Forum Improvements - April 2022 (April Fools 2022)

[rhombus]

Good morning everyone!

As you know, this forum stays online due to the generous donations of our supporters on Patreon.  We admins are always striving to use those contributions to make improvements to the forum based upon your feedback.  It is with that in mind that we are pleased to announce a massive improvement to the forum experience! 

Starting today we are opening the GANG OF FIVE MERCHANDISE STORE!

Before I show you the link to our new storefront, let me introduce you to some of our products that I am sure will be in high demand...

The Ruby Answering Machine
Tired of missing important messages?  Old-fashioned enough to have a landline, but still want to be connected?  Well, then Ruby has you covered!  Just like our favorite fastrunner, this fabulously pink answering machine will repeat your voicemails until you tell it to stop!



Rhombus All-purpose Server Repair Kit
As an admin of the forum for six years, Rhombus has had his fair share of technical difficulties.  From compulsory server migrations, to coding errors, to random spamming attacks... he has seen it all.  But what does he do when the people who actually know how to handle computers are away?  Why, he turns to his handy dandy All-purpose server repair kit, of course!  This is the only server repair kit that is suitable for all occasions and which is easy enough for even the forum’s resident boomer to use.  Now you too can have this server repair kit to fix anything which might trouble your PC!

(Not responsible for permanent computer damage or physical injuries)



Zen Meditation for Threehorns
Did you know Cera was religious?  Well, neither did she!  In this wonderful book Cera will teach you the benefits of Zen practice and how mastery of its teachings can allow you to overcome the biggest boulders, the toughest trees, or the flattest of heads!

 

The Sensitive Heart: Taunt’s best love songs
We all know that fastbiters can sing, but few have heard the lovely melodies of fastbiter love songs.  Well, Taunt is here to broaden your horizons and to wow you with his award-winning ballads!  This album includes such tender classics as ‘Screeeeeee!!!’, ‘You are more beautiful than a spiketail’s spleen’, and ‘We’re the only two fastbiters in the ravine, so why don’t we settle for each other?’.

 

Ducky’s Mom Teaches Multiplication
If there is one thing that we know about swimmers, it is that they can certainly multiply!  This amazing ability comes naturally to swimmers, but doing multiplication problems can be challenging to others.  Well, Mama Swimmer and her 144 children will help teach you how to do multiplication up to a fifth-grade level in this wonderful program!

(Not to be confused with Chomper’s Mom Teaches Subtraction, which is NOT appropriate for children)



Sauro-Guide GPS System:
Look, we know it is embarrassing, but we have all been there.  You are a longneck herd leader and you should know your direction... but that ravine looks suspiciously familiar to one you passed a few days ago... This is why we have made the Sauro-Guide GPS system.  Using state-of-the-art rainbowface satellite technology, you can now pinpoint your exact location within seconds!  And best of all with its flyer-like design, no one ever has to know that it is technology that is actually leading your herd.


And, no, we have not neglected your numerous requests... we do have Rhett T-shirts in stock!

      

You can find the link to our online marketplace HERE

[Taunt]

Thank you for including my new album!  Despite some minor setbacks (and Stern Claw destroying the first recording) we finally got the studio to approve the release.  I've heard that it is really popular with the spooks for something called 'enhanced interrogation techniques' which sounds like a very interesting type of dance party! In any case, I hope that you all enjoy!

[chomper94]

That’s amazing!  But how can a dinosaur like me get all of the whatever currency that is to get this?!

Thank you for including my new album!  Despite some minor setbacks (and Stern Claw destroying the first recording) we finally got the studio to approve the release.  I've heard that it is really popular with the spooks for something called 'enhanced interrogation techniques' which sounds like a very interesting type of dance party! In any case, I hope that you all enjoy!

Did you have a favorite song while recording your album legendary Taunt?

[Taunt]

That’s amazing!  But how can a dinosaur like me get all of the whatever currency that is to get this?!

Thank you for including my new album!  Despite some minor setbacks (and Stern Claw destroying the first recording) we finally got the studio to approve the release.  I've heard that it is really popular with the spooks for something called 'enhanced interrogation techniques' which sounds like a very interesting type of dance party! In any case, I hope that you all enjoy!

Did you have a favorite song while recording your album legendary Taunt?

I would have to say that 'Screeee!' was by far my favorite song during recording.  It is one of those songs that truly moves the heart, so I could only sing it at just the right moment when everything is still and all is quiet, which just so happens to be at 2 am in the morning when the rest of the pack is asleep.  What was great about the recording that I actually used in the album was that the pack really got into that recording, adding roars, shouts, and grunts of their own!  It is always nice to see the pack get into a song like that! 

[Mouse-a-saur]

Oh thank goodness, just what I needed for my office! I can't wait for Ruby to read me back detailed aviation equipment instructions! 

[somerandomfangirl]

Ooh amazing! I was just thinking I needed to get a new CD to listen to on the commute to work. 

And I'll put in 10 orders for Rhett t-shirts, please. 

[ManOfWar GT]

im about to turn into a rhett stan because of this lol.

[somerandomfangirl]

im about to turn into a rhett stan because of this lol.

Yes, join us. 

[ManOfWar GT]

no. rhett is a sussy dino.

[chomper94]

im about to turn into a rhett stan because of this lol.

Yes, join us. 

Just got my Rhett shirt, on my way to the Rhett fan club.

[Sneak]

Shut up, take my money, and give me Taunt's love songs! Roar!

Add to cart button doesn't work. Must be server problems due to enormous amount of site users who want to buy GOF stuff.

[Gentle Sharptooth]

The Rhettians have returned…

*Sharpens claws and polishes teeth*

[rhombus]

Oh, forgot to add the obligatory "April Fools!" on April 2 but I suspect everyone got that already. 

[chomper94]

Oh, forgot to add the obligatory "April Fools!" on April 2 but I suspect everyone got that already. 

Honestly, that joke was really good.  It made me wish all of that merchandise was real, even though dinosaurs can’t afford that stuff.

Now if only I could listen to Taunt’s “Screeee!” in real life…

[Gentle Sharptooth]

I’ll take a Sauro-Guide GPS. Maybe it can help me find some more dinners in the Mysterious Beyond where I can eat red food. 

[Sneak]

Button is still not fixed...
When will I be able to order Taunt's Love Songs?
 

[Gentle Sharptooth]

One of Taunt’s love songs:

“You’ll never find.. as long as you live, someone who loved you! The way I do.”

[The jewelstone queen]

I looked at this pretty late lol

Been waiting on a Rhett t shirt, 'bout time it showed up!

I'll have to agree that Taunt's album rocks, the screeches hit hard and and lyrics is just beautiful.  What a masterpiece.

[Sneak]

Still waiting... 

[Gentle Sharptooth]

I want a Sharptooth hat where the brim is his teeth.