If this story could be described in one word, that word would be mysterious. In this narrative we are left with numerous mysteries and as one is solved, another one yet opens up. For example, who is this mysterious flyer that Mist feels is following him and bringing doom to others? Is it some untold horror of the skies, or, perhaps, could it be a flyer helping out another predator, one who is unseen? Likewise there is much of Mist's life that is a mystery to us and, perhaps, is also a mystery to him. His past and future, must like his present, seems to be enveloped in a crippling mist that obscures the truth. As such the title of the story is very apt.
I will actually diverge a bit from what I said in my previous review (of the Other Stone of Cold Fire) to say that the shorter chapters here combined with rich description actually does assist this story in creating a mysterious mood. So whereas in The Other Stone of Cold Fire I felt that the shorter chapters were a disadvantage, I actually think they are useful here. Though that being said, in the last chapter where an entire day's journey was described in single paragraphs, I do think a longer elaboration would be useful. Even if such a description of those day's events have little to report, an enhanced description of those long days would add to the pacing of the story and would allow us to feel the same cadence as Mist in the story.
But all that being said, I do like what you have done with this story thus far. It is mysterious, foreboding, and though I have no idea what will happen next, I feel that mystery is part of what makes this story work so well. I will eagerly look forward to the continuation of this story.
