The Gang of Five
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The Land Before Time: Far Away Home

Caustizer · 415 · 52602

Sky

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How dare Eybron do such a thing to Star!? D:

A short, but pretty strong introduction! Makes us want to read more!  :D
I feel sorry for Edwin though. :( Poor guy...


Pangaea

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My apologies again for being so late. :bang I feel especially bad considering the chapteróand therefore my reviewóis so short. :oops

I liked your choice of words in describing the sunrise in the very first sentence of the chapter. Was that deliberate foreshadowing? :p

So Edwin ended up being beaten to death rather than killed with the Eye? Ouch. :( Let’s hope that if Barrau ends up defying Eybron (you know the guy’s evil when his own second-in-command thinks he’s going too far), he doesn’t get thwarted so easily.

I’m really hoping that Sky and the gang can stop Eybron in time. And poor Star; I hope she survives.

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Eybron was busy watching the Great Circle rise, and like a ravenous sharptooth he was eager to be bathed in it’s rays so that his vengeance upon the Valley that * slighted him would be complete.
“It’s” should be “its” and “Valley” should be lowercase.
*Insert “had”.

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“Stuff it!” Star shouted, “I don’t want to hear anymore from you* villain.”
“Anymore” should be two words.
*Insert comma.

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Eybron hissed and rammed his hand to her face, grabbing it her flesh and causing * scarlet wingtail to screech in pain.
I’m not entirely sure what you intended to say here, but it’s a little miswritten.
*Insert “the”.

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“There is no death that you can die that could make up for what you have put me through! I could starve you, beat you, or have my way with you as I please, but none of that can make up for the agony of how you broke me heart!”
Should be “my”.



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Caustizer

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Lately I've been thinking about what I want to do for Blacksun, and how I'm going to develop the 'new gang' in a manner that is fairly recognizable when compared to their parents.

Out of the 'new gang' who do you think Cloud might get along with the best?

I can't start working on Far Away Home again until Wednesday at the earliest (exams >_<) so I hope that nobody is losing faith in my ability to finish it.

Caustizer


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Quote from: Caustizer,Apr 17 2011 on  10:00 PM
Lately I've been thinking about what I want to do for Blacksun, and how I'm going to develop the 'new gang' in a manner that is fairly recognizable when compared to their parents.

Out of the 'new gang' who do you think Cloud might get along with the best?
Hoo boy…I'm not sure. :unsure: I don't know enough about any of the “new gang”’s (including Cloud's) personalities yet. Since it seems to me that they take after their parents to a considerable extent (though I'm sure you're going to try to give them unique character traits), I'm tempted to say Xavier, based on the chemistry between Sky and Littlefoot. If Cloud is still somewhat prejudiced towards other species, though, then I wonder if he'd be more apt to bond with Landar, or even Nincea, due to feeling a kind of kinship with them. (I'd just as soon not have the roles and relationships within the “new gang” mirror those of the original too much; it would make for a fresher cast.)

That's all I can say for now. Sorry I'm not particularly creative.

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I can't start working on Far Away Home again until Wednesday at the earliest (exams >_<) so I hope that nobody is losing faith in my ability to finish it.
Don't worry. I haven't. :)



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Sky

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Hmm... I think Xavier and Nincea would be a good choice. :)
As for Landar, since he's more like his mother, I can see Cloud and him often argue. Just like Cera and Littlefoot when they were younger.   :p

And then there are Aura, Kala and Wayne. They go mostly like their parents, except that Kala can speak, unlike her father.  :lol
Quote from: Caustizer on  
I hope that nobody is losing faith in my ability to finish it.
Not even a second! ;)


joshua1127

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It's Pretty good maybe you should look at my story called Journey to a New World I think you'll like it after it's done so far Vonboy and I finished 3 chapters and I am working on chapter 4.


Caustizer

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Good news.  After about a month long hiatus I have started writing Far Away Home again, and I plan to finish the story this summer (as I said before).  Currently it looks like I am half done the full chapter, but as always I might think of something to add in and make it longer :angel

Thanks to everyone that has been following this story and being patient with me on producing the next chapter.

Caustizer


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Here is the full Part XI: Burning in the Skies (A) completed and ready to read.

Once again I had to split the chapter into 2 pieces to accomidate all that I want to, and it may even need to be done for Part XII: Sky's Trial as well.

Hope you enjoy it, since after a month and a few it is a long time coming.

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Part XI: Burning in the Skies (A)

The sky burned as the morning great circle began to rise above the horizon.  Rain was in the air, and in the distance it showed in the great arches of red light that adorned the farthest reaches of sight like a running line of blood.  Yet there was also a strange stillness, like the day itself was holding its breath for what was to come.  There was not so much as a peep in the air, as all the flyers had left… all except for Eybron’s Wingtails which had taken pleasure in chasing them off.

In the elevated clearing where the Eye of the World lay, a white wingtail sat alone like a solitary sentinel.  Eybron was busy watching the Great Circle rise, and like a ravenous sharptooth he was eager to be bathed in it’s rays so that his vengeance upon the Valley that slighted him would be complete.  First however, there was a more important matter to be dealt with.

Star was being held face-down on the ground nearby, flanked by two different wingtails who were notably less kind in their treatment of the returning captive.  Her previous guard had failed in his duty to keep her here and in his clutches, so naturally he had been punished accordingly.  He had only beaten Edwin until he tired of the exertion, but unfortunately it was remarkably close to the time the green wingtail had stopped breathing.  It was such a waste, having to kill one of his own kin in such a fashion… but this was war and there were no excuses for breaking ranks in Eybron’s eyes.

After about five minutes or so Barrau finally arrived, landing a safe distance away and approaching on foot.  With how events had been unfolding recently, he was clearly somewhat afraid of being too close to he white wingtail he called master.

“You’re late,” remarked Eybron coldly, a look of stern impatience on his face.

“I apologize my lord,” breathed the brown wingtail, “but I had to make sure the valley land walkers were for sure not going to be uniting against us…”

“…And?” pushed the white wingtail insensitively.

“They are not convinced of Sky’s intentions… it appears they will not be bothering us.”

Eybron snarled softly at the mention of the blue wingtail, prompting Barrau to take a step backwards.

“Good,” replied the white wingtail, “they wallow in ignorance like a water swimmer plucked from the sea… all the better for my little show this morning.”

“Pardon,” interrupted Barrau timidly, “…but you are planning a show?”

“Of course,” confirmed Eybron with a slight grin, “We’ll all get to laugh as their little paradise burns to ashes around them.  All too fitting an end for such brainless beasts for meddling in our affairs.”

Barrau looked really uncomfortable at the prospect.  These leaf eaters had nothing to do with the sharpteeth that attacked the Feral Forest… why did they need to be destroyed?

“…But first,” continued Eybron as he turned to face his female captor, “I believe there is one unappreciative of my company that needs to be addressed.  Pick her up… bring her to me.”

The two guards obeyed, and lifted Star off the ground.  Eybron jumped into the air and glided down to stand right in front of the scarlet wingtail.  She looked up to face him, and there was a glint of pure hate in those eyes reminiscent of her black brother’s.  Adding in the dirt, cuts, and dried blood in some places, Eybron could clearly see the family resemblance.

“I don’t know what I am to do with you my dear,” commented the white wingtail, “your wings are like a soft morning breeze and your eyes are like pools of cool water… yet at the same time your mind is full of revulsion of me and obsession with your former lover… choices, choices.”

Star didn’t answer, but what she wanted to say was pretty clear in her facial expression.  Eybron continued.

“I think I can see it now… there was never any chance for us was there?  I was the persistent fool who has chased you to the ends of the world and brought you back each time, and yet through your lies and deceit you have taught me a valuable lesson…”

“Stuff it!” Star shouted, “I don’t want to hear anymore from you villain.”

Eybron hissed and rammed his hand to her face, grabbing it her flesh and causing scarlet wingtail to screech in pain.  He pushed his grip, forcing her to shut her mouth and struggle just to breathe.

“There is no death that you can die that could make up for what you have put me through!  I could starve you, beat you, or have my way with you as I please, but none of that can make up for the agony of how you broke me heart!”

The white wingtail softened his grip slightly, and he rubbed her face with a small measure of affection as she caught her breath.

“You see… I have no one,” continued Eybron with a touch of pity, “our mother left us, my sister was killed before she even hatched, and my father rejected me as a one would old droppings, and the cursed flyers who raised me cast me out when I grew twice their size…”

Eybron let her go.

“There is no more space left in me for remorse – or pity – because you took it from me! All that is left now for me is my vengeance, and I know just where to start.  These land walkers will be the first to suffer as incinerate their home, and then you and I will have a little session with the Eye, during which suffice to say it’s going to be a hot experience.”

Star dawned a look of fright.  He was going to burn her alive!

“Just wait until Sky gets here with all the others…you might get me but you’ll never get away with this murder and savagery!”

Eybron smiled smugly, like there was something awful and twisted in his mind he was eager to share.  She didn’t want to know what it was.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” the white wingtail stated, before leaning forward and whispering in her ear, “…after I’m done with you, the Feral Forest will go up in flames as well… after all any wingtail who won’t join me deserves nothing less.”

Star hissed with anger, and spat right in Eybron’s face.  The white wingtail wasn’t going to take any of that, and he backhanded her hard sending the scarlet wingtail tumbling to the ground.

“Take those vines and tie her to that rock,” Eybron ordered, “her lover should be by soon to come pick her up, and I intend to ensure he gets to view the ashes before he dies as well.”

The guards present obeyed, but Barrau didn’t look comfortable at all.  This wasn’t right… this wasn’t the wingtail way.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, but what Lord Eybron was doing here was nothing short of naked murder.  Maybe, the brown wingtail thought, he hadn’t chosen his sides wisely.

“The Great Circle has almost risen,” declared Eybron loudly, “and I intend for it to set upon burning skies.”


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Ducky was the first one to awaken as the Morning Circle crested the sky in the east, rubbing her eyes and yawning.  They had all walked a very long way the previous day, and in fact for almost two full seasons, so she didn’t bother waking her brother or Petrie up.  It was better to let them have their rest… they all deserved it.  Feeling a need to satisfy her thirst, she walked down to the river for a drink.  Sky’s regime of early to rise and early to bed had rubbed off on all of them, and combined with lots of exercise and a good amount of food when they could eat it had made them all amazingly healthy.  Ducky couldn’t really remember the last time she had a day to just sit around and do what she liked, so maybe after a quick drink she would…

The reflection in the water staring back at her wasn’t the same one she remembered at all! Quickly looking around Ducky checked to make sure there were no other swimmers near her making it instead, before turning and looking back into the water.  The journey had changed her significantly, not just in appearance but size as well.  She was now slightly taller then her brother and could no longer ride on his back, but observing the new lines on her face she could see she was starting to look like her mom.  It was kind of funny in a way… she though she would never ever grow up to be big like everyone else!

Spike groaned behind her and rolled over, the stubby spikes on his back almost impaling Petrie.  The flyer rolled away, suddenly awoken by the spiketail’s sleep movements.  Rubbing his eyes, he glanced angrily at Spike.

“Me no like when he do that… get no sleep!”

“It’s okay Petrie,” admitted Ducky with understanding, “he does that to me all the time, he does.”

Petrie had gotten bigger too, but not as much as her or Spike.  His wingspan was getting longer and he was becoming more comparable to Sky each day.  He was starting to mature mentally too, being not as jumpy as before and flying farther and farther away from the group in an effort to contribute as much as the blue wingtail did.

“I do wonder where Littlefoot is though,” continued the swimmer, “he has been gone a long time… I hope he is okay.”

“Me sure he alright… Littlefoot and Ali take good care of each other.”

Ducky smiled.  That was one other thing that she had noticed… Petrie was starting to mature in speech too.  Every now and then he would talk properly for a moment, and the swimmer didn’t want to call him on it for fear he would notice and stop doing it.

“Hey… that look like him right now,” Petrie added as he pointed behind her.

Ducky turned around, and sure enough both longnecks were coming up the river.  Littlefoot and Ali were silent as they padded along and seemed down in their demeanour.  It didn’t take much to notice that something was wrong, and the swimmer hurried towards them to make sure they were both okay.

“Hi Littlefoot,” greeted the swimmer caringly while gauging his response, “you look upset, like there’s something you do want to talk about.”

The longneck raised his head to its full height, which was larger then any of them, and smiled lightly.  While Ducky had grown and was now almost taller then Spike, it was Littlefoot that had the most impressive spurt.  Ali wasn’t much less either, though she seemed more interested in the changes effecting Littlefoot then anyone else.  Ducky guessed that the she-longneck was just like that, though the gap left by Cera leaving was very obviously unfilled in her absence.  The swimmer still thought about her and Ruby and Chomper sometimes, and hoped they were alright.  Something told her though that with Chomper’s super sniffer and Ruby’s knowledge of living in the mysterious beyond they would be just fine.

“It’s alright Ducky,” answered Littlefoot respectfully, “… its just that Sky isn’t happy at all.  Something very bad happened out there with a group of other wingtails, and it sounds like he lost someone important to him.”

Ali scoffed, disguising it as a sneeze.  She knew what was going on; that Sky had a girlfriend, and she was surprised at how little detail Littlefoot had gone into in his description of what happened on the hill.  He couldn’t be that clueless about love could he? But then again he did begin to confess to her earlier…

“Sky upset?” commented Petrie, “but we important too… are you sure it someone else?”

“Yeah,” admitted Littlefoot, “it might have been a nestling of his, or maybe one of his friends… all I know is that’s the worst I’d ever seen him and I wish I could help.”

“We won’t be waiting very long at all,” interjected Ducky as she pointed towards the sky, “…he is coming!”

Sure enough a blue avian outline was in the air, and in the space of a minute the wingtail had circled around the trees and landed in front of them with grace.  True to what Littlefoot had said, Sky didn’t do his customary loop in the air before touchdown.

“Hi Sky!” greeted Ducky, adding emphasis to sound cheerful, “we are glad to see you again.  Littlefoot says you are upset so we want to make you happy.”

“Yeah Ducky right,” added Petrie.

“I’m not upset,” replied Sky with a frown and his squeezed his fists, “just confounded by the endless stupidity of adult landwalkers.  I have never encountered such a set of races that actually lose their intellect as they get older… its like they have nothing else they want to do but eat and sleep and insist everything is alright when it’s not!”

Littlefoot smiled and nodded at Ducky as Sky finished his rant, and she nodded back.  They had had plenty of experience with adults being less than helpful, so it wasn’t entirely surprising that they had ignored the blue wingtail’s claims of danger when they couldn’t see it with their own eyes.

“But what danger is there?” questioned Ducky, “the fiery mountain is very far behind us, and it does not feel or sound like a lot of sky water…”

“Yeah Sky,” added Littlefoot as he turned to face his friend, “why were those wingtails so angry at you, and how can they start fires like you said?”

Sky turned away in shame.

“It’s a… long story.”

Littlefoot took a padded step towards the blue wingtail.

“Well we can’t help you if you don’t tell us.”

“I can’t… I don’t expect any of you to help me in this,” replied Sky, “this is not your fight… it is above and beyond anything I can ask of you.  All five of you young dinosaurs have your lives in front of you still yet to live.  On the other wing, there are many problems with mine I have been far too long in sorting out.”

Ali snorted with anger.

“We didn’t come all this way just to let you down when some bullies come and push you around.  I don’t know who that other female wingtail was, but you obviously cared very much for her and she needs our help.”

Sky sighed.

“Alright, but like I said it is a long story…”

The blue wingtail started with how he and Star met, and how her disapproving brother (“the wingtail that attacked us in the cave”) had fought him both physically and through the elders to have them separated.  He continued to explain about his quest and more specifically about the ëEye of the World’ and how he found it and planted vines around it so nobody else would.  Sky finished by explaining who Eybron was, and how he not only had Star but he also found the Eye and planned to use it to set fire to the valley.

“I still don’t understand,” commented Littlefoot after his friend was done, “how can something made of this ëglass’ set fire to a whole valley? I thought only skyfire could do that…”

“The specifics are not important,” continued Sky impatiently, “but what is important is that any minute given a moment of clear skies he could ignite an inferno wherever he pleases.  Not only that but… he has my Star.”

The blue wingtail dipped his head sadly at the last comment.

“Okay then,” commented Ali hardly as she stomped her foot, “let’s go up there and teach these flyers a lesson.”

“It’s not that simple Ali,” Sky corrected, “they outnumber us four to one.  Without the help of this valley’s denizens I’m afraid going after them now will be in vain.”

Littlefoot started sniffing the air, as if he had just identified an unknown and important odour.  The others smelt it too, and in a moment so did Sky.  It was one they knew all too well.

“Fire, Fire!” cried Petrie in fright.

“Oh no,” uttered Littlefoot.

“It’s begun already,” cried Sky in alarm, “quickly, you must all run!”

None of them moved except Petrie, who bolted off in the opposite direction, and Spike, who had slept through the whole thing.

“Why aren’t you going!?!” questioned Sky in frustration, “didn’t you hear what I just told you?”

“We aren’t running this time,” answered Littlefoot with authority, “we’ve been doing nothing but running ever since we left the Great Valley and I’m sick of it.  We are all bigger, stronger and older then we were back then and there may be trouble but this time we can do something about it!”

“Yeah,” added Ali, snorting in emphasis, “that bird-brain and his flock don’t scare us… I say we go up there and stick it to him for real this time.”

Sky didn’t know what to say.  He had tried everything in his power to dissuade them, but it was plain to see that the two longnecks weren’t going to listen at all.  The group of them had come so far that now it was their responsibility to resolve this together.

“And what do you say young swimmer?” asked the blue wingtail of Ducky, who was busy waking up her brother.

She looked around and saw all the flyers fleeing the curtain of fire just visible in the distance over the tops of the trees.  Denizens of the valley were running away to safety, some even carrying their hatchlings that looked barely born.  Turning back to Sky she tapped a finger on her mouth.

“This is not our home, it isn’t, but these others are innocent and if what you say is true then we have to do something.  Littlefoot is right… I may not feel taller but I know that I am and that this time I can help myself and the others.”

Spike was now up and he half yawned as he rose to his feet.

“…and you Spike?” continued Sky.

The spiketail pushed up against Ducky, and nodded his agreement.  Sky grinned at the approval.

“Hey… why you all not run?” blurted Petrie as he circled overhead, “Fire coming… it real close!”

The blue wingtail and the rest of the gang surveyed the advance of the fire, and soon it became clear the area of the valley affected was growing wider by the second.  It was a focused, unnatural blaze that burned with bright red fury and a wall of pure heat.  Taking note of this, Sky was the first to speak up.

“Very well then,” he uttered with sly defiance.  He had a plan.

The wingtail pushed himself into the air and circled once with Petrie, who was almost as big as he was.

“Petrie… go warn the inhabitants of this valley and guide them to safety.  Make sure they know what is causing this travesty, and try to convince them to do something about it.”

The flyer looked slightly nervous at being given such an important job, but he was older and braver now and in a wisp of air he was off in the upwind direction of the fire.

“…Littlefoot, Ali, Ducky and Spike, we have a very important and dangerous task ahead of us.  Eybron the white wingtail is smart and devious with a flock of wingtails at his command trained by our kind to deal with intruders as seen fit.  He is no easy opponent and he has not only set fire to this valley but also kidnapped my love and is doing the circle knows what to her.  We must reach the Eye of the World and stop him, and I know just the way…”

Sky swooped onwards towards the area just south of the region ravaged by fire, and the four dinosaurs hurried to catch up with him.

“We have to beat the fire to the mountains and cross around it.  It will be simple for me but speed is paramount for you four.  May the wind be at your back and the Great Circle shine on your feathers… I mean scales.”

The blue wingtail chuckled with a bit of embarrassment at the last correction.

“I will meet you all on the mountainside and aid you as best I can, but I cannot guarantee we will not be separated.  Eybron will likely send his wingtails to hunt me once he finds out we are coming.  Farewell!”

Littlefoot watched as the wingtail soared away on the air current as he ran, and he called back to the others.

“Hurry up guys!  The hills are just this way… come on!”

The two longnecks, the swimmer, and the spiketail moved as fast as their feet would carry them and pushed through the veil of smoke that was preceding the fire.  They all knew from experience how to duck close to the ground wherever possible, and they made good time just a few metres away from the curtain of advancing flames.  The question remained though whether it would be enough, and even if they made it if they could possibly defeat the powerful foe that lay before them.


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Sky

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I haven't read it yet, but I'm just letting you know, that I'll read it tomorrow and leave a comment the day after. It's been 4 days now since the last comment but I assure you that I haven't lost interest in this story. :)


Sky

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Alright, so the first part with Eybron was the same last part from the previous chapter. It's good to refresh our memory a bit. :)

Wow, the gang has grown quite a lot. Ducky is now slightly larger than her brother who has grown a bit too and Petrie is almost the same size as Sky. :o
I have to say, the chapter was quite a great read. Not that much of action involved, but I'm sure the next part will be super awesome by the sounds of it!  :wow


Pangaea

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I feel so bad for not posting here sooner! :bang

At the moment, my mind is too deep in the proverbial gutter for me to concentrate on writing a review (as has been the case for the last several days), but I promise I'll post one in this spot when I'm feeling less brain-dead.



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Caustizer

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Quote from: Pangaea,May 12 2011 on  09:56 PM
I feel so bad for not posting here sooner! :bang

At the moment, my mind is too deep in the proverbial gutter for me to concentrate on writing a review (as has been the case for the last several days), but I promise I'll post one in this spot when I'm feeling less brain-dead.
Maybe you just need a vacation.  I get that feeling too when I do the same things over and over and get sick of them.


Pangaea

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^ A vacation does sound nice, but unfortunately it’s neither convenient nor economically feasible for either my family or me on my own to go on a real vacation, and I fear I’m shirking my duties on the GOF too much as it is.

The good news is, I’m feeling clearer-headed now, so I can finally write a review. (It feels like ages since I’ve done this.)

I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed chapters with Sky’s half of the gang (has it really been five months since the last one? :blink:)

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They had all walked a very long way the previous day, and in fact for almost two full seasons, so she didn’t bother waking her brother or Petrie up.
Just wondering: does “season” in this sense refer to the passage of a full year, or an individual stage of a year, as in winter, spring, etc.?

I can’t find the original post, but I remember that a while ago I wondered aloud if Benzon had originally been the one to disguise the Eye of the World as a tree, then Sky found it, uncovered it, discovered what it did, and then disguised it again, all by himself. This chapter clears up part of the mysteryóSky did at least set up the vines that covered the Eyeóbut I’m still wondering what Benzon did to keep his creation hidden for so long.

I find it a little annoying that Spike slept through Sky’s whole backstory exposition; I would have thought that the others would have woken him up for it. <_<

Heh, looks like Sky’s finally gotten it through his head that the gang won’t let him fight his battles alone. :p Even though I’m pretty sure the group has had moments like this before (my memory for previous chapters is really, really bad now), I really liked that scene where the gang stood up to Sky when he insisted that they let him handle things himself. I just hope that (#1) they can stop Eybron before the valley is completely destroyed, and (#2) that Petrie is as good at fire escape procedures as Littlefoot was in LBT III.

And now, just a few proofreading comments:

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It was kind of funny in a way… she though she would never ever grow up to be big like everyone else!
Should be “thought”.

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It’s okay Petrie,” admitted Ducky with understanding, “he does that to me all the time, he does.”
Did you deliberately have Ducky use a contraction here (to imply that her speech pattern is changing as she matures), or is this a mistake?

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While Ducky had grown and was now almost taller then Spike, it was Littlefoot that had the most impressive spurt. Ali wasn’t much less either, though she seemed more interested in the changes effecting Littlefoot then anyone else.
The first highlighted part should be “who had had”. The second I think would be better written out as “Ali wasn’t far behind” or something similar, as the way it is written now doesn’t really make sense. Finally, “effected” should be “affected”. In addition, you described Ducky’s growth spurt and how she was now taller than Spike earlier in the chapter, so it’s a bit repetitive here.

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He continued to explain about his quest and more specifically about the ëEye of the World’ and how he * found it and planted vines around it so nobody else would. Sky finished by explaining who Eybron was, and how he not only had Star but he also found the Eye and planned to use it to set fire to the valley.
Maybe it’s just me, but the wording of the highlighted sentence feels a bit funny; it sort of comes off as “he found it and planted vines around it so nobody else would [plant vines around it]” rather than the intended “he found it and planted vines around it so nobody else would [find it]”. Adding a comma immediately after “found it” might help to emphasize that part of the sentence, but other than that I’m not really sure what to suggest.
*Insert “had”. Also, change the highlighted “he” to “had”.

Can’t wait to find out what happens next! (Hopefully I'll have the presence of mind to review right away next time.)



Pronounced "pan-JEE-uh". Spelled with three A's. Represented by a Lystrosaurus.


Caustizer

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Just wondering: does “season” in this sense refer to the passage of a full year, or an individual stage of a year, as in winter, spring, etc.?

Dinosaurs in this story (not sure how they do it in the Land Before Time as a whole) mark the passage of time in two seasons as opposed to what humans do with four.

So in this case, it has been just over a year since they left the Great Valley.

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It’s okay Petrie,” admitted Ducky with understanding, “he does that to me all the time, he does.”
Did you deliberately have Ducky use a contraction here (to imply that her speech pattern is changing as she matures), or is this a mistake?

Perhaps :angel

I'll make the required corrections as well.


Caustizer

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Coming in with an update from the Midwestern United States.

I'm currently chasing tornadoes in tornado alley and having a total blast... it seems like things are getting better and better each day with strong storms popping up everywhere.  The oppertunity came up for me to extend my stay, so I have taken it which means I will be away from the GOF for another week. Unfortunately this means little to no progress has been made on Far Away Home since I left. :(

Bear with me and be patient, because I do plan to finish the story with summer :angel.

Caustizer


Sky

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No worries, Caustizer. I'm happy you're having a wonderful time there. :^.^:
Just have a safe journey okay? :)


Mumbling

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This fanfiction has been nominated by its author to be rated for the fanfiction awards 2011. To all the readers and fans of this fanfiction, please rate and review it! :)


Pangaea

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Quote from: Caustizer,Jun 19 2011 on  12:50 PM
I'm currently chasing tornadoes in tornado alley and having a total blast... it seems like things are getting better and better each day with strong storms popping up everywhere.
Whoa, sounds awesome! :wow Stay safe around those tornadoes, though.

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The oppertunity came up for me to extend my stay, so I have taken it which means I will be away from the GOF for another week. Unfortunately this means little to no progress has been made on Far Away Home since I left. :(

Bear with me and be patient, because I do plan to finish the story with summer :angel.
I have no problem with waiting a little longer for the next Far Away Home chapter. Just make sure you're around to vote in the GOF Awards! You'll want to make sure to give your fanfiction a chance! ;)



Pronounced "pan-JEE-uh". Spelled with three A's. Represented by a Lystrosaurus.


Caustizer

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Good news.

The next part of the story will be ready by the 14th for pangaea's birthday.

i encourage all readers to review both this story and the other short one i did for sky for the fanfiction award.

caustizer. :angel


Redtooth101

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This really does deserve an award, be assured I've been reading every chapter and find this story to be truly excellent. I'm just not a good reviewer is all.

Can't wait for the next part!