You're welcome, and sure you can call me by my name. I don't mind at all.
It's not your fault that you have grammatical/spelling errors in your story. I understand since I'm not a native speaker of English too. Plus, it didn't affect your storytelling which is spectacular.
In order to be a writer one has to write their pieces over and over again until all their errors have been corrected -- I learned that in my Creative Writing class last year.
I love the drawing you posted. It vividly demonstrates the scene with the avalance.
Chapter LVIII:
- In the first paragraph: " “Everything goes like clockwork”, thought Cera satisfied" I don't think what Cera said in her mind makes sense since she's living during the Prehistoric times.
- In the second sentence: "...but he startled immediately" there should be was between he and startled.
- In the third sentence: "Alright" should be all right (unless it was your intention to use it for the dialogue -- in that case it's fine).
- In the fourth sentence: "Strut nodded tired" it should be Strut tiredly nodded due to verb agreement.
- In the last paragraph: "With that Ozzy turned round..." round should be around.
- Also in the last paragraph: "Ozzy grinned malicious" should be Ozzy maliciously grinned.
There's also a small error that I found in some sentences: to should too, like "too much."
Chapter LIX:
- In the first sentence: "There he comes!" should be "Here he comes!" Otherwise, it would seem as though Cera is implying that Ozzy is not really coming near them.
- In the third sentence: "...the boulders behind which they concealed too" there should be have between they and concealed.
- In the fourth sentence: "Cera’s call woke also Petrie who had lain down..." it should be also woke Petrie who have lain down.
I hope that helps.
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