The Gang of Five
The forum will have some maintenance done in the next couple of months. We have also made a decision concerning AI art in the art section.


Please see this post for more details.

The Seven Hunters

rhombus · 408 · 49040

rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
Quote
The gang feels so natural.

I am glad that you think that the character interactions come across as natural.  :) I have begun to let the character interactions write themselves, so to speak, and just use my plot synopsis as a general guide.  I think that has helped the dialogue a bit.

Quote
And this was Petrie's chapter as much as the last one was Ducky's.

Yeah, I have been trying to distribute the points of view so that each character has some time to shine, so to speak.  Each character is going to have their own reaction to their changes and I wanted to reflect that in the story.  Spike and Chomper will soon have some character-centric chapters as well, although the Spike-centric chapter will have to wait until the plot gets a bit darker...

My main concern at this point is that I am perhaps using too much introspection with some of the characters.  I want to express their inner thoughts and motivations, but at the same time I don't want to slow down the pace of the plot to a crawl.  Do you think I am striking the right balance?


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


jansenov

  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2665
    • View Profile
The pace is just right. And that's because you're doing the minor details (minor movements and observations of the characters, certain descriptions of behaviour of inanimate objects ) right, so that they don't detract from the liveness of the story. Frankly, if the details weren't so well written, your story would indeed feel somewhat slow. So, continue writing at this high level and you have nothing to worry about.  :)


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
Thanks for the response. :)  As I have already determined the plot arc for the entire story, my perspective on the pace of the story might be quite different from those who actually have to wait for each chapter to see where the plot is going, hence why I was concerned.  That is why it is very helpful to have the perspective of an outside reader who does not know how the story will end.  The next chapter will be at about the same pace as the this chapter, whereas the subsequent two will be quite eventful indeed.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
Another masterpiece of a chapter, rhombus :)

You used a lot of inner dialogue and I think you got the reactions they'd probably be having pretty well...

The Thicknose part was particularly interesting if you ask me as there was some... tension :p

Looking forward to reading the next one, yep, yep, yep :yes
Inactive, probably forever.


The Chronicler

  • Bionicle fan of GoF
  • Member+
  • Cera
  • *
    • Posts: 5554
    • View Profile
This looks like an interesting story. I think I'll continue to read this and see where it goes.

By the way, rhombus, did you say you struggle to write dialogue for Ruby? Maybe I can help with that, since I've included her in both of my LBT fanfics and I believe I've done relatively good, in my opinion.

I think the key thing to keep in mind is that it's more than repeating backwards ("Hello my friends, my friends hello!"), but also lengthening her sentences by using either the same or similar words. If there are two different ways of saying the same thought, she may say both of them, one after the other. I'm not sure if that makes enough sense, but it's the best I could describe it. Perhaps I should just copy a few quotes I found on the LBT Wiki to give you a direct idea of how she talks.
"Being here is even better, now that we are here!"
"You only think I talk big because I'm bigger than you. But if you were bigger than you, you'd talk bigger too. Of course, then it wouldn't be bigger to you."
"Chomper wait! How am I supposed to watch you if I can't see you!?"
"Talking about Cera is one of Cera's favorite things to talk about."
"That sounds like something I've never heard of before!"

I hope this is enough to help.

(P.S. I've occasionally found myself typing posts and wording them in such a way that remind me of the way Ruby talks, which is why I like to think I'm relatively good with her kind of dialogue. In fact, I think I might have just done that somewhere on this post, but I'm honestly not sure. :DD )

"I have a right to collect anything I want. It's just junk anyway."
- Berix

My first fanfiction: Quest for the Energy Stones
My unfinished and canceled second fanfiction: Quest for the Mask of Life
My currently ongoing fanfiction series: LEGO Equestria Girls



DarkHououmon

  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7203
    • View Profile
    • http://bluedramon.deviantart.com
The one thing I'm not digging about this, and it's more just a personal preference than anything related to the story itself, is the color-coded text, like green for dreams and blue for thoughts. Green is kinda okay to read, but with blue, I have to sometimes highlight to see what it says. It is different; I never saw someone use color before to make it clear if something is a dream or a thought. I'm just more used to bold and italics as they help the text to stand out while still keeping it easy to read. That's all. It might just be my monitor or something.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
Thanks for the feedback everyone.  :)

@ Ducky123

I am glad that you enjoyed the chapter.  Yeah, the Mr. Thicknose scene was there in order to show the gang operating under pressure.  Notice how they seemed to do better when they reacted on instinct (leaping on the rocks in a certain way) as opposed to relying on their skills that were developed in their old bodies (trying to walk).  That dichotomy might be important in future chapters.  :yes

@ The Chronicler

I am glad that the story interests you. :)

With regards to Ruby, I think that I write the characterization of the character well enough (her motivations, emotional responses, relationships, personality, etc.) but her vocal patterns do give me quite a bit of trouble.  I will try to incorporate some more of her use of redundant phrases within lengthened sentences (as you have kindly given me some examples of - thank you for that  :) ) as opposed to simply relying upon her use of "reverse-speaking".  I would appreciate any feedback you could offer on Ruby's speech in the subsequent chapters as I am still learning how to write dialogue in her style.

@  DarkHououmon

I actually struggled with finding the right font for my story.  When I write this story in Microsoft Word and post it on fanfiction.net, I actually use italics for dreams and thoughts, and bold for sounds.  However, when I previewed my first chapter on the forum, I found that the italics did not really stand out that much from the normal font style.  That is why I eventually resorted to using different colors when I post chapters on this forum.

@ Everyone

Just out of curiosity, would anyone else prefer that I use italics and bold as opposed to colors in future chapters?  It could be possible that the color-coded system simply looks better on my monitor because of its resolution settings, and I don't want this story to be hard on anyone's eyes.  If I get a mixed response concerning fonts then I could also post the fanfiction.net link for each chapter along with my usual posts on this thread.  That way, everyone could have easy access to a version of the story that wouldn't hurt their eyes.

Thanks again everyone for your responses.  I should have the next chapter posted by Sunday.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
I'm fine with the colours :)
Inactive, probably forever.



CeraTheRed

  • Member+
  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 611
    • View Profile
Colors are fine. Takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the blue, but, I have VERY poor vision, so. Anyway, I LOVE things that are color-coded in some way, so I say keep going. I mean, it's READABLE to me, XD


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
@ Ducky123, jansenov, and CeraTheRed:

Thanks for the feedback.  For subsequent chapters I will continue to use the colored font as usual, but I will also post a link to the copy of the chapter on fanfiction.net.  That way everyone will have access to a version of the story that matches their visual preferences.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
Fanfiction.net link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9990125/9/The-Seven-Hunters

 Chapter 8    Despair of the fallen

“It’s difficult to ever go back to the same places or people. You turn away, even for a moment, and when you turn back around, everything’s changed.” ― Gabrielle Zevin, Elsewhere

The seven sharpteeth were huddled in a semicircle within the Secret Caverns.  Each one had haggard looks as if their worries and confusion were crushing them under their combined weight.  The situation was so impossible, so absurd, that none of the members of the gang even knew where to begin.  The silence that had started moments before threatened to drag on.

Chomper took the moment and looked at his friends.  He had been surprised to awake earlier that night to Ruby's startled cries...

......

Chomper had just been having a rather odd, yet pleasant dream.  He was hunting with his father and all of this friends were there as sharpteeth!  That would have solved so many of his problems, he thought upon awaking.  He always knew in his mind that he would have to eventually leave the valley and trade in his fun-filled childhood for the harsh existence of his kind.  He did not revel in that eventuality, but he knew that it was preferable to harming his friends.  It would be far better for him to leave them behind to live their lives and to simply accept what fate had decided for him.  If only he was a leaf-eater or his friends were sharpteeth, he reflected, then he would not have to leave his companions behind and his future path would not be so lonely...

Chomper blinked and he shook his head, sleep having left him as quickly as it had found him.  No reason to think about the impossible. He reflected sadly.  It was a nice thought, though.  

His eyes then began to focus in the darkness of the cave.  His attention shifted to the cave opening in the distance.  

It is still dark outside!  Chomper observed.  Why did I wake up this early?

He then arose from his prone position and that is when he heard it.  

Crying?!

Chomper immediately sprung from his position and looked about the cave.  He could not see Ruby anywhere.  He could simply hear the muffled cries from an adjacent chamber in the back of the cave.  That disturbed him, but not as much as the smells that he could then recognize.

Fast biter! Chomper could smell the intermingled scent of Ruby and an unknown fast biter.  How could a fast biter get in here without me knowing?  Chomper thought in a panic.  Maybe Ruby is hurt?

Chomper then ran into the adjacent chamber, ignoring the possibility of danger, and called out for his caretaker and friend.

"Ruby!  Ruby!"  He shouted with all of his might, "Are you okay?  Talk to me!"

As his echoes permeated in the cave, he could hear the shuffling of feet and the mournful cries turning into fearful ones.  He could definitely tell that the cries were coming from Ruby now.  It made something in the small sharptooth break when he heard those sounds come from Ruby.  She was one of the friendliest, most good-natured dinosaurs that he had ever known.  To hear her cry like this...

"I am coming for you Ruby!  Don't worry!"  Chomper called out.  He increased his pace to an outright sprint.

He ran through the opening into the next chamber and gawked at what he saw.  A rose-colored fast biter lay in the corner of the chamber.  Her violet crest and forelimb feathers obstructed her face.  The smell of fast runner and the fearful cries were coming from this strange carnivore, but not from Ruby.  Where was Ruby? Chomper thought.  Unless... No.

"Where is my friend, sharptooth?!" Chomper roared in an imperious fashion.  The thought that his friend could possibly have met her doom at the paws of this fast biter made something give in the sharptooth's mind.  If he had enough time to reflect upon the matter, Chomper would admit that he could kill at this point.  All thoughts about promises to the valley were absent from his mind.

The fast biter stood up, obviously afraid.  Her mouth hung ajar and no vocalization left her mouth.

Chomper advanced in a stalking motion.  The nictitating membranes of his eyes glowed red in the darkness of the cave.  His teeth were bared and his forelimbs were primed to strike.  Nothing remained in the demeanor of the purple sharptooth to indicate his normal friendliness; all that his outward expression showed was a hunter about to make a kill.  It would have been a frightening sight to any dinosaur, but it was especially unnerving for Ruby.

"Ch... Chomper?  It is me.  It's Ruby."  Ruby muttered in fear.

Chomper stopped in his tracks and hesitated for a moment, obvious confusion on his face.  She almost sounds like Ruby. He observed.  But then he scoffed and went back to his harsh demeanor from before.

"Ruby is not a fast biter." Chomper said matter-of-factly.  "And if you don't tell me where she is then I will make sure that you pay the price."  He finished as he stared at her with a murderous glare.

Ruby was panicked at this point and began to retreat until she made contact with the wall behind her.

"There is no escape."  Chomper said tonelessly.  "WHERE IS RUBY?!" He then roared without warning.

Ruby was petrified.  She was seeing a side of Chomper than no one, Chomper included, had ever seen before.  Part of her mind reflected that she should be honored that he cared enough about her to elicit this reaction, but since she was about to be Chomper's first victim in the valley this thought did not carry very far.  She had to confirm her identity now.

"I am Ruby and I can prove it.  Prove it, I can!"  Ruby stated.

Chomper paused.  The speech pattern was certainly a perfect replica of Ruby's, but fast runners simply did not turn into fast biters.  That was impossible.  Nonetheless, perplexed by the fast biters reaction, he decided to give it one last chance.

"Then prove it."  Chomper said tonelessly, not changing his position or demeanor.

Ruby gulped.  She then began her story by reflecting on what she and Chomper had gone through together.

"Remember when you were lost on the island and you couldn't find your parents?"  Ruby began.  "You had gotten lost trying to chase me, not realizing that I was too big of a catch!  If you had realized I was too big then you would not have gotten lost."  She continued humorously, "You began mumbling to yourself about how you wish you could speak to leaf-eaters so that you wouldn't be so lonely, not so lonely you would be!"

Chomper's demeanor began to change as he stopped baring his teeth and began to look at her with a stunned expression.

"I spoke to you in leaf-eater, which surprised you."  Ruby reflected.  "And I helped you get back to your parents.  My daddy did not figure out about our meetings until I had already taught you how to speak!"  Ruby continued.  "He was not happy with me.  My family went back to Hanging Rock after the cold time was finished there."

Chomper sat down on the rock floor, stunned at Ruby's confirmation.

"He was not happy when you and your parents decided to visit Hanging Rock."  She reflected with an amused expression on her face.

"Eventually your mommy and daddy decided that you would be less of a target with me and the valley than with them."  She continued.  "My daddy thought that if the valley could unite with the mysterious beyond then perhaps we could defeat Red Claw and his allies.  That is why he agreed to let me take you in."

Chomper finally replied. "Ruby... How?"

Ruby smiled sadly, tears resuming their path across her face.  "I do not know, Chomper.  Know, I do not."

The two then embraced as each tried to comprehend what had transpired.

......

Chomper shook his head to dissipate the memory from earlier that night.  They had to consider what lay in front of them and put aside what had already occurred.  Looking at his six companions, he noticed the same haunted look that he had seen on Ruby's face, the same look of confusion and mental anguish.  No one wanted to be the one to break the silence.

Chomper decided to take the initiative and begin the necessary conversation.

"The stone did all this?" The little sharptooth asked, "This wasn't what we wished for!"  Chomper looked from member to member as he still couldn't wrap his head around what had befallen his friends.  

Littlefoot sighed and looked at Chomper with tired eyes.  I think Chomper spoke for all of us. He observed.

Cera was the next to speak.  "We should have just left that stupid rock alone!"  She critiqued.  "It granted the wrong wish!"

"We all wish-ed to get rid of Red Claw, didn't we?" Ducky questioned.

"Yeah!  You didn't wish to have more sharpteeth friends, did you?" Cera questioned Chomper.

"I would never do that!"  Chomper protested.  

Ruby made the next statement.  "Cera, you know he wouldn't force us to become like him."

Cera then did something that was out of character for her.  Maybe it was the fact that she had gone through so much on this night, or possibly she simply didn't want to make anyone else more miserable.  But perhaps it was that she could smell the lingering sadness and fear in both Chomper's and Ruby's odor.  Whatever it was, her next statement ended the dispute.

"Yeah, you wouldn't do that to us.  I'm sorry."  The others looked at Cera with somewhat surprised expressions.  "I just can't believe this is happening."  She then looked down with a sad expression on her face.

"None of us can, Cera.  None of us can."  Littlefoot replied to Cera, giving her a slight nuzzle.

The others fell silent for a moment.

Cera licked her lips before speaking.  "It is just so horrifying!"  She admitted, to which Ducky and Littlefoot nodded.  "I can't even walk right anymore.  I always feel like I am going to fall over."  She then shook her head.  "This body wants to go fast all of the time."

"The smells are too strong."  Littlefoot stated to the others.  "I don't know what I smell most of the time, but it is just too much."  He looked at Chomper.  "I was knocked out when I first smelled them.

Chomper looked surprised at Littlefoot's revelation.  I knew that my sniffer was better than theirs, but I did not know it was that much better!  He reflected.

"I guess that you will get used to it."  Chomper replied in an unsure manner.  "I was hatched with my sniffer, so it never felt too strong to me."

"The smells give me odd feelings.  They do!  They do!"  Ducky replied.  "When I smelled my brothers and sisters they smelled different and..."  Upon realizing what she was about to say, she did not want to finish her sentence.  "They smelled good, but not in a good way."

Several of the others did not quite understand what she was getting at, but Ruby and Chomper did.  They both looked at one another with concerned and knowing expressions.  It seemed that Ducky was the first one to come to a horrifying realization about her new body.

"Well..."  Chomper began in a cautious manner.  "Sharpteeth don't eat green food, so... I guess your sniffer is telling you that."  He ended his statement by looking at Ducky with a sympathetic look.

The others looked horrified at that revelation.  Had they changed that much?  How could they view their relatives as food?  It was too awful to contemplate.

The gang quickly began to talk to one another in hushed tones.

"Me don't like this at all.  Me can't hurt other flyers!"  Petrie protested.

"What would my dad think?  Or my mother?  What would she have said?"  Littlefoot reflected sadly.

A chorus of other voices spoke up as the entire gang attempted to vocalize the fears, concerns, and despair that they had kept inside until now.  The purpose of their meeting was forgotten for a time.

Spike was annoyed by this whole situation.  In the span of a few short hours he had found out that he had become one of his own worst nightmares, he had to learn to walk again with Ducky's aid, he had barely escaped detection from Mr. Thicknose, and now he had to hear the others bicker over what could not be changed.  Their reactions were understandable, but would solve nothing.  

Spike looked down and scraped his hind leg on the cave floor in his annoyance.  It was a shame that he couldn't speak, because he knew exactly what he would have told the rest of the gang at the moment.

"We can't change any of that.  We need to figure out what to do now."

All of the voices suddenly fell silent.

Good, it sounds like that they are done bickering.  Spike thought.  He then looked up at the gang to see stunned expressions on their faces.  Every single one of them was staring at him.  What? Spike thought in his confusion.  Ruby and Chomper both had agape mouths and surprised expressions, whereas Cera had an unsure expression on her face, as if she could not believe what had just happened.  Littlefoot looked at him wide-eyed, whereas the expression of his sister was unforgettable.

"Spike?  You... talked!"  The former swimmer stated in an amazed voice, her forelimbs covering her mouth in shock.

Wait.  I spoke?  I spoke aloud?  But I cannot speak!  The confused thoughts went over and over within the green fast biter's mind.

"I did?"  Spike questioned.

He had heard his own voice that time.  As the reality of the situation began to set in, he spoke again.  

"I did."  He spoke with a disbelieving but affirming voice.

"My bother can talk now!  Yep, yep, yep!"  Ducky exclaimed, while enveloping him in a tight embrace.

The others were still too shocked to speak.  Had that just happened?

Finally Ruby spoke to no one in particular.  "Well, at wish something good has come from this."

Chomper nodded, still in shock at everything that had happened that night.  "Yeah..."

The others then began to congratulate Spike on his accomplishment.  Spike had always been a full member of the gang despite his disability, but nonetheless this was a great change for everyone involved.  They now had a seventh member who could speak and share in the group consensus.  Each of them had a childhood full of one-way conversations that Spike had been unable to reciprocate, but now that situation had changed overnight.

It was nice, Cera reflected, that one true "gift" had come from this night of "curses".

As their congratulations died down, Chomper decided to ask a question that had been on his mind that night.

"It is nice to hear that all of you can speak sharpteeth now."  Chomper noted which elicited confused looks from the rest of the gang.  "But can you speak leaf-eater, Spike?"

Spike looked terribly confused at Chomper's statement.

Littlefoot shared in the former spiketail's confusion and asked the obvious question to the little biter "What do you mean Chomper?  We are all speaking leaf-eater right now.  None of us besides Ruby and you know sharptooth."

Ruby echoed this sentiment.  "Yes, Chomper.  I am speaking leaf-eater right now, am I not?"

Chomper looked at Ruby with a sad expression and shook his head.

He then rolled his head back and emitted a confusing series of grunts and bellows.

The others looked confused at this display.  Cera looked at Chomper as if he had suddenly gone mad, whereas Littlefoot actually looked at him with a concerned expression.

"What was that?"  Littlefoot inquired.

Chomper looked at him sadly and replied.  "I asked "Can you understand this?" in leaf-eater.  All of you have been speaking sharptooth since you have arrived at the cave.  You have been growling at me!"

The others looked stunned at this revelation.

"But... What I am speaking now sounds like leaf-eater to me."  Ruby replied.

"Then try to think about speaking sharptooth."  Chomper responded.  "Perhaps the stone switched things?"

Ruby reflected for several moments upon how to speak sharpteeth before groaning in desperation.  

"Oh no!"  Ruby cried.  "I can't speak it anymore!"

Chomper looked at his friends sadly.  It seemed that the stone had made them all speak sharpteeth now, and only sharpteeth.  Just like how a born and raised sharptooth would...

Littlefoot, meanwhile, was trying to grasp the full implications of this.  Not only was he a sharptooth now, but he also couldn't speak to his grandparents.  He had literally no way to communicate with those who he loved or to confirm his identity.  What was he supposed to do now?

Chomper noted Littlefoot's expression in particular and decided to help boost the gang's spirits.

"Don't worry guys!"  Chomper spoke.  "I can translate for you when you want to explain this to your folks."

Littlefoot looked at Chomper sadly.  "That won't work, Chomper."

Chomper looked confused.  "Why not?"  He asked sadly.

Littlefoot sighed.  "The adults will have no reason to believe you, Chomper."  He began. "They will just think that you let sharpteeth into the valley."  His voice began to break as he continued.  "They will probably think that we are dead regardless of what you tell them."  With tears in his eyes he looked at Chomper directly.  "We have to either reverse this... or leave the valley."

The others began to look upon Littlefoot sadly.  Ducky was beginning to tear up again, whereas Ruby had a sad smile on her face.  She was about to interject when Cera responded.

"Littlefoot..."  Cera began, but Littlefoot continued before she could offer reassurances.

"Perhaps it is better that way."  He said mournfully.  "Perhaps it is better that they think we are dead, rather than know we have become sharptooth.  That would crush my grandparents."  Littlefoot finally broke down as he could no longer hold back the deluge of emotions that he had contained until that moment.  He had always tried to be strong in front of the gang in order to keep them going, but he had never encountered a situation such as this.  He had finally met his match not in the teeth of a sharptooth, nor in the barren wastelands outside of the valley, but rather within himself.  His leaf-eater self was gone and in its place stood an uncertain fast biter.

Cera and Ruby both went to assist Littlefoot at his moment of weakness, neither of them bothering to restrain their own tears.  The others soon joined in to help their leader.  The emotional floodgates, so long closed, were now opened.

After several moments of collective sobbing, the gang began to calm down again.  It seemed that there was something inside of them that would no longer permit them to mourn.  They had a situation to rectify, and they could only rely upon themselves to do it.

"We need to go back to the stone and see if we can reverse this."  Cera spoke.  "Then we can decide what to do if that doesn't work."

"Yeah...  That is what we need to do."  Littlefoot agreed after some time.

The gang then left the Secret Caverns with restrained hope in their hearts.  Perhaps the stone would be merciful to them and retract the wish?  It was their only hope at this point.

......

"What happened?!"

Chomper's question echoed across the desolate expanse that was the stone's crash site.  The other members of the gang shared Chomper's confusion and uncertainty.

The stone was cold and lifeless.  The bright azure light that had emanated from it during the previous day had given way to a black void that seemed to mock the gang.  None of the energy or color that the stone had exhibited earlier remained.  It was now simply another stone.  

It had also decreased in size.  Whereas on the day before the stone was the size of a small tree, it now was only the size of a small boulder.  It was a jarring and disheartening change.

The hopes of the gang began to diminish.  Nonetheless, they trekked on in their last-ditch attempt to undo the wish.

"Okay guys.  Put your paws on the stone."  Littlefoot ordered.

Each member of the gang then placed their forelimbs on the stone.  Whereas on the previous day a multitude of dinosaur species had joined around the stone, now only fast biters, a flyer, and a young tyrannosaurus congregated around its black form.

Littlefoot gulped.  It was now or never.  He cleared his throat and began his incantation.

"Oh great Stone of Cold Fire, it is the seven,"  He looked at the stone with sad eyes and continued, "Oh great stone, we ask you to return us to our original kinds!"

The others repeated the wish in their own thoughts.

Several moments went by...

...And nothing happened.

Littlefoot continued with desperation in his voice.  "Please!  Please change us back!"  His voice cracked.  "We haven't done anything to deserve this.  Please have mercy on us!"  He pleaded.

Still nothing happened.

"You can't do this to us!  We have fought against sharpteeth all of our lives, how can you turn us in to them?!"  He nearly screamed at the stone, with his forelimb clawing at its surface in agitation.  He then spoke in a soft, sad voice "At least show some mercy to our parents.  This will hurt them badly... They don't deserve this."

There was no sound or light emanating from the stone.  It was just as lifeless as when Littlefoot had begun his attempt.

"Littlefoot..."  Chomper began.

"We have to get it to listen, Chomper!"  Littlefoot replied.  "We have to stop this."

"Littlefoot."  Cera then attempted to reach him, her voice showing obvious emotion.

"Come on guys!  Put your paws back on the stone!  We have to keep trying."  Littlefoot responded in desperation.

Ruby then walked directly in between him and the stone.

"Littlefoot..."  She spoke in a soft, caring voice.  "Littlefoot, it's over."

Littlefoot looked at her uncomprehending for a moment.  His intellect had already accepted this possibility hours ago, but his emotions were still not ready to accept the horrible reality.

"Littlefoot."  Ruby then spoke in a sad voice.  "This... This is us now."

"We have to go now."  Ducky said mournfully.  "We have to leave the valley!"  The former swimmer than began to cry softly.

Littlefoot looked down at the ground below.  He showed no emotion on his face, but the twitches coming from his eyes indicated the mental anguish that was going on in the head of the former longneck.

Littlefoot had always been the hopeful one of the gang.  He was the dinosaur who always argued for a possible solution.  The dinosaur who always kept his bearings and who was able to lead the others even through hopeless circumstances.  But now he had finally met his unwinnable scenario, an abyss from which there was no escape.  He had not felt so helpless since his mother had died protecting him so long ago.  He knew that he would have to motivate the others to carry on, but first he had to work up the motivation himself.  At least they were still all here, he told himself.  All least they would be able to go into the unknown together...

Finally catching his bearings again, Littlefoot shook his head and began to speak.

"Yeah..." Littlefoot began.  "We have to go."  He looked up at the others with a resigned expression.  "The only ones who could help us deal with the stone are those two rainbowfaces we met when Pterano was around, and who knows where they are?"  He then concluded.  "What will we do now?"

Ruby thought a moment before responding.

"My parents might know something about the Stone of Cold Fire.  They are fast runners and we fast runners have to know many things."  She only observed afterwards that the "we" was no longer valid.  She quickly continued, "If there is any news from the Mysterious Beyond then they should hear it."

"Yeah."  Chomper exclaimed.  "They may also know where my parents were recently.  If we cannot find a way to change back, then we will need to meet up with them."  He added hesitantly.  "...And you all would need to be trained."

The last statement fell upon the gang like a pile of boulders.  If they could not change back...

The gang now knew that they would have to leave the valley.  Either they would find out more about the stone and how to change their wish, or else they would be stuck like this forever.  

The same unspoken question echoed within each of their minds.  Would they ever see the Great Valley again?

So now the horrible truth has finally settled upon our seven protagonists: There is no going back. They must now seek refuge in the Mysterious Beyond with little chance of reverting the change... Or else they will perish. But first they must confront a formidable obstacle to their plans: they must escape the Great Valley undetected! Will they succeed in this endeavor or will their new lives as sharpteeth come to a quick and brutal end?

Find out in the next installment, Chapter 9: Escape from the Valley.  I should have it posted by Thursday. :yes  


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


jansenov

  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2665
    • View Profile
So, you decided to use the brute-force method for the gang's transformation. The mass of the stone gets transformed into the mass of the gang, with no notable heat losses (otherwise there should be molten rocks or fires somewhere). I would also wager that the rainbowfaces use this same method to transform.
This also means that the only way the gang can be reverted to their prior forms is to visit the rainbowface's home planet, where the proper facilities exist. And who knows if they'll get there at all.

And the stone has altered the higher portions of their minds as well. It's not that they only forgot leafeater reflexes, they forgot learned things such as language, and were given knowledge of a foreign language. This stone seems suspiciously biased towards sharpteeth. This could be an additional, and rather disturbing hint at the nature of the stone's creators. They're not only biased towards complex life in general, they're biased towards terrestrial carnivores...

This was Spike's chapter. Also, nice hint at Ruby's and Chomper's past.

This chapter is just as good as the others, but with so  many good chapters constant praise may feel cheap, so I'll save the jaw-dropping for the chapters ahead.  :yes


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
Quote
So, you decided to use the brute-force method for the gang's transformation. The mass of the stone gets transformed into the mass of the gang, with no notable heat losses (otherwise there should be molten rocks or fires somewhere). I would also wager that the rainbowfaces use this same method to transform.

Correct.  :yes  I didn't want to elaborate on the details that much, but I did want to leave some indication about how the transformation was brought about.  A complication for the rainbowfaces is that the use of that much power would require great justification, even in such a highly advanced society.  What will they have to prove in order to justify returning to their original forms?

Quote
And the stone has altered the higher portions of their minds as well. It's not that they only forgot leafeater reflexes, they forgot learned things such as language, and were given knowledge of a foreign language. This stone seems suspiciously biased towards sharpteeth. This could be an additional, and rather disturbing hint at the nature of the stone's creators. They're not only biased towards complex life in general, they're biased towards terrestrial carnivores...

Not to give too much away, but your line of thinking is on the right track.  There will be several complications arising from the origin of the stone and its intended purpose.

Quote
This chapter is just as good as the others, but with so many good chapters constant praise may feel cheap, so I'll save the jaw-dropping for the chapters ahead.

Thanks for the kind words. :)  The next two chapters will be quite eventful indeed.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


CeraTheRed

  • Member+
  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 611
    • View Profile
Oh, noes! The Stone is a one-time use item! Why don't they LABEL these things?!
XD
Seriously, this is getting really dramatic! I eagerly await the next update. I'm LOVING all the detail you're putting into it, too. And it's nice to see some of Chomper and Ruby's past.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
^ I am glad to hear that you are enjoying the story.  :)  There will be a bit more on Ruby and Chomper's past in future chapters.  I always felt that that was one of the weakest aspects of the television series in that they did not elaborate on the history between those two.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


brekclub85

  • Member+
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 13097
    • View Profile
This is a great story so far!

It's cool to see another "the gang turned into sharpteeth story"


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
Quote from: brekclub85,Feb 3 2014 on  02:21 AM
This is a great story so far!

It's cool to see another "the gang turned into sharpteeth story"
Thank you very much.  :)  That means a lot to me as it was your story on the subject, "Sharptooth Valley", that helped inspire me to pursue this idea, which has now spawned a fanfiction and a roleplay.  I hope that you enjoy the future chapters.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6779
    • View Profile
Fanfiction.net link:  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9990125/10/The-Seven-Hunters

 Chapter 9     Escape from the valley

“Whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you.” ― Richard Adams, Watership Down


I never thought that I would ever see this day. Littlefoot thought.  This is like something out of a bad sleep story.

Once the gang had finally decided that it was time to leave the valley, the next logical question was how they were going to leave it.  There were several entrances into the valley which would have served as possible escape routes.  

There was the Hidden Canyon and its stinky fruits that repelled sharpteeth, which led towards the east.  This would have led to Hanging Rock and, presumably, Ruby's parents, but it had several disadvantages.  For one, it would be an unbearable journey with their new sniffers.  When Chomper had entered the Canyon with the other members of the gang two seasons ago, it had given him a pounding headache and nausea after just a few seconds.  How were they supposed to travel for several hours in this stinky place?  Secondly, it was not the easiest path towards hanging rock, as several rivers blocked the path after the canyon is escaped.  Altogether this was an unacceptable option.

There was also the northeastern path into the valley, which involved going into a small cave that was hidden from the mysterious beyond by a waterfall.  It was probably due to this entrance's small size and hidden location that sharpteeth never discovered it.  This entrance had the notable disadvantage that it led in the wrong direction.  They would have to take several subsequent alternative paths in order to arrive at Hanging Rock.  This would constitute several days of detours.  Obviously, this path was not a good option either.

The gang finally decided to go through the north pass, which lead out of the valley.  This path would also eventually lead towards Hanging Rock, but it had the advantage of avoiding the rivers.  It was the best path to their desired destination.

Now they were walking from the Secret Caverns towards the north pass.  The night was only about half-way over and darkness still permeated throughout the valley.  The only illumination was from the reflection of the night circle.  The journey was not quite as problematic as their initial walk to the Secret Caverns, as they had gotten more used to walking in their new bodies, but the trek was still slow going.  They just hoped that they would not wake any of the residents of the valley; otherwise they would have to learn how to run fast on very short notice.

So now we have to leave.  Even if we make it to Hanging Rock, what then?  What if they don't know where the rainbowfaces are?  Littlefoot thought to himself.  How are we supposed to find Chomper's parents?  Would they even want to help us?

As the seven sharpteeth continued their journey, Littlefoot decided to ask one of the questions that had been on his mind.

"So um... Chomper?"  Littlefoot inquired.

Chomper looked at Littlefoot with an inquisitive expression.  "Yes, Littlefoot?"

"Where were your parents going anyway?"  He asked.  "They left you with Ruby, but did they tell you where they went?"

Chomper shook his head.  "No, I don't know where they are.  After we left the island, my parents took me straight to Hanging Rock."  He began.  "They thought that I would be less of a target if I was sent with Ruby for awhile."  Chomper bit his lip.  "Red Claw had fought my parents a few times, so they were worried for my safety."  He looked up at Littlefoot's surprised expression.  "Two big sharpteeth are a threat and could be challenged, but a child might be missed."

"Then why does Red Claw not ignore us?"  Littlefoot asked.

Chomper licked his lip nervously.  "Well... Um..."  He started again.  "He roared at my daddy during one of his challenges that he hated the valley and anyone who allied with them.  He demanded that my parents join him and help to kill those who had killed his son."  Chomper pondered for a moment.  "My daddy mocked him and said that his son was killed by a bunch of leaf-eater babies."  Chomper looked up.  "He was mad that my parents did not join with him and he vowed revenge."  He shook his head.  "Thankfully he did not have Screech and Thud at the time, so my parents were able to fight him off."

Chomper then finished his statement.  "I guess that is why he is so focused on the valley.  He blames the valley for the death of his son."

The former leaf-eaters stopped in their tracks.  Everyone looked back at Chomper.  Only Ruby was left confused by the sudden change in the demeanor of the gang.

Littlefoot spoke hesitantly.  "You said that leaf-eater children killed Red Claw's son?"

Chomper nodded.  "That is what my daddy said.  It seems like a silly story though.  How could a bunch of kids take down a large sharptooth?"

Chomper then shook his head.  "I am sure that the story was exaggerated like most hunting stories are."  He said that last bit with a sardonic smile, but he quickly gave an apologetic nod when he realized he had just mentioned hunting to the gang.

Littlefoot ignored the hunting story statement and considered how to phrase his next question.

"Did the stories say what kinds of children killed his son?"  Littlefoot asked.

Chomper laughed.  "No, Littlefoot.  I am sure that it is an exaggerated story.  Red Claw's son was even more feared than Red Claw in the Mysterious Beyond.  What good could children have done?"

Littlefoot then looked at Cera and the others.  Knowing nods were given, as Chomper and Ruby looked upon the group with confusion.

Ruby then spoke up.  "What is it everyone?"  She was perplexed by their change in demeanor.  We are leaving the valley and may never see it again.  Why are they so focused on a silly children's story?

Littlefoot sighed.  "I never would have guessed that we are the reason Red Claw hates the valley."  He looked at Chomper with an unreadable expression.  "Are we responsible for all of this?"

Chomper was stunned.  "That was you guys?"  He looked at the others and noted that Cera and Littlefoot were nodding.  "Wow.  How did you guys do that?"

Cera then spoke to Chomper.  "We can tell the story later."  She looked up at Littlefoot, who had a contemplative expression on his face.  "Red Claw is a monster, Littlefoot.  Even if he has a special hatred for us, and the valley... "  She trailed off.

Spike then joined in with Cera's point.  "He would still be dangerous even if we hadn't killed his son."

Littlefoot swallowed hard and responded.  "Yeah... I guess that you are right."  He then sighed.  "I guess that we need to keep going.  We can't change the past."

The gang then continued their journey to the north pass.

......

The gang had traveled for another half hour.  They had a few close calls during that time.  The most severe of these came when they passed by the sleeping area of some domeheads, which they had failed to smell because of the wind blowing in the opposite direction of their path.  Thankfully, they were able to avoid disaster when Petrie told them of the threat just before they encountered them.  When the gang considered the full ramifications of what would have happened if they hadn't been alerted, they concluded that Petrie should continue to scout ahead.

Accordingly, the gang had stopped for a moment in order to wait for Petrie's observations.  Despite the darkness of the night, his aerial view was invaluable in keeping the gang away from trouble.  

Petrie landed beside Littlefoot and gave his report.

"Me fly to pass."  Petrie began.  "Only swimmers and spiketails ahead."  

"Okay, guys.  We are almost there."  Littlefoot said.  "We just have to get past them without getting caught."

"Yeah."  Cera said sarcastically.  "Then all we have to worry about is Red Claw."

Littlefoot gave her a pointed look.  "One thing at a time, Cera.  One thing at a time."  He said in a joyless voice.

The seven went over a small hill in the valley and could see what Petrie had observed earlier.  Ducky's family was sleeping beside a small stream, whereas the small group of spiketails were gathered in a clearing some distance away.

We should be able to get past Ducky's family just fine.  Littlefoot thought.  But those spiketails might be a problem.

Meanwhile the view of her family evoked strong emotions in Ducky.

Mommy?  Will I ever get the chance to talk to you again?  Ducky teared up at the thought.  The reality of her situation was now confronting her again.

Spike, likewise, was having a difficult time of it.  When they were advancing through the valley he could put aside his emotions and focus on the task at hand.  But now, he had no choice but to confront the dark reality that lay in front of them.

"Goodbye mom."  Spike spoke softly into the night.

Ducky looked back at Spike and gave him a quick hug.  They both knew that this would probably be the last time that they saw her or their siblings.

The others stopped while Cera walked back towards the mournful duo.

"Maybe this isn't goodbye?  Ruby's parents might know something about the stone."  Cera could not see Ruby look down in doubt when she made that statement.  Cera then finished:  "We can't lose hope."

Littlefoot then spoke, more to assure himself than the others.  "Yeah.  We have gotten out of tough spots before, haven't we?"

Ducky gently nodded her head and began to dry her tears.

The seven then began their final leg of the journey to the pass.

......

Ura was helpless in watching the scene before her.

Ducky ran to the boulders blocking the opening that had spiketail prints and yelled as loud as she could.  Hoping beyond all hope that she could get some indication that her beloved brother was safe and well.  After several moments, however, she realized that she would get no response.  

"Ducky can you hear me?"  Ura spoke in a futile attempt to reach her daughter.

Ducky gave no indication that she heard her mother and instead she began to bellow at the other blocked openings.

"Ducky!"  Ura tried again.

She tried to touch her daughter in order to get her attention, but her forelimb simply passed through her as if she were a ghost.

"What... What is going on?"  Ura questioned in her confusion.

Suddenly the situation changed for the worse.

Crack!

Ducky turned to see what had made that sound to find that the boulders that had been blocking the paths had suddenly moved out of the way.  A sharptooth flyer and four fast biters were now in their place as well as a familiar sight...  

"Ch... Chomper?  Thank goodness you are okay!" Ducky said to the young sharptooth.

Chomper did not respond, instead he made a few unintelligible gestures with his forelimbs to the other sharpteeth and they began to follow close behind him.  He had a grim expression on his face and his eyes had the gleam of focused determination.  He soon took on a stalking motion, with his head focused forward and his small forelimbs at the ready for an imminent attack.  What had happened?  Was this the same sharptooth that she considered a friend?


"Oh no!  Run Ducky! Run!"  Ura yelled helplessly.

Ducky ran through the remaining opening and noticed that she was running through someone else's footprints... A swimmer's footprints!  Perhaps she could get the swimmer's attention and get some help?  

Ducky ran as hard as her legs would carry her.  Exhaustion, fatigue, and the painfully sore legs that she gained when running from the fast biter being ignored through force of will alone.  She had to find the other swimmer.  She had to get help for her friends.

The swimmer's footprints became clearer and clearer as she advanced through the cave.  'Almost there', Ducky thought.  She saw a light up ahead, indicating a chamber with an opening to the outside.  Ducky yelled as loud as she could, hoping to get the attention of the stranger.  But as she barreled into chamber she caught sight of a scene that made her blood run cold.

Blood.  Blood was everywhere.  

A rather young swimmer lay on the floor of the cave.  Her throat was ripped from ear to ear.  Her face permanently contorted with a visage of unspeakable pain.  Eyes glazed over and seeing nothing.  The swimmer had met a violent and sudden end.  There was something familiar about this swimmer, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was.  


"Ducky!"  Ura exclaimed.

 She had just seen a mother's worst nightmare, the loss of a child.  But how could Ducky's corpse be there when Ducky was right here looking at it?

Ura turned back to where Ducky was previously and gawked at what she saw.  A light green fast biter with a teal crest was looking over the corpse with a horrified expression.


Ura awoke with a gasp.

Ducky! Her mind screamed, although no sound left her mouth.  She then began to look around her.  The lush valley was blanketed in darkness, while the gentle sound of the stream greeted her ears. It was just a dream. She thought with some relief.

She gently raised herself up in an attempt to not wake her children.  She did not have bad sleep stories that often and tonight's offering was one of the weirdest she had ever had.  The last time that she had a dream that horrifying was back when she had feared Ducky was lost after the great earthshake.  The return of Ducky, and the arrival of her adopted brother Spike, had put such soul-crushing visions out of her mind.  Well, at least until now.

She looked at her beautiful children.  She supposed that it was in her nature to be protective of her children, and Ducky had by far given her the most frights.  It was only natural that she would have worries about what could be from time to time.  Speaking of Ducky...

She looked over at where Ducky and Spike usually slept and noticed...  

"They're gone!"  Ura exclaimed.

The other siblings began to shift in their sleep at their mother's sudden exclamation.  All of them were accounted for, but there was no sign of either the young of hadrosaur or her stegosaurus sibling.  Where could they have gone?

Ura took a deep breath and calmed herself.  Ducky and Spike had been known to go on adventures from time to time, despite her warnings to the contrary.  Perhaps they had simply decided to do the same on this night?  If so, where could they be off to?

"The stone."  She remarked to herself.  They probably got tired of hearing us adults argue over it and decided to check it out for themselves. She concluded.  Those two will be in some serious trouble when I find them!

She then rose from her resting place, taking a quick glance back at her children.  It is warm tonight so they won't notice if I am gone for awhile.  She assured herself.  

She then looked more closely at the sleeping area.  There were a number of odd footprints leading away from the area.  They had the pattern of a two-footer, like a swimmer, but they were not quite right.  There was far too much of an impression to the front of the footprint, as opposed to the shuffling pattern that swimmers would normally make.

Hmmm... She contemplated this observation and decided to follow the footprints.  Perhaps the children went this way on their way to the stone?

......

"Oh no!"  Cera hissed.  "She's awake!"

Littlefoot sprung into action.  "Quick behind the bushes!  We can't let her find us!"

The others began to huddle behind the bushes in the hope that they would not be discovered.

......

She followed the trail for some distance.

The sound of the stream had lessened to a distant hum, in much the same way as a distant rainstorm would only be noticeable to one who paid careful attention.  The water plants and occasional tree of the nesting area had given way to the tall grass and plentiful bushes that existed between the swimmers and the threehorns.  In any other place but the sanctuary of the valley, it would have been an eerie sight, with many possible areas for sharpteeth to hide and ambush their prey.  It spoke to the power of her instincts that Ura still felt some agitation walking through such an area despite the safety of the valley.

The footprints continued in the distance, but then she noticed something interesting.  

More footprints?

There was a collection of several footprints, but these were heading in the opposite direction.  These are heading towards the nest.  She observed.  She then took a closer look at these prints, ignoring the original two pairs of footprints for a moment.  They continued for some distance away from her, she noted, but did they do the same in the direction they were heading?

She turned back in the direction of her nest and looked at where the footprints appeared to be heading.  They kept going for some distance, but then they turned into some of the bushes in the distance.  She took a closer look at the bushes and noticed a flash of light green between some of the branches.

I have found you Ducky!

Ura advanced towards the bush at a brisk pace in order to confront her disobedient children.

......

"Oh no!  She found us!"  Chomper hissed silently.

"We have to get out of here!"  Littlefoot confirmed.  "Run towards the north pass!"

"But we can barely walk Li..."  Spike began before being interrupted by Littlefoot.

"We have to go!"  Littlefoot exclaimed.

The seven sharpteeth then ran as fast as they could on their uncertain legs.

......

Ura was dumbstruck as she saw an entire pack of juvenile sharpteeth escaped from the bush she was advancing towards.  She was about to shout an alert to the other residents of the alley when she saw something that made her see red.

Chomper.

"How could you, Chomper?!  We trusted you!"  Ura screamed in rage.

"It isn't what it look..."  Chomper began despite Littlefoot's hissed order to run.

"Don't try to argue out of this!  You let sharpteeth into the valley!"  She raged.

Before Chomper could say anything more Ura rushed in the direction of her nest in order to protect her remaining children, shouting an alarm call as loud as she was able.  Chomper knew it was over at this point.  He would have to escape with his friends or else be killed by the adults.  There was no talking his way out of this.

Chomper began to run in the same direction as the other members of the gang.  He hoped that they had one more lucky escape left in them.

......

Caw!  Caw!  Caw!

Mr. Threehorn awoke with a start.

"That is an alarm call!"  He affirmed.

He then looked at Tria.  She appeared just as confused and surprised as he was.  He immediately took a look at Tricia and noted with relief that she was safe and sound.  He would just leave her with Tria and Cera while he went to investigate...

Wait.

Cera is missing!  His panic mind exclaimed.

Roar!

He gave the alarm call of the threehorns in the loudest voice that he could muster.  He had to find out what was going on in order to save Cera.  Ura would not give an alarm call in the middle of the night unless it was serious.  He just hoped that Cera was alright.

"Tria, stay with Tricia!"  He ordered.

"But, Cera..."  Tria voiced with some concern.

"I will find her.  But you need to protect Tricia now."  He affirmed, before running off in the direction of the alarm call.

As he ran in the direction of the swimmer nests, he heard loud footsteps which echoed across the valley.

"What is going on?!"  It was Grandpa Longneck, with Grandma Longneck following close behind.  "Littlefoot is gone!"

Mr. Threehorn had figured as much.  "I have no idea!  Cera is gone too!"

The two then ran as fast as they could in the direction of Ura's panicked calls.

......

Littlefoot could see the rest of the gang run hurriedly in front of him.  Ruby and Cera had been charged at by a few spiketails when Littlefoot decided to intervene.  A loud roar and a mock charge later and the spiketails were no longer chasing his friends, but were chasing Littlefoot instead.

I am glad my distraction worked... He reflected.  He could then hear the stomping of the raging spiketail get louder and louder.  ...Although I might pay the price!

Littlefoot leapt to his right in order to avoid the tail slap of the attacking spiketail.  Dirt and dislodged plants flew in all directions covering Littlefoot's immediate surroundings in a cascade of destruction.

This isn't going well.  

He bounded off in the direction in which he leapt, hoping to get some distance between him and the raging spiketail.

"You made a mistake coming here sharptooth!  I won't let you harm my herd!"  The spiketail leader shouted.

Littlefoot couldn't understand any of the spiketail's pronouncements.  All that he knew was that he had a hostile spiketail who was rapidly gaining on him.  It was during his panicked run that he heard the flapping of wings and a howl of pain from the spiketail.

"Damned flyer!  My eyes!"  The spiketail bellowed.

Littlefoot did not look back, but instead counted his blessings and continued to run.  He did not care if he was going in the wrong direction.  He had to get away from the spiketails.  Fighting with them meant certain death.

Littlefoot then heard the sound of flapping wings again.

"Me distract spiketail, but me see no way to north pass.  Spiketails block it."  Petrie reported.

Littlefoot was gasping for air at this point, but nodded in gratitude at Petrie.  He probably just saved my life.  He reflected.

"Tell the others..."  He swallowed.  He was still running, not wasting any time for pleasantries.  He could barely keep his breath after the amount of running that he had just had to do.  "Tell them... waterfall."  He muttered breathlessly.

Petrie flew off without comment.  What more was there to say?  The northeast pass out of the valley was their only hope at this point.

......

Mr. Threehorn and the longnecks were joined by several other residents in their sprint to the alarm call.  The adults ran into the clearing of the swimmers.  They were surprised to see that the young swimmers had all advanced into the stream, with Ura taking a defensive posture at the shore.  

A swimmer is safest in the water.  Grandma Longneck reflected.

They could also hear the sounds of agitation from a distance away.  The sounds of pounding feet and shouting from the direction of the spiketail herd were echoing across the entire north side of the valley.

"What is going on?!  Mr. Threehorn questioned.

"Fast biters are in the valley!"  Ura affirmed in a horrified voice.  "Chomper was with them."

"What!?"  Grandpa Longneck exclaimed while Grandma Longneck and many of the others let out surprised gasps.

"Ahhh!!!"  Mr. Threehorn screamed in frustration and rage.  "I told you that we couldn't trust him!"

"Littlefoot.  Oh poor Littlefoot!"  Grandma Longneck muttered in her despair.  Her lamentation was joined by much agitation and panicked muttering among the assembled group.

"We have to stop them!"  Grandpa Longneck affirmed, but then he attempted to reassure his mate.  "We can't lose hope.  Littlefoot is a smart lad.  Perhaps he escaped?"  He responded in a poor attempt to bolster his own spirits.

"They went towards the spiketails."  Ura stated.  "The spiketails began chasing them when they heard my call."

"Let's go!"  Mr. Threehorn ordered.

The adults advanced in the direction of the spiketails, with the defense of their beautiful home on their minds.  They would show no mercy to the invaders, or to the traitor...

......

Chomper was bringing up the rear of the group, his young body being unable to keep up with his now fast biter friends.  For not being able to walk well, they can run fast! He quipped in his mind.  He was quickly becoming exhausted at the constant exertion and he was uncertain how much longer he could go on.

"Guys..."  He gasped.  "Go on without..."  He couldn't even finish the statement as he began to slow.

"Oh no you don't!"  He heard from in front of him.  "We are almost there.  Almost there we are!"  Ruby encouraged.

With a supportive nudge from Ruby, Chomper continued towards their destination at a slower pace.  He could hear some conversation in front of him, where the others had likewise slowed down.

"Their smell isn't as strong."  That is Spike.  Chomper noted.  "I think that we have some distance on them."  Spike finished.

"The spiketails are more worried about their own herd than the valley."  Cera taunted.  "Threehorns would not have stopped, but would have kept on charging."  Cera stated with misplaced pride.

"Me think you be right!"  Petrie exclaimed from above.  "Your daddy is here!"

Cera turned to see what Petrie was staring at and let out a string of unintelligible words before finally saying something understandable.

"Oh crap!"

Littlefoot, who was in the front of the group, looked at the scene behind them.  The adults had joined in a massive group, with Mr. Threehorn and his grandparents making up the front row.  Behind them, Littlefoot could see enumerable domeheads, swimmers, and the insufferable spiketails from earlier.  The group had apparently just regained sight of the gang.  They were now charging full speed at them, with the look in Mr. Threehorns face conveying imminent destruction.

"Quickly!  Into the entrance!"  Littlefoot called.

The gang didn't need to be told twice, as the gang immediately burst into motion.  

"You will pay Chomper!"  Chomper could hear from the advancing Threehorn.  "You will die for this!"  The threehorn's malicious roar echoed across the valley.  

Tears welled up in the eyes of the young sharptooth.  He wanted to tell them all what had happened.  He wanted to let them know that their loved ones were safe and sound.  But, in spite of the innocence and nativity that was typical of his age, he knew that such assurances would only get him killed.  Their only choice was escape.

Chomper could see the others disappear in front of him into the cave that was the northeast pass.  He was almost there...

Stomp!  Stomp!  Stomp!

He is gaining on me! Chomper didn't dare look back.  He knew that Mr. Threehorn was close on his heels.  I don't think that I am going to make it!  He thought mournfully, even though the cave was so close that he could feel the cool air from its depths radiating out into the land outside.

 Stomp!  Stomp!  Stomp!

He steadily climbed the path which led into the cave on his now exhausted legs, knowing full well that the threehorn was rapidly gaining on him.  If only I were as fast as my friends. He thought.  

Stomp...  
 
He could now feel the reverberation as the shockwave from the charging threehorn's feet shook the ground around him.

Stomp...

The displaced air of the falling feet now reached his backside.  It almost felt like an ominous wind to the fleeing sharptooth.  An omen of death.

Stomp...

Almost there! Chomper then leapt at the cave opening with all of his might, hoping beyond all hope that he would find safety in its dark depths within which the adults would not fit.

Crash!

Chomper landed awkwardly upon the hard ground of the cave, knocking the air from the poor sharptooth's lungs.  He had made it!

CRASH!

A deafening roar echoed throughout the cave as Mr. Threehorn collided headfirst with the cave entrance.  A large portion of a splintered horn and chunks of shattered rocks flew from the entryway as the enraged threehorn attempted to burrow his way in and slay the hapless sharptooth, but his efforts were for naught.  Chomper had escaped into the safety of the cave.

"Are you alright?"

Chomper blinked.  It was Littlefoot!  

I made it?  Chomper asked within his mind.

"Chomper!  Are you okay?!"  Littlefoot asked again, shaking the sharptooth forcefully with his forelimbs.

"Yeah... I'm fine."  Chomper replied weakly.

Littlefoot gave a small smile, but then looked towards the cave entrance.  

CRASH!

Rocks began to fall within the cave as the enraged threehorn continued his assault on the cave entrance.  It was as if the threehorn had lost all sense and now thought of nothing but vengeance and blood.  

He probably thinks that Cera is dead.  Littlefoot concluded, before looking down in sadness.  Who can blame him for acting this way?

"Let's go, Chomper."  Littlefoot softly spoke, giving Chomper a sad smile.

Chomper returned the sad, yet knowing gesture and left with his best friend in the direction of the mysterious beyond.

......

None of the gang was present moments later to witness Mr. Threehorn stop his assault on the entrance and break down into tears.  He had lost his first mate, his first three daughters, and now Cera... Brave Cera.  He could see through the haze of his tears that his horn was broken, which was a perfect reflection of his shattered heart.  He resolved to let the broken horn be a reminder of all of the loved ones that he had failed to protect.  Turning around without a word, and ignoring the concerned questioning of the others, he walked in the direction of his nest.  How would he break the terrible news with the only two dinosaurs that he loved who remained in this world?


Author's Note:
So now the inevitable has happened and the gang has left the valley. Their own parents, other sharpteeth, and even the terrain itself will be their enemies in the journey that lay ahead. How will our seven protagonists handle their predicament now that hope seems to be a distant memory?  Find out in the next chapter, The Lost Children, which should be posted sometime on Sunday.

As always, I appreciate your comments and reviews. :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
Yes, I'm late... had a busied week.

What was most important in chapter 8 - aside from the fact that Spike now talks, a nice addition to his character in my opinion - was Littlefoot's "collapse". It is nice to see that he is not the untouchable longneck we get to see on screen. I also liked the little information about how Chomper and Ruby met. I think your explanation is quite reasonable :)

Too bad, that they're stuck :p

As for chapter 9...

It's very plausible that Redclaw's aim is revenge... Oh, the fact that the Gang is the reason for his brother's death sure adds some pepper :smile

Very thrilling chase :wow I almost feel sorry for the adults.
Inactive, probably forever.