The Gang of Five
Beyond the Mysterious Beyond => The Fridge => Saurus Rock: Member Hall of Fame => Topic started by: Mumbling on June 16, 2011, 12:53:59 PM
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The rules for joining the Fanfiction Awards (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9466) (
You can still submit until JULY 17)
Submissions now closed
If you wish to vote in private, please send me a PM with your votes. Otherwise, please post your votes in this topic.
This is the voting section for the fanfiction awards. All fanfictions that have been submitted by your fellow members for voting are listed here. Please only post on this topic to submit your vote, do not ask questions or have discussions here. For questions, please click the link above and comment on the rules.
You may vote on as many fanfictions as you'd like, but you must have read them first. Please show us in your review that you've truly read the fanfiction.
Please copy the following form to vote:
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[b]Name of fanfiction:[/b] NAME HERE
[b]Rating:[/b] #/10
[b]Review:[/b] REVIEW HERE
The following fanfictions have been submitted for you to vote on:
Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Short summary: Five cold times have passed, and Pterano's exile is up, permitting him to return to the Great Valley. When Petrie goes missing, however, Pterano will have to put himself to the test to save not only his nephew, but to face the past that yawns behind as well.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=9570.0 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9290.0)
Author(s): Pterano
Comment by author: Thank you to everyone who has read this for your support and asking me to nominate this! I couldn't have done it without my readers!
Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Short summary: A LBT TV series! A single human comes to the world of LBT, A sort of cynical and maniacal Professor! The Gang has new adventures with someone who doesn't like talking about his past. I also focus on other characters a lot, and bring in some old faces!
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9377 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9098)
Author(s): vonboy
Name of fanfiction: The Two Hunters
Short summary: Times are changing, and Chomper is getting too big to stay in the valley. Littlefoot doesn't want to say goodbye, but what lengths will he go to to stay with his best friend?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9716 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9434)
Author(s): vonboy
Name of fanfiction: THE LAND BEFORE TIME: JOURNEY TO A NEW WORLD
Short summary: Two brothers create a time travel device that accidentally brings a certain little longneck into the 21st Century. Now Littlefoot has to find a way back home!
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9452 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9172)
Author(s): joshua1127, vonboy
Name of fanfiction: The Adventures of Littlefoot and Ali
Short summary: Ali and Ret (from the TV Series) return to The Great Valley after getting separated from their herd. What adventures await them while they wait?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=1868 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=1714)
Author(s): pokeplayer984
Name of fanfiction: Lost in a Forest
Short summary: Almost five years had passed since Pterano was banished to the Mysterious Beyond. Over those five years, Pterano has met a friend. No, not a mate. But a son figure. But this friend of Pterano's has a relative who wants revenge on Pterano and willing to go to great heights to get it. Will this friend of Pterano's go with his relative's revenge, or will he go with his gut and keep Pterano from harm?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9454 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9174)
Author(s): trulyfantasticme
Name of fanfiction: Always the Same Sun
Short summary: Two survivers from Pterano's herd had come to the Great Valley, and searching revenge on Pterano for leading them astray. Will they get they're revenge? Perhaps when they meet a certain flyer who also want revenge as much as they do...
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9660 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9378)
Author(s): trulyfantasticme
Name of fanfiction: Like a Son to Me
Short summary: It's exactly what happened in Chapter Six, "Recovery Part Two", but longer and more described. Devon's feeling like he's all alone and he needs Pterano to comfort him. It gets very emotional.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9598 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9318)
Author(s): trulyfantasticme
Comment by author: I recommend reading Lost in a Forest first, but this was a oneshot I did for Father's Day in honor of my dad. He was friggin awesome!
Name of fanfiction: Revenge II
Short summary: A mysterious new enemy arrives at the Great Valley, seeking revenge on Littlefoot and his friends. This dinosaur is connected to Littlefoot in some way, and he will do everything in his power to exact his revenge. With the help of an old friend, Littlefoot must rescue his captive friends from the clutches of this dangerous foe.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=4697 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=4483)
Author(s): LBTFan13
Comment by author: This one took a long time for me, and I am so happy with the end result. I want to thank everybody who stuck with me throughout my two year writing process!
Name of fanfiction: Revenge III
Short summary: The egg eater Ozzie has returned to the Great Valley after being stuck in the Mysterious Beyond for so long. Abandoning his brother, Strut, he unites numerous egg eaters and fast biters to lure Littlefoot out and make him pay for their previous encounter. Now, in order to save his friends, Littlefoot will have to make a risky alliance with Strut, as well as some other unexpected allies.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=7587 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=7331)
Author(s): LBTFan13
Comment by author: Again, this has been taking me a while to write. I'm only 7 chapters in, but I'm still brainstorming for ideas on what to do next. As always, I am grateful to those who have stuck with it this far, and I promise you all that I am working as hard as I can to make this the best that I absolutely can.
Name of fanfiction: Battle of the Sacred Essences 2: Corruption's Curse
Short summary: After the events of BOSE, life in the Great Valley returns to normal. Until one day, the once-thought ruined time portal to the human realm is reactivated and Littlefoot is kidnapped by invading humans to the year 327NE but is brought back to the dinosaur world by a terrible accident involving a boy named Kairyn and a mysteriously cloaked man known only as the Black Ghost. Littlefoot, still haunted by the departure of his human friends from his last adventure, finds that the trials and endeavours of his friends were yet not over. There was much more to the legend of the Sacred Essences than he first thought as a dark new threat approaches, but this time, his human friends are no where to be found.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=6991 (http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=6991)
Author(s): Littlefoot1616
Comment by author: BOSE is up on Fanfiction.net and the latter chapters of BOSE 2 are on the GOF. Links to both stories are available on the BOSE GOF page!
Name of fanfiction: Land Before Time: Far Away Home
Short summary: The Gang goes on their biggest adventure yet, going into and past the mysterious beyond into lands completely unknown. Guided by their new friend Sky the wingtail, Littlefoot, Cera, Ruby, Ducky, Petrie, Spike, and Chomper encounter new friends and get dragged into a web of villiany so grand it shakes the very foundations of the world they know.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...pic=6478.360 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=6233.360)
Author(s): Caustizer
Comment by author: A thousand thanks to all the reviewers that have helped me get as far as I have, and special thanks to Sky for his astounding artwork that made this story's contiuation possible. The story is only a few chapters away from completion, and will be finished by the end of the summer for sure.
Name of fanfiction: Quest for the Energy Stones
Short summary: A Land Before Time/Bionicle crossover. The villages of Mata Nui are brought to the Great Valley by an unknown force. When Makuta follows, it's up to the gang and their new friend Takua to find the Energy Stones to save the valley.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=2826 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=2647)
Author(s): The Chronicler
Comment by author: Okay, so this may have been finished over a year ago, but I'm still interested to see what everyone thinks of this.
Name of fanfiction: Total Drama Valley Season 2
Short summary: In this epic and hilarious sequel to Total Drama Valley, 16 of the past competitors are brought to the altered future to compete in an all-new series of challenges!
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=6064.0 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=5826.0)
Author(s): Brekclub85, The Great Valley Guardian.
Name of fanfiction: What have we done?
Short summary: In this, the first story of my New Generation cycle, Littlefoot and Cera end up falling in love and have to deal with the consequences, including the finding of a long-lost relative.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=1146 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=1015)
Author(s): Stitch
Name of fanfiction: Bambo
Short summary: The birth of a hatchling can be a joyous thing, especially if you and your mate were never expected to be able to have one.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=7553 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=7297)
Author(s): Stitch
Name of fanfiction: Terana
Short summary: It's Petrie and Ducky's turn to experience love's joys and hardships, including one that they thought would never happen.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=7838 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=7580)
Author(s):Stitch
Name of fanfiction: Legend of a Friendly Sharptooth
Short summary: We've seen what happened in the valley, so now it's time to visit the mysterious beyond with a sharptooth that we've known since the first sequel.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=7877 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=7619)
Author(s): Stitch
Name of fanfiction: Total Drama Valley
Short summary: In a crossover between LBT and Total Drama Island, 22 young dinosaurs are brought into a comedic and choatic contest with their eyes all set on the prize: The Stone of Cold Fire!
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=4560&hl= (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=4351&hl=)
Author(s): Brekclub85
Name of fanfiction: One Time Thing
Short summary: Thud is injured yet again and goes to Chomper for help.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8980&hl= (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=8702&hl=)
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua
Name of fanfiction: Guilty Until Proven Innocent
Short summary: Something temporary turns into a deadly habit for a certain trio of Domeheads. They arrive to the Valley and Chomper is blamed for their crimes. How could he clear his name and expose the true culprits when the grown-ups won't believe him?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8982&hl= (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=8704&hl=)
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua
Name of fanfiction: Self Control
Short summary: Some Egg Stealers lack the namesake of this story's title and just aren't fit to be parents, as Ozzy is about to learn.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8848&hl= (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=8571&hl=)
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua
Name of fanfiction: Being the Bigger Sharptooth
Short summary: There's always someone better than you. A new sharptooth attacks and takes Red Claw's territory. His companions killed and himself nearly dead, Thud wants revenge, but first he must recover with a little help from a Great Valley friend.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8983&hl= (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=8705&hl=)
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua
Name of fanfiction: Betting Game
Short summary: Set before the TV series. A simple game, hunt, and deadly accident leads to a cross-species alliance between sharpteeth. The start of the Redclaw, Screech, and Thud team.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=8981&hl= (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=8703&hl=)
Author(s): FlipperBoidSkua
Name of fanfiction: The Mystery Of The Blackweeds
Short summary: After a brief expedition into the Mysterious Beyond, Littlefoot and his friends encounter a group of strange dinosaurs, calling themselves the Blackweed Brotherhood. They insist that they are friendly, but can they truly be trusted?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: URL=http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9133]http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9412[/URL]
Author(s): Allicloud
Author's comment: Thanks to Vonboy for suggesting nominating, and thanks to any readers who support me.
Name of fanfiction: Far Away Home: Another Day
Short summary: Short Story about Sky and his difficulties with raising his son, dealing with his brother in law, and becoming accepted in a homeland that resents him for past wrongs.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...9767.0#lastPost (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9485.0#lastPost)
Author(s): Caustizer
Author's comment: Short story made for Sky to get him out of his depression.
Name of fanfiction: Twilight Valley
Short summary: A mysterious sharptooth seeks the mythical Stone of Cold Fire for his own evil desires. When that stone plunges into the Great Valley, he amasses his forces to seize it. Can Littlefoot and his friends stop him from plunging their home into total war?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...65.220#lastPost (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=2686.220#lastPost)
Author(s): Serris
Author's comment: This fan fic is exceptionally violent for a Land Before Time story and is not intended for anyone under the age of thirteen.
Name of fanfiction: The Land Before Time: Sharptooth Valley
Short summary: When Chomper wishes he had more sharpteeth friends, the Stone of Cold Fire grants this, and he soon wakes up in a world where all the herbivores and carnivores have switched places!
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...wtopic=4450&hl= (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=4244&hl=)
Author(s): Brekclub85
Author's comment: This fan fic is exceptionally violent for a Land Before Time story and is not intended for anyone under the age of thirteen.
Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 10/10
Review: I really wrestled with whether to give this a 9 or a 10. In the end, I think this story did the best it could have at what it was trying to do, so I gave it a 10! This was a fantastic story about redeeming oneself. This story was done differently than a certain other story about Pterano. While one story tried to make Pterano a BADASS, Pterano (The member :p) focused a lot more on really humbling Pterano. I loved the angle of a long forgotten person from his past testing him. I kept guessing through the whole story as to who this lost face was, and was ultimately surprised at just WHO it was. Another great thing about this story was it brought in several characters other than Pterano that had done bad things in the past, and redeemed them as well. It was great that he got Chomper in there somehow, when I know he had no intention of that when he first began writing the story. He even got everyone involved with Pterano's part of the story! A great twist to the story was that Pterano didn't REALLY do anything in the end. He had to be saved by other characters. He wasn't the hero, but that was what had to happen. He didn't get a chance to act cocky. He got to realize that he's not really all he's cracked up to be, and he shouldn't be glorifying himself all the time. A kind of ironic thing about this story was the bad guy actually did something good for Pterano through all of this; By helping him to change. This was a story that started out innocent enough, but constantly got darker and darker as time went on. I really liked how he eased us into it, but even then, the climax was REALLY dark, and it blew me away! I'm glad that Pterano ultimately "conquered" his past in a way, and now feels like he'll be able to deal with the horrible things that happened way back when. Overall, a really well woven story. I look forward to what you do next!
To Pokeplayer, I'll read your story and write a review of it at some point in the future. This goes to anybody else that submits their fanfictions. I'll try to read and review everyone's fics...if I have enough time for it!
Name of fanfiction: The Two Hunters
Rating: 9/10
Review: This was certainly a darker story, but the author pulls it off very well. He explores a scenario in which Littlefoot is forced to say goodbye to Chomper when the day finally arrives when Chomper must depart the Great Valley. I thought the scenario where Littlefoot makes a last minute decision to join his friend of old was not overdone, nor was it written in such a way as to make it unbelievable. You might question it at first, but you find yourself sucked right in, and looking at Littlefoot's actions as very in line with what he MIGHT in fact do someday, depending on how he spends his days growing up and how close he draws to Chomper. This was a short, intensely dark story that still spoke powerfully to the reader, and did a very good job on demonstrating how one's fraternal love for another can follow one throughout their life. Vonboy pulls off emotions very well in this brief oneshot, and I give it quite high marks for attempting what most readers would initially look at as a pretty unbelievable read. This story could easily fall flat on its face, but vonboy gets the job done, and pulls this one through to a successful 9 out of 10.
Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Rating: 8/10
Review: I really wish I could review individual episodes, but I guess that's what the Fanart and Fanfiction section of the forum is for. :p This is an ongoing script format style story that mimics new seasons of the Land Before Time show, had the show in fact been continued by Universal. While the script style does not strictly follow what a teleplay should look like if one were writing a true script, vonboy has been using this format so long that there wouldn't be much point in changing it now. The first season was a little hit or miss for me, with some episodes lacking clear direction and having some "filler" parts in them, but at the same time, a lot of the stories were good as well, and vonboy has a knack for writing very personal stories that speak to the reader and get them involved as if they were really watching all of this play out. The second season is where he really starts to shine, and aside from one episode that was a bit more bizarre than the rest, I don't think a single one of the them in the second season deserves lower than an 8/10 rating, and I'd even go so far as to give one or two a 10/10. Three in particular that I would give nines or tens to would be the three most recent ones: "The Leafeater and the Little Biter", "That Spark for Adventure", and "Our Very Own Redclaw!". Vonboy REALLY wrote these episodes well, and each have very memorable moments for me. I think my personal favorite was the first of the three that I mentioned, as his style of narration was very well put together, and drew me right in. It spoke to me throughout the whole episode, and reading it was a real pleasure. "That Spark for Adventure" had a few powerful scenes in it as well, such as Chomper's Song of Passing that vonboy wrote in such a clear and imaginative style that left me pausing my reading to simply digest what I'd just read. The storytelling is the strongest feature of this series, and save for a few episodes in the first season that just weren't as strong as I felt they could be, this season gets a solid 8/10 from me.
Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 10/10
Review: A TOTALLY AWESOME story about how Pterano redeems himself once more and realizes that he's not the king of the world. :lol But I also like how Pterano and Petrie came together in a stronger bond in the end. I find that very touching and heartwarming.
PS. Is it too late to submit my stories?
PS. Is it too late to submit my stories?
According to this thread: http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=9756 (http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=9756), you have until July 17th to submit your stories, so no, it's not too late.
Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Rating: 8/10
Review: I am giving Vonboy's story 8 thumbs up!!! cause it had a human that the dinosaur characters call "The Professor" :lol Wish I knew what his real name is though. but I like it a lot!!
The Professor had a communicator so that he can speak dinosaur and when the communicator broke Littlefoot and the his pals couldn't understand the Professor :wow I was shocked when Littlefoot and his pals could not understand human talk. There were some chapters that I liked and some that I didn't. In Parents Know Best there was the part when the professor set off fireworks and caused a forest fire by accident and Littlefoot stood up for him ;) which I believe was wise. in The Colors of The Rainbow the two mysterious rainbow faces, which I believe are aliens, came and wondered about The Professor. they saw all of his stuff and believed that he was from another world, which he is. In the Ape man I like the part when the device around the professor's arm got damanged and that Littlefoot and his friends can't understand him at all.
in episode 14 and 15 Pterano returns and the grown ups still don't trust him cause of what happened in the 7th LBT movie. Pterano got misjudged as Rinkus and Sierria returned and treatened the young ones.
The rest of the episodes I like a lot and read but I don't have the thought of giving more details.
I remember one episode had the Yellow Bellies Loofah, Doofah and Foobie :lol unfortunately I've forgotten the title of the episode. but oh well :DD
I also helped Vonboy with good LBT names that he want me to give him ;)
Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 10/10
Review: This fanfic really took me by surprise. There are quite a number of fanfics about Pterano on FF.net, and a lot of them have unique takes on the character itself. This one struck me the most out of all of them. A lot of how I feel about this fanfic has been stated in other reviews, and I agree with them fully. I absolutely love the dark tone throughout the story and just how Pterano really works to make a change in his present life so he can deal with his past and look on ahead to his future. Above that, the story itself is written very well, and the pacing is perfect.
Name of fanfiction: The Two Hunters
Rating: 4/10
Review: A short piece of work. The first part of the story is good. The characters are definitely the way they would be as children dinosaurs and Littlefoot's everlasting love for adventure. I think it's too bad however that you skipped the ESSENTIAL part of the story by saying 'Many years later'. How do the characters change, what have they experienced? The unrealistic continuation of the story in part two is what really set me off. I feel the thing that could have made this dark story a great one is missing. Now it is simply a short, awkward story. Also a personal feeling is that I don't like swearwords in such texts, even though they are blocked out. It's not really appropriate.
Name of fanfiction: Lost in a Forest
Rating: 8/10
Review: The writer does a lot of things right in this story, but also a couple of things a little wrong in my eyes. One thing Trulyfantasticme is good at is cliffhangers! Many chapters had these cliffhangers, which ranged from not knowing if a characters was still alive or not, to mysterious voices from characters that weren't revealed till the next chapter. This keeps the reader on the edge of his seat, and it goes along with a Code Monkey's quote I remember. "Always keep em guessin...Always keep em guessin!". This story also has a lot of variety in it. You won't know quite what you'll be getting yourself into when you begin a chapter. Some chapters are very touching, with very good descriptions of what characters are doing to each other, and how they feel. Other chapters, on the other hand, are intense! She writes action in a pretty interesting way I think. It's very over the top, and almost comical in a way. It might be a little hard to believe sometimes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing! The action in this story has a kind of comic book feel to it in my eyes, which is kind of weird for a LBT fanfic, but the writer fits it in well! It's interesting, because you don't EXPECT a writer to write in two different ways like that, and also both ways WELL. About the story itself, it was a great story! I think it's basically about a son who has a father he doesn't want, and someone who always WANTED a son. The Revenge aspect was my favorite part of the story. A few problems with this though is some chapters are very short. That kind of disappointed me in a way. I would rather have less chapters, but longer ones. I remember at one point, she was posting a chapter a day for like a week! Going that fast isn't really a good idea. I think the quality of her writing suffered a little because of that. Also, some people on this board aren't on everyday, and just can't keep up with something like that! I rushed out season 1 of my fic, and...well, you saw how THAT turned out. :bang I think if the writer would just take her time, she could post awesome, well thought-out chapters that are a joy to read! Taking your time on it would also probably help with grammar, which, while not THAT bad, could be better. Overall, while this story has a few aspects I didn't like about it, the good out-ways the bad. This is still a great story to read, and I recommend it for someone looking for emotion AND excitement!
Name of fanfiction: Revenge II
Rating: 8/10
Review: So my third review is about Revenge II. I really struggled with whether to give it a 9 or an 8, but I'll explain why I chose what I chose in my review. This is a very dark story about a revenge scheme on Littlefoot that is perpetrated by Blacktail, a fastbiter. The author made use of good suspense to keep his reader on edge, and wrote his action scenes fairly well, though sometimes they got a little repetitive with word choices, but I also understand that he wanted to wear the protagonists out, and make it seem as if they were facing hopeless odds. I ran into some issues while reading this story though, such as incorrect punctuation from time to time, and some misspellings or misuses of words. I think having a proofreader go over his work would help him out a lot, and make this story even better in terms of grammar, spelling, and punctuation, but it was by no means horrible, though it could be a little cleaner. Sometimes it is hard to tell who is speaking, as he has a habit of writing the character that is being addressed right after the speaker talks, and this can lead to confusion sometimes, especially when the next paragraph of dialogue has no name after it after the quotation marks end. There are some contradictory bits as well, such as Rooter claiming he didn't know the young threehorn that had died very well, but then saying he spent a long, long time with him. Once again, this is an instance of where a proofreader would really help to catch inconsistencies like that, and help the author to avoid them altogether. I also think the cursing was a bit overused. I don't mind it much, but I'd perfer to see not so much of it in an LBT fic, as too much just seems a bit out of character in my opinion. The pacing seemed a little too fast as well in some scenes, and I felt as if some bits of the story were rushed.
On the positive side, however, the author had EXCELLENT characters, and I gave him very high marks for his villain, Blacktail. He was complex, interesting, and even had me feeling sympathetic for him at certain points. LBTFan13 also left me respecting Blacktail as a villain, and found myself wishing I could know more about him, and I even found myself a tad disappointed at his fate, too, as he was such a great antagonist. The plot twists were very good, and I must say the one at the end where Scarbeak attacks Blacktail was superb, as I did not see it coming, and it was rather a surprising twist to Blacktail's fate, and something I certainly couldn't predict. Where LBTFan13 really shines though, is his ability to create emotions within his reader. I found myself getting teary eyed at more than one scene in this work, and even though it was very dark, there were also scenes that were incredibly sad, or very powerful, and worked to tug at your emotions whenever they cropped up. Any writer who can do that is good in my book, and I think it's one of LBTFan13's best strengths as a writer. He does it well, and he does it with skill.
Whew, so I'm pushing three paragraphs here, so I'd better wrap up this review for now. With interesting characters, an exceptional villain, powerful emotional scenes, and good suspense, I feel that with the help of a proofreader, this story would have definitely been a 9 or even a 10. LBTFan13 tells a good, strong story, and gets a solid 8/10 from me.
Name of fanfiction: Land Before Time: Far Away Home
Rating: 8/10
Review: An LBT fanfictional piece that retains the core characteristics of the mainstay characters of the LBT universe whilst not being afraid to explore some deeper concepts such as Littlefoot and co as adults with their offspring (admittingly not a concept I'm overly fond of but still, execution is done well). Narrative is descriptive, flows with great fluency and the perspective of the story is inventive and dynamic switching from a tale the gang are telling their children to the actual running prose of the story being told. With a cast of additional characters (the Wingtails; credit to Sky for their superb design) that are vivid and memorable and possess just as much heart, soul and depth as the LBT characters we know and love. Pacing is a little choppy in places, sometimes slipping into a bit of crawl at times but it does not break the immersion of this tale of acceptance, loyalty and friendship. All this and I haven't even read all of it! Definitely a piece to invest your time in
Name of fanfiction: The Two Hunters
Rating: 5/10
Review: An interesting concept for a short story but one that strays a little too far from the established natures of the characters for my personal liking. Story starts out with a good lead into an intriguing idea about the relationship between Chomper and Littlefoot but doesn't seem to develop much more beyond the fact that Chomper is a meat eater and Littlefoot kind of just accepting it without any real clash of judgement. Acknowledging that this is a one-hitter, transition of the story is a bit too slap-dash with a quick flash-forward to how things suddenly are as the norm. A little more of a deeper dive into how this coalition formed could have really brought out a real warped frame of mind and personal struggle of Littlefoot accepting a fact of life he know deep down he cannot change. A little more development of this story and exploration of characters would boost this one-shot into a real emotional drama worthy of a few more star ranks. Points for the idea, just needs a little more on the delivery.
Name of fanfiction: Lost in a Forest
Rating: 7/10
Review: My fourth review covers trulyfantasticme's Lost in a Forest. This is a rather moving story about Pterano's return to the Great Valley, and his running into new adventures, including stumbling upon Sierra's outcast son, Devon. As with my previous review, I think trulyfanasticme could benefit from having a proofreader, as there are some spelling errors that persist throughout the work, and most of the chapters could do with some punctuation and grammatical cleanup. A few of the chapters seemed rushed, with very fast pacing, and as vonboy said, it's better to post a chapter once you feel you've worked it out well enough and aren't rushing things, and not just post to keep up with a time limit you've set for yourself. Don't post for the sheer sake of posting, but make sure to take your time and plan your chapters out and write them until they work not just for you, but your readers as well, where once again, a proofreader can be useful.
On the positive side, her character Devon was a very strong OC introduction to the LBT universe, and I think he made for an excellent character concept. In fact, I think he may be one of the best OCs I've come across in my reading of LBT fanfics, and she deserves a lot of credit for creating him. A lot of the chapters were very warm, and personal, and I think trulyfanstasticme pulled these chapters off well. Her story was fairly solid, and the character development for both Devon and Pterano was good. Having Devon as the son of Sierra was a good concept on her part, and having him become Pteraon's adopted son was a great contrast in character studies, and a good path to put Devon on, as it really showed his growth throughout her story. She was good at keeping the reader in suspense as well, and had many cliffhangers at the end of her chapters that gave the story a classic serial feel to it.
I thought this was a very good, emotional and moving story of personal growth and love, but there was still some room for improvement as well. I'd say, like vonboy, that the positives outweigh the negatives, and she still has a solid standing with Lost in a Forest. With a stronger hold on the pacing and corrections to misspellings and grammar, this story would have been an 8, 9, or possibly 10 in my book. My rating for Lost in a Forest is 7/10.
Name of fanfiction: The Adventures of Littlefoot and Ali
Rating: 7/10
Review: So far, I'm really into the story. An interesting love triangle between Littlefoot, Ali, and Rhett. (That's how I spell his name. Deal with it!). Your style of writing is fine with me. I can understand what's going on. Kind of weird how you started out the story VERY dark, and only later revealed the main conflict in a less dark way. You have a big contrast between some chapters. Some are bloody and dark, and some are light-hearted and playful. I like that aspect of it. It keeps the reader guessing as to what the next chapter will be like. I don't like how your handling Rhett in this story though. I don't believe someone like that could make a 360 change like that so fast! I'm not even sure you believe it yourself, as you're still kinda keeping his personality from the TV episode he appeared in. You introduced some minor/one-off characters that don't appear often in other fic'c I've read, which is a nice change. I personally liked the way you handled Rooter. Just introduce him, have him get kids back to valley, mention Littlefoot, and walk into the sunset:b. Now, I didn't like the way you handled Dil :(. One minor thing I found rather interesting is when Chomper sort of... slept-hunted? I don't know if I'd quite call it that, but I really liked that bit! Right now, your at a BIG cliffhanger, and the story could go a variety of ways. I wish I could wait to write a review of a finished fanfic, but it doesn't look like it'll be done by then. I mean, slowly writing this story over about 4 years, and it's STILL not done!? I'd never have patience like that! This might have some flaws, but it's an interesting read, and I hope you finish it someday. Maybe my review of this story in 2025 will be higher :b
Name of fanfiction: The Adventures of Littlefoot and Ali
Rating: 6/10
Review: My fifth review will be covering Pokeplayer984's story. I can say that there is a lot of room for improvement in the earlier chapters, and Pokeplayer984 doesn't start hitting his stride until around chapter 8 or so. There's a bad habit that I noticed the author tends to get into, though fortunatley, there's an easy fix for it too. I took note that the author will use the same word up to three or more times in the same paragraph, such as "soon", or "sighed", or "shaking", etc. This can harm the pacing of the story, but it's easily fixable with a thesaurus. If you feel you're beginning to get a little repetitious with your words, whip this sucker out and look up alternate words you can use. As one example, he used no word other than "hill" to describe what Rhett and Ali were on in the beginning of the story, but he can try to use "slope" or "bluff" or "eminence" to mix things up and get it so that the reader isn't reading "hill, hill, hill" every so many words.
I felt the pacing was hurt quite a lot in this story by a lack of description. The author tends to simply state what's going on, such as "this occurred. They felt that. That happened. They felt this", etc. The use of similes and metaphors can really spice up the writing, and would go a long well in helping this story's pacing out. Rather than just stating "Littlefoot sighed unhappily", the writer could try "Littlefoot could feel the gut wrenching feeling boiling in his stomach, hotter than any magma pit he'd ever ventured near." Same with Ali and her legs looking like they were at an unnatural angle. It doesn't really paint a clear picture in the reader's head, so the author might try: "her legs twisted and bent like the gnarled roots of a tree, misshapen and contorted as she lay upon the cold stone floor" or something. It feels more like each chapter is a summary of what's going on, rather than an immersive, in depth experience, which is how a story should be, at least in my opinion.
There were also some incorrect placements of words at various spots, though overall, punctuation and grammar isn't too bad, though there were a few run on sentences that could have benefited from the use of commas. Pokeplayer984 does start coming together around chapter 8, however, and writes his emotions a bit more clearly. His descriptions get better, and start speaking to the reader a bit more clearly. The love triangle is tense, and the rising action is good as well, which I think in the end saved the story a bit, and gave the reader something more fresh to go on. This story could do with a lot of clean up, but it's good to see it getting better as it goes as well, and a sign of improvement is always good. This story could easily be an 8 or higher after cleanup and the use of more description, so right now, my rating for this story is 6/10.
Name of fanfiction: TOTAL DRAMA VALLEY Season 2
Rating: 8/10
Review: I really like this series so far. I've seen most of the first season of TOTAL DRAMA ACTION!, so I had an idea of what to expect. The two writers do a very good job of keeping in style with the TV series their parodying. It's exciting, and each episode keeps me wanting to read more. The writers weave a complex web of relationships, alliances, back-stabbing, sabotages, cruel sick jokes, and anything else you think might be exciting. LBT and TOTAL DRAMA ACTION is a really strange mix, but it's done well in this case. The personality of all the LBT characters and OC's really come out, which is very important for something like this. There is also a lot of humor in this series, which I like. Not many LBT Fanfic's are funny, but this is by far the funniest one I've ever read! One recurring thing I liked was how it often seems like something horrible is about to happen, such as an execution, but it turns out it's just the host toying with everyone again! One little thing I'll bring up is that none of these "episodes" are actually long enough to be real episodes. I don't know if the writers care about this, but it was something I noticed because It's the same way with my TV series fic. I won't take off any points for that, but I just wanted to bring it to light. One little gripe is with the grammar. There's typo's here and there, and occasionally wrong words are used, making a sentence kind of confusing. It breaks up the action when I have to reread a sentence to understand it. A little more time could be put into proof reading these episodes. Reading season 2 without reading season 1 first wasn't a problem for me, as far as knowing whats going on, or getting lost. It is kind of spoiling some things about the first season for me, but I'll just take it as a teaser :b. I was sad after I read episode 13. I was really getting into it, and was wanting to see the 2nd aftermath. Overall, this is an over the top, hilarious, exciting series that will keep you hooked all the way through! Grammar could be improved, but you'll be too busy laughing to notice much. ;) I can't wait for these two writers to finish this season! :DD
Name of fanfiction: Legend of a Friendly Sharptooth
Rating: 7/10
Review: I actually already read this oneshot on Fanfiction'net a couple months back, while searching through there for any Chomper centered stories. I quite liked this short story, which gave a purpose to Chomper. I loved the rivalry between him and Redclaw, the mysteriousness about him, and how he loved the Great Valley and wanted to keep it safe. The ending really made me tear up I must say, so good job on that! I thought the tale this writer put together was believable, especially how it didn't seem to contradict any cannon to me. It filled in the blanks(And there's a LOT of them) around Chomper living in the Great Valley. I love it when writers do that! Overall, this is an enjoyable story that will make you cry, though I feel I can't give it a perfect score. Can't quite put my finger on it, but something just seems a little lacking.
Name of fanfiction:Like a Son to Me
Rating: 9/10
Review: This is basically a chapter of Lost in the Forest. The writer seemed to like this moment in his story so much, that she took it and re-wrote it. This is a very touching snippet of the story that shows Devon's feelings towards both his biological father and his new father. I loved the short glimpses into the poor flyers troubled past. That really made you feel for the character, and made it all the more meaningful when Pterano takes him under his wing as his son. This is a well wrote chapter (I still feel like it's part of Lost in a Forest), and if the writer would take the time to re-write the entire story like he did this one chapter, she could end up with an amazing story that I could rate a 9 or even a 10. That story had everything it needed to be great, but it could have been executed better. Overall, this gives you a glimpse into what Lost in a Forest could have been. On it's own, it's a great short oneshot, and I recommend you read it whether you've read Lost in a Forest or not.
Yea, I edited this, but I haven't changed the score! It was still originally a 9.
Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 8/10
Review: A nice little tale that fleshes Pterano's character and his relationship with Petrie and the others very well. It had e gripped from start to finish. It also did a really good job with deflating the main character's ego down several notches to acceptable levels, and the process of his redemption was very nicely executed.
Name of Fanfiction: Past-O-Rama
Rating: 9/10
Review: A very well written story that despite it being written in script format, the plot is as suspenseful and easy to follow as any story-written fanfic. The bringing a modern person to the LBT times concept works well here, as I enjoyed seeing the Professor show the gang modern concepts and in turn, learning how the gang acts and views things. Although the author's portrayal of Chomper is not the same as my own, it was a nice take on the little sharptooth.
Name of Fanfiction: Revenge III
Rating: 9/10
Review: Wow, this takes me back. The stories Revenge I and III (for some reason, I never read the second one) rate as one of my favorite Land Before Time stories, mainly because of the antagonists. In the first story, it was Sierra and Rinkus (SIERRA WHOOOOOO!!!!), now it's Ozzy in the third item of installment. He happens to be one of my favorite characters too and that's what primarily motivated me to read Revenge III. I don't regret it at all. Turns out Thud, Screech, and Redclaw makes a major appearance too and I remember spazzing out about Thud helping Strut.
I can definitely look past the things that bother me, such as Littlefoot's snapping, violence in the face of threat. I guess I can understand that after all he's been through and if I remember correctly, the hardships Littlefoot had to go through from the first movie onward was the primary source of his snapping in Revenge I. And the general LittlefootxCera pairing is something I can very easily tolerate in a story, and his was no exception.
In Revenge III, I understand Littlefoot's initial paranoia that something's going to happen (which it does) and I love the kids' hostility towards Strut when the latter comes to warn them of his brother's plans. Cera and Chomper gets kidnapped as a result of this ignoring and it's Chomper's kidnapping that prompts Thud to spare Strut and help him in the rescue. And Redclaw....Oh my God, LBTFan13 made him a bad***, something the TV Series is too sugarcoated to show. I can read that scene where Redclaw massacres that pack of Fast biters over and over. Then he's actually given a heart, enough to spare Chomper once Thud tells him the little guy saved his life back in the episode of Escape from the Mysterious Beyond.
This story was awesome, with very few 'flaws'. It is for those who like a darker tone to the Land Before Time, though, and those who don't mind violence. Overall, I give it a 9/10 for being sooooo freakin' hardcore awesome!!!
Okay, before I begin, let me point a little something out. The fact is that not many of these stories hold plots that seems interesting enough for me to read them. I tried with a few, but a part of me seems uninterested to even read LBT fanfics in general. I don't know what's wrong with me currently, but just know, I'm not interested in them right now.
There is at least one that I've read before this whole awards thing happened. So I can at least give a review for that.
~~~~~~
Name of fanfiction: What have we done?
Author: Stitch
Rating: 9/10
Aside from a few mistakes with grammar and punctuation, this is a very well made Littlefoot&Cera story. LACRN (Littlefoot & Cera Romance Novel(s)) are lacking in favor of LAARN (Littlefoot & Ali Romance Novel(s)). It's quite understandable when you think about it.
Anyways, what I liked most was the conflict presented with the fact that they were two completely different species. I'm kind of used to the idea by now thanks to stuff like Pokemon, but I can't forget that in that world that kind of thing is common, but back to the story. It becomes even better with the fact of Cera's father being against it. He makes an excellent opponent for them to face just in the name of love.
I was surprised that in this story, Cera's mom was alive. (And kicking Topsy's ego.) I know this revelation was mainly just used to help solve the whole problem, but it was still quite a surprise in the end.
Great story and I'm hoping to see more.
~~~
That's all I'll do for now. Sorry guys, but I don't have much interest right now. -_-
Name of fanfiction: Battle of the Sacred Essences 2: Corruption's Curse
Rating: 10/10
Review: I usually try to avoid giving someone a perfect score, but I just can't do such a thing to this series. The first Battle of the Sacred Essences is without a doubt one of my favorite fanfics of all famdoms, let alone of all LBT fanfics. The first one was written so well that I consider it the original "human in the LBT universe" fanfic, because it really was the first LBT fanfic to feature a human character. I've seen a lot of later fanfics have models based on this one (some a little too much), which proves just how popular it really was. Even I have to admit that there were some parts of this fanfic that inspired me with a few ideas that I used for my first fanfic.
Sadly, the first Battle of the Sacred Essences is not nominated this year. Instead, I must vote for the sequel, but I hardly consider that a bad thing. The sequel is just as good as the first. This fanfic has more human characters than the previous one, many of whom are friends and family of the focus character, Kairyn. Unlike Jason from the first story (who literally had nobody to miss him), Kairyn is taken away from an ordinary life and separated from everyone he knows and loves. Well, except for one of his friends, Melissa (I honestly didn't see that one coming). Not to mention that he and the gang end up being forced to work together with the mysterious Black Ghost, whom Kairyn clearly despises. Seeing as this story is still in progress, I can't wait to see what happens next.
(To give you an idea of how great I find this story so far, I didn't need to go back and reread it for me to remember enough give an accurate score (which I must do for all the other nominated fanfics). That is how epic I consider this story!)
Name of fanfiction: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: This is a good story and one that kept me reading, which can be hard sometimes with other works of fanfiction because of how picky I am with the details. There is flowing prose, elegant plot weaving, and intrigue that keeps the reader and reviewer entertained throughout the whole thing. However, I do have some quams with the story that almost killed it for me (it's not personal I'm just difficult to please :angel). The vocabulary of some characters is too large and exotic and in some places dialogue carries on and on to the point where it starts to feel like it's out of character completely (Pterano's speetch about air manuevres is a good example of this). There are also other minor cases of character inconsitancy (Petrie sometimes talks normally) and logical dilemas (Pterano gets a 'welcome back to the valley' quite unlike what a returning convict would ever get in real life) but they don't detract from the enjoyability of the plot at all.
Overall I would say that this is one of the better stories I've read on the Gang of Five and a look forward to more of this authors works with enthusiasm and encouragement.
This one is rather tough for me. I have read and continue to follow numerous fanfics written by GOF members. "Twilight Valley" by Serris and "Far Away Home" by Caustizer have come along really nicely thus far, and Stitch has written some cute ones. Because his series has been around the longest of all the GOF member fanfics I've followed, and because I continue to follow and anticipate what happens next in the series, my vote goes to:
Name of Fanfiction: Revenge III
Rating: 10/10
Review: Aside from what I mentioned above, LBTFan13 continues to find ways to keep me on the edge of my seat with his trilogy. It has the perfect sense of darkness, and yet has equally light moments. He has definitely given me a few scares with his cliffhangers and has made me cry or laugh my arse off or whatever emotion he attempted to convey in his scenes. That, to me, makes a great writer, and his skillful writing has eared him my vote for his final part of the trilogy. :goodluck
This one is rather tough for me. I have read and continue to follow numerous fanfics written by GOF members. "Twilight Valley" by Serris and "Far Away Home" by Caustizer have come along really nicely thus far, and Stitch has written some cute ones. Because his series has been around the longest of all the GOF member fanfics I've followed, and because I continue to follow and anticipate what happens next in the series, my vote goes to:
It is allowed, and in fact encouraged to review multiple fanfictions for this award :) I have about four or five of them I plan to do before the 17th, so if you enjoy Stitch and my works then don't be afraid to post your thoughts on them as well. :angel
Name of fanfiction: Past-O-Rama
Rating: 7/10
Review: This story has an interesting format, and is similar to Rise of Storm Tide on my signature in that it is written by script. The author's commitment to the story is substantial, with the first season already finished and the second already half done. As the story progresses it becomes better written with each episode, as is standard while the writer grasps what they want out of their story. All that being said what prevents Past-O-Rama from getting a higher score in my eyes is the lack of description of character actions between lines, which as I found out with Storm Tide can make certain lines of prose seem out of place since the emotion behind the character's speech is unrevealed. A good example of this is when Cera and Ducky suddenly decide to say that they don't like the Proffessor because of his views on sharpteeth (Usually dislike is thought or acted rather then spoken directly). The Proffessor is another issue entirely, and while he definately contributes to the story he seems to possess an insufficiant level of intelligence or scientific passion that I would expect of a human visiting the land of the dinosaurs. I would have expected him to, say, take DNA samples, snap pictures, and question the gang on aspects of behaviour rather then simply go along with them like a normal human being would.
Despite my minor detail quams however this story becomes quite interesting as you proceed to the later chapters, and is definately worth reading as sort of a 'replacement' for the Second Season of the LBT Tv series that will never happen :angel
Name of fanfiction: "What Have We Done?!"
Rating: 9/10
Review: This is probably my first look into LBT romance fics, and I must say, judging by what alot of people say about other ones, this appears to be one of the better examples. Despite the forbidden romance being the main plot point, it managed to talk about it in a relatively implicit way; not dwelling on it too much. It was well written, people were in character, and the introduction of Cera's mother was a nice touch. My only real qualm was the length, but that's just personal choice: I'm more a fan of relatively long fics. 3 relatively short chapters to do an entire story, just seemed a little quick, but that's just me.
Name of Fanfiction: Battle of the Sacred Essences 2: Corruption's Curse
Rating: 9/10
I must say, this is one of the most epic stories I have ever read. Having read the first story, I was more than a little excited when I saw that he had written a sequel.
As I was reading it, I did catch the references to other works that were sprinkled throughout. The group that seemed to be referenced the most was Organization 13. It makes sense, since the story has the feel of a Kingdom Hearts tale. I'm sure that there were more references, but I haven't played the games in a little while.
One of the most interesting plot twists, I thought, whas when Kairyn had to team up with both the gang of five and the Black Ghost (who kind of reminds me of Axel) in order to find the great valley. It was a nice way of showing a journey before having more human influences in the LBT world.
In short, this is one story that I really enjoyed reading, and I can't wait for the next chapter. Great job.
Name of fanfiction Far Away Home
Rating 10/10
Review Cautizer is one of the most talented fanfic writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading works from, and Far Away Home is no exception. he crafts everything from his plot to the character dialogue so well that I almost forget that I'm reading a fanfic, I'm simply reading a great story. One of the more difficult challenges is writing an OC into a story like this and keeping him/her balanced with the other characters, and yet in here I could picture Sky the Wingtail as if he were already a part of the LBT universe. So much time and effort has been put into this story to make it the best it can be, and it really shows the passion Cautizer has for his story. I am proud to give his story a 10/10!
Reviewing is not really my strength, but I will try my very best. :)
Name of fanfiction: Land Before Time: Far Away Home
Rating: 10/10
Review:
Short Summary: At the beginning, the gang is seen as adults with Sky, a blue wingtail, telling the story of Far Away Home to their children. Of course, the story itself is focused on the gang in their younger years getting older by the time through the whole story. They meet the intelligent blue wingtail Sky who is seeking for his beloved mate Star at Feral Forest. Sky has not only enemies of sharpteeth, but also enemies of his own kind, blaming him for theft of a small item called "the Occular". Eybron is of them and seeks to rule the whole land. Glide, the older brother of Star, is against Sky's partnership with Star, making him an antagonist as well. The gang make their way with their new wingtail friend to find the Feral Forest, his "Far Away Home".
Impressions:
A story that started almost 2(!) years ago, is still ongoing but nearing it's final chapter. Written by a great writer named Caustizer, this story is a great and enjoyful read for those who like long and deep stories. :yes A lot of old characters from the LBT universe but also new characters as well are included. The personalities of the gang and other well known characters still remain, but with a deeper plot. The reason for this story is because of my wingtail characters. He saw my creations, but was disappointed by the lack of backgroundstory. So he decided to write one himself and he made it really, really good. Although, a part of me is quite jealous and a little sad as I have the feeling he's making a much better job with my wingtails than I do... :unsure:
What I like about this story are the different views. One time you see Sky, Littlefoot and Ali, the other time you see Ruby, Chomper and other characters. It makes the story more varied and interesting. Heh, but what I really like are the romantic scenes with Sky and Star. It always touches my heart and brings me always a smile to my face. :wub A very great written fanfiction with a lot of depth that keeps you on the edge of your seat everytime. An excitement that makes you eager to read the next chapter! :DD
Name of fanfiction: Far Away Home: Another Day
Rating: 10/10
Review:
Short Summary: A little story about a father with his little wingtail child. Cloud, the son of Sky and Star, get's teased and bullied by his classmates because of the actions his father Sky has done in the past. As a caring and loving parent, Sky tries to set things right and hopes to give him and his son a little respect.
Impressions:
A sweet little story that was written especially for me due to my depression. Written by the same author who wrote "Far Away Home", Caustizer. A very nice, yet short story to read. All the things a father would do to give his offspring a better life, it makes me feel really warm inside. :^.^: The story only has three parts, but it has a lot of detail in it which makes it a very joyful read.
Name of fanfic: Guilty until proven Innocent.
Rating: 10/10
Review:
My first impression was rather skeptical as I read alot of Land Before Time Fanfiction, but after reading through half of the first chapter, I was all but hooked. The story not only focuses on three almost non-existent characters from the Original LBT, but fleshes them out, makes them each their own individual dinosaur and then makes them clash with everyone they come into contact with. Even going so far as to insult and outright threaten both the children AND the valley elders!
All in all, this story is well written, well thought out, and kept in synch with the characters emotions and feelings. Well deserving of the rating, and more so worthy of reading!
Name of fanfic: Self Control
Rating: 9.5/10
Review:
Another grand story by FlipperBoldSkua. Focusing on Ozzy, Strut and Ozzy's mate. To see such a heart warming story in the beginning turn into a gut wrenching story of personal betrayal is truly touching. The plot was superb and I am rather shocked to see that Ozzy had absolutely no self control, even when it came to his own hatchlings!
Overall a wonderful story with a sad ending, but this also explains how and perhaps why he acted the way he did in the second movie (As stated in the Author's comments) I look forward to more stories from this particular author and enjoy reading these stories.
Name of fanfic: The Past that Yawns Behind
Rating: 9/10
Review: Very nice story that kept me reading from start to finish. It had me guessing, rethinking, and kept me at the edge of my seat at all times, entrigued at what would happen next. One thing that suprised me was how modest Pterano was in the story, and how he would do anything to save Petrie, even those rough tests from Brightneck. Speaking of that, it was very exciting how he always kept me thinking of just who the boss would be and why he would be doing that to Pterano. Plot flows nicely from start to finish, few grammer and spelling mistakes, and a great idea to go with it. I give this story a solid 9 on 10. Great job on creating such a great story Pterano. I look forward to more of your works in the future. ;)
Caustizer's Far Away Home -
Rating: 9.5/10
Comments: This story combines a deep plot with the same characters we all know and love. Not to mention there are very few if any errors that snap the illusion and the scenery descriptions are absolutely dazzling. While he keeps everyone in character, he is not afraid to experiment and push the bounds. Unfortunately, the pacing sometimes suffers in the form of it being too slow but those moments are rare.
FlipperBoidSkua's Guilty Until Proven Innocent
10/10
Comments: This story focuses on three background characters with little to no screentime and turns them into full fledged protagonists. The pacing is good, the interactions lively. All in all, a great piece of work.
I've got three mores reviews for today, for some of FlipperBoidSkua's work. I actually already read these three fictions beforehand. I guess for some reason, these three really caught my eye. I didn't even know they were from the same member. :DD
Name of fanfiction: One Time Thing
Rating: 8/10
Review: I found this story very interesting. A story from one of the villains point of view, showing his time of humility in begging his enemies for help. A good story that showed an interesting side to three characters who never had much of a personality in the TV series. Your writing is good, with a lot of nice descriptions and explanations of what is going on. You do a good job at showing how rare an occurrence this is, though. You show how apprehensive both parties are, and how both sides are taking big risks in going along with the other. I can't really notice any grammar issues with this one. Overall, this is a good short story to read to get a little different feel for Redclaw and his Crones...but just a little. I'm giving this a 8, because, while I do like this story, there's others I love much better.
Name of fanfiction: Guilty Until Proven Innocent
Rating: 9/10
Review: I really like this story. It's almost disgusting in a way, how a group of omnivores who apparently never ate meat before got on the habit to stay alive, then couldn't stop. I liked how it is putting my favorite character through a very trying situation. He's always trying to prove that he's good, but often times, others do not believe him. The writing itself is pretty good. Your doing a good job of building suspense, what with slowly getting Chomper further and further into trouble, making me wonder if the Great Valley will take action soon. I can't really see any grammer problems or anything yet. I guess the only real reason I'm giving it a 9 is because it's still incomplete, and there's a variety of directions this very interesting tale can take, for better or for worse. I see you haven't added to this incomplete story in quite a while, but I encourage you to get back on it! I really like it, and I see several other members have enjoyed it as well. This is a great read if your a Chomper fan! I like this story the most so far out of the three I've read from you, FlipperBoidSkua.
Name of fanfiction: Betting Game
Rating: 8/10
Review: A very short, dark, interesting tale on the origins of Redclaw and the Gang. I really like the air of cruelty this story has. How the fastbiter trio turns into a duo, and is basically forced to join the very sharptooth that killed their sister. It has an almost godfather type feel to it actually. This is one of your more darker stories I think. Even darker than Guilty Until Proven Innocent in a way. It was interesting reading about a hunt from a sharptooth's point of view as well. like with your other writing, your mostly good with squashing grammar errors. for me anyway, if a work only has a few errors, I tend to gloss over them without even noticing. So if I can't remember anything bad, that' a pretty good thing :). Overall, this was another interesting sharptooth-oriented story(Which looks like your forte.) that I liked as well. This get's an 8, as again, while I liked this story, there's others I loved better which I believe deserve better scores.
Name of fanfiction: The Mystery of the Blackweeds
Rating: 9/10
Review:
OK, so it's been awhile since I've done this, but it's good to be back. So this review will deal with Allicloud's story, "The Mystery of the Blackweeds." I struggled with whether to give it an 8 or a 9, but ultimately chose 9, and here's why. First off, the story is very engaging, and though it is far from finished, it keeps me guessing every chapter how it is going to turn out. The pacing is good, and kept me reading from the start. The Blackweed Brotherhood are very well written, and credit goes to the author for coming up with four separate characters for this group, each very different and unique. I also love the ambiguity that Allicloud uses. He leaves it unclear if Ducky is telling the truth about Celya or not when she's shown around the Great Valley. Is Celya really disinterested, and is Rheddo the same? If that's the case, why is Redback the only one that expressed any genuine interest in the place? Or... conversely, is Ducky not being completely truthful (oh the horror!) because she's not at ease with the Bortherhood? I like how that was written, and left the reader to come up with their own interpretation. There are a few touching scenes too that Allicloud writes well, and any emotional scene that can move me is well written in my book.
Now there are a few things that the author could do to improve his work (and probably garner a 10 instead of a 9). I did notice some capitalization inconsistencies in the first couple of chapters, such as Longnecks and Threehorns being capitalized, but swimmers not. Thundering falls would be another example as well. If it's a proper noun, the whole name should begin with capitalization, so it would be Thundering Falls. There are a few big run on sentences in the first few chapters as well, and commas just don't cut it for breaking them up. They could really benefit from periods or semicolons. There's also a misspelled word here and there (as well as some words that are left out), but overall the spelling isn't too bad. I also noticed some repetition in the early chapters too, such as using the same word like "ridge" three times in the same paragraph. To read "ridge, ridge, ridge" over and over can make for some choppy reading. A thesaurus is useful for avoiding repetition, and the author could easily substitute a word like "hill" or "furrow" or whatever, just so that the reader doesn't have to read the same thing multiple times.
On the positive side however, most of these issues have been cleared up by the later chapters. The author shows signs of improving as he goes along, and because he doesn't tend to repeat his mistakes, that's why I gave this a 9 instead of an 8. One thing I WOULD like to see more of however is the use of descriptive passages. It's difficult to write this way, but it really engrosses the reader and makes a good plot even better. Use of comparisons, similes and metaphors really helps with this, as it sort of paints a picture for the reader in the reader's mind, rather than just outright stating what happens.
Overall though, this is a very good story; it has improved as it's gone on, and with a bit more detail and description (such as for surroundings, and especially for emotional reactions), this story would probably be a 10. I'm giving it a 9 out of 10, and I have to say here, very well done. Looking forward to reading more.
Epicly long review incoming!
Name of fanfiction: Quest for the Energy Stones
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: Before I started on this story, I was worried that you were going to be shoving Bionicle info down my throat the whole time. I was also worried that this story would be mostly focused on the Matorans, and that the LBT characters would play little real role in the story.
Fortunately, that didn't happen. The story started out slow, but I kind of liked that. I loved the long buildup to the main conflict, because I really enjoy first encounters. You know, two different groups of characters meeting for the first time, having to learn to live together, dealing with their differences, trying to get along; all of that kind of stuff. This story had a very mythical/mysterious/fantastical feel to it. Nearing the end of the story, I actually almost teared up a little bit. You just wrote a very good story, making me interested in the characters, so that I actually felt it when we had to say goodbye to all of them.
I liked how you incorporated a huge variety of LBT characters in this fiction. Having the Matorans meet the adults for a more diplomatic discussion was great. Also, bringing back a few one-off characters during the actual quest, such as Pterano, Ruby's family and Ali. The sub-plot you made around ruby's family was nice, as it came at a time when I was starting to get a little bored. It was a very exciting section that really rekindled my interest in the story. Well timed, I must say.
It was good that you mostly focused on the main Gang of Seven overall. I got what you said at the end of this story, about how this was their heroic quest, and how the Matoran's just helped them along the way. I might argue that Takua did a little more than that, but whatever. I LOVED all the conflict Cera created. That's what makes her such a great character. Like I've said multiple times, she's a good characters because she always makes the story more interesting, providing comic relief and also conflict hwere there isn't enough, and that's just what you used her for. I though Petrie learning tree-speak was quite funny (OH GOD NO!!! NOW HE TALKS WORSER!!!). You also handled Chomper well.
As for the Bionicle universe, I knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it when I first began this story. Coming into this story, I had to have my hand held for me for awhile, but you did a fine job of that. You slowly revealed about the Matoran's culture, lifestyle, mythos, ect. You really explained the Bionicle universe well I think, but you also didn't focus on it too much. I never felt like you were trying to shove it down my face.
I think you handled the Bionicle characters well, especially Takua. You displayed their personalities through their speech and through their actions. You showed how all of the Matoran characters are unique from each other, with a wide variety of personalities. You found many places through this long tale to fit these characters into, bringing them in to help Takua and the Gang on their quest. This also gave them an opportunity to shine. I didn't know that the Bionicle fiction had so many great characters. You made these characters very likable through all of this, making me want to learn more about the Bionicle universe. VERY good job on that, as I think that was one main goal of this work. (Right?)
(This paragraph is spoiling a part of the story) For the most part, I loved the story, but one BIG disappointment I had with the story was in retrieving the 5th energy stone. For this one, the Gang returned to the Island from the 5th movie. This got me really excited, due to how big a Chomper fan I am, but I was really disappointed with how this section of the story turned out. I was hoping to meet Chomper's parents again, but that didn't happen. It would have been okay if you explained why his parents weren't there anymore, but you didn't even do that! You did what the writers did for the TV series; leaving a big gaping hole in the plot, never explaining it. There was not even any real conversation or mention of Chomper's parents. Some comment from Takua, and then a reply from Chomper even would have added a lot.
The grammar wasn't THAT bad. I found a few mistakes here and there, but most of the time, nothing really jumped out at me. What I DID have a problem with though was with the writing style. I don't know if your just borrowing this style from the Bionicle books, but I just didn't like it. If I could describe it, I would just say that it's too wordy. a lot of your sentences run on for two long. You often state the same idea multiple times. I just find it makes it harder to read. It confused me sometimes, to the point where I had to reread a sentence to get the message. I would much rather prefer shorter, better worded sentences that got the same message across. I think that would be much easier and more fun to follow.
I know what I said in a review for another writer's fiction, but I liked these shorter chapters in this case. I think it was because even though they were short, they didn't seem rushed.
Overall, I really liked the story. Other than that awful bit, it was great. The weak part is the writing in my eyes. It's not really a problem with grammar or punctuation (Though there is room for improvement on that front) It was just the style you wrote the story in. Like I said earlier, I just didn't like it. I Debated all through my read-through of this story whether to give it a 7 or an 8. I finally settled on a 7.5. There are a lot of improvements you could make. Even then though, you have a good story, and that makes up for MOST of your other shortfalls. If someone at least has a good story, I'll be fair and give them at least a decent score. I'd recommend this story to any Bionicle or LBT fans, as it is a very interesting and fun read.
All votes up to here are now tallied and the total score will be updated in the tally topic.
Name of fanfiction: Twilight Valley
Rating: 9/10
Review: This is a well written and well thought out story that tells the story of the Great Valley dinosaurs during a time of great crisis. An evil sharptooth named Excidium looks to conquer the Great Valley with an army of other sharpteeth, fast-biters, meat eating flyers, and a good collection of past LBT villians who have a thing against the gang.
Twilight Valley is detailed and vivid, with lots of effort put into descriptions of minor details and the harsh realities of warfare that many of us cannot relate to very well. The OCs that Serris has created have recognizable personalities and mannerisms that set them apart from the characters we know which makes the story all the more interesting, even though it can be unclear at times exactly what species they are (I still don't know if Mr. Bigmouth is a Crocidile like Dill or a Swimmer like Ducky's mom, but I'm sure I'll find out eventually).
A solid 9/10 is well deserved here. The main reason why it did not get a 10/10 is because, with the exception of some plot driven chapters, the story mostly feels like each installment follows the same general routine of battles, discussions and councils, and finally the 'tech time' with Bigmouth without any key plot points resolving themselves quickly. :confused
Perhaps progess will come with time, but it's strange that after 24 chapters the Great Valley dinosaurs are still in almost the same position they were in after the big defeat in Chapter 13.
Overall Twilight Valley is definately worth a read, especially if your not too sensitive to dark things such as blood and war in the Land Before Time. :angel
Name of fanfiction: Land Before Time: Far Away Home
Rating: 9/10
Review: It took me a while to reread this story to refresh my memory, but now I can say with certainty how great it is.
There are a number of details that I liked about this fanfic. First, is how the earliest chapters seem to tie in with the previous story the author wrote. (Yes, I do remember that Far Away Home is in fact a sequel to another fanfic.) Second, is how for almost the entire story the gang is split into two groups (Cera, Ruby, and Chomper are separated from the rest), something rarely seen in other LBT fanfics (at least on such a long time frame). And third, is that as the story progressed, the gang slightly start to grow up, as if to demonstrate what a long adventure they're all on.
Other things that can be appreciated include the level of detail to provide the reader with excellent character descriptions and what the surrounding environment is like at the time. Also, let's not forget how well the author did with turning Sky's wingtail characters from just a few pictures into an interesting species with their own society. I also can't forget to mention all the fanart by Sky that was inspired by this story.
I'll be honest, it takes a lot to get a full 10/10 from me. This story was great, but not quite perfect, so that's why I'm giving a 9/10.
Name of fanfiction: Far Away Home
Rating: 9/10
Review: This unique story, two years in the making, is one of the most imaginative and gripping LBT fanfics I have ever read. It is at times a rather dark story, with some elements that the LBT purist might consider out-of-placeóan empire of sharpteeth built on coercing leafeater communities into providing them with food via periodical “sacrifices”, and technology such as optical lenses and sound-amplifying horns sculpted from volcanic glassóbut if these sorts of things don’t terribly bother you, then you will probably enjoy this fanfiction. :yes
The author’s creativity is astounding; he has devised, from scratch, entire communities of characters with their own customs, politics, and histories, the crowning example being the wingtails, an invented species of flying, birdlike dinosaurs (property of the equally talented LBT fanartist, Sky), whose blood feud with an exceptionally crafty and organized league of sharpteeth drives the plot forward.
Far Away Home bears an extensive cast of characters, many of them original, with a diverse range of impressively distinctive personalities. Some of the most interesting are the antagonists. The author has created some of the darkest and most chillingly effective villains ever seen in a LBT story, yet they fall (and at times travel) across a spectrum of morality and antagonism, with the result that you can’t always be certain who is “good” and who is “bad”, which makes the story all the more interesting. There are antiheroes who are inimical to some protagonists but benevolent to others. “Good guys” occasionally do terrible things (yet circumstances dictate that such actions are usually not excessively out-of-character for them). Even the cruelest and most irredeemable villains have motives and backstories that justify why they are the way they are.
The plot of Far Away Home is very complex, and it is sometimes difficult to comprehend where the interconnecting backstories of the various characters fit on the pre-story-timeline. When flashbacks are used (technically the entire story is a flashback, told by the grown-up gang to their children, but I digress), it is sometimes unclear that the events being relived take place beforehand, and are not part of the present storyline. These are relatively minor distractions, however, and the richness and unpredictability of the plot more than makes up for it, in my opinion.
I had a hard time deciding whether to rate this fanfic a 9 or a 10. Since I didn’t want to use a fractionalized number like 9.5 (in my humble opinion, that sort of thing defeats the purpose of the 1-to-10 rating system), I ultimately went with 9. Honestly, I’m not even sure how I would determine what’s worthy of a 10-point rating (it doesn’t help that I’m such a nitpicker :oops).
Name of fanfiction: Always the Same Son
Rating: 8/10
Review: This review's gonna be done a little differently than the one for the first story. When I first heard you were going to write a sequel to Lost in a Forest, I was worried that it wouldn't be as good. It turns out that it was...hmm...how do I put this?
Here's my first impressions. The VERY beginning of the story got me excited, because it made me think that Pterano would be dealing with his past more (Kind of like with Pterano's fic). The next few chapters were just...boring to me. I wasn't really that interested in Haylie to be honest. When the two threehorn's were introduced, that was when it started to get more exciting for me. That was when the action started to heat up, and I loved that. For pretty much the rest of the story, I was really enjoying it, even though I wasn't showing it as much.
Now that that's out of the way, I'll talk about the writing. The writing started out bad. It still felt like you were rushing these chapters out, like you did for the first story. Near the end of the story though, you really improved in this regard. You slowed down your pace of writing by a LOT, and that really helped a ton in my eyes. Not only were your latter chapters better grammatically, but they were just plain better written. The dialogue was more involved, the characters interacted more dynamically. You managed to get some humor in here and there (Your first story had a little bit of humor, but not this much.) You get higher marks for your writing. Not too high, though, because the first half of this story was still written poorly.
The story itself...just didn't feel as good to me. It was very different than in your first story. this story felt a lot shorter than your first one, even though in length it was about the same. It didn't feel like as much happened in this one. I think that was because about two thirds of this story took place on the same day and night. I really liked the first story more. It was just grander and more epic. It took place over a longer period of time. I liked how the Gang itself was a part of the first story. In this one, I think the only one ever around was Petrie. The rest of the Gang was mentioned in one chapter (I think) and then were completely forgotten. I REALLY liked the threehorn characters you introduced though. You seemed to draw a parallel between them and Pterano in a way. They both did something they regretted, but they both finally took responsibility for their actions. When Pterano told them something along the lines of "You won't have to leave the Valley, but you will have to tell everyone!", that was the moment that really struck me. That was one really well done part of this story. Overall, the story wasn't as good as the first one I thought, but it had certain bits that just struck me. Really a mixed bad, I must say.
Humor is one thing I take seriously, and your humor in this story was definitely better. It seems like you snuck in a couple of Jittery quotes somehow (Oh you!) aside from that, some of the situations in this story were hilarious. From Topsy basically being forced to apologize, to Pterano getting a face full of sand and saying "My Fishy!", to him almost being squashed to death comically. I personally believe that the BEST stories are ones that can make you both laugh and cry. Hmm, I didn't really cry any in this story, (That's not saying much though. I rarely cry.) BUT I did laugh!
Overall, I think I'll just give this story the same score I gave your first one. This story was very different from your first one. There were numerous things I thought you did worse, but also numerous things I thought you did better. This story is still a pretty good read, just expect something very different from Lost in a Forest. If you come into this with an open mind, you'll enjoy and appreciate the good aspects of it.\
I"m PRETTY sure that the ending is leaving it open for a third part, so I'll look forward to it. From seeing how this one turned out, I really have no idea what the third part will be like! I'm looking forward to it...if it's coming.
Name of fanfiction: The Adventures of Littlefoot and Ali
Rating: 7/10
Review: Ever since Rhett was first introduced in the TV series, I knew that it would have been only a matter of time until someone would write a fanfic based around a love triangle of Littlefoot, Ali, and Rhett. I have to say, this story does a relatively good job of making such a scenario believable. I like how it didn't start off right away, but rather it was not until chapters 8, 9, and 10 that the love triangle (and the issues it would cause) was confirmed for the main characters. Let's also not forget all of the one-off characters that make an appearance in this story, even if only for just one more one-off appearance.
The reason I'm rating this a 7 instead of an 8 has to do with where I think this story is headed. If I remember correctly, the author mentioned that the ending would be rather shocking. However, I've had a feeling, right from the start, that I know what will happen (don't worry, I won't tell anyone :angel ). It's that sense of predictability that I'm getting from this story that explains my rating. (If my predictions turn out to be wrong, I'll be sure to let you know.)
Name of fanfiction: The Mystery of the Blackweeds
Rating: 9.5/10
Review:I've been enjoying this story since the beginning of it. As you can see from my comments in the thread as you've been writing this, this story is keeping me guessing as to what is going to happen next. At first, I was very cautious of this brotherhood, then I warmed up to them a lot, then was shocked at what some of them are now doing. You've done a fantastic job of suckering me in, just like Littlefoot was suckered in. Actually, I've noticed that I've felt a lot like Littlefoot has felt while reading this story. Don't know if that's a coincidence or not, but it's interesting.
I like violence if it's used effectively. In this case, it is. It works because there is such emotion and buildup behind it. There's a meaningful reason for it. It's not just added in cheaply. This has really just came up with the latest chapter, but it's showing how everything is suddenly going downhill. It FEELS like this story is in it's climax at the moment.
The characters you've created for this story have been very interesting so far. You've done a great job at showing all of their personalities through their varied speech, they're body language, and their actions. The strange blackweeds are a nice touch that really completes this group. They have an air of mystery to them. They can be a little terrifying , but they're also strangely inviting. VERY complex characters. I really like Redback and Tero in particular.
About the only miner gripe I have is there are a few spelling errors and other grammatical errors here and there. It's really not that bad though, and in the later chapters it gets better.
I'm giving this story a 9.5, as this is the closest of any fanfiction I've read on here has come to matching The Past that Yawns Behind. You've got a hooked reader right now, and I'm heartbroken that there won't be another chapter for at least a couple weeks. I'd recommend almost anyone to give this story a read, as it's just so engaging and well written.
Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Rating: 7/10
Review:
A two-season TV series about LBT. What can be better than that? Anyways, this story was one that I ingored at first glance because I thought it wouldn't draw my attention that well, but once I got down into it the story, it was very exciting! I liked how you made the stretch and added a human into the series and just kept going with it. That honestly impressed me about how you did that. You made it believable too, a good quality to have in a story.
The thing that got me though, was the grammer. Honestly, in the first season, it didn't do so well, but, as you got further along, it gradually got better and better, making it easier on the eyes. Another thing was the format. I hate script format. I really do. Story format for me is a must, but, this story is a bit of an exception. You didn't really make it too much like a simple, plain script, you made it into something much more than that, so, kudos to you.
As mentioned by Caustizer up there somewhere, I kind of consider this as the second season of LBT that never was, and I honestly think that this might actually be able to happen if someone tried hard enough. And so, I give this story a 7 on 10. Great work, von.
Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Rating: 7/10
Review: I have to say that this is quite an interesting story so far. First of all, there is a slight change in the cast: Grandpa Longneck passed away, Bron and Shorty (and later Ali) become permanent residents, and Chomper has a new personality (slightly matured, according to the author). Let's also not forget the big difference from the official TV series: the presence of a human character we know only as Professor. One detail that I like is that Professor can't understand the dinosaur language (something most authors tend to overlook for convenience), and needs a special communicator to be able to speak with them (as humorously highlighted in one episode :lol ). I'm also interested in the author's interpretation of the Rainbowfaces, and I eagerly await to see what happens in that three-parter episode at the end of season two.
Of course, the script format used for this story is harder to follow than a typical story format, since we don't get much descriptions and almost never know what anyone is thinking. As an example, the only things I know about what Professor looks like is that he's a human with some device on his wrist, and that's it. Not once have I seen a specific description like his age or what clothes he wears. Still, this is intended to be like a TV series, so I guess such a format is to be expected. Of course, there's the occasional grammar issue, but the author certainly seems to be making a good effort of improving.
This is my last review for the fanfiction awards. I hope we can all do this again next year! :yes
Name of fanfiction: Total Drama Valley
Rating: 8/10
Review:Soory that this review is a little on the short side, but I don't really know what I can say about this one that I haven't said about the unfinished season 2. It was just as funny and exciting as the second season. Even though I did have some things spoiled for me from reading these out of order (some BIG things, mind you), I still found a lot of surprises in this season, and It was interesting to see how it played out already knowing what would ultimately happen in the end.
I was kind of thinking that this one wouldn't be as interesting, as it was taking place in and around the Great Valley, and not in the future, but it's actually really good. You managed to think of good challenges that used the past to it's full potential, so bravo on that.
One thing I'll bring up about ALL of your fanfiction, Brekclub, is it just freaks the bagibus out of me out sometimes. Not in a bad way, mind you, but your fictions just have a really interesting mix of childishness, innocence, creepiness, dark humor, slapstick, and gore. It's a...really strange mix I must say. For example, in one episode of Total Drama Valley, Rita (Chomper's girlfriend) Kills several dinosaurs and arranges them in a heart shape so Chomper will see it when they fly overhead on a flyer. I was really freaked out by that, and Chomper kinda was too :lol.
Anyway, this fiction is full of love, romance, life-or-death situations, dares, trickery, back-stabbing, excitement, and all of that jazz. I'd again recommend it for anyone that likes the actual Total Drama series. I'm giving it another 8, and it's about as good as the second season is so far. It's nice to see that this little series has been at the same fairly high quality from the start, unlike Sharptooth Valley.
Name of fanfiction: Quest for the Energy Stones
Rating: 8/10
Review: I’ll admit that I haven’t read a great deal of LBT crossover fanfics, but I can confidently state that I can recall none as original or well-executed as this one. The author does a remarkable job of merging the LBT and Bionicle universes. The awkwardness one might expect from combining two such dissimilar series is astoundingly minimal. It is a story that one can read without any prior knowledge of the Bionicle series, and still enjoy and follow with relative ease. Everything the reader needs to know about Bionicleófrom the different races of Matoran, to their masks, to the history of their worldóis outlined in-story as the gang themselves become familiarized with these strange biomechanical newcomers.
The story is peppered with wit and humor; easily one of the things I enjoyed the most while reading it. The story in general is well-written, even with the author’s occasional tendency to use the same word or phrase repeatedly in the same sentence or paragraph. Action-filled scenes are described in thorough detail, such that they are not only exciting to read, but easy for the reader to visualize.
The author sometimes has difficulty giving sufficient attention and a visible enough role to every member of the gang, what with the large number of characters (often at least ten) that tend to be present at any one time. And while the author’s portrayal of the LBT characters feels accurate for the most part, some of them occasionally do things that seem a little far-fetched for them, such as Cera attempting to use a Matoran lava surfboard to escape from a dangerous situation without any assistance or prior instruction, and Ruby developing a crush on one of the Matoran.
Though the plot is interesting and generally enjoyable, the fact that the gang must embark on a new expedition each day to find each of the seven Energy Stones means that their adventures begin to feel somewhat formulaic as the story goes on. Each day’s events tend to follow the pattern of the gang first visiting one of the Matoran cities and recruiting two of its inhabitants to assist them, then embarking on a journey to the presumed location of the Energy Stone in question, menaced by Red Claw’s pack along the way, with each of their Matoran guests receiving the chance to help out in a manner demonstrating their strengths. However, the author tries his best to reduce predictability and keep the story fresh and interesting by making each adventure a little different in whatever ways he can.
Name of fanfiction: Journey to a New World
Rating: 5/10
Review: Well this story had a good plot, and had some elements of comedy that interlace with the seriousness, though it tends to have a lot of problems as well. The writing will switch from first person to third person, and a story should never do this. It should be told strictly in one voice. Keeping it completely first person would have been better, at least in my opinion. Capitalization tends to be all over the place and proper nouns such as names should always be capitalized. In other words, Jay should never be written as jay. Things tend to just jump around without transitions of any kind, and it just feels like bam, bam, bam, stuff happens. It really makes the pacing fly, and seem far too rapid.
Emotions, while written well in terms of action, suffered from a lack of description. This story itself could have been a lot stronger with better descriptive passages, consistent (and correct) punctuation, sticking with one solid voice throughout, and a better attention to pacing. It gets a 5/10 from me, as the story concept itself was good, and I think the author(s) had a good thing going, just needed to convey it better.
Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Rating: 6/10
Review: This ongoing series of short stories, written in script format, is an attempt at a continuation of the LBT TV show. It differs mainly from the official series in that it features a human character known as “the Professor”, who travels from an as-yet unspecified point of time to live in the Great Valley. Unfortunately, as much as I would like to give a glowing review to every fanfiction I evaluate, I’m afraid I just didn’t enjoy this one that much. :oops
The fact that the story is written to resemble a TV series screenplay (complete with spaces for commercial breaks and the installments referred to as “episodes” instead of “chapters”) didn’t inherently bother me. However, I did have a problem with the limited amount of detail and descriptiveness in the non-dialogue text. For example, almost no information is given as to what the Professor looks like, and any descriptions of the characters’ surroundings in a scene are restricted to a brief mention of the general location and time of day. The writing style would probably work just fine for a television script, but it is less entertaining to read as a fanfiction.
In the first season in particular, there are numerous spelling and grammar errors throughout the chapters, and though I did my best to overlook them, I could do nothing about the fact that the dialogue is often awkward. I felt that too much of the characters’ thought processes were expressed through their lines; characters often say things that come off as overly obvious statements, and some lines just sound unrealistic (e.g., Mr. Threehorn saying "They sure are loud and annoying!" in reference to the gang playing, as if this is something new to him, even though he has surely watched them play hundreds of times). There were also many conversations that seemed to go on for very long, but did little to progress the story or provide exposition.
Sometimes it feels like the author is trying too hard to create conflict in the story, often at the expense of logic on the part of both the plot and the characters. The gang, the Professor, and even the gang’s parents regularly do things that seem overly foolish or defy common sense, such as the Professor setting off fireworks in an area full of flammable vegetation in Episode 9, and the gang trying to reach a beehive hanging over a tar pit in Episode 10. Then there are the instances when the author seems to just cop out on providing a reason for the events of the episode, such as in Episode 8 (in which the yellow bellies make a reappearance), where it is never explained how or why Loofah and Doofah ended up so far from their herd (and why their herd left Berry Valley in the first place), the matter being handwaved even when the gang themselves bring it up.
The author did have some interesting and original ideas, such as Saurus Rock being a site of spiritual significance to longnecks, with one chapter focusing on Littlefoot’s family taking him to the rock so that he can commune with his deceased grandfather. And I did like Episode 16’s concept of Ducky reflecting on her role in the gang, feeling weak and underappreciated, and wanting to do something about it (though the course of action she ended up taking felt completely out of character to me). Unfortunately, the chapters are often very short, and ideas that could conceivably be expanded into rich and interesting storylines are not utilized to their full potential. Oftentimes scenes change (and entire episodes end) abruptly, blocking off prospective plot paths before they can be explored, or just breaking the flow of the story.
This isn’t to say that PAST-O-RAMA is a bad fanfic; as of Episode 12, there has been a marked improvement in the quality of the storylines, and the author does seem to be improving with spelling and grammar. And he manages to succeed in amusing the reader even in the early, rushed episodes (One moment I enjoyed was in Episode 4, after Cera crashes into the side of a cliff while being carried by a carnivorous flyer; the Professor asks her, “did you hurt the cliff?” Cue Cera attempting to charge the Professor :lol).
Overall, I found this story original enough to rate it as above average, but it just fell too far short in its execution for me to consider it “great”. I know I’m a very picky reader, and I hope I wasn’t too harsh here. :unsure:
Name of fanfiction: Guilty Until Proven Innocent
Rating: 9/10
Review: I can’t say that I’ve ever seen another LBT fanfiction like this. The author has taken three characters from the original LBT, who collectively received only a few seconds of screentime and have seldomóif everóbeen so much as mentioned in any other LBT fanfiction; devised names and personalities for them, plus an explanation of how they came to be the way they are; and given them a story of their own. More than that, she’s made them into truly capable villains; cunning, nefarious, and demonstratively dangerous, motivated by both hunger and hatred.
The story is excellently written, with many twists and turns that will likely surprise readers. Characterization is good, although I couldn’t help but feel that Grandpa Longneck (even considering his forgiving nature) was overly tolerant of the domeheads’ offensive attitude towards him and the other valley residents. And while darker than any official LBT installment, the fanfiction contains no elements I can identify that would be out of place in a canon LBT story. So for those readers who prefer “pure” LBT stories, this is a fanfic that you can enjoy (provided you don’t mind a few OC deaths).
I’ll admit that I was a tiny bit disappointed that we didn’t get to see the main characters’ one canon run-in with the gang from their perspective (though I’ve been assured that it will be referenced later on in the story). It’s a very trivial qualm, however, with little to no effect on my rating. I very much hope that the author will continueóand eventually completeówork on this fanfiction. :yes
Name of fan fiction: The Past That Yawns Behind
Rating: 9/10
Review: I quickly discovered that I could discuss this story for an extremely long period, but for the sake of a reasonable length, I will, for once, show some restraint, heh heh heh.
This is a story of Pterano’s return and is focused on him and how he adapts to life in the Great Valley after his banishment comes to an end. Unfortunately, any possible adaptation is quickly cut short by a false accusation towards him. While he was welcomed back at first, seemingly forgiven, how quickly they turned on him shows the lack of sincerity. Everyone was kept canon. Cera’s father was accusatory, and Littlefoot’s grandfather was logical, during the meetings to get to the bottom of things. To keep the conflict lasting, the author caged the protagonist in a prison of right and wrong, both sides having a tempting allure. To do right meant he must suffer but his loved one would be alright, and to do wrong, meant ill for another while his own misery would reach its end. The protagonist is constantly haunted by a dreary past that he tried to forget that current events keep bringing up, so he is subjected to torture both new and old before the conclusion.
The author introduces side characters, both canon and original, who all play a role in progressing the engaging storyline. While some can be taken at face value, and others have more than meets the eye, he adds even more variety by using a canon character who has more to offer as time goes on, doing things for the wrong reasons at first, but becoming wholesome in the end. This particular character was unique because he acted as a friendly nemesis, not really bad at all anymore, though hiding the good behind a mask of indifference. Examples of such characters are Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z, Tokiya from Flame of Recca, and Ren from Shaman King. These characters are like M&M’s, as they’re true content is hidden inside a voluntary shell, and the author worked this into his story brilliantly.
This story was not a single road to walk, as it can be boring to watch the exact same characters perform in a straight line from beginning to end with no change of focus. He divided the characters into groups, though these groups shifted as well for even more variety through new combinations, and so the scenes could have a unique approach. Furthermore, no group was created as a filler. Each scene played a role in progressing the plot to its end. Even the side romance which was added to keep this story feeling fresh played a significant part in justice being done. The author did not leave room for unimportance. Everyone does their part to help out with the dilemma, and this provides a much more satisfactory ending than if the main character had done everyone important alone.
The detail is magnificent, allowing for constant visuals even to those with weak imaginations. The dialogue was realistic, canon, witty, and interesting all at once, allowing for long conversations to be easily enjoyed. He added character development not only throughout the story but also before the story itself which was explained during the story. The plot contained a mystery for most of the chapters, but the author allowed for reader interaction by letting the conclusion be revealed for those perceptive enough. Some clues stood alone to help readers out, but interestingly enough, some clues did not mean anything until much later, meaning that the author interwove his information with long threads. The author creates numerous surprises, some more shocking than others, and the plot keeps people guessing with its unexpected turns. Full of emotion, readers can connect with the story through their hearts, not just analyze it with their minds.
Readers feel sympathy for Pterano, admiration for Littlefoot’s kindness, wisdom, and acceptance, fear for Petrie’s life, anger at Mr. Threehorn, happiness at the love between several characters, hatred of the villain, followed by doubt of that hatred, and much more. The story was simply engrossing. Even explanations and bridges between parts were not boring. The author found a way to thrill from beginning to end. The ending was beautiful, as it left readers with the sheer joy of the change that took place. Pterano ended up becoming exactly like Littlefoot was when he tossed that food down for Cera long ago and said nothing about himself in the process. Yet, while the ending was a closing, it left something open as well. The intentions of the villain are now unclear, so readers have to, in a sense, end the story themselves with what their heart deems is best.
Now then, despite being a masterpiece, this fan fiction is not quite perfect. There are some grammar issues, mostly in the quotations from using periods were commas should be and occasionally in other areas, such as using a comma before a coordinating conjunction when the part after the conjunction is a dependant clause. One section of the story brought a sense of mystery, but it was never explained, leaving readers guessing with no clues. When fastbiters invade the Great Valley, Chomper mentions hearing them say it was part of some plan. However, not only is it never explained how the villain was able to communicate with them, being a leaf-eater, and the story never says if any of his henchmen can communicate with them either, but it only adds to the confusion how the villain worked this out with them yet not allowing for his own safety, as he attacked some and could have been killed. When a villain devises a plot, it is unusual when he could die from it, especially with one so determined as the antagonist in this story. Lastly, readers never actually get to learn what the plan actually is. All that can be assumed is that they were asked to come in and attack on sight.
This was masterfully done, and is a good read for LBT fans and non LBT fans alike. The author shows us a world, shows us characters in this world, then throws them into a situation that just grows darker and darker. Though it ends with light, it leaves a gray area for readers to enjoy their own theory, meaning the author generously gave readers some control here as well. Everyone is likable or dislikable, meaning that each character was portrayed with unique characteristics that really showed. This was a puzzle with no extra pieces; nothing was pointless. Tiny details could be fixed, but none of them detract from the epic experience one has when he or she picks up The Past That Yawns Behind.
Name of fanfiction: Battle of the Sacred Essences 2: Corruption’s Curse
Rating: 9/10
Review: This style of fanfiction is normally one that I don’t care for, so it says a lot about the skills of the author that I like it so much. His writing style is rich, eloquent, and vividly detailed, its one drawback being the amount of time it takes to get to the next point in the story (The chapters are so enjoyable, however, that one barely notices their length; only the time until the next one is posted :p). Action scenes (of which there are many) are tense and exciting. The author’s portrayal of the LBT characters is dead-on, and he does an outstanding job of making sure every member of the gang (even Spike) gets their fair share of attention in the narrative, so that they all get a chance to contribute to the story, and maintain a constant, visible presence in it.
I’ll admit that I still prefer LBT fanfictions where the dinosaur characters take center stage (seeing the Black Ghost effortlessly one-up attacking dinosaurs gets old for me fast), but that’s just me. :p On another note, some of the references to the original movie in chapters 22–27 (in which the gang re-tread the same path they took when they first traveled to the Great Valley) felt a little forced to me (although I loved the scenes showing how Cera has grown since that first adventure). And is it a bad thing that I think I already have a good idea of who the Black Ghost is? :oops
This fanfiction hasn’t been updated in a while, and I hope the author is able to continue it. I am under the impression that the ending is still a long way off, and it would be a shame for this fantastic story to be left hanging where it is.
Alright, folks. Voting is over this topic will be closed now and results will be announced later.