The Gang of Five
Role Play => Random Role Play => Unfinished RP's => Topic started by: F-14 Ace on February 23, 2006, 10:10:53 PM
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Yet another random RPG. I just can't think of a good LBT RPG. ANyway, this one is about a fighter squadron called Raptor Squadron. They are a special ops squadron of the U.S. Navy stationed aboard the carrier U.S.S. Freedom. You creat your own characters. THe pilots will usually fly F-14B Tomcats but sometimes they may use more advanced craft like the F-22 Raptor (the navy was actually going to produce some for carrier use but decided to cancel in favor for the F-35.)
My character will be Joe McKain, a 25 year old pilot from Medford, Oregon. I willalso be using the squadron commander (somehow, I don't think he will last though.) If you are going to join in, please creat two characters because the F-14 is a two seat aircraft. I guess the copilot doesn't have to have a very big part though. Before we start, please creat your character(s). I would like for there to be at least five pilots but I will be using two. There can be more than five because everyone can join and there also has to be some bad guys right?
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It was a dark and rainy morning. It had not yet begun to get light yet. Lightning flashed in the sky. Joe McKain exited the bus and entered the hanger across the street where the other pilots were waiting.
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(I'll give this RPG a shot, although I was hoping for a Ace Combat-style one. I always want to try my hand at different RPGs. Here are my characters:
Michael Keene AKA Shinobi: 24. Former Air Force pilot from Phoenix, AZ. Took training in California to become a Navy pilot.
Allen Cruise AKA Archer: 22. Co-pilot from San Diego, CA.
The F-14B they'll be riding is nicknamed the Silver Sparrow. Hope that info helps.)
Mike watched the rain through the bombay doors of the hangar, while Allen reads a book at a desk not far from their Silver Sparrow. Mike could see a silouhette (must check spelling) walking through the rain towards them.
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Joe walked into the hanger and dropped his luggage.
A loudmouthed man said, "Alright everyone, listen up! You'de better get use to flying in weather like this because we are being deployed to South America. It rains there a lot. The other pilots in the squadron are already aboard the Freedom. They boarded the ship in in San Francisco. Hey! You!"
He was yelling at a pilot with red hair.
He said, "Get your butt of the wing of that jet! You are Leiutenant Max Richard, right?
The pilot replied, "Yes, sir!"
THe loudmouth said, "You are a bonehead! I'm Captain Jack Wilson, your squadron commander."
He pointed to a man next to a C-1 Trader transport and said, 'That is Colonel Mac Jennings. We are your commanding officers. Put your luggage in the transport and grab a plane."
Mac said, "Captain, the transport is full. It won't hold any more cargo!"
Jack said to Joe, "It looks like you are going to have to carry your luggage in your plane. Lets go, men!"
Joe climbed into the fighter and closed the canopy. He started the engines and taxied out of the hanger. He was the first to get takeoff clearence. Joe punched the throttle and the plane took off into the stormy sky.
Max's plane came along side him and Max said, "Hey, don't I remember you from trining? You scored higher on your flight exams than anyone else."
Joe said, "Yeah. Maybe we should focus on flying to the ship. It will probably take some time to get there. It left last night.
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My characters:
David
Age: 20
Took training at Edwards Air Force Base in California. Pilot.
Cal
age: 19
Took training a Wright Airfield in Ohio. Co-Pilot
Lt. Cole
Age: 32
Has been in the Armed Forces for fifteen years. Tough as nails.
Weapon of choice: FN-P90 SMG
Sgt. Gabe
Age: 24
Has been in the Armed Forces for five years.
Weapon of choice: M-16 Assault Rifle
David is in the mess hall having dinner and Cal is sitting right next to him. "Did you see those tanks go up? BAM!" says Cal.
"Yeah, we wasted it pretty bad. Those terrorists didn't know what hit em." replies David.
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Their copmmanding officer said, "Relax. It was just a simulation. However, you guys are going to get your chance. We are all being transfered to Echo Island off the coast of Brazil. It is a U.S. owned island and has a a military base there for our operations. Some drug guy is getting out of hand and trying to start a war. He has his own personal military. I heard the navy is being deployed first. This asshole bombed our embessey (dammit I hate spelling) in Brasillia. We will only go fight is the navy can't handle them. Any of you have relatives in the navy?"
Meanwhile, the pilots had reached the Freedom and had beguin to land. Joe and the captain were the only ones still flying.
Jack said, "Alright, kid. Just go strait for the desk. Make an instrument approach and follow the LOS's (landing officer system) instructions. You'll do fine. I hope this storm lets up soon."
Joe lowered the tail hook, landing gear, and flaps and touched down on the deck. He taxied to an aircraft elivator and was lowered to the hanger deck. Jack announced the situation after he landed and told the pilots who they would stay with. Joe was bunking with Max.
Joe said, "Dibs on the top bunk!"
After a hot cup of coffee, Joe went back to the cabin. It had a sofa, an armchair, two bunks, a tv, a radio, a phone, two small dressers, two night stands, a table with two chairs, a DVD player with a VCR, a desk, a closet and a bathroom. The bathroom didn’t have it’s own shower though. The top bunk had a flat board above it where you could put things. It had a reading lamp attached to it. There was also a book shelf in the room. There was even a balcony.
Max said, "Look at this place. It is like a luxury cruise. Maybe this whole living at sea thing isn't so bad after all. I'm going to visit our squadron room."
Joe said, "I'm going to the ship's dinner."
Mak exclaimed, "A dinner? This ship has it all! I hear this is suposed to be the most luxurious ship in the navy. It has a chapple, of corse most ships do. A lounge, a tennis court, a bowling ally, a library, a gym, a pool, and now you tell me there is a diner too? This is an aircraft carrier, not a luxury cruise!”
Joe said, “There is also a bar and a coffee shop with doughnuts. This is the only ship in the navy with a bar. We are aloud two cups of any alcoholic beverage per day.”
Max said, "Well, if you change your mind, just come join us. I'm going to meet the rest of the squadron."
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"Uh, I my father's F-14 was shot down in Iraq two weeks ago." says David.
"I don't have any relatives in the Navy, Sir." says Cal. The commanding officer gets up from his seat and leaves the Mess hall. The two pilots finish eating and go back to their cabin. Dacid and Cal's cabin has a bunk bed and a TV with both an Xbox AND and Xbox 360 hooked up to it. David starts getting ready for bed.
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Two weeks later, the U.S.S. Freedom was nearing the coast of Brazil when the pilots were called to the briefing room.
A man in full military uniform stood in front of a screen on the wall. The briefing room had several digital screens on the wall. One showed the weather conditions and time, one showed the tactical map with targets and terrain, another screen showed photos of the targets if photos were available. Another showed information about the targets. Finally there was a dry erase board with a pull down screen. Images were shown on the screen from a wall mounted overhead projector. The screens suddenly lit up. Maps and charts appeared.
The man said, "Three C-5 Galaxy transport planes carrying soldiers to Echo Island Base have come under fire from unknown Mig-29s. Their escorts were shot down and the planes are defenceless now. However, they are far enough ahead of the enemy planes so that you have enough time to reach them and provide support. Defend those planes and don't let even one get shot down. They are carrying new recruits from a training base back in the U.S. Dismissed."
The pilots ran to their planes and took off.
Jack said, "Alright, team, don't worry. Remember what you learned in training and you should do fine. You are cleared to engage! David, you guys take those two over there! Joe, you and Max take the three up there!"
Joe asked Cal who was hi copilot, "Doing alright back there?"
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"Yeah, I'm doing fine." replies Cal.
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Joe said, "Alright, good. Hold on!"
He pulled up on the controls and the plane climbed higher. He fired the plane's guns at the enemy planes. After he flew over the enemy planes, Joe rolled the plane over. As the world turned upside down and the plane went back down.
Joe said, "Alright, Cal. Get ready to fire that missile. I could but I need to worry about flying this jet. When the target appears on the HUD, fire the missile."
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Max shot down an enemy when two more Migs got behind him. One fired at him but missed. No matter how hard Max tried, he could not shake them.
He said, "Dammit! Dogfighting sucks! Someone get these jerks off my butt!"
Jack said, "Hold on, Bonehead! I'll take care of them!"
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Shinobi and Archer had their own dealings with the MIGs as they joined the fray. The Silver Sparrow weaved in and out between the dogfighting planes, downing one bogey with a missile.
"Squadron Leader, this is Silver Sparrow," Shinobi spoke. "Three more MIGs have just appeared on radar from the cargo planes' six. We'll go swat them off."
The Silver Sparrow makes an immediate U-turn to intercept the enemy fighters.
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Max said, "Thanks for clearing my six, captain. I'll go give the others a hand."
He and Joe flew towards the transports and helped shoot down the other bandits. They were now over a group of islands. Just then, a group of F-16s appeared on radar. Reinforcements had arrived to protect the transports.
Jack said, "Alright, Raptor Squadron. Mission complete. I dought we'll get any medals for this but I just want to know who is responcible for the attack. Rturn to the ship."
In the Freedom's briefing room, the man said, "The escort mission was successful. We have recieved word that all transports reached base safely. Also, we have confirmed that Charvez Mazol, an international drug runner, is behind all attacks in this region. He has also taken over a part of Brazil and Colombia, calling it New Brazil. He has set up a socialist government there. We will have to deal with him at a later time. Dismissed."
The pilots all went to their squadron room. It had a wood table with four wood chairs, a sofa, a wide screen tv, some potted plants, a red tiled floor, a dvd and vcr player, a radio, a soda machine, and an X-box and PS-2. The games included some combat gamed. Max and Joe were playing Star Wars Battlefront II. Max flew an X-wing while Joe flew a TIE fighter. On the wall hung a banner with the squadron's logo. It was a circle. The upper half had a velociraptor while the lower half had an F-14 zooming by. The name Raptor Squadron CVF-221 was enscribed on a ribon across the bottom of the logo. There was also a list with the names of the current squadron members that hung on the wall. The logo also appeared on the sleevs of the pilot uniforms and on the tail and nose of the planes.
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(How about we slow it down some to keep the action hot when we go into battle? As well as get some interaction between players through the storyline.)
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Jack asked, "Hey, it is my turn to play the X-box. Me and Mac are going to play something now."
Max said, "Sure. Go ahead. I was going to play chess with Michael and Allen anyway."
Thunder rumbled outside. Joe got up and looked out the window. Dark clouds had filled the sky and a few drops of rain were landing on the window. He pushed a button and the blash shield closed over the window. It was meant to protect the window fron battle damage.
Max was complaining about sucking at chess.
Joe said, "I'm going to the coffee shop."
Colonel Mac Jennings (no relation to Peter Jennings) said, "Go ahead. I'm too busy with the game now. I'll go later. Hey, does anyone know where David and Cal are?"
(the story will pick up more soon. By the way, please no damaging or destroyind the carrier. I would like for it to survive because I have written stories about it and became kinda attached to it. Anything else is fine as long as the ship survives.)
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David is in the cabin playing Halo 2 on Xbox Live when Cal walks in. "So, how'd it go?" says David.
"Alright I guess. I didn't get a chance to shoot anything. I did have a chance to bomb an enemy Mig. But Damn it, I got over excited and fired the missle without checking to see if I had a lock on it." replies Cal.
"Bummer." replies David. Cal sits down, picks up an Xbox controller and starts playing along side with David.
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That night, Max was sitting at the table next to the porthole. He closed the shutter over it and said, "Oh what crappy weather. Rain couldbe heard pounding on the glass.
Joe, who had taken the book, Moby Dick, off the shelf, climbed into his top bunk and started to read where he last left.
Max asked, "Uh, so, you have anyone else in your family who is in the military?"
Joe answered, "Well, my brother is in the amry. I can't believe I didn't think of this! He may have been on one of those transports we saved today! Gish, good thing they all made it to the base safely."
Max asked, "Who is he?"
Joe answered, "Actually, he isn't my brother. He was adopted by my parents. He is Emith Smite. Emith is a Native American. His past is unknown to me. All I know is that his parents were murdered by some anti-indian racists. He was with a baby sitter at the time. His family didn;t live on a reservation. He was from a Chinook tribe. I dispize the people who did that to him."
Max asked, "So, he is like a half brother?"
Joe replied, "Yeah."
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
Max got up and opened the door and Cal and David were at the door.
Joe asked, "Oh, what brings you guys here this time of night?"
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"Nothing, Just wondering what you guys were up to." says David as he takes a sip of coffee from the mug in his hand.
"And we brought Halo 2." says Cal as he takes the game disc out of his pocket.
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Joe said, "Well, please keep the volume low if you are going to play tonight. I'm trying to sleep here. Never was a fan of 1st person shooters. Only 3rd person games for me."
Max said, "I tried to play that game once. I sucked. Drove a warthog off a cliff and kept dying. Those whatever you call ems kept getting me too. (no idea what the bad guys are called. My friend at school talks about all the time and I really drove a warthog off a cliff because I can't get the hang of X-box controls. My friend kept killing me.)
Joe said, "I might try it tomorrow. I'm just real tired."
He turned out the light above his bunk and pulled the covers over him.
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"Well, practice makes perfect." David says to Max as he puts the disc in the Xbox and picks up the controller. "Since you're a newbie I'll go easy on you." says David as Joe picks up a controller.
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Max actually got a few lucky shots. Suddenly, Jar Jar Binks appeared in the game and said, "Oh, muy-muy! I love you!" to Master Chief.
Max exclaimed, "WTF is he doing here? Kill him Kill that idiot! He screwed up Star Wars! Shoot him! Really, what the hell IS Jar Jar Stinks doing in Halo 2? Did one of you mod this disk?"
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"It certainly wasn't me!" says Cal, who is trying hard not to laugh. Suddenly, David starts laughing. He tries to hold it in as he takes out a shotgun and shoots Jar Jar in the chest at close range, then he starts shooting at the corpse of the Jar Jar AI bot until his magazine is empty.
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Just then, they heard the heavy breathing, then, Darth Vader appeared and said, "Master Chief, I am your father!"
Max said, "Oh, yeah right!" and blasted Vader in the chest and head with a machine gun until he died.
Then Max said, "Alright, turn off the Star Wars stuff. I like killing Jar jar and all but lets just play Halo 2."
Just then, Barney the Dinosaur appeared on the screena d sang, "I love you, you love me."
Master Chief said something about shooting Barney and he said, 'Now, now. Violence will solve nothing. Meet my minions, the teletubbies!"
Davis said something about this not really beiong Halo 2 but a disk about Master Chief killing his least favorite people.
Max said, 'Kill em all!" :lol
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"Wait a minute! This is the single player map I designed! And I never got a chance to beta test it!" Says Cal as he shoots two Tinky-Winky clones in the head with dual SMGs. Then, six Barnys spawn from the red base and charge towards David's orange Master Chief. David plugs them plugs them up with rounds from his battle rifle and decapitates the remaining Barney with and energy sword. Then, a whole bunch of Jar Jars spawn from the blue base and charge towards Max's MC. Max chucks a plasma grenade in the center of the swarm. The nade sticks to a Jar Jar's forehead and he starts running around in circles screaming, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" in the high, Squeaky voice of a Covenant Grunt. The plasma nade detonates and Jar Jars fly all over the place. "Oops, I still need to add a reaction voice to the Jar Jar bot." says Cal as he shoots a Dipsy clone in the head, "Bye bye, Dips**t!"
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Max shoots a Laa-Laa/Blaw Blaw clone in the heart. The teletubbie sinks to the ground and says, "Tubbie dead! Tubie dead!"
THen, the final fight. All the MCs dissapear and Max took control of George Bush and the other two got John Kerry and Hilery Clinton. Bush had a blue lightsaber, Kerry and Hilery had red lightsabers with Hilery's being a double blade.
Max screamed, "What the hell is this?"
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"This is the level where everyone is against..." Cal pauses for a second, "Wait a minute! I got it all wrong! The Republican party is red and the Democrat party is blue! Damn it!" Well, anyway, It's everybody against everybody. The last man standing wins. And I have a feeling you'll do well on it. Considering you're a big fan of Star Wars."
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Max stabbed Kerry and Kerry dissapeared. THen, he said, "You're going down, Hilery! Ain't no way you're running for president!" The two clashed until Max cut her lightsaber in half. Then, he decapitated Hilery.
Max went, "And the Republicans win again. I voted for Bush. Hey, he isn't even president any more. Why are people still making fun of him? Well, I'm tired now. See you guys tomorrow."
(This takes place in the year 2011. Bush wouldn't be president then. I'm kinda a right wing lunitic.)
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"We just let you win. Next time, we'll beat you." says David as he and Cal leave and go back to their cabin.
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Max said, "Well, that was fun. Beating Hilery and Kerry, Barney, the Teletubbies, Darth Vacer, and Jar Jarin one night. Well, I've had it for the night. No more politics though. Just strait out whoopass."
He turned out the lights and went to sleep.
Three days later, the squadron was called to the briefing room.
Briefing Guy, as Max called the guy, said, "Last night, a nuclear missile was launched at Santa Fe, New Mexico by enemy forces. Although the Brazillian Air Force intercepted and destroyed the missile and launch site, the U.S. has declared on New Brazil. Mazol has bribed a large part of the Brazillian military to join him and is recieving support Cuba. He gets a lot of his money from the drug trade. We have discovered a large factory where he manufactures these vile products and exports them around the world. Your mission is to completely destroy the factory. Do this and Mazol's drug industry will grind to a halt. You will use A-E Intruders for this mission because they carry the weapons required. You will recieve commands from an AWACS plane. Also, the A-6 is not a fighter so you won't be able to protect yourselvs from enemy fighters. You will have to refuel on the way to the target as this is a ong rang mission and the jets will not be equiped with drop tanks. Dismissed!"
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Archer and Shinobi raced to their plane to get ready for takeoff, waiting for their Captain and the rest of the team.
"I'm starting to wonder how this Mazol bastard's getting the resources to launch an attack like that," Archer said after a while.
"I'm more worried about what else he has in store," Shinobi replied. "One nuclear missile seems too small to be a full offensive. Something tells me this war's going to have some unpleasant surprises."
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Captain Jack Wilson climbed into the cockpit of an A-6 and Mac climbed into the seat next to him. Unlike the F-14 which had seats one behind the other, the A-6 had them next to each other. THe planes were lifted to the flight deck.
Joe was the last one on the catapult.
The controller said, "Raptor 7, you are cleared for takeoff."
Joe replied, "Roger!" and punched the throttle. The jet zoomed off the flight deck and climbed into the sky. As the planes formed up, Max said, "Hey, I bet this is the enemy's theme!"
He held up an I-pod in the window of the plane and then put it to the radio. The Inperial March (Darth Vader's theme) played over the radio.
Joe asked, "You have the Star Wars soundtrack on that thing?"
Max replied, "Yeah." as Across the Stars (the love theme from Episode II Attack of the Clones) played.
Three hours later, the planes came up on the KC-10 tanker plane. Jack and the others refueled first. Joe tried to bring the plane to one of the fuel hoses. THe cockpit canopy was small the the high control panel made it hard to see. Plus, the plane's fuel probe stuck up like a rhino's horn. It wasn't retractible. Finally, the plane connected with the tanker plane and began to refule. Then, they proceeded to the combat zone.
A voice on the radio said, "Raptor Squadron ,this is AWACS, callsigh Fire Streak. You are now under my command. We will activate our ECM jammer to prevent the enemy from picking you up on radar. You are cleared to engage."
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(Didn't know we were taking A-6s today :slap )
As they neared the combat zone, Archer catches something in the corner of his eye and turns to the right. "Archer to Squadron Leader. We have company coming from 3 O' Clock. 5 MIG-29s at least."
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Jack replied, "Oh crap. Everyone, proceed with the attack. Make your bombing run and duck behund that ridge over there. We have escorts inbound."
Joe bombed a couple of warehouses and then turned around to make another run. Max bombed a production facility and crop fields.
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Shinobi's bombs take out several trucks and jeeps, one building, and managed to take out an AA gun without it firing a single shot. Two more AA guns began to fire on the squadron as they passed.
"I think I just saw a SAM somewhere near the remaining trucks," Archer said as the plane went behind the ridge. "I don't know if it's armed."
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Suddenly, the SAM fired a missile at Max.
He said, "Why do they always shoot at me?!!"
He dodged it and fired an ait-to -ground missile at it. Jack said, "Hey, the reinforcements are here."
AWACS Fire Streak said, "Alright, continue with the operation. Leave nothing standing."
Jack said, "Alright, boys. You heard him Bomb the hell out of that factory!"
Max bombed the motorpool and another factory building.
Suddenly, a voice on the radio said, "Attention, aircraft over head. THe enemy has an electromagnetic pulse emmiter hidden throughout the jungle in this area. THey are preparing to use them. Climb above 2000 feet to avoid its effects. It will wipe out any electronics within a 1 mile radius that is below that altitude."
Joe asked, "Who are you?"
THe person answered, "I am a Brazillian spy. The weapon will fire in 10 seconds! Get to that altitude and wait for the pulse to pass before resuming the attack. I don't know where the devices are so you can't take them out now."
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OH, YOU'VE GOT TO BE F****** KIDDING ME!" screams David as he pulls up. The EMP emmits, the rest of the Raptor Squadron makes it out in time. But, David and Cal are too late. Their plane immediatley drops to earth. "Oh, shit!" screams Cal as their plane softly lands in the rainforest canopy.
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Joe asked, "Are you guys alright?"
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"This is Raptor 2. Do you copy?!" Cal screams into the radio, " I REPEAT, DO YOU COPY?!"
"Forget it. The EMP screwed everything. There is no way we can contact the rest of the squad." says David.
"GREAT! YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT WE'RE DOWN BEHIND ENEMY LINES WITH NO F****** CONTACT!" says Cal.
"Shut up!" whispers David, "Every time you open your trap you give our position away! Now I suggest we arm ourselves, get the hell down from this tree, get to the beach and wait for dust off!" David gets out a P90 from underneath his sead and loads it with a fresh clip. Cal gets out a Machine gun and slaps a fresh clip into it. "Now," says Cal, "How the hell are we going to get down frim here?"
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Joe saw enemy soldiers closing in on their position and fired his plane's guns at them. He was wondering why they didn't just use the emergincy radio that woulld have worked because it was turned off and not harmed. He tried to contact them on it.
Joe said, "Hey, are you guys there? We have to go. Be careful and we will come back as soon as we can."
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David hears the incoming message from the emergengy radio underneath his seat. "Shit, I forgot about the emergency radio." says David as he picks up the reciever. "Raptor 1, I read you. Our bird went down somewhere in the forest canopy. We are going to decend to the forest floor and head to the beach. Send reinforcments and a chopper for immediate dustoff. Raptor 1 out."
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David hears the incoming message from the emergengy radio underneath his seat. "Shit, I forgot about the emergency radio." says David as he picks up the reciever. "Raptor 1, I read you. Our bird went down somewhere in the forest canopy. We are going to decend to the forest floor and head to the beach. Send reinforcments and an Apache for immediate dustoff. Raptor 2 out."
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Max replied, "I have a better idea! I saw an airfiels about two miles from here. Why not just go there and jack some Migs? Escape in style. Besides, the beach isn't any where near here unless you count the Ammazon River."
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"Alright, besides, if we infiltrate and enemy base I will have more bad guys to shoot. Heh heh heh!" replies David, "Raptor 2 out."
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Jack said, "Stupid idea but there is no way to get a chopper in here. Plus, you can get out before they fire that damn EMP launcher up again. We'll cover you. You have to takt two of those Mig-21s. Both of you can fly, can't you? If so, just take off. THose jets can't land on the ship though. They're not desighed to. The LSO would like for you to ditch but why risk killing yourself crashing the plane in the water when you can just fly alongside the carrier and eject?"
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"Good idea," replies David, "First, we'll disable the EMP so they won't ground the rest of you. THEN we'll hijack the Mig." replies David.
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Soon, the dirty work was done and everyone was headed home, David and Cal each flying a Mig-21. THere were two of the and the mig was only one seat so there were two Migs.
Max said, "Oh, man. That was awsome how you guys did that."
Jack said, "Great job, guys. When we get home, I'll see to it personally that you get a medal and promotion. And COlonel McKain (Joe), that factory looked like a tornado hit it. From now on, your callsign will be Twister. Got that? Max RIchard, yours is Bonehead. David and Cal, you guys come up with your own callsigns because you have earned the privelage."
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"I got the most head shots," says David, "So I think I'll call myself, Brain Surgeon."
"I don't know what my nickname should be." says Cal.
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When they reach the ship, David and Cal bail out and are rescued. The crashed Mig is salvaged from the ocean. THat night, Max and the others were in the squadron room watching some special on the History Channel about the Titanic and the Britannic. (Just like I am right now.)
Max said, "Wow, look at this."
The camera was passing over the bow of the Titanic, encrusted in rusticles. Max said, "Hey, thai is where Leonardo said domething about being "king of the world".
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"Interesting, very interesting. I usually watch stuff on the Discovery Channel or the Sci Fi Channel." says David.
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Max said, "Here is something stupid. They think the Britannic was sunk by a mine because they said most u-boat captains wouldn't fire upon a hospital ship like that. But they sank the Lusitania which was an UNARMED PASSENGER SHIP! BS! By the way, that is the Titanic's sister. Also in a lot better shape than the Titanic."
Jack said, "Briefing Gay oops, er, I mean, Guy (I love turning typos into something funny) said the army will be invading New Brazil soon. Not ready yet. We will have to go in and take care of some more bad guys before the army can launch an amphibious assault."
Here is a link to a funny video site by Criss Rock. It is about how to not get your ass kicked by the police. Very funny. http://www.craigdeluz.blogspot.com/ (http://www.craigdeluz.blogspot.com/)
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The next day the Armed Forces invade the beach. "Listen up men!" yells Lt. Cole, "We're going in hot! Get ready to shoot everything that moves! This beach is heavily armed with powerful stationary guns, they're going to know we're coming. We'll show them all we got! We'll fill them full of lead, and blow chunks out of their corpses! Am I right soldiers?!"
"YES SIR!" Sgt. Gabe yells at the top of his lungs.
"DAMN RIGHT I AM!" screams Cole.
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The pilots of Raptor Squadron were called to the briefing room.
Briefing Guy announced, "THe army is launching an amphibious assault on a beach in New Brazil. Your mission is to provide them with support. The primary threats will be the MI-24 Hind assault helicopters which are capable of attacking both air and ground targets, and the anti armour pillboxes and bunkers on the beach. Take them out and protect our forces from any attacks. Be warned. A tropical depression has moved into the area and weather conditions at the landing site are very poor. The rough seas are making it difficult for the forces to land. Protect them as they land on the beach, cross a hill, and storm a fortress that they are to capture. Brazillian forces will be mixed in too so be careful not to hit our allies. Fly the F/A-18D hornet because of its large bomb and missile payload. You will also be armed with air-to-air missiles to attack the enemy Migs patroling the area. Watch out for stormy weather and see to it that that fortress is captured. Dismissed."
The carrier controller announced as Joe's plane was raised to the flight deck on the elevator, "Catapult crew, ready catapult for next craft."
the sky above the ship was cloudy but there was no rain yet. Joe taxied to the catapult. Cal, who was in the back seat of the two-seat fighter was checking all the instruments.
The crew hooked the plane up to the catapult and backed away. Joe was cleared for takeoff and the plane zoomed off the front of the Freedom. He joined up with the others. It wasn't long before they encountered the rain. Torrents of water pounded on the cockpit canopy as Joe tried to make out the beach. He could see flares from an AC-130 (modified C-130 transport) gunship to mark where the forces should land.
Just then, the AWACS operator came over the com.
He said, "Raptor Squadron, you are approaching the beach. (no sh*t sherlock!)
A J-STARS (joint strike targeting attack system. No clue what it means. SOme jet similar to an AWACS (airborn warning and control system) only it commands ground forces instead of aircraft) will be commanding the ground forces. THey will be sending you locations to attack. You are now under their command. Fire Streak, out."
The ground forces commander said, "Ah, you navy boys are right on time. Kick their asses so we don't get ours kicked."
Several of the marines and soldiers cheered as the jets passed overhead through the stormy sky. A bolt of lightning struck the mountains in the distance.
Max said sarcasticaly, "Ah. what a beautiful day. Enough of this bull@#$*! WHat @#$%& weather! I hate this!"
Jack said, "Shut up and attack those targets. The ground forces will take care of the AA guns and SAMs for us. I feel sorry for the guys that have to run through this #$@&."
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Six MI-24 Assault Helecopters charge at them head-on. "Uh-oh. Enemy helis coming in hot!" screams David over the radio, he presses a red button on the joystick, a missle releases and streaks towards an attacking helicopter, "Missle 1 deployed!" The helicopter tries to avoid the missle, but it has already homed on on its target. The missle detonates on impact and the helicopter's tail goes up in smoke. Cursing in Spanish is heard over the squad's radios as the heli spins out of control and explodes on impact with the ground.
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Joe and Max both Maneuvered into attack possition and blasted the other helicopters. Then, Joe bombed a couple of bunkers.
Just then, someone from the ground forces said, "This is Sergent McKain of Unit B. Requesting support."
Joe said, "Rick? Bro, is that you?"
The marine replied, "Joe? Wow! Hey, get your tail over here and provide my nit with some support."
Max asked, 'Joe, who is that?"
Joe replied, "My brother!"
As they destroyed the enemies attacking Unit B, six Su-37 Terminators arrived. The lead enemy pilot said, "Hmm, these enemy pilots are good. I'll take their leader myself. He flew as Jack's plane and opened fire with his machine guns. several bullets tore into the back of the plane and into the cockpit. Mac was killed by a bulled and Jack suddenly felt a burning pain and something wet running down his back. He reached back and pulled back his hand coveded in blood. Jack said to himself, "Oh shit!"
He tried to avoid the enemy plane but it was no use. then, a missile hit the F-18.
Joe saw this and said, "Captain! Bail out!"
Jack said, "I can't. The ejection seat was screwed up by the bullets. Sorry guys. Jeiutenant Colonel Joe McKain, you will lead the squadron now. I'm done for."
Joe asked, "What?"
Jack's plane started to fall apart. It crashed into the sea killing him instantly.
Joe and the others screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Max screamed, "DAMMIT! DAMN YOU COMMUNIST PRICKS!"
the AWACS operator said, "You still have a mission to carry out. Don't give up now. Leiutenant Colonel McKain, lead your squadron."
Joe replied as he started to chock up, "Yes sir. Kill the socialist facist pigs! Every single one!"
Max shot down two of the Su-37s. David and Cal engaged three of them. Joe fired at the leader and damaged his plane.
THe enemy piot said in English, "Damn you! We'll meet again."
The Su-37 dissapeared into the stormy sky.
Joe and the others continued through the battle.
Sorry about all the cussing. Just that military guys cuss a lot- F-14 Ace.
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"Damn them! Damn you Communist ***** to hell!" screams David as he and Cal waste all of their missiles on the opposing ground forces.
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Joe screamed as he fired at more enemies, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Die you worthless fascist scumbags!"
Max bobed some more enemies on the beach. Joe finished off the last bunkers.
THe AWACS opperator said, "Raptor Squadron, mission complete. We will return to Echo Island Base now. You are cleared to leave."
Joe sighed and said in a choked up voice, "Come on. Lets go home."
The planes turned around and headed back to the carrier.
Yes, I based this on Chopper's death scene in Ace Combat 5. Only in the game, it was more dramatic. CHarvez Mazol will not be delt with until the end of this RPG so don't allow the country to be taken completely back just yet.
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David is sitting at the bar and he is very pissed off about the battle. "Son of a bitch! I can't believe all of the shit that happened today. First our commanding officer gets shot down by those commie mother ******s, and then we run out of ammo!" Screams David. A bartender walks up to him. "Whiskey." David replies
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All the pilots then went to the squadron room. Joe said, "What are we going to do? We don't have a squadron leader anymore."
Max said, "Joe, buddy. He made you the squadron leader."
Joe replied, "That is not how it works. You actually have to get the patch and everything. They have to assign you to that role."
Max said, "I don'y care. Hey, didn't briefing guy say you would qualify as leader? I'd gladly serve under your command anyway. I'm with you."
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The ground forces have taken over the beach and formed an effective resistance. Leutenant Cole is briefing his platoon on their next mission. "ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MEN! THESE COMMUNIST BASTARDS HAVE STOLEN NUCLEAR WARHEADS FROM THE CUBANS AND PLAN TO START THE WAR BY NUKING THE STATE OF MONTANA!"
"Why Montana?" asks a random soldier at the table.
"BECAUSE MONTANA IS THE ONLY STATE IN THE US OF A THAT HAS THE NUCLEAR MISSLE SILOS STILL LEFT BEHIND FROM THE COLD WAR! THEY'RE TERRIFIED THAT WE'LL USE THE NUKES TO PUT AN END TO THIS FIGHT, SO THEY PLAN TO DO A PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE! WE DISCOVERED A SERIES OF MISSLE SILOS WAY DEEP IN THE RAINFOREST, JUST IN CASE ALL ELSE FAILS! WE NEED TO INFILTRATE AND DISABLE THESE MISSILE SILOS. THE RAPTOR SQUADRON WILL PROVIDE US WITH BACK UP! WE ATTACK A 0500!"
(Note: I put Lt. Cole's words in UPPER CASE letters because he is a gung ho fighter and the UPPER CASE letters are supposed to be rough and tough soldier talk.)
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THe pilots were really hoping that they would have a couple weeks without any combat ops. However, only one week after the beach landing, they were called to briefing again.
Briefing guy announced, "We have a very important mission at hand. The enemy has captured several nukes and is planning to use them on the stare of Montana. Somehow, they found out about our attack and have boosted security in the area. Your mission is to get to the launch site ahead of the ground forces and take out all enemy aircraft including Migs and Mi- 24s. You will also escort a flight of A-10 Thunderbolt attack planes that will destroy the enemy tanks and AA guns. Tonight, under the cover of darkness, the the troops will launch a surprise attack. They have moved the attack time to take the enemy by surprise. Protect the ground forces at all costs."
After takeoff, Joe said, "Alright, everyone. Lets all try to make it home today. Form up and follow me."
He guided his F-14 up to 14,000 feet.
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After the A-10s bombed the tanks the ground forces move in, Leutenant Cole and Sargeant Gabe move in with their forces and ease toward a heavily guarded missile silo. Cole takes out a P90 with a scope and silencer and aims for the head of a guard. A few seconds go by until he finds the right oportunity and plugs an one armour piercing round into the commie's skull. This action alerts more guards. Gabe takes out a grenade, pulls the pin and chucks it in the center of the cluster of guards, which are crowding around the corpse of their fellow guard. The frag detonates and body parts fly all over the place. "NOW!" screams Cole as he charges out of the bushes and opens fire.
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Just then, four F-14s flew overhead. Joe said, "Aright, attack those enemy helicoptors. Leave none flying. Damn, I wish the AWACS was watching the skys for us. Too bad they aren't here."
Max said, "Hey, Joe, um, I mean Twister, I see Migs on radar. Mig-21s and 29s approaching hot."
(please check out that link I posted earlier to that Chriss Rock site. That video was hilarious! :lol How to avoid getting your ass kicked by the piloce. Jump a subway turnstile and you get a warning. Do it with a loaded gun and smoking a joint, you get your ass kicked by the police. Please check out that link for a good laugh. :lol :^.^: :D :lol: )
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David fires a heat seeking missile at a kamikaze Mig. The shell detonates and the Mig disinegrates. "Nice shot!" says Cal.
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Joe said, "Oh, you sons of B@#$%&* are in for it now! Die!"
He blasted the wing off a Mig-21 Fishbed with his plane's gun. Then, he fired a missile at a Mig-29 Fulcrum. The plane was blown to bits. Max destroyed two planes at once with two missiles. Joe fired at a patrol jeep that was firing on the soldiers. Just then, ten Ka-50 helicopters arrived and began to attack the soldiers.
Joe pounded on the panel and said, "Damn the Russians for selling all these weapons to other countries. They were the ones that made the Migs, MI-24s, and these Ka-50 helicopters. Take them out!
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A while later, when nearly all of the migs and enemy ground forces had been eleimated. "Ground forces this is Raptor 2, all heavy artillery have been anihalated." says David. "Copy that!" says LT. Cole, "ALRIGHT LETS MOVE!" Cole, Gabe and their platoon head for the elevator next to the 20 foot wide silo hatch. Down at the bottom of the the silo four commie guards are sitting next to the elevator playing poker when the door opens and the commies are put under some serious fire. One guard runs for the emergengy phone, picks up the reciever and starts screaming something in Spanish when Cole draws his handgun, turns the guard around and shoots him in the forehead.
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Max asked the ground forces, "Uh, these nukes won't blow up if we shht them will they? After all, they aren't armed right now. Can't we just shoot the missiles?"
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"NO, WE NEED TO DISARM THE NUKES AND REMOVE THE WARHEADS BEFORE YOU BOMB THE PLACE OR YOU'LL VAPORIZE US ALL." says Cole.
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Just then, a nuke launched.
Joe said, "I'll take care of this one. I will chase it until I am over the ocean and target it from a safe distance. All I have to do is fire a long range missile at it. If we destroy it now, we'll be caught in the blast along with half the countryside."
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(ACCIDENTAL POST)
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Joe yelled, "I'm talking about the f***ing nuke that just launched and if you use a self distruct code, it will blow us all to hell! Lets wait until it is over the ocean and then kill it! The damn thing already launched."
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Six more enemy migs attack. "We'll take care of the migs!" says David.
(CRAP!! I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THE SAME REPLY TWICE! HOW STUPID CAN I GET! :bang )
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Joe asked, "Can you guys wait until the missile is over the ocean and then nuke it? I don't want to leave my squadron. Alright, boys. Lets kick their asses!"
A Mig shot a missile at Max.
He dodgen it and said, "I know you just did not shoot a missile at me, pinko commie asshole!"
He shot a missile at the Mig-21 and the pilot bailed out.
Joe shot down the last helicopter."
Max said, "Hey, it looks like they captured the facility."
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"OK! THE MISSILE IS APPROXAMATLEY 60km AWAY FROM THE ISLAND!! WE'LL MOP UP THE REST OF THEM!" yells David as he deploys two homing missiles. One hits a Mig-12 and the other hits a 29.
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Joe said, "Alright, lets go home. You army men take care of that missile now. Don't let it get away. There should be a self destruct control at the base. Raptor Squdron, return to base."
The planes returned to the carrier. After the rest of the planes landed, Joe requested clearence.
The controller said, "Raptor 7, begin landing checks. You are cleared to land."
Joe lowered his landing gear, tail hook, and flaps. The plane's wings slid into their strait out possition. The F-14 had wings that could vary their angle depending on the jet's speed and climb angle. THe flight deck of the Freedom was lit up with white lights and outlined with blue lights. The plane approached the deck. The sky was getting lighter to the east as dawn approached. Joe turned on the landing lights and touched down with a thud. The tail hook cought on the arrester cable s and jerked to a stop. THe cables helped to stop the speeding jet. Otherwise it would never be able to stop before going off the deck in time. Even though the ship was 1500 feet long, it was way to short for a plane to stop by itself.
Joe taxied his Tomcat to an elevator and was lowered to the hanger deck. He took off his helmet, lowered the ladder, and climbed out of the cockpit after shutting down all the systems.
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Lt. Cole, Sgt. Gabe and their platoon fight their way through a series of tunnels and other missile silos until they reach a heavy security door. Cole pushes a red button next to it. The door slides open and his soldiers charge into the room and start shooting at every guard in sight. There is a computer terminal with a large radar screen tracking the missile. There is a red button next to a keyboard. "This must be the self destruction mechanism." Cole says as he pushes it. The red blip on the screen dissapears and a loud boom is heard. "Wow, 60km away and we can still hear the blast." says Sgt Gabe.
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Joe went to the squadron room. Max was holding a bottle of wine.
Joe reached into fruit bowl and removed a peach and took a bite.
Max said, 'You know, those are the sweetest peaches I've ever had. Real good."
He turned on the tv and some lame horror movie was on.
Max said, "Uh, oh. Don't open that door! Don't open that door!"
There was the sound of a door creaking open, then a woman screaming followed by a gunshot. The screaming stopped and there was the sound of a body hitting the floor.
Max shouted, "I told you not to open that door! You never listen to me! Damn dumb blonde!" :lol :P:
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All of a sudden, the shockwave from the nuclear blast shakes the whole carrier. "Whoa! That must have been a huge warhead." says Cal.
(Speaking of Low budget horror movies, Right Now as I'm typing this I'm watching this hilarious Sci Fi show called Mystery Science Theatre. The show was taken off the air a while ago and you can only watch the episodes on DVD. It's a show where this guy makes fun of really bad horror movies. I'm pissing my pants laughing. :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol )
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Joe said, "What the hell was that all about?!"
Max seemed to have not noticed. Now, a dark figure was approaching a car where two teens were making out. the figure takes out a 12 guage shotgun, sticks it in the window, and shoots.
Max said, "Oh, come on! Who ets shot in a horror movie like that? How many murderers in the movies actually kill with a gun?! This is too stupid."
He changed the channel. Now there were two really fat goys wrestling. Max xhanged it again and there was an excercise program dipicting people who clearly had no need for it as they were studs instructing lard butts and nerds how to look like them.
Max shouted, "Is there anything good on? 1,000 channels and all that is on is crap!"
Joe heard an officer outside say the ship had sustained no damage and everything was working properly.
Joe said, "Well, at least those army guys got it. We shouldn't have felt it out here though. We are at least 200 miles from there."
Max said, "I hope those soldiers are alright. THey have to live in tents in that jungle with bugs and everything. Atleast we get cooled and heated cabins with beds and stuff. Those poor jarheads have to live in the weather and everything."
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Joe said, "Whatever. Just hope they are alright."
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Joe got up and said, "Well, I'm going to hit the shower and go to bed. Goodnight."
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"Good night." says David as he and Cal go back to their cabin.
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The next day, Joe returned to find that Max was in the squadron room killing Jar Jar in Halo 2 again. Suddenly, Jar Jar licked his character and the MC fell over dead. The message "WTF? YOU WERE JUST KILLED BY JAR JAR BINKS! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!"
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"Relax, it's just a game, he'll respawn." says David as he shoots a Tinky Winky clone in the chest.
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Just then, there was a knock on the door. Joe answered it and Admiral Stoat, the commander of the ship as well as the fleet, standing with a younge Native American man in a pilot uniform.
He said, "This is Sergent Alex THundercloud. He will be replacing Captain Jack Wilson. Take care of him. I'll leave him under your supervision, Colonel McKain."
With that, he left. Just then, there was the sound of Dip#@$& getting his/her guts blown out and squeeling.
Then, some Middle Eastern terrorist popped onto the screen and said with a redneck accent, "HOLY #%@$!" and then, was blown up with a rocket.
Alex looked at the tv and laughed as Barney was fragged with a plasma grenade.
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Alex said, "Hello, everyone."
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"Oh, hi!" say David as he pauses the game and puts down his controller.
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Alex said, "I'm from a Navajo reservation. I'm 19. Hey, let me try that.
He picked up the controller and started killing teletubbies, Barney clones, and Jar Jars. Soon, all of them were defeated and the final boss appeared. Suddenly, Micheal Jackson appeared on the screen and started dancing around.
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"I made this game myself, just added on this level a few days ago." says Cal as he shoots at Wacko Jacko with dual SMGs.
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After crushing Micheal, Alex said, "So, I would like to see the airplane I will be flying."
Joe said, "Alright, follow me."
They took the stairs up to the hanger deck. Joe led Alex to Jack's old F-14 (he was in an F-18 when he was shot down).
Joe said, "We will have the name on the plane changed to yours. This is your jet now. Try not to screw it up. These babies are getting hard to replace now."
He happened to glance out of the open elevator ports and saw that the sky was full of grey clouds. The sun was still visible but just barely.
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"Looks like it's gonna rain." says David
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That night, all the pilots were gathered in the dining hall. Max was digging in to his Swiss steak and Joe was finishing up his dinner. It never did rain but the sky was still full of clouds. The weather reports said that the weather would clear up.
Joe said, "Hey, I hear they are sending us on patrol tomorrow night in an area of Peru. THey are involved in the war now too. Hear they produce Marajuana for Mazol."
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"Great, another drug dealer? Good god." says Cal.
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Max said, "Well, at least hurricane season is over so the weather probably will get better. But it is almost always raining in the rainforest. I mean like, every 10 minutes or so."
Joe said, "Well, just be glad that Charvez Mazol's military sucks. We don't have to worry about any more nukes either."
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Max and Joe went to the bow of the carrier. Air operations were closed for the evening so they didn't have to worry about getting hit by launching aircraft.
Max stood up on railing and shouted, "I king of the world! :lol
Joe replied, "Hey, "King of the world", get off there before we get in trouble.
Max climbed down and said, "Oh, man. Kill joy."
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Meanwhile, David and Cal are playing the real Halo 2 on Xbox live, when Alex comes in.
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Alex asked, "So, who are you killing now?"
He saw Santa Claus kicking Barney in the groin.
Barney said in a nerdy voice, "Ahh, my groin!"
Santa took oput a shotgun and blasted him.
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(It's the real Halo 2 they're playing, not the modded disc.) "Damn you're good." says the guy who is playing against them. "Some n00b online." says David.
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ALex said, "Watch out for that Covie behind you! Oh, man! it got you! Damn!"
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"The n00b is the elite." says Cal as he sneaks up behind him with an energy soward and stabs him.
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The nexy night, the squadron was armed and sent on patrol. As they were patroling, an SOS came over the radio.
"Mayday! Mayday! This is Aor Argentina flight 244. Need help ASAP!"
The AWACS responded, "This is AWACS Fire Streak, Air Argentina, please discribe your situation."
The passenger plane replied, "We were fired upon by unmarked fighters. We have lost cabin pressure and had to decend. We are making our way to an airport nearby but are still being persued."
The AWACS oporator replied, "We are sending friendly fighters your way. Raptor Squadron, defend that plane at all costs!"
Joe answered, "Roger!"
Max shouted, 'Those commie bastards! They're attacking a defenceless passenger plane!"
Joe said, "I have visual on the plane up ahead."
The plane said to its attackers, "This is Air Argentina flight 244, we're carrying civillians! Hold fire! Repeat! Hold your fire! We have civillians aboard! Dammit, they're not listening!"
Joe said, "Hold on! I'm comming!"
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"COME AND GET US YOU MOTHER F***ERS!!" Screams David as he fires a missle at one of the attackers. The the missile explodes on impact with the fighter.
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Max shouted to the enemy fighters, "Oh, some heros you are! I bet your mama is real proud! After all, it must be a real challange shooting at an unarmed passenger plane. Ever heard of honor, cowards?"
An enemy replied, "You will die for that comment!"
Max said, "Bring it on,you pinko commie PRICK!"
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"ROT IN HELL YOU SHIT-HEADED, GOAT F****** ASSHOLE!" Yells David as he shoots down the opposing enemy with a homing missile.
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The lead enemy pilot said, "Let me deal with their leader. You take the others."
Joe said, "Alex, if you get an asshole that you can't shake, let one of us know. We'll get rid of it."
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"DIE!" screams Cal as he blows up a mig with a missile.
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Alex fires a missile and hits a Mig.
Then, the lead enemy plane, which was an Su-37, a more maneuverable jet than any Mig or F-14, got on Joe's tail.
Joe tunred but could not shake the plane. He hit the air breaks and the jet slowed. THe enemy plane flew right over him and he got a lock on. Joe fired a missile and shot down the enemy fighter.
He said, "Well, mission accomplished. That passenger jet mde it to base safely. But all those enemy bastards bailed out."
The enemy pilot said over his emergincy radio, "I'll get you for this! The 257th never loses!"
Max replied, "Well, it looks like you just did, sucka!"
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"YEAH! ROT IN HELL COMMIE!! ROT IN HELL!!!!" yells David over the radio.
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After the pilots retunred to the ship, Max and David were playing the fake Halo 2 thing again.
Just then, the Blue's Clues theme song played, Steve popped up on screen and stuck out his middle finger at MC and said, "I wasn't playing with myself in the bath tub!"
Every time he stuck his finger up, MC lost some health. Just then, Blue arrived and started running at him.
Max said, "Here is a clue, dumbass! Don't run at a guy with a loaded gun!"
He blasted Blue. Then, Steve said again, "I wasn't playing with myself in the bath tub!"
(the animal one has been updated too, btw.)
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"Uh oh. My shield's down." says David as he shoots Steve in the head with a sniper rifle.
(You got that off the parody on newgrounds didn't you? That flash is hilarious! :lol )
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Yes! I loved it! :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
Anyway, then, the Wiggles spawned.
Max whined, "Oh, do I have to shoot them? THe Wiggles are the only childrens tv show characters that don't promote homosexualety."
Just then, Barney's voice said, "Give me a hug!"
Max yelled, "WTF?"
Just then, the view turned around and Barney was right behind him. Barney grabbed his MC and hugged it saying, "Awwwwwww! I love you."
The screen blacked out and the message "WTF??? YOU WERE JUST KILLED BY BARNEY!" appeared.
(please post in the animal one too. I don't want to forget about it.)
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David shoots Barney in the head with a shotgun and the Barney AI falls in defeat.
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David shoots Barney in the head with a shotgun and the Barney AI falls in defeat.
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Just then, Max got a message saying "new player unlocked!"
Boba Fett, the bounty hunter from Star Wars, appeared on the screen.
Max said, "Sweet!"
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Joe asked, "What are the Wiggles doing on that game?"
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"Oh, because they are soooo immature. I go grazy just hearing the name." Says David as he shoots that dinosaur girl in the face.
(I haven't seen a single Wiggles episode for well over two years. :DD )
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Boba Fett/Max said, "You have 10 seconds to get your asses out of here!"
The Wiggles all got in the Big Red Car but before they could leave, Fett launched a missile from his jetpack and blasted them all into oblivion. Then, Baby Bop ran around with her blanket. Fett burned it with his flame thrower. Baby Bop screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKET!!!!!!!!!"
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"Say hello to my little friend!" yells David as he shoots her in the chest with a shotgun.
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Joe said, "Well, I'm going to the gym now. Need to work out more.
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"Me too, I'm starting to get flabby playing these games." says David as he puts down his controller and turns off the Xbox.
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Max was punching a punching bag that he tapd a picture of Charvez Mazol to.
He yelled as he punched and kicked it, "DIE, YOU SOB! BURRN IN HELL!"
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David decided not to go to the gym, but to the shooting range in the belly of the ship. He grabs an FN P90 and starts shooting at a picture Charvez Mazol. "Dumbass ******* commie. WTF it wrong with his sick, twisted mind?!"
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Max complained that morning at breakfast, "Man, I'm going to have the worst insomnia ever. All these night missions are screwing up my sleep cycle."
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Just then, analarm sounded and a voice shoputed on the speaker, "Attention, all pilots, on deck! Grab any plane you can get and take off ASAP!"
Max shouted, "Dammit!"
By the time they got to the hanger deck, someone else had taken up their F-14s. Joe said, "Cal, David, you take that F-18 D. Max and Alex, you go in those F-18 Cs. I'll take tis F-18 E!"
After they took off, the pilots were told that a large group of enemy fighters was inbound.
Max said, "Damn you commie basterds!"
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"DIE YOU MOTHER ******* COMMIES! DIE!" screams David as he shoots down an enemy fighter with a homing missile.
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An ergent radio announcement said, "This is the destroyer Eagle, we are being targeted! Get these jerks away from us!"
Another said, "This is the cruiser Fisk, a missile hit the water just off owr bow! No damage."
Joe said, "Lets take them out before they do any damage. protect the Freedom It is the most important.
Just then, they all heard, "This is the Fisk, light damage from missile hit off bow. We've been hit again in the stern! The aft deck has been blown away!"
The attacking fighters fired at the Eagle and then turned around for another pass.
Alex said, "Here they come again. The stubbern little bastards.
Then, they heard again, "This is the cruiser Fisk! We took two more hits to the stern! Taking on water! We're sinking! All hands abandon ship at once!"
Joe looked at the cruiser that was sinking by the stern.
Alex yelled, "Dammit! They got the Fisk!"
Joe said, "Alright, protect the Freedom! Give em one for the Fisk!"
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"You protect the freedom, Cal and I will ward the communist bitches away from the Fisk and give the passengers enough time to escape." says David as he and Cal storm into the fleet of enemy fighters attacking the Fisk.
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Joe said, "Alright, everyone, shutup and start shooting."
He flew after a Mig-21 and downed it easily with his guns. Alex shot down a Mig-29.
He said, "I hit it! Splash one!"
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"Screw this!" yells Cal as he shoots down an enemy Mig.
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Max said, "Uh, I've got multiple hits on my radar. More enemy aircraft inbound. We have Nimrod Mk.2 anti-ship bombers! 10 of them!"
Joe said, "Oh great. Take out those bombers now!"
Alex replied, "I'm on it!"
The other pilots took over protecting the ships.
Joe adjusted some of the instruments in the F-18's cockpit. The altimiter wasn't set right. He got a lock on a Nimrod and fired.
He said, "Nimrod shot down!"
Max fired a missile and said, "Nimrod in the side pocket!"
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"Pilot to bombedeer! Pilot to bombedeer! I got one right in my sights!" says Cal as he fires a missile at a nimrod.
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Joe was trying to fix a malfunctioning instrument when an enemy fighter got behind him and fired. A few bullets tore into the fighter's wings.
Jo shouted, "Dammit!" and turned the aircraft to avoid more hits. He slowed down and the Mig flew over him. Joe locked on and fired a missile. Then, he shot down another nimrod.
(btw, I posted some in the star wars rpg too.)
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"We got you covered Joe." says David as he flies behind Joe.
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Max fired a missile at one of the last three planes.
As it hit the water, he said, "Goodby, wanks!"
Soon, the last of the bombers had been finished. The pilots landed back on the ship.
Joe said, "Alright, lets go get some sleep before anything else happens. THat is three times in one 24 hour time."
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"I'm going to stay up and kill some newbies on Xbox Live." says David.
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Max said, "You kill noods? Man! I'm just too tired. I need sleep now."
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"You know what I mean. Halo 2 isn't fair. If you're a n00b, you'll get shot up a lot. And there are also a lot of crazy people on the internet." says David.
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It was only a couple days later when the pilots were called to the briefing room yet again.
THe briefing man, who Max had nicknamed "Briefing Guy", announced, "We have confirmed reports that Charvez Mazol is holding a village hostage and is forcing the civillians to work as slaves in his drug plant there. Two army CH-47 transport helicopters will fly in and drop off a team of commandos to infiltrate the area and rescue the civillians. Your mission is to provide them cover as the helicopters move in to airlift the people out of the area. Then, bomb the production facility. This is to be done by the book. DO NOT SCREW THIS UP OR A LOT OF INNOCENT PEOPLE WILL GET HURT! Wait until the soldiers confirm that the civillians are out of danger before attacking the facility. Use F-22 Raptor jets with stealth capabilities to sneak in ahead of the helicopters. YOur planes will be armed with two missiles and two bombs so use them wisely."
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Later that afternoon, they took off on their mission. "Hey, Max!" David shouts over the radio.
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Yeah? What is it?" Max replied.
(btw, the animal rpg needs another post now too.)
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"I was in the basketball court with my girl friend Linda the other night, and I said, "Jeez you got a big p****. Jeez you got a big p****." and she said "Why did you say it twice?" and I said I didn't it was because of the echo. Get it?" David says over the squak box.
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Max replied, "What? I don't get it. I'm not into sex and stuff."
(max ain't too bright. But Oh my gosh! :lol: David might have to explain it to Max because Max is a n00b.)
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"I said it twice and covered it up by saying that it echoed off the gym wall." says David.
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Joe interupted, "Alright, guys. Break it up. I wonder if those commandos are the same ones from before. Man, this Mazol bastard really pisses me off. I'd like to blast him into a smoking crater on the ground."
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"UH-OH! LOOK SHARP PEOPLE! ENEMY MIGS ON APPROACH!" yells David as he blows a mig out of the sky with his machineguns.
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Alex said ,"But guess what? We are flying stealth planes. They can't lock onto us."
He used his guns to blast an oncomming mig.
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Joe said, "Lets kick their asses!"
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David fires a missile at a mig and explodes on impact, "OWNED B****!"
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Joe flew his F-22 behind an enemy plane and opened fire with his machine gun. The enemy plane burst into slames and blew up. The rest of the planes fled.
Max said, "Thats it! Run you spineless cowards!"
Joe said, "Alright, there is the target ahead. Use these bombs carefully and only hit the AA guns. We don't want to hit any buildings.
"
He dropped one of the bombs bombs and took out four aa guns that were in blast radius of the bombs. Max and Alex did the same.
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"YEAH SPINLESS LIKE A JELLYFISH!" yells David as he shoots down a fleeing Mig with a missile.
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Joe said, "Alright. All the AA guns are taken care of. Here comes the army helicopter. The soldiers will secure the area and rescue the civillians. We have to keep that helicopter safe while they rescue them."
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Joe said, "Alright, everyone. Keep the chopper safe until they get done down there. it might be a while."
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"ALRIGHT MEN! PILEOUT! GO, GO, GO!" yells Lt. Cole as he deboards the copter and loads a fresh clip into his P90. It isn't long before his platoon is confronted by Guerilla (Is that spelled right?) soldiers and caliber bullets. Lt. Cole shoots away at the enemy, severing the torsos of his targets with this gun.
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Max said, "Hey look! Tanks! Lets take them out!"
He flew down and fired his machine gun at them. The bullets hit the ground, kicking up dust and then, the tank exploded as several bullets tore into it."
Alex said, "Hey look! More of them! And a mobile radar unit. Not that it will help. We're stealth!"
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Lt. Cole takes out a Rocket Launcher, aims for a tank and launches the artillery. the Tank explodes after two shell. "YEEEEEHAAAAAW! OWNED B****!" Cole yells as he shoots a commie in the head.
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Joe flies his F-22 just above tree tops and starts shooting at enemy vehicles that are approaching the village. He takes out a bridge that blocks them from crossing the river.
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Joe said, "Come on, guys! Hurry up and get those people out of there. I'm getting low on weapons."
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(Hey, are all the characters in this RPG humans?)
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(yes)
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(Okay. I wasn't sure.)
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LT Cole snkeaks up behind a commie guarding the hostages and riflebutts him in the head, killing him instantly. More commies come out of hiding and starts shooting at the soldiers. "OPEN FIRE!" yells Cole as he lets 'er rip with his P-90. In minutes, all of the commies are dead and 11 US soldiers are left standing. "ALRIGHT SOLDIERS! GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE!" yells Cole.
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Joe asked, "Are you all clear now? Wr'd kinda like to get out of here soon. I'd like to catch the evening news."
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my characters
col Charles Bartini callsign vulture age 45 sereved in veitnam war on uss constellation flying the f-4 phantom 2 now flying a f-35 won topgun award
1lt Ricky Nelson callsign terminator age 29 served in bosian campaign flying a fa/18 hornet
Hey vulture! been a while since i've seen you. Well terminator i see you made it through the academy. bearing 315 enemy fighters approaching. looks like they are heading for the carrier group. rodger. uss freedom enemey aircraft approaching. this is red 1 of red squadren
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Max shouted, "An enemy attack? What the hell?"
The CIC said, "Raptor Squadron, engage the enemy if you see an chance!"
Joe replied, "Negative. We are too low on fuel. That is unless you want these F-22s to end up in the drink. (sure the navy doesn't use F-22s but this IS fantacy, right?)
Joe continued, "Have our F-14s ready when we arrive. Over."
In a few minutes, the pilots were back in the air in their F-14D Tomcats.
Joe said, "Red Squadron, this is Captain Joe McKain of Raptor Squadron, we will be joining you shortly. How many enemied are there? What type of planes are they using?"
(occ: Would you like to join my animal rpg? It needs another member before I can continue with it.)
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this is vulture there's 200 su-47 100 su-37 i have been up agianst more than this.
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(occ: Would you like to join my animal rpg? It needs another player before I can continue with it.)
Joe said, "No there isn't. THere are only five su-37s and... Yeah, there are a couple of Su-47. The guy we are dealing with is a drug lord. How does he afford this crap? Time for some whoopass! Raptor Squadron, enguage!"
Max replied, "Roger that, sir!"
Alex said, "Yes sir. Preparing to fire missile."
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(yes i would like to join) Sorry just having flash back from nam that's all termainator engage rodger!
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Joe replied, "Alright, lets wade in!"
Max fired a missile at one of the Terminators and watched as it blew up. Alex got withen gun range of a Su-37 and opened fire. Joe nailed an Su-47 and watched as it fell apart. He saw a parachute and figured that they would have a prisoner now.
He asked, "Hey, how are you other guys doing? We have 3 kills so far.
(have you ever played any of the Ace Combat games? They are awesome. Btw, the animal rp is called Beasts of the American West, just so you'll know which one it is.)
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i've gotten two terminator has one. damn it! i've been hit! terminator how bad is it? left engine has been hit. It's burning shut it down! Rodger (yes i have played ace combat 1,4,5,and zero.i give 5 and zero an equal rank.)
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the 4 enmey planes fly ahead termainator arms his remaning missles and says "nobody hurts my flight lead." fires his missles destroying all but one. the remaning plane retreats. alright the last enmey is leaving lets' head to the carrier follow me people.
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Joe said, "They must be getting desperate launching random attacks like that. I'm so sick of that Charvez Mazol bastard."
He and the others turned towards the ship to land.
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Have you seen this video? A funny one involving a teletubby. You know what that must mean. :lol:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZbZZQ9bwp8...etubbies%20dead (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZbZZQ9bwp8&search=teletubbies%20dead)
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hey if we ever capture him leave him to me. also getting him will be the hard part. my younger brother was in the cia. he was the drug lord's cook. then one day something happened. i lost my other brothers in nam and the the first gulf war.
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yes i watched the video :lol :lol :lol :lol
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why is that vulture? looks at termaintor. or is the question indiscreet? no the question not indiscreet but the answer might be.
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well as soon as my jet is repaired we'll go up. execuse me sir. yes 1st lt what is it? uhh the mechanics told me to tell you your plane is no longer flyable. i guess i'll be forced to fly a f/a-18e. if you want my i'll be in my cabin. walks off deck. yelling in ittalian.