Funniest Quotes You've Heard

MrDrake · **Reply #320 on:** June 14, 2010, 11:59:01 PM

Pirate #1: *after pirate #2 is shot by Barbossa* You're not dead
Pirate #2: No....he shot me
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

Cheese: I FOUND A CARROT!!!!
- Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends

Adder · **Reply #321 on:** June 21, 2010, 03:14:59 PM

This is from Tremors 2: Aftershocks. This is actually a scene from the movie, not one quote.

Grady Hoover (while holding the detnator): Come on, How stupid do you think I am?
Earl Bassett: Catch me on that one later.
Grady Hoover: Come on let me blow up the worm!
(Earl wants to do rock paper scissors on who'll do it)
Grady Hoover: sh**.
(Earl wins and blows up the worm)
Grady Hoover: Whoo hoo! 50 g's baby! 50 g's!
(Earl puts up his umbrella, and Graboid pieces start raining done on them)
Grady Hoover: Oh, sh**!
Earl Bassett: Told you.
Grady Hoover: I forgot.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #322 on:** June 22, 2010, 11:25:42 AM

Red vs Blue: Revelation Episode 10

*Tex is fighting the Reds and Tucker*

Sarge: You idiots! Let me show you how it's done...
*Tex punches Sarge and sends him flying*

Grif: Nice demonstration Sarge.

Sarge: Oh shut up.

MrDrake · **Reply #323 on:** June 28, 2010, 04:32:36 AM

Guybrush: *to LeChuck* Unholy this!
Elaine: Unholy this?
Guybrush: He didn't give me much to work with
- Tales of Monkey Island: Chapter 1

2007excalibur2007 · **Reply #324 on:** June 28, 2010, 01:20:28 PM

From Aqua Team Hunger Force

Dr. Weird: Gentlemen... BEHOLD! I... have lost weight!
Steve: Hey, lookin' good.
Dr. Weird: Yes uhh, all sugar's gone... MANUALLY! WITH THIS!! *takes out a chainsaw and starts laughing maniacally*
Steve: Okay uh... I think I'm gonna go to lunch... :blink:
Dr. Weird: (cutting his leg with the chainsaw) I need to lose 20 more pounds! OR I'LL NEVER BE PRETTY!!!

General Grievous · **Reply #325 on:** June 28, 2010, 03:38:24 PM

Here's a bunch from Spaceballs.

Dark Helmet:
* You have the ring. And I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now, let's see how well you handle it.

* What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?

* (he tries to cancel the self destruct sequence but the button is broken) Out of order"? F***! Even in the future nothing works!

* I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

* 1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

President Skroob:
* 1, 2, 3, 4, 5? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage!

*(after getting beamed onto the bridge and his lower half is backwards) Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was so big?!

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #326 on:** June 28, 2010, 07:22:22 PM

Red vs Blue
*Simmons tries to find a big weapon to fight Tex with*

Simmons: Caboose, help us!

Caboose: How? The computer won't let me. She's mean! This place is filled with mean ladies!

Simmons: Push some buttons- I don't know!

Caboose: Buttons? OH MAN I LOVE BUTTONS!!!
*Presses a few buttons and it causes a bunch of rocket launchers to fall from a crane. Simmons picks up one*

Simmons: Wow... that actually worked perfectly. Thanks!

Caboose: Great... how the heck did I do that?
-----------------------------
Grif: What do we do Sarge?

Sarge: I don't know. I never hit a girl in my life!

Simmons: Yeah I noticed; try harder!

2007excalibur2007 · **Reply #327 on:** July 10, 2010, 03:00:26 AM

From Loonatics Unleashed [episode: I Am Slamacus]

(after teleporting into the arena)
Rev: That was definitely positively not even remotely 4.67 seconds.
Tech: (notices Rev's disguise) Rev, you're supposed to be dressed as a fan, not a yodeler.

(later...)

Rev: (to Duck) This fight isn't over until the fat lady sinks, or, one of them becomes worm food, gives up the ghost, buys the farm, pushes up the daises, steps up the curb, SAVVY!?
Duck: Alright alright, I get it! ...what are you dressed for? Yodeling contest?

(after defeating Gorlop...)

Rev: Wow, Slam! That was absolutely inspired strategy! We made 'em so big, that he hit the forcefield and absorbed all those energy and overloaded! Makes me feel like yodeling!!

*starts yodeling*
Tech: (grabs Rev by the beak) ...don't. <_<

MrDrake · **Reply #328 on:** July 11, 2010, 07:35:28 AM

Toy Shark: *wearing Woody's hat* Look! I'm Woody! Howdy! Howdy! Howdy!
Look! I'm Woody! Howdy! Howdy! Howdy!
- Toy Story

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #329 on:** July 15, 2010, 10:47:24 AM

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Steve: *On the phone* Uh yeah, six inch hoagie. No mayo. Uh hang on. *Turns to Dr. Weird* Hey Doctor Wei-

Dr. Weird: My *** has finally decided to eat my hand! IT HUNGERS!!!! FOR MOOOOORRRRRRRE!!!!!!!!! *Gets "sucked in"*

Steve: :blink: *turns back to phone* Yeah, just the one hoagie.

MrDrake · **Reply #330 on:** July 17, 2010, 01:36:36 AM

Peter: If you go to get that abortion, I'll blow up the hospital
Lois: You wouldn't dare
Peter: You've seen Family Guy! You know I would!
- Family Guy

And yes, that's from the unaired episode from the USA which played last night here in New Zealand.

Over and Under · **Reply #331 on:** July 19, 2010, 12:50:13 PM

Rex: We're going to attack on foot!
Brachio: Why are we attacking their feet?
Rex: We are not attacking their feet! We are attacking on foot!!

Dinosaucers episode 46, "Seeing Purple".

Stitch · **Reply #332 on:** July 19, 2010, 05:23:02 PM

Isa: "Where's my alien donkey?"

Sin and Punishment: Star Successor

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #333 on:** July 19, 2010, 06:22:53 PM

Red vs Blue

Grif:   Games take a long time to make, so it's hard to tell when they're coming out. But, even if the game has no release date, you can still buy it. This is called "pre-ordering."

Simmons:   Pre-ordering is where you pay for something today, and get something a lot like what you think you paid for, at some unspecified point in the future. And if you don't pre-order you might not be able to get the thing you want, because other people did pre-order. You're basically paying to make sure nothing bad happens to you on Launch Day.

Grif:   You may know this process by its original name: extortion.

Animeboye · **Reply #334 on:** July 19, 2010, 11:18:26 PM

The Room

Johnny: I deed not hit her, et's not true, et's bullshit I deed not hit her. I deed not...Oh hai, Mark

F-14 Ace · **Reply #335 on:** July 20, 2010, 01:19:26 AM

Young Frankenstein:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ_pKqiB5Rg&feature=related

Dr. Frankenstein: Now... that brain that you gave me... was it Hans Delbruck's?

Igor: No.

Dr. Frankenstein: Ah. Good. Uh... would you mind telling me... whose brain... I did put in?

Igor: And you won't be angry?

Dr. Frankenstein: I will not be angry.

Igor: Abby someone.

Dr. Frankenstein: Abby someone? Abby who?

Igor: Abby Normal.

Dr. Frankenstein:Abby Normal?

Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.

Dr. Frankenstein: Are you saying... that I put an abnormal brain... into a 7 and a half foot long... 54- inch wide... GORILLA?!?!?! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME!?!

lbt/cty_lover · **Reply #336 on:** July 20, 2010, 09:35:36 AM

This quote is from the Doctor Who episode "End of Time Part 2".

The Doctor: There is an old Earth saying, captain. A phrase of great power and wisdom, with consolation to the soul in times of need.

Captain: What's that, then?

The Doctor: ALLONS-Y!!

MrDrake · **Reply #337 on:** July 20, 2010, 06:42:00 PM

Guybrush: It'll be a snap *poxed hand tried to snap fingers* a snap *poxed hand tries to snap fingers again* I said a snap! *poxed hand punches Guybrush in the face*
- Tales of Monkey Island Chapter 1

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #338 on:** July 21, 2010, 10:32:41 AM

Red vs Blue
*The Reds and Blues discuss what to do with Tex*

Church: I'm waking her up.

Sarge: No way buddy. You must have missed the smash-fest we went through. I ain't repeatin' that!

Church: Hey, we made a deal: I unlock you, you have to help me with her.

Grif: Hey now hold on a second...

Simmons: This affects the entire group; I say we put it to a vote. All those in favor of waking her up and kill us, say "I".

Church: I. Caboose?

Caboose: Present.

Church: No, we're not doing that. Just say "I".

Caboose: You. Oops, I mean me!

Church: No, "I".

Caboose: Church!

Church: Just say "I"!

Caboose: Ooh! Right, I get it. Sorry... my left eye or my right eye?

Church: He votes yes.

Caboose: I would also like it known that I was present.
-----------------------------
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Scott Pilgrim lines

Scott's cry to Todd Ingrim (3rd Evil Ex)
"YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!!!!"

Line from Kim Pine
"Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it."

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #339 on:** August 04, 2010, 01:28:12 AM

TMNT II

Leo: "You take the Ugly One!"

Raph: "No! You take the Ugly One!"

Donny: "I'll take the Ugly One!"

Mikey: "WHICH ONE IS THE UGLY ONE!?"

Mikey: "Phew! Now I know what a postal package feels like!"