Amazon's new program
Amazon's new program,
Kindle Worlds.
Amazon is set to publish and sell fanfiction (legally) of a select few properties (with more to come). So far, they only have the rights to
Gossip Girls,
Pretty Little Liars, and
the Vampire Diaries. So we're going to be getting a lot of teen "writers" submitting crap to this. The program opens next month. Oh, Amazon, you haven't met the internet, have you? There is a storm coming. Say goodbye to your sanity and welcome the wails of madness on the night wind.
Now, there are certain guidelines they've wisely laid down. They are "no porn, no offensive content, no illegal and infringing content (they obviously aren't very familiar with the term "fanfiction"), no works that lead to poor customer experience (?), no excessive use of brands, and no crossovers". Well, since all those things are out, there goes about 98% of all possible entries right there. That's fine with me, because I'd rather not live in a world where The Lemon Master can get paid for "
Chocobo Nights". No matter what, though, this is not going to end well.
I have to say... I pity whatever poor,
poor souls they wrangle in to review and proofread all the entries.
Oh, and how I look forward to watching this trainwreck. It is going to be
BEAUTIFUL. It is going to be gloriously hilarious to watch how many fanfic writers get a MAJOR wake up when NO ONE is willing to pay money for their "brilliant" "idea" in which the crew of
Firefly are replaced by the
Twilight "characters".
Also, even with the guidelines in place, I give this new program five minutes, tops, before something so bile, so unholy, so profane, so utterly offensive, putrid, disgusting, sick, and wretched gets submitted that the editors seal off the building, gouge their own eyes out, and slay their coworkers to spare them even the merest of chances they should gaze upon the work by accident. The elder gods are pleased by this news and welcome this sacrifice of blood.
