Looks like I lose again! I was laughing a lot during Nimrod's movie too. What makes it even funnier is that it's hard to tell if the person in that video is really trying to be serious or not. Either way, that boy was quite the laugh.
I did not intend that to be at all negative
Please don't worry at all about that. I didn't take you negatively in any way. You simply reminded me of what to do next here. How could that be negative? No, I simply came to that conclusion on my own because since everyone else was posting pictures or links I thought that it was a requirement. I thought that since I can't do that, I can't be of any use here, so why even come? That thought was in no way initiated by any of your words, but thank you for your concern anyway.
ITT means "In This Thread"
Many thanks for clearing that up for me. It was nice of you to volunteer to help me when I didn't ask. And thank you for saying this as well:
You don't have to post a pic
This means mere words will do, so thanks for making an attempt to bring me back. (Although now you can probably see that it was more than just an attempt.) So there were some things that always made me laugh no matter how many times I read them. I'm sorry if no one else finds them funny, but at the very least it might show others what makes
me laugh. (Although it would be highly unlikely for someone to care about what some guy they've never met before likes to laugh at, it was all I could think of to fit after the "at the very least" part.) So here is what I find funny which you are all welcome to hate: creative answering machine greetings. Here are my favorites:
Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so talk to it instead.
You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. So, with that said, here are the detailed instructions for leaving a message for me........
You have reached ###-####. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
Hi! David's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
Thank you for calling ###-####. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.
This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, just hang up.
Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person.
Those always make me laugh. Sorry if they don't have that effect on anybody else here though. Still fun to share. Later.
