The Gang of Five
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LBT: The Journey Home (PREVIEW)

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Bongo

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For some information on me, please read My Bio in the "I'm New" Section
My Bio in the "I'm New" Section

Look, I may of just joined a few days ago doesn't mean i can't write good FanFiction. I originally planned to upload this on FanFiction.net, but right now it is being a donkey to me  :p , so while I continue writing my fanfiction and waiting for FanFiction to stop being a donkey to me, I decided to give you guys a sample of the first two and a half chapters.

UPDATE 1/24/2011: I will most likely NOT use FanFiction.net anymore because I feel that posting here will make me closer to the viewer. Its like being the president. Being closer and knowing your people better will make a better relationship thus a better outcome


DISCLAIMER:
This Story you are about to read is rated PG for some violent scenes and a minor use of profanity.

KEY ISSUE SOME MAY HAVE:
 - Its a bit long for a preview, so I do NOT accept the excuse of TL;DR (Too Long;Didn't Read)
 - I have not seen a LBT sequal in YEARS, so some things may not match the sequals. If you notice a mistake, PLEASE tell me so I can fix it!
 - I am not sure if many care or not, but just as a side note, the story has human(s) in it. Now to be fair, I only place ONE human in the Great Valley
 - The Begining and parts of the main plot contain Sci-Fi. If you think that Sci-Fi doesn't belong in the LBT, then don't flame me. Just kindly go to another FanFiction
 - Sorry guys. Strange. For a LBT FanFiction, there is not a lot of LBT shows  :lol . In an all serious note, that is because I just want you guys to get the feel of my story and writing. I may update this place with more chapters before I permenantly switch to FanFiction.net. So just be patience is key here. You will get the rest of the gang soon!

ONE FINAL NOTE:
This story you are about to read was typed up in Microsoft Word, and I just copy/paste the words from Word to Forum, so there may be some issues and I do not have the time to go over them. I may fix them in the future however. Like for example, this forum doesn't have the option of centering, so please bare with me here, ok :DD

So please sit back, relax, and enjoy my wonderfully detailed story on ME and the LBT   :goodluck


Bongo

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[align=center]NOTE

This story will contain both human and dinosaur talk. Luckily for you viewers, the dinosaur talk will be pre-translated for your enjoyment. The dinosaur and human scenes will either be separated by a line of “~~~”s or be “Written in italics when a human is talking” when a dinosaur is present, just so I don’t confuse you guys with who is talking in a scene. Trust me, it can get confusing when we get later in the chapters.


BACKSTORY

The Year is 3068. The dominant Earth creature, known as homo sapiens, also known as Man, or Mankind, has progressed far in the arts of science and has perfected every corner stone and crack of it (Of course, taking place in the future, humans advancing far into science is a very overused clichÈ). Unfortunately, progressing so far into the future has had to have its side effects; the once green and flourishing Planet Earth is now a barren wasteland.

Due to the side effects of the science experiments, it caused the Earth to slowly rot away. As a last minute resort to save the human race, all of Earth’s Nations united together under the name Sol United, created a huge spaceship. Large enough to hold the genetics of animals, plants, samples of the Earth’s elements, history of Earth, and enough room for equipment, everyday necessities, and enough room to house the entire world population. This spaceship has been named A.R.K; Airship Resolution Kinetic. The A.R.K. made it maiden and only voyage off of earth in the year of 2237.

The Ship, thanks to its self-sustaining life system on board, was able to keep the human race in tact without any side effects of previous long term space travel expeditions. The ship had residential sections, recreational sections, and commerce sections. It had a military force, a police force, and a science force. It was just like a huge cruise ship in space. There was one section of the space ship, however, that was one section of the ship that was blocked off from the rest of the ship. It contained the genetics, samples, and history of Earth in its bowels.

Sol United had, under oath and a treaty, said that this section of the ship shall not be opened, with the exception of the Historical Archives section, which has to be updated daily. Once another hospitable planet has been found, the entire section of the ship would open up. Then, I think we all know what would happen, we would spread our species of fauna and flora onto the planet and reestablish the United Nations and the other countries as well and restart the Human race again. (So I copied the Pixar Wall-E Story for inspiration. Sorry Pixar)

However, it has been nearly a millennium and no planet has been found. In fact, the ship has been drifting in empty space. The last star system they checked was SK-1829, a Red Giant, for a planet habitable for life. Their next stop would have been SK-1830, but that order was given out at least a few centuries ago. The good thing was that science has progressed so much that man could finally travel backwards in time. (They could only move as forward in time as much as time has progressed, Confused? Because I am too). What were they planning on doing? With this new time traveling technology, a human could go back in time and research the “holes” in the timeline of Earth because the previous Humans living on the planet Earth (That’s US!) could not find enough information to fill in the holes, so much of Earth’s early history could never be found, until now.

Anyways, the science team on the ship has “perfected” time travel. By “perfected”, I mean that you could send only a single person back and for the in time in time and may cause a power surge in the spaceship that could last up to a week. But they were able to do it! And this is where our REAL story begins…[/align]


Bongo

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[align=center]The Land Before Time: The Voyage Home

CHAPTER I: Back In Time[/align]



Name: Bongo Emanon
Birth Date: June 23, 3050
Race: Asian, Filipino

Log Entry #001
Log Entry Date – January 15 3036

Hello. My name is Bongo Emanon. I am of Filipino decadence, part of sector
AB-42.12. I am part of the Science Division #42B. One minute I am studying physics in the Quantamanal University part of the Upper Deck 392, the next minute, I am part of a science experiment. The head council of the Science Division said that I was to be part of a new experiment happening down in the labs on deck 112. I don’t know why they chose me or what I am going through, but they told me to record anything interesting into this log. Well, besides my new transfer from a student to a lab rat, this week’s food was terrible. It was too dry and tasted like something fell on the floor and stayed there for hours. I think I will send a letter to management about fixing the Hydra-Food processor in the main mess hall of the kitchen.




[align=center]This is Bongo, graduated College at a young age. This is so because since a Human’s strengths and weaknesses are unpredictable before birth, Scientists now inject ëhelping genes’, which make a certain skill soar above the rest. Only a select few are chosen because their parents had the money to afford it. Bongo was one of the lucky few. However, his parents were forbidden to tell him that he had this gene inserted into him until a certain age. This is to make sure that they don’t abuse it at a young age. Such as if a person has a Charisma gene injected into them, they might lead a rebellion on the ship because his smooth charm could poison the minds of some.

Anyways, the reason Bongo has been chosen to be the lab rat is because of his DNA. Unknowingly to his parents, the gene they inserted had another gene in it. The reason behind this was because way before Bongo was born, the science team was already doing experiments on time travel on rats and humans who had the death sentence. This was because any living thing that went through the machine would disintegrate into ashes upon arrival. After many failed test later, the science team has finally perfected a gene that would combat this disintegrating side effects. Bongo was chosen off the list because he was the only child to receive a gene implantation that year.

Another reason why Bongo was the only one chosen was because the time machine could only send one person back and forth in time. Any more and the ship would be knocked out for an unknown amount of days because the machine uses up so much energy. Maybe even weeks, months, or years. By then, the backup generators would have given up and the entire human race would be doomed as a whole.
Bongo was told to report to the science lab on Monday 6:00 AM sharp.[/align]



Log Entry #002
Log Entry Date – January 17, 3036
I could not write in my log for long. They said I was getting my gear ASAP. All I can say is that I have some sort of life support system, portable lab equipment, and a wilderness guide to all Plants and Animals known to Mankind’. They said that I was going to do a test run once I learn how to operate my equipment.



[align=center]Bongo could not write in his log for long because he is being geared up. His life support system will help him survive by disinfecting food and water and making sure they are edible; portable lab equipment to do research on the past plants and animals and history; and a wilderness survival guide to help him just in case his equipment fails. Bongo would then get a basic 101 on how to operate his equipment and how to survive in the wild.

Once his training is done, he would be part of an experiment to see if the machine works, so they would send Bongo one minute into the future. Unfortunately, at the time, the scientists did not know the consequences of traveling forward in time when the future has not yet been laid out…[/align]



Log Entry #007
Log Entry Date – January 22, 3036
<CORRUPT MESSAGE ERROR>



[align=center]The reason why the message is corrupt is quite horrifying actually. After his basics 101 and packing all his equipment into a pack, he was transferred to Science Viewing Room #A-01, where the time machine was located. The time machine was a circular pad with crescent rings circling the pad. The pad was then connected to a bunch of machines that makes time travel possible. The machines are powered from Uranium Crystals found in deep space asteroids. Earth Uranium cannot be used because, compared to Deep Space Uranium, is a very weak element. Deep Space Uranium is very powerful and ten rods of that uranium can keep the ship going for 500 years!

Bongo had all his equipment in his pack and was instructed to go to the center of the pad and wait there. Bongo went to the pad and waited for 30 minutes. They had to wait until the amphitheater was filled up with scientific observers.
“Ok men and women!” yelled the Science Board of Director,” We are about to do something that has never been done by man for millennia! Time travel!” and he talked on and on and on about the history and the technical stuff while the scientists in the amphitheater kept on taking notes.

“To make sure that this experiment works, we shall send Bongo one minute into the future to see if our experiment works! Tex, punch in coordinate 72-0890 and time travel coordinates + 0.001!” And the man manning the machine punched in the coordinates and then gave the “Ok!” sign to the director. Unfortunately, they did not know dire consequences awaited them.

Just imagine Time Travel is like watching a new television show. Half way though, you can recall what happened in the past, but don’t know what will happen in the future. If you rewind the show, you can go as far forward as you can remember. Like if you are in the year 2010, you can travel to the year 2000, and then travel back to the year 2010, but not 2011 because you don’t know what happens in the year 2011. Trying to travel in the future would result in a paradox and after effects that could shatter the universe as a whole.

Tex waited for the ëGO!’ signal from the director. Bongo, still standing on the pad, waited in anticipation, his back starting to ache from standing up with his pack filled to the brim. Bongo was both excited and scarred. He knew he would be part of history, being the first time traveler the Human race has ever known, but he heard of the stories of past failed experiments; would he come in one piece, or would he disintegrate into ash?

Then, out of the blue, the director made the final decision with the council and yelled “GO!” to Tex. Tex pulled down on a lever that activated the time circuits. Electricity then surged from the Uranium Power Stations (UPS; ha ha ha) to the switch and then finally to the time circuits. At that moment, everyone in the amphitheater held their breath; the council, the audience, and especially Bongo. Like magic, the crescent shaped rings started to revolve around Bongo really fast. They were so fast that the rings became a blur. The rings then started to hum softly then loudly then softly again. A light bluish purple tinge started to glow around Bongo.

Then, an electromagnetic sphere started to form around him. On the inside of the bubble, time seemed to slow down. Bongo’s movements started to slow and looked like he was in the Matrix. From the outside, the audience “Ooh’d and Awed” at the sight. From inside the bubble, Bongo thought it was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his entire life.

Just as quick as it happened, one of the machines exploded. Some frightened audience members ran for it. Others screamed. Most ducked and covered. Tex said that the machine had an internal error. The machine tried to calculate the coordinates Tex punched in, but all that occurred was a paradox. It’s like using a calculator and dividing by zero, except the calculator is powered by Space Uranium and is about 100x larger and has the tendency to disintegrate people when things go wrong.

A fire started to spread from the location of the explosion. A fire crew came in, but had to pull out because now broken, highly charged wires lay skewed across the floor. Bolts of electricity started to shoot across the room.
“Shut it of! Shut the machine off!” the director yelled at Tex. Tex tried his best to shut off the machine, but an explosion from behind knocked Tex and the machine over. The keyboard for the machine was smashed, and so then the text and coordinates in the screen got all jumbles and the numbers started to change rapidly.

Bongo was aware of this but could do nothing. His body just bobbed in the middle of the electrically charged time bubble. All he could do was listen to the explosions and sounds of people screaming see bolts of electricity fly past him with explosions accompanying them, and the director trying to get him out of the bubble. Plus, Bongo was starting to feel light headed. This is because prolonged exposure to this ëTime Bubble’ can have some unpleasant effects to the Human body, so he had to get out of there.

Just then, a bolt of electricity flew from the broken machine to the power inlet connecter of the Time Machine’s Pad. The machine’s screen finally stopped on an unknown coordinate. The hum of the pad’s crescent rings hummed louder and louder and glowed brighter and brighter. Just when Bongo was about to pass out, a huge explosion happened on the machine and a bright, white flash occurred with a “SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHH” sound, and Bongo and his equipment was gone. All that was left was a destroyed time pad, machines, and a very frightened crew…[/align]


Bongo

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[align=center]CHAPTER II: The Land Lost in Time

After the bolt of electricity hit the teleportation pad, Bongo’s world just seemed to fade away. Outside his time sphere, colors began to change; the scenery began to warp; and voices started to get muffled. Then they all started to swirl around and around until the colors, shapes, and voices formed a vortex-like hole in the space time continuum. The sphere then lurched forward through the vortex; or did the vortex swallow the sphere? It is unknown, because the prolonged exposure to the Time Sphere knocked Bongo out cold. If he was left that way, he would be dead in less than five minutes…

Just in time, the sphere had done it! It had crossed space and time; along with its lone passenger and partially destroyed equipment! The science experiment was a complete success, besides the destroyed equipment, terrified scientists, and the few injured in the process.

The sphere finally materialized in a large meadow in the Great Valley, letting off a humming sound and a bright light to signal its arrival. Bongo’s near lifeless body still suspended in the sphere gently floated to the bottom of the sphere and then fell through the bottom. Then, just as quick as it came, the Time Sphere then faded into non-existence.

Quickly out of the Time Sphere’s field, he quickly came out of being knocked out. He got up quickly to determine where, or more importantly, when! Bongo then remembered his equipment. He took his pack off of his back and rummaged through. Most of the equipment was fried when the surge of electricity the pad and sphere. Fortunately, some of his other equipment survived. Soon enough, he found it; his Wilderness Survival Guide!

However, instead of being made of paper, it is electronic. In the future, since trees would be hard to maintain on the ship, they switched to electronic books. The only trees left on the ship was on the closed off section for colonization. No trees means no books. No books meant the switch to electronic devices.

The survival guide was about the size of your modern day iPad, except it had a 3D hologram attached to it. Holograms in the future replaced videos on screen. The other features, however, are pretty much the same as your iPad, except a lot more advance. This Wilderness Survival guide has programs, or what you modern folk call ëApps’. Some told the time, some gave you the geography of the land, some would act as a compass, some would scan plants and animals to determine what they are and whether they are edible or not, and some could even translate dialogue for you and the speaker.

It is like a futuristic Google Translate, except instead of translating words, it translates sounds. Let’s say a person is speaking to you in Spanish and you are English. The program translates the sounds it hears and then says it in your language in the same voice and tone that person talked to you in. When you reply to the other person, its pretty much the same thing, except reversed. Plus, instead of having to wait for a translation, things are instantaneous; no wait! Isn’t the future great?

Bongo brought up his Wilderness Survival Guide, then went to his calendar. The calendar did not just tell the date, but the time, year, and temperature in both degrees and Celsius.

A smooth, soothing female tone then came up saying,” Time; Mid to Late Jurassic Period (The reason the program could not give out an exact date is because its data is very slim on dates before the earliest recorded time in the globe, so it gives estimates) 1:12 AM. Temperature; 17*C/62*F”

“Mid to late Jurassic period!” Bongo thought frantically in his mind,” I was only supposed to go one minute in the future! Not many millennia in the past!!! Something must have gone wrong! Alright, just stay calm, stay calm. Remember your training. Ok, the first thing I was taught is to know your surroundings…”

Bongo’s eyes scanned his surroundings. He was in a field of prehistoric brush in what appeared to be a valley. From what he could tell at that point, there was no way in or out. He knew he could not be seen out in the open. One of the creatures could spot him and he could be killed! He then got out his survival book again and got out the program that showed the geography of the land. A little antenna came out the top of his device and did a quick scan of the place.

A holographic map then appeared in front of him. Bongo saw his position and then saw a nearby clearing behind some trees. There, he could set up camp and then decide from there. The clearing was no more than half a mile away. Following his map, he headed off in that direction, right outside this large meadow, not know all this time, he was being watched…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




It was nightfall in the Great Valley. The moon was high in the sky, with the occasional cloud coming over casting vast shadows across the valley. The waterfalls were roaring quietly and the river made soft splashing sounds. The trees swayed in the breeze and their leaves moved to-and-fro. Insects buzzed amidst the tall plants. All the dinosaurs were fast asleep; eggs packed tightly in their nests, babies and children cuddling with their mothers, mothers keeping their eggs and children warm, and the fathers sleeping on the outskirts of their little patch they call home to protect the ones they loved.

There was one little dinosaur, however, that was still wide awake; Littlefoot. Littlefoot could not sleep because he was having nightmares of a Sharptooth attacking the Great Valley again. He knew the story and he knew the ending so well, so why did it bother him? Even Littlefoot could not answer that. Could it be because a sharptooth killed his mother? Is it because a sharptooth almost killed his friends? Or could it be because a sharptooth almost killed him? He pondered and pondered all night long, and did not want to wake his grandparents up just because of another dream.

He stared up at the night sky, looking at the moon, clouds, and stars, and his mind was then set off his dream. He wondered many things, and pondered many other things too. “So many questions, so little answers” Littlefoot said to himself,” If only I could solve them” Littlefoot then decided that he was just over thinking things and should get some rest. Just when he laid down his head and curled up into a ball, he heard something come from a meadow with tall brush. Littlefoot’s head suddenly jerked up. It sounded like nothing he has ever heard in the Great Valley. He has never even heard it in the Mysterious Beyond!

Littlefoot cautiously got up; so he would not disturb his grandparents; and set off for the meadow to find the source of this sound. The closer he got to the meadow, the louder the sound got. It was like a humming noise. He carefully entered the meadow’s tall foliage. Out of no where, a blinding light came from the middle of the field. Littlefoot ducked and covered in the plants. He dared not to come out because he feared of what he would see could hurt or even kill him. After a little while after the blinding light vanished, he could hear panting then something fumbling for something. Littlefoot then heard a voice. Although he could not understand it, he could tell it was female though. Littlefoot caught a small glimpse of a strange creature. He quickly looked away in fear that the creature saw him. He could not even make out his shape. It stood up like Ducky, but did not seem like the creature had the same head as Ducky, or even the same skin! In fact, what was that bush doing on top of its head?

Littlefoot then heard footsteps walk right past him. His little heart was just about to break out of his rib cage out of fear. After a short period of time after the footsteps have vanished, Littlefoot got up. He swiftly looked around him to see if that creature was still there with him. He then noticed where the bright light and noise originated from; the middle of the meadow. He ventured forth, and upon reaching the epicenter, he saw something stranger than beyond belief.

In the middle of the meadow, where the light and sound came from, where the creature presumably came from was a hole. Not just any kind of hole, but a circular hole. Heck, it wasn’t even a circle! It was a sphere! (Yes. Remember the Terminator movies? When they go back in time, they travel in spheres that just seem to devour the scenery? Just imagine something like that in the meadow). Glowing embers were on the tips on the foliage that had been cut off. The ground looked like someone just took a scoop out of the Earth. It was as if a giant  sharptooth had smashed a giant boulder that was on fire into the middle of the meadow.

None of this made any sense to Littlefoot, none at all. He then noticed footprints in the; now squished; plant life. They went on right past him where he was just quivering and shaking. Littlefoot followed these tracks until he reached the edge of the meadow again. He then noted the slight imprint of a creature’s footsteps in the ground. HE saw where they led, and he then gasped as he saw that they went straight to…

“Grandma! Grandpa!!!” Littlefoot cried out loud. He already lost his mother and almost lost his Grandfather too. He did not want to lose both of them at the same time. He then rushed off to his grandparents, hoping he would not be too late…[/align]


Caustizer

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This appears to be a very interesting story.  I will be following it.


LBTDiclonius

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As I said on the wecome forum, I was reading it, but then the connection timed out so I didn't get to review this.  So far, it's coming along nicely. I like it, and will be following and looking out for new chapters. :yes  Good work.


Bongo

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Thanks Caustizer and LBTDiclonius. I enjoyed writing up the prologue and both of the chapters! I enjoy reading good comments like yours too! I expect the chapter and part of the next to be done by Saturday. In fact, i will see if I can do as much as i can to finish up the rest of Chapter II today and post them. If not, I will do so on Saturday.

Keep the feedback coming guys! Its comments like those that give me a reason to finish my grand story!  :exactly


LBTDiclonius

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Your very much welcome Bongo! Alway's happy to help. :yes


Bongo

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(continued from the first half of Part II)

[align=center]...Bongo kept following his holographic map through the thick forest and brush. When ever possible, he took a scanning of the plants in front of him to make sure they were not poisonous. Even with his map, it was still hard to navigate through the forest. The trees were thick, close together, and had large roots that were hard to climb over. There were streams and mud pits that Bongo stepped into and almost tripped in while trying to navigate through the dark. He tried to get his flashlight out, but he could not find it through the rubble.

Plus, he knew he could not stop now. He had to make a base camp to fall back to in case there was trouble. What seemed like a short half mile walk turned out to be a three mile nightmare! The bugs, plant life, and natural obstacles kept on getting in the way. Nether less, Bongo moved on. The equipment on his back started to weigh him down while going through a muddy bog. He went from being ankle high to knee high.

After many bug bites, itchy plant encounters, and almost sinking waist deep in mud, according to his map, Bongo had finally made it to the clearing! He turned off his Survival Guide, and then slowly headed to the clearing past the thick brush. Just as Bongo was about to jump a bush, he heard a soft grumbling sound. By instinct, he ducked behind the very bush he was about to jump.

Bongo, shivering with both fear and excitement. This would be the first time that a human has ever encountered a real life dinosaur! HE quickly got out his Wilderness Survival Guide and selected the ëScan’ program. A small pole poked out of the top of the Guide and fired a small, blue laser at the dinosaur. Then, the soft female voice came up saying,

“Species; Apatosaurus, Sex; Male, Herbivore, Weight; Approx. 18,000 Kg/40,000 lbs to 35,000 Kg/77,000 lbs.” Bongo starred in awe. “It’s a gentle giant!” he thought to himself,” Better document this!” and quickly got out a camera with an attached laser pointer for better accuracy. Bongo turned on the camera and laser pointer, and since it was dark out, had to have the flash on, but set it on low so he would not disturb the Apatosaurus.

He aimed the camera lens at the huge dinosaur, and just when he was about to take a photo, he heard a small yell, or was it a roar? It sounded like a combination of both. Whatever it was, Bongo was not quick enough to realize what it was, because when he turned around, he was knocked off his knees and was thrown into the clearing. What ever knocked him down made his camera hit a rock. This changed its flash settings from ëlow’ to ëhigh’ and Bongo’s frightened self accidentally squeezed the camera trigger.

A bright flash came out of the camera and a loud “POP!” sounded. The next thing Bongo knew was that on top of him was a child Apatosaurus! The more bewildering thing was that, was it just Bongo imagining it, or was it real, that the Apatosaurus had an angry look on him! The dino was getting too heavy for Bongo’s chest, so with all his might, he pushed the Apatosaurus off him. Bongo saw him do a barrel roll before stopping on his side.

What ever expression the little dinosaur had, the flash, sound, and small brawl between Bongo and the dinosaur woke up the larger ones. The male immediately got up, and what a bad time too! The male saw Bongo push the small one off, and that seemed to tick the big fellow off. Bongo then realized that the big one must have been a father of some sort and the little one to be the child! There is one thing every person learns; hit a kid in front of their parents, and the parents get ticked off!

The male Apatosaurus got up on all fours as quickly as he could and roared a beastly roar. This roar echoed all across the valley, and this seemed to wake up the neighborhood. All of a sudden, like a chain reaction, other roars from other dinosaurs called out, and Bongo could hear the distinctive rumble of a stampede of dinosaurs coming his way. Bongo could only do what any scared man would do; RUN!

Bongo got up quickly and picked up his fallen equipment and ran for the trees. He turned around and ducked in time too because the big male swung his tail around with the goal of hitting Bongo. He missed and instead hit a patch of trees, making a clearing for Bongo to escape. He looked behind him and the little bugger that had landed on his chest was starting to chase him, snapping his jaws whenever he got close.

His worn down feet and the heavy pack was no match for the prehistoric Hulk with four legs and a long neck charging at him. Luckily, using that Smart Gene that was implanted into his brain, he saw a crack in the ground ahead of him that had lava at the bottom. Then he remembered he had a canteen of water at his side. Remembering basic science; when water heats up, you get gas, and when you speed up the process, you get steam! He would pour water down the crack to make a huge steam cloud to act as a prehistoric smoke bomb and make his escape!

Bongo unlatched the canteen from his side, unscrewed the cap, and threw the water ahead of him. With the quick thinking of his brain, the water landed in the crack and created a steam cloud. He escaped through it while the little Apatosaurus suddenly stopped out of shock that steam had appeared out of nowhere, but charged in after Bongo. Luckily, Bongo escaped and brought up his holographic map again. Up ahead was a small cave hidden behind a rock formation. Bongo knew this would be his new camp, and disappeared through the steam, leaving a still dazed and confused Apatosaurus behind…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


   Littlefoot, knowing that section of the land well, quickly jumped over every tree root, every huge rock, every large mud puddle, and just about every other obstruction with ease. He then heard that female voice again talking in that strange language again. Littlefoot got into stealth mode, and stayed close to the ground while making as little noise as possible. What he saw scared him to death; that creature hunched down behind a bush pointing a…a…”What is that thing?” Littlefoot questioned himself in his mind while he focused his eyes on the creature’s red stick that glowed.

He then noticed it was pointed straight at his Grandfather. Not wanting to know how things would turn out, Littlefoot went out on a full on charge while yelling,” NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Littlefoot then accurately and swiftly hit the creature in the back which sent that thing flying out into the open. All of a sudden, a bright flash and a loud “POP!” occurred. This threw Littlefoot back a bit. Fearing that the creature killed his Grandfather used all his rage against that creature.

He took a flying leap and landed his two hind legs on the creature’s chest. From there, under the light of the moon, Littlefoot saw that this creature was nothing like he had ever seen. He lowered his head to the creatures head and wanted to rip his face off because he thought that the creature had killed his Grandfather.

His grandfather, however, was perfectly fine, but with the all the ruckus and bright flash, Littlefoot’s grandfather woke up. Littlefoot, overjoyed that his Grandpa was still alive, was too distracted to notice the creature push him off. Littlefoot then did a roll on the ground and landed on his side. He was surprised that for such a scrawny little creature, he sure did have some strength.

This was too much for Grandpa. Fearing Littlefoot got badly hurt by that…thing, he yelled out,” LITTLEFOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!” Grandpa’s yell echoed and bounced off the valley’s walls. This woke up every family in the valley; Cera’s, Petrie’s, Ducky’s and Spike’s, and many more. Since everyone in the valley knew Littlefoot and they knew that his grandfather would not yell his name like that unless there was danger, they knew Littlefoot was in trouble. So everyone in the valley; both big or small, a flier, swimmer, or three horn alike; all charged to the source of the yell to help Littlefoot out. Protecting his only grandson, Littlefoot’s Grandfather swung his tail around, whip lashing a nearby group of trees, but caused no harm to that little creature that got in a brawl with Littlefoot.
Littlefoot quickly regained his strength and got up just in time to see the creature escape through a clearing. He charged toward him, getting closer and closer and closer until he was so close he could probably bite the creatures behind off. Even with that long neck of his, he couldn’t reach. He stretched and he snapped, he went faster and snapped, but the creature was just a little far off! Just when he could get a good bite, the creature did something! A mist appeared out of nowhere!

Bewildered and a bit shocked, Littlefoot stopped at the edge of the mists, but then put that off his mind and raced into the cloud. He searched and searched and searched until the mists subsided.

“That creature got away!” Littlefoot cried out in defeat. Then, after getting over his emotions, raced back to his Grandfather and Grandmother to make sure they are ok. It was a commotion over at Littlefoot’s grounds. The adults went on bickering and blabbering as usual while the kids stayed behind wondering what all the commotion was about.

When Littlefoot arrived back home, he noticed all the adults were in a circle; some showing fear, some showing sympathy, and others showing no interest at all. Behind the adults, he then noticed that the gang was in some bushes discussing things like the grown ups. Littlefoot decided to head there.

As Littlefoot got closer, the words he heard became clearer…

“…Well MY father says that the only reason why we came here in the first place was to see what the noise was for!” ëDefiantly Cera’ Littlefoot thought in his mind.
“But did you not hear the sounds of a fight?” asked a timid voice “When Mama heard Grandpa Longneck’s yell for Littlefoot, she told us to go hurry. As we fly to Littlefoot, we hear fighting and tree smashing. Mama was sure scared.” Littlefoot recognized that voice as Petrie immediately.

“Well, Spike woke up to get a snack down by the water. When he got up, he woke me up and I realized I was VERY hungry, and decided to join him. All of a sudden, I hear a yell near Littlefoot’s home, so I wake Mama up and tell her about it and we hurried over here without stopping. Yep yep yep!” There was only one dinosaur in the whole valley that talks about Spike so often; Ducky.

“Look! Littlefoot is here now!” yelled Petrie as he saw Littlefoot slowly come towards the gang with his head slumped down in defeat.

“Littlefoot! We are so glad you are ok!” exclaimed Ducky as she jumped off of Spike’s head and ran towards Littlefoot’s leg and hugged it vigorously.

Littlefoot turned his head, and with a tired smile said in a weary tone,” Glad to see you too Ducky.” And he then walked over to Spike, Cera, and Petrie.

“So, did you catch your monster Littlefoot?” Cera asked in a sarcastic tone, and chuckled a bit at what she just said.

“Oh, so you think this is all an entire joke!?” Snapped Littlefoot “Do you think that fight was a joke? Do you think that patch of destroyed trees is a joke? This is not a joke!”

“Do not worry, we believe you Littlefoot” Petrie replied. Ducky and Spike nodded their heads in agreement.

“Yea, we sure do believe you Littlefoot” Cera replied and rolled her eyes.
Just then, one of the adults saw Littlefoot. His Grandfather then stepped forward and lowered his head down to Littlefoot’s height.

“Littlefoot? Are you hurt? What was that thing? Where did it go? What did it look like? Did you get it?” Littlefoot’s Grandfather kept on interrogating him with question upon question.

“I’m fine Grandpa” Replied Littlefoot in an exasperated tone,” I am not hurt, just a little dazed. I don’t know what it even is! I could not tell where the creature went though, because I lost him. And it looked lie…a…um…”

“Like a ëwhat’ Littlefoot? Please explain it to us as best as you can” His Grandpa urged him on. Littlefoot then went onto explaining what the creature looked like in the best way possible. Some of the adults, like Topsy, had their doubts that this was a lie. Littlefoot then remembered the evidence that he had! Littlefoot showed them all the spot where the creature, sound, and noise originated from.

Now all of them were convinced that this terror was real, and was amongst them all. Littlefoot also showed them the spot where the creature created a mist out of nowhere. He even found an empty canteen lying nearby to provide even more evidence that this creature was real! Everyone was now in a fright; including Cera and Topsy who did not believe a single word from the beginning.

Littlefoot’s Grandfather then stepped up and came up with a plan;

“Ok, any and all adult fliers will keep watch over any passages in and out of the great valley to not only ensure that no Sharptooth would come through, but to also keep a watch out for that creature. Three Horns will patrol the perimeter of the valley to make sure everything is in its checks and balances. Swimmers, check the water supplies. Every living thing needs water sometime or another. Other Longnecks, keep a lookout through the valley to see if you can spot him!” All the Adults surrounding Litttlefoot’s Grandfather agreed heartily and started to create time schedules for each adult to take.

Littlefoot and the gang then stepped up as the adults started moving home while checking their surroundings to see if they could spot the creature.

“Grandpa?” Littlefoot asked “Is there anything WE can do to help? I mean I almost got that thing by foot!”

His Grandfather then stared down at Littlefoot and with a stern tone said,” Sorry Littlefoot, but after that close encounter, I just can’t afford to have that thing hurt you or worse.”

“But Grandpa…”

“That is my final decision! Now you and your friends spend the night here. Your Grandma will keep watch. The rest of us will start guarding and securing the area” and then Littlefoot’s Grandfather left to go to the adults, and Littlefoot’s Grandmother then left the clearing also to keep watch on the outside.

“Well that is no fair!” Pouted Cera,” We are just as good as the adults! We could get that creature! That will show them!”

“Good idea Cera” Littlefoot agreed,” In fact, I have a plan. Listen up everybody. First, we are going to lure that creature out of the open with food. We will put the food in a trail so that it leads to the sinking sands. The creature will get stuck in the sinking sands and then we will show the adults we can do this!”

“Yes, me agree!” Petrie said enthusiastically.

“Me and Spike agree too” Ducky also said.

“Then it is agreed. We will find and capture that creature that is out on the lose!” Littlefoot declared triumphantly…
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Bongo

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Now personally for Chapter II, the first 3/4 was my favorite part to write about. However, the last 1/4 of the chapter was a big downer in my opinion. Now why don't I change it? Well, in my real version that I am updating, I am so far ahead that the actions based on the last 1/4 have an effect on future chapters, so I HAVE to keep it this way  :bang

Please tell me, is there any way I can improve the last bit while keeping to the plot?


LBTDiclonius

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Good chapter. But I've noticed one thing. When you say scarred as in, "Bongo was scarred" instead of the two R's there should only be one R there like this, "Bongo was scared."  Hope that helps a little bit. But other than that, it looked fine. Good job on the spelling and grammer. :yes

Well, that was probably one of the ugliest meetings in a Land Before time Fanfiction with a human I've ever read. Certainly not how I thought the meeting would go down, but I guess that's something different, and different is good.  ;)

I don't see why you would have to change the last quarter of the chapter.  And if it's a big plot point, why change it? And their little plan to jump on him would probably work so that, they'll be able to meet Bongo and make friends with him. Overall I liked this Chapter, I look forward to the next part. :)


Adder

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This is really good. :) Can't wait for more. :)

Also, about the profanity, there's a rule about it on Gang of Five:
Quote from: Petrie,May 9 2005 on  04:54 PM
Section 2
1 - use of the following words: ass, damn, hell
a.) provided they are not used against any member here in a deragatory manner, there is no issue

2 - use of any of the words in section 2.1 or any other questionable words where the intent is clearly to anger is not allowed under any circumstances
a.) included words: bi**h, f**k, s**t, sl**

You can center text by using this code:

Code:  on  
[align=center] insert text here [/align]


It will come out centered, but make sure you copy it right. Just put 'left' 'right' or 'center' on how you want your text aligned. :)


Bongo

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Thanks LBTDiclonius. I did a quick run through a did some revision on some words and scentences. And yes I must agree, the meeting was a very unpleasant one, but also fun to write about  :DD . It was entertaining to write about the many troubles I....er, Bongo (I am the narrator) goes through. It was also very fun to write about the two sides of the story; Bongo's side and the Dinosaur's side, and how misunderstandings could lead to certain doom  :smile

Quote
I don't see why you would have to change the last quarter of the chapter. And if it's a big plot point, why change it?

Oh, and don't worry, I decided to keep the main plot of the last quarter of Chapter II; The dinosaurs have a discussion on what to do, Littlefoot shows evidence, and Grandpa makes the plan of tighter security on the Great Velley. I just want to make the dialouge more engaging with more conversation between the grown up besides just Topsy and Gramps and some other unnamed dinosaurs and actually have the Gane of Five have something to say!

Oh, and being part of the "Most Wanted" in the Great Valley AND being the main character is unheard of (Well, at least in my mind). He will eventually make friends of course (ClichÈ much?  :p ), but I promise, I will try to make it as epic as I possibly can!

And Adder, thanks for reminding me about the profanity rules. I read them before and I know children may be reading this, so I will only include the words "damn" and possibly "hell" a couple of times for Bongo's lines to represent a stressful moment. They will certainly NOT be used against any of the LBT characters or any GOF members either OR used in an excessive motion (Ex; Scarface  :lol )

And also, thanks for the code. I will implement it as soon as I possibly can.

And for anyone else reading my story, I will most likely have the next chapter up! School has been slowing me down on completing it, but I am makin slow progress! Expect a new chapter by Friday or Saturday and the possible revision of the last 1/4 of Chapter II by Wednesday or Thursday.


LBTDiclonius

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Cool. I understand, school can be a pain eh? I hope to see more of this, it's lookin' really good. keep up the good work! :)


Bongo

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Yes, school is a pain sometimes, especially with so many district and state tests on your back all the time.

Luckily I get a month long vacation starting this Saturday (Or Friday after school if you are so picky) so I will have a whole lot of time to work on my story.

And thanks again!

Plus, is it just me, or does it seem like you are the only member here to read and comment on my story daily?  :DD


LBTDiclonius

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Yep, that's me! :D  But if your new to a forum, like me and you, there aren't many things to reply to so you do what you gotta do. <_<  And your welcome!


Bongo

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UPDATE 1/25/2011: Wow, I never knew I could work so quick, but I finally fixed and patched up Chapter II in less than 24 hours from its original post. Now the chapter is longer and has better dialouge!

Chapter III is now in the works and its projected due date is now moved from Saturday to Thursday.

Have fun reading my now modified Chapter II  :birthday


LBTDiclonius

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^ To answer you Bongo, I did enjoy the chapter. I like the dialouge better now. Before it seemed like everyone was mute, not that there's anthing wrong with that, I just think dialouge makes a story interesting. Nice work. ;)


Pangaea

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This story looks quite interesting to me (it’s just about the first LBT fanfiction I’ve seen in which the dinosaurs don’t inexplicably speak the same language as humans :!), and I am strongly tempted to review it, but I am already leaving feedback on so many other fanart and fanfiction threads on this forum that I’m afraid to commit myself to providing regular feedback on this one. :unsure: For now, I thought I could at least offer some notes and suggestions to help you improve the story.

I think I should first warn you that I can be quite the nitpicker when it comes to reviewing. :oops Although I intend all of my criticism to be constructive, I often worry that it causes me to come off as overly critical or not liking the story. So let me just tell you in advance that I wouldn’t bother to put all the time and effort of writing a long and detailed list of identified errors and suggestions for improvement if I didn’t like the story and didn’t want to help the author make it the best story it could possibly be.

The first suggestion I have is that you slow down a little on posting new chapters. That way, each chapter will have a greater chance of accumulating its own list of reviews. It looks to me that you already have a steady reviewer in LBTDiclonius, :yes but it’s good to receive feedback from multiple people. (Forgive me; I don’t know how experienced you are with fanfiction writing; I may be telling you things you already know. :oops)

I also think you should leave out the parenthetical comments in the story text and some of the chapter titles. (And that’s coming from someone who makes parenthetical notes all the time.) They only distract the reader’s attention from the story. Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about:
Quote from: Bongo,Jan 23 2011 on  11:36 PM
BACKSTORY (A tad long)
Quote from: Bongo,Jan 23 2011 on  11:39 PM
CHAPTER I: Back In Time (This is where the real story begins)
Quote
Electricity then surged from the Uranium Power Stations (UPS; ha ha ha) to the switch and then finally to the time circuits.
Quote from: Bongo,Jan 23 2011 on  11:43 PM
A smooth, soothing female tone then came up saying,” Time; Mid to Late Jurassic Period (The reason the program could not give out an exact date is because its data is very slim on dates before the earliest recorded time in the globe, so it gives estimates) 1:12 AM. Temperature; 17*C/62*F”
Quote
(Yes. Remember the Terminator movies? When they go back in time, they travel in spheres that just seem to devour the scenery? Just imagine something like that in the meadow).
These sorts of things would probably best be shared separately from the story.

I did see several spelling and grammar errors, and even a few malapropisms (instances in which a word is used that sounds or is spelled similar to the word you intended to use, but has a completely different meaning; these errors won’t be caught by a spell check). For example, at the beginning of Chapter 1, you use the word “decadence” when I’m pretty sure you meant “descent”. I also spotted at least one instance where the word “definitely” is written as “defiantly”.
Quote
Some of the adults, like Topsy, had their doubts that this was a lie.
I think you mean that they had their doubts that it was true.

Homo sapiens is a scientific name. Therefore the first part should be capitalized, and scientifically speaking, the entire name should be italicized. This rule also applies to the scientific names of dinosaurs. (Speaking of which, just a thought: if the guide ever identifies Tyrannosaurus by its full scientific nameóTyrannosaurus rexóthen it might make sense for it to identify the other dinosaur species by their full names as well: Apatosaurus excelsus, Triceratops horridus, Saurolophus osborni, Pteranodon longiceps, Stegosaurus armatus, and so on. If you decide to do this, but don’t know the full name of a specific dinosaur, just ask me. ;)).

Now for a few comments and observations on the story itself:

ï This is just my personal view, but I’d imagine that it wouldn’t be science experiments that destroy Earth’s environment, but the increasing human population. The more humans there are, the more fresh water is used up, the more soil is overtaxed for growing crops, the more the seas are overfished, and the more land is used up for living space, landfills, and industrial sites.

ï Although LBT is completely unrealistic in the range of dinosaur species it depicts as existing contemporaneously, it would be more plausible in my opinion for it to be set in the late Cretaceous period, when all of the dinosaurs portrayed had already evolved, with the presence of those that were technically extinct at that time justified with the argument that they simply survived later than the fossil record would indicate.

ï Why would Littlefoot think that Bongo was a threat to his grandfather? :confused The dinosaurs have no concept of guns; the closest equivalent they have to a weapon that can do damage from a distance is dropping or throwing rocks or other objects.

ï I can’t imagine that the adult dinosaurs (especially Mr. Threehorn) would so easily change their minds from refusing to believe Littlefoot to being fully convinced of his story from the evidence he showed them. I’d think that the space left by the time sphere would look to them like the crater left by a small meteorite. The canteen would certainly be like nothing they’d ever seen before, but how far would it really go to prove Littlefoot’s story to be true? I don’t see why they would be so alarmed by the creature, either; the fact that it fled when attacked by one of their children doesn’t make it seem too threatening. I think a more realistic response from the adults would be one of suspicion and precaution; a mindset like: “there’s something strange going on, and we’d better keep a lookout and take safety measures in case it’s dangerous”. In order to implement this change to the story, you wouldn’t need to really alter the plot, just the dialogue and the descriptions of the characters’ reactions.

I must congratulate you in that your revision of the chapters has, in my opinion, definitely improved them from their original state. :yes There are some errors that I was originally going to point out that do not seem to be there anymore.

Again, I review a lot of stories and artwork on this forum, so forgive me if I don’t post regular or punctual feedback on this story; I hope I have at least managed to be helpful with this review. I will do my best to follow this story; I’m eager to see how the gang will interact with Bongo. (Though I’d prefer to never see humans in the LBT canon, some of my favorite scenes in LBT fanfiction involve a human character’s reaction to meeting sentient dinosaurs. :lol)



Pronounced "pan-JEE-uh". Spelled with three A's. Represented by a Lystrosaurus.


Bongo

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Its ok. Nitpicking is good( in some cases that is)

Now, to answer your first question is because I am in school right now, and of course, school before fun! Luckily, I get a month long break after Friday, so I get to update as regularly as I can. Plus, its not my decision that a person posts a comment on this  :p

The parenthetical comments I put in are like annotations. They just provide extra information, because I know some people just wonder and don't ask about it.

I do use spell check, but you know that spell sheck is not 100% accurate. Plus, spell check does not choose words that best fit. It was only designed to check if words are spelled correctly. Also, I mostly do my stories late at night because that is when I have a lot of free time. I am a little tired by then, so my choice of words may not be as broad as when I am awake.

Also, please note my first post. It clearly states that I type these stories up in Microsoft Word and then just copy and paste. In Microsoft Word, 90% of the time, if I have a word that I want underlined, italicized, or boldy printed in my original story, it usually is, and right now during a school week, I don't have the time to go back and read every scentence amd compare it with my Microsoft Word version of the story.

Thanks for pointing out that I did not complete the names of the dinosaurs. In the future, I will reaserch the full names of them.

Now, onto your comments;

 - Although I did not explain it throroughly, in my mind, the Science experiments did do something to the Earth. For example, a lot of the science experiments had byproducts, such as trash, rubble, nuclear waste, and scrap. Being Humans, we did not change our ways much  :lol . True, nuclear waste and scrap would be recycled, but trash and rubble world go straight to the landfills. The landfills would continue to grow and grow, and by the time the humans realized the growing problem and impliment solutions, it has grown too big. Water became polluted. Wild life started to die off due to pollution and ingestion of the trash, and disease and sickness went rampant.
Also, in the future, just like how we are able to create gold today, in the future, the humans were able to create coal with as little money as possible. It was like back when people found out how to make steel cheap and quick, it revolutionized the whole world. With the ability to create coal cheap and easy, humans completely forgo other souces of energy that was more exspensive than producing coal.

 - Yea. I was very mixed when it cam to that. I could not decide between the Cretaceous or Jurassic period. My reasoning for the Jurassic persiod os because I belived that some heards of the Cretaceous period survived into the Jurassic period. But remember, we humans on this Earth don't know much about the life of dinosaurs and could only give off guesses and estimates. Thats why they did this time travel experiment; to find the gaps in history. For all we know, those dinosaurs COULD of lived during the Jurassic period  :p

- Well, in my view, Littlefoot saw this as a threat because, for one thing, he did not know what it was, just like the Stone of Cold fire. Plus, that thing was pointing straight at his Grandpa and was emmiting a red light in a straight line. Nothing like that ever existed back in the time of the Dinosaurs!
Just imagine if Aliens come down to us and point a camera at the President or Queen or someone important and had an unknown substance or object ot thing connect the camera to the person (In this case, the laser beam connects it target to the camera), and we mistook it as something danger, we would react with hostility. Anything living only has one life. If we did one mistake, then it would be goodbye! Littlefoot did not want to take that chance, so he reacted with hostility.

 - Once again, I did it late at night and posted it without another thought and went straight to the sack   :rolleyes: . I will go over that section and add dialogue showing both Mr. Threehorn's and Cera's reluctance to believing it, although I will make Cera believe Littlefoot after showing the canteen and the hole in the grass and ground. However, I will have Mr. Threehorn not believe a thing until they all find Bongo.
MAN! That will be a fun chapter to write; the reactions to Bongo, although I will make them have conversations. Can I ask you a question? Do you think it would be cheap of me to write that the translator in Bongo's survival guide could also translate animal dialouge? True, dinosaurs arn't animals, but lets just say...  :p

And yes, I do know you do review a lot of FanFiction and FanArt because in my days of lurking the website, I always say your name pop up in this forum section  :lol .

I also like your criticism! I actually do! It points out the faults of my story along with your point of view, because like in my story, I like to know the points of view on the same subject.




And here is a question FOR ALL OF YOU  :o

Do you want the meeting with Bongo and the Dinosaurs to be epic?

If so, do you want Bongo to get in a predicament, or someone else?

I want to know because I know that the meeting between the main human character and the dinosaurs is one of the many good highlights, so I want to make it as good as possible!


Oh, and Chapter III is in the works. (SPOILER ALERT) I will be taking a break from epic meetings and instead focus on how life changes in the Great Valley, how Littlefoot's plan to jump Bongo is going, and how Bongo is trying to contact his mothership while trying to survive in the valley and not be seen by the daily patrols of the area.
It will definatly be inspired by movies in where a character bust escape a prison while avoiding the guards  :yes