Insane Cafe

The Great Valley Guardian · **Reply #60 on:** December 02, 2007, 12:10:47 AM

Omnivorous finally getting his beer, drank half of it...and stood up then raised his hand, and force pulled Longtial towards him, after gently holding him for a few moments, Omnivorous picked up his beer glass and then submerged Longtail's head into the clod liquid. after several moments and two large glups Longtial came back to his sense, and was rather drunk as well...

"Poor kid, can't hold his liquior." said Ricktor Landon "But at least he stopped biting people!" said Omnivorous with a laugh.

Nick22 · **Reply #61 on:** December 02, 2007, 12:15:50 AM

The three at the Scooby Table looked at Nick, as if he were quite mad.. "Actually the dessert is edible. Its the ONLY thing here that's edible. Most customers don't stick around for the pies of cakes, 'as he said this two ipeds landed face up on the table. One was blueberry, the other raspberry. "Try ityt" He said with a smile.

Manny Cav · **Reply #62 on:** December 02, 2007, 12:22:12 AM

Gustave returned with what was supposed to be Manny's Pepsi.

"Here's your MSG water, masseur."

Manny have Gustave a blank stare. "You put monosodium glutamate in your water?"

"Yes sir, masseur. This is what you ordered."

"I ordered a Pepsi."

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, masseur, I'll bring out your-"

"No, don't," Manny quickly snapped. He wanted to throw Gustave a curve ball.

"Instead, I want diet-caffine-free-cherry-berry-vanilla-Pepsi-Max with no preservatives serves sunny side down with extra mayonnaise and three meat patties cooked well done in liver juice that is aged well in a Saurian laboratory with monkeys running it that have rabies that came from a rabid rabbit biting them on an obscure location on their armpits that haven't been shaved since the land before time."

"Yes, masseur, one diet-caffine-free-cherry-berry-vanilla-Pepsi-Max with no preservatives serves sunny side down with extra mayonnaise and three meat patties cooked well done in liver juice that is aged well in a Saurian laboratory with monkeys running it that have rabies that came from a rabid rabbit biting them on an obscure location on their armpits that haven't been shaved since the land before time comig up!" Gustave said with his usual enthusiasm. He stepped into what had to be regurgitated spam on his way to the kitchen.

Nick22 · **Reply #63 on:** December 02, 2007, 12:28:58 AM

Dixie, Scooby and Shaggy looked at each other. "Fine we'll ry it but if it is horrible, we're leaving, and you won't get a tip.." Dixie said, and the others nodded. Nick cut a slice of blueberrry pie for Dixie a rsperry slice for Scooby, and one of both for Shaggy. The they took a bite of thier pies and aand smiled broke out over thier faces. The Pies truly were exquisite.

AvestheForumFox · **Reply #64 on:** December 02, 2007, 12:38:13 AM

Aves was once again called back to Master Chong's personal office

"Fox, I've been thinking."

"A raise?"

"NO! Now SHUTUP!" snarled Chong

"No, what I've been thinking is that perhaps we need to add more MSG and brown slime to the recipes."

"Come again, sir?" asked Aves with a half shocked expression

"More MSG more BROWN SLIME! You stupid vulpine! The more we feed them, the closer they are to becoming my servants!.. and then, I will cook up that master recipe to raise my Spork Armies, and I shall be reknown as Lord Chong and I shall crush the competition!"

"Uhm... okay." said Aves who was blinking dumbly at Chong.

"Now GO!"

As Aves turned to leave the kitchen, he couldn't help but wonder what Chong was putting into this brown slime

Manny Cav · **Reply #65 on:** December 02, 2007, 11:03:58 AM

Gustave came back with Manny's order, and to his utter astonishment, it was, indeed, diet-caffine-free-cherry-berry-vanilla-Pepsi-Max with no preservatives serves sunny side down with extra mayonnaise and three meat patties cooked well done in liver juice that is aged well in a Saurian laboratory with monkeys running it that have rabies that came from a rabid rabbit biting them on an obscure location on their armpits that haven't been shaved since the land before time.

"Here's your diet-caffine-free-cherry-berry-vanilla-Pepsi-Max with no preservatives serves sunny side down with extra mayonnaise and three meat patties cooked well done in liver juice that is aged well in a Saurian laboratory with monkeys running it that have rabies that came from a rabid rabbit biting them on an obscure location on their armpits that haven't been shaved since the land before time, masseu," Gustave said, matching it word for word.

"Thanks," Manny replied. Since it was served sunny side down, he had to take the entire tray, rotate it with him holding the glasses on it 180 degrees, then throw the tray off. He took his drink, but noticed the other. "Don't tell me. That's my Pepsi."

"Yes, masseur, you ordered this when you first came in." Manny wanted to kill Gustave right now. "What can I get you to eat, masseur?"

Manny knew the quality of the food, so he decided to taske the safe route. "Just an apple pie."

"Eh? Dessert first, masseur? That isn't good for you."

"I'm not too hungry."

"Alright, one cherry pie, coming up!"

While no one was looking, Manny took the three meat patties out, placed them in a pocket inside his suit, and slipped the rest of the glass inside his suit in case of an unusual emergency that called for such an abomination.

Nick22 · **Reply #66 on:** December 03, 2007, 01:18:54 PM

Stripetail eyed the opie with uncertainty, after seeing 'food' the was considered dinner here, he was reluctant to assyume anything good about dessert. He cut himself and slice and took a bite. it was.. REal good. "And why can't they take the same care in thier dinners that they do in the dessert?" Stripetail murmured to himself.

The Great Valley Guardian · **Reply #67 on:** December 03, 2007, 02:25:56 PM

Omnivorous let out a belch that shook the cafe foundations, then had the nerve to ask "Hey can I get 100 more beers over here?" Longtail then whispered in his ear and he said again "And a slice of Chocolate pie for the bird thing!" Then Ricktor called out for something really stupid "Can I get a slice of pie with 100% radioactive slime? That stuff really hits the spot!"

Both Longtail and the sith lord asked "Won't that kill you....AND US?!" The F.B.I agent smiled as he replied "Yeah normaly it would, but my entire body is lined with lead! HA! I live, you both die...and I still get paid!" The sith lord looked at Longtail and said "You thinkin' what I'm thiinking?"

Longtail nodded and said "GAG HIM!" The ensuing scuffle lasted only a few moments but it was long enough for Longtail and Ominovorus to bring the agent down and tie him to the talbe stand. "Radioactive my beak!" said Longtail as he returned to the top of the table, and awaited the 100 cups of beer.

Manny Cav · **Reply #68 on:** December 03, 2007, 06:30:22 PM

A cautious staffer showed a group of chefs and staf members to the second floor room where the brown liquid was molded and colored into food to show what was supposed to be a moving skull on the floor. But, instead, there was just a hole (surround by regurgitated spam for some reason).

Someone in the group, apparently a high-ranking person, said, "He he he... you know what THIS means."

The person who initially reported the finding was immediately hit by a wave of fear. "Oh, no. Pleas, no! I beg of you, don't do it! I really saw it! I swear!!!"

"Oh, that's right, we're going to incur on you the same punishment as we always do on fibbers like you who cry wolf too much. Take him away to Chong!"

"NOOOO! STOOOOP! IM TELLING THE TRUTH!!!!!" he screamed as he was dishonerably dragged off to meet his fate and ultimate doom....

AvestheForumFox · **Reply #69 on:** December 04, 2007, 12:21:41 PM

Aves heard the screaming of the now ex employ as he was being dragged towards Chong's office

"Oh dear, not another one" sighed the fox, and he continued to stir the msg into a large vat of brown salty soup of some sort

---

Chong was seated normally as he was before, indian style in a meditating position, incense and candles were burning and before him was a large chalked cirlce

Chong looked up angrily at the intrusion of the workers

"What meaning is this?" he demanded

Manny Cav · **Reply #70 on:** December 04, 2007, 12:48:39 PM

"This guy is hallucinating. He claims to have seen a moving and talking skull in the food-processing room, but there was just a hole in the floor that was also oddly surrounded by regurgitated spam. I recommend the highest level of punishment for such as this. I also recommend that we patch the hole, as it would be unfortunate for our 'customers' to see what goes on in there."

Nick22 · **Reply #71 on:** December 04, 2007, 01:03:53 PM

The Screams of the pathetic employee reached out into the dining room where Nick heard it. He had a push broom and was pushing the debris of dozens of broken plates (most customers had dropped their food after trying to escape from LOngtail's rampage) He took a blac tinged notbook and marked down another number "Sounds like Someone is either going to get the "Wheel" ot Vladed" The wheel was a torture device that simultaneous strertched your body as razor-sharp spikes gradually were pushed up from the bottom of the wheel and through the victim. the faster the spinning the quicker the spikes pierced you. Vladed was a term for impalement, as made famous by the infamous prince Vlad Dracul. Chong had added soime Chinese touches to make it even worse, and it took longer for the victim to die. Nick shuddered as he worked.

Manny Cav · **Reply #72 on:** December 04, 2007, 07:48:21 PM

Manny observed his surroundings carefully. He wanted to lengthen his stay as long as possible to see how things would turn out, so he carefully picked off ridiculously tiny pieces of his cheesecake. It could take hours or even days for Manny to finish it, but that was his goal. Gustave shortly came by with Manny's bill.

"Here's your bill, masseur."

Manny looked at it. It read $45,000.

"Thank you," he said sarcastically, but you could never have told it from the way he said it.

"Your welcome, masseur. Please come back by again," Gustave said as he walked off to torture another customer with his routine.

Manny eyed the bill carefully before slipping it in his suit. He had no intention of ever paying. He planned on a classic eat-and-run.

Raptor · **Reply #73 on:** December 05, 2007, 12:37:17 AM

The cieling caved in. A Sangheili(look it up on Wikipedia) got out of the dust and blinked. "Ugh... I really need to remember not to drink the Orange Juice here..." He rubbed his helmeted head and sat down heavily. "Hi," He said to the person next to him. "My name's Anno 'Rhculee." Anno 'Rhculee looked around. There was a high level of magic here, that was for sure. Well.. Anno could tell by the fact that one of the patrons of the cafe had just transformed into an Orangutuan. An exceedingly fat Wizard sat at one table. A man who he as Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, who sold what might have once been Sausages, sat at another table. Niether he nor the Wizard were eating.

Nick22 · **Reply #74 on:** December 05, 2007, 02:14:18 PM

Nick pushed Debris by manny, who had all the classic looks of bolting without paying. "I;d suggest you pay Sir, If you cannot pay there are dishes n the kitchen for you to wash..Let me see your bill"Nick said calmly but firmly.
_
Stripetail looked up at the huge hole anno had made.. there was icy cold blast of wind that ripped though the hole and caused many of the people aroiubnnd to shudder with cold. "Reparum" He said softly, gesturing at the hole. after a few seconds the hole was repaired, but it took longer for the area to warm up again.. Stripetail then returned to his table and resumed eating his pie. He was considering ordering another..

Raptor · **Reply #75 on:** December 05, 2007, 02:23:25 PM

"Wow.. thanks.. uh... Squrriely-guy. I usualy have to pay for the damage I make here." Death momentarilty appeared. HELLO. He said to the spirit of a randomly disembowled customer. The customer said "Wow. I didn't think Death exsisted. Well, not as a person. 'Cause, you see, I've seen Death around here enough times to know it exsists, but-" Death sighed as he reaped the customer's soul. Then, he sat down at the same table Anno and Striptail were atand said I'LL HAVE ONE LARGE CHOCOLATE PIE. Instantly, the nearest waiter went off to fill out the order. Anno said "Good idea. Skip the main course go straight to dessert." Death replied I'M REALLY ONLY A SOCIAL EATER, BUT I WANTED TO TRY THE PIE HERE. Then, the head of a large dragon burst up through the floor.

OOC: Only Anno and magic characters can see Death, unless they're dead, about to die, or may die soon.

Nick22 · **Reply #76 on:** December 05, 2007, 04:00:34 PM

"Necros Discardius" Stripetail said,. It was the ancient name for death, it meant "Discarder of the the Dead". in olden times it was believed the souls of the dead were discarded when they died, and death was the one who took the souls out. "I imagine this place keep you busy Necros he said tpo Death. INDEED USUALLY ITS THE FOOD THAT KILLS THEM. I DON'T COMPLAIN, HOWEVER." came the whispery reply.

Raptor · **Reply #77 on:** December 05, 2007, 04:10:37 PM

Another customer fell dead, this time choking on a peanut. EXCUSE ME. Said Death. He walked over to the body and said ODD, IT WAS NOT YOUR TIME TO DIE. He looked at a lifetimer in the shape of an hourglass. THIS IS MOST ABNORMAL. He shrugged. The dead customer said "Really? then can you but me back in my body?" Death shook his hooded skull. NO. I DO NOT HAVE THAT ABILITY. He swung his scythe and reaped the soul. He came back to the table and sat down. I HAVE A FEELING THE AUDITORS MAY BE UP TO SOMETHING AGAIN. Death said. Anno replied "Those funky blue cloaks?" Death nodded. YES. He knocked over a cup of coffee he had been given, and it began to burn though the floor. HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE AUDITORS OF REALITY, STRIPTAIL?

Manny Cav · **Reply #78 on:** December 05, 2007, 04:42:17 PM

Manny was not pleased. "Pardon me, Nick, but I am not finished with my cheesecake yet." He was still picking at it as slow as ever. "I will go to the register when I am done."

Nick22 · **Reply #79 on:** December 05, 2007, 04:43:08 PM

"yes, I have, but I don't know much about them to be honest. I'd have to go look yup the books I have on them. Over the ages I've collected a vast library of information on pretty much anything you care to know about..mqagic.. of course. as well as history of aliens worlds, how to revive the dead..Not so mich on the blue freaks.." Stripetail replied.