around a flailing leaf, before crushing it in his palm.
“…out of line.”
An apology. Was this his new technique for trying to get in her head? Trying to make her believe that now the world was practically in his hands, he was a nice wingtail? Unlikely.
The white wingtail extended his hand gently and methodically, something that didn’t suit him well.
“I think it’s time we put this whole affair behind us Star. We are grown adults, unfit for these childish little games.”
Eybron stopped for a moment to gauge her expression, which only changed slightly away from the defiant snub she wore whenever they talked. She continued to look at his hand, like it was dripping with poison.
“I’ll tell you what,” he continued, “…entertain me. Treat me with some respect and perhaps I will ignore your staining, hurtful remarks in the name of a new start.”
“Why should I?” asked Star with distrust.
“Because if you do, I can ignore your uncle’s naked aggression against me and even the resentful acts of your brother. I’m sure it’s in your best interest to ensure that your family members remain… happy and healthy.”
It was a veiled threat – something Star was pretty used to by now. Still, the more she thought about it the better the deal sounded. She could fake cooperation and compliance so that Fliela and Sturgeon aren’t bothered, and Glide – wherever he is – could remain off Eybron’s list of enemies. Not only that but even if she refused, it would only make this whole affair worse since she was going to be dragged along with him anyway.
“Alright,” agreed Star, and she clasped his hand, “Maybe there is some good in you.”
The white wingtail smiled slightly, almost invisibly as she touched his hand.
“Good.”
On that note he turned around and spread his wings, causing the two wingtail guards next to him to do the same. They fell in behind Star like watchers ensuring her obedience to their lord. Eybron called over his shoulder at her.
“Follow.”
“Wait just a minute,” interrupted Star.
Eybron turned to look at her with an expression of annoyance.
“If we are going to make this work Eybron, then I have a demand of you as well.”
The white wingtail thought about it for a moment, before gesturing her to continue.
“I think I deserve a bit of respect and dignity here… specifically not to have your ëfriends’ push me around like I’m your prisoner. I want some freedom and trust.”
Eybron looked mildly surprised, like he had expected her to come silently. After a moment he dawned an expression that might be compared to a proud parent watching their hatchling fly for the first time.
“As you wish my dear. Edwin, I want you to accompany her and ensure her safety and her cooperation… but Star is to be allowed to go where she wishes while in my prescience.”
The green wingtail bowed slightly.
“Yes Lord Eybron.”
The white wingtail turned back to Star.
“If that is all… you will follow.”
On Eybron’s wishes, the group of four wingtails departed. Before the night is over, the white wingtail would commit acts that Star would never think a wingtail could do to another. He tore apart families as he gathered his private army of sorts. He stole from the Tree of Relics and killed the Master when he screeched for help. Within two hours, they had vacated the Feral Forest leaving a trail of suffering in their wake. For Star, she vowed that one way or another, Eybron would pay for all the things that he had done. Some day, and some place… she would make her move. For now however, there was nothing she could do but watch, wait, and cry silently for those who couldn’t cry anymore.
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Glahhh…I’ve been Mr. Procrastination lately. :bang Sorry about the wait. :oops
Wow, this chapter felt short (Of course, I think that about pretty much ALL of the chapters :P:); how does the number of words in this chapter compare with the average Far Away Home chapter?
I enjoyed the opening to this chapter. You’ve got a real flair for describing the environmental setting for a scene in a colorful and interesting way. I also liked your introduction to the Lush Valley, emphasizing the differences between it and the Verdant Valley.
Well, looks like Cinceel ended up regretting her decision about Eybron even sooner than I expected. :rolleyes Good to see Aizon’s helping, at least, though if the plans he’s going to suggest to Cinceel are in any way related to the ones he shared with Ruby, I’m guessing that he’ll have his work cut out for him in convincing the other wingtails to agree to them.
Feels like a long time since we last saw Littlefoot, Sky, Ali, Spike, Petrie, and Ducky. Whoa! In a way, it has been! The last chapter with them in it was posted on July 5th! :blink: I must say I’ve missed them.
About how much time has passed since the beginning of the story? (Don’t answer if that would spoil anything; you know how I hate spoilers…)
Your scenes of Ali and Littlefoot conversing never cease to entertain me (even though I still wish the others would get more attention :p). I like how you filled in a little of Ali’s background history in that bit about her father.
Hey, I just noticed that you didn’t describe how Petrie had changed since the beginning of the journey! :blink:
Wow, I forgot about Sky’s star day, too. Looks like it’s going to be a very late celebration. What DO you give a wingtail for a birthday present, if not something shiny? :confused
Dara and Doc are two characters I wasn’t expecting to see in this story. :! So they ended up having kids? Uh-oh, sounds like the supposed “Lone Dinosaur” has settled down! :p Somehow I have the feeling that Littlefoot’s going to be disappointed in one way or another when he asks Doc for help. :unsure:
I caught relatively few spelling errors this time around:
The red clouds of the morning were spread out ponderously, * if not to intrude on each others space, and all around not even one of the lesser flyers that inhabited the Feral Forest had begun to sing.
*Insert “as”.
“I come because I have a solution to your current predicament… a collection of realistic and fortitudous actions that would greatly benefit your position amongst your peers and would later elevate you in the eyes of the historical keepers… such as myself.”
Should be “fortitudinous”. Good try, though. :yes
“Great things will begin to happen soon* Lady Cinceel,” continued Aizon* ignoring her question, “I do not know whether they will be advantageous or dire but I can express that you and the rest of the elders must be there to see them through.”
*Comma.
Ducky for instance, had gained on Spike quite a bit in size and no longer rode on his back anymore.
I’m pretty sure it’s redundant to use both of these words in the same sentence.
Both him and Ali too had gotten bigger, and now had almost a foot in height over Sky.
Should be “he”. You might want to remove “both”, too, as i don’t think it is needed.
A massive group of Sharpteeth was following them* taking over vallies as they saw fit, pushing around Sky like they were toying with trapped prey* and wingtail assassins seemed to be coming after them at every turn.
Should be “valleys”.
*Comma.
“As you wish my dear. Edwin, I want you to accompany her and ensure her safety and her cooperation… but Star is to be allowed to go where she wishes while in my prescience.”
Did you mean to say “presence”? “Prescience” means foresight, or knowledge of things before they exist or happen.
On Eybron’s wishes, the group of four wingtails departed. Before the night is over, the white wingtail would commit acts that Star would never think a wingtail could do to another.
”Is” should be “was”, and “would never think” should be “had never thought”.
Within two hours, they had vacated the Feral Forest* leaving a trail of suffering in their wake. For Star, she vowed that one way or another, Eybron would pay for all the things that he had done. Some day, and some place… she would make her move. For now* however, there was nothing she could do but watch, wait, and cry silently for those who couldn’t cry anymore.
The highlighted text should simply be “Star”.
*Comma.
Sky, CT, Serris…any of you going to comment on the chapter?
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Sky, CT, Serris…any of you going to comment on the chapter?
I sure will! :smile
~~~
Ahh... a new chapter. ^^
I always feel happy and excited when you post new chapters to read! :lol:
Phew... the gang sure grows pretty fast. :o And now, I'm getting really curious what Littlefoot has on his mind for Sky's present. :) I also liked the little story of Ali's father. It's quite sad though... :cry Dara and Doc was quite a surprise to see them in this story! And they have kids too! *excited* ...Hmm, which reminds me... what happend to the 'storytelling' part you sometimes read at the beginning? You know when Sky, Ruby, Glide were the storyteller? Don't tell if this spoils anything. :p
Like always it was a great chapter to read and I'm looking forward to read the next chapter. :lol:
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Whoa, I just realized that last Wednesday marked the one-year anniversary of this story. :o :blink: :wow Happy belated star day, Far Away Home! :birthday
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One year? It's been one year!? :o
Happy anniversary! :celebrate
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About how much time has passed since the beginning of the story?
It has been about 3-4 months since the beginning of the story to where we are now. Naturally there were days and moments that were skipped because they weren't relevant to the story.
What DO you give a wingtail for a birthday present, if not something shiny?
I guess you will just have to wait to find out :angel
Now, the last part, if I understand correctly,
I caught relatively few spelling errors this time around:
I think you may have missed a line of text here Pangaea about the last part. :)
what happend to the 'storytelling' part you sometimes read at the beginning? You know when Sky, Ruby, Glide were the storyteller? Don't tell if this spoils anything.
The storytelling part only is supposed to happen at the beginning of each act. While occassional surprise interruptions may occur, I don't like to emphasize on them too much mainly because they give things away about the ending before it happens. For instance, you all know now that Sky and Star had offspring that survived the story because of that future scene. The next future scene will be after the end of the story.
Caustizer.
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It has been about 3-4 months since the beginning of the story to where we are now. Naturally there were days and moments that were skipped because they weren't relevant to the story.
Wow. :o Less time than I expected.
I think you may have missed a line of text here Pangaea about the last part. :)
Ah. :slap You're right. :oops Did I also mention that I've been Mr. Absentminded-Writer lately? :p
That text was the intended beginning of a question I was going to ask about how the first and last parts of this chapter (the ones focused on wingtails) related to one another timeline-wise. Most or all of the last part apparently takes place before the first part, and I was wondering if this was a mistake. Then I figured that the chapter was probably laid out this way because it was better for telling the story (Learning what Eybron did in the night comes as a more of a shock from Cinceel's point of view than as a short overview of the events). I therefore decided to skip the comment, but forgot to remove the beginning of the paragraph (which I have now done).
The storytelling part only is supposed to happen at the beginning of each act. While occassional surprise interruptions may occur, I don't like to emphasize on them too much mainly because they give things away about the ending before it happens. For instance, you all know now that Sky and Star had offspring that survived the story because of that future scene. The next future scene will be after the end of the story.
Aw, that's a shame. I've been kinda missing the storytelling scenes, too. :p Oh well.
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Bad News.
The computer that had all my writing on it has suffered a critical hard drive failure, and the technician had to wipe it to get it to work again. On that laptop was all the volumes of Far Away Home, Rise of Storm Tide, and even the seldom mentioned one where Ruby kills everybody.
The half finished part i was working on is also gone, so i will have to start again. Wish me luck, though unfortunately I wouldn't count on it being posted anytime soon :(
Caustizer
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Bad News.
The computer that had all my writing on it has suffered a critical hard drive failure, and the technician had to wipe it to get it to work again. On that laptop was all the volumes of Far Away Home, Rise of Storm Tide, and even the seldom mentioned one where Ruby kills everybody.
The half finished part i was working on is also gone, so i will have to start again. Wish me luck, though unfortunately I wouldn't count on it being posted anytime soon :(
Caustizer
That's my worst fear of my computer ever having to be gutted. That already happened once, but somehow the same people were able to retrieve everything. So I'm planning ahead this time, but uploading all the pics I want to keep to a dead wikia site or deviantart and printing off a sheet with all my passowords, user names and email for sites. The email adress atleast, so I can get my passwords back.
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Bad News.
The computer that had all my writing on it has suffered a critical hard drive failure, and the technician had to wipe it to get it to work again. On that laptop was all the volumes of Far Away Home, Rise of Storm Tide, and even the seldom mentioned one where Ruby kills everybody.
The half finished part i was working on is also gone, so i will have to start again. Wish me luck, though unfortunately I wouldn't count on it being posted anytime soon :(
Caustizer
Awww man! That sucks. Sorry to hear that Caustizer. It is a major bugger when crap like that happens. At least you can be safe in the knowledge that what has been posted on the net (FF.net or wherever) is still retrieveable. As for your current works, hopefully they aren't too far back in your memory that you can't recreate them. Still it's a pain when you're forced to start over. Take your time with it, I'm sure we can all wait patiently for your next update!
Still, real sorry :(
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Oh no! I’m so sorry, Caustizer! :( (Blast it, can’t life give any of us a frickin’ break?! <_<)
If you wanted to prevent this happening in the future, maybe you could invest in an external hard drive; a device that you can set up so that your entire hard drive is periodically saved onto it. I have one that I keep almost permanently plugged into my computer, though seeing as you have a laptop, you probably couldn’t do that, since they’re not very durable and thus probably aren’t well suited to being carried around everywhere. (My first external hard drive accidentally suffered a two-foot fall while being simultaneously unplugged from my computer without being properly ejected; it wouldn’t work after that and I had to get a new one. :mad)
By the way, I do have all of our past PM conversations saved. Is there any information we had exchanged (characters, story ideas, etc.) that you’d like me to send you? If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.
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Oh no! :o I'm really sorry to hear. :cry
Your motivation to work on it further is probably gone too... :(
I hate it when that happens. :bang
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Your motivation to work on it further is probably gone too... :(
Ow.
The mere thought that the story might not be completed is physically painful for me. :( :blink: :wacko
(That's not an exaggeration. I really did feel a jolt of pain in my chest when I read that. That happens to me sometimes when I read or hear awful news that shocks me.)
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^I actually meant the chapter itself he was working on. But I do feel the same way as you. :cry
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Normally this is against my policy, as I like to post complete chapters whenever possible. With the computer busting and all, and me losing a good half of my work on the latest chapter I think I'll give you loyal readers something to chew on until the whole thing is finished.
Here is the first third of the next chapter. Note that this whole chapter is very long [~5000-6000 words] to include everything I need to include with Ruby's gang before the finale.
Without further ado,
Part VIII: An Uneasy Alliance (First Third)
The storm had arrived, and above the jungle canopy rain poured down from the heavens like the tears of some giant flyer in the sky, laced with the black ash that now filled the upper atmosphere. The water dripped down through the leaves and pattered on the dense undergrowth all around, creating a cavernous roar that blocked out everything around him. Chomper was running now, chasing the fast-biter through the ferns and assorted shrubbery like he was his saving grace. It was a long shot, but Thudd might have found something important and since the sharptooth had decided not to eat him it was enough to prove the idea at least partially true.
Ever since that ridiculous game of walking on one foot with Gentry and Thylo, Chomper had discovered that running on the ends of feet was much more comfortable then remaining flat footed. It felt strange and unfamiliar, but the increased agility and mobility more then made up for the new position. Perhaps it was like his lost teeth, and just apart of growing up as a sharptooth… he didn’t know. The truth was though, it was evidence he was growing up and he didn’t like it. Being tall and strong would be nice, but he didn’t want to see the day where he turned on his friends. Chomper just liked them too much, and he owed Littlefoot even more then that.
“Where are we going?” asked the sharptooth breathlessly as he pursued Thudd through the underbrush.
The fast-biter didn’t answer, and instead picked up the pace. Silently cursing, Chomper ran faster to try and catch up. Just as the sharptooth was starting to feel like he had to stop, they breached the jungle into a clearing. It was not a natural one, but a forced crushing of the forest made by some large creature to cut a path to pass through. Looking around, he could see that it was at least as large as his parents, if not bigger. Whoever it was, he did not want to meet the being that did this.
Thudd slowed, and then lowered his nose to the ground like a hound dog following a trail. It was kind of funny, and Chomper couldn’t help but giggle as the ferocious fast-biter searched about for a scent the sharptooth knew nothing about.
“Be silent,” hissed Thudd, before continuing, “do you know who made these tracks?”
The fast-biter had been referring to a set of massive footprints that Chomper had mistaken for holes. Eyeing them closely, he was at a loss.
“No… I…”
Then it hit him. A mysterious new scent that was coming from the prints. He picked it up in his nostrils, and immediately did the same as Thudd and lowered his nose to the ground to pick it up better. The smell was not only familiar, but it was quite intimate like it was a core part of him. Almost right away, Chomper recognized it.
“Hey, it’s-”
A shrill screech filled the air, so intense that it hurt his ears. Thudd reacted too by growling and rearing his head to the sky, only to come face to face with an angry and rapidly descending black wingtail.
Glide had been following the group ever since his departure, unable to accept that he would be unwelcome with them amongst the runners. Part of it was that he was obligated because of what his sister had asked of him, but the other part was that he simply enjoyed their company. Whether he liked it or not the wingtail had found more purpose in keeping them safe then he ever had in the Feral Forest, and part of his personality demanded an intensive duty that he had to devote himself to at all times… be it ensuring the safety and well being of his sister, hunting down and punishing Sky, or watching over defenceless young ones.
The wingtail dove downwards, flipping out his feet at the last moment and making contact with Thudd. The fast-biter wasn’t ready for the sudden attack, and was driven to the ground by the strike. He thrashed out with his claws, catching one of Glide’s wings and ripping off a few feathers. The wingtail barely noticed in his adrenaline filled rage, and went for the sharptooth’s throat in attempt to pin him. It didn’t work, and Thudd capitalized on the opening with a vicious snap from his jaws. The deadly teeth passed within a few inches of Glide’s face, before being deflected by a wide wing attack. The two combatants separated, with the wingtail transitioning into a backwards hovering while the fast-biter got to his feet and crouched low, his teeth bared. Thudd growled in defiance and anger at his opponent and Glide returned with a low, aggressive hiss.
Recovering from his shock at the sudden attack, Chomper tried to step in.
“Stop it, STOP IT!” he yelled while waving his arms.
It was no use, as both his friends hated each other to the bone and were sure to continue fighting until one of them was dead. He felt small and useless as they came together again and started striking at one another. Glide was bleeding in a few places on his nose and on his wing, and Thudd had cuts and bruises to sport too but despite these injuries both of them refused to give up.
A sudden roar sounded from deeper in the forest, followed almost immediately by a second. The ground began to shake, and the thunderous stomping noises of a pair of fully grown sharpteeth filled the air. The fight stopped promptly as Thudd took one sniff in the general direction of the coming sound and then split, getting away faster then Glide could catch him. With a rustle of leaves the fast-biter disappeared into the bushes. Satisfied at his victory, the black wingtail turned back towards his charge and landed next to him. Time to turn his attention to the next biggest problem on hand.
“Get moving Chomper,” he grumbled urgently, using his real name for once, “something big and mean is coming our way and I can’t protect you from this one.”
Chomper turned towards him, and was smiling. The expression was confusing to Glide, who had assumed he was simply paralyzed with fright.
“I think I’ll stay here,” answered the sharptooth.
“What are you doing?” fumed Glide angrily, “do you want to die? Whatever it is it’ll eat us for sure.”
The wingtail was about a second away from grabbing up the young sharptooth and ferrying him away when Chomper ran, going towards the source of the sound.
“Mommy! Daddy! I’m right here!”
Glide couldn’t help but think he had totally lost it… there’s no way his parents could possibly be that big. Granted he had never seen an adult sharptooth before, but it’s not like they-.
Chomper’s massive parents burst through the trees, blood and murder in their eyes as it always was when they were hunting. His mom was the first to notice the familiar smell… the scent of her son! Chomper was speaking in sharptooth now, a chain of rasps and calls that the wingtail couldn’t understand. As the shadows of both sharpteeth settled over Chomper and Glide, the black wingtail just stood there with his mouth slightly open, unable to move.
Chomper was overjoyed at having finally found his folks, and after a half a minute of exchange his mother leaned over and nuzzled her son affectionately followed by his father.
“I am glad to finally see you again my son,” remarked his mother lovingly, “even this far from our rightful home.”
“Indeed,” snarled his father, “tell me why you are so far away from where we left you near the leaf-eater valley. There was plenty of food there and with those runners to find them for you it was easy meat. Where is the runner child we told to guard you?”
“It’s a long story,” admitted Chomper with a hint of regret. He forgot about how his parents saw things, and how they certainly didn’t approve of his friendship with Littlefoot and the others even though they saved his life on the island.
“But Glide’s guarding me now…and… he eats meat! Just like us.”
The young sharptooth felt it necessary to add the last part, since he wanted to make sure his parents knew the black wingtail was his friend. He was thankful Glide didn’t understand sharptooth to object to the ascertation.
Glide was actually too stunned to think about speaking, as both older sharpteeth were now staring right at him. What did Chomper say to them about him? He could only wonder, but his gut instincts told him it was going to be okay… after all they were his charge’s parents and he had done a pretty good job of keeping him safe thus far. On the side, he wondered what this would mean for the rest of the children elseware in the jungle…
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Sorry again for the reviewing delay. (I’ve got to start visiting the GOF earlier in the day. :rolleyes:)
I really liked how you described the storm in the first paragraph, especially the simile of the rain and the giant flyer. The only word choice that I thought was strange was “cavernous roar” for the sounds of the water on the vegetation.
I see that you’ve addressed the confusing matter of Chomper always walking flat-footed, while his parents and other adult sharpteeth walk on their toes. (Funny how Ducky’s kind is the same way, yet Ducky walks on her toes sometimes, but almost always stands flat-footed.)
Frankly, I was amazed to find out that Glide had never seen a full-grown sharptooth before. :blink: I expected that all adult wingtails would be familiar with sharpteeth, considering their ongoing feud with them. I guess large sharpteeth must not go near the wingtails' lands much. Was Glide's assigment to find Sky in Act I the first time he’d ever traveled far from home?
Darn, I was really curious to find out where Thud was taking Chomper! I guess I’ll just have to wait. I’m fine with that. :angel
My proofreading report:
Perhaps it was like his lost teeth, and just apart of growing up as a sharptooth… he didn’t know.
Should be two words.
Looking around, he could see that it was at least as large as his parents, if not bigger.
I thought this sentence was a little confusing, as it took me a while to realize that it was not describing the clearing, but the creature that made it. I’d suggest replacing “was” with “must have been”.
On the side, he wondered what this would mean for the rest of the children elseware in the jungle…
Should be “elsewhere”.
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Oh my, the first third and it was still awesome to read! :lol:
It's really great to see that Chomper is the 'main' character in this part. And yay for Chompers parents! :D
As always, I can't wait for the next part. :lol:
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Just chiming in to let everyone know that I'm still working on this chapter, and it's pretty long too. Hopefully I'll have the whole thing ready and edited by the end of the week. Is it just me, or is this forum kind of dead these days?
Caustizer
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Hey my readers and reviewers.
Wow, this is the longest chapter I have ever written coming in at 6,013 words. Not too shabby, but i think it really concludes the storyline on Ruby's side enough to go into the marathon after the Littlefoot-Sky chapter coming up. As a side note, I may also explore how the gang interacts with the Jungle Runners a bit more in a short story called (if i do it) "Ruby in the Jungle"
Author’s note: The Jungle Runners do not have a language any less advanced then the Plains Runners like Ruby as well as the others, but their method of speaking is shorter and more to the point which leads Ruby, Cera, and the rest of the young dinosaurs to interpret it as lacking proper grammar points. To another Jungle Runner, they are seen as sounding just fine.
Caustizer
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Part VIII: An Uneasy Alliance (Full Part):
The storm had arrived, and above the jungle canopy rain poured down from the heavens like the tears of some giant flyer in the sky, laced with the black ash that now filled the upper atmosphere. The water dripped down through the leaves and pattered on the dense undergrowth all around, creating a cavernous roar that blocked out everything around him. Chomper was running now, chasing the fast-biter through the ferns and assorted shrubbery like he was his saving grace. It was a long shot, but Thudd might have found something important and since the sharptooth had decided not to eat him it was enough to prove the idea at least partially true.
Ever since that ridiculous game of walking on one foot with Gentry and Thylo, Chomper had discovered that running on the ends of feet was much more comfortable then remaining flat footed. It felt strange and unfamiliar, but the increased agility and mobility more then made up for the new position. Perhaps it was like his lost teeth, and just apart of growing up as a sharptooth… he didn’t know. The truth was though, it was evidence he was growing up and he didn’t like it. Being tall and strong would be nice, but he didn’t want to see the day where he turned on his friends. Chomper just liked them too much, and he owed Littlefoot even more then that.
“Where are we going?” asked the sharptooth breathlessly as he pursued Thudd through the underbrush.
The fast-biter didn’t answer, and instead picked up the pace. Silently cursing, Chomper ran faster to try and catch up. Just as the sharptooth was starting to feel like he had to stop, they breached the jungle into a clearing. It was not a natural one, but a forced crushing of the forest was some large creature to make a path to pass through. Looking around, he could see that it was at least as large as his parents, if not bigger. Whoever it was, he did not want to meet the being that did this.
Thudd slowed, and then lowered his nose to the ground like a hound dog following a trail. It was kind of funny, and Chomper couldn’t help but giggle as the ferocious fast-biter searched about for a scent the sharptooth knew nothing about.
“Be silent,” hissed Thudd, before continuing, “do you know who made these tracks?”
The fast-biter had been referring to a set of massive footprints that Chomper had mistaken for holes. Eyeing them closely, he was at a loss.
“No… I…”
Then it hit him. A mysterious new scent that was coming from the prints. He picked it up in his nostrils, and immediately did the same as Thudd and lowered his nose to the ground to pick it up better. The smell was not only familiar, but it was quite intimate like it was a core part of him. Almost right away, Chomper recognized it.
“Hey, it’s-”
A shrill screech filled the air, so intense that it hurt his ears. Thudd reacted too by growling and rearing his head to the sky, only to come face to face with an angry and rapidly descending black wingtail.
Glide had been following the group ever since his departure, unable to accept that he would be unwelcome with them amongst the runners. Part of it was that he was obligated because of what his sister had asked of him, but the other part was that he simply enjoyed their company. Whether he liked it or not the wingtail had found more purpose in keeping them safe then he ever had in the Feral Forest, and part of his personality demanded an intensive duty that he had to devote himself to at all times… be it ensuring the safety and well being of his sister, hunting down and punishing Sky, or watching over defenceless young ones.
The wingtail dove downwards, flipping out his feet at the last moment and making contact with Thudd. The fast-biter wasn’t ready for the sudden attack, and was driven to the ground by the strike. He thrashed out with his claws, catching one of Glide’s wings and ripping off a few feathers. The wingtail barely noticed in his adrenaline filled rage, and went for the sharptooth’s throat in attempt to pin him. It didn’t work, and Thudd capitalized on the opening with a vicious snap from his jaws. The deadly teeth passed within a few inches of Glide’s face, before being deflected by a wide wing attack. The two combatants separated, with the wingtail transitioning into a backwards hovering while the fast-biter got to his feet and crouched low, his teeth bared. Thudd growled in defiance and anger at his opponent and Glide returned with a low, aggressive hiss.
Recovering from his shock at the sudden attack, Chomper tried to step in.
“Stop it, STOP IT!” he yelled while waving his arms.
It was no use, as both his friends hated each other to the bone and were sure to continue fighting until one of them was dead. He felt small and useless as they came together again and started striking at one another. Glide was bleeding in a few places on his nose and on his wing, and Thudd had cuts and bruises to sport too but despite these injuries both of them refused to give up.
A sudden roar sounded from deeper in the forest, followed almost immediately by a second. The ground began to shake, and the thunderous stomping noises of a pair of fully grown sharpteeth filled the air. The fight stopped promptly as Thudd took one sniff in the general direction of the coming sound and then split, getting away faster then Glide could catch him. With a rustle of leaves the fast-biter disappeared into the bushes. Satisfied at his victory, the black wingtail turned back towards his charge and landed next to him. Time to turn his attention to the next biggest problem on hand.
“Get moving Chomper,” he grumbled urgently, using his real name for once, “something big and mean is coming our way and I can’t protect you from this one.”
Chomper turned towards him, and was smiling. The expression was confusing to Glide, who had assumed he was simply paralyzed with fright.
“I think I’ll stay here,” answered the sharptooth.
“What are you doing?” fumed Glide angrily, “do you want to die? Whatever it is it’ll eat us for sure.”
The wingtail was about a second away from grabbing up the young sharptooth and ferrying him away when Chomper ran, going towards the source of the sound.
“Mommy! Daddy! I’m right here!”
Glide couldn’t help but think he had totally lost it… there’s no way his parents could possibly be that big. Granted he had never seen an adult sharptooth before, but it’s not like they-.
Chomper’s massive parents burst through the trees, blood and murder in their eyes as it always was when they were hunting. His mom was the first to notice the familiar smell… the scent of her son! Chomper was speaking in sharptooth now, a chain of rasps and calls that the wingtail couldn’t understand. As the shadows of both sharpteeth settled over Chomper and Glide, the black wingtail just stood there with his mouth slightly open, unable to move.
Chomper was overjoyed at having finally found his folks, and after a half a minute of exchange his mother leaned over and nuzzled her son affectionately followed by his father.
“I am glad to finally see you again my son,” remarked his mother lovingly, “even this far from our rightful home.”
“Indeed,” snarled his father, “tell me why you are so far away from where we left you near the leaf-eater valley. There was plenty of food there and with those runners to find them for you it was easy meat. Where is the runner child we told to guard you?”
“It’s a long story,” admitted Chomper with a hint of regret. He forgot about how his parents saw things, and how they certainly didn’t approve of his friendship with Littlefoot and the others even though they saved his life on the island.
“But Glide’s guarding me now…and… he eats meat! Just like us.”
The young sharptooth felt it necessary to add the last part, since he wanted to make sure his parents knew the black wingtail was his friend. He was thankful Glide didn’t understand sharptooth to object to the ascertation.
Glide was actually too stunned to think about speaking, as both older sharpteeth were now staring right at him. What did Chomper say to them about him? He could only wonder, but his gut instincts told him it was going to be okay… after all they were his charge’s parents and he had done a pretty good job of keeping him safe thus far. On the side, he wondered what this would mean for the rest of the children elseware in the jungle…
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If Chomper had problems keeping up with Thudd, Ruby was on the same leaf with Siak. The female spike-mouth was fast and knew the place a lot better than any of the young dinosaurs did, so naturally she started pulling away in their progress. Fortunately though, she seemed to realize her mistake and slowed down, sniffing the air frequently as an excuse for doing so. Cera, Gentry, Thylo, and Chomper were a bit of a distance behind, but nonetheless Ruby was getting a bit annoyed by Siak’s loud sniffing... it was getting to the point that it was obnoxious and on purpose, like what her little brother used to do when he wanted attention after the twins hatched. Ruby’s brother would sit there and whine as if he had suffered some sort of injury until their mom turned to make sure he was okay. It got to the point where Ruby simply couldn’t take it anymore and she yelled at him to be quiet. Their mom wasn’t pleased, but she did agree that he got what he deserved. Perhaps a similar response was needed here too.
“You know... if you weren’t making so much noise maybe there would be more to hear,” commented Ruby.
Siak stopped her sniffing spree, and plucked a flower growing of a bush in their path. She brought it to her nose, and sucked in a large swathe of its sweet scent.
“What, so it’s against the laws of nature to enjoy one’s surroundings?” Siak answered playfully.
“…No,” answered Ruby, stumbling with the awkwardness of the situation. The spike-mouth had a much stronger personality then any one of them, besides maybe Glide, so it was difficult to compete. Best just to let it be.
“I wouldn’t worry too much dear,” continued Siak, “I happen to be one of the best sniffers around! There’s no way any of those sharpteeth could sneak up on me without-”
The spike-mouth stopped abruptly as she walked into something. It was the result of her not paying attention as she was talking to Ruby.
“Oww,” whined Siak as she rubbed her nose, and she chuckled a bit, “dratted trees… get me from time to time.”
But it wasn’t a tree. The runner before them was unlike any Ruby had ever seen before, and he was large, though not fully grown. He looked weathered and sharp, with the features of a young adult growing in on his visage. His dirty blue skin bared lines of both past combat, and the coming of maturity. From the tip of his nose to the top of his crest the runner carried an expression of stern annoyance, hinting that he certainly wasn’t glad to see them. The fact that Siak hadn’t smelt him could be attributed to the mud that was smeared all over his sides, which had been done to block out his scent for that very reason.
“Oh,” remarked Siak heartedly, “pardon my clumsiness... I don’t suppose you could take us to the rest of the runners in a pinch? I’m sure after all this time the children will miss me.”
The runner clicked his tongue, and suddenly at least ten more appeared, surrounding them all completely. If the group had been looking for them, they certainly had found their mark.
“Really,” commented Siak after looking around, “is this any way to treat a friend of the runners? You all with your silent surround and intimidate tactics... I was kind of expecting a greeting, maybe a hug for old time sake.”
The runner stepped forward, and sniffed the spike-mouth briefly.
“Friend Siak?” he asked.
Siak laughed.
“I couldn’t have smelt like anything else now could I? ... Unless it was the fish I had from lunch. ...was it the fish?”
The runner nodded, but ignored her.
“Why you bring others? ... We not know them.”
Cera forced her way through the bushes, followed closely by Gentry and Thylo. A female jungle runner at least twice their size escorted them through, much to the threehorn’s displeasure. If she didn’t happen to be looking for them, Cera could have fought the runner and probably won despite the size difference. After all, nobody but a sharptooth could beat her on the ground... and even then...
“Well it looks like they found us,” grumbled Cera dispassionately.
Gentry lowered his head, and whispered into Thylo’s ear.
“Wow these chaps are even dirtier than us... their mommies must never tell them to wash.”
Thylo giggled, catching their runner captor’s attention. She growled aggressively at the two of them, forcing both into silence.
In the meantime, Siak was busy speaking to the runner she ran into.
“They are friends too... at least I think they are.”
The last part was supposed to be a joke, and the spike-mouth chuckled a bit.
“What you mean?” asked the runner, eyeing the group suspiciously.
Ruby could see that if she didn’t speak up soon, Siak would get them into trouble. The spike-mouth meant the best for all of them, but she couldn’t see that these were the serious hunters... not the friendly runners she was probably used to dealing with. One bad word and the group of them could be seen as enemies and turned away or hurt.
“We have a message for all the grown-ups,” stated Ruby seriously, “we need to see them to tell them what the message is.”
The runner came up to Ruby, and sniffed her a few times.
“You a lowland runner,” he commented with a nod, “you friend.”
He made a beckoning gesture with his head to the rest of his pack, and they moved out around him.
“Come with us... you see Alpha now.”
...
The path was easier as it became better trodden and used. The jungle runners had certain routes they used on a regular basis through the dense undergrowth and where they had passed frequently the ground was hard and easy to walk smoothly over. The route that the runners led them through was still slightly soggy from where the pouring rain had fell upon it, but now the sun was beaming in through the trees and drying up the ground to the point where the moisture was starting to disappear. Strange flyers filled the canopies above and chirped to themselves while they carried about their daily business. Cera could hear some of the things they were saying, but they were quite uninteresting. Besides, the threehorn had other things to think about.
This entire journey hadn’t been a fun one for Cera. First Sky had spirited the gang away towards some place she knew absolutely nothing about, and then he had had the nerve to treat down Ruby. Littlefoot had sided with the wingtail too, and the memory was still bright in her mind about how the fight went down. As bitter as it was though, she wasn’t angry anymore. For all the faults of their journey so far, at least she had seen farther into the world than any other time before. Apart from nearly dying, the flight with the wingtails and being caught in the swirling whirlpool were actually kind of fun. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t so bad... separate from all that though, she wished that Littlefoot and the others were here – she missed them.
Of all the dinosaurs in this group, Cera didn’t like it as much as being with Littlefoot, Petrie, Ducky and Spike. For one, Thylo was the type that always had too much to say about nothing and Gentry was just plain annoying. Glide, when he was here, was too silent and suspicious for her to talk to him. That left Chomper and Ruby.
Cera looked around, checking to see if Chomper was anywhere. Not finding him, she snorted and decided to make a bit of conversation with Ruby instead. As it would turn out, the fastrunner was busy speaking to someone else.
“You real clean for coming such long way,” commented one of the jungle runners, who had slowed down to adjust to Ruby’s pace, “you must wash lots, have very good taste.”
“Why…thank you, I try my best,” answered Ruby contently.
“…but you dumb,” continued the male runner.
The jab caught Ruby off guard, and she stopped walking.
“…What?”
“Sharpteeth find you real fast,” replied the male runner with a nod, “make meal out of skin.”
The runner bent over and scooped up a handful of mud from a sopping puddle in the dirt, and rolled it in his hands.
“I fix for you.”
He tried to move towards Ruby’s flank to apply it, but she stepped back in disgust pushing him away with a palm up gesture from her hands.
“No, no wait… I’m fine thank you.”
The runner frowned.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” assured Ruby, before adding, “thanks for thinking of me though.”
A few moments passed, an awkward silence with just the two of them standing there unsure of what to say. Eventually, the male runner broke it.
“I Swiftwalker,” introduced the runner, and he extended his hand.
Ruby took it.
“I’m Ruby,” she said sincerely.
The two of them smiled at one another, and parted hands.
“I show you around home when we get there… you meet whole family!” Swiftwalker continued with a bit of excitement.
Truth be told, Ruby was kind of excited too. She had never seen another runner outside her family before, and this pack was fascinating to her. Growing up knowing just her immediate relatives was not a bad thing in her mind, but seeing so many others of her kind in such a sudden moment… it was like Ruby was starting to feel at home already.
Cera saw all this of course, and even listened in for some of it. Great… now Ruby had a friend from nowhere in particular too, and would ignore her as well. At least if Littlefoot were here he wouldn’t just rub off the threehorn like the others did. That and Petrie, Ducky and Spike too… they all seemed to want her opinion whenever she offered it. Cera was starting to realize that maybe she shouldn’t have fought with the longneck over something as petty as a snub from Sky to Ruby. All things considered, she would rather have Sky and Littlefoot here any day instead of that annoying egg-stealer and spiketail behind her and that aggressive and snotty wingtail Glide.
Oh well, at least she could talk to Chomper. Deliberately slowing down, Cera let Gentry and Thylo pass her as well as all the runners. Looking back, she noticed direly that the small sharptooth wasn’t there. Skipping a step, she stampeded up to the albino egg-stealer and confronted him.
“Where’s Chomper? You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him,” she yelled in anger.
Gentry blinked, and glanced back quickly.
“Oh…err… wasn’t that black bloke supposed to be doing that?”
Cera fumed, and stomped her foot.
“Glide isn’t even here you egg-head! You lost him!”
“Now don’t go blaming me here girl, I’m not his egg-sitter there.”
The argument picked up very quickly, and Ruby came over to settle it.
“What happened to make you two argue about what happened?” asked Ruby.
Cera growled at Gentry.
“He wasn’t paying attention and now Chomper got left behind.”
Gentry bounced once and widened his stance, in case there was a fight.
“The crazy threehorn goes all on about how it’s my fault he wasn’t following us, when I’m not all of his watcher and guarder and…”
“Chomper’s missing? ... Oh no!” interrupted Ruby dramatically, “we have to find him before something happens to him!”
The lead runner heard her distress and offered to help, sending one of his own hunters to find her friend. Ruby was thankful; even though she was sure the scout wouldn’t react too kindly to rescuing a sharptooth. It didn’t matter though… she needed Chomper back safe and sound. If his parents ever found out she let him out of her sight, she would be in serious trouble.
…
Ruby, Cera, Gentry, Thylo and Siak reached the home of the runners just before sundown, and were welcomed cautiously as the inhabitants went about their night routine. The Deep Glade, as it was called, was actually a collection of holes jutting out into the dense undergrowth. Families were connected by paths that had been cut out of the vines and massive tree roots along the ground, forming what could be perceived as a surface tunnel network. The entrances to the Glade were guarded by two runners at all times during the night, who blended themselves to get the first eye on any threats coming in.
The Runner Alpha, the male who led the greater group, turned out to be away on a fishing hunt – that is following the migration of water swimmers up the river – so naturally he couldn’t see them right away. As a result, Ruby, Cera and the rest of the gang were given time to interact with the locals and get used to the new setting.
Over the course of four days Ruby was introduced to Swiftwalker’s friends (whom all seemed to be interested in her in one way or another), went out to the river with a fishing group to learn their techniques, and even watched as Siak took care of a group of young runners that were very fond of her. It was a very interesting thing, seeing a spike-mouth acting as a babysitter while the parents went away to hunt, and Ruby could see just how close she had become to the runners and why they respected her so much. Thylo even joined Siak’s group… purely to find some new friends to play with. Despite how different the spiketail was the runner hatchlings took to her almost immediately. Chomper was still missing, and Ruby was constantly worried about what happened to him. When the runner that had gone looking for him came back with no findings, it worried her even more. He had to be out there… safe and sound just like he always was right? The thought was disquieting.
Oddly enough Cera seemed to have a bit of energy, and more then once Ruby caught her opening up to their hosts… though the fastrunner didn’t call her on it. The jungle runners took her along to pick berries, and the threehorn’s method of knocking them down out of the bushes with her head was very well received. Seeing Cera actually enjoying herself for once was a relief for Ruby, since she had sensed her friend was dragged down a bit since they were separated from Littlefoot and Sky.
Gentry was a different story. Though he had a good personality she knew, for some reason the runners just didn’t like him. He would sit under one of the trees all day cracking open fruits and eating the insides. Ruby asked him if he was okay, but he just responded he was fine and having a great time. It took about two days for the reason for the odd behaviour to become apparent. Being around so many nests, many of them unguarded, pricked at his instincts and one day he couldn’t resist anymore and he stole an egg. Fortunately Siak got to him before the runners could beat him to a pulp, and smoothed the situation over a bit. After that the egg-stealer was feeling pretty down, until Cera offered to bring him along on one of the berry runs. It was an unusual act of kindness for her, but maybe it was evidence of maturity at last.
Overall, things couldn’t be better for the gang, and Ruby couldn’t help but feel that something was starting between her and Swiftwalker… the male just seemed to want to be around her all the time, even when he was supposed to be doing other things. She didn’t mind, and actually enjoyed his company. On the night of the fourth day, Siak came up to her with important tidings.
“Good news girl,” informed Siak with a smile, “the Alpha is back, and he says he will meet with you and me as the Great Circle hits the horizon tonight.”
Ruby nodded.
“…I hope you know what you plan to say though,” continued the spike-mouth, “remember that these are adults and they only have so much time for these things you see.”
“I know,” replied Ruby, “I’ve thought about it a lot and I think I know what I want to say… and how I want to say it.”
“Good,” declared Siak, and she turned to depart, “…I have a few charges to return to their folks, but mark me I shouldn’t be long. Oh how I do enjoy taking care of them you know.”
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Aizon was pleased with how the arrangements had all worked out. Cinceel, Theanol, and the other four remaining elders had agreed to accompany him to witness this ëgreat event’ that he had described. More then any promises, they had listened purely because of his name and family reputation. Any time one of Benzon or his sons had come to the wingtail elders with a request, they had always obeyed… and great good resulted. Almost according to tradition then, they forfeited their plans for the day and followed the navy wingtail into the jungle unaware of what might be awaiting them. For his plan to work, it had to be that way.
“As I’m sure you are aware is well beyond our time of rest,” jabbed Cinceel as the group came in for a landing on a darkened set of trees. It was almost too late to see.
“The night is required if what is to happen here is to succeed,” countered Aizon confidently.
Cinceel snorted, but Theanol nudged her wing to prevent her from saying anything too out of line like she had a bad habit of doing.
“If I might bring it to light, Cinceel is partly correct,” the green elder informed Aizon, “we are not as young as we used to be and we are in need of rest before-f”
Aizon dawned a look of concentration, and shot one of his fingers up to his mouth in a gesture of silence. Theanol obeyed. With a sweeping motion of his arm, the navy wingtail pointed at a spot on the ground bellow. All the elders stared where the Grand Creator was pointing until a glint of shiny skin and a flurry of movement revealed the creatures entering the clearing. They were runners, and not just any runners but the Alpha and his personal escort of hopefuls and family members. Amongst the group, to Aizon’s delight, were Ruby and Siak trudging along carefully in the darkness. Everything was working out according to plan. The jungle runners and their guests arranged themselves into the usual position in the clearing where the Alpha stood on a rock, overlooking the slight hallow where the plains runner and the spike-mouth would sit to issue their address. Ironically, the way things were positioned the wingtail elders were directly behind them in a perfect arrangement for a court. Aizon chuckled a bit silently as he remarked on the formation. The wingtails still hadn’t been seen yet.
Cinceel, for all her cursed sharpness, was the first to recognise the shapes on the ground for what they truly were.
“Runners!” she shouted venomously.
A few of the elders hissed loudly, and the runners stepped back in shock before returning with shouts and growls of their own. The air filled with screeches, yelling and curses as the two sides laid into each other from a distance, each highlighting the offenses of the other loudly for all to hear. Feathers were ruffled and stones were thrown as the two bitter enemies clashed with words like a disorderly house of parliament. A minute of mudslinging and Aizon had had enough. Swooping to the ground, the navy wingtail turned towards a jumble of rotting wood that was a fallen tree and clapped his hands together hard.
Immediately, the tree burst into flames and a fireball of immense heat and size rose up into the sky illuminating the surprised and shocked faces of runner and wingtail alike. Ruby and Siak dropped to the ground and covered their heads, fearful of the sudden burst. A few moments later the fire had died down to a dull roar, and nothing but the calm crackling of the still burning tree could be heard. Against the flame a silhouette of a single wingtail, feathers flapping silently in the inferno wind, could be seen. With a glorious smile across his face, Aizon turned to see his adoring audience.
It had been a simple trick really… he had basted the tree in a mixture of volcanic dust, lye powder, and salt water from a tubular glass flask he carried from his home for the express purpose a few days earlier, and then simply ignited it with the tapping of firestones in his hands. The navy wingtail wore two glass rings, one on each hand, tipped with sparking stones that when brought together vigorously in a clap created a shower of sparks. The result was exactly what he needed to get everyone’s attention, in a big way.
“I am sure that neither of our two races has come here today with the intention of putting down the other… in fact neither of you were expecting it. Here we are, the foremost of our kindred, tearing each other apart with petty squabbles and childish insults. I think it is time you all knew why you are really here.”
Aizon took off his glasses, and cleaned them at his own pace leaving everyone silently waiting for his word. The wingtail cleared his throat, and continued.
“There is a threat that hunts both of us… an army of sharpteeth that would consume our homes and eat our children as they see fit. King Tyron comes, and what he has done to the Feral Forest he will now do here as well.”
The Alpha Runner stood to his feet, and snorted.
“Bah, we no listen to wingtail lies!”
The rest of his family seemed to agree, and added their own shouts to the mix. Cinceel was offended, and was about to refute the insult when Aizon beat her to it.
“If you will not listen to me,” commanded the navy wingtail confidently, “…then will you listen to the word of one of your own?”
The Grand Creator turned towards Ruby, and nodded heavily in her direction. She could see that now was the moment of truth… the time when the wingtail knew the weight of a runner-wingtail alliance hung on her shoulders. Hesitating a moment to compose herself, she begun her story.
Ruby told of their journey, about being judged by a wingtail, and how she was caught up in a plot kidnapping her friend. The story was believable by the jungle runners, as they had witnessed such things from wingtails before. But, she changed her tone mid-way through, describing her friendship was one particular wingtail… a black wingtail who saved her life a few times and protected the group. She omitted the part about Eybron, but mentioned the kind hearted scarlet wingtail who held her as the sharpteeth attacked. She spoke of blood and fighting between the sharpteeth and the wingtails, and her narrow escape. Finally, she ended talking about the horrifying event Aizon had shown her and the impact of what it meant for the jungle runners. If this sharptooth menace was ever to be stopped, then it had to be done with both races together side by side.
The navy wingtail supplemented her speech with some of his own art, in the form of shadows on a rock face. The fire provided a convenient light source for Aizon to produce imagines using his own hands. He made sharpteeth, wingtails, and runners so fluidly those watching were transfixed by his skills and majesty. In the end, both the jungle runners and the wingtails were silent… so silent that the sounds of the crackling fire and creatures of the night could be heard. At last, the Alpha Runner spoke out.
“That be good tale… but there no sharpteeth here now. You wingtail skilled in trickery and deceit… how we know to trust you?”
Siak stepped forward, and stood beside Aizon.
“I happen to know that he is a great friend of mine, and one of the most trustworthy flyers one on the ground could ever meet. If you won’t listen to him then by all that swims why listen to anyone at all?”
Siak’s support ignited a storm of whispering within the runners, and even the wingtail elders took a moment to discuss the turning of events thus far. After a minute, the Alpha stood up to speak again.
“Family say we willing to be friends… but only if wingtails not attack us no more and screech and hiss at us.”
Aizon nodded and turned to Cinceel, Theanol and the rest of the elders. They seemed to have reached a decision as well. Clearing her throat, Cinceel opened her beak to speak.
“…and we no talk to wingtail witch.”
Snapping her beak in rage, Cinceel shouted back.
“What did you egg-breakers call me?” she hissed.
Theanol stepped in, and shouted back.
“Be silent Cinceel! If they will not deal with you then they will deal with me in this matter.”
The greyish female fumed, but she was forced to relinquish her lead as the other elders agreed. As a gesture of good will, Theanol glided to the ground and landed in front of Aizon.
“We the wingtails are willing to forgive all past conflicts and not hold your people to them as you say, in return for peace and your aid in retaking our home.”
The Alpha walked forward, and soon he too was directly in front of Aizon as the flames danced behind him. As the wingtail and the runner approached, the Grand Creator took both their hands with his own.
“Something divine is being wrought today… a forgiveness between our races that has never existed before in our history. The agreement must be sealed, for all of us to see, in the shaking of hands.”
Theanol sighed and extended his hand towards the runner. The Alpha hesitated, and slowly did the same. In a crowning moment for the history of both races, their hands met and the deal was sealed. Wingtails and Runners were now friends.
“Well that’s a relief,” commented Siak inappropriately, “I thought it was getting a bit too stuffy around here.”
A couple of runners laughed, and one of the elders snickered a bit.
The Alpha and Theanol departed, each going their separate ways back to their party. There was an unnatural silence, as both sides could hardly believe what had just occurred. Generations of hate were just gone… disappeared in the wind. Although it would be a long time before the two races would actually get along with one another, it was important that now, in unison, they would resist the vile grip of Tyron and drive his unnatural order into the dust. The Battle of the Sonicron was coming near, and although many may die… the end justified the means.
“And so it begins…” whispered Aizon.
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“And so it begins…” whispered Aizon.
Oohh... it makes me shiver. ^_^
Haha! The jungle runners speak like Petrie! :lol
That was, indeed the longest chapter! :o :lol:
It was awesome to read. I feel so excited, yet a little sad as it comes near to the end. :cry :wow
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It's already been a week since I posted and I'm just starting the last official chapter before the marathon starts. Kind of dissapointed I didn't get more responses on this, but it happens I guess. October in my experience is a pretty busy month :angel
Caustizer.
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This is truely an amazing story so far, keep it up. It's writers like you that inspire me :DD
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This is truely an amazing story so far, keep it up. It's writers like you that inspire me :DD
Thanks.
Far Away Home is almost done though, but there is a lot of story to read if you want to take in the whole thing. :lol
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AUGH! I’m so sorry for the late review! :bang :bang :bang I don’t know what’s been with me lately! :wacko I was working on this review just yesterday morning, but somehow I couldn’t concentrate on finishing it (Even just now I was getting words mixed up as I typed this). Maybe it’s just all the things I have on my mind right now…
“And so it begins…” whispered Aizon.
Oohh... it makes me shiver. ^_^
Personally, it felt a little clichÈd to me…I swear I've heard a line exactly like that before. :unsure:
Haha! The jungle runners speak like Petrie! :lol
I wonder if that would mean that if Petrie were to talk to them, they wouldn’t see anything wrong with his grammar :p (aside from his usage of the word “me”).
I liked the part of the story told from Cera’s point of view, hearing her retrospective feelings about the earlier argument, and how she feels about the others in her group. The one thing that I felt was missing was that we still have not heard a word about what she thinks of Siak. It’s not that I think the character I created should get more attention (what I am about to say would go for any character in her position); it’s just that it doesn’t make sense to me that absolutely none of the group besides Ruby has shared so much as a thought about this individual since their initial reaction to her. Even if Siak’s role in the story is minor, to from the gang’s perspective she should be fairly significant, being a near-stranger (who is moreover a member of a strange and rather scary-looking species none of them has seen before) whom they had previously known about only through a few words from Aizon, who has rather suddenly replaced Glide as their warden. Given that Cera in particular is rather slow to trust new individuals she meets, I’m surprised that she has been so accepting of Siak that she does not even give a single thought about her. It’s probably too late to change any of this, but I wanted to share my thoughts.
I hate to say it, but I was little disappointed that you didn’t go into more detail on the gang’s arrival at the Deep Glade and the time they spent twith the jungle runners. A while back, in a small spoiler lapse, you mentioned that Gentry would steal a jungle runner egg. I had expected that this would be a more significant plot point. Did he actually eat the egg? If he had, then it sounds far less likely that the runners would forgive him for it, unless you went into greater detail on how Ruby reconciled them (did it have anything to do with the fact that the jungle runners are occasional nest raiders as well, and so can sympathize with an egg stealer more than most leafeaters?) I do suppose that, in a chapter/story this long and complex, you can’t afford to go into depth on everything that doesn’t have a direct impact on the plot, which is too bad.
I just thought of something: I wonder what’s happened to Glide, Chomper, and Chomper’s parents in this time, not to mention Littlefoot’s group.
My favorite part of the chapter was probably the meeting between the wingtails and the jungle runners. I loved Aizon’s trick for getting everyone’s attention, and I also liked just how he cleverly managed to bring the two groups together, with just the right ambassadors to get them to see eye-to eye. And I laughed at the Alpha’s reference to Cinceel as “wingtail witch”. :lol Gives us an idea of what their meetings with her in the past have been like. :p And the imagery at the end of the Alpha and Theanol sealing the agreement was great (not to mention Siak’s line afterwards :lol).
Surprisingly enough for such a long chapter, I didn’t find that many errors in it:
“I couldn’t have smelt like anything else now could I? ... Unless it was the fish I had from lunch. ...was it the fish?”
Although this line sounds a lot funnier with “fish”, shouldn’t she be saying “water swimmers”?
Littlefoot had sided with the wingtail too, and the memory was still bright in her mind about how the fight went down. As bitter as it was* though, she wasn’t angry anymore.
”Went” should be “had gone”, and “was” should be “had been”, with a comma.
“Where’s Chomper? You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him,” she yelled in anger.
I think you should have an exclamation point here.
The lead runner heard her distress and offered to help, sending one of his own hunters to find her friend. Ruby was thankful; even though she was sure the scout wouldn’t react too kindly to rescuing a sharptooth. It didn’t matter though… she needed Chomper back safe and sound. If his parents ever found out * she ** let him out of her sight, she would be in serious trouble.
This paragraph is written a little confusingly: the red-highlighted part makes it sound as if the lead runner has already sent a scout out to find Chomper, but from the yellow-highlighted part, it’s apparent that he has only made the offer to help, and not yet sent the scout. Personally, I think both of these parts would be better written out in greater detail, with dialogue.
*Insert “that”.
**Insert “had”.
Chomper was still missing, and Ruby was constantly worried about what * happened to him.
*Insert “had”.
Though he had a good personality* she knew, for some reason the runners just didn’t like him.
Change the comma to “that”. (If you wanted to keep the comma as well, you should add another one after “reason”.)
*Insert comma.
The jungle runners and their guests arranged themselves into the usual position in the clearing where the Alpha stood on a rock, overlooking the slight hallow where the plains runner and the spike-mouth would sit to issue their address.
”The usual position” should be “their usual positions”, and “hallow” should be “hollow”.
It had been a simple trick really… he had basted the tree in a mixture of volcanic dust, lye powder, and salt water from a tubular glass flask he * carried from his home for the express purpose a few days earlier, and then simply ignited it with the tapping of firestones in his hands.
*Insert “had”.
The fire provided a convenient light source for Aizon to produce imagines using his own hands. He made sharpteeth, wingtails, and runners so fluidly * those watching were transfixed by his skills and majesty.
”Imagines” should be “images”.
*Insert “that”.
So just one more chapter before the marathon…I can’t believe it’s so close. :o Next time, I’ll try to be more expedient in posting my review.
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I only have time for a "flash review" of the latest chapter. I MAY do a "deep review" of all the chapters I missed sometime.
Erm in any case,
I agree with Pangaea that Aizon's "and so it begins" line is a bit cliche. It works though.
I kind feel like you glossed over the group's interactions with the jungle runners.
On the plus side, I liked the diplomacy meeting between the wingtails and the jungle runners.
On a REALLY nitpicky note, lye, salt water and volcanic ash are non flammable nor do they react with wood to turn it flammable. Also, lye does not form natural
deposits. The wingtails would have had to electrolyze salt water to get a lye solution. Of course if you meant saltepeter or nitre (Sodium or Potassium Nitrate) then it is slightly more believable (available as natural deposits and an oxidizer).
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I don't like doing it, but the gang's interaction with the Jungle Runners was glossed over for a number of reasons:
1) If i did it in full in the story, it would only add more chapters to an already excessively long Act. While you the readers are likely not opposed to this, I feel that Far Away Home is nearing its time to end and I am working towards that instead of details at this point.
2) Doing it now would mean I couldn't do my short story, "Ruby In The Jungle" at a later date. Overall, what Ruby and the Gang thinks of the Jungle Runners is unimportant to the plot compared to the Runner Wingtail alliance.
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I'm glad you all liked the diplomatic exchange, since it was a part I had been looking forward to doing as well. The line I personally like the most was the “Family say we willing to be friends… but only if wingtails not attack us no more and screech and hiss at us.” part, because the Alpha's demands are so trivial that it reveals how shallow the basis for the rift between the two races is.
On a REALLY nitpicky note, lye, salt water and volcanic ash are non flammable nor do they react with wood to turn it flammable. Also, lye does not form natural
deposits. The wingtails would have had to electrolyze salt water to get a lye solution. Of course if you meant saltepeter or nitre (Sodium or Potassium Nitrate) then it is slightly more believable (available as natural deposits and an oxidizer).
The term 'Lye Stone' is a Wingtail term, not a human term. It refers to an entirely different substance then what humans refer to when they say the same thing. So unless the rift of time and space was broken and the Wingtails and Humans collaberated to discuss science, then it's safe to assume that we don't know exactly what lye-stone and lye-powder are. Only that the powder is explosive and can be forged into Volcanic Glass.
The one thing that I felt was missing was that we still have not heard a word about what she thinks of Siak
While it may be discouraging to not have whole paragraphs devoted to Siak since you spent so much time thinking her up, remember that I can't do indepth 'what X character thinks about X character' lines all the time or else the story would become huge and progress at a snail's pace.
Now if the entire story was about Siak in one way or another - kind of like how LBT2 was about Chomper and LBT12 was about Petrie - this would be a critical oversight but in Far Away Home it is fundamentally about Sky, Star and Glide as well as how the gang interacts with them.
Thanks for the reviews everyone!
Caustizer.
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All right, since I have a lot of free time, here is part of the promised "deep review".
Act 4 - Part II: The Good and the Bad
I really, really like Prince Tyrus as a villain. He strikes me as perfect example of the classic "sadistic noble" archetype...even if he is a dinosaur.
Eybron is pretty good too. I really like him, especially his snarkiness. In some way, he reminds me of Han Solo.
The description of the pyroclastic flow ravaged valley is really, really "lovely". Very vivid.
Hmm. Littlefoot is quite honorable so it seems a touch OOC for him to deliver a vicious beating to a nearly dead fast-biter or essentially tell his friends to die. Granted, you did provide a pretty good justification for why he was acting this way and as Pangaea noted, this is not without precedent.
Mechanical notes:
commented the annoying sharpbeak *Macaw* as he swirled overhead
*Insert commas.
Sharpbeaks were sometimes called 'hatchling slashers'
Quotation marks should be used. Apostrophes are used only if someone is quoting someone else in their speech or for possessives or contractions.
"Your father is sick* my prince... he is dying."
*Insert comma
stomped forward towards the shore, charging his attack.
This may not be the best construction because the way you wrote it, it sounds like Prince Tyrus is "charging up" some sort of energy based attack.
Perhaps a better construction would be "He stomped forward towards the shore, charging the interloping Wingtail"
“You fight like a sharptooth* wingtail,”
*Insert comma.
“When I get to you, you’ll eat those words* wingtail.”
*Insert comma
illuminating the brackish sky with a fog-like haze of light
"Brackish" means a mix of salt and fresh water (or slightly salty) and it usually refers to liquids. I think you meant "blackish".
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Act 4 - Part V: Reconciliation
I like how well you portrayed the emotions and feelings of the characters.
I have to admit the "psuedo mouth-to-mouth" with Ali and Littlefoot made me laugh (even though it made the EMT in me cringe).
On a side note here are some "mechanical" things I want to mention:
Announced by the howling of the winds and the crashing of the waves on a distant shore, the torrent began to wash away the black soot that had covered everything and to purge the Steppes of the volcanic poisons that filled it
I think the "to" I highlighted is unnecessary.
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I decided to read this too and it took me almost the entire day to do so, but I enjoyed every second of this story. Great story Caustizer keep up the good work.
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I don't like doing it, but the gang's interaction with the Jungle Runners was glossed over for a number of reasons:
1) If i did it in full in the story, it would only add more chapters to an already excessively long Act. While you the readers are likely not opposed to this, I feel that Far Away Home is nearing its time to end and I am working towards that instead of details at this point.
2) Doing it now would mean I couldn't do my short story, "Ruby In The Jungle" at a later date. Overall, what Ruby and the Gang thinks of the Jungle Runners is unimportant to the plot compared to the Runner Wingtail alliance.
Somehow I completely forgot about the potential “Ruby in the Jungle” story. :slap Now that you've reminded me though, the minimized detail of the gang's stay with the jungle runners makes perfect sense (especially combined with reason #1, which I had already suspected had something to do with it). Sorry about that. :oops
Oh yeah; I also forgot to mention that I love the idea of a short spin-off story, and would love to see you write it. :yes :D I'm also much more accepting of the reduced descriptiveness of the jungle scenes in this chapter if they will be covered in greater depth in another story. :p
The one thing that I felt was missing was that we still have not heard a word about what she thinks of Siak
While it may be discouraging to not have whole paragraphs devoted to Siak since you spent so much time thinking her up, remember that I can't do indepth 'what X character thinks about X character' lines all the time or else the story would become huge and progress at a snail's pace.
Now if the entire story was about Siak in one way or another - kind of like how LBT2 was about Chomper and LBT12 was about Petrie - this would be a critical oversight but in Far Away Home it is fundamentally about Sky, Star and Glide as well as how the gang interacts with them.
Though I would be lying to say that I'm not just a little disappointed that Siak's role in the story is so minor, I specifically said that that's NOT the reason I made that comment. (I actually think it looks bad for me to critique your portrayal of my own character, and tried to emphasize that it was not personal, but eveidently I did not do so enough. :rolleyes) It's just that it makes no sense to me that the gang would be so ambivalent about so suddenly entrusting themselves to her guardianship and leaving Glide entirely. While they may not have all completely trusted Glide, they had been in the same proverbial boat with him for some time (having been imprisoned, escaped, been sucked down a whirlpool, and traveled quite a ways through unfamiliar territory). Then Aizon sends them to find another dinosaur (Siak) who he claims will help them (and given her inherent distrust of wingtails, should Cera really be that comfortable with the idea?), who turns out to be a variety of dinosaur which most of the gang has a deep and inborn fear of (even if she does talk, and looks and acts like no other sharptooth they've ever seen), and of whom most of them are indeed frightened of at first. In the span of a few minutes, however, their fear and distrust of this character apparently vanishes with neither a trace nor subsequent reference. Then Glide, who has been their best protection since escaping from the wingtail prison, departs, leaving them all in the care of this stranger, who then takes them to meet a group of strange and potentially dangerous dinosaurs. And yet not even Cera gives so much as a single thought to this sudden change in guardianship, or shows any obvious reaction to it. The fact that she was contemplating all of her other present traveling companions makes this omission of attention even more obvious, and seem even more unusual.
Honestly, I'm okay that Siak doesn't have a major role in the story. I am plenty content with the extent of her involvement so far, and do not care if her role never becomes any more significant. Furthermore, I've said it multiple times before, and I'll say it again: I really like your portrayal of her as a character. I'm not asking you to mention Siak in every other paragraph, or elevate her character status to “the newest member of the gang”, but you could really stand to use a bit more descriptiveness sometimes, both to make the story more logical and for the readers' benefit. And I reiterate: this is not because I want Siak to have more attention; if she were not my character, I would still be saying this.
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Now if the entire story was about Siak in one way or another - kind of like how LBT2 was about Chomper and LBT12 was about Petrie - this would be a critical oversight but in Far Away Home it is fundamentally about Sky, Star and Glide as well as how the gang interacts with them.
Though I would be lying to say that I'm not just a little disappointed that Siak's role in the story is so minor, I specifically said that that's NOT the reason I made that comment. (I actually think it looks bad for me to critique your portrayal of my own character, and tried to emphasize that it was not personal, but eveidently I did not do so enough. :rolleyes) It's just that it makes no sense to me that the gang would be so ambivalent about so suddenly entrusting themselves to her guardianship and leaving Glide entirely. While they may not have all completely trusted Glide, they had been in the same proverbial boat with him for some time (having been imprisoned, escaped, been sucked down a whirlpool, and traveled quite a ways through unfamiliar territory). Then Aizon sends them to find another dinosaur (Siak) who he claims will help them (and given her inherent distrust of wingtails, should Cera really be that comfortable with the idea?), who turns out to be a variety of dinosaur which most of the gang has a deep and inborn fear of (even if she does talk, and looks and acts like no other sharptooth they've ever seen), and of whom most of them are indeed frightened of at first. In the span of a few minutes, however, their fear and distrust of this character apparently vanishes with neither a trace nor subsequent reference. Then Glide, who has been their best protection since escaping from the wingtail prison, departs, leaving them all in the care of this stranger, who then takes them to meet a group of strange and potentially dangerous dinosaurs. And yet not even Cera gives so much as a single thought to this sudden change in guardianship, or shows any obvious reaction to it. The fact that she was contemplating all of her other present traveling companions makes this omission of attention even more obvious, and seem even more unusual.
Honestly, I'm okay that Siak doesn't have a major role in the story. I am plenty content with the extent of her involvement so far, and do not care if her role never becomes any more significant. Furthermore, I've said it multiple times before, and I'll say it again: I really like your portrayal of her as a character. I'm not asking you to mention Siak in every other paragraph, or elevate her character status to “the newest member of the gang”, but you could really stand to use a bit more descriptiveness sometimes, both to make the story more logical and for the readers' benefit. And I reiterate: this is not because I want Siak to have more attention; if she were not my character, I would still be saying this. [/QUOTE]
Remember too that just because Siak wasn't featured as much as you expected her to be in this chapter, it's a fairly safe bet that she plays a much bigger role in 'Ruby in the Jungle'. Sometimes getting an orange now with the possibility of a lemon later is just as good as getting a lemon now. :angel
Caustizer.
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That possibility is another reason I would very much like to see you write that story. :p
By the way, just for future reference (or, if you feel that you didn’t do this, just for reference :angel), please don’t assume that whenever I make a comment about Siak (or any other character of mine that you might use in one of your stories), I am complaining (to use a strong word) that the character is not getting enough attention, or otherwise expressing disappointment about your portrayal of “my” character. I try my best to keep my critique objective, and to not show bias based on how much I like a character or my level of involvement in creating an OC. For example, if I were to comment “that seems out of character for that individual”, I would be basing that statement on how you had portrayed that character so far in the story (and, if it was a canon character, how he/she had been portrayed in the LBT series). In this case, I was commenting on what I felt was a story error: “why aren’t the characters doing this/reacting this way in that situation?” (If the wingtails and jungle runners had shown no indication of their longtime animosity after their initial reactions to seeing each other, I would have commented similarly on that.) And again, I didn't feel that Siak was underused in this chapter; just that there was something missing from Cera's private contemplation of all of her traveling companions, which was an especially glaring omission given the potential significance of this particular individual that you would expect there to be from her perspective. That is all. I hope that clears things up. ;)
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Horray for an update! Everyone loves updates right? :angel
I have only a page of writing for Part XI: The Greatest Cause done, but it's a start. It will be long, just like the previous part, and will likely be completed by a single burst of inspiration as opposed to a collection of sectons,
I hate to give previews, but you can look forward to antagonistic notions evolving between both Eybron and Sky... after all, over the course of the story they haven't even met yet!
Lately I haven't been inspired too much to complete the chapter though, with so litte activity on both the GOF and deviantart I feel like I'm the only one who really cares about having a fan-fic with regular updates. I put in a request with Sky for a family portrait of Cloud, Sky, Star and Glide in one picture but everyone is so busy, it's like nobody has any time to spend on this anymore.
Not saying I require anything from anybody on the site... but the lack of enthusiasm is really discouraging though.
Caustizer.
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I'm sorry. I promise you that I'm still very much enthused about Far Away Home. I agree that the entire GOF seems too quiet these days. My guess is that Sky is too busy with school to have much time for the GOF (which is a real shame; I miss his artwork, particularly his wingtail comic. :( I've also been hoping to get some more critique from him on my own artwork). I don't really have any excuse; I've just been lazy, forgetful, and uninspired lately. :rolleyes
If I had more skill and creativity as an artist, I would try to make some FAH fanart myself, but as it is I can't offer much. :oops Still, if you can come up with something that wouldn't be overly complex (my ability to draw backgrounds, for instance, is quite limited), I could make an attempt at some artistic contribution.
I don't remember if I've noticed before, but you're right: not only has Tyron not yet appeared in the story, but neither Sky nor any of the other major characters save Star, Ruby, Chomper, and Glide have encountered Eybron yet. :! Though I believe I've shared some variation of this compliment many times before, it's amazing how well you feature your villains as a serious and omnipresent threat despite their limited contact with the other characters.
Thanks for the update, and if it helps, keep in mind that you have at least one reader who has not and will not lose any interest or enthusiasm for your story. ;) (Hopefully other readers will verify that they share these sentiments.)
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Horray for an update! Everyone loves updates right? :angel
I have only a page of writing forPart XI: The Greatest Cause done, but it's a start. It will be long, just like the previous part, and will likely be completed by a single burst of inspiration as opposed to a collection of sectons,
I hate to give previews, but you can look forward to antagonistic notations evolving between both Eybron and Sky... after all, over the course of the story they haven't even met yet!
Lately I haven't been inspired too much to complete the chapter though, with so litte activity on both the GOF and deviantart I feel like I'm the only one who really cares about having a fan-fic with regular updates. I put in a request with Sky for a family portrait of Cloud, Sky, Star and Glide in one picture but everyone is so busy, it's like nobody has any time to spend on this anymore.
Not saying I require anything from anybody on the site... but the lack of enthusiasm is really discouraging though.
Caustizer.
I personally like where your story is going. I too feel the same way when I writing my fan-fic, but I just keep going and not think about that so much. I do have to agree that most of the GOF is busy though.
I'm really not busy like everyone else as I;m updating chapters for my fan-fic though I did stop posting updates here though. I also can't draw that well either, but it's like I said in the first sentence I'm very much into this fan-fic you are writing.
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Sorry for not being online so often... :(
I do have a finished sketch with Sky and Cloud but the result isn't that good (I first thought you wanted only Cloud in a single pic :confused)...
Anyway, I have one week vacation so I hope to upload many new artworks at that time to keep you motivated. :^.^:
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Can you send the result to me in a PM? Maybe I can offer some pointers as to what things you can change/make better like I did with Eybron?
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The next chapter is 3000 words now and it's only about half done. These last two are such a doozie, i probably should have planned out Act 4 a bit better in regards to length. Still at least there is a lot of content when I do get it done.
Would you all rather I post the first half now like I did with the last chapter, or wait and finish the whole thing before posting? Odds are it will be from 5000 to 6000 words when it's done.
Caustizer
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I've said in the past that I prefer to wait and read chapters in full rather than in increments, so my initial reaction was “I can wait!”. However, it then occurred to me that this will be the last chapter before the big FAH marathon that will conclude the story. As I've also mentioned before, I love to see the climax of a story (and the escalating anticipation that precedes it), but I hate to see it end. So then I started thinking that I might like it better if you posted the first half of the chapter now, and the other later, as it would prolong the story somewhat. Then again, I also love reading really long chapters, so maybe I'd rather wait for the whole chapter after all. BUT, the Far Away Home marathon will itself be like one really long chapter, since the last few chapters in the story will be posted in rapid succession. I already have assurance that my hunger for super-long chapters will be satiated eventually, so I might as well settle for two short sub-chapters sooner…
Is it not obvious yet that indecisiveness is a major problem for me? :wacko
At this point, I guess I'm leaning towards the option of “half-chapter now, half-chapter later”. But I can probably bend either way based on the other readers' preferences.
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Part IX: The Greatest Cause (A):
The Abyssal Jungle officially ended in the North Mountains, though the thick forest did not cease and simply made land travel even more difficult as the terrain became more broken. Vines and branches dominated the undergrowth and made flying at any speed treacherous for birds as large as wingtails, so they were forced to make their way above the canopy. It was the afternoon, and the sun shined down from the sky like an eye of gold warming all in its presence with its rays. Yet in the distance, more bad weather was brewing as ominous dark clouds hinted that another great storm was on the way. So it was that the elements were trapped in the cycle between warm and cold, clear and raining, uncaring of the activities of the mortal beings that strode and flew across the lands below.
Star felt just like them – trapped in a place she could not escape from, being forced to love someone she cared nothing for. Eybron was a cruel master and a dominating mate… a wingtail she could never live with even if her life depended on it. His ambitions were just as mighty, stomping all over others like they were nothing in his mad quest to get what he wanted. Star knew that the white wingtail wanted her, but also that he wanted to rid the world of all sharpteeth for unknown reasons.
With her in a good position with the male wingtail, she decided to ask him about it while they were on route to wherever they were going.
“Why are you doing this Eybron?” the scarlet wingtail inquired as strongly as she could while flying next to him, “Sky is gone… what reason do you have to do such terrible things?”
Eybron shut his eyes for a moment and grinned, amused that for the first time she had actually come to him without being forced. Perhaps they were finally making some headway.
“The end justifies the means,” he replied with a bit of a hiss, “one way or another, I will see to it that every creature with sharp teeth comes to a slow and violent end. As for where we are going… well… you will just have to wait and see my dear.”
Star’s face contorted with annoyance.
“You wanted the sharpteeth to attack us didn’t you? I can tell… you’ve talked about hating them ever since…”
The scarlet wingtail paused, not wanting to talk about their first encounter.
“Our little exchange in your family tree…” finished the white wingtail slyly.
Eybron flapped a few times, rising a few feet in the sky to clear some high canopy trees.
“…Yes, I did want them to do it. I wanted them to reveal their true colours, and give me the power I needed to finally mash them into bones. The Tyrant King has unwillingly planted the seeds for his own destruction.”
Star’s curiosity had been sparked, and despite her revolt at the conversation she pushed farther.
“But… why do you hate them so much? What did they do to you?”
Eybron’s facial expression hardened and he growled at her.
“I will not talk about things that are not your business, Star. All you need to know is that they are my enemy, and I intend to make them all suffer before they die.”
Biting her lip a bit, Star decided to pull the ultimate trump card to get what she wanted.
“If we are to be mates, then we have to open with one another… I want to know why you feel that way.”
Eybron turned to her with a look a mild surprise, before actually sincerely smiling. It was a look that didn’t suit him well, and it sickened her. After a moment it was gone, replaced by his typical visage of sinister concentration.
“Hmm, I didn’t expect you to open up so… quickly.”
Star tried to keep up the lie, and dawned a look of sadness.
“Sky is gone, so whatever I felt for him it doesn’t matter anymore.”
Eybron eyed her critically, as if trying to spot a trick or incincereness in her voice. Thankfully, he didn’t pick it up.
“Alright,”
The white wingtail banked slightly left, causing the other wingtails to follow his course. Star readjusted to keep up.
“When I was young, I was abandoned by my father… he cared so little about us that rather then tend to the nest he gathered support for a position on the council of elders…”
“Us?” inquired Star.
Eybron frowned. He didn’t like to talk about his past, especially when others start asking questions.
“My unborn sibling… killed by the sharpbeak that robbed our nest.”
Star looked surprised, and pushed a bit further.
“But, how did you survive the attack?”
“In the sharpbeak’s nest I was dropped as feed for its hatchling,” replied Eybron with a grin, “we fought, and I killed it.”
Star turned away… maybe this story wasn’t worth hearing.
“And before I left I did to it what it would have done to me… devoured its flesh right down the bones.”
She had known for a long time that Eybron was a monster, but just then Star realized that fate had made him that way. Growing up without her parents had made her timid and careful as a wingling, so she could only imagine what growing up feeling betrayed by her parents might have felt like. Despite the sympathy she had for him, it certainly wasn’t enough to make up for all the things he had done to her and her family. She wouldn’t have Eybron if he was the last wingtail in the forest.
"My lord," we've been searching all day," breathed Barrau as he swooped in to join Star and Eybron, "the Eye isn't here."
"Perhaps it just lies beyond our sight," suggested Eybron, "I think it's time we used a more productive method."
Pulling the Coridan out from under his wing, the wingtail eyed the swinging bob of the small bell with concentration. Smartly, he removed the Occular from his other wing and placed it in his mouth so it couldn't vibrate as well. With a flick of his finger Eybron ringed the Cordian, filling the air with it's crisp and sweet sound. After a moment the note faded leaving Star, Eybron, and Barrau soaring in silence. The white wingtail sneered as it became clear his little solution didn't work.
“My lord,” started Barrau smartly, “it would appear that-”
Eybron silenced him with an abrupt hand gesture. There was a small vibration in the air, a manifestation of a weak returning signal. Soon it grew in intensity until it nearly matched the Cordian itself.
“It would appear that we have found our mark Barrau,” corrected the white wingtail with pleasure, “our informant didn’t lie after all.”
...
Eybron was glad that Tyrus had told the truth about the Eye of the World’s location. Part of him had doubted the sharptooth knew anything at all, since most of them were just dumb brutes out for a meal or a hand for sadistic amusement but it appeared the Prince had proven him wrong on some accounts. In the back of his mind the wingtail knew that Tyrus would survive the ëjustice’ he hoped to inflict upon his family, and could even prove to be a powerful foe in days ahead. Not that he really mattered... they would all suffer in the end.
Being the appointed guardian of the Sonicron for so many seasons, Eybron had been required to learn its history as well as the history of its creator. Most of it was ridiculous superstition and wise tales only told the frighten hatchlings, and he made a point of letting the elders know he thought that way on numerous occasions. It was only during his final initiation that he was taught by a very unique wingtail named Aizon. Even though he was Benzon’s direct descendant, the encounter had hardly gone smoothly.
“I have no time for this babble about speaking to the dead and touching sound old one... just give me your blessing and go,” he had said as he stood face to face with the navy wingtail.
“The Sonicron is quite sacred my dear Eybron son of Tenebron,” Aizon had chided, “these are not mere stories but detailed recounts of events past and present.”
“Hah, next you’re going to tell me it causes earthshakes...”
Aizon’s expression changed from one of a caring mentor into one of dire warning.
“The greatest discoveries are made by those who look for them, son of Tenebron.”
The navy wingtail removed his crystal glasses.
“You will have my approval, but know this: The Sonicron and the Eye of the World were abandoned for a reason, lest the young abuse their power.”
Eybron had taken the words to heart, and it was one of the main reasons he had begun testing the Sonicron in the first place. Now that the horn was lost to the wingtails, the only other solution is the one found within the Eye of the World. He was so close to finding it, he could almost taste it on the wind.
The flock of wingtails ended up on a surprisingly clear hilltop overlooking all the forests and valleys beyond. In the far distance the Black Mountain, or at least what remained of it, could be seen cloaked an in inky black cloud that blocked out the view behind it. The hazy outlines of the Icy Peaks could even be seen, though they were mere shadows against an ocean of land and sky. Eybron couldn’t help but marvel at the amazing view, and took a few moments to relish it as the wind of the high altitude blazed around his feathers.
“It is here Barrau,” declared the white wingtail as he turned towards the rest of his group, “the Eye of the World is here...”
“How do you know my lord?” inquired Barrau timidly.
“Because if I were Benzon, I would build it in a place where I could see…”
Eybron spread his wings.
“…everything.”
Barrau looked around, and seeing nothing remarkable he didn’t look too sure.
“I don’t see how it can be my lord, there is clearly nothing made of glass in this place.”
Eybron glanced around too, and eventually his eyes settled on an oddly shaped tree. It wasn’t so much the tree that stopped him but the position on which it sat. The canopy tree was nothing more then a jumbled mass of vines, but it rested right on the top of the rise isolated from the surrounding forest. Something in the back of the white wingtail’s mind told him that it was too conspicuous to pass.
“We will see.”
Eybron chimed the crystal bell yet again, only lightly as he didn’t want to be deafened if he was right. Sure enough, the signal returned immediately and the tree began to vibrate, dropping its leaves on the ground.
“Ah ha, it’s within the tree itself!” proclaimed Eybron.
The surrounding wingtails whispered amongst themselves, some with amazement and others with stern acknowledgement. Star was impressed that Benzon had so long ago thought to hide his creation within a tree to keep it safe. She wondered what could have made him do it after spending almost his entire life making it.
“Well what are you waiting for?” shouted Eybron with impatience, “all of you… get to work. The growth must be cleared!”
…
It took the army of wingtails almost an hour and a half to rip away the curtain of vines and claw down the various branches and twigs that were intertwined within the glass framework. As time went on and more and more of the material was moved away, the Eye of the World revealed itself one piece at a time. To wingtail eyes it was a symbol of mastery and intelligence that had been made long ago in a much more well off generation. The fact that the entire thing had been hand-shaped while still molten (Star silently wondered how the ancient wingtails had protected their hands) and then pieced together one part at a time was astonishing and unheard of. Were a human present to look upon it, it would appear very similar to a three dimensional model of the solar system. A glass shaft started from the ground and carried up to a metre in the air, and on top of it in the centre rested the largest piece of concaved volcanic glass ever created. The massive lens was about half the size of a wingtail and was concaved to look similar to an eye. Surrounding it were numerous curved glass rods ending in smaller lenses that could rotate around the main iris.
Everybody gaped at the wondrous object, and Eybron was the first to snap out of it and give it a try.
“And now to see just how dangerous this object really is,” he said with mild glee.
Hopping up onto a glass ledge just large enough to hold his feet, the white wingtail gripped the sides of the Eye with both hands, and looked through the large lens. The vision was good up to a few metres, but turned blurry soon after making it inferior to wingtail sight. Undeterred, Eybron grabbed one of the curved rods and positioned the second biggest lens right in front of the first one. The vision suddenly became even clearer and doubled the distance of sight. Energized, he grabbed all the other rods and positioned them until all were in line with the first one. All five glass panes lined up to allow him to see all the way to the Icy Peaks, and even view the dispersed poison clouds in the Valley of the Mists. Turning a full 90 degrees, the Tyrant Spire came into complete and clear sight.
“Incredible,” remarked Eybron.
“My lord,” interrupted Barrau politely, “…may I see as well?”
The white wingtail didn’t answer, as he was looking with curiosity at a final very small rod that was left without a lens at all. How strange. After moment the answer came to him, and he withdrew the Occular from within his wing.
“So now the final piece is adjoined with the Eye,” remarked Eybron as he dropped the Occular into place and moved the rod, “to complete the cycle and unlock its full potential… quite poetic don’t you think my dear?”
Star ignored the statement in her direction, as all she wanted was to know what would happen when the alignment occurred. Despite all that had happened up to this point curiosity burned within her mind, since this was her subject of teaching.
Eybron slipped the final rod into place, and peered through the iris with a look of anticipation.
“Hmm, not much difference at all,” commented the white wingtail with disappointment, “oh well I suppose the matter can wait…”
He hopped off the pedestal and glided down to where Star was watching, her guard Edwin moving out of the way for his master.
“…for now we must discuss our mating,” the villain finished.
Star’s blood ran cold. She was hoping to stall this for as long as possible, as the white wingtail had thus far been very courteous in giving her time to come around. Apparently his patience was running out. He took her hand with his own, and kissed her finger.
“Do you, Star; take me to be your mate and partner for all eternity?” Eybron recited, more out of tradition then anything else. A small hint in his tone implied ëor else’.
The scarlet wingtail whimpered softly, and she looked around for some way to get out of the question. All attention was on her right now, and by all accounts it was probably the most important decision of her life. On one wing, refusing would enrage Eybron and she could get seriously hurt or even killed for embarrassing him. On the other wing however, if she said yes it would mean betraying Sky and breaking the laws of trust within wingtail society. It was a no win situation.
“Well?” pushed Eybron and he squeezed her hand tighter with impatience.
Thankfully she didn’t have to answer, as the tense moment was interrupted by the shout of one of the other wingtails.
“Fire! The Forest is on Fire!”
Eybron and the rest of his wingtail army turned immediately on the spot only to see a wall of smoke and flame erupting on the other side of the clearing. The white wingtail gasped in surprise; trying to gather what caused the blaze… it wasn’t there a minute ago.
“Flee, fly away!” squawked one of the wingtails in the trees.
Suddenly almost every one of the thirty wingtails was in the air and soaring rapidly away from the burgeoning wall of fire. Star felt a pang of fear as the heat started to brush against her feathers. To his credit, her guard Edwin stepped in front of her to block it. The green wingtail then turned to look over his shoulder at Eybron who was standing all alone beside the Eye of the World.
The white wingtail looked once at the angle of the Eye and then again at the flames. All at once it occurred to him… now he knew why Benzon had abandoned it so many years ago… it could start fires! And not just any fires, but blazing infernos in less than a minute. Combined with a line of sight that was nearly limitless, it could be used to burn anywhere the Eye was pointed. The thought was immensely relishing, and Eybron rubbed his hands together with glee.
“And the world will burn at my whim,” he declared, almost a bit too loudly.
Edwin turned back towards Star.
“Fly away… let the council know about what has happened here,” he insisted desperately.
“But Sky is…” she began
“Alive?” questioned Edwin, “then you must find him too… the Occular was his charge only he will know how to stop this from becoming another Sonicron.”
Star nodded, and as the green wingtail released her she spread her wings and took off.
“So,” stated Eybron coldly, “you’ve revealed your true colours dear Edwin… I was wondering if you had any loyalty to your former friend and I see you have proven me right.”
“I was not in with Sky, Eybron,” the green wingtail answered, “but these atrocities go against all our values as wingtails… more innocents are going to die by your wings if I do nothing.”
“And unfortunately, so are you.”
Two wingtails, former trained members of Eybron’s Sonicron guardians, flew in and pinned Edwin to the ground. The green wingtail struggled but was unable to free himself.
“You will be a fitting example to those who betray me.”
Eybron nodded to another group of wingtails that had remained despite the encroaching fire.
“Find her, bring her back or else you three will be next.”
The three wingtails bowed slightly and took off in sequence. Seeing the matter as resolved, Eybron turned back to Edwin as he lay pinned to the ground.
“It’s a shame really,” he chided, “you held such promise.”
And on that note, the white wingtail cracked his knuckles in anticipation.
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This story id absolutely amazing! I love the plot and I hope to one day be as good a writer as you.
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For anyone who read this before 3:30 today please read it again! I just realized that a whole two paragraphs were omitted from the middle of the half part and I have added them back in.
Thanks for the compliment Redking, I'm glad for any and all support.
Caustizer
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Your welcome :DD
If I'm not asking too much of you, I would like the review of a great story writer as yourself on my own story please. I feel like it could be better but I need someone else's point of view.
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I have to say, this part works pretty well as its own chapter; :yes it’s certainly long enough. It only occurs to me now that you must write these chapters one storyline at a time, as opposed to alternating segments. I’m guessing that the as-yet-unwritten parts would have gone between the three parts posted here.
I recall you mentioning that you were hesitant to explain Eybron’s backstory, as you were concerned that it would cause readers to sympathize with him too much. I just wanted to mention that stating that Eybron not only killed the sharpbeak hatchling, but ATE it afterwards, was a good move for helping to minimize that sympathy. It makes me wonder what he did when the parent came, back, though. :unsure:
I liked the flashback conversation with Aizon; it gave him a bit of a history with Eybron and the events that led to the present crisis. It makes him seem more involved, and less like a character that you just threw in.
“The Sonicron is quite sacred my dear Eybron son of Tenebron,” Aizon had chided, “these are not mere stories but detailed recounts of events past and present.”
“Hah, next you’re going to tell me it causes earthshakes...”
Oh, the irony… :rolleyes :p
So Benzon disguised the Eye of the World as a tree… :blink: I guess that explains a lot; I was wondering how something so distinctive could have remained hidden for so long, especially from creatures that fly.
I had an adrenaline rush while reading the part in which the Eye of the World is revealed :)
[size0](though I do think I would have found the chapter even more exciting if the Eye’s purpose hadn’t been given away months ago). The way it works makes me think of “Archimedes’ death ray” from MythBusters. :lol It was supposedly a system of multiple mirrors held at angles, whose converging beams of reflected light that would set enemy ships on fire. I think this is even more interesting, though: a giant, many-lensed eye made out of volcanic glass that concentrates sunlight. (Makes me wonder if Benzon got the idea for it as a hatchling using a magnifying lens to fry bugs. :p)
Somehow I had previously been under the impression that Eybron had some idea of what the Eye of the World does, and that he needed the Occular to make it work. I probably thought that because of Glide’s mission to retrieve the Occular from Sky at the beginning of the story (especially since you later said that the Eye needs the Occular to work). That also got me thinking: if Sky had found the Eye and learned its secret, then doesn’t that mean that he found it disguised as a tree, uncovered it, and then redisguised it? Anyway, I guess Eybron was after the Eye just because he had a hunch that, if Benzon had hidden it, it must have been something even more powerful than the Sonicron.
There’s one part that confuses me: it feels like there’s something between the sentences where Edwin releases Star and Eybron discovers it. If Eybron had seen it happen, wouldn’t he have just sent the other wingtails to catch Star immediately?
In any case, poor Edwin…I think I know what his punishment will be. :(
Okeedokee…nitpickin’ time!
The Abyssal Jungle officially ended in the North Mountains, though the thick forest did not cease and simply made land travel even more difficult as the terrain became more broken. Vines and branches dominated the undergrowth and made flying at any speed treacherous for birds as large as wingtails, so they were forced to make their way above the canopy. It was the afternoon, and the sun shined down from the sky like an eye of gold* warming all in its presence with its rays.
I think “in” should be “at”. Also, while “undergrowth” can be used to describe the vegetation growing below the forest canopy, I would personally suggest that you change it to “understory”: the layer of vegetation above the forest floor and below the forest canopy.*Insert comma.
“one way or another, I will see to it that every creature with sharp teeth comes to a slow and violent end. As for where we are going… well… you will just have to wait and see* my dear.”
Because it begins a new sentence, ”one” should probably be capitalized, but this may be a stylistic thing, and I don’t think I’ve even been calling you on it consistently, so I’ll mention it just this once.
*Insert comma.
“You wanted the sharpteeth to attack us* didn’t you? I can tell… you’ve talked about hating them ever since…”
*Insert comma.
“When I was young, I was abandoned by my father… he cared so little about us that rather then tend to the nest he gathered support for a position on the council of elders…”
”He” should be capitalized.
“In the sharpbeak’s nest I was dropped as feed for its hatchling,”
”Feed” should be “food”.
Pulling the Coridan out from under his wing, the wingtail eyed the swinging bob of the small bell with concentration. Smartly, he removed the Occular from his other wing and placed it in his mouth so it couldn't vibrate as well. With a flick of his finger Eybron ringed the Cordian, filling the air with it's crisp and sweet sound. After a moment the note faded* leaving Star, Eybron, and Barrau soaring in silence.
”Cordian” is misspelled as “Coridan”, and “it’s” should be “its”.
*Comma.
The white wingtail sneered as it became clear * his little solution didn't work.
Since we find out that it DID work just a few moments later, perhaps a better word choice would be “apparent”, rather than “clear”. And just so the tense of the whole sentence is appropriate, I would insert “that” where indicated, and change “didn’t work” to “hadn’t worked”.
“It would appear that we have found our mark* Barrau,” corrected the white wingtail with pleasure, “our informant didn’t lie after all.”
*Comma.
Most of it was ridiculous superstition and wise tales only told the frighten hatchlings, and he made a point of letting the elders know he thought that way on numerous occasions.
Should be “to”.
“I have no time for this babble about speaking to the dead and touching sound* old one... just give me your blessing and go,” he had said as he stood face to face with the navy wingtail.
*[/color]Comma.
“The Sonicron is quite sacred my dear Eybron son of Tenebron,” Aizon had chided, “these are not mere stories but detailed recounts of events past and present.”
”Recounts” should be “accounts”.
*I would put a comma here, but it may be a stylistic choice.
Now that the horn was lost to the wingtails, the only other solution is the one found within the Eye of the World.
Should be “was”.
In the far distance the Black Mountain, or at least what remained of it, could be seen cloaked an in inky black cloud that blocked out the view behind it.
”An” and “in” should be switched around.
After * moment the answer came to him, and he withdrew the Occular from within his wing.
*Insert “a”.
“Alive?” questioned Edwin, “then you must find him too… the Occular was his charge* only he will know how to stop this from becoming another Sonicron.”
*Insert a semicolon, or at least a comma.
Oh, I’m so excited for what happens next! :DD
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I think that Eybron simply was lost in his revelation and held the betrayal more important then Star apparently getting away. It does appear odd, but having an army of wingtails at his command he likely knew Star had no escape.
Honestly this part could have been a chapter all on it's own, but I want to fit it all into a single chapter to try and keep all the acts approximately the sme length. Considering what I have planned for the marathon, I may run into this problem again and again as there is so much story to be explored.
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Again, Pangaea pretty much summed up my thoughts ;). Other than that, I too am excited to see where this goes :DD.
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Again, Pangaea pretty much summed up my thoughts ;).
Oh dear. :o Maybe I should start waiting for everyone else to post their thoughts on a chapter before I do. I hate being the only one commenting on the story, especially if I'm basically taking words out of other people's mouths. :unsure:
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^Oh, no! I did not mean that in a negative way whatsoever. It's perfectly fine that you're posting such detiled reviews. I was just saying (in a humorous attempt) that I agree with your post and have not much else to add to it. Sorry for the confusion :bang.
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Sorry; I know you didn't mean it negatively. It's just that I'd rather hear what other people thought of the chapter in their own words than being the only one making comments. Maybe it's just a neurosis of mine, but I've noticed a pattern that if I'm commenting on someone's art, stories, etc., there will be no one else (or almost no one else) doing the same. I don't like it for several reasons. One is that it makes me feel self-conscious that I am “hogging the observations”, saying all there is to say about a picture or story before anyone else can (That's what worried me when I read your comment). Another is that it makes me worry that other people who see the thread think, “Oh, Pangaea's reviewing it; well, he's so thorough that that artist/author doesn't need any more reviewers”. And while I enjoy reviewing, it puts pressure on me (especially since I review so many people's work), because I fear that if I stop posting comments, the artist/author will have no one else reviewing their work, and will stop making it (Sadly, I think that's already happened a couple of times :cry). I'd feel a lot more comfortable on a number of levels if more people were commenting on the artwork and stories I review. (It's such a concern of mine that I've considered stating this in my signature, or starting a thread to announce it in.)
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I think if Sky says what he thinks, it will be less of a downer on you Pangaea :angel
At first I viewed reviews as solely the choice of the reviewer and hence I did not push anyone to do it if they didn't want to. Now however after thirty or so chapters I don't think its wrong to expect reviews from certain members who have been following the story, since they in turn are expecting chapters from me :p
Caustizer
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Damn. Even by modern standards, the Eye of the World is destructive. And I never expected to be hidden as tree, I expected it to be hidden inside a cave or something, possibly dismantled.
And Eyebron's backstory makes us LESS sympathetic towards him
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Sky said this via PM:
Yeah, I've read the newest part of FAH on the day it came out.
The part where Eybron actually ate the sharpbeak hatchling was quite...ferocious. O__O
So the Eye of the World was indeed some kind of laser (as you mentioned somewhere in you 'Ask Me' topic long ago). It was a pretty smart idea to hide it as a tree.
Haha! You never cease to amaze me, my friend! I'm looking forward to the next installement.
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I actually wanted to post this myself, but you were faster. :p
Thank you for posting it nevertheless. :)
Yes, yes... I've been really busy and kinda absent here lately. I want to apologize. -_-
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Since the 29th is Sky's Birthday, I'll try really hard to have the next part up by then. It sucks that there is so much ground to cover for these last few chapters, but hey I guess you get more bang per posting that way :angel
Caustizer.
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I'm not trying to speak for Sky (though I'd assume he shares my feelings about this), but just as long as it's not rushed. Remember how after my birthday, you said that you wouldn't sacrifice chapter quality for the sake of punctuality. I'm pretty sure Sky would appreciate it as much as I that you don't write the chapter so hastily that you gloss over details.
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Oh no... I don't want to rush or force people to do something just because of my birthday. :o
I can wait, as long as the quality of the chapter will be superb (like always :angel). :)
But I really appreciate it for trying nevertheless. *hugs* :DD
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From here I'd say this looks like its not going to happen by Monday :(. I have a Midterm Exam on Monday as well as an assignment due, so i will be extremely pressed to get things done. I apologise to Sky in particular for not furfilling my duty to give you a birthday present, but I give you the best wishes and hope you have a happy birthday.
P.S. Sky and Star are planned to have a reuniting moment in this next bit, so when i do get it up it will be very appealing in terms of lore. Man this story just keeps getting better and better even though my inspiration has gone away a long ago. :angel .
Caustizer
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^ No, no. It's alright. :)
Just focus on your exams and assignments. I can wait. :^.^: And thank you for the wishes. :)
Now, hearing that Sky and Star will see each other again, it makes me totaly excited! :lol: Especially when you're saying it will be 'very' appealing. :wub: :angel
Hehe, this news is quite a good birthday present. :lol
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Man this story just keeps getting better and better even though my inspiration has gone away a long ago. :angel .
Oh no…what was your inspiration? :( Did it have anything to do with our reviews? :unsure:
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I guess it is my fault. :unsure:
I'm sure he wants to see more LBT artwork from me (especially the revised version of 'A Wingtail Family'), or it's because I sadly set Dawn of a Wingtail 'on hold'... :(
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No it's not Sky or anybody's fault.
It's actually for a couple of reasons:
1) Far Away Home is very old in my mind. I've gone over the ending so many times in my head and know it so well, it's actually boring and repetitive to type it down. I feel like I'm shoving down stale bread in that regard.
2) LBT studios is closed, so no new material (apart from Jittery Dragon's videos) will ever come up, so it isn't possible for me to come across anything inspiring within LBT anymore.
I've made up my mind to finish Far Away Home, but progress is so slow because I am both busy and a little bit on the low in regards to getting it done.
Caustizer
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^ Wow. Even if we don't have anything to do with them, those reasons are both pretty depressing to hear. :( :neutral
Anything we can do to help?
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It's fair to say there isn't.
Far Away Home is something I have to finish on my own, and keep in mind it is very close to being done in it's current state. I just did another two pages tonight (which amounts to about a third of the next part at least) and since my midterms are done I suppose I will have more time to work on it if I find I am inspired.
However, I find that Sky's art does definately give me a boost. Anything that keeps Sky, Star, and Glide as well as the gang in my mind will definately propell things along :angel.
Caustizer
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Then I shall work on a picture now! :DD Right after my two exams are over. I might finish it by the weekend. :angel
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Part IX: The Greatest Cause (B):
Later that afternoon, Sky was getting frustrated yet again at the denizens of their latest destination. He had been searching all day up to that point for the leader of these herds but so far he hadn’t gotten any helpful responses at all. At best the dinosaurs here were watched by some hidden protector, but at worst they were simply ignorant enough to believe that danger would never come. The most common response he had heard was that they didn’t have a leader at all.
The blue wingtail understood on some level that it was possible for the gathering of herds to tend only to their own, but they all seemed to get along far too well with so many different species intermixing freely with one another. For the limited time he had spent there he noted that the Great Valley appeared to work the same way, but the big difference between there and here was that they had a council that met in times of crisis. It is ironic that unlike the now long dead Verdant Valley dinosaurs, the Lush Valley was a disaster waiting to happen.
At one of Sky’s decidedly last stops for the day, he conversed with a Swimmer who claimed that she had been told a mysterious longneck named ëDoc’ watched over everyone and kept sharpteeth away. Hearsay for sure, as there was no way a single leaf-eater was enough to keep a menace like King Tyron at bay. The blue wingtail shuddered at the thought, and decided not to think about it. Dealing with sharpteeth was one of the poorest decisions of his life and he still regretted it, but nothing he could ever do would erase it. It was best to simply accept it and move on.
Setting down on a branch of a dead tree, Sky sighed and rubbed his face and frill with his hands. Brushing the head-feathers back a few times, his mind shifted to thoughts of what awaited him when he finally came home. The elders would probably try him and convict him of crimes against the wingtails for sure, judging on how Glide treated him on their last few run-ins.
In mid thought, a flash of scarlet wings caught his eye. The flyer was distant, and only in his line of sight for less than a second, but it triggered something within his mind. Could it be? What were the chances that she was all the way out here?
With a sudden burst of speed Sky took off from the branch and blasted off towards the place where he thought he saw her. Surprisingly he caught up pretty fast, as the flyer was moving erratically as if they didn’t know where they were going. A few hard wing beats, and a familiar smell hit his nostrils. Yes, it was definitely Star.
“Star,” called out Sky, “Star is that you?”
The scarlet wingtail jolted around to face him, and recognition appeared all over her expression. Sky was so glad to see her, it didn’t alarm him when she grabbed him in midair, and pulled him towards the ground.
“Wait, stop!” he shouted, “we’re doing down!”
She let go a few seconds before contact, but the force of the dive took them both right into the prickly bushes. The stabbing thorns bit into Sky’s feathers and coat, but they were not forceful enough to cause anything more then superficial pain. More then anything else, he was caught in the euphoria of the moment. Star was here! His mate was here and she was as beautiful as he remembered.
“Star,” stated Sky with pride as he pulled himself free, “I can’t believe it… you’re actually here!”
She shushed him with a finger to her mouth, and scanned the skies above.
“Be quiet,” she countered, “they’re coming.”
Sure enough, a few moments later a flight of birds carried overhead. Sky could tell by the shadow they were fellow wingtails, and there was quite a few of them. Why would Star be afraid of them? What was going on here?
“What is going on Star… are they pursuing you? Why are you-”
Sky was interrupted. He was halted not by her words or her expression, but by the connection of her lips to his own. Star had wasted no time, and as soon as the danger passed she turned and kissed him. It was a magical, instinctual thing that Sky had been craving these many nights. He had known for a long time he loved her, but the moment he was living now was larger then any of the doubts he had faced up to this point. He was with her again, and in that Sky knew he was home.
It was a while before they separated, but standing alone with thorns and missing feathers in their wings, Sky knew things couldn’t possibly be better. Finally gathering his senses, he focused on the concerns at hand.
“Star,” the blue wingtail started, “what is going on… why are you afraid of those wingtails?”
Star dawned a look of sadness, and looked away.
“It’s Eybron… he can’t stop hounding me day and night.”
“Eybron?” said Sky with surprise, “you mean the white wingtail who guards the Sonicron?”
“Yes,” pushed Star, and she clasped her hands around his, “this is his fault… all of it! He has been after me for seasons, and he is responsible for what the elders did!”
Sky was stunned. It was all so much to take in at once, he pushed her for more.
“What do you mean? What has Eybron done to wrong me?” he responded.
Breathing heavily, Star recomposed herself and bestowed upon Sky the truth.
“I’m sorry Sky… I haven’t been entirely true with you. A lot has happened since you left… bad things have happened…”
Undeterred, Sky hugged her and his head came over her right shoulder to whisper into her ear.
“Tell me what is hurting you, and I promise I’ll make it right.”
Heartened by his words, the scarlet wingtail continued.
“After they separated us the elders sent you to do their work, and it was Eybron’s fault… he got his father to convince the others you were the best wingtail to do it even though we had so recently been torn apart. He took advantage of your long absence and then got Glide out of the way so I would be alone and without his protection. The things he has done… they are unspeakable.”
Sky could tell she was upset, and held her even tighter. From what he knew Eybron was a tough and determined wingtail… if he was involved then things were pretty bad.
“Hush my dear, it’s alright you’re with me now.”
Clinching her eyes shut, Star suddenly became angry.
“No it’s not alright! He’s been pushing me around and every day he tries to force me to be his mate! It wasn’t that bad until he blew up the mountain with the Sonicron and found the Eye of the World and…”
“Wait, you mean HE blew up the mountain?” interjected Sky.
“Yes!” affirmed Star, “he used the glass horn to make the Black Mountain erupt… all because he wanted to put on a show, and get rid of you!”
All at once the darkness within him suddenly turned to light. A great weight lifted off Sky’s shoulders as he realized that the natural disaster that had followed them was not the will of the great circle, but the insidious work of another wingtail. Not only that, but the villain was trying to take Star away from him. Sky felt a primal hatred of Eybron brewing within him, an urge to bring justice and right the wrongs that had been laid upon him.
A set of shadows passed over them again, and the two wingtails ducked to avoid their pursuers. Emerging from the bushes, Star came up with a plan.
“They won’t stop searching until they find me… I have to go and lead them away…”
“No,” stated Sky firm, “I won’t let you be taken back to that… beast… of a wingtail again.”
Star turned away and moved into a clear spot where she could spread her wings. Sky stepped out to follow her, but she hissed loudly in his direction causing him to halt in surprise.
“Stay back!” she begged, “if they find you they’ll kill you!”
“Star I–”
“You have to hide Sky,” she continued, “go somewhere far away until I get back to the elders. Only they can stop this madness.”
Sky sighed, and slid back into the bushes. He had been running and hiding almost all of his life, and he was getting tired of it. There was an emotional movement within the wingtail that told him now as not the time for shiftiness and concealment, but the time to stand up to the monster that had made his life into dirt.
“I love you,” the blue wingtail added sadly.
“I love you too,” confirmed Star with deep sincerity.
After quickly making sure none of the pursuers were around and watching, the crimson wingtail spread her wings and took off into the sky, speeding away as quickly as she had came. Sky watched her go, and prayed that he would see her again. He knew in his heart that they both deserved to live happily together, even though events continued to conspire against him.
…
Putting a dozen trees behind her, something suddenly came into her mind Star had completely forgotten about. Silently, she cursed.
She hadn’t told him about the egg.
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Littlefoot felt ashamed. He could tell by the way Ali walked and the way she looked at him the female longneck was thinking about what Dara had said about the two of them earlier. Or was it something else bothering her? As much as he loved her company and knew her pretty well Ali was very complex. One season they were best friends and the next she was into some other longneck, having no time to play with him and the rest. Deep down though he really enjoyed being with her, and he hoped she would never go away.
“Littlefoot, who are we looking for again?” Ali asked in a bit of confusion, appearing as though she was being pulled around for things she didn’t understand.
“We’re looking for the Lone Dinosaur,” commented Littlefoot as he pushed a fern out of the way with his foot, “if we find Doc and tell him about the sharpteeth, he will know what to do.”
“Oww,” moaned Ali as the fern wacked her in the face, “but why do we need to do that? You already hurt that one sharptooth enough for all of them.”
Littlefoot stopped and turned his head.
“Because it’s not just happening to me. You heard what Sky said about Tyron, and how they are taking over herds and forcing them to get eaten one by one. If we don’t do something, another longneck or threehorn or spiketail is going to end up fatherless just like us.”
There was merit in what Littlefoot said, and Ali nodded slightly. She had been expecting it to have something to do with the vengeance that drove him to kill that one in the fire lands, but now Ali could see his purpose was noble. Notably, she found herself admiring his heroism and desire to help others. He would make a good mate someday.
Ali blinked. She had no idea where that thought came from, and it kind of shocked her to be thinking that way. Briefly though the moment passed and she carried on behind Littlefoot to find this ëLone Dinosaur’.
…
“Did you hear that?” Littlefoot asked suddenly about an hour later. He turned his head towards the sound.
“No,” admitted Ali, before adding, “what is it, what did you hear?”
The same sound happened again, and this time Littlefoot registered it clearly as did Ali.
“Hey, that sounds just like Sky when he was fighting off that sharptooth,” stated Ali without realizing what it meant.
Littlefoot did.
“Come on! Sky’s in trouble, we have to help him!” the longneck shouted, and he blasted on through the bushes.
Ali followed, and after a few minutes of hearing the echoes of a screeching wingtail through the forest the two longnecks finally reached its source in the middle of a wooded clearing. Brushing aside the last of the bushes, a disturbing scene played out in front of them.
Three wingtails had driven a fourth one down from the sky, and were attempting to subdue her. The victim had crimson feathers, and seemed to be doing everything she could to get away. She was the one making the horrible screeching noise, and after a few seconds she was caught by two of the at once and driven to the ground. They stuffed her face in the dirt to try and silence the crimson wingtail.
It was so horrible that Littlefoot decided to intervene, and he burst forward into full view so he could be clearly seen.
“Hey!” he shouted, “its three on one… let her go!”
One of the now grounded wingtails turned to the longneck and hissed while his companions made sure Star was unable to get away.
“Back off land walker… this is wingtail business and does not concern you.”
Ali caught up, and joined Littlefoot in his condemnation.
“Stop it!” she cried, “… go pick on someone your own size!”
The brown wingtail growled threateningly, and one of the others left Star to be held down by the last minion to join his senior in the confrontation.
“You have been warned… go away or we’ll see to it that those long necks of yours become an awful lot shorter.”
Littlefoot snarled in return and lowered his head, as did Ali. Normally his first instinct was to run, just like all other leaf-eater children, but the emotions of a young adult were kicking in inside his mind and he felt no desire to flee. These wingtails were just as mean as the ones in the Forgotten Forest, and they had to be put into place. Littlefoot was sure with Ali by his side they could take them, as the two of them had grown about a foot taller since they left the Great Valley and were a heck of a lot stronger.
The fight was about to commence when a shadow appeared over the group, and another wingtail landed softly on the ground in the middle of the dispute. His wings were a light grey, and his feathers were a clean, crisp white that made Littlefoot think this wingtail had to be a good one. He couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Senselessly fighting with the locals are we Barrau?” remarked Eybron, “and here I was about to praise your skill at remaining on task.”
Barrau looked around rapidly, as is trying to think of a way to redeem himself in the face of his master. Eybron frowned.
“Take her back to the Eye… we still have a mating ritual to complete.”
The guard holding down Star loosened his grip, and let her up. She immediately started screeching again, and the other guard clamped his arms around her in an attempt to silence her. Eybron looked displeased at the whole proceeding, but otherwise ignored Littlefoot and Ali as if they weren’t even there. After a moment he was satisfied that Star was going to cooperate and turned around with a hard look.
“I would suggest you both leave, lest I lose whatever little patience my mate’s escape has left me with.”
Littlefoot wasn’t sure what to do. That old instinct to run was coming back into him again, and now that the shock of the encounter had passed the longneck had half a mind to obey and flee. This newcomer was only slightly bigger then the other three, but his presence was much larger. He had the disposition not of a wingtail, but of a sharptooth restraining himself from pouncing on his prey and devouring it whole, and it was highly unnerving. A moment later Littlefoot had made his decision to obey. After all it was just a wingtail dispute right? He would have to tell Sky about it though, just in case it concerned his friend. He moved a step to depart, but was interrupted when a more familiar wingtail cry pierced the air.
Matching the intensity of Star’s cries, Sky ripped through the air and landed purposefully near the two longnecks. He was alarmed that they were here, but at least the wingtail had a few friends he knew he could count on. It was time to confront Eybron, and show him he wouldn’t stand for how the white wingtail treated Star.
“Unhand her Eybron,” demanded Sky with grit, “we are consented mates, and by the Laws of the Forest set down by the elders you cannot separate us!”
The two guards holding Star immediately let go, and she pulled away and hissed softly back at them. They may be in service to Eybron, but they had been convinced by their master that they were upholding the Laws for the greater good. Seeing his own minions were having second thoughts, the white wingtail went right into the matter.
“Sky? Hah, I can’t say I expected to see you here,” remarked Eybron with a bit of a laugh, “Out of all the rocks and rotten logs for a fugitive to hide, you had to pick the very mouth of the beast seeking to destroy you. I commend your bravery.”
“I don’t want your praise,” continued Sky, “just let her come with me, and you’ll never have to see us again…”
“See, now is where we come to a problem,” the white wingtail sighed, tapping his fingers together in anticipation, “it would appear that we are both desiring the very same female for courtship… how unfortunate.”
Star wondered why Eybron was doing this, but then it hit her. The white wingtail had all the power here, as with just a word he could have all his guards hunt down and tear her beloved Sky into pieces. He was just playing with the blue wingtail. The crimson wingtail watched in horror as even more of Eybron’s minions arrived and begun to fill the trees. From the dire and vengeful looks on their faces she could see that Sky’s time was running out even faster by the second. Not being able to bear it anymore, she cried out.
“Run Sky!” she shouted, “Fly away or he will KILL YOU!”
Eybron glanced back at her in anger and with a gesture one of his guards clamped his hand around her mouth. Sky snarled in rage.
“Fight me!” demanded Sky bravely, “fight me and we will see who is worthy of her courtship.”
“Me, fight you?” remarked Eybron with a snort, “like common sharpteeth? I think not.”
The white wingtail’s gaze narrowed. The time for games was over.
“It’s a shame it has to end this way, it really is. I was hoping that the Sonicron attack would have made things quick and painless for you, but I see you leave me no other choice.”
Eybron wiped both his eyes clean of mock tears with his wing.
“Bring him to me,” the wingtail commanded, “alive if possible… I want to enjoy his death like I enjoy his mate.”
Sensing that it was his moment, Littlefoot hopped in front of Sky and stared down the would be attackers.
“If you wanna hurt Sky, you have to go through me first!”
Ali followed suit.
“And me!”
“Littlefoot,” begged Sky, “this is not your fight… leave while you still can!”
Eybron laughed.
“Alright it looks like the land walkers have a death wish too… so be it. Kill them all for me.”
The thunderous roar of wings filled the clearing, and Sky was sure this was the end. It was like Eybron had said… so be it. He felt whole inside… whole in the sense that he would die defending his mate against hopeless odds, and that she would know his bravery and think of him always. The blue wingtail mourned however for Littlefoot and Ali. It was his fault they were here, and the debt he owed them and their parents would never be paid.
The rumbling of an earthquake shuttered the whole glen, and for a moment the circling wingtails held their attack in confusion. The Sonicron was in the claws of the sharpteeth… what could possibly cause it to happen again here? The answer was soon quite clear.
“Nobody is killing anybody on my watch.”
A large longneck, great even by the rest of his kind’s standards, strode into the clearing with purpose and might. His entrance was so shattering the wingtail guards dispersed back into the trees. This was a foe they definitely couldn’t face down even with their numbers. As he reached the two small longnecks and the blue wingtail, Littlefoot recognized him right away. It was none other than Doc, the lone dinosaur himself.
“Doc, Doc down here!” shouted Littlefoot.
The lone dinosaur looked down briefly at the source of the voice, and his eyes widened briefly in surprise. Quickly moving on however his eyes narrowed as he turned to face the only wingtail still remaining on the ground – Eybron.
“You flyer types have no place here threatening our young ones,” commented Doc with a hint of aggression, “get outta here before I drive you out myself.”
The wingtail guards looked to their leader for direction, and from the looks of things Eybron certainly wasn’t ready to back down.
“Hah, you fool… you think you are one to threaten ME?” the white wingtail boomed, “you don’t seem to see that it’s not your world anymore giant… it’s my world now, along with every creature in it.”
Doc snorted and lowered his head.
“If I knew what was good for me, I wouldn’t be talkin back to one ten times my size friend,” the longneck stated.
Littlefoot thought it was good advice, but clearly this was a clash of the titans in terms of wills. That white flyer was really nasty, but Doc had the advantage of sheer size. There was no way this ëEybron’ would ever push him around.
“You know what,” continued Eybron, “your kind is starting to make me angry… and when I get angry little valleys tend to burn.”
Doc grit his teeth.
“And when little flyers go mouthing off and make me angry, they tend to get squashed into the ground were they belong.”
The large longneck pressed his foot into the ground for emphasis, caving in a few layers of dirt in the process. Furious that he couldn’t win a fight of strength, Eybron spread his wings and took to the air. The other wingtails followed him, and Star was pushed along with them.
“You want to fight with ME?” shouted Eybron uncontrollably, “you’ve made your choice land walker. In the morning your home will be purged with my vicious fire! Your hatchlings will scream at their inevitable deaths, and your flesh and skin will peel away from the heat of your own folly! And then, as you draw last breath, I will be there…laughing above your charred corpse!”
A full minute past, and the wingtails were all gone… all of them except for Sky that is. Un phased by the outburst, Doc smiled slightly. Seeing that his duty was complete he turned down towards Littlefoot.
“You really aught to pick your enemies more carefully, friend.”
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Okay, the main story part of Far Away Home is officially over.
Admitedly, I'm considering not doing a Marathon for the next four chapters since it requires an enormous amount of work and may not be done for months at my current writing rate.
What do you guys think? Would you rather I write them all over the course of months and then post them all within a week of each other in one big finale, or would you rather I continue with my normal format of posting the chapters as I finish them?
Let me know after your reviews, thanks.
:angel
Caustizer.
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Sorry for the delay; I’ve been so slow with everything this week. :bang (It took me hours just to write this. :wacko)
I keep forgetting just how detached (knowledge-wise) Sky and his companions are from the events that are affecting the other characters. This chapter really drove it home with all the information Star gave to Sky; it showed just how oblivious he was to all the drama taking place elsewhere. (It’s amazing to realize that he wasn’t even aware that Eybron had anything to do with it. :!) She forgot to tell him about the Eye of the World, though. :slap (Speaking of which, I’m very concerned for the Verdant Valley at this point. :unsure:)
I also really liked how you wrote the scene of Littlefoot and Ali’s encounter with Eybron. I thought it was some really good POV work, especially how you described Eybron from Littlefoot’s perspective; how Littlefoot finds him intimidating despite having never met him before and not even knowing who he is.
The confrontation towards the end was the most exciting part for me. I loved Doc’s entrance (Good thing his punctuality hasn’t changed. :p) It felt strange (as well as interesting and refereshing) to see him confront a flock of wingtails rather than a sharptooth or a natural hazard. I’m surprised Sky didn’t chase after Star when the other wingtails dragged her off, though.
“Because it’s not just happening to me. You heard what Sky said about Tyron, and how they are taking over herds and forcing them to get eaten one by one. If we don’t do something, another longneck or threehorn or spiketail is going to end up fatherless just like us.”
Just a comment: longnecks, threehorns, and spiketails wouldn’t be the only species Littlefoot would care about, so I think it would make more sense for him to say “someone else”, “another dinosaur”, “other dinosaurs”, or even “other leafeaters” or “another leafeater”.
It is ironic that unlike the now long dead Verdant Valley dinosaurs, the Lush Valley was a disaster waiting to happen.
Should be “was”.
The elders would probably try him and convict him of crimes against the wingtails for sure, judging on how Glide treated him on their last few run-ins.
I think this should be “by”.
With a sudden burst of speed Sky took off from the branch and blasted off towards the place where he thought he saw her. Surprisingly he caught up pretty fast, as the flyer was moving erratically as if they didn’t know where they were going.
”Saw” should be “had seen”, both “they”’s should be she, and “were” should be “was”.
“Star,” called out Sky, “Star* is that you?”
I would change the comma to an exclamation point.
*Insert comma.
Sure enough, a few moments later a flight of birds carried overhead. Sky could tell by the shadow * they were fellow wingtails, and there was quite a few of them.
”Shadow” should be plural, and “was” should be “were”.
*Insert “that”.
“What is going on* Star**… are they pursuing you? Why are you-”
“Star,” the blue wingtail started, “what is going on**… why are you afraid of those wingtails?”
*Insert comma.
**Insert question mark.
“Oww,” moaned Ali as the fern wacked her in the face, “but why do we need to do that? You already hurt that one sharptooth enough for all of them.”
Should be “whacked”.
The brown wingtail growled threateningly, and one of the others left Star to be held down by the last minion to join his senior in the confrontation.
Since Littlefoot and Ali don’t know who Star is at this point, I don’t think her name should be used here.
Littlefoot was sure * with Ali by his side they could take them, as the two of them had grown about a foot taller since they ** left the Great Valley and were a heck of a lot stronger.
*Insert “that”.
**Insert “had”.
After all* it was just a wingtail dispute* right? He would have to tell Sky about it* though, just in case it concerned his friend.
*Insert comma.
The rumbling of an earthquake shuttered the whole glen, and for a moment the circling wingtails held their attack in confusion.
”Shuttered” should be “shuddered”, and since this is LBT, I would personally use “earthshake”.
A large longneck, great even by the rest of his kind’s standards, strode into the clearing with purpose and might. His entrance was so shattering * the wingtail guards dispersed back into the trees.
*Insert “that”.
“Doc, Doc* down here!” shouted Littlefoot.
This may be a stylistic choice, but I would change the comma to an exclamation point.
*Insert comma.
“If I knew what was good for me, I wouldn’t be talkin* back to one ten times my size** friend,” the longneck stated.
*Insert apostrophe.
**Insert comma.
“You want to fight with ME?” shouted Eybron uncontrollably, “you’ve made your choice* land walker. In the morning your home will be purged with my vicious fire! Your hatchlings will scream at their inevitable deaths, and your flesh and skin will peel away from the heat of your own folly! And then, as you draw ** last breath, I will be there…laughing above your charred corpse!”
A full minute past, and the wingtails were all gone… all of them except for Sky* that is.
Un phased by the outburst, Doc smiled slightly. Seeing that his duty was complete he turned down towards Littlefoot.
“You really aught to pick your enemies more carefully, friend.”
“Past” should be “passed”, “un phased” should be one word, and “aught” should be “ought”.
*Insert comma.
**Insert “your”.
I won’t be posting my opinion regarding the FAH marathon yet. One reason is because the last time such a query was made, I was the only one to respond :huh: (unless the others did so by PM :unsure:), which fueled my concerns that every time I give feedback, other readers are discouraged from doing the same. (C’mon, people! Prove me wrong!) So this time, I’ll be waiting for others to post first. The other reason is that, honestly, I’m not sure what my preference is yet. :oops
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Sorry for my absence! :o Been super busy with stupid things (like unnecessary homework)...
Darn! The little reunion of Sky and Star was beautiful and quite sad at the same time. :) Excellent chapter! :^.^:
Heh, how could she just forget telling him about their egg? It sounded like vital information. I wonder...
Anyhow, I found Doc's entrance awesome! Just right at the very last moment. :D
Hmm... reading Star driven to the ground made twitch a little (only a little ;)). It's not that I didn't like it, it was quite refreshing (...that sounded kinda blunt) :p
Ha! My heart was beating so strong while reading this chapter! :DD
Hmm... I'm not quite sure about the marathon. :unsure:
On the one hand, you could see the marathon as a really BIG chapter. It would be a great read for a finale. Yet, it would take too much time to finish, thus, you would probably be unmotivated to work any further. On the other hand, posting new chapters as you finish them would give you a lot of room for reviews (even though, Pangaea is probably the only one reviewing in such detail). But still, doing so might 'ruin' the grand finale. When it's over, people wouldn't be much interested on the, let's say, epilouge after waiting a long time for the next part to be up...
Haha! I probably don't make any sense what I'm talking about. :lol: I leave the rest up to you. ;)
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As always the reviews are appreciated.
Man I love suspense! One could remark that I didn't include Star in the flashbacks for a reason, just so that I could pull that "Does she live or die" card later in the story later :angel, but really that would only be partially true.
A thing I love about the last few chapters is how many questions they answer, how many loose ends they tie, and as well showing just how things end for my (and Sky's) characters! To me, the end is always the best part, since after all I have been planning it for over a year now.
Today, I wrote up the first page for Marathon Part I: The Battle of the Sonicron. Not much, but its at least a good thing to know its being worked on right?
Caustizer :DD
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Today, I wrote up the first page for Marathon Part I: The Battle of the Sonicron. Not much, but its at least a good thing to know its being worked on right?
Absolutely! :yes Not just good, but comforting to know, and keeps us alert to the fact that the story is still going on. Please continue to keep us posted! :smile
I still can't decide on my preference for how you post the final chapters. I suppose I'm leaning towards waiting and posting them all at once, but that's just a thought off the top of my head. :unsure: You might want to consider directly asking the opinion of known readers of the story in their question threads.
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Progress on the next chapter is chugging along at a good pace, and it will likely take a decent amount of time to complete. Since The Battle of the Sonicron effectively concludes the whole 'Ruby's Gang' side of the storyline, it has to be done correctly otherwise all the ends don't come together right. There's a lot of ground to cover, so bear with me here. :angel
Caustizer.
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Since The Battle of the Sonicron effectively concludes the whole 'Ruby's Gang' side of the storyline, it has to be done correctly otherwise all the ends don't come together right.
Ah. That bit of information goes a long way in influencing my preference as to how you post the chapters. I had anticipated that the three storylines would come together in the next chapter or two and effectively end as one, or that each chapter would contain separate sections, each focusing on a different storyline. (Obviously I completely failed to consider the pattern of each chapter being dedicated to a separate storyline. :rolleyes)
Truthfully, I think I find Ruby's group's storyline to be the most interesting of the three, so if it is going to be completely wrapped up in a single chapter, I guess I would rather read that chapter at the same time as the others. However, I suspect that I am outvoted on this issue, considering that everyone else to respond to this query has stated a preference for the chapters being posted one at a time (although I cannot know whether they were aware of this information either).
In any case, it's very good to hear that you're making progress on the chapter. :yes
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Regretfully, these ending chapters are ending up to be DOUBLE the length of the double length chapters previously posted (making them four times as long in total as a regular chapter, also forgive the Ruby Speech) so I'm going to have to post each of them in two parts it looks like. So without further ado, since I know you all have been waiting for it... I present the ending Act of Far Away Home.
Act Five: The End Time
Part X: The Battle of the Sonicron (A)
The jungle runners began preparations early, and assembled before the great circle had risen fully above the horizon with haste. Ruby’s side of the gang had not gotten used to the tendency of their new friends to get up really early (unlike Littlefoot’s side which had Sky, who always got up early as birds tend to do) so the fastrunner, the egg-stealer, the spiketail, and the threehorn were sluggish and grumpy as Swiftwalker arose each of them individually.
“Argh,” yawned Cera, before turning towards Gentry “that runner is almost as annoying as you are.”
Gentry was busy brushing the dirt off his skin from sleeping on the ground, and halted mid-swipe with indignity.
“Hey now, where did I ever wake you all up so early?… I swear you like to blame me for bloody everything.”
Ruby was considerably more accommodating, and after spending almost a week with the male runner and his family she had grown accustomed to his daylight-saving nature and adjusted to it.
“We prepare for battle with Sharpteeth,” stated Swiftwalker with confidence, “you wish me luck. Maybe, I bring home much meat for pack.”
Seeing through his brave demeanour, Ruby could see that underneath he was anxious and afraid. Swiftwalker was very well learned on sharpteeth and what they did to other creatures for meat or sport, and there was a primal instinct within him that expressed he could actually die here… his eventful and fun life could end with the swipe of a claw or the clamping of sharp jaws.
“I know you will,” added Ruby, “If there is a cause worth fighting for then there is no cause worth fighting for like fighting for your family.”
The male runner looked like he didn’t understand, and he peered back at her in confusion.
“Egg-stealer right… you talk funny.”
“Hah,” laughed Ruby, “that makes two of us, doesn’t it.”
And she extended her nose toward his and licked him, right on the front of his face. It was so surprising that Swiftwalker flexed his nostrils, and rubbed his face to prove that the kiss he had just received was actually real.
“Good luck,” wished Ruby with sincerity as she hugged him, “please come back safe when you come back… I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“I come back,” replied Swiftwalker enthusiastically, “you wait and see.”
Siak was waking up as well, and she yawned loudly revealing her rows of white teeth. Licking her lips a few times to take a away the remnants of the morning she interrupted Ruby and Swiftwalker’s tender moment.
“Ah young love… I remember when I was smitten like you two. Mais used to fish for hours on end for me, even when I wasn’t hungry. I tell you, one like him doesn’t come around that often for a female like me.”
“Who are we talking about again?” butted in Cera, taking the lead into the conversation even though it wasn’t her business.
Siak looked a bit uncomfortable, and scratched the ground with one of her feet nervously. She clearly didn’t like to talk about her former mate with others, even though the subject kept coming out of her on a few occasions.
“Mais was her mate,” explained Ruby sadly, “...the sharpteeth killed him.”
“No...” whimpered Siak, “...it wasn’t the sharpteeth...”
Ruby looked genuinely surprised, but Cera wasn’t familiar with the story and insensitively pushed for more information.
“Well then who did?” the threehorn questioned.
Siak turned away, and walked rapidly in circles with a jumpy motion like she was trying to find something else to do to escape the reality of the answer.
“Don’t think that’s a good idea shera-mate,” put in Gentry with concern, “she looks kinda upset if you ask me.”
Thylo looked confused, but was otherwise unusually silent.
Siak finally stopped, and turned back towards the young dinosaurs. A tear was running down the side of her eye, but she looked otherwise in control. Ruby briefly showed a disappointed glance at Cera before hopping forward.
“I’m sorry you feel so bad,” the fastrunner said sincerely, “Cera likes to make others feel bad sometimes.”
“Hey,” interjected Cera angrily, “all I did was ask a question, and now I’m bad? ... Chomper’s been missing for several great circle rises and you haven’t even bothered looking for him.”
“They’ve been doing the looking for us,” insisted Ruby with a tone of desperation, “the jungle is so big and strange, it would be too dangerous for us to go out too.”
Cera stomped her foot in defiance.
“That certainly doesn’t sound like the Ruby I know. Chomper was everything to you and now you just let him go like he no longer matters at all? Maybe if you weren’t spending every night with your new friend...”
The comment touched a nerve, and Ruby instinctively stepped forward into a more aggressive stance and tightened her fists. Swiftwalker saw what was happening, but stood by unsure what to do. This was about things he didn’t understand. Cera crouched low and snorted, and it appeared like a fight was going to happen for sure.
Suddenly and completely unexpectedly Thylo bounded forward in between the fastrunner and the threehorn just before they met, keeping them apart with her strong arms. The dark green spiketail was always so passive and playful, the action caught both Cera and Ruby by surprise and they backed off.
“I see that you are both bad!” interjected Thylo with a bit of her own anger, “You fight and yell at each other over bad things that haven’t happened yet when the spike mouth is upset about bad things that have already happened and were really really bad! Fighting is wrong and is only making things even more bad cause everyone is feeling worse already!”
Both the would-be combatants began to feel guilty for their near fight, and their body language showed it. Ruby looked down and rubbed one of her arms, while Cera pushed some dirt with one of her feet absently. As all glances turned towards Siak, she rubbed away the second tear with her clawed hand.
“I think it’s high time I got all these ëbad things’ off my chest,” she said with regret, “you all aren’t kids anymore after all, and it’ll sure do me good anyways.”
Siak swirled around and stood up higher to regain her composure. Sitting down with both her legs at once, she began her story.
“When the sharpteeth came me and Mais were catching water swimmers in one of the rivers of the Lonely Mountains, by Oasis Valley... or at least what used to be Oasis Valley. I think they call it Fang Valley nowadays. Anyway, he saw them and we tried to run but they were Stalkers born and bred to run us down so we didn’t stand a chance with our insides full of water swimmers.”
Siak readjusted her position, twitching her tail back and forth.
“To save me and my babies, he turned around and tried to fight them off. I got away, and when he never followed I went back to look for him...and...and...”
She had to recompose herself again, as tears were starting to flow.
“If it hurts that much, maybe you shouldn’t tell us,” stated Ruby sadly, but Siak waved her comment away.
“No, I need to do this dear... it’s for me.”
Again, Siak rocked on her back legs to get comfortable while seated.
“When I found Mais he was still alive... but... since he wouldn’t join them they cut his legs. ëRun with us or not at all’ they told him, and he refused. Before he told me his last wishes, he made me promise to carry them out... and I did.”
“What did he ask of ya?” inquired Gentry, who was engrossed in the story like the rest of them.
Siak did not answer with words, but instead extended one of her claws and ran it from one side of her throat to the other about an inch off, and every one of the young dinosaurs gasped. More tears began to flow down the spike-mouth’s face, but she actually looked better now than she did before. Mais’ last wish was for his beloved to kill him, so he didn’t have to suffer death by infection or worse. It broke her heart to do it, since she had never had to use her claws or teeth on anything larger then a water swimmer.
After a long minute of silence, Cera spoke up.
“Sorry,” she admitted, which was a rare thing for her, “... I... didn’t know it was that bad.”
“Oh, I should be the sorry one,” remarked the spike mouth with strength, “getting all choked up about something that happened many many seasons ago... I like to draw happiness from raising the young ones like you to keep my mind off it... my mother’s instinct you know.”
“You had babies,” remarked Swiftwalker out of curiosity, “where they go?”
Ruby and probably the other four were expecting the worst, but the answer was quite homely.
“They hatched, grew up, and went off to make their own way in the world,” answered Siak with pride, “I like to think that in them Mais is still here in a way... even though he might be gone in the flesh.”
In a flash three jungle runners bounded through the clearing, narrowly missing the group. Siak snorted in annoyance at the sudden intrusion.
“I’ll say they better watch where they’re going next time... that’s mighty rude of them to run through us like that.”
Another adult runner bolted into the clearing, but this time he stopped in their presence.
“Sharpteeth in the woods... you all move, follow me!” he insisted.
Swiftwalker jumped up and obeyed immediately, while the others were slightly slower. Soon Swiftwalker, Ruby, Cera, Chomper, Siak, Gentry and Thylo were running through the forest, dodging branches and blasting through shrubs as fast as they could run. Drawing from her new experience in dealing with the jungle terrain, along with the lessons learned from their new friends, Ruby caught up with the adult runner. Brushing along side him and barely matching his strides, she thought to inquire about the danger of the current situation.
“Why…are we running?...” breathed Ruby.
The adult male runner, who was only slightly smaller than her dad gradually slowed down until he came to a complete stop, and she matched him. The others were farther behind, but unsurprisingly the first of them to arrive was Swiftwalker followed by a tired out Siak.
“Just what the blazes are we hustling along for?” Gentry commented as he examined one of his feet, “my foot hurts like a buzzy sting.”
“Hah… join the herd,” muttered Cera under her breath.
“Be quiet,” hissed Siak sternly after catching her breath, before whispering, “keep your eyes and ears open.”
The runner had ignored Ruby, but not because he was being mean. Word had spread about that there were sharpteeth around, and right now it was more important that he listened for their silent footsteps and low snarls to learn if danger might be near. Swiftwalker instinctively knew the procedure, and followed suit by observing in a direction of his own. After a minute, the adult runner turned to Siak.
“Not find sharpteeth,” he commented, “you go back… guard hatchlings.”
“Oh you don’t need to fluff your tail all up about them,” commented Siak in an upbeat manner, “They’re all with their mommies and daddies until the high Great Circle when we go hunting for water swimmers.”
The adult runner nodded briefly.
“Then you guard other runner friends… in case more sharpteeth –”
A sudden roar echoed through the large canopy trees. It was so loud, the small flyers in the branches scattered to the winds in fright. The cavernous call was soon followed by another, slightly softer bellow. There were sharpteeth nearby, and they were definitely really big.
“You hide, all of you,” pressed the runner urgently, but there was little need as the two legged dinosaurs in the group had already dropped to the ground in fear.
Gentry covered his head with his hands and whimpered, while Siak’s response was similar but less cowardly. Swiftwalker and Ruby had pushed to the ground together, though the male had unfortunately done most of the pushing. The sudden shock of the sound was so surprising Ruby didn’t even have a chance to recognize the slight familiarity of the pitch before she was prone on the ground next to Swiftwalker.
“I go! Must warn Alpha… sharpteeth coming!” decreed the adult runner in a half whisper as he crouched down low.
In a split second he was gone dashing through the undergrowth.
“Hey Ruby,” commented Cera calmly as he walked up next to the runner and her shaking male friend, “is it just me or do those sharpteeth sound familiar?”
Apart from Thylo, who appeared to enjoy the thunderous roars, Cera was the only one of the bunch that had remained almost perfectly calm with the exception of a small jolt of surprise. Part of her coming into maturity was that she was becoming more and more fearless, as threehorns tend to do, and was only remotely startled by the threat.
“Hey,” gasped Ruby in surprise, “you’re right… it’s Chomper’s parents!”
Siak looked up, and Gentry uncovered his eyes.
“Well I’ll be… I didn’t know that little bug eater had folks so big!” commented the white egg-stealer with a bit of relief.
The female spike-mouth brought a claw to the front of her face and tapped her scales in thought.
“You say that little sharptooth we lost had parents around here!?! By all the swims why didn’t you tell us girl… they have probably gone half mad looking for him and…”
Siak hiccuped in fright at the revelation.
“…looking for us!”
“No it’s not like that,” reassured Ruby desperately, waving her hands, “his parents told me to look after him… and I’ve been looking after him since they told me. They told me they were going away for a while, but they didn’t tell me where!”
The crashing sounds of stomping feet and cracking tree trunks could be heard through the forest, though it was still a distance away and didn’t seem to be heading towards the deep woods they now resided in.
“We’ll they’re here now girl!” shouted Siak to overcome the loudness, “do something before we all get chomped into bones!”
And Ruby did. She bounded forward towards the sounds, blasting through the undergrowth with the full speed granted to her kind. Swiftwalker found his courage too, and followed her with purpose.
“Here we go again…” remarked Cera, referring with dread to another burst of running, “I just hope this time they aren’t hungry…”
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Chomper had been walking for hours, but it was something he was pretty used to by now. After all he had been trekking for months now with Ruby and the rest so he was in very good shape. In addition, walking on his toes was proving more and more comfortable each day, to the point where he didn’t want to stand flat footed at all anymore and it hurt a little bit to do so.
Apart from all the walking though, he was in very high spirits and he followed his parents through the forest with pride and purpose. The last few days had been an adjustment, but learning to live like a sharptooth again was refreshing even though he didn’t enjoy the more gruesome aspects of it. Both his mother and father were proud of him… not only for coming out so far and finding them but also because he had proven his phenomenal strength and endurance in their eyes beyond what any of the plans they had for him were.
He learned that against his mother’s wishes his father had opted not to return to their former territory near the Great Valley, since they had found an even better region of dominance in the steppe lands just west of the Abyssal Jungle in their travels. The land was rich with prey, and more importantly it didn’t intrude on Tyron’s domain… at least not in practise. More and more frequently they were having run-ins with the fast-biters of the Tyrant King’s pack, and a couple of times they had caught the Stalkers attempting to destroy their non-existent eggs to weaken their family as a whole to make them vulnerable to any future expansions their master might attempt. For this reason, as well as the onset of old age, the sharptooth pair hadn’t mated since they left their old territory behind. Now that Chomper was here and growing up strong, it meant a new burst of hope for them and their family’s future.
The young sharptooth had told his parents all about his adventures and all the new friends he had made, but it was only a brief mention since he could tell they were hardly interested in his friendliness towards the leaf-eaters. Instead, he switched to a topic that was more interesting to them – the quest that that wingtail ëAizon’ gave Ruby to unite the wingtails and the jungle runners against Tyron to end his empire. His folks took great interest in ending the threat of the Tyrant King and his pack, and before long he had convinced them to offer their assistance to the fight… provided they didn’t eat any runners or wingtails along the way.
Glide was a bit of a different story.
The black wingtail found the company of sharpteeth both unnerving but full of reward at the same time. He didn’t like how he couldn’t hear what they were saying, and the aggressive and vulgar (by wingtail standards) nature of their speech always give him the impression they were plotting to eat him behind his back. On occasion Chomper had translated a few things for him, but for the most part he was content to remain in the air and far out of their reach. As for the rewarding side of things… let’s say that he wasn’t picky when it came to meat and his new travelling companions provided lots of leftover meat.
“The clearing I told you about it just ahead,” mentioned Glide as he swooped down over Chomper, “keep going and we will reach the meeting ground.”
The young sharptooth looked up and his flying friend.
“Thanks for guiding us…” replied Chomper with a smile, “you know you’re actually turning into a nice wingtail.”
“Hah,” snorted Glide in a friendly manner as he circled very slowly close to the ground, “watch it sharptooth… I can turn mean again in a heartbeat.”
Chomper grinned. The black wingtail had come a long way since they first met in the cave.
Chomper’s dad turned around and growled in his son’s direction, tilting his head slightly and then righting it again. An exchange took place between the father and his son, and it was odd but Glide had gotten used to it. From a vague guess, the wingtail surmised that they had finally pushed their way through the Abyssal Jungle enough to reach the meeting clearing.
Last night Glide had been up late patrolling the skies… thanks to Chomper’s parents he had eaten already, so tonight he wasn’t doing it because it was he was hungry. No, he was just flying for the sake of exercise… it was a habit he had when he came across some free time. Apart from his love for his sister and his lust for shiny objects, the one thing that Glide found his passion in was rigorous, hard training for the Fish Fights that happened every year during the Fish Festival. Being in the absolute peak of fitness not only made him feel good, but it also protected him from some of the lesser sicknesses that other wingtails often died from. Now matter what… he always had to be there in case Star needed him and the best chance of that was through being in peak condition at all times.
Through his routine of flight exercises he sighted the burning column produced by an unknown fire source in the night. Sweeping over the scene briefly he sighted both wingtails and runners, and surmised that the alliance had been made… just like Aizon had arranged for it to be. Hurrying back to Chomper and his parents, his directions ensured they would come to exactly the right place to join the fight.
Chomper’s parents halted and the young sharptooth dashed into the forested clearing they had just broken through the brush into. Looking around, his first observation was that it was completely empty… there wasn’t a trace of a single living creature in sight. Sniffing the air a few times with his powerful sniffer, it confirmed that fact.
“Where is everybody?” questioned Chomper in bewilderment as he completed his check.
“They probably ran off,” responded Glide next to him on the ground, “you’re parents aren’t exactly quiet ones.”
Chomper lowered his head, and sniffed the ground some more to find a potential trail. His thinking had only concentrated on getting them to the clearing to hopefully meet up with Ruby and the others, but he hadn’t considered the fact they might run away because of how imposing his parents are. The only solution left now was to try and find a scent to follow and hope it led to a friendly face. Unfortunately, there were tons of different smells here… to the point where it was hard to separate them. This was going to be difficult.
“Chomper…Chomper!” called out Ruby, bursting out from the underbrush of leaves in a fluttering storm of displaced leaves. Behind her was a strange runner Chomper had never seen or smelt before.
“Ruby!” cried out the young sharptooth in joy.
The two ran towards each other, and met somewhere in the middle right near the place where Ruby and Siak had sat during the Runner-Wingtail meeting the night before. Not wasting a moment, they hugged one another.
“I’m so glad your safe,” mentioned Ruby in his ear.
“Yeah,” answered Chomper agreeably, and she released him. Strangely enough, he was almost as tall as she was now.
“Sorry I ran off,” he added in regret, “but I found my folks… and they’re here to help with the really bad sharpteeth!”
Ruby shifted her gaze towards Chomper’s parents, and they looked back at her. It was hard to tell what the older sharpteeth felt towards the runner child they had so long ago entrusted to watch over their son, but there was no better time then now to find out.
Chomper’s dad stepped forward, and begun to speak in his low sharptooth tones.
“You have much explaining to do runner… why were you not guarding our son like we entrusted you to?”
Unsatisfied with her companion’s reaction, Chomper’s Mom stepped in as well.
“I agree with my mate, however I will add that we are in you and your family’s debt for keeping our son safe and fit in body to make a fine hunter someday. For this and this alone, we will grant you are sharptooth’s trust.”
Chomper’s dad didn’t like the sentiment very much, as shown by the snarl forming on his massive visage. ëSharptooth’s trust’ essentially meant that whoever earned it would not be considered an enemy over mates or territory, and it is usually reserved for immediate family members (such as a father wouldn’t take his son’s territory, or a mother would allow her daughter to remain within her territory until her offspring finds a suitable mate) or rare situations of life debts.
Chomper made ready to translate Ruby’s response, as he had done during their first encounter so long ago, but the fastrunner didn’t need it this time.
“Thank you,” Ruby managed in sharptooth.
It was hard to tell who was more surprised – Chomper’s parents, Swiftwalker, or the hundred jungle runners that emerged from their hiding places within the grasses and undergrowth at the moment they saw the exchange doing favourably. It was a fairly impressive scene all around.
“You speak to great sharptooth like equal?” shouted a great adult runner from the other side of the open grassy area, who would turn out to be the Great Alpha, “…how you do that?”
In response, Ruby laughed a little bit.
“They asked me to take care of Chomper here,” she said putting a hand on the young sharptooth’s shoulder, “…so I took care of him just like they asked.”
Whispers swirled around as various runners discussed the meaning of this new development. The Great Alpha ignored them, and continued.
“Does this mean they friend to us?” the great male runner questioned.
Ruby looked back at Chomper’s parents. Without pause, the young sharptooth next to her translated the question. The two older sharpteeth looked somewhat reluctant to associate with the smaller runners as ëfriends’ even though they had dicussed at length the mutual benefit of an alliance. Chomper’s mom just smiled slightly, while his dad rolled his eyes. He hated giving up such a massive free meal… even if it meant hitting back at Tyron.
Satisfied it was settled, Ruby turned back to the Great Alpha.
“They are friends.”
A few of the runners cheered loudly, and eventually the whole thing picked up as all the jungle runners celebrated their newfound allies. If the outcome of the coming battle had been in doubt before, in their minds it was almost a guaranteed victory now.
“I must say… you have impressed me once again my young plains runner.”
Ruby jerked her head upwards towards the sky, as did Chomper, to observe a familiar navy blue wingtail with an echelon tail circling low overhead. Aizon had arrived.
Coming for a smooth landing in front of the two runners and the sharptooth, the Grand Creator placed his hands together in both an expression of pride and thoughtfulness. Readjusting his elegantly crafted glasses, the highly intelligent wingtail stepped forward towards them.
“Wow,” mused Chomper in wonder, “…what is that thing on your head?”
Aizon smiled smugly… he loved getting the chance to explain his creations.
“This is an external vision corrector, modified from a thrice bent rod of pure volcanic glass and moulded in a thermalic vent for precisely thirty-six denticells before being shaped to fit my hornic nose… but enough about me.”
It was a good thing Aizon decided to switch topics, as he had pretty much lost everyone on the fourth word.
“I was right to give this task to you Ruby… your multitude of friends will lend us the power we need to beat the greatest of the sharpteeth that will stand in our way. I am proud of you.”
“Thank you,” responded Ruby, glad for his condolences.
Surprisingly, Aizon turned to Swiftwalker next.
“You should keep her close… she’s a nice ëcatch’ if you know what I mean.”
Swiftwalker was confused at the statement, and turned towards Ruby for help.
“What wingtail mean you ënice catch’… you not water swimmer.”
Ruby didn’t answer... not because she didn’t know what to say but because she was far too busy blushing with friendly embarrassment.
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Glide left the clearing as soon as it became apparent that all parties involved were in safe hands. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the events transpiring there, since he had other more important business to attend.
He had seen wingtails last night, and not just any wingtails but the elders themselves – both the blessing and the bane of his current existence. A blessing in the sense that he had met friends he otherwise would never have had, and a bane in the sense that their edicts forced him into the crowd with Eybron and kept him away from protecting his sister. Now that they were so close, he wanted answers.
A few hours later the great circle was just starting to dip as the late afternoon set in, and the black wingtail came across the current residence of the most important wingtails in the world… which turned out to be a dimly lit collection of canopy trees separated from the mainland on an island in the Abyssal Lake. The elders clearly valued the protection from land attacks that was provided, and with things being so tense lately between the wingtails and the land walkers of all types it was better safe than sorry.
Glide coasted up to the biggest of the trees, and two wingtails took off to try and stop him.
“Halt,” stated one of the royal guards, a dark red wingtail, “the elders are preparing for rest, and cannot be disturbed.”
“Well I’m going in there whether you like it or not,” stated Glide defiantly, “I have given a lot in the name of the elders, and I won’t be pushed around by you guardian types anymore! If you try and stop me, I can’t guarantee either of your safety.”
Both of the guards were required by wingtail law to attempt to grab him and drive him to the ground to protect their charges, but those said laws had been broken and changed so many times recently it was hard to tell which ones needed to really be enforced. Not only did that play a role, but also the fact that Glide was a nasty opponent, and he had a reputation not only from the Fish Fights but also from his knockout punch just as the sharpteeth attacked. He was not an enemy anyway, so the guards did the right thing and simply let him carry on into the tree. A brush through the leaves, and the black wingtail was inside.
…
“Your scars are healing up really nice mother,” commented a young grey female wingtail, “if dad were still around, he would say you were just as beautiful as ever.”
“If your father was still alive I would stick my fist between his eyes for dying,” remarked Cinceel with a hint of humour, which was unlike her.
The daughter of the venomous elder had followed her mother from the Feral Forest to make sure her wounds weren’t becoming infected, and thanks to the specialized herbs she had learned to use as a healer it was looking like her mom was as cynical and as insensitive as ever. The herbs must be doing their job.
“Why do you keep putting this on me every night dear?” commented Cinceel bitterly as her daughter wrapped a large birthed leaf around the inside of her right wing.
“Because it’s good for you mother… it will make sure you heal up nice and strong.”
“Nice and Strong…. Hah… I haven’t been either of those things in many seasons.”
Running out of healing juice, the daughter turned around to get more from her small carved rock bowls, only to come face to face with an unfamiliar black wingtail.
“Can I… help you?” she asked considerably.
“Yes you can,” answered Glide bitterly, “…get out.”
A flash of fear crossed the daughter’s eyes, and reluctantly she left… hopping up a few branches and making way through the curtain of leaves.
“What’s taking so long dear?” inquired Cinceel over her shoulder, unaware of the intruder in her midst. “I’m tired and I need my rest.”
“That’s not all you need,” commented Glide aggressively, and the elder wingtail jumped around and turned to face him with rage.
“This is my private tree… how dare you barge in here and…”
“And do what?” interrupted Glide, “call you up on all the hell you and yours have put me through? It’s a good thing I’m not here to do that then. Where is my sister? Is she safe?”
Cinceel hissed in anger and flapped her wings threateningly.
“You think you can just come in here and question my judgement? I am the leader of the elder council and I will not tolerate this–”
The elder grey wingtail was stopped from speaking as Glide grabbed her by the throat and jammed her aggressively against the trunk of the tree, pinning her to the bark.
“I will not ask you again…where…IS…MY…SISTER?”
Cinceel struggled, but it was useless… he was too strong and he had her caught in a very undignified position.
“Fine,” the grey wingtail said in a tone of defeat, “just let me go and I’ll tell you where we think he took her.”
“He took her!?!” raged Glide uncontrollably, “you make up and enforce the laws of the wingtails like sharpbeaks, and you just let Eybron take my Star against her will?”
“He…betrayed us…” Cinceel managed, fearing for her life, “went…to… Eye…World.”
Against his anger, the black wingtail let her go, and she collapsed onto the branch. She would have rolled down and fallen to the ground had Glide not reached out at the last second and caught her.
“The bad things you all have done,” repeated Glide as he held onto her arm and her onto his, “I should let you fall for giving that maniac the power to do and kill as he pleased.”
“We’re sorry,” begged Cinceel quite sincerely, “we didn’t know… we wanted to get revenge on the sharpteeth and we knew he knows how to do it...”
Glide raised an eyebrow.
“We?”
Dangling for her life, Cinceel knew this was the biggest pride swallowing moment of her entire existance.
“Alright… I… I… made the mistake of trusting Eybron when I knew he was capable of such bad things, and…I… went along with it when Tenebron arranged to send you and Sky away to make room for his son to mate with your sister.”
Glide snarled with range. Every fibre of his being was telling him to let go, and let the vile elder plummet to her death, but deep down he knew that it would solve nothing. His biggest priority now was to ensure his sister was safe, and killing Cinceel would solve nothing.
“Don’t let her go, Glide.”
Surprised, the black wingtail whirled his head on the spot to turn to face a familiar brown wingtail… his Uncle Sturgeon.
“Sturgeon,” stated Glide with surprise, “Uncie…what are you doing here?”
“I was elected to the council of elders, in the wake of the current vacancies that needed to be filled,” answered Sturgeon with pride and authority, “killing one of our own will not save my niece, my boy… I urge you to make the right choice.”
It was a little bit late, as Glide had already decided to pull her up… but it certainly gave him a reason to doing it without admitting any weakness. Almost effortlessly, the black wingtail pulled up Cinceel, and she collapsed on the branch in exhaustion.
“She said something about ëEye’ and ëWorld’,” remarked Glide, “is that where Eybron has taken her?”
Sturgeon nodded.
“Yes. You must hurry to the Northern Mountains and stop him before he does whatever he is planning to do, and rescue your sister. Me and Fliela will be waiting and hoping for you, Great Glide.”
He knew what he needed to do. Glide felt invigorated by his anger, and looked forward to his final revenge. Silently, the black wingtail vowed not to rest until he stood over Eybron’s bloody corpse and had avenged the great wrongs inflicted against his family.
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Wow a whole week without any reviews or opinions... I guess this chapter must have been pretty blah compared to the last few ones. Admittedly, Chomper's reuniting with the gang did seem like a bit of a formality compared to the real focus of the action I was aiming to write in (like the attack on the Sonicron) but unfortunately even the best parts aren't so great unless posted in order.
Or, maybe its a well recieved sign that it's just not proper to continue writing LBT fanfiction anymore. I'm kinda concerned about how Far Away Home seems to be the only one active at the moment, and maybe its for a reason. Ideas for Blacksun have been circulating around both on paper and in my head, but if nobody really cares anymore then it may be best I don't bother writing it at all. :cry It's a bit of a pity too, Pino had such a strong role in it as well. :angel
Caustizer
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I'm sorry. Like I said on my art thread, lately I've been feeling spread thin and overwhelmed, with a lot of things going on in my life that have made me very distracted and forgetful. I'm also guilty of being a horrible procrastinator. :bang It's been difficult for me to post on the GOF as much as I used to. :oops
Please do not interpret my lack of posting as a lack of interest in your story. I'll post a review of the chapter today. My apologies again for failing to respond sooner.
I don't understand why no one else has posted, though. :confused
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Argh…When will I learn not to make promises? :rolleyes :slap I have started writing the review, but a long, stressful, complicated day containing a higher-than-average amount of family drama has both prevented me from having much time for GOF activity, and left me too worn out to complete the review tonight. So, like every other project I have to work on, I’m afraid this will have to wait another night. :oops Watch this spot, though; a review WILL be posted very soon.
EDIT: Decided to make a new post for the review.
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Wait.... WHAT!? :blink:
Since when did you post a new chapter? How didn't I notice it? :o >__<
I haven't read it yet, but I want you to know that I'm still interested in FAH! :smile
I'm terribly sorry for my stupidity for not noticing your update... :oops
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As usual, I took much longer to finish the job than I think anyoneóincluding myselfówould have liked, :rolleyes but at last, here is my review.
Good news for you: I loved this chapter. :smile So much happened in it: along with a number of reunions, there was a whole lot of exposition on past events, both between characters and for the reader.
I was so happy to finally get to hear Siak’s backstory. I can’t say I expected it to be so tragic. :blink: I didn’t expect to find out that she’d had children either. :! (Hmm…I’d love it if a few of Siak’s descendants appeared in Into Black Sun. I can dream, can’t I? :angel)
I loved finding out what had happened to Chomper and Glide since they met up with Chomper’s parents, as well. It was very interesting to hear about it from the different perspectives of Chomper and Glide, the former enjoying the experience for the most part, the latter finding it nerve-wracking for much of the time. I also liked it that a reasonable part of the chapter was written from Chomper’s parents’ perspective, and described what had happened to them since they left Ruby in charge of Chomper. It’s really refreshing to hear dialogue from non-villainous sharpteeth besides Chomper. (I suppose Thud sort of qualifies too, though; I’m still wondering what happened to him and he’s been up to.)
Attribute it to short-sightedness or forgetfulness if you wish, but I was honestly surprised when it turned out that the sharpteeth the characters were running from were Chomper’s family. I was afraid that perhaps Tyron’s followers had somehow found out about the wingtail-runner alliance, and sent some Stalkers to crush it. There really were a lot of surprises for me in this chapter, another one being that Thylo actually broke up a fight. (I at first thought that she jumped in because she was excited about it. :lol)
Glide doesn’t seem to be one for reunions, does he? :p This is the second time he’s passed on meeting the jungle runners. Also, isn’t this just the fourth time in the story that Glide has interacted with the wingtail elders? (The other times, as I remember, were when they gave him his mission to retrieve the Occular, when he returned to them afterwards having failed, and at the incident at the Sonicron.) Somehow I keep forgetting the timeline of events in the wingtail storyline, and how they fit together. :oops I should probably return to the beginning of the story and re-read the entire thing at some point before the finale, though I have no idea when I’ll have the time to do that. :unsure:
Normally this would be the point where I would share my list of spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors I had spotted while reading the chapter, but first I wanted to ask you something, Caustizer. I hope I don’t sound audacious or anything with this question (and if you disapprove of me posting it here I will gladly delete it), but do you actually use my proofreading comments to make revisions to the story? If you’d prefer speedier responses to newly posted chapters, and the errors I point out never get corrected, then I might as well skip spellchecking the chapters, as this really is the longest and most painstaking part of the reviews I write, and are truthfully a large part of the reason I often fail to post right away. (If I do stop checking for errors in the text, I will still continue to point out any mistakes or problems I see with the story itself, like the one regarding Ruby’s father way back in Part III of Act 2). I did find one fairly significant error in this chapter where Glide referred to Sturgeon as “Uncie”, but in the interest of not delaying this review any longer, that is the only one I will point out for now.
My apologies again for the belatedness of this review. I really enjoyed the chapter (I keep forgetting it’s a half-chapter!), and despite what my slowness to respond might seem to imply, am very excited for the next installment. :yes
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In truth, I only go back and fix the most blatant of spelling mistakes in any particular chapter and on occassion I disagree with the recommended corrections (like changing the places of commas, adding ';' and so on) but if it helps you complete the reviews quicker then by all means forgo the spelling check.
'Uncie' was originally my attempt at creating some recognition between Glide and Sturgeon on a family level, but looking at it now it just sounds stupid. I'll go back and change it for sure.
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'Uncie' was originally my attempt at creating some recognition between Glide and Sturgeon on a family level, but looking at it now it just sounds stupid. I'll go back and change it for sure.
Oh, that wasn't a typo? Sorry. :oops
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Finally, here I go:
First off, my biggest apology for my absolute irresponsible and late respond to this matter... :slap It was stupid of me not to response in such an amount of time (3 weeks), therefore, I'm very sorry. -_-
I loved the reunion of Ruby and Chomper and also the meeting with Chomper's parents.
Phew... I never thought that Siak actually had children. :blink: I wonder what happend to them? It's a very tragic story of what happened to her mate... :(
Siak lost her mate, but it looks like Ruby found hers. :wub
Heh, Glide is quite an agressive person along the end of the chapter. :o
You'll probably already know what I'm going to say: Great chapter as always! :)
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Providing a bit of an update. :angel
I have about a single page done of the next chapter, since I deleted a portion of it I thought wasn't written right (its a good thing I edit these multiple times for quality prior to posting them).
Caustizer
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It's nice to hear you're making progress. :^.^:
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I feel kinda bad about this. I have been so sick these past few days that I haven't been able to work on it at all. Its more than a month since I posted the second part of the chapter, and it looks like I have a ton of catching up to do still in schoolwork that I haven't done.
I'll do my best to have it ready by the end of this weekend (when my schedule calms down a bit) or failing that before my reading week in two weeks.
Caustizer
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Don't worry about it, Caustizer. Take care of your schoolwork first. It'll be a lot easier to concentrate on writing the story once that's out of the way. :yes I'm sure Sky can concur that both him and I have had real-life issues recently that have kept us from attending to our GOF activities (including work relating to Far Away Home); it wouldn't be fair to you for us to have set a date by which we expected the next chapter. Besides, I've told you before: I'll always take a delayed chapter that you've taken your time to write over a rushed chapter posted on time. We can wait for it. :)
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Worked on this again tonight, but ending the Ruby's gang storyline produces such a daunting length... especially when I got 3 assignments and 1 midterm due until reading week starts this Friday. :-/
My current count is at about 1000 words of good material out of about 4000-6000 i estimate it is going to take to do it.
Some inspiration would appreciated, but as always not required :angel
Caustizer
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As Pangaea already said, take your time. :)
I'm sure those schoolworks are much more important now so work on those first. Believe me, nothing is much more painful than being stressed with school stuff (especially stuff you don't like).
Haha, I hope to work on more LBT artwork to keep you inspired! :lol
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Two Months in the making and after countless delays I don't even want to tallk about, here is the final part of te Battle for the Sonicron chapter:
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Part X: The Battle of the Sonicron (B)
Aizon met with the leaders of the Runners and the Wingtails, and Chomper’s parents the next day to discuss the final attack plans. Even though they were nearly big enough to be considered grownups by now, Ruby and the rest of the gang were not allowed to attend. They were all disappointed, but Cera made the biggest show arguing with the senior runner that consigned them to Siak’s care.
Only Chomper was allowed to go, mainly because he had to translate for his mom and dad. This left Ruby, Cera, Gentry, Thylo, and Swiftwalker with nothing else to do but sit around and wait for the young sharptooth to return and hopefully clue them in on what’s going to happen. The eggstealer and the spiketail had little trouble passing the time, engaging in a game of “I See Around Me” and soon Cera had joined in too in her own way. At the same time, the two fastrunners simply talked.
They spoke of dozens of things, ranging from favourite type of fish, to how they got along with their siblings, to strange things that had happened to them over the course of their lives. Ruby recalled her family sending her away to protect her from Redclaw, her first experiences living with leaf-eaters, and how Chomper and she had became such good friends. Swiftwalker listened the whole time, and asked questions with interest. She couldn’t help but feel that everyday the bond between the two of them was growing stronger. Perhaps what Aizon had said was a bit more serious then she had originally thought. Midway through their conversation, Swiftwalker’s father came and abruptly ended the encounter, insisting that it was time for his son to prepare for battle and Ruby had watched him go with a slight sense of longing.
Late morning Siak returned to meet them under a single great tree, and she wasn’t alone. Coming in behind the female spike mouth like a flock of flyers was a collection of young runners of all ages, ranging from a few months after hatching to just behind the gang in age. They were chattering to themselves and fooling around like all kids do and it seemed like it was an effort for Siak just to keep them in line and following her.
“Follow me now… keep up!” she tittered, just like a mother would, before turning her snout towards the half of the gang present, “oh… well hello my young friends!”
“Hi,” responded Cera half-heartedly. By the way she was dragging one of her paws around in the dirt, it was clear the threehorn was bored with the game.
“Yay, friends!” announced Thylo, and she bounded towards the runners she had bonded with over the past many days. They seemed equally glad to see her, and some had even brought new types of food for her to try. As the dark green spiketail happily indulged, Gentry got up and stretched.
“Well I’ve had just about enough of all this sitting around then… when are we going someplace else?”
As if on queue Chomper emerged, coming down the path that had long ago been cemented down by the repeated passings of the jungle runners to join his friends. He seemed to be in a good mood, and almost everybody stopped what they were doing to greet him.
“Ah it’s the little sharptooth back again,” commented Gentry, “music to my ears in the face of all this boredom.”
“Hey Chomper,” added Cera happily. Hopefully he could shed some light on exactly what the wingtails and runners were planning, since overall the entire group of them including Siak had been left in the dark.
“Hey Cera,” responded Chomper with a wave, “wow that Aizon flyer is really smart… half the things he talked about I didn’t know how to say!”
“Chomper!” uttered Ruby with glee, “We have been waiting so long I almost forgot what we had been waiting for.”
“Maybe sharptooth friend tell us what you waiting for,” suggested a female jungle runner who happened to be nearby, sticking her nose into the conversation.
“Umm,” began Chomper, as if he wasn’t exactly sure where to start, “Well… he talked mostly while using a stick to draw lines in the sand, and they were kinda strange but my parents seemed to get it when I translated it for them.”
“What did he say?” asked Ruby out of curiosity, which seemed to echo the concerns of everyone else.
“I can’t remember all of it,” replied Chomper, “but I do remember him saying that the wingtails should attack when the runners reach the Sonicron…whatever that is.”
“The glass horn!” interjected Gentry in surprise, “by the Bright Circle that’s what they had me and the little one yelling into there.”
“But what else,” pushed Cera, “…when do we finally get to stomp the sharpteeth?”
The presence of wingtails in the little alliance that was going on had bothered Cera for a while, but over time both her growth of mind and body had changed her thoughts to the point where it now occurred to her that there were bigger fish to catch. All her life she had been running from sharpteeth, and now that these ëbad flyers’ had seen the light and were going to join the fight against them too she was willing to forgive them for past embarrassments…for a couple days at least.
“Oh no no no no!” butted in Siak, “none of you children will be going… I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself if one of you got hurt.”
Cera grumbled in disapproval, but otherwise said nothing. The conversation ended there, with Siak going back to her duties and the others continuing as they were before Chomper had arrived. Silently, Ruby took her best friend away towards the edge of the undergrowth.
“I’m hungry,” commented Chomper, “…Can we go fishing again? That brown one you caught last time was unbelievable.”
Unfortunately Ruby didn’t seem to be in the mood for it, as shown by the concern and worry adorning her face. She had more pressing concerns she wanted to ask him.
“Chomper, what happens to the others if they don’t make it that far?”
“Hmm,” thought the sharptooth out loud, before shrugging, “… they get eaten I guess.”
Ruby gasped, and glanced eagerly towards the path Swiftwalker and his father had gone down sometime before. Something was going to go wrong… she could feel it. The thought of a sharptooth picking his teeth on her new best friend sent a shiver of terror down her spine, and in an instant she made the decision to go after him. Taking off through the bushes she was gone in less then ten seconds.
“Ruby, where are you going? Wait!” called out Chomper, and he dashed after her too.
Cera saw the whole thing, and turned her head around to see if Siak was looking. Sure enough, the Spikemouth was busy wagging finger in discipline at the two runners who had fought earlier. Gentry was beside her too looking on, while Thylo had gone back to playing with the others and didn’t even bother to notice.
“Hah, I’m getting in with this,” the threehorn said daringly and soon she was gone as well.
“Don’t look now,” stated Gentry smugly, “but it looks like half the herd’s gone and run off again.”
“What!?!” called out Siak in surprise, and she turned around to notice the missing dinosaurs, “Drat! ... A hundred times drat!”
“Wouldn’t you know it they went and left me behind as well… some friends they are,” commented Gentry somewhat inappropriately.
Siak turned to the white egg-stealer and gave him a ëdon’t you even think about going after them’ look. Gentry recoiled and stuck up his arms a little bit.
“Oh no, don’t you worry… I have no desire to go and get myself torn to bones by a pack of ravenous sharpteeth thank you.”
In her absence the two young runners had started shouting at each other again, and the incessant yelling could unfortunately be heard by both the Egg-Stealer and the Spike-mouth. Sighing, Siak glanced down the pathway the runner, sharptooth and threehorn had taken towards the battle with a look of worry before returning to her work. Whatever happened, their fate was out of her hands now.
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They had been in the Feral Forest now for almost a season, and Tharon was losing his patience. The massive sharptooth was frustrated by not only by the shortage of food, and the hideous amount of flyer droppings everywhere, and the incessant rebellions of lesser sharpteeth questioning his command, but by the complete lack of instructions from his brother and alpha some dozen horizons away.
He had been told to seize the Feral Forest - just as he had done for the Forgotten Forest a short time ago - and to subjugate the inhabitants, but everywhere he looked there was no meat or prey… just a bunch of screeching wingtails able to carry on with their normal lives above their heads. If things didn’t change soon, he would head back and challenge his brother’s authority himself. If he, Tharon, was the alpha things would be much different.
An unfortunate tree got in Tharon’s way as he prowled around the western edges of the forest near the lake, and in anger he bull rushed it… crushing the poor sapling into oblivion. Not caring at all, the hot tempered sharptooth carried on with his stomping hunt. He passed a few fast-biters picking at some fish bones on the rocky shore left by a few wingtails they had chased off, and they hissed their displeasure at the current situation in disrespect. He growled threateningly in return, and they bowed their heads in submission so as not to provoke their pack leader.
Tharon ached for something to get rid of the boredom and the burning of hunger in his stomach… he needed a fight… yes he wanted a challenge from something big and muscular and deadly. Silently, the massive sharptooth wondered where Tyrus had gotten to.
A booming roar suddenly echoed through the landscape, tearing through the trees and the edge of the lake like the mighty call of the Earth itself. It was backed up by a similar bellow, just as deep and eager for blood. Tharon straightened up immediately, and turned to face the direction the thunderous sounds came from. The pathetic fast-biters immediately turned tail and ran in the opposition direction. A slight grin manifested itself on Tharon’s visage as he faced down the advancing pair of Chomper’s Mom and Dad as they crashed through the undergrowth. Perhaps the Great Circle had answered his wishes after all… he would enjoy putting them both down and consuming their broken bodies. With a deep roar of his own, Tharon charged forward to meet his attackers with glee.
….
The afternoon light of the Great Circle shined through the canopies of the Abyssal Jungle as if the great sky itself had blessed them. A host of jungle runners almost a hundred strong all stalked carefully through the brush, moving as one entity in near absolute silence. Their bodies were covered in mud to obscure their scent, and some had even used the charcoal from Aizon’s fire to draw lines on their faces and bodies to help them blend in to the surroundings. The only sounds to be heard were the rustling of the trees above, and the light breaths of wind that occasionally penetrated the thick vegetation to cool the sweat off their brows… all the fliers here had been warned about the attack by the wingtails, and had either fled or followed along with them to watch. The grim and tense nature of the situation was beating on Swiftwalker’s nerves, as both he and the others around him knew that at some point the sharpteeth would be coming. They had to stick together and obey Aizon’s plan… otherwise if they didn’t make it to the clearing they would be getting no help from the Wingtails.
Swiftwalker’s father, who led the pack comprised of much of his family excluding his mom and his hatchling siblings, motioned harshly with his hand for them to halt. Sternly, he shifted his gaze towards a runner farther up who was giving hand signals. Reading them, he nodded and passed the information onto the others nearby.
“Sharpteeth… two fastbiters, one scytheclaw in woods ahead. Stay silent, stay brave.”
Swiftwalker cringed his feet in the dirt in fear… this was it, they were about to make contact with a bunch of mouths full of vicious teeth. He had never seen a sharptooth before… only heard about them in stories, which certainly didn’t help his nerves at all.
Suddenly his father shot out his arm again for them to halt, and this time it was serious.
“Something below down hill… may be enemy or friend… keep close.”
Swiftwalker looked down to see what it was, and his brothers followed suit. Through the trees down in a small former riverbed a two legged creature dashed hurriedly through the undergrowth. The mud-covered runner squinted to try and get a better view, and caught a clear flash of pink skin. His heart sank… it couldn’t be Ruby could it?
“Swifty!” it called out, “where are you Swifty!”
Swiftwalker gasped. That was the nickname Ruby called him… it was her! His father noticed his reaction, and heard the voice as well.
“Stupid, stupid girl,” he fumed, “… sharpteeth kill her for mistake.”
As if on queue, a terrible scream echoed throughout the woods. Ruby was in trouble! Swiftwalker didn’t hesitate for a moment and blasted down the slope as fast as his legs could carry him. He felt one of his brothers try and stop him and the shouting of his father behind his back but neither stopped him as he barrelled down the hill and onto and over the sandy riverbed to the other side. The bank of the dried out river was too high for him to run up, and with an impressive leap through the air he hit the top and pulled himself up using his hands. Franticly, he began calling out.
“Ruby… Ruby where are you? I look for you!”
He repeated the words, desperately trying to find her before she got hurt. His gut tightened as he realized she was probably already dead… the sharpteeth were vicious and merciless hunters, and would have jumped at the chance to separate her flesh from her bones. As the reality set in, Swiftwalker stopped searching and hung his head. Now it seemed like he would never get the chance to say to her what he really wanted to say…before he had been too embarrassed to admit it but he had waited too long, and now she was gone.
Just as he began to despair, like lightning Ruby dashed out of the woods towards him and – in her fright – barrelled right into him knocking them both over. His lack of scent and camouflaged skin had prevented her from seeing him until the very last second. Lying on his back on the leafy ground, Swiftwalker was the first to recover and get back onto his feet.
“Ruby…” he whispered in amazement, “you… okay.”
“Uggh,” moaned Ruby as she opened her eyes, “…Swifty?”
A terrible group of screeches slashed through the air as the thing Ruby had been running from was revealed to be a pack of sharpteeth. Though Swiftwalker couldn’t see them, his pounding heart and keen survival instincts told him of the danger facing them both.
“Come!” insisted the muddy-blue runner as he grabbed her hand and pulled her up off the ground, “…We Run! Go!”
Ruby didn’t need to be told twice, and with the male runner half pulling her the two of them sprinted as fast as they could through the undergrowth. Like diving flyers, the fast-biters pursuing them blasted through the bush after them. The sharpteeth were Tyron’s Stalkers, and they were hungry. Their training was not just to hunt but also to kill more efficiently then any other sharpteeth in the world. Tyron’s ilk had caught onto the scent of the runners a long way back, and were ready for them in the trees… the mud was no more effective at obscuring them to sharpteeth senses then normal dirt. The Battle of the Sonicron had already started, and these 3 fast-biters were all too happy to break away and chase down some easy meat.
With the entire greater pack drawn to the large group of runners the two sides had one massive standoff, with hisses and growls being tossed between them along with a few rocks from the runner side. All the jungle runners were packed together as one tight ball, and just like the navy Wingtail had told them the sharpteeth were too cowardly to individually strike when they were against a foe so united. If one fast-biter attacked, odds are he would be pummelled to death by kicking feet and rocks… so none of them tried. Slowly and surely the runners were gaining ground, but it was nowhere near fast enough to reach the clearing before daybreak. If anything, they needed a miracle to keep it up.
“We need to make it to the clearing so the Wingtails know we are there,” Ruby instructed desperately.
“I know,” responded Swiftwalker between breaths, “sharpteeth get closer… we go faster!”
The two were moving so fast now the world was passing in a blur, but the element that remained was the snarls of the pursuing fast-biters… and they were getting closer. One of them hissed loudly and Swiftwalker turned quickly to see what they looked like, gasping in horror as he saw the sharpness of their bared teeth and the blood in their eyes. He was so distracted that he didn’t notice a protruding branch and hit it at full speed, taking out his legs from under him. Rolling repeatedly, he landed in a heap farther down.
“Swifty!” Ruby called out, but she was far ahead by now.
Coming to his senses, Swiftwalker stared right into the faces of death themselves. The three sharpteeth salivated with anticipation and began to bicker lightly about who got to make the kill. Thudd was starving and impatient, and waited until the other two were distracted enough to deal the final blow. Backing the whimpering runner into a corner, he opened his mouth and made ready to pounce… only to be hit directly in the face by a flying foot.
Ruby had come back and leapt into the air, clocking Thudd right between the eyes for the second time since their first meeting. The fast-biter staggered back, both in shock and recognition of his attacker. Recovering from the blow he growled at Ruby in displeasure, but strangely halted his hunt. The two runners took the opening and fled with all the speed their tired legs still possessed. Not wasting any time, Thudd’s two pack mates chased them into the woods leaving the fast-biter alone. Sure he was hungry but if there was one important thing he had learned from Chomper it was that it wasn’t okay to have friends for dinner.
…
Tharon dodged and slashed left and right. These two challengers were experienced and had worked together before, and fighting both of them at once was becoming very taxing. Both the male and the female frequently attacked at the same time on opposite sides and although Tharon had the conditioning to fight them off he was covered with gashes and cuts. They charged at him again he found a weakness in the male and ducked under his snapping jaws to hit him with a slicing kick to the throat. Tharon’s opponent roared in pain and backed away, but the female took revenge and steamrolled him over, pushing over his massive frame and shattering a few upper leg and arm bones in the process. The pain was unimaginable, and even with Tharon’s hardiness it was tough to bear without wasting his strength in a roar.
Unable to get up fully, Tharon roared in defiance to his female attacker as he stood on one and a half legs. Her mate had already collapsed, making it finally a one on one fight. The two sharpteeth faced each other down, and Chomper’s Mom glanced back briefly towards her companion with concern before hardening her stance and making ready to finish the fight.
Suddenly the sounds of yet more stomping feet heralded the arrival of back up for Tharon – Tyrus had arrived. The Sharptooth Prince approached the fight with an unreadable expression, calmly surveying the scene and the broken apart forest around them. Not committing to any action, the sharptooth newcomer halted and watched.
“Tyrus!” Tharon shouted, angered by Tyrus’ lack of urgency, “…help me!”
Unamused, the Prince snorted but otherwise did nothing.
“By the blood of your family and the order of your father I demand you help me!”
Tyrus suddenly grinned. It was a smile that indicated a thought had crossed his mind… a single, overruling thought that surfaced like a dead fish in boiling volcanic water. With an icy purpose many seasons in the making Prince Tyrus advanced not on the female challenger, but his own uncle.
“You dare betray me you snivelling little whelp? When you father hears of this he will-”
Tharon was cut off as Tyrus shot forward with unthinkable speed and snapped his jaws around his Uncle’s throat. The mighty sharpteeth struggled with all his remaining strength, but blood loss and suffocation began to take its toll and he fell to the ground... breathing his last death throes.
“Just so you know,” chided the Sharptooth Prince as he licked the blood off his teeth, “…my father is next.”
Tharon moaned, and then fell limp as he died.
Relishing his sudden ascension in the world, Tyrus turned to the female who now stood in front of him. She advanced slowly forward, but unthreateningly. With a glance back at her dying mate, Chomper’s Mom did something her son would never fully understand. In a smooth and brief gesture she and Tyrus touched noses, sealing the pact as she chose her second mate.
Unbeknownst to the two courting sharpteeth, Chomper was present and had watched the whole thing from a nearby bluff. Thinking of his now dead father, a single tear ran down his face… but no more. It was not in sharptooth nature to mourn the dead, and while it had actually happened that he had lost a loved one he felt strangely ungrieved. Maybe it was that he had hardly known his father that much… or even more likely maturity had begun to settle in and bring change in his young sharptooth mind. Either way big change was about to come for him… whether he knew it or not.
…
Ruby and Swiftwalker made the clearing in full haste, bursting through the bushes on the edge of Sonicron Hill like speeding bullets. The sharpteeth were still in pursuit, but a ways behind. The first thing that caught Ruby immediately on arrival was the horrible ringing emerging from the Sonicron as she laid eyes on it for the second time. Memories of the horrible evens that happened here still lingered, and fleetingly she imagined rows of wingtails – all starting down on her with dark glares of hatred – and it was almost too much. The words of Eybron seemed burned in her brain, like the words of Death itself speaking:
“You will not speak unless I tell you to… you will not move unless I tell you to. If you try to escape you will not only die but you will suffer… am I clear?”
She had never been more afraid then, more hurt. It was strange to think that now so many days later here she was working with the wingtails to save everyone from the sharpteeth.
“Some of them lost brothers and sisters to your kind – and others, lost their hatchlings as well.”
Ruby shut her eyes in terror… the Sonicron, the ringing, the wind… it was all too loud.
“SCREAM! SCREAM or you DIE!”
This time Ruby screamed again. The sharpteeth had backed them into a corner against the glass horn… there was no way out. The wingtails had clearly betrayed them… there was not one anywhere to be seen… the plans, the attack, Aizon, all of it had been a lie… a plot to get the jungle runners and the sharpteeth to destroy each other. And worst of all… she had played a big part in it. Swiftwalker was with her, standing beside her… it was only the two of them left now.
“ATTACK!!!” Screeched Theanol from trees.
The green wingtail elder was joined by dozens of wingtails in one massive battle cry that silenced all else save for the Sonicron. The ancient volcanic glass horn sucked up the noise and amplified it, filling the entire forest with the thunderous call. All through the forest Wingtails and other flyers burst from the trees and joined the fight.
Caught by complete surprise the pack of Sharpteeth that had made a ravenous semi-circle around the advancing runners scattered the moment the swarm of wingtails fell upon them. Utter chaos reigned as runner and wingtail kicked, bit, and scratched any piece of a sharptooth they could get within range. Soon, it became apparent that there were no more sharpteeth left to fight… all the fast-biters had fled with their tails between their legs out of the forest, leaving their small numbers of dead behind. Aizon’s plan had worked.
Overall the entire Battle had lasted just over an hour, with victory won in short order with almost no casualties. The runners and wingtails had such a superior force both in numbers and in tactics it was almost no contest – the Feral Forest was free.
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Ruby awoke from the terrible nightmare just as night had begun to fall over the landscape. It was a bit of a chilly breeze, but strangely she was quite warm. Turning over she soon saw the reason for this – Swiftwalker was sleeping right next to her and his warmth was what she found so comforting. Shifting slightly and rising from the ground, the fastrunner stretched and looked around, making sure she wasn’t dead or just dreaming this. The Sonicron was almost right behind them, and its call was nothing more then a dull roar even this close. There was no wind, and seeing it like this with no scary wingtails or harsh earthquakes for the first time she saw it for the beautiful creation it really was. Whoever made it must have been amazing.
“So you’re finally up,” commented a voice from behind her, “it’s about time.”
Ruby turned on her feet to see Cera staring back at her. The threehorn looked smug and happy, like she had some great news to share. Swiftwalker moaned and stretched, rising to his feet in the background.
“What is it Cera?” questioned Ruby, noticing it.
“I guess I’m the first one to tell you guys this,” went on Cera, “…but we won. I didn’t get there fast enough to get a piece of any sharpteeth I’ll say that much.”
“Sharpteeth all…gone?” asked Swiftwalker in disbelief.
“Yep,” replied Cera, “every single one of them… you should come down to the shore, all the wingtails and runners are celebrating and it’s quite the blast.”
“We won! Can you believe it, we did it… we got away!” declared Ruby as she hugged Swiftwalker.
The jungle runner was still half asleep at a bit startled at the sudden burst of affection, but after a moment he had wrapped his arms around her too and they embraced real close.
“Bah,” snorted Cera, “unless you lovebirds are happier up here ëalone’.”
“That would be really nice…” commented Ruby dreamily.
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Wow. :o So is that it? The end of the Ruby storyline? That was over faster than I expected, but it was great! :smile (You’ll have to excuse the lateness and possible awkward wording of this review; I had a very hard time putting my thoughts into words for some reason. :wacko)
“Sharpteeth… two fastbiters, one scytheclaw in woods ahead. Stay silent, stay brave.”
What kind of dinosaur is a scytheclaw? Are you thinking of Therizinosaurus? It was a herbivore, just so you know.
That was another interesting insight into sharptooth “culture” in the scene with Chomper’s mother and Tyrus. So Tyrus is basically Chomper’s stepfather now. Wow. I never saw that coming. :blink: I’m guessing, however, that Chomper won’t be able to stay with his mother anymore now; assuming the sharpteeth in your story are anything like lions, crocodiles, and a lot of other carnivores: they won’t tolerate unrelated youngsters living around them, and will either drive them away or kill them at the first opportunity. Poor Chomper. :(
Thud kind of came out of nowhere in this chapter. So he’s a Stalker now? Yikes. (Hopefully he’s a more efficient hunter now than he was in the TV series. :p) I’m expecting that this isn’t the last we’ll see of him, though; somehow I feel like his role in the story hasn’t yet been fully played out. Loved the “friends for dinner” reference, by the way. :lol
I think Ruby’s flashback upon seeing the Sonicron, and subsequent fear that Aizon had betrayed them, was a great addition to the chapter. I swear it even gave me a moment of doubt. And it really drove home how traumatic the former incident at the Sonicron was for Ruby.
…all the fast-biters had fled with their tails between their legs out of the forest…
I can’t tell if that was meant to be figurative or not; I don’t think dromaeosaur tails were capable of being tucked beneath the body, and since the tail was crucial for balance, I don’t think a fleeing fast biter would do that even if it could. (Don’t mind this…I’m just thinking out loud.)
The battle scene was much shorter and less detailed than I had expected it would be. Not that that’s a bad thing at all; it was refreshing to see a case of a battle being won quickly and easily due to strategy, rather than a drawn-out fracas with heavy casualties on both sides. It occurs to me that they still have a long way to go if they plan on beating back Tyron’s empire, though.
I have just a few nitpicks for this chapter:
As if on queue Chomper emerged, coming down the path that had long ago been cemented down by the repeated passings of the jungle runners to join his friends.
The spelling here should be “cue”, referring to a signal. A “queue” is a waiting line or a braid of hair.
Swiftwalker cringed his feet in the dirt in fear… this was it, they were about to make contact with a bunch of mouths full of vicious teeth. He had never seen a sharptooth before… only heard about them in stories, which certainly didn’t help his nerves at all.
Hasn’t Swiftwalker met Chomper and his parents? :confused Maybe this should be: “Outside of Chomper’s family, he had never seen a sharptooth before”.
The jungle runner was still half asleep at a bit startled at the sudden burst of affection, but after a moment he had wrapped his arms around her too and they embraced real close.
The first “at” should be “and” and the second should be “by”. My real problem with this sentence, though, is with the words “real close”. It just sounds too…slangy, and I’m sure it’s grammatically incorrect, so it feels awkward in the narrative (and somehow, I think it would sound strange even if you changed it to “really close”). I think “closely” would be a sufficient alternative.
I’m very interested to see how the loose ends in this chapter tie up, not to mention what happens with the rest of the characters. :smile
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Wow. :o So is that it? The end of the Ruby storyline? That was over faster than I expected, but it was great! :smile (You’ll have to excuse the lateness and possible awkward wording of this review; I had a very hard time putting my thoughts into words for some reason. :wacko)
It's not the 'end' end for Ruby's storyline... I just meant that it was the climax of that side of the story. From here on out its more of a conclusion for them, since the great villian of that part of the story has been defeated. Next chapter will be the same thing for Littlefoot and Sky in Burning In The Skies.
“Sharpteeth… two fastbiters, one scytheclaw in woods ahead. Stay silent, stay brave.”
What kind of dinosaur is a scytheclaw? Are you thinking of Therizinosaurus? It was a herbivore, just so you know.[/QUOTE]
It's simply another type of fastbiter... kind of like a sickleclaw. It was for this scene only I decided to differentiate them because the runners are signalling one another.
That was another interesting insight into sharptooth “culture” in the scene with Chomper’s mother and Tyrus. So Tyrus is basically Chomper’s stepfather now. Wow. I never saw that coming. :blink: I’m guessing, however, that Chomper won’t be able to stay with his mother anymore now; assuming the sharpteeth in your story are anything like lions, crocodiles, and a lot of other carnivores: they won’t tolerate unrelated youngsters living around them, and will either drive them away or kill them at the first opportunity. Poor Chomper. :(
We will see. :angel
Thudd kind of came out of nowhere in this chapter. So he’s a Stalker now? Yikes. (Hopefully he’s a more efficient hunter now than he was in the TV series. :p) I’m expecting that this isn’t the last we’ll see of him, though; somehow I feel like his role in the story hasn’t yet been fully played out. Loved the “friends for dinner” reference, by the way. :lol
Thudd has been with Tyron since he started in the story (I thought I implied this pretty heavily in Act II, but i guess it wasn't heavy enough). The story was that Tyron's Stalkers assimilated his pack, so the only way for him to stay alive was to serve.
I can’t tell if that was meant to be figurative or not; I don’t think dromaeosaur tails were capable of being tucked beneath the body, and since the tail was crucial for balance, I don’t think a fleeing fast biter would do that even if it could. (Don’t mind this…I’m just thinking out loud.)
It's not literal... of course they can't run with their tails between their legs :lol
The spelling here should be “cue”, referring to a signal. A “queue” is a waiting line or a braid of hair.
Swiftwalker cringed his feet in the dirt in fear… this was it, they were about to make contact with a bunch of mouths full of vicious teeth. He had never seen a sharptooth before… only heard about them in stories, which certainly didn’t help his nerves at all.
Hasn’t Swiftwalker met Chomper and his parents? :confused Maybe this should be: “Outside of Chomper’s family, he had never seen a sharptooth before”.[/QUOTE]
This is my mistake. I'll change it.
Caustizer.
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It makes me even more excited for the next installment after reading this! :smile
Oh wow... I feel so sorry for Chomper right now. :cry Losing his real father and get a 'new' father who killed his real father :( (such a stupid wording, I know :p)
Hmm... I think this part is focused more to Ruby and Swiftwalker's relationship, rather than the battle for the sonicron itself. But it was awesome nevertheless and it was good to see Thud again. :D
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Oh wow... I feel so sorry for Chomper right now. :cry Losing his real father and get a 'new' father who killed his real father :( (such a stupid wording, I know :p)
No, it was Tharon who killed Chomper's dad. Tyrus, his new “dad”, finished off Tharon, but never attacked either of Chomper's parents. (I don't think he's even met Chomper yet. :blink:)
Although I've praised the villains and antiheroes of this story many times before, one thing I haven't mentioned is how much I like the complex and often fluctuating status of many of the antagonists. Glide started out with the intent of murdering Sky; later he worked for Eybron; was imprisoned by Eybron; escaped with a group of Sky's friends and became their guardian; now he's setting off to kill Eybron. Tyrus attacked Sky and the gang, plans to betray his father, secretly gave information to Eybron, killed his uncle (Tharon), and is now the new mate of the mother of one of Sky's friends. And Thud…well, I'm not sure where to start. Basically, this is one of the most tangled networks of friends and enemies I've ever seen in a story, and I love it! :smile
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Basically, this is one of the most tangled networks of friends and enemies I've ever seen in a story, and I love it! :smile
Then I guess we will see who turns out to be evil in the end... and who turns out to be good! :angel
Thanks for your timely reviews!
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No, it was Tharon who killed Chomper's dad. Tyrus, his new “dad”, finished off Tharon, but never attacked either of Chomper's parents.
Aah! Stupid me. :oops Got a little confused back there... :p
Then I guess we will see who turns out to be evil in the end... and who turns out to be good! dino_angel.gif
Now you make me even more excited! :wow :^.^:
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I've begun working on the next chapter... Sky and Littlefoot's Climax -Burning in the Skies. It looks like it could be another one of those super long two-part chapters like the last two, but if it is I'll let you guys know.
This particular chapter is one that I have been looking forward to for a very long time, and have been planning since the beginning. When you envision a story you should know the beginning and the end and fill the rest in as you go... and now that the filler is pretty much done I'm eager to see what you guys think of what I've done over the past few years. :angel
Caustizer
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Wow. This might get even more epic than before. Looking forward to it!
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Really looking forward to it. This has to be one of the best stories I've ever read.
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The chips are almost down. There are two chapters left in the story in addition to the epilogue (Burning in the Skies and Sky's Trial respectively) and I'm running into exams and just so busy lately, so they are proving difficult to complete.
I've written up and editted the leading lines into the next chapter (ie one of the first sections) and I feel it is all ready for inclusion, so despite my hard convictions to delivering as complete a chapter as I can each time I post I'm going to put it up anyway.
I'm sure you will all appreciate it.
Causitzer.
Part XI: Burning in the Skies (A)
The sky burned as the morning great circle began to rise above the horizon. Rain was in the air, and in the distance it showed in the great arches of red light that adorned the farthest reaches of sight like a running line of blood. Yet there was also a strange stillness, like the day itself was holding its breath for what was to come. There was not so much as a peep in the air, as all the flyers had left… all except for Eybron’s Wingtails which had taken pleasure in chasing them off.
In the elevated clearing where the Eye of the World lay, a white wingtail sat alone like a solitary sentinel. Eybron was busy watching the Great Circle rise, and like a ravenous sharptooth he was eager to be bathed in it’s rays so that his vengeance upon the Valley that slighted him would be complete. First however, there was a more important matter to be dealt with.
Star was being held face-down on the ground nearby, flanked by two different wingtails who were notably less kind in their treatment of the returning captive. Her previous guard had failed in his duty to keep her here and in his clutches, so naturally he had been punished accordingly. He had only beaten Edwin until he tired of the exertion, but unfortunately it was remarkably close to the time the green wingtail had stopped breathing. It was such a waste, having to kill one of his own kin in such a fashion… but this was war and there were no excuses for breaking ranks in Eybron’s eyes.
After about five minutes or so Barrau finally arrived, landing a safe distance away and approaching on foot. With how events had been unfolding recently, he was clearly somewhat afraid of being too close to he white wingtail he called master.
“You’re late,” remarked Eybron coldly, a look of stern impatience on his face.
“I apologize my lord,” breathed the brown wingtail, “but I had to make sure the valley land walkers were for sure not going to be uniting against us…”
“…And?” pushed the white wingtail insensitively.
“They are not convinced of Sky’s intentions… it appears they will not be bothering us.”
Eybron snarled softly at the mention of the blue wingtail, prompting Barrau to take a step backwards.
“Good,” replied the white wingtail, “they wallow in ignorance like a water swimmer plucked from the sea… all the better for my little show this morning.”
“Pardon,” interrupted Barrau timidly, “…but you are planning a show?”
“Of course,” confirmed Eybron with a slight grin, “We’ll all get to laugh as their little paradise burns to ashes around them. All too fitting an end for such brainless beasts for meddling in our affairs.”
Barrau looked really uncomfortable at the prospect. These leaf eaters had nothing to do with the sharpteeth that attacked the Feral Forest… why did they need to be destroyed?
“…But first,” continued Eybron as he turned to face his female captor, “I believe there is one unappreciative of my company that needs to be addressed. Pick her up… bring her to me.”
The two guards obeyed, and lifted Star off the ground. Eybron jumped into the air and glided down to stand right in front of the scarlet wingtail. She looked up to face him, and there was a glint of pure hate in those eyes reminiscent of her black brother’s. Adding in the dirt, cuts, and dried blood in some places, Eybron could clearly see the family resemblance.
“I don’t know what I am to do with you my dear,” commented the white wingtail, “your wings are like a soft morning breeze and your eyes are like pools of cool water… yet at the same time your mind is full of revulsion of me and obsession with your former lover… choices, choices.”
Star didn’t answer, but what she wanted to say was pretty clear in her facial expression. Eybron continued.
“I think I can see it now… there was never any chance for us was there? I was the persistent fool who has chased you to the ends of the world and brought you back each time, and yet through your lies and deceit you have taught me a valuable lesson…”
“Stuff it!” Star shouted, “I don’t want to hear anymore from you villain.”
Eybron hissed and rammed his hand to her face, grabbing it her flesh and causing scarlet wingtail to screech in pain. He pushed his grip, forcing her to shut her mouth and struggle just to breathe.
“There is no death that you can die that could make up for what you have put me through! I could starve you, beat you, or have my way with you as I please, but none of that can make up for the agony of how you broke me heart!”
The white wingtail softened his grip slightly, and he rubbed her face with a small measure of affection as she caught her breath.
“You see… I have no one,” continued Eybron with a touch of pity, “our mother left us, my sister was killed before she even hatched, and my father rejected me as a one would old droppings, and the cursed flyers who raised me cast me out when I grew twice their size…”
Eybron let her go.
“There is no more space left in me for remorse – or pity – because you took it from me! All that is left now for me is my vengeance, and I know just where to start. These land walkers will be the first to suffer as incinerate their home, and then you and I will have a little session with the Eye, during which suffice to say it’s going to be a hot experience.”
Star dawned a look of fright. He was going to burn her alive!
“Just wait until Sky gets here with all the others…you might get me but you’ll never get away with this murder and savagery!”
Eybron smiled smugly, like there was something awful and twisted in his mind he was eager to share. She didn’t want to know what it was.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” the white wingtail stated, before leaning forward and whispering in her ear, “…after I’m done with you, the Feral Forest will go up in flames as well… any wingtail who won’t join me deserves nothing less.”
Star hissed with anger, and spat right in Eybron’s face. The white wingtail wasn’t going to take any of that, and he backhanded her hard sending the scarlet wingtail tumbling to the ground.
“Take those vines and tie her to that rock,” Eybron ordered, “her lover should be by soon to come pick her up, and I intend to ensure he gets to view the ashes before he dies as well.”
The guards present obeyed, but Barrau didn’t look comfortable at all. This wasn’t right… this wasn’t the wingtail way. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but what Lord Eybron was doing here was nothing short of naked murder. Maybe, the brown wingtail thought, he hadn’t chosen his sides wisely.
“The Great Circle has almost risen,” declared Eybron loudly, “and I intend for it to set upon burning skies.”
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This chapter was great, this has to be one of the greatest stories I have ever read! :)
Update soon!
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How dare Eybron do such a thing to Star!? D:
A short, but pretty strong introduction! Makes us want to read more! :D
I feel sorry for Edwin though. :( Poor guy...
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My apologies again for being so late. :bang I feel especially bad considering the chapteróand therefore my reviewóis so short. :oops
I liked your choice of words in describing the sunrise in the very first sentence of the chapter. Was that deliberate foreshadowing? :p
So Edwin ended up being beaten to death rather than killed with the Eye? Ouch. :( Let’s hope that if Barrau ends up defying Eybron (you know the guy’s evil when his own second-in-command thinks he’s going too far), he doesn’t get thwarted so easily.
I’m really hoping that Sky and the gang can stop Eybron in time. And poor Star; I hope she survives.
Eybron was busy watching the Great Circle rise, and like a ravenous sharptooth he was eager to be bathed in it’s rays so that his vengeance upon the Valley that * slighted him would be complete.
“It’s” should be “its” and “Valley” should be lowercase.
*Insert “had”.
“Stuff it!” Star shouted, “I don’t want to hear anymore from you* villain.”
“Anymore” should be two words.
*Insert comma.
Eybron hissed and rammed his hand to her face, grabbing it her flesh and causing * scarlet wingtail to screech in pain.
I’m not entirely sure what you intended to say here, but it’s a little miswritten.
*Insert “the”.
“There is no death that you can die that could make up for what you have put me through! I could starve you, beat you, or have my way with you as I please, but none of that can make up for the agony of how you broke me heart!”
Should be “my”.
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Lately I've been thinking about what I want to do for Blacksun, and how I'm going to develop the 'new gang' in a manner that is fairly recognizable when compared to their parents.
Out of the 'new gang' who do you think Cloud might get along with the best?
I can't start working on Far Away Home again until Wednesday at the earliest (exams >_<) so I hope that nobody is losing faith in my ability to finish it.
Caustizer
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Lately I've been thinking about what I want to do for Blacksun, and how I'm going to develop the 'new gang' in a manner that is fairly recognizable when compared to their parents.
Out of the 'new gang' who do you think Cloud might get along with the best?
Hoo boy…I'm not sure. :unsure: I don't know enough about any of the “new gang”’s (including Cloud's) personalities yet. Since it seems to me that they take after their parents to a considerable extent (though I'm sure you're going to try to give them unique character traits), I'm tempted to say Xavier, based on the chemistry between Sky and Littlefoot. If Cloud is still somewhat prejudiced towards other species, though, then I wonder if he'd be more apt to bond with Landar, or even Nincea, due to feeling a kind of kinship with them. (I'd just as soon not have the roles and relationships within the “new gang” mirror those of the original too much; it would make for a fresher cast.)
That's all I can say for now. Sorry I'm not particularly creative.
I can't start working on Far Away Home again until Wednesday at the earliest (exams >_<) so I hope that nobody is losing faith in my ability to finish it.
Don't worry. I haven't. :)
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Hmm... I think Xavier and Nincea would be a good choice. :)
As for Landar, since he's more like his mother, I can see Cloud and him often argue. Just like Cera and Littlefoot when they were younger. :p
And then there are Aura, Kala and Wayne. They go mostly like their parents, except that Kala can speak, unlike her father. :lol
I hope that nobody is losing faith in my ability to finish it.
Not even a second! ;)
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It's Pretty good maybe you should look at my story called Journey to a New World I think you'll like it after it's done so far Vonboy and I finished 3 chapters and I am working on chapter 4.
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Good news. After about a month long hiatus I have started writing Far Away Home again, and I plan to finish the story this summer (as I said before). Currently it looks like I am half done the full chapter, but as always I might think of something to add in and make it longer :angel
Thanks to everyone that has been following this story and being patient with me on producing the next chapter.
Caustizer
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Here is the full Part XI: Burning in the Skies (A) completed and ready to read.
Once again I had to split the chapter into 2 pieces to accomidate all that I want to, and it may even need to be done for Part XII: Sky's Trial as well.
Hope you enjoy it, since after a month and a few it is a long time coming.
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Part XI: Burning in the Skies (A)
The sky burned as the morning great circle began to rise above the horizon. Rain was in the air, and in the distance it showed in the great arches of red light that adorned the farthest reaches of sight like a running line of blood. Yet there was also a strange stillness, like the day itself was holding its breath for what was to come. There was not so much as a peep in the air, as all the flyers had left… all except for Eybron’s Wingtails which had taken pleasure in chasing them off.
In the elevated clearing where the Eye of the World lay, a white wingtail sat alone like a solitary sentinel. Eybron was busy watching the Great Circle rise, and like a ravenous sharptooth he was eager to be bathed in it’s rays so that his vengeance upon the Valley that slighted him would be complete. First however, there was a more important matter to be dealt with.
Star was being held face-down on the ground nearby, flanked by two different wingtails who were notably less kind in their treatment of the returning captive. Her previous guard had failed in his duty to keep her here and in his clutches, so naturally he had been punished accordingly. He had only beaten Edwin until he tired of the exertion, but unfortunately it was remarkably close to the time the green wingtail had stopped breathing. It was such a waste, having to kill one of his own kin in such a fashion… but this was war and there were no excuses for breaking ranks in Eybron’s eyes.
After about five minutes or so Barrau finally arrived, landing a safe distance away and approaching on foot. With how events had been unfolding recently, he was clearly somewhat afraid of being too close to he white wingtail he called master.
“You’re late,” remarked Eybron coldly, a look of stern impatience on his face.
“I apologize my lord,” breathed the brown wingtail, “but I had to make sure the valley land walkers were for sure not going to be uniting against us…”
“…And?” pushed the white wingtail insensitively.
“They are not convinced of Sky’s intentions… it appears they will not be bothering us.”
Eybron snarled softly at the mention of the blue wingtail, prompting Barrau to take a step backwards.
“Good,” replied the white wingtail, “they wallow in ignorance like a water swimmer plucked from the sea… all the better for my little show this morning.”
“Pardon,” interrupted Barrau timidly, “…but you are planning a show?”
“Of course,” confirmed Eybron with a slight grin, “We’ll all get to laugh as their little paradise burns to ashes around them. All too fitting an end for such brainless beasts for meddling in our affairs.”
Barrau looked really uncomfortable at the prospect. These leaf eaters had nothing to do with the sharpteeth that attacked the Feral Forest… why did they need to be destroyed?
“…But first,” continued Eybron as he turned to face his female captor, “I believe there is one unappreciative of my company that needs to be addressed. Pick her up… bring her to me.”
The two guards obeyed, and lifted Star off the ground. Eybron jumped into the air and glided down to stand right in front of the scarlet wingtail. She looked up to face him, and there was a glint of pure hate in those eyes reminiscent of her black brother’s. Adding in the dirt, cuts, and dried blood in some places, Eybron could clearly see the family resemblance.
“I don’t know what I am to do with you my dear,” commented the white wingtail, “your wings are like a soft morning breeze and your eyes are like pools of cool water… yet at the same time your mind is full of revulsion of me and obsession with your former lover… choices, choices.”
Star didn’t answer, but what she wanted to say was pretty clear in her facial expression. Eybron continued.
“I think I can see it now… there was never any chance for us was there? I was the persistent fool who has chased you to the ends of the world and brought you back each time, and yet through your lies and deceit you have taught me a valuable lesson…”
“Stuff it!” Star shouted, “I don’t want to hear anymore from you villain.”
Eybron hissed and rammed his hand to her face, grabbing it her flesh and causing scarlet wingtail to screech in pain. He pushed his grip, forcing her to shut her mouth and struggle just to breathe.
“There is no death that you can die that could make up for what you have put me through! I could starve you, beat you, or have my way with you as I please, but none of that can make up for the agony of how you broke me heart!”
The white wingtail softened his grip slightly, and he rubbed her face with a small measure of affection as she caught her breath.
“You see… I have no one,” continued Eybron with a touch of pity, “our mother left us, my sister was killed before she even hatched, and my father rejected me as a one would old droppings, and the cursed flyers who raised me cast me out when I grew twice their size…”
Eybron let her go.
“There is no more space left in me for remorse – or pity – because you took it from me! All that is left now for me is my vengeance, and I know just where to start. These land walkers will be the first to suffer as incinerate their home, and then you and I will have a little session with the Eye, during which suffice to say it’s going to be a hot experience.”
Star dawned a look of fright. He was going to burn her alive!
“Just wait until Sky gets here with all the others…you might get me but you’ll never get away with this murder and savagery!”
Eybron smiled smugly, like there was something awful and twisted in his mind he was eager to share. She didn’t want to know what it was.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” the white wingtail stated, before leaning forward and whispering in her ear, “…after I’m done with you, the Feral Forest will go up in flames as well… after all any wingtail who won’t join me deserves nothing less.”
Star hissed with anger, and spat right in Eybron’s face. The white wingtail wasn’t going to take any of that, and he backhanded her hard sending the scarlet wingtail tumbling to the ground.
“Take those vines and tie her to that rock,” Eybron ordered, “her lover should be by soon to come pick her up, and I intend to ensure he gets to view the ashes before he dies as well.”
The guards present obeyed, but Barrau didn’t look comfortable at all. This wasn’t right… this wasn’t the wingtail way. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but what Lord Eybron was doing here was nothing short of naked murder. Maybe, the brown wingtail thought, he hadn’t chosen his sides wisely.
“The Great Circle has almost risen,” declared Eybron loudly, “and I intend for it to set upon burning skies.”
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Ducky was the first one to awaken as the Morning Circle crested the sky in the east, rubbing her eyes and yawning. They had all walked a very long way the previous day, and in fact for almost two full seasons, so she didn’t bother waking her brother or Petrie up. It was better to let them have their rest… they all deserved it. Feeling a need to satisfy her thirst, she walked down to the river for a drink. Sky’s regime of early to rise and early to bed had rubbed off on all of them, and combined with lots of exercise and a good amount of food when they could eat it had made them all amazingly healthy. Ducky couldn’t really remember the last time she had a day to just sit around and do what she liked, so maybe after a quick drink she would…
The reflection in the water staring back at her wasn’t the same one she remembered at all! Quickly looking around Ducky checked to make sure there were no other swimmers near her making it instead, before turning and looking back into the water. The journey had changed her significantly, not just in appearance but size as well. She was now slightly taller then her brother and could no longer ride on his back, but observing the new lines on her face she could see she was starting to look like her mom. It was kind of funny in a way… she though she would never ever grow up to be big like everyone else!
Spike groaned behind her and rolled over, the stubby spikes on his back almost impaling Petrie. The flyer rolled away, suddenly awoken by the spiketail’s sleep movements. Rubbing his eyes, he glanced angrily at Spike.
“Me no like when he do that… get no sleep!”
“It’s okay Petrie,” admitted Ducky with understanding, “he does that to me all the time, he does.”
Petrie had gotten bigger too, but not as much as her or Spike. His wingspan was getting longer and he was becoming more comparable to Sky each day. He was starting to mature mentally too, being not as jumpy as before and flying farther and farther away from the group in an effort to contribute as much as the blue wingtail did.
“I do wonder where Littlefoot is though,” continued the swimmer, “he has been gone a long time… I hope he is okay.”
“Me sure he alright… Littlefoot and Ali take good care of each other.”
Ducky smiled. That was one other thing that she had noticed… Petrie was starting to mature in speech too. Every now and then he would talk properly for a moment, and the swimmer didn’t want to call him on it for fear he would notice and stop doing it.
“Hey… that look like him right now,” Petrie added as he pointed behind her.
Ducky turned around, and sure enough both longnecks were coming up the river. Littlefoot and Ali were silent as they padded along and seemed down in their demeanour. It didn’t take much to notice that something was wrong, and the swimmer hurried towards them to make sure they were both okay.
“Hi Littlefoot,” greeted the swimmer caringly while gauging his response, “you look upset, like there’s something you do want to talk about.”
The longneck raised his head to its full height, which was larger then any of them, and smiled lightly. While Ducky had grown and was now almost taller then Spike, it was Littlefoot that had the most impressive spurt. Ali wasn’t much less either, though she seemed more interested in the changes effecting Littlefoot then anyone else. Ducky guessed that the she-longneck was just like that, though the gap left by Cera leaving was very obviously unfilled in her absence. The swimmer still thought about her and Ruby and Chomper sometimes, and hoped they were alright. Something told her though that with Chomper’s super sniffer and Ruby’s knowledge of living in the mysterious beyond they would be just fine.
“It’s alright Ducky,” answered Littlefoot respectfully, “… its just that Sky isn’t happy at all. Something very bad happened out there with a group of other wingtails, and it sounds like he lost someone important to him.”
Ali scoffed, disguising it as a sneeze. She knew what was going on; that Sky had a girlfriend, and she was surprised at how little detail Littlefoot had gone into in his description of what happened on the hill. He couldn’t be that clueless about love could he? But then again he did begin to confess to her earlier…
“Sky upset?” commented Petrie, “but we important too… are you sure it someone else?”
“Yeah,” admitted Littlefoot, “it might have been a nestling of his, or maybe one of his friends… all I know is that’s the worst I’d ever seen him and I wish I could help.”
“We won’t be waiting very long at all,” interjected Ducky as she pointed towards the sky, “…he is coming!”
Sure enough a blue avian outline was in the air, and in the space of a minute the wingtail had circled around the trees and landed in front of them with grace. True to what Littlefoot had said, Sky didn’t do his customary loop in the air before touchdown.
“Hi Sky!” greeted Ducky, adding emphasis to sound cheerful, “we are glad to see you again. Littlefoot says you are upset so we want to make you happy.”
“Yeah Ducky right,” added Petrie.
“I’m not upset,” replied Sky with a frown and his squeezed his fists, “just confounded by the endless stupidity of adult landwalkers. I have never encountered such a set of races that actually lose their intellect as they get older… its like they have nothing else they want to do but eat and sleep and insist everything is alright when it’s not!”
Littlefoot smiled and nodded at Ducky as Sky finished his rant, and she nodded back. They had had plenty of experience with adults being less than helpful, so it wasn’t entirely surprising that they had ignored the blue wingtail’s claims of danger when they couldn’t see it with their own eyes.
“But what danger is there?” questioned Ducky, “the fiery mountain is very far behind us, and it does not feel or sound like a lot of sky water…”
“Yeah Sky,” added Littlefoot as he turned to face his friend, “why were those wingtails so angry at you, and how can they start fires like you said?”
Sky turned away in shame.
“It’s a… long story.”
Littlefoot took a padded step towards the blue wingtail.
“Well we can’t help you if you don’t tell us.”
“I can’t… I don’t expect any of you to help me in this,” replied Sky, “this is not your fight… it is above and beyond anything I can ask of you. All five of you young dinosaurs have your lives in front of you still yet to live. On the other wing, there are many problems with mine I have been far too long in sorting out.”
Ali snorted with anger.
“We didn’t come all this way just to let you down when some bullies come and push you around. I don’t know who that other female wingtail was, but you obviously cared very much for her and she needs our help.”
Sky sighed.
“Alright, but like I said it is a long story…”
The blue wingtail started with how he and Star met, and how her disapproving brother (“the wingtail that attacked us in the cave”) had fought him both physically and through the elders to have them separated. He continued to explain about his quest and more specifically about the ëEye of the World’ and how he found it and planted vines around it so nobody else would. Sky finished by explaining who Eybron was, and how he not only had Star but he also found the Eye and planned to use it to set fire to the valley.
“I still don’t understand,” commented Littlefoot after his friend was done, “how can something made of this ëglass’ set fire to a whole valley? I thought only skyfire could do that…”
“The specifics are not important,” continued Sky impatiently, “but what is important is that any minute given a moment of clear skies he could ignite an inferno wherever he pleases. Not only that but… he has my Star.”
The blue wingtail dipped his head sadly at the last comment.
“Okay then,” commented Ali hardly as she stomped her foot, “let’s go up there and teach these flyers a lesson.”
“It’s not that simple Ali,” Sky corrected, “they outnumber us four to one. Without the help of this valley’s denizens I’m afraid going after them now will be in vain.”
Littlefoot started sniffing the air, as if he had just identified an unknown and important odour. The others smelt it too, and in a moment so did Sky. It was one they knew all too well.
“Fire, Fire!” cried Petrie in fright.
“Oh no,” uttered Littlefoot.
“It’s begun already,” cried Sky in alarm, “quickly, you must all run!”
None of them moved except Petrie, who bolted off in the opposite direction, and Spike, who had slept through the whole thing.
“Why aren’t you going!?!” questioned Sky in frustration, “didn’t you hear what I just told you?”
“We aren’t running this time,” answered Littlefoot with authority, “we’ve been doing nothing but running ever since we left the Great Valley and I’m sick of it. We are all bigger, stronger and older then we were back then and there may be trouble but this time we can do something about it!”
“Yeah,” added Ali, snorting in emphasis, “that bird-brain and his flock don’t scare us… I say we go up there and stick it to him for real this time.”
Sky didn’t know what to say. He had tried everything in his power to dissuade them, but it was plain to see that the two longnecks weren’t going to listen at all. The group of them had come so far that now it was their responsibility to resolve this together.
“And what do you say young swimmer?” asked the blue wingtail of Ducky, who was busy waking up her brother.
She looked around and saw all the flyers fleeing the curtain of fire just visible in the distance over the tops of the trees. Denizens of the valley were running away to safety, some even carrying their hatchlings that looked barely born. Turning back to Sky she tapped a finger on her mouth.
“This is not our home, it isn’t, but these others are innocent and if what you say is true then we have to do something. Littlefoot is right… I may not feel taller but I know that I am and that this time I can help myself and the others.”
Spike was now up and he half yawned as he rose to his feet.
“…and you Spike?” continued Sky.
The spiketail pushed up against Ducky, and nodded his agreement. Sky grinned at the approval.
“Hey… why you all not run?” blurted Petrie as he circled overhead, “Fire coming… it real close!”
The blue wingtail and the rest of the gang surveyed the advance of the fire, and soon it became clear the area of the valley affected was growing wider by the second. It was a focused, unnatural blaze that burned with bright red fury and a wall of pure heat. Taking note of this, Sky was the first to speak up.
“Very well then,” he uttered with sly defiance. He had a plan.
The wingtail pushed himself into the air and circled once with Petrie, who was almost as big as he was.
“Petrie… go warn the inhabitants of this valley and guide them to safety. Make sure they know what is causing this travesty, and try to convince them to do something about it.”
The flyer looked slightly nervous at being given such an important job, but he was older and braver now and in a wisp of air he was off in the upwind direction of the fire.
“…Littlefoot, Ali, Ducky and Spike, we have a very important and dangerous task ahead of us. Eybron the white wingtail is smart and devious with a flock of wingtails at his command trained by our kind to deal with intruders as seen fit. He is no easy opponent and he has not only set fire to this valley but also kidnapped my love and is doing the circle knows what to her. We must reach the Eye of the World and stop him, and I know just the way…”
Sky swooped onwards towards the area just south of the region ravaged by fire, and the four dinosaurs hurried to catch up with him.
“We have to beat the fire to the mountains and cross around it. It will be simple for me but speed is paramount for you four. May the wind be at your back and the Great Circle shine on your feathers… I mean scales.”
The blue wingtail chuckled with a bit of embarrassment at the last correction.
“I will meet you all on the mountainside and aid you as best I can, but I cannot guarantee we will not be separated. Eybron will likely send his wingtails to hunt me once he finds out we are coming. Farewell!”
Littlefoot watched as the wingtail soared away on the air current as he ran, and he called back to the others.
“Hurry up guys! The hills are just this way… come on!”
The two longnecks, the swimmer, and the spiketail moved as fast as their feet would carry them and pushed through the veil of smoke that was preceding the fire. They all knew from experience how to duck close to the ground wherever possible, and they made good time just a few metres away from the curtain of advancing flames. The question remained though whether it would be enough, and even if they made it if they could possibly defeat the powerful foe that lay before them.
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I haven't read it yet, but I'm just letting you know, that I'll read it tomorrow and leave a comment the day after. It's been 4 days now since the last comment but I assure you that I haven't lost interest in this story. :)
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Alright, so the first part with Eybron was the same last part from the previous chapter. It's good to refresh our memory a bit. :)
Wow, the gang has grown quite a lot. Ducky is now slightly larger than her brother who has grown a bit too and Petrie is almost the same size as Sky. :o
I have to say, the chapter was quite a great read. Not that much of action involved, but I'm sure the next part will be super awesome by the sounds of it! :wow
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I feel so bad for not posting here sooner! :bang
At the moment, my mind is too deep in the proverbial gutter for me to concentrate on writing a review (as has been the case for the last several days), but I promise I'll post one in this spot when I'm feeling less brain-dead.
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I feel so bad for not posting here sooner! :bang
At the moment, my mind is too deep in the proverbial gutter for me to concentrate on writing a review (as has been the case for the last several days), but I promise I'll post one in this spot when I'm feeling less brain-dead.
Maybe you just need a vacation. I get that feeling too when I do the same things over and over and get sick of them.
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^ A vacation does sound nice, but unfortunately it’s neither convenient nor economically feasible for either my family or me on my own to go on a real vacation, and I fear I’m shirking my duties on the GOF too much as it is.
The good news is, I’m feeling clearer-headed now, so I can finally write a review. (It feels like ages since I’ve done this.)
I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed chapters with Sky’s half of the gang (has it really been five months since the last one? :blink:)
They had all walked a very long way the previous day, and in fact for almost two full seasons, so she didn’t bother waking her brother or Petrie up.
Just wondering: does “season” in this sense refer to the passage of a full year, or an individual stage of a year, as in winter, spring, etc.?
I can’t find the original post, but I remember that a while ago I wondered aloud if Benzon had originally been the one to disguise the Eye of the World as a tree, then Sky found it, uncovered it, discovered what it did, and then disguised it again, all by himself. This chapter clears up part of the mysteryóSky did at least set up the vines that covered the Eyeóbut I’m still wondering what Benzon did to keep his creation hidden for so long.
I find it a little annoying that Spike slept through Sky’s whole backstory exposition; I would have thought that the others would have woken him up for it. <_<
Heh, looks like Sky’s finally gotten it through his head that the gang won’t let him fight his battles alone. :p Even though I’m pretty sure the group has had moments like this before (my memory for previous chapters is really, really bad now), I really liked that scene where the gang stood up to Sky when he insisted that they let him handle things himself. I just hope that (#1) they can stop Eybron before the valley is completely destroyed, and (#2) that Petrie is as good at fire escape procedures as Littlefoot was in LBT III.
And now, just a few proofreading comments:
It was kind of funny in a way… she though she would never ever grow up to be big like everyone else!
Should be “thought”.
“It’s okay Petrie,” admitted Ducky with understanding, “he does that to me all the time, he does.”
Did you deliberately have Ducky use a contraction here (to imply that her speech pattern is changing as she matures), or is this a mistake?
While Ducky had grown and was now almost taller then Spike, it was Littlefoot that had the most impressive spurt. Ali wasn’t much less either, though she seemed more interested in the changes effecting Littlefoot then anyone else.
The first highlighted part should be “who had had”. The second I think would be better written out as “Ali wasn’t far behind” or something similar, as the way it is written now doesn’t really make sense. Finally, “effected” should be “affected”. In addition, you described Ducky’s growth spurt and how she was now taller than Spike earlier in the chapter, so it’s a bit repetitive here.
He continued to explain about his quest and more specifically about the ëEye of the World’ and how he * found it and planted vines around it so nobody else would. Sky finished by explaining who Eybron was, and how he not only had Star but he also found the Eye and planned to use it to set fire to the valley.
Maybe it’s just me, but the wording of the highlighted sentence feels a bit funny; it sort of comes off as “he found it and planted vines around it so nobody else would [plant vines around it]” rather than the intended “he found it and planted vines around it so nobody else would [find it]”. Adding a comma immediately after “found it” might help to emphasize that part of the sentence, but other than that I’m not really sure what to suggest.
*Insert “had”. Also, change the highlighted “he” to “had”.
Can’t wait to find out what happens next! (Hopefully I'll have the presence of mind to review right away next time.)
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Just wondering: does “season” in this sense refer to the passage of a full year, or an individual stage of a year, as in winter, spring, etc.?
Dinosaurs in this story (not sure how they do it in the Land Before Time as a whole) mark the passage of time in two seasons as opposed to what humans do with four.
So in this case, it has been just over a year since they left the Great Valley.
“It’s okay Petrie,” admitted Ducky with understanding, “he does that to me all the time, he does.”
Did you deliberately have Ducky use a contraction here (to imply that her speech pattern is changing as she matures), or is this a mistake?
Perhaps :angel
I'll make the required corrections as well.
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Coming in with an update from the Midwestern United States.
I'm currently chasing tornadoes in tornado alley and having a total blast... it seems like things are getting better and better each day with strong storms popping up everywhere. The oppertunity came up for me to extend my stay, so I have taken it which means I will be away from the GOF for another week. Unfortunately this means little to no progress has been made on Far Away Home since I left. :(
Bear with me and be patient, because I do plan to finish the story with summer :angel.
Caustizer
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No worries, Caustizer. I'm happy you're having a wonderful time there. :^.^:
Just have a safe journey okay? :)
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This fanfiction has been nominated by its author to be rated for the fanfiction awards 2011. To all the readers and fans of this fanfiction, please rate and review (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9467) it! :)
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I'm currently chasing tornadoes in tornado alley and having a total blast... it seems like things are getting better and better each day with strong storms popping up everywhere.
Whoa, sounds awesome! :wow Stay safe around those tornadoes, though.
The oppertunity came up for me to extend my stay, so I have taken it which means I will be away from the GOF for another week. Unfortunately this means little to no progress has been made on Far Away Home since I left. :(
Bear with me and be patient, because I do plan to finish the story with summer :angel.
I have no problem with waiting a little longer for the next Far Away Home chapter. Just make sure you're around to vote in the GOF Awards! You'll want to make sure to give your fanfiction a chance! ;)
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Good news.
The next part of the story will be ready by the 14th for pangaea's birthday.
i encourage all readers to review both this story and the other short one i did for sky for the fanfiction award.
caustizer. :angel
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This really does deserve an award, be assured I've been reading every chapter and find this story to be truly excellent. I'm just not a good reviewer is all.
Can't wait for the next part!
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I don't know now if I'll have enough time, but I'll TRY to read this fiction and write a review for it for the Fanfiction Awards. First, I need to finish the three I've started, then I'll read the ones that still don't have a review written for them yet. this fiction already has a review, so it's only fair that the ones that don't have one yet get it first.
I'll tell you one thing, though. I've copied this fiction to my computer now, like I have all the others entered in the awards. Currently, it's 745KB of text! That's second only to Battle of the Sacred Essences 2: Corruption's Curse, which weighs in at 825KB.
So...yeah. This is a friggin long story >.<
Edit: Ah, and we only have three weeks left now until voting closes, too >.<
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Good news.
The next part of the story will be ready by the 14th for pangaea's birthday.
i encourage all readers to review both this story and the other short one i did for sky for the fanfiction award.
Aww, that's nice of you, Caustizer. :DD
But remember, if you need any extra time to work on the chapter at all, for any reason, please go ahead and take it. :angel
As I type this, my printer is churning out a copy of this fanfiction for me to read on my flight to Las Vegas this afternoon (assuming I don't sleep through it; if I do, I'll have plenty of other reading opportunities). Once I have had an opportunity to "relive" the entire story from the beginning, I will write a review for it to enter in the Fanfiction Awards. I promise I will also get around to reviewing "Far Away Home: Another Day". :yes
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At last here is the second part of Burning In the Skies, the chapter that you all have been waiting patiently to read for more than two months. Thank you all for your support in the Fanfiction Awards and your praises and criticisms of Far Away Home, for I appreciate them all. :smile
The story is now only a single chapter away from completion (not counting the epilogue), and I would like to give a special shout out to Pangaea whom has been with me since the very beginning in August almost three years ago. Thank you Pangaea and have a happy birthday! :celebrate
I will warn you that this chapter is one of the longest I have ever written (almost 6,000 words... yikes! :blink:) so make sure your sitting down and have a drink of some sort.
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Part XI: Burning in the Skies (B)
Petrie flew as fast as his wings could lift him, being careful to keep away from any billowing columns of smoke and flames below. His experiences near the great smoking mountain had proven that it wasn’t a good idea to tempt fate in these cases… best just to stay away so they don’t get angry. The flyer flew low just above the tops of the trees, skirting the leaves and branches looking for the inhabitants of the valley. He didn’t have to look very hard though, as dinosaurs of all shapes and sizes were fleeing the inferno just as they had been earlier. Only a single longneck remained, standing with his neck fully raised examining the width of the blaze. Seeing the lone dinosaur, Petrie made right for him.
“Doc… Doc,” called out Petrie, “fire everywhere, me suppose to tell everyone to run.”
“Taken care of it,” replied Doc without moving his head, “never need to tell a frightened dinosaur to put his tail between his legs.”
Petrie flew circles around him.
“Hah… he wasn’t lying was he?” the massive longneck mused without expression, sweeping his tail from side to side, “I think it’s time we brought this here fire under control by stomping out the source.”
Doc turned his head quickly in a beckoning gesture and yelled out to a passing threehorn and longneck.
“Trips, Bronton… come with me! We have our families to protect.”
Both of them turned and obeyed immediately, which clearly showed how much respect the denizens of the valley had for the lone dinosaur. If it was serious enough for Doc to be yelling, then they would give him aid unconditionally.
“But where you go?” asked Petrie with confusion.
“Right where you take us,” replied Doc with a slight smile, “get us up to where it’s coming from and we’ll take care of the rest.”
The responsibility that the lone dinosaur was giving to Petrie was a large one, as there was fire and thick smoke everywhere in the direction they were going. On top of that as well he had no idea where the Eye of the World might be… Sky had only said it was ëon the crest of a hill to horizon where the sun sets’, which certainly wasn’t enough detail for him to guide a bunch of adults towards it. Not wanting to let them down, the young flyer circled once more in the air as he got his bearings before carrying on towards the west.
“It up here… follow me!” he called out
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The smoky haze from the fire wafted through the boughs and hills of the Lush Valley as the gang of Littlefoot, Ali, Ducky, and Spike pushed on through it and onto their destination. Sky had given them very clear directions to meet at the mountainous uprising to the west where the wingtail had said the Eye was located, but the fire was blocking the view of it and he was nowhere to be seen to correct them. Surmising that they could run around the flames, Littlefoot carefully guided them along the ridge and through a running river as fast as they could run. The wind was in their favour so for the time being it looked like they were going to make it.
“Just a little bit more,” reassured a breathless Littlefoot to the others.
They were all tired, as the gang had been running for a couple of hours almost non-stop. Thankfully the long journey had put them into excellent shape, but even with a heightened stamina the length of the dash mixed in with the poisonous fumes in the air was having an effect on all of them. Eventually, they reached the top of the ridge where they stopped for a brief break.
“It is really hard to breathe,” commented Ducky in between breaths, “…it is.”
Spike, who was fortunately much closer to the ground, had an easier time of it and was taking advantage of the lull to gobble down a nearby bush with berries in it.
“Come on you guys,” pushed Ali impatiently, “the longer we wait the more of the valley that evil wingtail will burn! When my herd and I were travelling far away from the Great Valley, we saw an entire forest burned away in no time at all…”
At her mention of past travels Littlefoot’s curiosity was pricked. When they had enough time, he could ask her all about it.
“Ali’s right that’s long enough,” added the young longneck, “we have to keep going.”
Hearing the slight noise of flapping wings in the air, Ducky looked up and suddenly cried out in alarm.
“Hide! Wingtails, they are coming!”
They all knew what she meant. It was Eybron’s flock of almost thirty, flying in perfect formation down the mountainside. Apart from their wings, they were almost completely silent. Wasting no time, Littlefoot followed his instincts and ducked behind a rock with Ducky settling behind him. Spike jerked his head up from feeding and noticed their peril, lying down and covering his head. Reluctantly, Ali joined the other two behind the rock face.
Surprisingly the wingtails flew right over and past them as if the two longnecks, the swimmer and the spiketail didn’t exist. Not wanting to try their luck, the group remained in hiding until the large flyers were nothing but specks in the sky.
“Where are they going so fast?” commented Ali with indignity.
“I don’t know,” replied Littlefoot with worry, “but I hope Sky is okay…”
If the white wingtail had sent his entire wing after something, it certainly couldn’t be a good sign for their blue friend… unless he wasn’t their target.
“If all the wingtails are down there,” commented Ducky as she put a finger to her mouth, “…then who is up here?”
“Nobody but him,” surged Littlefoot as the impact of her statement sunk in, “we actually have a chance now… come on, let’s go!”
The longneck pushed up the slope as hard as he could, and Ali was quick to follow. Not wanting to be left behind, Ducky and eventually Spike followed them as fast as they could. The fate of both the valley and their friend was on the line, so every little bit counted. Now that Eybron was alone, with Sky’s help they could take him on and stop the inferno.
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The landscape was bathed in fire from horizon to horizon. Smoke billowed into the air like a giant sheet of blackened fog, blocking all vision to the other side and removing any chance of Eybron watching the inhabitants of the Lush Valley suffer from his just retribution. The white wingtail went about his work like a silent, brooding maniac, flapping his wings on occasion to turn the Eye of the World towards a brand new destination for his wraith. Moments went by, and then another tree or bunch of shrubs in the distance would burst into flame and join the rumbling cascade of the burning performance.
A few of Eybron’s wingtails hung around up in the trees nearby, watching the awe inspiring spectacle with expressionless faces. They had seen fire before, during the eruption of the Black Mountain and in years prior, so this was nothing new to them. All that was important was that under that blanket of fire there were enemies of their lord and their race. One of them wasn’t so sure though, and swiftly he entered the clearing at the hilltop of the Eye of the World making a clean landing right next to the glass structure. The brown wingtail made a quick glance towards Star, who was laying with her eyes closed and pinned to a rock by constricting vines.
Barrau held back his unease and turned toward his master who was busy in his work.
“My lord,” the brown wingtail said, “a serious problem has come up that needs your attention immediately.”
Eybron growled in annoyance, flapping his wings and sliding the Eye around in a clean arc. A number of wingtails screeched in fear and bolted to the air as the giant magnifying iris pointed in the direction of the trees they were roosting in. Luckily it wasn’t aimed anywhere long enough to cause serious damage.
“…This had better be a big problem Barrau. I don’t like it when others interrupt my work.”
The white wingtail narrowed his eyes, showing the distain he had of his underlings. If any of them ceased to be useful, he could always remove them anyway. Nearby, a rock started to sizzle where the Eye was pointed it at. Eybron seemed completely oblivious to the danger it represented… Barrau noted he could just as easily burn them all where they stood if he wasn’t careful.
“The inhabitants of the valley are resisting my Lord Eybron… a group of them is being led here as we speak. Longnecks, Threehorns… our scout didn’t see how many.”
“WHAT!?!” boomed Eybron in rage, causing some of his feathers to stand on end, “Who is responsible for this?”
The white wingtail constricted his feet, causing the glass he was sitting on to whine. After a moment of thought realization sparked on his face.
“Nevermind… I already know who it is.”
Eybron turned his head and looked down towards the burning valley many kilometres below, a villainous smile forming on his face. Sky was coming back to get his lover… how sweet. For such a young flyer the blue wingtail had done things that had even impressed Eybron on some occasions. Learning all that everyone could teach him, becoming one of Aizon’s Elite Creators, and even becoming a teacher himself were all considerable accomplishments that had made the white wingtail think highly of him at one time. Sky had committed one terrible crime however that dwarfed all else… he had courted the female he too desired mere days before Eybron was to present himself to her.
...
It was a bitter memory, and one that the white wingtail was loathe to forget. Returning successfully from the unspeakable quest his father had given him to gain acceptance into wingtail society (the official reason was that he had been raised by outsiders, but the real reason was that his father was so disgraced by his mere existence – for it proved his incompetence as a dad – that Tenebron wanted to get rid of him honourably before everyone found out) he was on his way towards his new home at the Sonicron when suddenly there was a commotion in the water.
“Glide stop it! STOP it you’re HURTING HIM!”
Eybron looked down, and below there was a startling fight going on. Two wingtails, a black one and a blue one, were striking at one another viciously in the shallow water near the shore of the Abyss Lake. The black one had quickly taken the upper hand, and he pushed the blue one down into the water, hissing and spitting as he punched and kicked. There were feathers of both colours everywhere in the water.
“STOP IT! … Please Glide please stop!” called out a female wingtail from one of the trees above. Her feathers were an impressive shade of scarlet.
Without thinking Eybron descended, crashing into the water right next to where Glide had pinned Sky. The blue wingtail was gasping, trying to breathe as the wind had been knocked out of him. Before the white wingtail had righted himself, the black wingtail had turned on him.
“This is none of your business,” hissed Glide, before throwing a surprise jab towards the head of the newcomer.
Exercising his outstanding reflexes, Eybron lashed out his arm and caught Glide’s fist mid-punch. Mildly surprised, the black wingtail glared at him with hate. The white wingtail returned the expression, and after a moment Glide backed off and looked away. It was like staring into the eyes of a sharptooth.
Sobbing, Star had fluttered down and landed at Sky’s side. She picked him up out of the water, and made sure he could still draw breath.
“How could you do this to me?” fumed Glide as he turned on his sister, “after all the seasons I’ve protected you I come here and find you courting this… weakling behind my back.”
“It isn’t like that Glide,” cried Star through her tears, “he didn’t deserve this…”
Eybron didn’t remember the specifics of the argument, not that he really cared. He was too busy admiring the beautiful creature before him. Her eyes, her tears were so sincere and so pure. The white wingtail admired her heart, and at that moment knew what he wanted more then anything else in the world… her.
...
It had been a long and bitter flight since then. His father Tenebron was prepared to do almost anything to make amends to his only child, and the white wingtail would have given nothing of it but for a single demand – he wanted Star free of Sky’s grasp. The Council of Elders played along with the ruling of their leader, and soon that blue pest was gone for good. As a nice bonus, they also gave him a death sentence. It was the perfect situation for their happiness… but fate had other plans.
Eybron snorted bitterly as he turned towards where Star was now, pretending to be asleep on the nearby rock. She was a mature, adult wingtail now and no less beautiful then she was then. He wished she could have put the past behind her and forgotten about Sky, but no matter what he tried it just didn’t work. Her death would not only free her of an obsessive love, but it would also free him.
“My Lord,” began Barrau again, “… what are you orders?”
Eybron found the brown wingtail’s voice to be annoying. He urged to rip it out, so that he could be a silent servant… but that would have to come later.
“Stop them from advancing up the hill,” the white wingtail said after a time, “take everyone with you… all the wingtails under my command.”
The thirty wingtails present all took to the air as one, circling above and waiting for their master to finish.
“But what are we to do?” uttered Barrau with a notable lack of confidence, “they are too large for us to fight directly.”
Eybron growled in annoyance.
“I don’t care what you do… gash at their eyes, batter them with your wings, vent your waste on them… whatever it takes to stop them from getting to the Eye.”
“As you wish, Lord Eybron,” answered Barrau, before he took to the air.
Soon all the wingtails were gone, save for Eybron and Star who had opened her eyes to a grisly situation.
“And now to you my sweet heart,” taunted the white wingtail, “… I find pain to sometimes be a refreshing experience.”
Eybron jumped up onto the Eye of the World, and the unblemished glass clinked a few times as his foot nails tapped on it.
“Since it will be the last one you ever feel,” commented the wingtail as he flapped his wings to turn the iris, “… you had best enjoy it.”
The Eye lined up with her body. The heat was so intense, so painful Star felt like she was going to die. The scarlet wingtail started screeching at the top of her lungs. The sound was deafening and could be heard throughout the forest. If help didn’t come soon, it would be her death throes.
After what seemed like an eternity the heat ceased as the beam was cut off. Star panted desperately as she caught her breath. Looking up she could see her distant saviour. A cloud was passing over the Bright Circle, a small puffy mass that simply carried on its own course uncaring about the events below.
ëCloud’, she thought through the pain, ëwhat a lovely name,’
Up above Eybron snarled with hate. To think that the weather would be the one to deny him his revenge. Leaping off the Eye, he flapped his wings vigorously a few times and landed directly on the rock… his feet touching the sides of her legs. He leaned over her, smiling menacingly, eyeing her trapped form with desire.
“I think I have a much better idea…”
Star started screeching again, but her calls were drowned out as he brought his lips onto her own. He kissed her enthusiastically as she tried to push him off, but there was nothing she could do. He was going to mate with her.
An answering wingtail call came from above the trees. It was a long, echoing utterance that belonged to one she knew and loved.
Sky was here.
Eybron didn’t have time to turn before a hissing, enraged wingtail dove right into him and sent him sprawling onto the ground. White and blue feathers scattered everywhere, and Sky didn’t give his foe a single moment before he dropped towards him with his foot claws. The white wingtail rolled over, dodging the blow with surprisingly dexterity.
Sky spread his wings again and powered backwards, narrowly escaping a sidewinder blow to the face. Eybron hissed at him with low hatred. The blue wingtail drove upwards and into the air, disengaging to begin a fight in the skies. The white wingtail followed, and soon the two bitter enemies were circling around each other in the air.
“You came back,” taunted Eybron, controlling his anger “…your courage is surprising for one so small and weak.”
“Stronger then you monster,” shouted Sky in answer, “at least I don’t hide behind my servants instead of fighting one on one.”
“Hah… you really want to do this don’t you?” questioned Eybron as he rolled over once in the air, “very well, we will go by the Fish Fight rules. There is a notable exception however… this time the loser gets to die.”
The white wingtail practically spat the last line, so thick was his resentment. The two wingtails gave each other significant birth as they circled, but the ring began to tighten as each one was just as eager to tear apart the other.
Recovering from her near burning to death, Star pulled at the vines binding her with all her strength. Giving up momentarily, she shouted to her mate above.
“You have to beat him Sky… our future and the future of our child is counting on it!”
Sky glanced down momentarily in surprise at Star. She smiled and nodded back. The blue wingtail felt his heart jump a little – he was actually going to be a father!
Eybron hissed in rage, and charged at Sky like a speeding bullet. The blue wingtail tried to dodge, but they partially connected. The impact jarred him, and sent him spinning through the air. After a few jagged turns he righted himself again.
“It’s over for you Sky,” shouted the white wingtail, “if I can’t have her, then nobody will!”
They connected once again, slashing at each other vigorously like airborne sharpteeth. Sky took a claw to the side of his face, returning the favour with a wing attack across Eybron’s flank. Fighting dirty, the villain snagged Sky’s tail and yanked him backwards, pummelling him towards the ground.
Sky’s world was starting to blur a bit from both exhaustion and pain, but he couldn’t give up! He had to do this for everyone and everything he had ever known. Eybron had taken almost all that he had… his love, his dignity, his home, and now the white wingtail sought to end his life.
The blue wingtail could hear a rush of air coming down from above. Spinning over he got around just in time to see Eybron charging headlong towards him. This was impossible! How could he be so fast? Sky barely had time to flap his wings before the villain’s feet connected with him again, knocking the wind out of his lungs.
The next thing he remembered was the horrendous impact of hitting the ground. Most wingtails have crashed into something once or more in their lives, but nothing compared to this. Fortunately the soil was overgrown and soft… but that didn’t help much as Sky choked and gasped for his life as he lay on his back.
Eybron landed right next to the blue wingtail casually, watching him suffer noisily with his injuries. It was quite pathetic really… the winner of their duel had been chosen by nature almost before it had begun, so the rest was just filler. He was going to enjoy this a lot, making up for supreme insult he had just suffered. Star and Sky breeding a child behind his back? She would pay for that dearly.
“You know it was never anything personal Sky,” taunted Eybron as he stood over the half-conscious blue wingtail, “you just… got in the way.”
The villain reached forward and grabbed Sky by the scruff of his neck, hoisting the smaller wingtail into the air. Killing his enemy now would be quite easy… too easy in fact… so Eybron decided to shine him on a little.
“A nice view isn’t it?” he commented dishearteningly.
The fires of the Lush Valley had started to burn out in the absence of more ignition, and now that the smokescreen had begun to clear almost the entire world was visible. Sprawling deserts, lush jungles, and even the mountainous terrain at the edge of the Great Valley could be seen. The cloud cover that had blanketed most of their duel was subsiding, and rays of sunlight advanced rapidly across the land towards them.
“…it’s too bad it’s the last thing you will ever see.”
Eybron squeezed Sky’s neck tightly. The blue wingtail gagged and struggled with all his might, kicking him a few times and dislodging a few more feathers but the white wingtail barely noticed. Slowly the life began to disappear from Sky’s eyes, and his struggling grew more sluggish.
“Not today vermin!” Star shouted, her voice full of defiance.
Surprised by her sudden vigour, Eybron dropped an unconscious Sky and whirled about. The scarlet wingtail had gotten lose of the poorly tied vines, and had mounted the Eye of the World. Having seen the villain do it all morning, she had flapped her wings and positioned the iris so it pointed directly at the centre of his white feathered chest.
“What!?!” answered Eybron in shock, “how did you-”
The Great Circle’s light returned and it shone with a bright, burning radiance that blinded the white wingtail in a second, forcing him to throw a hand in front of his eyes. And then came the heat… massive amounts of solar energy condensed into a single place made the temperature soar to heights only once before witnessed by another wingtail. Eybron let loose a terrible screech as the ends of his feathers started to singe.
“This is for Sky, my brother, and all the innocents that you murdered!” yelled Star with anger that she seldom spoke with.
Fearing for his life, the white wingtail took to the air. Determined to get his revenge, Eybron hissed with absolute hate and stormed recklessly towards the Eye. Suddenly his feathery coat ignited, bursting into a searing hot flame that covered his entire body.
Losing control the wingtail villain crashed through the focusing iris, shattering its age old volcanic glass and knocking Star from her perch. The Occular popped lose of its moorings and rolled away off into the unknown. With a thud, the two wingtails landed on the dirty ground below.
Eybron was screeching now like no wingtail cry Star had ever heard before. He thrashed around blindly before taking to the air, staying aloft only with the remnants of his ashen wings. Like a noisy, prehistoric phoenix he banked and curved randomly in his spasms of pure pain. Soon he passed far into the distance, and as his wings failed at last the greatest villain in the history of the wingtails fell down to his doom in the forest below.
Star panted deeply as she caught her breath. As the shock of what had just occurred passed, the she wingtail rolled over and onto her feet. She couldn’t believe it… Eybron was dead! They had won! But wait… what about…
“Sky!” she called out in worry.
Hustling across the dirty and in some places overgrown ground the scarlet wingtail came to Sky’s prone form. His eyes were closed, but a quick check of his chest rises showed that her love was in fact breathing. Relieved, Star leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. His expression changed slowly from blank to a pleasurous smile. Slowly, his eyes opened and he lifted his head slightly.
“Are we dead my love?” the blue wingtail asked.
Star giggled a bit.
“Get up and see for yourself,” she suggested with a smile.
Giving him a helping hand, Star pulled up Sky onto his feet. The wingtail gasped in pain as the various injuries he had suffered registered in his brain. Absolutely everything hurt… which was good. That means that against all odds, the two of them had survived.
“Yes,” coughed Sky as he clutched his chest, “that certainly proves it.”
With a warm, passionate expression Star licked the side of his face. Suddenly, nothing hurt anymore. Without a hint of hesitation Sky returned the gesture, and soon they were kissing repeatedly with a passion that could have carried them anywhere. There was no telling how much time had passed, only that it passed in her arms. Their embrace was interrupted suddenly by an unexpected voice.
“I wonder what they are doing,” stated Ducky with curiosity, scratching the side of her beak.
Spike just grunted and shrugged, wolfing down another unfortunate bush as he was known to do in just about any situation.
“I don’t know Ducky,” faked Littlefoot, trying to hide his embarrassment at catching his friend in such a tender spot.
“I do,” added Ali, and she licked Littlefoot on the cheek as well. He went bright red, and returned her an understanding glance.
Sky gasped, and the two lovers separated in a mere moment. Annoyance was all over the blue wingtail’s face. This was private! Not only that, but the gang had interrupted his… ambitions.
“Littlefoot, Ali, Ducky, Spike… what are you doing here?” snapped Sky as an unintended reaction.
“We came up to help, just like you said… yep, yep, yep,” replied the obviously unphased swimmer.
“I… ah…” Sky stammered a bit, before regaining himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Star had backed away in shyness.
He didn’t blame her… his love hadn’t even met the two longnecks, the swimmer and the spiketail. It was fully fitting and proper to introduce them.
“My friends,” began Sky with dignity, “I would like you meet the love of my life… the wingtail that means the most to me in the entire world… Star.”
To her credit the scarlet wingtail bowed her head. Ducky stepped forward, and the two dinosaurs shook hands. Sky noticed immediately really how much the gang had grown… Ducky was now a head taller then both the wingtails and was starting to take on the appearance of an adult swimmer. Spike too had large spikes protruding from his back, and took up quite a bit more space then he had when they left the Great Valley. Those two however were nothing compared to Littlefoot and Ali, who were now almost twice as tall as Sky counting their necks. These land-walkers sure grow to impressive sizes awfully quickly.
As introductions completed, an air of relief and celebration came over the gathering. They all talked as if they were lifelong friends (which they were) and went over the details of what had happened up to that point.
“So where is Eybron,” commented Littlefoot with a hint of concern, “is he… you know…”
“Yes he is finally dead,” replied Star with relief and a hint of bitterness, “he fought Sky, and my love won just like he deserved to.”
Surprise highlighted the blue wingtail’s features, but no sooner had Star and he rubbed noses affectionately that the small fib had become the unblemished truth.
“Great!” exclaimed Ali, “so I guess this means that we-”
Thud.
The sound of a heavy landing behind Sky and Star caused everyone to turn and look towards its source. Star gasped slightly, but otherwise nobody made a sound. Glide was here, and by the contorted expression on his face they could all tell he wasn’t too happy.
“Where is HE?” boomed the black wingtail in anger, “where IS that white freak? Tell me so that I can RIP his heart out!”
“Glide,” answered Star calmly as she took a step towards her brother, “its okay… he’s dead. Sky fought him and he killed him.”
Glide noticeably relaxed, but only slightly. He still had lots of pent up aggression from the long flight to the Eye, and he planned to vent it somewhere.
“Did he?” questioned the black wingtail coldly, before turning to Sky. He ran his eyes up and down his former foe a few times, before snorting in disgust.
“Let’s go,” he said to Star, and he spread his wings to prepare for flight.
“No,” she answered, hardening her expression defiantly. Glide folded his wings, and came towards his sister.
“I said, let’s go.”
The black wingtail grabbed one of her wrists. In a moment Sky hissed at him and took a step forward. Nobody treats his mate like that… even one of her family members. Like a lightning bolt Glide extended a hand and shoved him backwards.
Littlefoot and Ali lowered their heads and growled. They too had lots of pent up aggression, and were all too happy to vent it on a wingtail of their choosing. The situation was getting ugly really fast. Glide stepped backwards and prepared to fight, but midstep he was hit by a shove from another wingtail and stumbled a bit. It was his own sister, Star.
“I’m staying right here with Sky,” she declared defiantly.
“Grr why are you acting like this!?!” shouted Glide as he pointed at Sky, “Can’t you see him for what he really is? He is a traitor to the wingtail race, and he will betray you! We are going home now before I get really angry and have to start breaking bones.”
“It’s because I LOVE HIM!” shouted Star, with more force then she had ever used with her brother ever before.
“…and if you can’t see that then I CAN’T LOVE YOU!”
The statement was so direct, so impactful that it was enough to cause his eyes to widen, and Glide stepped backwards. The hardened bubble that had surrounded the wingtail almost all his life was suddenly shattered, and he felt his strength of purpose start to melt away. She wouldn’t love him anymore? Star was everything to him and he only cared about what was best for her. Maybe what she wanted… was the best thing. A saddening thought fell upon him, a thought that she wasn’t a wingling anymore and no longer needed his protection. Just as the shell opened Glide clasped it shut again, rehardening his expression.
“Well?” asked Star assertively, expecting an answer. They all were.
Glide snorted.
“Fine.”
With great effort, the black wingtail turned towards his nemesis and rival… the blue wingtail that had changed so much of his life it was almost unspeakable. Swallowing his pride, Glide spoke.
“You have earned my sister’s trust and my… approval.”
Sky beamed with accomplishment, but Glide suddenly poked him in the chest with a pointing finger.
“But… if you ever hurt her you will be answering to me. Got it?”
The blue wingtail nodded, and just like that their long standing feud was over. For Sky, Star, and the rest of the gang it was an elating thought. All of a sudden things were interrupted by the stamping of feet, and the vicious snapping of trees in the near woods.
“Petrie return, haha,” called out a flyer circling overhead.
“Petrie!” exclaimed Ducky with joy as she looked upwards. Spike seemed equally ecstatic, as did Littlefoot and Ali.
“Welcome back Petrie,” commented Littlefoot with pride as his flying friend landed on the top of his head.
“Guess what? Petrie not afraid anymore! Fly through smoke and burning fire and flock of wingtails but make it through unhurt! Me invincible!”
Littlefoot laughed. It looked like Petrie was growing up too.
“So I guess this means you brought help,” stated Ali as she looked towards the stirring forest, “We’ll get to see the Lone Dinosaur in action again.”
Sure enough with a heaving grunt Doc rammed aside a bunch of trees and pressed his way into the clearing. Unlike the gang who were mostly uninjured despite the dirt and grime, he was covered in scratches and marks that shared a certain similarity with wingtail droppings. Clearly the longneck had seen better days.
“Hey Doc,” greeted Littlefoot, “guess what… we did it! Eybron’s gone, and the Lush Valley is safe!”
“Humph,” grumbled the large longneck, and he lowered his head to where Sky, Star, and Glide were standing, “I’ve had just about enough of you wingtail types around here… scram before I beat you off like the others.”
“Don’t worry,” assured Littlefoot hastily, “Sky and Star are our friends. They helped us get rid of him.”
“And what about that one?” growled Doc as he turned his massive head towards Glide, “ain’t seen him before…”
“He’s uh…” began Ali.
“…my brother,” finished Star.
Satisfied, the longneck backed his head away and settled his gaze on the somewhat tattered Eye of the World.
“Mighty strange tree this is,” he commented, “… and in my wanderings I’ve seen that no good comes of ëstrange’ things.”
On purpose the longneck leaned back on his hind legs, rearing up his front feet into the air. Everyone was so impressed that only one caught on to what exactly was about to happen.
“Get out of the way!” shouted Glide desperately, “NOW!”
The gathered dinosaurs scattered into the air and into the bushes as the Lone Dinosaur brought his feet crashing down on the ancient glass sculpture. Pieces of near irreplaceable volcanic assembly caved in on themselves and shattered into a thousand shards, scattering in all directions. Doc didn’t let up after the first blow, and did it again and again pummelling the precious piece of wingtail heritage into a pile of scraps.
No more would the Eye of the World threaten anyone with its terrible abilities… especially the denizens of the Lush Valley.
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Thank you so much for this star day gift, Caustizer. :DD I sincerely apologize that I couldn’t review it on my actual birthday (or at least sooner than today), and for not thanking you for it until now. Unfortunately to say, my brain is pretty much burnt out these days, so forgive me if my review is not as eloquent or enthusiastic as usual.
“Doc… Doc,” called out Petrie, “fire everywhere, me suppose to tell everyone to run.”
“Trips, Bronton… come with me! We have our families to protect.”
I think you should have more use of exclamation points in these sentences. I just don’t think the urgency of the characters’ lines is emphasized enough.
Also, considering that it’s a title, shouldn’t “lone dinosaur” be capitalized?
even with a heightened stamina the length of the dash mixed in with the poisonous fumes in the air was having an effect on all of them.
I would use “combined” in this instance. “Mixed in” doesn’t really work.
The white wingtail went about his work like a silent, brooding maniac, flapping his wings on occasion to turn the Eye of the World towards a brand new destination for his wraith.
I can’t remember if I’ve brought this up before (and I’m sorry if I haven’t), but throughout this story you’ve been misspelling “wrath” (as in rage or fury) as “wraith” (a spirit or apparition).
As usual, you are very good at helping the reader visualize the scenery as you tell the story. The first paragraph at the beginning of the third section of the chapter really captured the scale and intensity of the destruction Eybron was wreaking with the Eye of the World.
It was a bitter memory, and one that the white wingtail was loathe to forget.
Should be “loath”.
I thought that Eybron’s flashback scene might have been a little too integrated into the rest of the chapter. I would have italicized it to distinguish it from the present-day narrative.
After what seemed like an eternity the heat ceased as the beam was cut off. Star panted desperately as she caught her breath. Looking up she could see her distant saviour. A cloud was passing over the Bright Circle, a small puffy mass that simply carried on its own course uncaring about the events below.
ëCloud’, she thought through the pain, ëwhat a lovely name,’
You are so brilliant at subtly indicating where the characters get the names for their children. :lol (Seriously, I love it!) I would italicize Star’s thoughts, though (and later do the same with the “thud” sound effect heralding Glide’s arrival).
The confrontation between Eybron and Sky was outstanding. Actually, the whole section of the chapter at the Eye of the World was outstanding. It was a real thrill to read. :yes
I have to say, I didn’t expect Star would be the one to kill Eybron. :wow I believe that scene qualifies as her Crowning Moment of Awesome in this story. :smile And fantastic job giving Eybron a spectacular death scene. One thing I’m a little unclear on, though, is why Star wasn’t severely harmed by the Eye of the World when it was focused on her. Was Eybron only aiming some of the lenses at her, and so the beam wasn’t as intense?
The two wingtails gave each other significant birth as they circled, but the ring began to tighten as each one was just as eager to tear apart the other.
Should be “berth”.
Admittedly, I was a little disappointed that the gang (and, to a lesser extent, Glide) didn’t arrive at the scene in time to take part in the climax. I’m holding out hope that there will be a “second climax” of some sort in the next chapter that they’ll have an opportunity to contribute to.
“Grr* why are you acting like this!?!” shouted Glide as he pointed at Sky, “Can’t you see him for what he really is? He is a traitor to the wingtail race, and he will betray you! We are going home now before I get really angry and have to start breaking bones.”
I think only one exclamation point and one question mark is needed (I usually put the exclamation point at the end, since it is less necessary than the question mark). I would put the excess one at the end of the paragraph.
*Insert ellipse (…).
On purpose the longneck leaned back on his hind legs, rearing up his front feet into the air.
Perhaps this should be “purposefully” or “with purpose”. It doesn’t sound quite right the way it is.
I had a feeling that the Eye of the World would be destroyed, but I wouldn’t have guessed how it would happen or who, if anyone, would be responsible. Another awesome scene. :yes
I can still think of a lot of loose ends that need to be tied up in the next chapter: Will the gang reunite and return to the Great Valley? Where does Chomper go, and does he ever get to see what it was that Thud wanted to show him when he met him in the jungle? What happens to Barrau and Eybron’s other followers? And, most of all, what becomes of Tyron and his empire?
In summary, AWESOME chapter. :D Can’t wait for the rest. :smile
As promised, I re-read the entirety of Far Away Home (up to the last chapter) during my vacation to provide myself with a fresh memory of the whole thing. (It was surprising how many new details I noticed my second time reading the story.) Expect to see a review in the Fanfiction Awards soon. ;)
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Ooh! This was intense! Like... super awesome! My heart was pumping like crazy while reading this chapter. :DD
The last part was nice. It was a little weird that Sky and Star are going lovey dovey all of a sudden after the fight (or did I skip a part?). Anyways, loved the quote from Star telling her brother she doesn't love him anymore. Quite some powerful words! :D
Aww, so it's almost over now? ;^;
It makes me sad to see something coming to an end but it makes me happy at the same time to see you completing an awesome story that has gone for a year now. :^.^:
Only one last chapter to go now right? Let it end with a blast! :lol:
Uuuuuuwaaah! This is so awesome! :o It motivates me to the extreme! :wow :idea :D
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I have to say, I didn’t expect Star would be the one to kill Eybron. I believe that scene qualifies as her Crowning Moment of Awesome in this story. And fantastic job giving Eybron a spectacular death scene. One thing I’m a little unclear on, though, is why Star wasn’t severely harmed by the Eye of the World when it was focused on her. Was Eybron only aiming some of the lenses at her, and so the beam wasn’t as intense?
The beam was on Star for a lot shorter length of time then it was on Eybron. The white wingtail didn't react to the attack before he was already catching fire, and by then it was too late. She was lucky that the Cloud saved her!
Ooh! This was intense! Like... super awesome! My heart was pumping like crazy while reading this chapter.
The last part was nice. It was a little weird that Sky and Star are going lovey dovey all of a sudden after the fight (or did I skip a part?). Anyways, loved the quote from Star telling her brother she doesn't love him anymore. Quite some powerful words!
This scene was the big makeout scene for Sky and Star after beating the villian that had done them so much wrong, but I think you guys are a bit saturated with that whole 'lovey dovey' thing from FAH: Another Day. Perhaps I chose to write it too soon in that regard.
I'm glad you like the chapter, and I hope to see some good art from you Sky soon!
Caustizer :angel
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About time Eybron got his tail whooped, and by an unlikely hero too :wow! Until now, Star came across as just another damsel in distress. Nice to see her surprise readers :smile.
And I see Petrie has returned. Hopefully the rest of the Gang will reunite with Littlefoot's group soon :yes.
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I've started the next chapter of Far Away Home, though it seems like I won't make the 'end of the summer' deadline since they are all so long! :confused
I think the problem is that as I wrote new chapters I got better at it so I wanna try more things, throw in more plot twists, etc. to keep it interesting to me, but now that its so close to being done I just have so so many ends to wrap up its overwhelming! :angel
Anyway, after I'm finished this story I'll get back onto 'Ruby In the Jungle' before doing "Into Blacksun"... though I think it will be markedly shorter then this one. I don't wanna spend another 2 years writing it!
Caustizer.
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Awesome looking forward to the next one.
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DAMN! That was a seriously awesome scene.
I loved how Eybron was killed with his own superweapon - and by the one he had first test fired it on. And of course, Combat Pragmatism by the Wingtails.
I didn't like how the flashback was so well integrated; I couldn't tell what was past and what was present.
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The next and last chapter is in the works. Awesome! ...and sad at the same time :o
I'm really looking forward to this. :D
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It's that time again! Yes, the next chapter of Far Away Home is ready and published. I hope you all like it, and choose to comment for me!
Caustizer :angel
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Part XII: Sky’s Trial (A)
The sky was lit up by the crystal shine of a crescent moon as the colours of the landscape dulled to accommodate the passage of the night. Crickets tittered their usual routine like a natural symphony and the tropical grasses fluttered from the light passage of cool winds. The trees thinned at the south end of the Lush Valley, eventually disappearing altogether in the rain deprived ëDry Gorge’ leaving a place of barren but habitable land where no traveller would wish to stay for too long.
Things had settled all into place for Littlefoot and his friends, and looking back the longneck was grateful for it. The fires in the Lush Valley eventually burned themselves out, leaving the inhabitants to carry on with their lives. The entire group of them had returned including Doc, and since the word about his deed had already spread around a heroes welcome accompanied them wherever they went.
Sky and the other two wingtails had wisely taken a different course to resolve what his blue friend had described as ërecent family issues’. Littlefoot assumed it had something to do with that other black wingtail – ëGlide’ was it? – adjusting to not trying to kill them anymore. Wingtails were such strange creatures for that… keeping secrets and lying and holding grudges when there was really no need for it. The leaf eaters in the Great Valley had learned to forgive and forget for the most part, so it wasn’t something he understood too well.
“Goodbye Doc!” shouted Ducky as she waved at the longneck and his family just prior to their departure.
“We’ll see you soon,” added Littlefoot with a smile.
“Stay safe kid,” replied Doc roughly, turning his head towards Dara and his daughter as if he expected they had something to add.
“It’s been fun Littlefoot… my my it has,” commented Dara with a homely nod.
“Bye,” blurted her daughter awkwardly, since she didn’t really know any of them that well.
And then Littlefoot, Ducky, Ali, Petrie and Spike all made on their way out of the Lush Valley. They were in no great rush, since Sky hadn’t wanted to meet up with them again until the next morning. Casual conversation covered the whole trip, with Petrie and Ducky talking about things they were and weren’t afraid of, followed by why Spike eats so much, and then why sharpteeth have such sharp teeth and… by then Littlefoot had stopped listening. There was something odd about Ali’s expression… like there had been a big glob of food in her mouth for the past hour and a half.
“Ali, are you alright?” questioned the Longneck with a bit of concern as he walked beside her.
She didn’t answer, but instead nodded enthusiastically. Strange… maybe she was hiding something? Whatever it was it must be important for her to keep her mouth shut over it.
“Okay,” Littlefoot stated, before carrying on as usual.
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As the Great Circle’s light just crept over the horizon of the following day, Littlefoot arose from his sleeping place next to Ali. Ducky was laying with her head on a rock next to Spike, and Petrie was sprawled out on his back like a massive dusty leaf, yet there was definitely someone who was missing. Cera had always contributed to the group in her own way, and now that she had been gone for so long it was strange that he was growing to miss her now of all times. Silently, the longneck wondered what had become of the other half of the gang… Cera, Ruby, and Chomper. With Ruby’s knowledge of the mysterious beyond and Chomper’s super sense of smell, they had likely already made it back home. Hopefully they would be waiting for them when they got back.
A harsh flapping of wings sounded in the air nearby followed by a creaking groan from a set of branches as a heavy flyer set down upon them. Littlefoot looked upwards to see who it was, and was surprised to see not the luminesant blue of Sky’s feathers but the dark black of his now brother-in-law Glide. The longneck took a step back in caution, but the black wingtail wasn’t even looking at him. The piercing glare of his eyes was pointed upwards on an angle, staring off into the distance.
Following his gaze, Littlefoot soon discovered a magnificent show taking place in the air. Sky and his new mate Star flew together in an airborne dance that he had never seen any other flyer replicate… even during the Great Day of the Flyers in the Great Valley. They looped together, holding hands for a moment before parting and banking away. It was so exhilarating watching them perform, he felt bad about how little he had actually done to show Ali how he felt. Only one embarrassing failed attempt and a collection of red cheeked moments was what he could recall… it was a good thing she wasn’t awake to see this!
Up in the trees Glide watched them lock arms and twirl in the sky, their tails blowing majestically behind them, and growled. The longneck below noticed the gesture, and decided to speak to him about it.
“Why do you hate him so much?” Littlefoot asked thoughtfully, “Sky has been a loyal friend to us for the whole way since we left the Great Valley, and I’m sure he will be hers too.”
“Hah,” snorted the black wingtail, “this matter is beyond your limited understanding land walker. I’ve been like a father to her since our parents left and now she does this…”
Littlefoot extended his neck all the way up as high as he could, and it was just tall enough to reach the height of the branch Glide was sitting on. His advantage of looking down lost the black wingtail pouted and crossed his arms in disregard.
“I lost my parents too when I was young,” commented the longneck with sadness, “It’s… an awful thing, but something good came of it. My friends and I would never have been so close if it wasn’t for my mom-”
Littlefoot stopped there… he really didn’t want to talk about it any farther. She was gone, and he had long accepted that. Her, and his dad too. There were a few moments of silence as the two of them watched the wingtails conclude their lovely dance and head towards the ground.
“Friends aren’t the same as family,” replied Glide empathetically, “when things get tough you can’t trust any of them… least of all him…”
“Look at it this way,” replied Littlefoot hesitantly but maturely, “at least they’re both happy right?”
Glide didn’t look too happy about it at all.
“You’re insufferable,” the black wingtail replied with distain, “…just like that runner.”
The longneck’s senses pricked as he caught the last part.
“Runner?” inquired Littlefoot, “who are you talking about?”
Glide glanced up towards his sister and her new love, noting that they were descending fast and would be here in moments. Fortunately he wouldn’t have to continue this useless conversation any longer then a minute or so.
“Ruby, Chompy, and… erm… the threehorn,” answered the wingtail without enthusiasm, “plus the other two… I can’t remember anything about them besides how much they annoyed me.”
Sky swooped in and landed on the nearest branch he could find wide enough to accommodate his new best friend. Star hung back for a moment, and once he was settled landed next to him. Glide and Littlefoot promptly cut off their conversation at the arrival of the newcomers. The rest of the gang had awoken as well, and were going through their usual morning routines of stretching, eating (Spike), or in the case of Ali rejoining Littlefoot’s side. Clutching his ribs, Sky spoke up.
“Perhaps I shouldn’t be exerting myself so much just after such severe injuries,” the blue wingtail commented with a gasp of pain as he felt across a rib that was surely broken, “…my dance was absolutely awful.”
“You did just fine,” commented Star with sincerity, “I haven’t felt this good in a long time Sky.”
Briefly, they touched noses. Glide notably flinched.
“Hey Sky…” called Littlefoot, “guess what I found out… your brother says he knows where Ruby, Chomper and Cera are!”
“We are not brothers land walker!” hissed Glide suddenly, “nor shall we ever be.”
Sky looked a bit uncomfortable and shifted his gaze somewhere else. Star on the other wing glared venomously at the black wingtail. She had been pushed around by him for all of her life, and she wasn’t going to take it anymore. He had promised he wouldn’t fight with Sky anymore – at least physically – but clearly he wasn’t even trying to make things work. This wasn’t going to be an easy relationship.
Ducky cleared her throat, and it was loud enough to interrupt the proceedings and attract everyone’s attention.
“I think Ali has something she wants to say,” commented the swimmer maturely, gesturing towards the longneck.
Littlefoot was slightly surprised as she took a silent step forward. What was she going to say? Did it have something to do with him? Did her and Ducky plan something secret? His question was soon answered as the female longneck stopped in front of Sky, and dropped something out of her mouth. Judging by the dull ring it made when it hit the ground, Littlefoot knew exactly what it was.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what to get you for your Star Day Sky,” Ali started with a hint of shyness, “and after what’s happened I almost forgot about it. It was very hard for us to think of something a wingtail might like, since for all the time we have spent together we still don’t know too much about you.”
Sky looked genuinely surprised but composed, and nodded at the statement for her to continue. Star looked at him knowingly, but otherwise did not interrupt.
“So here it is,” Ali finished, “I hope you like it.”
The female longneck picked up the Occular carefully with her teeth, and brought her long neck up to where Sky was perched. Cautiously the blue wingtail removed it with wide eyes, before cleaning it off eagerly with his feathers. Satisfied, he slipped it underneath his wing where it was safe.
“I really don’t know what to say,” said Sky with gratitude, and he spread his wings wide, “I am really, truly thankful you found it for me. You all have my eternal friendship.”
“Hooray!” called out Petrie, “Happy Star Day!”
Sky looked happily upon the gang as they celebrated his triumph. It was a little bit late in coming… but then late was always better than never.
“I don’t understand,” inquired Star, “wasn’t your Star Day seasons ago?”
“No,” replied Sky smugly as he took her hand with his, “with you it’s every day.”
It took a moment for her to get the pun, but when she did the scarlet wingtail started laughing. Soon the two of them were both laughing together, and everyone seemed to be having a good time.
Glide looked on without amusement. That wasn’t even that funny.
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Later that day night time crept over the waters of the Abyss Lake. The surface was completely still, mostly due to the lack of wind. Where there usually would be silent, motionless shoreline there was a beehive of activity in the Feral Forest. Wingtails flew above while Runners walked below, and in some places they even lingered together conversing about the big fight and about how brilliant it had been. A few did not share in the mood, the hatred of the other kind keeping them apart and distrustful. They mostly kept to small groups in the trees and on the ground, socializing with one another if at all.
Perhaps the greatest attraction of all was the latest confection of Aizon’s Creators – fire burned water swimmers! The blaze from the previous few days set by the Grand Creator had been maintained religiously by his kin and carried by the way of burning sticks to light a fire anew for all to see. Many of both Runner and Wingtail heritage had never seen real fire before this close… not counting the recent volcanic eruption far to the north… and gazed into the flickering coals with a mixture of fear and wonder. Ruby and her new best friend were not amongst them.
The two runners had made the most of the entire day together, exploring as much of the forest as they could. Since this territory was usually off limits to runners, it was a remarkable chance to see something new. Cera had declined to go with them, insisting she wanted to ësort things out’ with a few wingtails that had wronged her. Ruby supposed it was those two kidnappers that had taken her away, and wished her luck.
“You run very fast,” commented Swiftrunner as he walked with her through the crowds on the forest floor, “and…you come back to save me.”
Ruby grinned at the praise… but she didn’t feel that heroic. The fastrunner had only did what she thought needed to be done. If it had been her that tripped, she knew he would’ve come back for her too.
“Get out of the way.. oof,” somebody familiar called out over a jostling group of runners, “now how is a spikemouth like me supposed to move with it being so crowded?”
Swiftrunner and Ruby turned towards the source of the noise, and sure enough Siak came hobbling through with a few other familiar faces in tow.
“I’ll say it’s like a feeding frenzy going on down here,” commented Gentry, “I only hope there’s an eggshell or two left when they’re all done.”
Siak shot him a dire look.
“Speak with care,” she chided, “there’s lots of wingtails around and if you think the runners were mean about their eggs you don’t know the half of it.”
Ruby was listening in, but suddenly she felt her friend tugging at her shoulder.
“You run away… she be very mad… we go now,” insisted Swiftwalker, his expression showing that he was keen to help Ruby avoid the wraith of the spikemouth.
The warning was too late. Turning up from her little discussion with the Eggstealer, Siak spotted the two of them standing together.
“Well,” called out Siak with indignation, “…have I got a bone to pick with you.”
The spikemouth walked over to them, Gentry following silently behind her. She got to where she was right in front of the two runners, and put her claws on her hips. Ruby didn’t say anything, but looked slightly towards the ground in shame.
“What were you thinking running away like that? You could have been hurt or eaten!” lectured the Spikemouth, adding a click of her teeth for emphasis.
“I’m sorry,” apologised Ruby, “but I just had to make sure Swifty was alright, just so I could be sure I could see him again.”
“And she run real fast,” added Swiftwalker positively, “she save me from sharptooth.”
“That still doesn’t make what you did right,” continued Siak, “I’ve been worried sick about you and that little Chomper.”
“Chomper?” asked Ruby with alarm, “but he didn’t come with me at all…”
“Of course he did,” replied Siak matter of factly, “and rest assured it would’ve been on my back if anything had happened to either of you.”
“But yet such a dire eventuality did not occur,” interjected a familiar wingtail from the trees above, “it is my view that so long as one remains in the land of the living, the misfortune was not great enough for worry.”
Aizon fluttered down silently like a shadow of the night, joining the conversation. Many others who were also within the general area stopped what they were doing and gasped with awe. The navy blue wingtail had gone from silently admired to a legend overnight, and from what Ruby had heard that day he was being constantly hounded by admirers and simple folk that wished him to bestow upon them his ëinfinite’ wisdom.
“Hah, I was wondering when you would finally decide to show your face to me again,” blurted Siak shifting her anger, “I could have sworn after you left us and didn’t come back you were gone for good.”
“Please,” assured the wingtail softly as he pressed his hands together, “now is not the appropriate time to discuss such past matters.”
“I agree… but I can at least demand an explanation as to why you just up and left.
Aizon sighed, looking down briefly while he rubbed off his glasses with one wing.
“…the time of which my assistance was needed came to an end.”
Siak looked incensed by the comment and was about to snap something back when Ruby interrupted.
“Sorry, but what are you two talking about?” the runner asked with curiosity.
“I can see this topic must be resolved before we move on,” answered Aizon with tact, “perhaps you should start my fair and caring friend.”
Siak blushed a bit at the comment while maintaining the mask of her anger, and turned towards the two runners.
“I guess I’ll start with the favour I owed him. After Mais… went on his way I was heartbroken and lost. Given that his children were on the way, I didn’t know how I was to feed them I mean I couldn’t sit on the nest and hunt at the same time… that’s when I met Aizon.”
“Indeed,” continued the navy wingtail, “I offered to provide a safe place for her to nest in return for a hand in raising her young. At the time my interest in parenting had been tweaked by… ah… other concurrent events in my life.”
“And then you just up and left one day.”
“Your children had grown into young adults and were prepared to make the rest of life’s journey on their own. My assistance was no longer needed. Perhaps you blame me for their departure?”
Siak suddenly looked guilty, and turned away. A wingtail came diving through the forest, speeding through the trees at a rate that would have seemed dangerous to a flightless observer.
“Everyone, Sky has returned! The traitor has come back… he flies among us once again!”
The place turned into a chaotic swarm as wingtails took to the air in vengeance. Little had escaped from the musings of the Council of Elders on the subject of Sky, but nasty rumours had been circulating for the past season that the blue wingtail was responsible for the sharptooth attack. It was nonsense, but then not all wingtails were as smart as Aizon to dismiss such gossip.
“Pardon my sudden exit,” began the navy blue wingtail as he extended his wings, “but I’m afraid another matter requires my immediate attention.”
With Aizon’s departure the forest around the gang became a lot quieter and empty. Soon only Siak, Ruby, Swiftwalker, and Gentry remained.
“Hmm, we had best stay as far away from this one as we can,” commented Siak with concern, “this ëSky’ sounds like a nasty fellow from all the talk that’s been blowing around.”
Ruby shifted uncomfortably. She remembered her encounter with the wingtail a long time back, and how hateful he was towards her. It certainly wasn’t a stretch for her to imagine him being hated by his own kind, but as the runner thought about it more an idea came to her.
“Wait,” insisted Ruby, “I know him.”
“You do!?!” uttered Siak in surprise, “how girl?”
Swiftwalker switched his attention away from how he and Ruby could make a quick getaway to the conversation at hand, and at the same time Gentry also turned his head down from the trees above (he had been secretly looking for unguarded nests).
“We left the Great Valley together a long time ago,” explained Ruby, “Chomper, Cera and I as well as some others you wouldn’t know: Littlefoot, Ducky, Ali, Petrie and Spike.”
“…and what happened? How were you separated?”
“Well,” started Ruby nervously, not knowing where to start, “Sky wouldn’t talk to me because I am a Runner. Cera confronted him about it, and he didn’t apologise. Soon after that we just… parted ways.”
“You mean to tell me that stuffy wingtail wouldn’t talk to you because of what you looked like?” fumed Siak, “The nerve!”
Swiftwalker nodded his head in agreement. He wouldn’t have let anyone stick up their nose at his friend if he had been there.
“Come on,” insisted Siak as she grabbed Ruby’s arm and pulled her on, “let’s go give him a talking to before the others get to him.”
“But…but… this isn’t a good idea,” resisted Ruby, “wait, we don’t have to do this.”
“Oh yes we do.”
The plains runner could see there was no hope in trying to convince the spikemouth otherwise, so reluctantly she gave in and soon they were off again to right another injustice.
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Sky, Star and Glide flew in a triangular formation as they entered the Feral Forest. The flight should have been triumphant, but unfortunately the circumstances prevented it from being so. Sky felt uplifted as he flew on the left side of the wing next to Star. He felt back at home here, and even after such a long time away the memories came flooding back like he had only left yesterday. There was the clearing where he had his first class, his former family tree (now occupied by another family of wingtails), and even the place next to the lake where he first met Star. If this was the positive side of his return, the negative soon became quite apparent.
Word of his presence spread like wildfire, and soon a flock of wingtails were tailing them. Some called out insults and profanities, while others remained silent and simply looked on in amazement. A few times one tried to approach him, but an aggressive growl and a threatening swipe of Glide’s foot claws warded them away. The mob brought back an unpleasant recollection of being nearly attacked by Eybron’s wingtails, but another more important thought quickly suppressed it.
“Where are we going Star?” Sky asked with uncertainty, “I thought we were headed to the Elders’ Tree?”
The scarlet wingtail’s face was a mask of determination and anticipation when she turned to him.
“We’re going home. My aunt and uncle are waiting for us at the family tree.”
“But…” began Sky.
“No buts,” interjected Star with a smile, “there is someone you need to meet.”
The blue wingtail had a collection of questions come to mind but he decided to just trust his love. He could only hope that Star’s family would accept him easier than Glide did.
…
Star was the first to enter the large tree by the edge of the forest, tucking in her wings and swooping inside through the leaves. Sky was next, nearly clipping the edges of a branch with his wingtips. It had been so long since he had last entered a wingtail dwelling, he was a bit rusty. Landing on a limb inside, he noticed where Star had hopped up above to a different level and leaped up to follow her. A brief rustling sound informed him that Glide was on his tail.
“Are you sure we should be staying here?” asked Sky with concern as he shifted until he was roosting right next to her, “because I don’t think it’s completely safe for us even with the flying sharptooth covering our backs.”
Glide hopped up onto the branch late enough to not hear Sky’s gibe, and as he settled on a different branch he looked on with a neutral expression. The black wingtail had promised not to fight with him, but maybe it wasn’t a good idea to push it even in good humour.
“Shhh!” Star insisted, putting a finger to her mouth.
Sky went silent as she asked him to, and after a few moments a brownish-red wingtail emerged from a hallow within the tree. She looked like she was quite venerable, and he recognized her from a long time ago as Star’s Aunt Fliela. A small, feathery object was being carried in her arms and wrapped by her leathery wings. Coming into a beam of light Sky suddenly made out a pair of closed eyes and a small wing. It was a hatchling!
Fliela turned towards him and looked up and down Sky from his feet to the tip of his nose. Surprisingly, she said nothing and turned to Star with a smile on her face. While her mate and her brother looked on Star touched noses with her aunt in recognition, and the hatchling was handed between them right into the scarlet wingtail’s hands. Startled at the sudden loss of warmth, the tiny wingtail cried out. Smoothly Star ran her fingers through its dark blue feathers in a motherly fashion.
“Congratulations,” Sky said to Aunt Fliela with courtesy.
Oddly, she smiled back and nodded towards her niece.
“I should be the one congratulating you.”
As the realization of what she meant reverberated through him, Sky broke a cold sweat. Was it actually possible? Could it be?
Star laughed and turned towards him, the hatchling cooing softly in his mother’s embrace.
“No silly,” she corrected, “…he’s ours.”
Sky gasped, the sharp intake of breath coming out like a muted squawk. He was a dad! This is his son! The joy of the event was overwhelming. He hadn’t expected it to happen this soon, if ever. His first instinct was to leap forward and embrace his mate with all his energy, but doing so would endanger the baby.
The wingling suddenly opened his eyes. The youngster looked around slowly and without direction like he had no idea where he was or what was going on. What was that sound? Following his first instincts, the dark blue wingling uttered a sound of his own… a perfect copy of Sky’s gasp.
It was hard to tell who was more shocked - Sky or Star - when their son squawked a sound that was a flawless imitation of one of their own. How did he do that? Did he have a hidden talent that suddenly revealed itself?
“Oh I’m so proud of you!” stated Star as she hugged him close to her body. The hatchling seemed to enjoy the warmth.
“I…don’t know what to say,” added Sky as his mouth just started to work again.
Star rubbed her nose against the top of the hatchling’s head affectionately as he appeared to go back to sleep.
“He just hatched this morning,” stated Aunt Fliela with pride, “I’ve been sitting on him day and night for you Star. He was quite the feisty one knocking around inside the shell, I was surprised he didn’t come out sooner.”
“I can’t thank you enough,” replied Star with deep sincerity, “if Eybron would have found out… I…”
“He needs a name,” put in Glide suddenly.
All three of the other wingtails turned towards him. His tone was adorned with emotion, which was highly unusual for him. Was the wingtail of rock getting choked up?
“The hatchling needs a name,” repeated the black wingtail, swallowing to get a hold of himself.
“What do you think Sky?” asked Star with anticipation, “the honour goes to you.”
“Umm…I…ah,” stammered Sky. Silently he was kicking himself for not thinking about it sooner. He had expected that they would discuss it months in advance of an egg actually hatching.
Looking around desperately for an idea, Sky’s eyes settled on the gap in the leaves above where the light of the night moon was shining down. A radiant, silver lined cloud hovered in the sky surrounded by stars.
“How about… Cloud?” suggested Sky.
The blue wingtail would never know that many many seasons ago when he hatched his father had looked up and done the same thing.
“Cloud,” repeated Star as she held up the hatchling in her arms.
The wingling’s tail flopped down, revealing a small puffy formation on the end.
“…what a lovely name.”
With waves of pure joy flowing through him, Sky carried on with what was probably the best night of his life. With the hatred of his entire race following him though, it was only a matter of time before he would have to face the very elders that condemned him to death so long ago. If tonight was his best night, then tomorrow could very well be his worst.
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Sorry that I've been holding this off. I said I'd read your fiction, and write a review for it for the fanfiction awards, but that never happened. I'm gonna start reading this story now, and leaving what I think of every chapter as I get through it. I'm probably just going to edit this post as I read, so as to not be cluttering up your thread. Does that sound good?
Act 1
Prologue
Well, right off the bat I see you've already used an Idea that I was going to use for a LBT story I want to write. :lol Oh well, I'll still go through with it. This is really cool here, having the Gang as grownups, and having Sky tell the story. I see a couple of grammar mistakes, like a present tense word when it should be past tense, but these are very minor. This looks interesting from the get go, and I like the foreshadowing with Sky pulling out and showing off the Occular.
Chapter 1
I like the way you described longnecks, as knowledgeable but arrogant. I kind of feel threehorns fall more under that category, but I can see that too. I'm noticing some more errors in this one, again mostly with confusing past and present tense. Sky to me seems a little bit on the...arrogant side. Ironically, he sort of seems like the longnecks he's bashing to me. :p I'll stop here for now, as I'm at a nice cliff hanger.
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Oh dear... the last part... it was... it was just beautiful and sweet~ :wub
It really touched my heart. :yes
Ahem, okay, I see that this isn't the final chapter yet. :o So there is only the "B" part and epilouge left. :) I can't wait for the final chapters to come out. :^.^:
(Ahh! I'm sorry I couldn't give any better respond... :oops)
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@Sky:
I'm glad you like it. :smile
The introduction of Cloud into the story was an event I had been planning for several months and it was a part that I poured over the details for the most in the process of writing the story. The main thing I couldn't get right was how Sky would react to the news that Star had been breeding their hatchling in secret. In the end I settled upon a 'gasp of surprise' that gave baby Cloud the oppertunity to demonstrate his unique gift.
:angel
@vonboy:
Sky was designed to be a bit of an unpredictable character. His heart is in the right place, but sometimes the things he says and does do not come across as being particularly nice at all. This aspect of his personality makes him interesting (I hope!) and ensures that he is an unpredictable character for the benefit of the plot and the interest of the reader too. :angel
Caustizer
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It feels like there is something...missing...
It's probably just me :angel
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I don’t even know how to begin to apologize for not reviewing the story on time. :slap All I have for now is a probably meaningless offer of “I’m sorry”. :bang This was a wonderful chapter, and the sort of reviewing it deserves is far better than what I am capable of giving.
Sky and the other two wingtails had wisely taken a different course to resolve what his blue friend had described as ërecent family issues’. Littlefoot assumed it had something to do with that other black wingtail – ëGlide’ was it? – adjusting to not trying to kill them anymore.
I admit, that sentence made me chuckle. :lol I also liked the part that follows this, where Littlefoot considers the difference between the wingtails’ and the Great Valley dinosaurs’ ways of dealing with forgiveness.
There was something odd about Ali’s expression… like there had been a big glob of food in her mouth for the past hour and a half.
When I read that line, I thought that it was a figurative description, implying that Ali had something she wanted to say that she was reluctant to “spit out”. :p I didn’t think that she actually had something in her mouth, much less the Occular. :lol
There was something I found amusing about Siak’s expressed opinion of Sky based on the rumors she had heard about him. And uh-oh, as if a threehorn wasn’t enough, what’s Sky going to think when a crazy spike-toothed dinosaur he’s never met before comes to him demanding that he apologize to the fast runner he last met over a year ago? :lol
So Aizon offered to help Siak in return for a chance to help her raise her young? Now that’s interesting. It appears that there’s a lot about Aizon we still don’t know. I’m curious now to learn more about his backstory. Any chance we’ll be seeing more of Aizon in any of FAH’s sequels or side stories? I never would have expected it, but I think he’s become one of my favorite characters in Far Away Home.
The entire scene where Sky was introduced to his son was adorable. :wub Brilliantly written, too. As far as Sky’s reaction goes, I agree that the “gasp of surprise” was the best route to take. :yes
Seriously, I loved this chapter. Bravo, Caustizer. :DD I hope you can forgive the brevity of this review, and the time it took me to post it.
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I read pieces of the last chapter and it was very good.
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So Aizon offered to help Siak in return for a chance to help her raise her young? Now that’s interesting. It appears that there’s a lot about Aizon we still don’t know. I’m curious now to learn more about his backstory. Any chance we’ll be seeing more of Aizon in any of FAH’s sequels or side stories? I never would have expected it, but I think he’s become one of my favorite characters in Far Away Home.
Aizon plays a fairly prominant role in 'Into Blacksun'. There is a lot I haven't revealed about him yet because he is supposed to be mysterious and interesting. A couple of things I haven't talked about yet with him are:
A) What was the 'concurrent' event that led to Aizon becoming interested in children?
B) What is the relationship between Aizon and Sky?
C) How does Aizon feel about the Eye of the World's destruction? Will he accept the fact that the Sonicron must be destroyed too?
Lots to write about yet, which is what worries me. I try splitting the chapters into two and yet they still come out as huge! Maybe it has something to do with all the prose I like to jam in to make the conversations flow better. :angel
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Just coming in for my 2 months update. I did another paragraph of Far Away Home tonight, but it's proving harder then ever. The main stumbling block I've been facing lately is trying to come up with reasonable things for Littlefoot's and Ruby's side of the gang to say when they meet up. Since it was over 2 years ago that I prepared my notes for the scene, they are out of date and frankly look pretty shitty to me now :anger . Trying to do them again, I find it is highly difficult to overcome the nostalgia surrounding the old arrangement. :cry
The sequence surrounding Sky's Trial is very well set and good enough to escape (or rather pass unquestionably) my quality control mechanisms and will be pretty good once I get it done - but unforunately I gotta figure out how to tie the loose end mentioned above before I can publish it too. :angel
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Hooray! Another chapter of Far Away Home. :DD
Happy birthday Sky, and I hope you have the best day ever tommarrow! :celebrate
Thank for your all the artwork you've made for me over the past three years, and I hope you enjoy the last official chapter of the story. The eplilogue will be posted as well at some point, to tie up all the loose strings still fluttering around.
Hope you and all the other readers enjoy it! :angel
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Part XII: Sky’s Trial (B)
Where had Sky flown off to this time?
Littlefoot was slightly annoyed as he thought again what the group of them had gotten into. The blue wingtail had talked over exactly what he had planned to do just before they reached the outer edges of the Feral Forest, and yet the longneck still couldn’t see exactly how everything could work out to plan.
After a long discussion, Star had insisted that she would lead Sky to the Elders’ Tree (apparently that was the ruling body of the wingtails) to confront them about the charges they had laid down and set everything right again. Glide had been adamant that he would be going with them wherever they went, and he seemed to act in a way that went opposite to the fighting words he had shouted earlier. It was yet another strange quality that the longneck didn’t understand… why not just admit that Sky was family now instead of playing games? The black wingtail’s spite did not make sense.
“The trees here are really, really big,” commented Ducky passively as she pushed aside a branch with one of her arms. Courteously, she held it up so Spike could pass and he murmured in appreciation.
“Ow,” uttered Ali briefly as she pushed her way through a mess of sticks and limbs, “this place is too cramped… we should try another way.”
Littlefoot pushed on as he always had, providing a good example to the others.
“Sky is in here somewhere,” the longneck insisted, “we have to keep looking.”
Pushing his neck through the thickets, Littlefoot caught a familiar scent in his nostrils. It smelt like… like…
“…Ruby?”
“Which way did that wingtail say he was?” barked a mysterious voice behind the thick vegetation, “I don’t want to spend all day pushing around in this mess…”
“Can we please go back? I don’t like this at all.” questioned another voice from beyond. This one was a lot more familiar.
“Ruby… is that you?” called out Littlefoot.
He was so excited, his voice was a bit more jumpy then usual. How was it possible that the runner could be here in the Feral Forest… of all places? Littlefoot thought that the wingtails hated runners with a passion.
“Littlefoot!?!” he heard the runner shout from behind the thickets, “I can hear you, but I can’t see you!”
“Hang on,” called back the longneck.
“What… who are you talking to girl?”
Pushing through the underbrush, Littlefoot forced his way painfully past the worst of it and burst through to what looked like a dark but open clearing. Right away, he noticed an almost fully grown fastrunner and a strange kind of sharptooth looking up at him.
“Littlefoot!” called out Ruby excitedly, “I can’t believe you’re here… I didn’t think we’d see you again!”
“By all that swims!” barked the strange sharptooth, “are you a longneck? … I didn’t think there were any of you around here.”
The longneck lowered his head, and Ruby and he touched noses in greeting.
“Wow, you’re so big!” remarked the runner excitedly, “I almost don’t know who you are.”
“I could say the same about you too Ruby,” replied the longneck with a smile, “you’re starting to look just like your mom.”
“What’s going on, who are you talking to?” asked Ali as she finally caught up and got through the bushes behind Littlefoot, “Ruby? How…what are you doing here?”
“Two longnecks!?!” exclaimed Siak.
“Ali too,” continued Ruby, “but then that means…”
Ducky, Petrie and Spike caught up too and there was a joyous but confusing reunion. Both sides had tons of questions, and it was only made even more complicated by Swiftwalker’s arrival into the circle. After a few minutes of exchanging stories and getting caught up on current events the important questions started:
“Where is Cera?” asked Ducky with interest.
“She’s around here somewhere,” declared Siak, “but the Great Circle knows where… she had a bone to pick with some wingtails for one thing or another.”
“Sounds just like Cera,” answered Littlefoot with a smile, “and what about Chomper?”
“I don’t-”
“Over here.”
Ruby was interrupted by a quiet, but assertive voice. All heads turned towards a gap in the trees where dusk was advancing down the horizon. A single adolescent sharptooth stood there in the half light, his familiar face a mix of sorrow and relief.
“Chomper!” called out both Ruby and Littlefoot at once.
Almost as suddenly as he appeared, the sharptooth turned and his heels and dashed away. He was much bigger now then he had ever been when Littlefoot knew him, but it made no difference. Out of the entire group, the fastrunners and Littlefoot rose to their feet and went after him with all due haste.
“Chomper it’s me, Littlefoot,” the longneck called out desperately over the light thudding of his footsteps. The fastrunners had already pushed way ahead.
The chase came to an end at the edge of a stony ridge. The great circle was halfway set already and its glowing light was made all the more red by the traces of volcanic ash that still remained in the air. Chomper stood on the edge of the prepuce, looking out towards the lands beyond in the west. Soon, they would be his new home.
“You are going, aren’t you?” questioned Ruby, but it was more of a statement.
Chomper turned around sadly and nodded.
“I really, really wish you could stay,” said Ruby like she was about to cry.
“Me too.”
Ruby stepped forward and hugged Chomper, who was now slightly bigger then she was. Swiftwalker stood beside her, but his expression was unreadable. A moment later a loud, long sharptooth roar echoed throughout the lands beyond.
“My mommy and new daddy are waiting,” added Chomper with a hint of sadness, “goodbye Ruby.”
“Goodbye Chomper.”
The fastrunner had to wipe a few tears from her eyes as the sharptooth moved to get on his way.
“Goodbye Littlefoot,” ended Chomper as he turned towards the longneck that had raised him from an egg, “…I hope for you that we don’t meet again.”
It was delivered without malice, but caringly from a friend to a friend. The sharptooth had already jumped down the ridge when the longneck finally composed himself.
“Chomper you don’t have to go!” Littlefoot shouted as he halted at the edge, “Wait!”
“He’s already gone,” stated a familiar voice from the trees above.
Littlefoot, Ruby, and Swiftwalker turned towards the source of the statement to find it was the navy blue wingtail that two of them had met before. Aizon was busy wiping off his glasses like nothing important was happening, an action that gave Littlefoot a poor first impression.
“Who are you?” demanded the longneck impolitely, still upset from his friend’s sudden departure.
“He Aizon,” interrupted Swiftwalker with a bit of indignity, “good wingtail… you give him lots of respect.”
The longneck held his tongue for a moment. He didn’t mean to sound so rude.
“I understand your feelings… it is never an easy thing to watch a good friend go. It is a sensation I have regrettably experienced many times,” continued Aizon, “you are Littlefoot… one of Sky’s travel companions am I correct?”
“Yeah,” answered the longneck, “do you know where he is… we have been looking for him.”
Aizon looked unblemished.
“You do not need to worry,” the navy wingtail mused, “he is quite alright at the moment… but if it will continue into the days ahead I cannot say.”
“What do you mean?” inquired Littlefoot with a hint of worry.
“Sky is to stand trial tomorrow before the Council of Elders when the great circle is at its highest. It would be in his best interest and yours if you and your companions were to attend.”
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Morning came all too soon for the group of wingtails that now rested in Star’s family tree. Sky slept pleasantly with his love at his side, dreaming about all the things he wanted Cloud to be and all the things he was going to teach him. As the great circle’s light rolled through the leaves and warmed away the dew, a loud squealing woke both Sky and Star suddenly. The scarlet wingtail reacted quickly, checking to see what was the matter with her newborn son.
Cloud was squawking repeatedly as if in a great amount of discomfort. His mother tried to calm him down, but was unsuccessful.
“Hush now, its okay…” reassured Star through the tirade of noise.
“Do you think he’s hungry?” asked Sky with concern.
“Yes he must be,” concluded Star, “… I think we have to go fishing.”
There was a harsh swooping sound, and Glide burst through the leaves and came to a perch on the same branch the other two were sitting on. In his mouth was a freshly caught water swimmer… so fresh it was still twitching.
“How convenient,” remarked Sky, “it appears your brother has brought us some breakfast.”
“For you and the hatchling,” the black wingtail insisted as he set it down next to Star.
He shot a sharp glare at Sky and departed suddenly, drawing a sigh from the blue wingtail. Apparently these jabs were something he would have to get used to.
…
Word of the time and place of the ëThree Trials’ spread almost as quickly through the Feral Forest as word of Sky’s return had the previous day. Concluding their morning fishing and hunting almost all the wingtails in the forest had opted to attend. Adding in the additional land walker attendees, the Elders agreed hastily to move the location from the Elders’ Tree into the only place big enough to accommodate them all – Sonicron Hill.
Now a place of both infamy and glory, the trees on all sides were full of wingtails and other fliers. Runners occupied the lower reaches, and looked on with curiosity in what would normally be a wingtail matter. Littlefoot, Ali, Cera, Ducky, Petrie, Spike, Ruby, Swiftwalker, Siak, Gentry and Thylo all sat together forming the oddest herd that had ever entered this sacred place. A few of the more conservative wingtails disapproved, but overall it was overlooked in anticipation of the highest matter of the day.
Those to be tried stood in the middle of the hill facing the Sonicron, where all nine elders – both old and new – sat with their leader at the head. Cinceel had been removed from her temporary hold on the position in favour of the more highly respected green wingtail Theanol, much to her displeasure. Aizon was also present amongst their ranks, even though he wasn’t a member of their circle. It was a mark of the standing he now held that his word was to be weighted with the others.
Of Eybron’s thirty wingtails, fully twenty five of them now remained and they all stood in a line, their faces marked with shame at their predicament. Ending off the line was Sky, appearing confident but nervous, and an extremely angry Glide. The black wingtail was furious when he found out he was to be tried along with his now brother in law. He had done nothing but sacrifice for these cursed Elders and now they made him stand amongst the traitors and villains on the ground? He despised them now almost as much as he did Eybron, perhaps more.
“We Elders have agreed that while you twenty five under Eybron’s service were acting under his orders, you do bear some responsibility for the crimes against our race you have committed,” proclaimed Theanol to the general agreement of the rest of the council.
“Amongst these are the kidnapping of hatchlings of other races…”
“It’s about bloody time,” said Gentry as he nodded with dignity. Cera also seemed pleased, but not as much as she was to be with Littlefoot and the rest of the gang again.
“… kidnapping fellow wingtails and imprisoning them without due cause or consent…”
Star and Glide both shifted in recognition.
“… and inflicting undue cataclysms upon our world using our precious relics without due cause or consent…”
A few of the elder wingtails shifted uncomfortably at the hypocrisy, including Aizon, but none spoke out.
“… and finally planning and carrying out murder on your fellow wingtails.”
All wingtails who were gathered knew about the night of terror that Eybron had inflicted upon the Feral Forest, including his killing of the master of the Tree of Relics many weeks before.
“For these above crimes,” continued Theanol with authority, “we sentence you into indefinite service to Aizon, to aid in his quest to unlock the past and future wonders of our race. Like our ancestors before us, we must leave something more for our children then tales of treachery and destruction.”
The navy blue wingtail smiled slightly in approval, and many others around cheered at the verdict. Many had expected the elders to be unmerciful and order decapitations, starvation streaks, or worse but thankfully their decision was more enlightened. As victims Eybron’s henchmen, many of the gang were not sure what to make of it. Some like Littlefoot and Cera felt they had gotten off lightly.
At Theanol’s urging, Eybron’s twenty five took off and left the clearing, rejoining their families in the trees and leaving only Sky and Glide left to stand judgement.
“If they give you the death sentence,” whispered Glide hardly, “then fly away as fast as you can… I will guard you.”
Sky’s heart jumped a bit at the mention of such a horrible fate, but he answered back.
“Why are you helping me?”
The black wingtail scowled.
“Because it would mean my sister has to raise her son on her own… something I will not tolerate.”
Sky nodded slightly. It made sense.
“Glide, son of Allisan please step forward,” declared Cinceel with a hint of distain.
The black wingtail obeyed, but reluctantly.
“Well…” began Theanol with a bit of enthusiasm, “you are of great interest to us Glide. You might be asking yourself why you are here today in the place of those who have dishonoured their race, but you need not raise your feathers. You are here not to be punished, but to be rewarded.”
There was an uproar of cheering from the wingtails present in the trees, and even a few land walkers too. Ruby was happy, and Gentry and Thylo were too. He might not be a nice wingtail by words, but actions meant more then that and to that entire side of the gang he was nothing short of a hero. For once, the black wingtail genuinely smiled… he hadn’t been expecting this at all.
“The others and I did not take long to decide that your conduct has been nothing short of exemplary, and your zeal and dedication to our creed and to your entire race is a model to all the young wingtails present today. You are one of our kind’s greatest ambassadors to the other races, and your exploits contributed to the healing of the rift between our previous enemies.”
Aizon left his perch on the Sonicron and flew down to where Glide was standing in disbelief. Soon the navy blue wingtail was before him.
“On behalf of my compatriots in the Elder’s Council,” stated Aizon, “I offer you the position of Master of the Tree of Relics. Do you accept?”
“Yes,” answered Glide sternly but with a hint of excitement, “I guess we are even.”
Cinceel shifted uncomfortably at the comment. She alone out of all the elders had wanted him punished, but the weight of the other seven and Aizon forced her to concede. Unfortunately their ëencounter’ where he almost killed her was pushed under a rock for now.
Aizon flew back up to his original position, and Glide took off too joining his sister in the trees above. A smirk of accomplishment adorned his face. Maybe he would just let Sky get killed… he could be a much better father then him anyway. No, he had to keep his word. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.
“Sky, step forward,” uttered Cinceel loudly with anticipation. She was looking at him like a freshly caught fish – this was her playtime.
Sky swallowed with nervousness. This was it.
By the general emotion of the crowds of dinosaurs watching the trial, things just kicked up a notch. There was complete silence as every one of them – both wingtail and land walker – watched Sky take a small step towards the elders.
The rumours, gossip, and outright lies surrounding Sky had created a bit of a legend in the Feral Forest surrounding him. Winglings were told not to go out at night, lest Sky capture them and take them away. More seriously however the adults believed him to be a villain of the worst kind. Some said he was responsible for the great winds that blew down trees, and others said he had long fanged teeth for devouring other creatures whole. To see him now, in person, was almost beyond belief.
It was Theanol who broke the silence.
“Do you still possess the Occular?”
Nervously, Sky nodded. Reaching into his wing, he removed the eyeglass and placed it on a rock near his feet. Theanol bowed his head slightly in approval.
“You are indeed one of the most interesting wingtails of our time. Stories of you, both truth and lies, have been circulating here in the forest for almost two generations. We in the past have forgotten you, accused you, and condemned you. Today, we will set things straight as they should be. We the Council of Elders were unable to decide your fate in conference. Some called for your demise… others called for your vindication…”
It was clear that Cinceel had been the former, and Sturgeon the latter.
“So we now give you a chance to speak. Tell us your story and omit no details, for your fate will surely depend upon it.”
Folding his wings neatly, Sky rotated around on his feet to get an impression of the type of crowd he was going to be talking to. Everyone seemed highly attentive, except Thylo who looked kind of bored. With a slight smile, the blue wingtail began his story.
“It all begins with another wingtail,” insisted Sky as he turned to face the love of his life waiting for him up in the trees, “the only star in my sky.”
…
The blue wingtail told them everything from the moment his quest began, his many months of searching for the Eye of the World, and eventually him finding it. Placing the Occular on the dais, and discovering the reason why Benzon abandoned it so long ago. Aizon nodded slightly with agreement, as if he had known all along. Sky carried on to explain that the reason he did not come back home was that he felt that it was too dangerous, so he planted some vines in hopes they would grow up to hide it. He skilfully omitted his dealings with the sharpteeth from the tale, seeing that it wasn’t entirely important.
Continuing, Sky talked about moving from place to place and meeting those of many different races. Eventually he reached the Great Valley, where he made all the friends present before them today.
“So you are telling us that the group of land walker guests before us today have travelled this far on your account?” questioned a male elder from the circle.
“Yes,” answered Sky without hesitation or shame.
“Is this true?” asked Theanol with curiosity as he turned towards the entire gang.
“Of course,” insisted Littlefoot.
“I guess…” added Cera half heartedly, earning a dirty look from Ali.
“Sky is one of our best friends… he is,” contributed Ducky enthusiastically.
“Very well,” commented Theanol with a wave of his hand, “…continue please.”
The blue wingtail then spoke of their travels, and how they became split up to due ëracial disagreements’. It was a concept that pretty much all the wingtails and runners knew very well. Continuing, Sky touched upon pretty much every part of their journey from being hounded by Tyron’s sharpteeth to getting caught in a volcanic eruption. Eventually he reached the part about facing off against Eybron and defeating him in a fight over the Eye of the World.
“So you are directly responsible for Eybron’s death?” shot Cinceel out of turn, interrupting the story.
“Yes,” admitted Sky, “I killed him but-”
“You see?” pushed Cinceel towards Theanol, “he is a murderer as well as a thief and a liar.”
“From what I have heard today Cinceel,” answered Sturgeon, “I see nothing but truth in his words… and I also believe that Eybron deserved every bit of what happened to him.”
“How dare you speak of him that way?” screeched Cinceel, “he was nothing less then a hero who desired the destruction of our sharptooth enemies. I might have gone along with you condemning his servants, but I’ll be having none of this!”
“Eybron was a monster,” shouted Sturgeon back, “and you set him loose!”
“Enough!” called out Theanol with anger.
It was enough to silence both the council and the crowd. In the void of silence that filled the clearing, a lone scarlet wingtail glided down to join her companion on the ground.
“I did it!” insisted Star so that everyone could hear her, “…I killed Eybron.”
It was enough to gather cries of shock and surprise from the crowd. Even the Council of Elders balked for a moment… they hadn’t been expecting this.
“What are you doing girl?” questioned Sturgeon, but it was too late.
“He tried to mate with me against my will. Sky tried to stop him but it was not enough… I burned him to death with the Eye… his own creation.”
“What?” uttered Cinceel, “what conspiracy is this… she’s trying to cover up for his crimes, can’t you all see that?”
“I can see that there is a lot more to this story then meets the eye Cinceel,” replied Theanol, rocking on his feet a little bit in thought, “…Aizon what do you make of this?”
The navy blue wingtail looked down upon the scene below, furrowing his tiny beard with curiosity. After a moment he answered.
“It is definitely possible,” Aizon concluded, “though I doubt it is a very nice way to die.”
“Assuming it did occur though,” pressed the elder green wingtail, “would have us condemn Sky of murder on this account?”
There were a few gasps in the crowd. They hadn’t expected the question to come up so forwardly and naturally there were supporters on both sides.
“Given the circumstances and the high amount of doubt surrounding whether our defendant actually committed the deed and if it was entirely warranted, I would say no.”
Once again, there was an uproar from all present with many shouting vicious attacks, words of relief, or other random bouts.
“Order!” insisted Theanol with a tinge of annoyance.
“I agree fully with Aizon,” Sturgeon felt the need to add.
Cinceel made a show of growling her disagreement at Sturgeon, but Theanol had already made his decision.
“Very well,” declared Theanol, “then it is my decision that Sky will not be held to account regarding his actions against Eybron by our Council.”
The green wingtail waited calmly this time for order to restore itself amongst those gathered. Given the high amount of emotion in the air today, it was wise to show patience.
“Which leads us to one of the important periods of the deliberation,” continued Theanol, “…have you Sky had any dealings with sharpteeth in the service of Tyron?”
Sky shuttered a little bit. He had been expecting to avoid the topic entirely, but now it all came down to this. The blue wingtail thought of his son, and all of his friends. It was true, he had done it… but as a wise wingtail had once told him: It is okay to lie when it benefits those being lied to. He made his decision.
“No.”
“Lair!” shouted Cinceel, “how dare you insult your elders and your race with-”
“That’s enough Cinceel!” shot back Theanol, with enough force to shut her up.
The green wingtail spread his wings, as if it was time for the final judgement. Everyone present was paying attention now, and all the elders hushed into complete silence.
“It is clear to me that there is a lot more to this story that what has been told, and indeed it is foolhardy for us as the eldest of the wingtails to attempt to make a decision based on our own deliberations and the evidence – or lack thereof – given here today. But, it is not the wingtail way to delay matters of such importance, so in accordance with our laws the decision of what to do with you Sky is mine and mine alone.”
Theanol looked from side to side at his fellow compatriots in the Council of Elders. On the left side were Aizon, Sturgeon, and a few others who were more moderate and on the right side were Cinceel and the hardliners that still saw the correct path in Eybron’s ways and would see Sky removed entirely. He would need to make a decision that appeased them both. He had to consider guests here as well… some of which held great respect for Sky and may turn violent if the sentence was too harsh.
“Sky… it is my decision that while your guilt cannot be proven in matters of collaboration with our enemies and betrayal of your race, your reluctance to return to the Feral Forest with one of our most precious artifacts despite being commanded to do so is an affront to our authority and must be punished.”
The green wingtail paused for a moment, not just for effect, but to refine the idea he had in mind appropriately.
“For this crime, I hereby sentence you to banishment from the Feral Forest for ten seasons, beginning at the moment the Great Circle disappears below the horizon.”
Theanol barely had time to finish before the entire clearing exploded. Some were enraged that he had dodged death, others were overjoyed that the Elders had gone back on their earlier proclamations. Overall the feelings were mixed, but none were as happy as Sky. As Star hugged him tightly and cried tears of relief, he celebrated inside that at sometime in the future, he would see his son again.
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Ohmygoooood! It's the last chapter! :wow Most awesome birthday present ever! :smile
And again, I love reading a new chapter from you~ :wub I practically had the scene, when Sky started to speak in the trial, in my head. :D It's a great idea to summarize and retell the whole story again at the end to freshen up our memory a little. :idea
I can't help it but feel excited and yet very sad at the same time now that FAH has come to an end. :o
Only the epilouge is left and Far Away Home is officially over~ :cry
Oh yeah, I haven't forgotten to draw you that one scene with Eybron and Sky. I'm trying to work on it. :yes
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Surprise! A review from Pangaea within a month of the new chapter’s post date! :rolleyes Sorry I didn’t comment on either of your last two posts in this thread, Caustizer, and that your star day card still isn’t finished :bang (I had hoped to give it to you sooner as a show of support for the story, but alas, you can find time to write a 4,400-word chapter faster than I can scribble one crummy picture :rolleyes). Anyway, I’m sorry it still took me over a week to post this. :(
Wow…I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this, but Chomper’s farewell scene might just be the biggest tearjerker of the whole story. :o His parting words to Littlefoot were the saddest of all. :cry I’m surprised Littlefoot didn’t question why he left so suddenly. (Ruby seemed to understand, at least.)
I’ll admit I was disappointed that we didn’t get to see the gang reunite with Cera, or Cera and Ruby with Sky (or have they not yet had a chance to actually meet Sky face-to-face again?). It’s also too bad we didn’t get to see the former meet Gentry and Thylo for the first time, though I understand some details have to be sacrificed in order for the story to flow properly.
I can’t believe so many of the elders still can’t see the truth about Eybron. <_< I’m glad (and a little surprised), however, that they rewarded Glide for his actions. He’ll be happy with a career guarding an entire tree full of shiny objects. :lol I was also a bit surprised that Sky had such an elated reaction when the elders pronounced his sentence. I suppose it makes sense when you consider that death and permanent banishment were among the possible alternatives, and Star will at least be able to take Cloud to visit him, right?
Just a few spelling errors I caught that I perceived as significant enough to recommend fixing:
Chomper stood on the edge of the prepuce, looking out towards the lands beyond in the west.
Should be “precipice”.
The blue wingtail then spoke of their travels, and how they became split up to due ëracial disagreements’.
Should be “due to.”
“Lair!” shouted Cinceel, “how dare you insult your elders and your race with-”
Should be “Liar”.
Well, the gang has a long journey home ahead of them to get home, and I’m wondering how that and all of the remaining loose ends are going to fit in there. It occurs to me that Tyron’s empire is still at large, and must still be blackmailing leafeater communities into volunteering members to feed the sharpteeth. I know that Littlefoot will have to make contact with Bron again at some point, or he’ll never be inspired to name his son after the Forgotten Forest’s first sacrifical martyr. I’m also wondering what happened to Thud, and what Thylo and Gentry will do now that they’re free. Anyway, I can't wait for the epilogue (though at the same time, it'll be sad to see this story end. :neutral)
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Thank you both for your timely reviews! I have started writing the Epilogue tonight, and how long it will take I cannot say... it really depends on how complete of an ending you guys want :angel
Before I post it though, I look forward to seeing a sketch from Sky of a now almost six month old request :smile
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I thought I had posted before, but my wireless must've gone out. The city is building a highway next to my neighborhood and is therefore rewiring all the electrical lines, and consequently our Internet has kept going out because of that and really nasty weather lately :bang.
Anyhoo, it looks like Pangaea's post beat mine and gives me nothing further to say. Though, I must add I was a bit disappointed in the Gang's reunion, especially Littlefoot and Cera. I would've at least expected those two to apologize and make up, since much has happened since they last time they were together. Other than that, I have nothing but good things and what has already been posted to say about this latest chapter :yes.
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I feel obligated to provide an update on the status of the Epilogue and Far Away Home in general, given that I have surpassed my usual time frame of 2 months between each installment.
I am still working on the structure, and deciding what parts I want to include and to omit. The most challenging prospect for me is going and searching through the entire story again and making notes of all the loose plot ends, so I can ensure I wrap them all up properly.
I must ask all you who are faithfully awaiting the next installment for a bit more of your patience, as this is a process that I have to do on top of an oppressive workload at University. :angel
Caustizer
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That's one of the hardest things when you are writing your story a chapter at a time and on the fly. It's very easy to lose track of plot threads that you promised yourself you'd tie up later. It's a bug busting process that takes time so I wouldn't stress it too much. I'm still trying to catch up on all the fanfic stuff I've missed lately. Including carrying on with your fanfic here. At least you've been working to something equating a deadline (updating every 2 months). I should be taking a leaf outta your book (no pun intended!) :p
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Well, it is the finale after all. :) Like Littlefoot1616 said, the final part is probably the hardest to write.
You know me~ I can't wait to read the grand finale~! :D
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Here it is the final part of Far Away Home.
I hope you've enjoyed the ride for the past 3 years, because it's now officially done :)
Thank you for supporting me and continuing to review it even when my schedule which often took me away from the story for 2-3 months at a time dragged on and interest waned.
Far Away Home Epilogue
“Is that it?” commented Xavier with enthusiasm, clearly wrapped on Sky’s every word.
“For tonight at least,” returned a much older Sky with a yawn.
“..but there’s so much you haven’t told us yet. Are you still banished from the Feral Forest? Did you ever see Chomper again?”
The older Littlefoot rises to his feet with some effort, the dim light from the glowing cracks reflecting off his tough hide.
“That was the last time we saw him,” commented Littlefoot, “and for all our sakes I am thankful it was the last.”
“But dad he didn’t seem like he was that bad, was he?” replied Xavier
“You’re forgetting that he’s still a sharptooth, and if what mom says is true that’s means he’s always dangerous,” adds Wayne.
“And who’s to say he hasn’t developed a taste for… longneck flesh!” exclaimed the fourwing Landar, as if trying to scare them all.
It didn’t really work that well.
“What do you think Cloud?” insisted Kala the spiketail, leaning in the wingtail’s direction as if expecting a good answer.
“I…umm… don’t know,” answers Cloud reluctantly.
The young wingtail looked out of his element and uncomfortable in amongst the group, since he didn’t really know any of them at all.
“I think that’s enough questions for one night children,” finishes Littlefoot with authority, “Xavier, come with me.”
The younger longneck looks crestfallen at the news, but follows his father obediently. Taking the lead, the other children depart in their own orderly fashion. Kala and Aura hobble away towards the river where their two families are staying, Wayne goes towards the hill where his mother built her nest, and Nincea flies off towards her father Petrie’s roost near the mountains. In the end only Sky, Cloud, and Landar are left.
“Pff, if my parents want me back bad enough I’m sure they’ll come calling,” declares Landar defiantly before talking at Cloud, “… you don’t say too much do you wingtail?”
“We’re not supposed to talk to other fliers where I come from,” answers Cloud truthfully, earning an uncomfortable look from his father.
“My class is finished for tonight Landar,” insists Sky wisely, “if I see your mother I’ll be sure to let her know you are lingering here way past your bedtime.”
“Eeep… please don’t! I’ll go back, I promise,” replies Landar with a hint of fear.
Clawing his way to the top of a nearby tree, the fourwing hops off and sets about gliding his way back home to his parents Syndra and Guido.
“You seem nervous, is something bothering you Cloud?” asks Sky casually as he stands next to his son.
“It’s just so strange here… it’s nothing like the Feral Forest.”
“Indeed, the Great Valley is a place where numerous races get along as best as they can. Give it some time, and you might find you’ll make some new friends.”
“Okay,” agrees Cloud, bowing to his father’s wisdom.
Sky reaches out with his hand and rustles Clouds frill, causing the young wingtail to snort and duck away in annoyance. With a smile and a light nod Sky turns and spreads his wings, beckoning for his son to join him.
“Come on featherball, it’s time I showed you your new home.”
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“But where will you go from here Sky?” insists Star with a hint of fear, “I know you can take care of yourself pretty well on your own but… I want to know where to find you when the time comes.”
Sky nods with agreement. They had worked out a plan together that once Cloud was old enough to fly on his own, he would go to meet his father beyond the forest’s edges. The biggest complication was where he could be found once the young wingtail was ready.
“You will find me in a place known as the Great Valley… beyond the Farwalker Gorge, and the mountains afterward. I will wait for him.”
Star reaches out around Sky with her free wing and hugs him, pressing the side of her face against his.
“It will be hard for him, growing up without a father,” she comments softly.
“My greatest regret,” answers Sky with absolute truth.
Inside the folds of her other wing, the baby wingtail Cloud sleeps softly. It is getting late, and being a newborn he spent more of his time asleep then awake. Not wishing to disturb him, Sky looks down and smiles.
“See ya later, featherball.”
Nuzzling Star one last time before his departure, Sky turns and swoops out of the family tree to begin the long term of his banishment.
…
Facing the sharp urgency of his requirement to leave before the Great Circle sets, Sky picks up the pace as he soars on the light winds above the Feral Forest. After flying for no more then a minute a dark shape swoops down from above, startling him.
“You should be more aware of your surroundings,” suggests Glide with a bit of impatience, “given what has just transpired, I wouldn’t be surprised if every wingtail and his brother tries to take you down.”
“Yes, that is certainly a possibility,” answers Sky, “but I’m sure they know they’re dealing with you if that happens.”
Glide sneers.
“For your sake you had better not be lying to my sister,” the black wingtail snarls, “when the time comes that the youngling is ready for the journey I don’t want to have to hunt you down.”
“You need not worry Glide, rest assured I’m looking forward to the day as much as I know you are.”
The two wingtails bank, heading towards the southern edge of the forest. Littlefoot and the other landwalkers were supposed to be there waiting for him so they could begin the trip back home. Sky was immensely proud of them. Not only had they survived the long journey, but they had thrived in it. He was particularly impressed that even after being split for so long the gang remained so firmly bonded that it was like they had never been apart. When the blue wingtail left to say goodbye to his family, they had been enthusiastically sharing stories of their perils and triumphs along the way. Sky hoped that all of the wingtails could benefit from the example of their interracial cooperation, though deep down he doubted it.
“One more thing,” adds Glide just before the two of them part ways, “here.”
Withdrawing a small object from his wing, the black wingtail flicks it towards Sky. Catching it, the blue wingtail’s expression brightens in recognition of an old friend. It is the Occular.
“You seem attached to this trinket, so I suppose it should belong to you.”
“But, why are you giving me this?”
“I don’t like keeping debts,” answers Glide with cold honesty, “consider this payment for that time by the lava flow.”
Slipping the precious heirloom into its usual place within his wing, Sky nods his appreciation for its return.
…
“And then there was this massive sharptooth, he came bursting out of nowhere and stared us both down… Chomper and me.”
Ruby was busy telling a story to the entire group, and they were all listening intently on her every word. Suddenly the fastrunner appears confused, and puts a finger to her mouth.
“… or was it Cera, Chomper and me?”
Cera thinks about it for a minute during the brief silence that follows, and then answers.
“Well I certainly remember that sharptooth thing happening to me about…oh… a dozen times or more.”
Littlefoot laughs, though his voice has certainly changed since the last time Ruby and Cera had seen him.
“Yep it certainly did,” the longneck states, “it seems like we have pretty bad luck when it comes to sharpteeth.”
“Well your luck mustn’t be that bad,” interjects Siak positively, “since you had the good fortune to run into nice ones like Chomper and me, bless his hide.”
It was around that moment that Sky made his arrival, landing just outside the circle they had formed. Visible just metres away were the edges of the Feral Forest, meaning that now the blue wingtail was technically obeying the terms of his banishment. Being this close however gave the wingtails watching him from the trees some discontent, and were it not for all the friends he had willing to protect him Sky would have been in some amount of danger.
“Welcome back Sky… did everything go alright?” asks Littlefoot warmly.
“It did indeed,” answers the blue wingtail, “are we all ready to go home?”
Almost the entire group pipes up in agreement.
“I would like to see the Great Valley again, I would,” comments Ducky.
“As much as I can’t stand my kin and all, I suppose I’ve grown to miss them a bit,” adds Gentry.
“I wonder if my herd is still there…” muses Ali, but it goes for the most part unheard.
“So, you’re that wingtail everybody’s been talking about,” interrupts Siak, “…Sky is it?”
The spikemouth sizes up the blue wingtail, as if trying to find something remarkable about him besides his colour.
“Yes, I know others of my kind certainly seem to enjoy talking about me.”
“Well you’d better not try anything funny,” answers Siak with a wag of her finger, “normal wingtails are bad enough, let alone a convicted one.”
“Perhaps I’m really the normal one,” suggests Sky in a sly manner, “and the rest of my race has some learning to do.”
“Got that right,” contributes Cera, earning a few laughs from those gathered around.
Things briefly descend into a half dozen different conversations, talking about everything from the right route to travel on the way home to what to eat next. The group was just getting organized for departure when a single solitary wingtail glided in to join them. He was navy blue, and wore a pair of volcanic glasses.
“Well it’s about time you showed up,” stated Siak, “I was beginning to think your newfound heroic place in the world was getting to your head.”
“Ever the charmer isn’t she?” replied Aizon, directing the comment towards Sky.
The blue wingtail bowed slightly.
“Teacher.”
“Former student, you appear to have dodged quite the stone,” Aizon remarks in a homely manner, “you are good at keeping your secrets… I sense that the other wingtails really didn’t know what to make of you today.”
“I tried my best to make them see the truth… our kind is blinded by their bigotry and lack of reason,” replied Sky.
“Well said,” comments Aizon with a grin, “but then again it wasn’t the whole truth… was it?”
The navy wingtail had lowered his glasses knowingly, earning a guilty look from Sky. The blue wingtail said nothing, knowing that others could be watching and listening.
“But, that is of no important matter. We must see to it that all your friends go to where they are waited for … I would guess that ëhome’ does not mean the same thing to all of them.”
Speaking up, Aizon begins to sort out the details of where each dinosaur is to go. Getting all those headed to the Great Valley was simple enough… Littlefoot, Ali, Petrie, Ducky, Spike, and Ruby all were eager to leave.
“Littlefoot is it?” asks the navy wingtail politely.
“Yeah… I didn’t know you were Sky’s teacher,” answers the longneck thoughtfully.
“There are many things about him that even I don’t know, but I do know this… I would highly recommend that you make a slight detour and stop in the Forgotten Forest on your way home.”
“Why?” inquires Littlefoot.
“I encountered someone there in my travels whom it would be highly beneficial for you to meet.”
Aizon winked, before moving on to the next order of business.
“Eggstealer, where do you call home?”
“I’m surprised anyone bothered to ask, I am,” replies Gentry, “I came from a place by the sea called the Dawn Valley. Bit of a walk I would think.”
Aizon nodded, before turning towards Siak.
“I have a task for you my friend… there is one in need of your guidance.”
Siak looks shocked.
“What? You don’t expect me to… oh fine I’ll take him. It’s not like I have any better places to go.”
The navy wingtail smiles and nods, implying she has done the right thing.
“And that leaves one more.”
Aizon walks towards Thylo, who is standing all alone but otherwise appears happy.
“Where is your home Spiketail?”
“Oh I came all the way from the Verdant Valley. It’s been really fun and I’ve had a great time but I think I want to go home now to see my mom and my brothers and my sisters. Maybe when I get there we can go down to the steam and-”
As the dark green spiketail rambled on, the look on Aizon’s face darkened. He beckons towards Sky for his former student to come over, and whispers something in his ear. Suddenly Sky’s expression changes to into one of sadness.
“Spiketail…” begins Sky, before Ruby corrects him on the name, “…Thylo. I… I don’t think you can go home.”
Thylo stops mid rant and looks at the wingtail curiously.
“But…why not?”
Sky sighs. The Verdant Valley was wiped out completely by the eruption of the Black Mountain so many months ago, and Thylo’s family was likely all gone.
“You can’t… we can’t.”
Littlefoot clued in to what was going on, although he didn’t know all the details.
“Maybe she can come to the Great Valley with us,” suggests the longneck, “I’m sure Spike could use the company.”
Spike gets up onto his feet and looks at Thylo curiously. Smiling, he gestures with his head for her to come over.
“Okay, maybe I’ll get to see them all later.”
Thylo walks over and joins Spike, who is a bit older and larger then she is.
With all travelling groups arranged, Aizon bids them farewell.
“May your journey be swift and uneventful,” comments the navy wingtail so everyone can hear him.
Slowly the group of dinosaurs begins to depart, beginning the long journey home. At last, only Aizon and Sky are remaining.
“Thank you for speaking in my favour at the trial,” says Sky in gratitude, “I know I’ve done some things that weren’t for the best, but my mate and especially my son deserve the chance for us to meet again.”
“Hmm, I’m sure that whatever you did or did not do you had a good reason for doing it,” answers Aizon, “it is one of your good qualities.”
Sky turns towards his old mentor.
“What about Eybron’s wingtails, what are you planning to do with them?”
Aizon smiles a little bit, and rubs his small goatee in thought.
“There are rumours that another artefact of my fathers was built in a place called Blacksun Crater, and I or rather we intend to investigate it.”
“Are you sure you can handle them?” asks Sky with concern.
“What else is there for them to do? The Sonicron will be destroyed of course in time, so they would be without their duty.”
Sky nods with understanding.
“Your mother would be proud of you, you know,” states Aizon suddenly with warmth.
Remembering her, Sky drops his head. It had been such a long time since her death the memory had almost faded in picture, but he did remember her love.
“I know… and my father too I hope.”
Spreading his wings, Aizon takes off into the air and circles overhead.
“He still is.”
It takes a moment for the impact of the statement to set in, and when it does Sky looks up in surprise. What did his old mentor mean ëhe still is’? Could his father still be alive somewhere? Before the blue wingtail could inquire further, Aizon was gone.
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<THE END>
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A number of scenes occur both during and after the end ëcredits’. They are the following:
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Snarling ravenously, Chomper makes his first kill. He snaps the neck of the poor domehead before she even knows what’s got her. It was the most respectful way.
A number of fastbiters – King Tyrus’ minions – try to partake in his kill but with a roar and snapping of his teeth he wards them away. All but one that is.
Thudd strides up to the kill with pride, and Chomper lets him pass. Watching jealously, the other biters can only observe as he takes his fill.
Being friends with a sharptooth does have its advantages after all…
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Siak and a much older Gentry are shown wandering through the Dawn Valley. Suddenly, the eggstealer encounters his siblings whom have all started families of their own. With joy they welcome him home, though unfortunately none of them offer him anything to eat.
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Thylo and Spike are eating from the same bush in the Great Valley, and both are adults. The former is rambling on and on about anything and everything, while the latter is simply nodding with agreement every time she completes a sentence. They soon devour the entire plant, touching noses as they finish off the last of the leaves. Thylo looks at Spike, and he looks back at her with lust. Soon, love blossoms between them.
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Littlefoot returns to the Forgotten Forest, just like Aizon told him to, and to his supreme shock and amazement his father is there waiting for him. The two have a joyous reunion, and over the course of a week share stories with each other about everything that has happened to them up to this point. Shorty and Littlefoot make amends, although there was little for them to amend for. His brother has a new girlfriend, and he’s madly in love with her.
Before long Littlefoot gets caught up in the romantic spirit too with Ali and, lying together in the cool grass and away from everyone else, they mate for the first time.
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Retiring from telling stories to the children for the night in the Great Valley, Ruby takes a long and thorough bath in the river before returning to tree she likes to sleep under. It is a night like any other, though hearing all about the past makes her miss it a little bit. She had never had an overwhelming need to find a companion, but with Swiftwalker there may have been something there.
She curls up to go to sleep, but before she can close her eyes the sound of footsteps reaches her ears.
“Hey, who’s there? Who is it?”
A figure emerges from the shadows and into the light. Beneath the half-light of the Night Circle the outline of a runner so familiar to her emerges. Ruby can’t believe it… she must be dreaming.
“… Swifty?”
The fast runner has grown up considerably, and he is almost unrecognizable. His normally muddy feathers are almost completely clean, revealing his natural light blue underneath. Hearing the sounds of her voice, he looks just as surprised to behold her as well.
“Swifty, how is this… how did you get here?”
“Come long way looking for you, forget to say goodbye.”
It likely wasn’t the real reason he had come this far, but Ruby didn’t care… she was too busy admiring his form. The muscular development he had brought on by such a long and hard journey aroused an unfamiliar emotion in her. She could feel it boiling up inside her – attraction.
“Threehorn say I find you here.”
Ruby smiles, and puts out her hands. Gingerly, he does as well. She didn’t realize just how much she missed him. In the long moment where their eyes met and stayed locked, Swiftwalker finally gets the courage to say what he had really come all this way to say.
“You… look for mate?”
He didn’t need to ask.
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Naaww... it saddens me quite a bit now that it's finally over. :cry But more excited I get for the sequel "Into Blacksun" you were planning. :DD Has it been really 3 years? Man, time flies so fast~
Oh god! I can exactly picture the "credits" and the scene with Ruby after it right now! (wish I could animate that) :lol
So, I guess Aizon is Sky's father, right? Hmm... I always had that feeling that these two had a connection somehow. :p
Anyways, it was a great read (as always) that it kept me excited in every sentence. :) I got a huge boost of motivation out of this little chapter! :D I... I think I'll re-read again just because it is THAT awesome! :lol:
You really have great talent in writing epic and wonderful stories my friend. :yes
Congratulations on finishing the story~! :celebrate
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Well, I've finally read the epilogue, and now I can say that I've finished reading Far Away Home. :)
I hope you'll excuse the brevity of this review, Caustizer. I didn't have a lot of time to write it as I need to prepare for a trip out of town tomorrow, but I felt that I shouldn't put it off another day, especially since I may not have much time for the GOF even after I return home on Monday.
I'm a bit disappointed that we didn't get to see the gang's return to the Great Valley (or, at least, hear it summarized in the credits), and I'm still unclear on what exactly happens to Tyron and his empire (At this point I'm assuming that Macaw was telling Tyrus the truth about his father being ill, and that Tyron soon died and, under Tyrus's rule, the sharpteeth went back to hunting for food instead of extorting it). Other than that, though, I thought you did an impressive job of concluding all the subplots and unanswered questions left over from the last chapter.
I didn't spot any significant errors in the chapter (though then again I'm a little incoherent right now; I can try looking again later if you like), but I noticed that the narrative switches between past and present tense repeatedly throughout the chapter. The present tense works for the "credits" scenes, but for the first part of the epilogue it is completely at odds with your style for the rest of the story.
So Thylo becomes Spike's mate. I knew it! :p
Now, Sky and Aizon…the interpretation that Aizon is Sky's father did cross my mind, but I'm a little skeptical, considering Aizon just revealed himself as Sky's mentor; it seems a little too "convenient" that he'd be his father as well. (I'm sorry, my memory is too foggy; I can't even remember what supposedly happened to Sky's parents. :oops)
It's a shame that the Sonicron will have to be destroyed, but I guess the wingtails don't want it being used to cause any more superdestructive earthshakes.
That was a surprising gesture on Glide's part, giving Sky the Occular. Not only is it impressive that he's willingly parting with a shiny artifact (one that he was originally specifically tasked with retrieving, no less), but I'm guessing he'd get in trouble if the wingtail Elders found out… :unsure:
And now I understand why Cloud is only now coming to the Great Valley. He was too young to travel when Sky was first banished, and Star had to remain behind to take care of him (Is she still in the Feral Forest? If yes, why didn't she come to the valley with Cloud and Glide?), and evidently it takes a long time to get from one place to the other.
And now, Caustizer, I have something for you that I promised you months ago, and at this point I can't think of a better place to put it than here. I feel absolutely terrible for taking so ridiculously long to finish it, and I hope you will enjoy it regardless.
(http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss2/Pangaean/Artwork/Cards/Caustizers22ndStarDayCard.jpg)
Fantastic story, Caustizer. Thank you very much. :)
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That's an excellent card Pangaea! Thank you for coming through and making it, though now I'm almost 23 :lol.
I like the burned letters detail you put in, as well as adding Eybron to the picture getting his tail set on fire.
I hope that you will still be around to review 'Into Blacksun' once I decide to start writing it.
Caustizer
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Well Caustizer that was a nice long ride. I enjoyed reading the story and liked it very much. Man I really wish it wasn't over, but all good things must come to an end sooner or later. I had that same feeling when I finished my fan-fic after two and half months of writing it. Whenever you do write "Into Blacksun" I'll be around to read it too. :)
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That's an excellent card Pangaea! Thank you for coming through and making it, though now I'm almost 23 :lol.
You're very welcome, my friend. :) Glad you like it. Sorry again that you had to be closer to your 23rd birthday than your 22nd by the time I finished it. :oops
I like the burned letters detail you put in, as well as adding Eybron to the picture getting his tail set on fire.
Thanks. Yeah, I'm pretty happy with how those letters turned out; both the ones that are currently ablaze and the ones that by now are just smoldering. I really had no idea how to color the "happy" and "star day" parts, so I just ended up giving them the colors of the story's characters. Sorry if it doesn't look too good. :unsure:
I hope I didn't completely mangle the design of the Eye of the World. It was the best I could do based on the descriptions in the fic. I deliberately out some detailsóthe number of lenses, the rods supporting the lenses, and the ledge at the back the wingtail manipulating the Eye stands onóbecause I couldn't properly envision them and/or figure out a way to draw them that didn't make the entire Eye look like a complete piece of crap. Also, although I didn't remember if it was ever described, I assumed that there was some sort of hinge or other mechanism that allowed the user to adjust the angle of the Eye.
And, of course, I couldn't resist sticking Eybron in there getting his tail toasted by his own superweapon. :lol
I hope that you will still be around to review 'Into Blacksun' once I decide to start writing it.
Don't worry, I haven't left the GOF; I'm just not as active anymore, and don't visit much these days. :oops As you probably know, I'm experiencing something of a low point in my life right now, but hopefully when you start posting your next story I'll have mustered enough vigor to start reviewing again.
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Hello again!
It's been a long time since I wrote this story - almost six years in fact. I've decided with the anniversary of the day I began writing approaching I'm going to do something to commemorate this special story and thank the loyal readers and reviewers who gave me the inspiration to complete it.
Sometime in the next two weeks, I'm going to:
1) Refresh the Images on the main page, since many of the links are since broken
2) Post scans of my Original Notes for Far Away Home that I used in 2009 and 2010 to write the story. You'll note that the end story is quite different then the one I was crafting when I started, including some big surprises!
3) Post the plot synopsis for the never-written sequel to Far Away Home, called Into Blacksun.
Once again, I owe quite a bit to this excellent community and though my time writing for LBT has passed I still enjoy the show and frequent the forums every now and then.
:angel