Raptor Squadron

F-14 Ace · **Reply #20 on:** February 26, 2006, 02:00:57 AM

Max actually got a few lucky shots. Suddenly, Jar Jar Binks appeared in the game and said, "Oh, muy-muy! I love you!" to Master Chief.
Max exclaimed, "WTF is he doing here? Kill him Kill that idiot! He screwed up Star Wars! Shoot him! Really, what the hell IS Jar Jar Stinks doing in Halo 2? Did one of you mod this disk?"

Cyberlizard · **Reply #21 on:** February 26, 2006, 02:09:38 AM

"It certainly wasn't me!" says Cal, who is trying hard not to laugh. Suddenly, David starts laughing. He tries to hold it in as he takes out a shotgun and shoots Jar Jar in the chest at close range, then he starts shooting at the corpse of the Jar Jar AI bot until his magazine is empty.

F-14 Ace · **Reply #22 on:** February 26, 2006, 02:24:16 AM

Just then, they heard the heavy breathing, then, Darth Vader appeared and said, "Master Chief, I am your father!"
Max said, "Oh, yeah right!" and blasted Vader in the chest and head with a machine gun until he died.
Then Max said, "Alright, turn off the Star Wars stuff. I like killing Jar jar and all but lets just play Halo 2."
Just then, Barney the Dinosaur appeared on the screena d sang, "I love you, you love me."
Master Chief said something about shooting Barney and he said, 'Now, now. Violence will solve nothing. Meet my minions, the teletubbies!"
Davis said something about this not really beiong Halo 2 but a disk about Master Chief killing his least favorite people.
Max said, 'Kill em all!"

Cyberlizard · **Reply #23 on:** February 26, 2006, 02:42:23 AM

"Wait a minute! This is the single player map I designed! And I never got a chance to beta test it!" Says Cal as he shoots two Tinky-Winky clones in the head with dual SMGs. Then, six Barnys spawn from the red base and charge towards David's orange Master Chief. David plugs them plugs them up with rounds from his battle rifle and decapitates the remaining Barney with and energy sword. Then, a whole bunch of Jar Jars spawn from the blue base and charge towards Max's MC. Max chucks a plasma grenade in the center of the swarm. The nade sticks to a Jar Jar's forehead and he starts running around in circles screaming, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" in the high, Squeaky voice of a Covenant Grunt. The plasma nade detonates and Jar Jars fly all over the place. "Oops, I still need to add a reaction voice to the Jar Jar bot." says Cal as he shoots a Dipsy clone in the head, "Bye bye, Dips**t!"

F-14 Ace · **Reply #24 on:** February 26, 2006, 02:47:55 AM

Max shoots a Laa-Laa/Blaw Blaw clone in the heart. The teletubbie sinks to the ground and says, "Tubbie dead! Tubie dead!"
THen, the final fight. All the MCs dissapear and Max took control of George Bush and the other two got John Kerry and Hilery Clinton. Bush had a blue lightsaber, Kerry and Hilery had red lightsabers with Hilery's being a double blade.
Max screamed, "What the hell is this?"

Cyberlizard · **Reply #25 on:** February 26, 2006, 02:55:24 AM

"This is the level where everyone is against..." Cal pauses for a second, "Wait a minute! I got it all wrong! The Republican party is red and the Democrat party is blue! Damn it!" Well, anyway, It's everybody against everybody. The last man standing wins. And I have a feeling you'll do well on it. Considering you're a big fan of Star Wars."

F-14 Ace · **Reply #26 on:** February 26, 2006, 03:00:29 AM

Max stabbed Kerry and Kerry dissapeared. THen, he said, "You're going down, Hilery! Ain't no way you're running for president!" The two clashed until Max cut her lightsaber in half. Then, he decapitated Hilery.
Max went, "And the Republicans win again. I voted for Bush. Hey, he isn't even president any more. Why are people still making fun of him? Well, I'm tired now. See you guys tomorrow."

(This takes place in the year 2011. Bush wouldn't be president then. I'm kinda a right wing lunitic.)

Cyberlizard · **Reply #27 on:** February 26, 2006, 03:03:58 AM

"We just let you win. Next time, we'll beat you." says David as he and Cal leave and go back to their cabin.

F-14 Ace · **Reply #28 on:** February 26, 2006, 03:08:21 AM

Max said, "Well, that was fun. Beating Hilery and Kerry, Barney, the Teletubbies, Darth Vacer, and Jar Jarin one night. Well, I've had it for the night. No more politics though. Just strait out whoopass."
He turned out the lights and went to sleep.
Three days later, the squadron was called to the briefing room.
Briefing Guy, as Max called the guy, said, "Last night, a nuclear missile was launched at Santa Fe, New Mexico by enemy forces. Although the Brazillian Air Force intercepted and destroyed the missile and launch site, the U.S. has declared on New Brazil. Mazol has bribed a large part of the Brazillian military to join him and is recieving support Cuba. He gets a lot of his money from the drug trade. We have discovered a large factory where he manufactures these vile products and exports them around the world. Your mission is to completely destroy the factory. Do this and Mazol's drug industry will grind to a halt. You will use A-E Intruders for this mission because they carry the weapons required. You will recieve commands from an AWACS plane. Also, the A-6 is not a fighter so you won't be able to protect yourselvs from enemy fighters. You will have to refuel on the way to the target as this is a ong rang mission and the jets will not be equiped with drop tanks. Dismissed!"

Mirumoto_Kenjiro · **Reply #29 on:** February 26, 2006, 05:19:33 PM

Archer and Shinobi raced to their plane to get ready for takeoff, waiting for their Captain and the rest of the team.

"I'm starting to wonder how this Mazol bastard's getting the resources to launch an attack like that," Archer said after a while.

"I'm more worried about what else he has in store," Shinobi replied. "One nuclear missile seems too small to be a full offensive. Something tells me this war's going to have some unpleasant surprises."

F-14 Ace · **Reply #30 on:** February 26, 2006, 05:52:10 PM

Captain Jack Wilson climbed into the cockpit of an A-6 and Mac climbed into the seat next to him. Unlike the F-14 which had seats one behind the other, the A-6 had them next to each other. THe planes were lifted to the flight deck.
Joe was the last one on the catapult.
The controller said, "Raptor 7, you are cleared for takeoff."
Joe replied, "Roger!" and punched the throttle. The jet zoomed off the flight deck and climbed into the sky. As the planes formed up, Max said, "Hey, I bet this is the enemy's theme!"
He held up an I-pod in the window of the plane and then put it to the radio. The Inperial March (Darth Vader's theme) played over the radio.
Joe asked, "You have the Star Wars soundtrack on that thing?"
Max replied, "Yeah." as Across the Stars (the love theme from Episode II Attack of the Clones) played.
Three hours later, the planes came up on the KC-10 tanker plane. Jack and the others refueled first. Joe tried to bring the plane to one of the fuel hoses. THe cockpit canopy was small the the high control panel made it hard to see. Plus, the plane's fuel probe stuck up like a rhino's horn. It wasn't retractible. Finally, the plane connected with the tanker plane and began to refule. Then, they proceeded to the combat zone.
A voice on the radio said, "Raptor Squadron ,this is AWACS, callsigh Fire Streak. You are now under my command. We will activate our ECM jammer to prevent the enemy from picking you up on radar. You are cleared to engage."

Mirumoto_Kenjiro · **Reply #31 on:** February 26, 2006, 06:19:11 PM

(Didn't know we were taking A-6s today

)

As they neared the combat zone, Archer catches something in the corner of his eye and turns to the right. "Archer to Squadron Leader. We have company coming from 3 O' Clock. 5 MIG-29s at least."

F-14 Ace · **Reply #32 on:** February 26, 2006, 06:34:50 PM

Jack replied, "Oh crap. Everyone, proceed with the attack. Make your bombing run and duck behund that ridge over there. We have escorts inbound."
Joe bombed a couple of warehouses and then turned around to make another run. Max bombed a production facility and crop fields.

Mirumoto_Kenjiro · **Reply #33 on:** February 26, 2006, 06:43:18 PM

Shinobi's bombs take out several trucks and jeeps, one building, and managed to take out an AA gun without it firing a single shot. Two more AA guns began to fire on the squadron as they passed.

"I think I just saw a SAM somewhere near the remaining trucks," Archer said as the plane went behind the ridge. "I don't know if it's armed."

F-14 Ace · **Reply #34 on:** February 26, 2006, 07:35:48 PM

Suddenly, the SAM fired a missile at Max.
He said, "Why do they always shoot at me?!!"
He dodged it and fired an ait-to -ground missile at it. Jack said, "Hey, the reinforcements are here."
AWACS Fire Streak said, "Alright, continue with the operation. Leave nothing standing."
Jack said, "Alright, boys. You heard him Bomb the hell out of that factory!"
Max bombed the motorpool and another factory building.
Suddenly, a voice on the radio said, "Attention, aircraft over head. THe enemy has an electromagnetic pulse emmiter hidden throughout the jungle in this area. THey are preparing to use them. Climb above 2000 feet to avoid its effects. It will wipe out any electronics within a 1 mile radius that is below that altitude."
Joe asked, "Who are you?"
THe person answered, "I am a Brazillian spy. The weapon will fire in 10 seconds! Get to that altitude and wait for the pulse to pass before resuming the attack. I don't know where the devices are so you can't take them out now."

Cyberlizard · **Reply #35 on:** February 26, 2006, 09:18:29 PM

OH, YOU'VE GOT TO BE F****** KIDDING ME!" screams David as he pulls up. The EMP emmits, the rest of the Raptor Squadron makes it out in time. But, David and Cal are too late. Their plane immediatley drops to earth. "Oh, shit!" screams Cal as their plane softly lands in the rainforest canopy.

F-14 Ace · **Reply #36 on:** February 26, 2006, 09:26:12 PM

Joe asked, "Are you guys alright?"

Cyberlizard · **Reply #37 on:** February 26, 2006, 09:55:36 PM

"This is Raptor 2. Do you copy?!" Cal screams into the radio, " I REPEAT, DO YOU COPY?!"

"Forget it. The EMP screwed everything. There is no way we can contact the rest of the squad." says David.

"GREAT! YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT WE'RE DOWN BEHIND ENEMY LINES WITH NO F****** CONTACT!" says Cal.

"Shut up!" whispers David, "Every time you open your trap you give our position away! Now I suggest we arm ourselves, get the hell down from this tree, get to the beach and wait for dust off!" David gets out a P90 from underneath his sead and loads it with a fresh clip. Cal gets out a Machine gun and slaps a fresh clip into it. "Now," says Cal, "How the hell are we going to get down frim here?"

F-14 Ace · **Reply #38 on:** February 26, 2006, 09:58:54 PM

Joe saw enemy soldiers closing in on their position and fired his plane's guns at them. He was wondering why they didn't just use the emergincy radio that woulld have worked because it was turned off and not harmed. He tried to contact them on it.
Joe said, "Hey, are you guys there? We have to go. Be careful and we will come back as soon as we can."

Cyberlizard · **Reply #39 on:** February 26, 2006, 10:11:45 PM

David hears the incoming message from the emergengy radio underneath his seat. "Shit, I forgot about the emergency radio." says David as he picks up the reciever. "Raptor 1, I read you. Our bird went down somewhere in the forest canopy. We are going to decend to the forest floor and head to the beach. Send reinforcments and a chopper for immediate dustoff. Raptor 1 out."