The Gang of Five
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Insane Cafe 4: The Insane Frontier

Nick22 · 5633 · 290580

LoyfeCycleProtector

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Diddy stared blankly at this ring. "... You... You CAN'T read minds over the phone... can you?" he uttered with apprehensive awe of the wizard's guess. But Stripetail knowing everything as Stripetail was want to do was the least of his concerns right now and he quickly shook off his surprise. "Yes! We are SO dead!" He claimed as the tingle of the ice cream parlor door sounded and they all walked out, to the collective relief of the patrons inside.
"Our doubles got their stupid as-... their stupid *butts* caught," Diddy said, catching himself before he swore. "Junior's double set himself on fire, and mine is in jail. We don't know what to do! I don't Jerry to be in jail because of me! And they'll KILL Marcus once he's well enough to start talking."
Junior looked over his shoulder at Wendy and the Ludwig-haired McFlurry lady she had befriended, especially the latter. She didn't look familiar to him at all, but there was SOMETHING about her that tickled something in his memory. He wasn't sure what. Instead he looked to his sister. "Where are the others?" he asked, before more specifically asking "Where's Roy? Didn't he come with you?"


Nick22

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dad sent just  me' wendy said ' Roys been set as watchman over Marcus. I've been looking for you for weeks by the way. ' Wendy Said ' I'm madame flurrie.  star of stage and screen. ever watched a Mid-summer's nap? I'm in that. Also starred in birdo's adventure, where birdo and i are completing for the song of truth.  it features singing numbers." Flurrie smiled.
-
Diddy. my lad dont worry. I'll take care of this for you.  I'll talk to  Bowser and Dk and tell them that I hired you boys to work for me. Most likely, they'll want most of your paychecks, and you'll be paying DK back Diddy  for several months for his kart repairs, but your friends wont be harmed. " stripetail said. ' So, how much money do you think will be enough to mollify them? I'll be  reaching out to them later today, and will be sending bowser a healing drought to heal Marcus.he'll be good as new. you'll need to give the boys a cut of your paychecks as well. say 5%?
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LoyfeCycleProtector

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“Five percent?” Junior began to whine, but Diddy elbowed him so hard it he fell into a nearby collection of garbage cans. Diddy smiled into the ring. “That’s fantastic!” Diddy said into the ring as he threw a stern look at the sulky looking koopa’s direction. “Dk can be bought with a hundred bananas or so—trust me on this. Uh… Not sure how much Bowser’d ask for,” he turned to his boyfriend who was drumming his claws on the rim of the can he had fallen into with a pout and an angry alley cat clawing away fruitlessly at his shell.
“Hey, how much d’y’think Bowser’d need?” Diddy asked.
“How should I know? A lot, probably. And how is that supposed to get our guys out of trouble?”
Diddy wondered that too, but he figured Stripetail had it covered. He turned back to his ring and said. “Uh, you might need to ask Bowser himself for that. But thanks so much, Stripetail. You’re a lifesaver.”

Junior sighed and got out of the garbage can, which caused the cat that had been attacking him to yowl angrily. He dusted himself off, reoriented his royal ponytail, and shrugged at Flurrie. “Eh. Never been much of a theater guy,” he said. He turned to Wendy next, and ignored the hushed conversation G and Rogan were having. "Well, what do you expect? We were trying not to be found! That means not leaving tracks!" The cat from the garbage snuck up on him and started clawing at his unshelled face.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2018, 03:06:08 PM by LoyfeCycleProtector »


Nick22

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How about 100000 a month, each?" stripetail said after pausing. " that would be enough to pay DK back in a year or so.' he said. And that would be 5000 a month in, er, hazard pay' for your friends. I woulfd think they've earned that much, dont you? he chuckled "let  this be a learning lesson for you boys. of you are going have 'standins ; you ned to make sure they actually act like you look like you,, and talk like you. " like magically created doubles."
_
 well you guys did too good a job. every day you didnt come back, dad just got more and more angry. " wendy retorted. " you wont be allowed to kart race at the start of the next kart season. a 6 race penalty is what he told me. so you'll be playing catchup for a good long stretch. " she said flatly.
_
 welll do you watch movies at least?' flurrie asked Junior. ' You have heard of me, havent you?
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LoyfeCycleProtector

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“Uh, right,” Diddy agreed, but secretly thought that they didn’t really have access to magical doubles at the time they started this journey. And they had worked out just fine before, for smaller excursions out together, but it probably wasn’t the most well thought out plan to think that the façade would last longer than a week.
“And yeah, that amount is fine. Thanks, Stripetail!”

“Uhh…” Junior erred as he scratched at his ponytail band. “I mean I do, but I think I’d remember seeing you if I did.”
“Don’t mind him, he just likes being mean,” Diddy said breezily as he strolled up the Wendy’s friend. “I’m Diddy Kong. I’m Wendy’s brother’s boyfriend. Although you didn’t hear that from me,” he said as he put a finger to his lips to signal this was a secret between them.


Nick22

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honey on the stage you see lots of people who are like you too. the stage accepts all sorts. " Flurrie said  with a smile to Diddy. ' But i understand that your folks may not be quite as accepting, hence the secrecy. it would have been easier if you had told them that you were searching for treasure, those take a long time under the best of circumstances. That would have been more plausible than ' camp' .
You're welcome Diddy. now you and junior will need to come to my hotel room to  meet with Bowser and DK. I'm shielding you two from the worst of it, but you're still going to get a reaming. ' stripetail said " As the humans say " time to take your medicine""
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Nick22

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Tigeress pased a glass of soda to Jing king as the pair enjoyed a drink at the bar ' Have you had a chance to read your cover story yet?' tifgeress asked ' I'm going to be a dragoness namred Tugra At keast i'll still get to be purple, she said. did you leave Po or note or something?' She asked.
-
 KOvu was training a bit in his cell, sending fireball into the dummy, as he worked out some agression, while tv showed some of the fights ongoing. Kovu was pummeling the dummies hard, and found that the fights were taking a lot out of him. " i thought i'd be stronger by now' he sighed stopping and taking a seat on his bed.
-
Mona and flash banged against olies bumper car with thier own, driving him towards Oliver. the wolf girls laughed loudly as they bumped into hijm, one after the other.
-
 As the volleyball game progressed. Sima took a decent lead on Kiara the score was now 17-12. and the guys watching were more inteested in their unforms than in their talents at the game. every time Kiara moved she was greeted by wolf whistles and cat calls.
-
 Clockwerk drummed his claws on his throne and turned to miss ruby ' where ARE those servants?' he demanded  I expected them to be here 10 minutes ago!"

_ Po opened the door to his hotel room to find a package and a note, the strong scent of perfume that wafted from it indicated it was from Jing KIng.
 
 Judy was moving from table to table collecting tips, she suspected the large tips wre not due to the food or work quality but rather from the outfit she was wearing.
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brekclub85

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Meanwhile, Thiago was returning from his match. He clutched his furry chest. He had taken some hits, but he managed to endure the fight and survive.

"Impressive effort, but you can't bring me down yet," the mountain cat smirked to a guard. He missed having a cellmate to talk to, but he kept his spirits up.

...............

Sly and Bentley had rented a jetski. The raccoon thief/Interpol agent used his paraglider to go parasailing over the peaceful waters. "I can see the whole town from here," Sly laughed.

"You better not be planning to steal bikinis," Bentley said, shaking his head. The turtle was the most frequent vehicle driver for the gang with Murray still captured.

.............

"Well," Jing King mused, having worked up a plan in her mind, "I'll be serving as the translator for pandas of the broadcasts. I'm sure they'd love to expand their businesses into new markets." She blushed when her note to Po was brought up. "I told him about how there are several outfits I plan to buy him that he'd look handsome in, and how his coat of fur is soft like a beanbag, just like his belly"
...............

Murray, Penelope, and the Guru came rushing to Clockwerk's throne room. "We're sorry master," Murray panted, "But it took some extra minutes bringing the servant owls all their food." The hippo had nearly passed out from running as fast as he could.

............

Kiara had managed to tighten the gap, reducing Sima's lead to just 17-15. As she prepared to serve again, she briefly turned to the admiring crowd. "Like what you see?" she asked, quite knowingly.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2018, 12:55:47 AM by brekclub85 »


Nick22

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tigeress chuckled at themention of po being ike a bean bag chair as well as some of the drawings Jing king had doddled about outfits wshe was designing for Po: there was an archer outfit, a ninja outfit, a magistrate outfit, and a knight outfit.' I dont think wearing a heavy suit of armor would mesh well with his kung fu skills.' tigeress said as jing king brougt out some photos, including some of po relaxing in a bubble bath holding a rubber ducky." she was singing too' Jing kIng saod. ' i could hear him. hes actually pretty good. " And just why were you in his room?' tigeress said "well, my father is a master of getting into places, and hes taught me a few things.Besides hes not part of the wizards team, so i dont have to worry about Stripetail's disapproval." you didnt answer the question.' Tigeress said  well i was curious' Jing King aid.' And so I went into his room, and er took some pictures which I now keep in my desk.."Such as" Po flexing in front of mirror. Po carving a new figure of Tigeress , and cooking smome noddles for his lunch.' Jing kIng said.
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aabicus (LettuceBacon&Tomato)

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“The thought never crossed me mind!” Dr. Hapsburg joked, shaking both Sauralophus’ hands cheerily.

Mercy shook the dragons’ claws, but looked over when she heard Ms. Swimmer. “A martial arts and spell casting specialist?” She asked. “Have you by any chance heard of Zenyatta? He was an Omnic monk from Nepal, a master of orb magic but also one of the most deadly hand-to-hand fighters I’d ever encountered on the battlefield.”

————-

“Well, don’t avoid your mega forms on my account, you eat another whole batch the size of what you’ve already eaten, I get to close early for the week!” The ice cream shopkeeper exclaimed.

——————

“50 gold coins each!” the trading card salesman exclaimed. “And I’ll throw in a Deluxe pack for free! Your duaghter is going to love this pack, though she’ll love it even more if she buys more and completes the set,” his eyes twinkled merrily.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2018, 07:57:21 AM by aabicus (LettuceBacon&Tomato) »


LoyfeCycleProtector

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Junior’s grumpy face softened a little as he heard Flurrie’s reaction to the news that he, Wendy’s little bro, was in gay cahoots with a kong. His scaly tail waggled slightly. He was kind of starting to like this purple, Ludwig-haired fart cloud lady, to be honest. It might have put him off his hard-wired bad guy attitude for awhile, had he and Diddy not heard the last part of what Stripetail said on the ring.
Junior and Diddy’s backs  both went stiffer than a light pole.
“Meet?” Diddy began with wide eyes.
“With my dad and DK?” Junior finished with a crack in his voice. Rogan and G interrupted whatever it was they were talking about to look over in their direction, hearing the genuine distress in their voices.
“Uh… Y-y-you mean SEPERATELY, right?” Diddy uttered with a nervous laugh. “I mean, c’mon—they will DEFINETLY know something is up if they see us together.”
“Yeah,” Junior said with concern etched over his normally smarmy face. “As far as they know we hate each other. We can’t just explain that all away—you GOTTA have us meet them one on one.”
But even in a serious situation like this, the two little immature knuckleheads couldn’t help but smother a snicker at Stripetail’s choice of the word ‘reamed’. That, uh… that word usually had a less metaphorical meaning whenever Diddy and Junior used it.


Nick22

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very well, you can meet with them separately. JR, you will be meeting with Bowser and diddy with dk, within 30 minutes of each other. Diddy since the kart was more valuable than the torch, youll go first." stripetail said. ' if you must play up the fact that I'm a wealthy wizard, then do so. i'll head up to set up the meetings, and they will be very interested in hearing from you two. Steel yourselves however you like boys." stripetail said. Just  head to my room, the ring will glow red until you reach my room. Stripetail out."
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LoyfeCycleProtector

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Junior and Diddy looked at each other miserably.
“My dad’s gonna kill me.”
“Yeah? Well my uncle’s gonna kill me.”
“My dad breaths fire, I’m worse off than you!”
“Nu-uh!”
“Hey,” said a voice behind them. The two boys turned around. It was Rogan, standing with his arms crossed. “Need us to come with you? For moral support?”
Junior and Diddy averted their gaze.
“Thanks, but I don’t think it’ll help,” Junior said. Rogan shrugged. “I have a daughter,” he said. “She’s not much less a pain in the ass than you are. But I love her, despite all the trouble she’s gotten into. I've had my share of tough talks with her. Trust me: I think I could ease your spirits a little. Or at least give you some advice.”
Diddy and Junior looked at each other for a moment. Diddy nodded, and Junior sighed. “Alright. But just stay out of sight while we’re talking with the folks.”
“Right,” Rogan said as he looked at G. “You want to come with us?”
“I feel like you’ve got this covered,” he said as he straightened his impeccable black suit and tie. “I think I’ll head back to the Spire. I heard Défago and Joshua are trying to learn more about the Mag-0 formula. They could use some of my notes.”
Rogan nodded. “Alright, lets head out.”


Nick22

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I'm com,ing with Wendy said ' as I Was sent to find you and to show dad that I did so. Theres a lot of gold coming my way from that, most pf it going to my Car Interiors franchise . i'm currently working on a kart that can produce 10 seconds straight of speed bursts with an ordunary mushroom. a golden supermushroom will provide 1 minute of burst, allowing you to zoom from 16th to  to 1st in a lap. " wendy said. ' dont worry, i'll help cover for you  Junior, i'll say i found you running errands for the wizard. "
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brekclub85

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Jing showed Tigress more of the photos she had taken of Po while she had snuck into his room. "Here he is taking some midnight snacks from the fridge. My man has a healthy appetite, he needs to keep himself full," she blushed. She scrolled to the next. "Here he is sleeping on the chair in front of the tv. It's like his own personal throne. And here he is walking around in just his underwear. He has confidence, I can tell ya." She also showed more of the drawings of outfits she planned to have made for Po. "Several to represent his status as Dragon Warrior, one with the King family emblem, and plenty of kung fu attire."


Nick22

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Dragon warrior underwear.. no not dragon warrior, looks like pictures of an OX, a Rhino and and red pandas on there ' Tigeress said. "  warriors i guess she said, holding up the  picture to a magnifying glass. " as for him walking around in his skivvies, its because he thought he was alone. Where dod you take these, from under his bed?' Maybe' Jing giggled. ' How about these outfits ' She said handing them over ' Hmm wait this isnt a picture of Po, its some guy tied up, gagged and locked in a room!' Jing quickly grabbed the picture away ' that.. umm was a previous attempt by my dad  at matching me up with a guy. He was.. not a good match. So when the time came for me to kiss him and betroth myself to him, I knocked him out, and locked him up instead. " Jing said. " He wanted me to help him take over much of China ' Jing said. Tigeress could see that the gag covered a large beak in the picture ' His name was Tsao' Jing King said. " Could have drenched him in orange sauce" Tigeress cracked. ' then fried him ' Jing king began laughing uncontrollably " Ha ha Ha I should! Then I could have served him to my father with the words ' Hope you like boneless" both Tigeress and jing laughed at that.  "Okay, Okay, how about this one? It has my Family Crest, two large fireballs crossed together like two fists ' that is flame fu, a special technique my father mastered over several years."  I like it, gives off a vibe of power, of " Don't cross us!"Tigeress said. " Oh Yes, exactly. because for many years, my dad.. was not a very nice panda, and I'll leave it at that. Oh, speaking of Pandas, I'd like to throw some names for my future cubs at you, since they certainly will be friends with your Flash' Jing king said, a big grin on her face " hmm. for boys Pu Yi, Han, jong, Hong and Kang. For girls , I'm thinking Ming, MIa, Jia, LI and Wu. I'm expecting more boys than girls you see' JIng said. Don;t Pandas only have a few cubs at a time? Tiigeress said ' Well, Normally, but if the timing is just right, we can have pretty big litters.  my bean bag chair  of love will doubtless be very virile ' Jing king said, almost swooning at the thought. Hmm Romeo" Tigeress said ' Roly Poly Romeo ' Jing King said. " Darling.. dumpling " Tigeress said. both girls had long finished their drinks and  were crying with laughter.
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LoyfeCycleProtector

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In the library of the Spire, two hideously disfigured men went about searching the towering archives of Stripetail’s collection for a certain book.
One of them—Defago--was not wearing his protective metal mask or heavy winter wear. There was no need around Joshua—he was bandaged from head to toe. There was no way Defago could touch him skin to skin. Why, Joshua didn’t even seem to mind the unearthly chill Defago’s exposed skin brought to the room. “I enjoy the cold, to be honest. It soothes the burns I have a little. Just a little, though,” Joshua told the Cancuk. Defago was mighty pleased to hear that. He didn’t trust Joshua half as far as he could throw him, lord no, but he seemed a mighty agreeable fellow at the least. Good enough for pleasant company, at least. While searching the library, they talked a little about their pasts. What they were each willing to talk about, at least.
“Ah, so you’re a Moor-mon, eh?” Defago said as his long finger claws carefully flipped through the books, trying his best to avoid freezing them solid or tearing them to shreds.
“Yes. That was what we were called before the war,” Joshua said mildly as he flipped through a book. “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We had lost or forgotten many of our old ways with the war, though—that’s why we abandoned the term. With new rituals and new norms, we rechristened ourselves the New Caananites. Mormon is just an historical term now, where I come from.”
“’Suppose that means you wouldn’t like a swig o’ my rye?” Defago said with a grin full of yellowed, enormous teeth. His skin was so blacked and blued that the yellow stuck out like a headlamp in a dark cave.
“No thank you,” Joshua said politely, his hands moving with a disturbing dexterity and speed through the rows of books. “I know there was an old text called the Pearl of Great Price that forbade alcohol, coffee, and tea, and that it was sadly lost to history. But the taboo of alcohol never left the New Caananites after all these years, regardless. Even war can’t scourge the tightest held traditions from its victims’ memories.” Joshua paused, his mummified hand landing on a book high on a shelf towards some of the denser material in the Spire’s vast library.
“Ah. Here it is. This is the one G and Rogan said to start with.” Joshua showed the book to Defago who grimaced slightly.
“Oooh, a doctor’s journal,” Defago said, and gave a slight laugh. “I’m o’fraid I’m not too good at readin’ any o’ that fancy science stuff. Not like I could go to any ol’ night school lookin’ like this, eh?”
“Would you like me to read a loud?” Joshua asked, turning his icy, fire-bleached eyes towards the wendigo. Defago’s grotesque face looked hesitant.
“Nah, I ain’t no little boy. I couldn’t ask ya to do that for my sake.”
“I used to be a translator. Just think of it as that: a translation. During my work in Caesar's legion, I had to work with the science team—I picked up most of the words.”
Defago stared for a moment. Then he let out a boisterous chuckle. “Ah, you musta been one helluva translator, the silver tongue you got there, Joshua. Très bien! Read away!”
Joshua turned his pale eyes back to the book. A label on the cover declared that it was a copy of a text now in AMS custody. It was titled “Pertaining to the 1998 Currien Mansion Case--The Diary of Dr. Roy Curien.”
----------------
Junior was used to getting in trouble. Diddy was not. As they approached Stripetail’s room, the kong began to hyperventilate a little. His scaly boyfriend rubbed a claw on his back.
“Hey hey hey,” Junior said with a gentleness Rogan was not used to seeing. “It’s gonna be alright. Here.”
He offered his hand, which Diddy gripped hard. The monkey nodded roughly, as if he were a bit embarrassed to be reacting like this and wanted to signal that this was just a moment of weakness.
“Thank you,” Diddy said through some heavy breaths. Rogan kept quiet, knowing the two boys were providing better support to each other than he ever could. He expected that to change once they had to be separated from each other to meet their families.

----------------
The blond teenager drummed his fingers on the phone as Haro bounced around happily behind him. “Marbet! Marbet! Marbet!” it cheered. Usso sighed. He was glad one of them was looking forward to this call. He dialed in the number, and put on his best brave face as the phone began to ring.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2018, 04:52:51 PM by LoyfeCycleProtector »


Nick22

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wendy followed diddy to stripetail's room, witnessing the boys trying to support each other. ' you first diddy' wendy said.' junior and i will wait out here.'-
 stripetail turned as he saw the door open ' ah, diddy' do come in.' he motioned to a chair a large portal glowed in front of the chair and closer inspection two apes appeared in the portal , one huge and male one sm,aller and female ' Donkey kong, dixie king. nicve to meet both of you ' Stripetail said. dk nodded in ackowdgement and dixie bowed to huim. ' i tink diddy here has some explaining to do. " Thats putting it mildly' Dixie said turning her face towards diddy ' have a seat diddy' she motioned to the chait as dk dragged something into view
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LoyfeCycleProtector

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Diddy took a deep breath and entered the room, sitting down on the chair and gave his uncle a meek little smile. “Uh, hey there Donkey,” he said with a nervous laugh.
Outside, Junior was already having a bit of a breakdown. Wendy being their certainly helped, but at heart he was much more a worrier than he tended to let on. Yeah, yeah, he was big braggart, blowhard brat to the world. But that was thing: we was like that to the world’s eyes because that was what he wanted the world to see in him. Confidence: strength. Deep down… he wasn’t like that. He was afraid so often, about so many things.


Nick22

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Donkey pointed to the object in the device and spoke in ape noises ' translated they said " Do you see this kart? Do you have ANY idea how long it took me to save up to buy this? The better part of 3 years! three years of racing karts until my feet bled! 3 years of fighting to make the playoffs! 3 years of scraping against Mario, Peach, Yoshi, Toad and Birdo! every penny going into this kart! EVERY single one! and when i finally get it tuned up, and decide to try it out, you crash it! although its not you, really.  just a 'stand-in!' a fake! someone pretending to be you while you go off and.. do whatever you please! well Diddy, you are going to be paying me back until you fix this kart! and you are not going anywhere, going forward, without my sayso!
_ excuse me, Donkey' Stripetail said stepping forward. ' i have hired the boy to work for me." work for you, wizard?' donkey kong looked at him, then looked at Diddy.. hmm. what do you see in him? i would say, that he was  a charming, loyal, and trustworthy sort, that is  until i found  out that he;'s been lying to me, by putting up this ' Jerry" to fill in for him. " the boy has shown a willingness to go to dangerous places, and take on dangerous task.   he has been honest enough with me for him to hire him. " how much is he getting paid?" Donkey Kong asked ' 100, 000 a month. ' the damage to my kart will cost about 2.5 million to fix completely. ' donkey King said. that's 25 months, if I take everything. and i should, Diddy, I SHOULD. " but..' What about 75%" Dixie Kong said. 'give him some money DK. " you ought to be grateful for your girlfriend  Diddy. Ok. 75000 a month, thats. er ' 900000 a year ' stripetail said. ' three years is 2.7 million. ' ok. three years then, you'll be paying me Diddy, for this. now give me one reason i shouldn't drum Jerry out of the village.. ' excuse me, Dk, but that kart looks repairable. i am a wizard after all. " stripetail said.  You think you can fix it, wizard. well lets wait on your attempt until i hear diddy's explanation. also, Dixie, step through the portal" DK said to Dixie Kong who looked at him in surprise. ' you're watching Diddy from now on, and i want regular reports from you.. every week or so. understood?' Yes,  DK" Dixie kong said.  the portal shimmered and a smaller monkey, with a pink hat and blond hair appeared in front of diddy before moving next to him. ' you can respond now diddy. Donkey kong said, resting on his haunches.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2018, 08:02:47 PM by Nick22 »
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