The Gang of Five
Beyond the Mysterious Beyond => The Party Room => Topic started by: action9000 on December 09, 2007, 01:17:06 AM
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- If you're choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto!! The blockage will instantly remove itself
- Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the food while you chop
- Avoid arguements with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink instead
- A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the "snooze" button
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid to cough
- You only need two tools in life - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.
- If you can't fix it with a hammer, it's an electrical problem
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Funny, thanks for sharing. :lol :lol :lol
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I so have to breathe life into this topic again. I was just about to begin a similar topic when I recalled reading this before I became a member :p. Mousetrap, eh? I outta put one on my alarm clock :lol. I keep it on the other side of my bedroom and STILL hit the snooze and crawl back in the sack :rolleyes:. Anyhoo, let's add to the list of tips to keep the human race alive, shall we?
*If you're not domesticated or are just too lazy to iron and need wrinkle-free clothes for work or whatever, pull up a chair by the dryer and keep vigil over the timer.
*If the contents of your pot or pan catch on fire, chuck the whole thing through the window. Remember to open the window first!
*If your lawnmower won't start and there's gas in it, give it a swift kick and call it a (insert profanity), and this may get it going. If not, save yourself the stress holding anger imposes on your organs and just take a sledgehammer to it already.
Anyone else have tips to add? Action9000's are priceless :lol :lol!
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Oh gawd, these are funny! :lol :lol
Hrm...I don't have anything to add at the moment. :p I'll think of something though. *thinks*
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Sadly I don't have any more..but I'll see what I can come up with off the top of my head. :p
Let's see....
The kids are tired of your cooking and want to eat out, but you're worried about keeping within your budget. Just keep these two points in mind:
1) what are the odds the home-cooked meal won't get burned?
and
2) if the odds aren't in your favour, it's cheaper to eat out than replace the fire extinguisher. :p
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If you're going to a meeting and have a feeling you'll fall asleep, take a generous amount of Beano in advance. You'll never nod off for fear of letting one slip. :lol