The Gang of Five
The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: Mr Wonk on June 09, 2012, 06:03:07 PM
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Welcome to my first fan fiction ever. I should let you know that my grammar and spelling are terrible. But I need you guys to help me point out my mistakes because when I read it everything looks alright so I would be happy for you guys to ëpick out’ the bad but also the good in my chapters.
In the first few chapters I keep using ëshe said/he said’ a lot so my bad on that. I hope you guys enjoy my fan fiction. And yes you’ve guessed it… It’s another Pterano story. I didn’t know how many there where at first. :lol
Forgive me if it really is that terrible know. :cry
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Introduction
Once ago, there was a time where dinosaurs lived, A time when it really was all about survival of the fittest. But there was also a place where you can be safe. It was called The Great Valley and was home to lots of dinosaurs that where leaf eaters. They did not have to worry about any dinosaurs that where a threat to them because the walls of The Great Valley would protect them. Some have tried to get into The Great Valley but have failed. Because of finding no way of getting in or because of the locals would fight them back to the Mysterious Beyond.
The Mysterious Beyond is a complete wasteland. There are no green trees or grass, little water and food. It was just a brown wilderness. But that was only half of the problem trying to live in the mysterious beyond, Carnivore's dinosaurs also known as sharptooth to the local's leaf eaters, would kill any dinosaur on site if there had the chance. But little did there know about the great valley nearby.
Inside the valley there where dinosaurs playing with each other but these dinosaurs where different types of dinosaurs. Many who visited the valley had never seen this before due to them always stick to their own kind. One of the dinosaurs was called Littlefoot who was an Apatosaurus also known as the Longneck kind.
Cera was the second dinosaur playing in the group. She was a Triceratops also known as a Threehorn. Ducky was the third dinosaur to be playing in the group. She is a Saurolophus dinosaur which is called swimmers. Petrie the Pteranodon also known as Flyer. Chomper the Tyrannosaurus is one of the many kind of sharptooth and the only kind of sharptooth who lives in the valley. And Ruby the Oviraptor, the fast runner.
As these children play, someone was watching them from a distance.
'I'm becoming bored of this game' said Cera
'Well, what other games do you want to play' said Littlefoot
'Let's play hide and seek' Chomper interrupted Cera before she could speak.
'Me up for that' said Petrie
'Let's go' Ruby added
'Oh like it was not MY idea' Cera said
'Well because it's you're idea you can be the one who comes and finds us' Littlefoot said.
Everyone laugh a part from Cera. As everyone went to hide, Cera started to count.
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I make sure I post the rest later on. Thanks for reading guys. :DD
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ACK! Y U leave us hanging?! Who is watching?! :! Gaaah!
lol okay, now for the tough part. I don't really like giving grammatical feedback because I often make a lot of mistakes myself, plus I get nit-picky, so sorry if offend, just disregard this if you think I'm being a jerk :p but I did notice some errors.
A few times you switch the tone of who is speaking: switching form first to third, vice-versa, such as But there was also a place where you can be safe.
You should put 'could' there unless you want this to be told in the first-person, or that is, actively narrating as it comes, like an eyewitness account ;)
Also, when talking about the Great Valley, instead of saying It was called The Great Valley and was home to lots of dinosaurs that where leaf eaters. They did not have to worry about any dinosaurs that where a threat to them because the walls of The Great Valley would protect them.
instead of saying 'home to many dinosaurs that were leaf eaters,' you can say 'home to leaf-eating dinosaurs of all shapes and sizes' or something like that. The phrase you have makes it sound like you are quickly gliding over the details instead of taking the time to describe things.
Some have tried to get into The Great Valley but have failed. Because of finding no way of getting in or because of the locals would fight them back to the Mysterious Beyond.
Who are these 'some?' you should mention the meateaters here ;)
And on the subject of the gang, you don't think you need to give us their scientific species, but that's just me speaking. Also, you forgot the include Spike! or did you mean that? ;) lol
Whew! unpopular opinion done with! I really like it so far, and hope you update soon!
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Thanks for pointing out the error's. Spike not going to be in this one. It's not because I don't like Spike of course. And yes I wish I'd change my mind on puttting the scientific names for the species. I try to think if the person never saw or read Land Before Time before. And thought it was a good ideal at the time. :lol
Thank you StrutEggStealer for your review. I post more later. :DD
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Looks good so far!
grammar mistake I noticed:Everyone laugh a part from Cera.
It's apart.Yeah,i noticed a mistake which can be fixed by a simple backspace :lol
And maybe it's just me but it sounded to me like not only Chomper,but his whole kind lives in the valley Chomper the Tyrannosaurus is one of the many kind of sharptooth and the only kind of sharptooth who lives in the valley
Personally i liked that you put the scientific names of species there.
Oooooo and i have a tip who is watching them!I'm curious if i am right or not. :smile
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Microsoft Word said that was wrong. WHY WORD WHY! :cry
Anyway you guess right. :lol
I would like to thank my two reader's StrutEggStealer and Blais_13. The only friends I have. :lol
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Finding the right Hiding Spot
It was becoming midday. The weather was great without a single cloud in the sky. Littlefoot, Cera, Petrie, Ducky, Chomper and Ruby where playing hide and seek. Cera was voted to find everyone but before she could find the others she had to count to twenty. But Cera was annoyed because Spike was always the one who had to find the others. Even know this sounded unfair for Spike, he like it. It always improved his sense of smell which was always a life saver when there adventure into the Mysterious Beyond. And was a fun to try and hide from him which is always been a challenge. But Spike had gone with his own kind the Spike tails for a few days. He would be staying with his friend Tippy and her mother for a few weeks and then come back to The Great Valley.
'Why do I have to find them, it's never Littlefoot and I don't even remember the time when he was 'it' Cera thought to herself.
Meanwhile the others were trying to find a good hiding spot. Everyone a part from Chomper had a place to hide from Cera. He had to find a place soon otherwise he would never hear the end of Cera boast about how good threehorns are at hide and seek. So Chomper begins to run and then saw the smoking mountains (Which are really called volcanoes) that were the very same mountains that Chomper went to when he was a baby. He thought that if he was near the mountains but at a safe distance it would be alright. Chomper made his way up but round about half way up the want to smoking mountains he turned right and went to a path he never been through before.
Meanwhile Cera was trying to find the others.
'Ready or not here I come' Cera said out loud.
She went looking for the others. She thought there might be at the Thundering Falls so she went there. But no one was there to be seen.
'Where could there be?' She thought
'I know, there must be at the cave of many voices' Cera said before going off to search for the others.
Chomper had found a new cave he had not been in before. It was at the top of some kind of cliff. In his amazement he was far away from the smoking mountains as he could see because of the amazing view of the valley from top of the cliff.
'This cave must be empty; I don't think anyone lives far up here' Said Chomper.
So he went in to hide from Cera. Not knowing the bird looking footprints on the floor of the cave.
Hello? Anyone here? Said Chomper
No one reply back so he went in deeper inside the cave.
I hope you enjoy the second chapter of my FanFiction. So what will Chomper find? Find out in the third part of my fanfiction
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Chomper's Amazing Discovery
Cera had made her way to the cave of many voices. She looked everywhere until she spotted someone's leg. She made sure that the person hiding would not know till the last minute that there where caught out. So with a happy grain on her face she went right be hide the person who was hiding in a gap of the cave and then said…
'Boo' I've found you! Shouted Cera
Littlefoot jumped in the air. This made Cera laugh.
'You should see your face' said Cera as she counted to laugh.
Alright you've found me; now let's go get the others' Littlefoot said unhappy as he found out that he was the first to be caught.
'So Littlefoot what it's like being caught by the best hide and seek player in the great valley?'
'Annoying!' Littlefoot said.
'Don't worry Littlefoot YOU can be next to find the others next time. Cera said being sarcastic.
Meanwhile back at the cave on top of the cliff….
Chomper had stop. He had heard someone talking.
'Only a few more days to go' the voice said.
'Who's there?'Chomper said
Chomper turns to a corner where the voice was coming from. And as he did he saw a flyer sitting down on the ground looking at the wall. He was brown and orange with a bit of red and he look just like Petrie.
'Oh I hope there all forgive me for what I did' the flyer said.
'Hello' Chomper said.
The flyer had frozen in mid-sentence. He turns around and looks at Chomper with shock on his face.
A Sharp… tooth? The flyer said still socked that a sharp tooth was not only in the valley but was able to talk in leaf eater language.
'Don't worry I won't bite' Chomper said with a smile on his face.
Meanwhile…
Ruby, Petrie, Ducky where still hiding from Cera. Petrie had found a tree to hide in. He few up to the tree but the others couldn't. But at the back of the tree there was a hole of some sort. Big enough for Ruby to fit in but before she would stay there until the game was over she thought it would make a better hiding place if she put nearby wood and tree leaves to make it a part of the tree. Ducky help her by finding the tree leaves for her hiding place.
'This is going to look great' Ruby said.
'Yes it will be, yes it will' Ducky said.
Well I hope you've enjoyed the third chapter of my fan fiction. Please leave a review and thanks for reading.
Note: The chapters will be longer in the future!
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Yeah,i know that it will be Pterano :smile Uhh and he talks to himself!I gues five years of solitary makes thing like this.On the other hand,sometimes even I talk to myself.:lol
He few up to
It's flew.Never trust in ms word :DD
Ducky help her by finding the tree leaves for her hiding place
I think it should be helped.
I also liked how you explained why Spike is missing.
Good work!It was fun to read how Littlefoot had a nasty suprise.
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I talk to myself as well. :lol Also I think you're right about helped and flew. I need to trust myself more! :bang
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The Rehabilitate Flyer
'So what's your name?' Chomper said
The flyer didn't say anything. He was still in shock that a sharptooth was in the great valley.
'My name is Chomper, what's yours?'
The Flyer then had the courage to speak and answer his question…
'My name is Pterano' the flyer said
'So how comes I've not see you before?' Pterano said
'I could say the same thing about you' Chomper said with a smile on his face
'Well I hope you don't take this the wrong way but you're a sharptooth. I thought sharptooths were not allowed in the great valley.
'The herds have allowed me to stay. I even have my own cave that I live in'
'What about your parents'
'There know I can take care of myself but sometimes I really do miss them' Now that I've answered some your questions can you tell me more about yourself' At this point Chomper sat himself down ready for Pterano to speak.
'Err well…' Pterano didn't know what to say.
'What's the matter?' Chomper said confused at Pterano response.
'All right I might as well tell you. It's only a few more days before it's over anyway' Pterano said almost forgetting that Chomper was even there.
'Tell me what? Come on tell me' Chomper started to jump up and down in excitement.
'Shhh I don't want anyone to know I'm here. Pterano whispered.
'Why'
'Shhh'
'But?'
I said shhh. Pterano said getting annoyed.
'Right I shall now begin. About five cold seasons ago I try to get the power from the stone of cold fire! There was me and my two flyer friends Rinkus and Sierra. We had heard a longneck saw the stone of cold fire fall from the sky. So on the night we were about to leave to go and find it but there was a swimmer eavesdropping on our plans'
'What happened next?' Chomper said hanging on every word Pterano had said so far.
'Sierra kidnap the swimmer. I didn't want her to be kidnap but it was all too late.
'Why was it too late?' Chomper said
'Because all her friends try to get her back and we were running out of time to find the stone!' Pterano said feeling sorry for what he done on that night.
'Anyway to make the story short I and Rinkus and Sierra got to Threehorn Peak where the stone had landed. And to my mistake there was no such thing' Pterano explained.
'So there was no power in the stone at all?' Chomper said
'No. I came back to the great valley but I was banished for five cold winters!
'WHAT!' said Chomper
To make matters worse I put the kidnap swimmer and her friends in danger. Not to mention my own nephew.
'And there exiled you out of the great valley right' Chomper said getting into a mood.
'Yes…' Pterano said
'Then why are you here? You should be in the Mysterious Beyond!' Chomper was becoming angry at this point.
'I'd stay out from the great valley and lived in the Mysterious Beyond for one winter. And I just couldn't do it anymore!' Pterano said.
He then sat down and looked down at his feet. Feeling disappointed with himself.
'So I found this place in the great valley but far away from anyone seeing me. But I've changed now! I won't do anything that will put anyone in danger anymore! I won't I won't I won't I'WONT!
Chomper sat up. Feeling bad for him and said…
'I believe you' Chomper said with a smile.
'Really, you do?' Pterano said not expecting Chomper answer?
'Yes I do' Chomper said
'Great! But you can't tell anyone in the valley that I'm living here right now. It's only a few more days till my exile over ok.' Pterano said
'Ok' Chomper said
Meanwhile back with Cera and Littlefoot…
'Where are there?' Cera said getting annoyed
'Let's take a look near that big tree' Littlefoot ask.
Cera and Littlefoot made their way to the big tree. The same tree that Ruby, Ducky and Petrie where in. Cera look at the tree and found it odd.
'I thought this tree had a part of it missing' Cera said
'Are you sure? There are many trees in the great valley you know' Littlefoot joke.
'Oh no! I think I'm about to…. to sneeze!'… Ducky said inside the tree.
'Please hold it in Ducky. There about to leave…' Ruby said
But it was too late. Ducky sneezed everywhere. Which remove the wood and tree leaves that was made by Ruby and Ducky as a hiding place inside the tree.
'HA! We found you!' Cera said
At this time Petrie fell down from the tree because of the load noise.
'Are you ok Petrie?' Littlefoot said.
'Me fine but did I win?' Petrie said
'No you didn't, sorry.' Ruby said
So the story really getting good right now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading and please make sure you leave a review.
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Chomper keeps a secret
Chomper was still talking to Pterano. Not knowing that it was almost becoming dark.
'Who did you say you're nephew was? You mention him when you said putting the swimmer and his friends in danger'.
'Yes my nephew a flyer like me. His name is Petrie. Do you know him?'Pterano asked.
'YES his one of my friends' Chomper said in excitement
'I never thought my nephew would be friends with a sharptooth' Pterano said
'Yep' Chomper said happily
'Oh wait that means you also know the kidnap swimmer' Pterano said with a shock on his face.
'Yep but don't worry there will forgive you' Chomper said trying to make Pterano feel better.
'I hope your right'
'Oh no I forgot all about the game I was playing with my friends! Chomper knowing his friends must be worried about him.
'Look I've got to go Mr Pterano my friends must be worried about me now' Chomper said running to the exit of the cave.
'Remember Chomper! No one must know that I'm here! Not yet!' Pterano shouted
'Don't worry you're secret safe with me!' Chomper shouted
'I hope so. I really do. There can't know about me yet. Not yet.' Pterano said looking depressed.
Chomper had reached the entrance to the cave. He saw that the bright circle was about to set over the Smoking Mountains. He rushed down from the cliff hoping that the others were not worrying about him. He thought about what Pterano has said to him. He then thought about the last thing he said to him.
'Remember Chomper! No one must know that I'm here! Not yet!'
It echoes in his mind. It could be the fact that he was still ashamed of what he did that day and he just wanted to pick the right time to come back. Or was it something else he wasn't telling Chomper. Only time could tell and Chomper's main goal at the moment was to find the others. Chomper made it down the cliff and went throw the secret path.
Meanwhile…
'Where can Chomper be?' Cera said
'I don't know. I thought he was always the first to get caught.' Littlefoot said confused
'Yeah that's means he must be cheating!' Cera said
'Or that means he in danger' Ruby said
'I'm sure he can take care of himself' Ducky said
'But me know there are many dangerous around in the great valley. Petrie mention.
'We better get going now and try to find Chomper. It's almost night full.
'Me think we should check the thundering falls' Petrie
And so there went off to the thundering fails hoping to find Chomper there.
Meanwhile…
Chomper was out of the secret path. He then sniffed the air to see where the gang was.
'It looks like that direction' Chomper thought.
He ran towards the direction of the scent just like spike would if he was trying to find food. But then without warning he bumped into someone. At first Chomper thought it was a hard rock of some kind but no it was Mr Threehorn and he was not please at all. In fact Mad would be the prefect word for the mood of Mr Threehorn was in.
'Who was that!' shouted Mr Threehorn
'Sorry Mr Threehorn I didn't see you there' Chomper said worrying what Mr Threehorn was going to say next.
'I find that very hard to believe don't you?' Mr Threehorn said
'I was trying to find my friends by scent…' Chomper was cut off in mid-sentence
'What so you could eat them?' Mr Threehorn said
'No we were playing hide and seek. I would never hurt my friends' Chomper said
'You may not want to hurt them now but you will in the future!' Mr Threehorn said
But as he said that sentence Grandpa Longneck was standing right be hide him.
'Mr Threehorn what is the matter?' Asked Grandpa Longneck
'Chomper ran into me… He was cut off in mid-sentence
'It was an accident!' Chomper said
'I'm sure it was Chomper. Now the best thing we can both do is say sorry and be on our way' Grandpa Longneck said always being the peace keeper of the valley.
'I'm sorry Mr Threehorn for bumping into you' Chomper said while looking down at his feet.
Even know Chomper said sorry. Mr Threehorn went off without saying a word. Chomper was really unhappy but Grandpa Longneck said something that would make him happy.
'You know his wrong Chomper. You've done so much in this valley in a short space of time. And changed so much yourself as well. So don't let anyone bring you down. Not even Mr Threehorn. Grandpa Longneck said.
'Thank you sir' Chomper said
'There you are Chomper! I was worried about you!' Ruby shouted
'You know I can take care of myself Ruby. Chomper said
The others arrived as well. And there also saw Chomper and ran to his direction.
'We found you Chomper, we have we have!' Ducky said with joy.
'Looks like Chomper's the winner guys' Littlefoot said but still unhappy he was the first to be caught by Cera.
'Yeah only because Littlefoot was dragging us down' Cera said
'Hey' Littlefoot said
Everyone laughs at Cera comment.
'You guys just missed Mr Threehorn' said Grandpa Longneck
'Why was my Dad here?' Cera said confused.
'I bumped into him when I was trying to find you guys. And he was really mad at me' Chomper said
'Yes but it's all over now. What's done is done. Oh look it's time to go now Littlefoot. Say goodbye to your friends.' Grandpa Longneck said
'Goodbye guys' Littlefoot said to all his friends.
'Goodbye' everyone else said
'Me better be off too' Petrie said as he went off flying in the air
'I should go to' Ducky said
'Well I'm not going home yet' Cera said
'Cera it's time to go home now! Mr Threehorn shouted
'Oh I'm coming daddy!' Cera said as she rushes off to her nest.
Ruby and Chomper laugh as there too said goodbye to Cera.
'Well we better go off to our cave now' Ruby said as she yawns.
'Yeah I'm going to need some sleep what I went throw today' Chomper said
That's the fifth chapter up. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review and thanks for reading guys!
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Nice, I like this chapter, especially how Pterano is keeping his presence a secret. I always laugh whenever he meets up with Chomper;) his reaction is always so funny.
One thing, I don't think you needed to say ''Chomper noticed it was almost becoming dark. I did the same thing in my fanfic. You could swap that with 'Chomper noticed it was getting late,'.... just a suggestion :DD
Nice job so far, you've got me captivated
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'Yep but don't worry there will forgive you'
There know I can take care of myself
It's they.Look out for this one,becose it's a recurrent mistake.
Or was it something else he wasn't telling Chomper.
I think it should end with a ?.
Who did you say you're nephew was?
I think it should be your.
Good chapter!Maybe Pterano had other reasons to go back to the Great Valley in secret?I sense mystery :smile .
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Thank you guys. My next chapter the best one yet in my view. But also the hardest I've had to make. It's taken me a week to make because it had to be right to go with the plot of the stroy. :smile. Be sure to enjoy the spelling mistakes. (Only joking but if there are any then sorry about that) :lol
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Meet Zoran the Psychopath
Before you read on I have put the sharpteeth language in Italic. Please enjoy this long chapter!
It was night time in the Mysterious Beyond. But not quiet. This was because of a threehorn child was running hoping to catch up with her mother and father. He had gotten lost when a thick frog was around the far walkers and went the wrong way. The threehorn was a dark blue. His eyes were red and his horns where tiny but still growing. He stops to catch his breath for a minute. As he did a group of sharpteeth was watching him. The three of the sharpteeth moved and moved closer to the threehorn child.
The child did not know of this until one of the sharpteeth had moved a rock which made a noise. He knew by now he was being watch so he began to run. But as he did three black shadows came into view. The threehorn ran knowing what would happen if he stopped so he continued to run. But it was all for nothing as he soon slow down out of breath from running.
'If only I was more like my dad. I would be able to out run those sharpteeth'
He looked back and saw the three black shadows came into view. All three where sharpteeth and lick their lips as there could almost taste the meat on him. There surrounded him covering all exits.
'Quickly grab him' the leader of the two sharpteeth said
The two sharpteeth grab him. One of them grab by the legs and one by the body and head.
'Hold him down' shouted the leader of the pack
The two sharpteeth hold the threehorn child down. As there did so the leader reaches out for long vines he took from a tree. He began to tie the threehorn legs. The threehorn knew if there tie his arms he would be done for. So he tries to struggle to make it hard for the leader to tie his arms up. But the leader had an ideal for this…
'Alright now hold down his upper body both of you' the leader said.
The two sharpteeth grab and sat the threehorn up and put his arms high in the air. The leader put more tree vines around his arms tight. After his arms and legs where tied up tight there both went off to talk to each other in private. The threehorn was terrified now knowing he had no chance of running away. He then tried to reason with the sharpteeth but had forgotten that sharpteeth had a different language compared to leaf eaters.
'Pleas… Please let me go!'
There didn't response
'I'm just a kid who got lost, let me go!'
There didn't response
The threehorn started to cry.
'I'll even let you have my horns if you let me go' the threehorn cried
The leader looks back at him and then walks towards him. The threehorn put his arms up to show him where to untie him. But he was wrong, very wrong. The leader used the vines left over to tie his mouth closed making it very painful and hard for the threehorn to speak.
'Alright now both of you carry him to the cave' the leader said
The two sharpteeth grabbed his legs and pulled then up and then his upper body before there started to move him to the cave. The threehorn cried and scream as there carried him to his doom.
Meanwhile in the Great Valley…
Pterano look outside of the cave that overlooked the valley. All the residents of the valley were all a sleep. He looked at the direction of his sister and nephew nest.
'Tomorrow I shall return. If the residents of the great valley don't like it then to hell with them!' Pterano said to himself.
'I WILL return!'
Meanwhile in the Mysterious Beyond…
The young threehorn and the sharpteeth arrived at the cave. The cave was small but some sort of door was inside. The door itself was made out of stone. Cave paintings where everywhere in the cave and was all about one thing…
'The Three Stones of Life! They're going to be mine' the leader said
The Cave paintings had a fast runner holding the stone. Other paintings show him growling almost if he was in the dark. But the next paintings almost look as if it was a warning of some kind. The painting of this one was a blur unlike the other paintings. The fast runner looks as if he was being attacked by something. But the sharpteeth didn't take any notice of the last one.
The leader was called Nicholai. He was the colour red or what he likes to call it the colour of blood. He eyes where pure black and didn't care for life at all. Well a part of The Three Stones of Life of course.
''We just need to know how to open this door!' Nicholai said
'No need to worry about it bother. Will get that door open soon!' said the other sharptheeth.
Nicholai bother was a darker red but had red eyes and goes by the name of Alexander. He always helps his bother no matter what he asks for.
'We should be celebrating the fact that we even found this place. And look we even have a flash dinner to eat later on' Alexander told his bother.
The threehorn still tied up was being bullied by the third sharpteeth. The sharpteeth was testing his claws on the threehorn. Cuts were everywhere on the child. Blood was running down his face and his body but not so much that he would bleed to death.
'Stop playing with our food Vadim!' Alexander shouted
Vadim was the colour black and had yellow eyes. He was a friend of Nicholai but didn't get on well with Alexander but was still loyal to him and his bother.
'Sorry I was just seeing how sharp my claws are. Have you got that dam door open yet?' Vadim asked
'No. I've looked everywhere for clues but nothing!' Nicholai said
Vadim leave the threehorn alone and went right up to the door. He tries to push it open but it didn't work.
'Ok if you won't open then I force you open!' Vadim said with rage and the other sharpteeth watched.
'Oh you don't want to do that.' A voice said near the cave's entrance.
'Who the hell are you?' Alexander shouted
It was a flyer. He was pure black with red eyes. But this flyer had two horns at the back of his head like the devil and his teeth were razor sharp. And he was able to talk to sharpteeth.
'My name is Zoran and I believe we are looking for the same thing' Zoran said
'The Three Stones of Life?' Alexander asked
'Yes' Zoran answered
'I say we kill this flyer now!' Vadim shouted
'Go on then but you never get the stones without my help' Zoran said relax
'What do you mean?' Alexander asked
'That door is made out of stone. So hitting it will do you no good.' Zoran said
'Get to the point or I cut you in half' Vadim having his claws close to Zoran face
'You see this panel near the door. Push it and it will open' Zoran said
He then pointed to Vadim.
'Go on boy. Push it or are you too dumb to do that?' Zoran said
'That it you're going to pay with your life for saying that' Vadim shouted
As Vadim was about to attack his target. But Zoran moved out of the way just in time. But Vadim couldn't stop himself and went straight into the panel Zoran wanted Vadim to push. He smacked his head on the panel and fell on the floor in pain. Just then the door opened to a large room.
'Bingo! That was all you had to do. Remember to write it on your hand if you don't trust your head!' Zoran said with a laugh
Alexander helped Vadim up from the floor while Nicholai went deeper into the cave. The threehorn was watching everything trying to find out what was going on. As he saw the sharpteeth and the flyer walk in he then began to struggle again hoping that the tree vines would break off from his arms and legs so he could escape.
The three sharpteeth and the flyer went inside the hidden chamber. It was a big room which in the middle of the room was a stone that glowed in the dark. It was the colour yellow.
'There it is the first stone of life' Nicholai shouted
'There say once you have the power of all three stones no one could stop you from doing anything!' Alexander said
'Then let's go get it' Vadim said
'Wait I think we should let Zoran be a part of our deal' Nicholai said
'What is a part of your deal?' Zoran asked
'To get all the stones of life and to rule the Mysterious Beyond!' Alexander said
'WHAT! We don't even know him!' Vadim shouted
'If it was not for him we wouldn't of gotten this far' Alexander said
The room fell silent. Vadim looked at the other sharpteeth giving them the look 'This is a bad ideal'. Zoran look at his feet. It felt like hours but then Zoran spoke to the group.
'He right you know'
Zoran then look at the group. While the others were amazed at Zoran reply, was he agreeing with Vadim?
'You don't even know me. And yet you want me to be in your little group of yours. I prefer to work on my own you see, less chance of being betrayed you know. Now if you don't mind I'm going to take that stone now and I be on my way' Zoran said
'There no chance in hell your taking the stone' Vadim shouted
'Oh really' Zoran said before he laugh and then disappeared almost if he was never there at all.
Zoran was no were to be seen. Only his laughter could be heard.
'I say we get the stone and make our way out of….' Nicholai stop in mid-sentence as he saw Zoran right next to him. But before Nicholai could react to Zoran's attack, he was hit by Zoran claws in the neck.
'Bother!' Alexander shouted
Nicholai turn to his bother and reach out to him before saying…
I've failed you, bother! Nicholai said before failing on the floor dead. Blood ooze all around Nicholai body. Alexander was full of rage jump over his bother body and went for Zoran. Zoran this time react by kicking him in the face then grabbing his arm by throwing him across the wall.
'That is it! You've killed my best friend! And now you should pay with your life Zoran!' Vadim cried out load.
'Don't worry you be seeing him very soon my friend' Zoran said as he went straight towards Vadim and kick him in the chest. He went flying into the wall and fell to the ground.
Looking at the sharpteeth body's on the floor Zoran said to himself
'I think my work here is done'
Zoran went right up to the stone that growled so bright in the darkness. As he pick up the stone it became almost like a projector as it displayed many symbols before displaying a 3D image of where the next stone would be. It was a valley with great wall. It could only be…
'The Great Valley' Zoran said in shock!
After the image of the valley was displayed for some time more symbols appeared before cutting off. The cave went back into darkness.
'Well I shall go to the great valley then' Zoran thought to himself.
With the stone now with him and knowing where to go he made his way out of the chamber and past the door but he look over to the right side of the cave and saw the child covered in blood.
'Oh I so don't have the time for this' Zoran thought to himself
Zoran made his way to the cave entrance but stopped.
'I'm going to have to save him but it going to waste so much time!' Zoran thought
He went back to the child and was shock to see a threehorn tied up and full of cuts and bruises. He cut all the tree veins around him. Zoran took the threehorn to his camp and the one thing he was looking for… the first out of the three stones of life.
The Threehorn child that shall be named in the next chapter, Zoran, Nicholai, Alexander and Vadim are all owned by me. The rest is owned by Universal and Don Bluth.
Well I hope you guys like this long chapter. I think it's my best so far. Make sure you leave a review and have a good day.
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One thing, it's 'brother' not bother. I mean, I knew what you meant, just a reminder :)
Zoran sounds like a really neat villain, but not so much psychopathic as you described him. What is he, like a teleporter or something? likt Nightcrawler from X-Men?:DD favorite character.... XD
I also really like(d) your sharpteeth, while they lasted :(
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Oh God how I hate my brain sometimes. :lol. Zoran is a bit like Albert Wesker from Resident Evil Vdeo Games. Power-hungry, knowledgeable and infinitely cunning. The psychopathic side of him well come out later on in the story. What we do know that he will stop to nothing to get what he wants.
Oh I forgot to say I don't have anymore chapters to post so it may take some time to make the others chapters. This time the speiling will be better. :smile
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BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD huh :lol ?Good chapter and an intresting character.
Power-hungry, knowledgeable and infinitely cunning
I realy like that types of characters :smile .He seems to be a bit like murderer of murderers.He slayed the sharptheets withouth mercy,but he saved the treehorn.So i don't think he is a uninhibited killer,right now rather seems to kill only those who he thinks are threat to him or his plans,but he is capable to do good things.He remind me an assassin i read about.
Im sure he has got very big talons to be able to kill a sharpteeth,and i think he is bigger and of course much stronger than just a regular flyer.Am i right?
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BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD huh :lol ?Good chapter and an intresting character.
Power-hungry, knowledgeable and infinitely cunning
I realy like that types of characters :smile .He seems to be a bit like murderer of murderers.He slayed the sharptheets withouth mercy,but he saved the treehorn.So i don't think he is a uninhibited killer,right now rather seems to kill only those who he thinks are threat to him or his plans,but he is capable to do good things.He remind me an assassin i read about.
Im sure he has got very big talons to be able to kill a sharpteeth,and i think he is bigger and of course much stronger than just a regular flyer.Am i right?
Yes your very right. I would say he much bigger then Pterano and more powerful. He may of saved the threehorn but is he using him to his own needs? :idea
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He may of saved the threehorn but is he using him to his own needs?
Well i gues. :lol but he still saved him.Anyway,i'm waiting for his psychopathic side,that will be cool. :smile
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Pterano's Deception: The Three Stones of Life
Pterano comes back!
Today was the day Pterano would come back to the great valley. His banishment was over and had the chance to turn a new leaf or in this case a new tree star. It was still early in the morning but Pterano wanted to visit his nephew now. He went to the cave's entrance and look around the valley. Everyone was still a sleep so Pterano made his way to the cliff's edge. He took a deep breath and jump off the edge. He was felling at a fast speeds when he opened his wings so he could glide across the valley to his nephew nest.
Littlefoot was sleeping with his grandparents. He opened his eyes surprised to see it was morning. He looked around still seeing his grandparents a sleep. As he almost drafted back to sleep he saw a flyer go by.
'Was that who I thought it was? I must be dreaming'. Littlefoot thought to himself. And at that point he went back to sleep.
Pterano was almost there. He could see the cave by now and was coming in fast. So he backs himself almost like a jet fighter did if it was about to land. As he landed he saw Petrie sleeping on his own away from his mum.
'I think I give him a nice surprise' Pterano thought to himself.
So he went straight towards Petrie. He then sat down and began to poke him.
'No, me not want to wake up yet mama' Petrie said
Pterano kept poking him.
'Go away' Petrie said once more.
'Really but I thought you loved me?' Pterano said
By this time Petrie opens his eyes and saw it was Pterano. He counted believe it was him.
'Uncle is that really you?' Petrie said
'Who else would it be? I did say I would come back in the end'
Petrie jumped on him and hug him tight. Pterano put his arms around him as well still happy to see each other. At this point Petrie Mum woke up and found the two next to each other.
'Pterano! Your back!' Petrie Mum said
'It's good to see you sister'
By this time Petrie's several brothers and sisters had woken up by the noise and saw Pterano.
'PTERANO' there all shouted
There all began to run up to Pterano.
'Oh my' Pterano surprised of the huge welcome.
After many hugs and kisses from Petrie and his family to Pterano, there began to talk what was going to happen next.
'I think we better let the others know you're here' Mama Flyer said
'I guess so but will there want me back?' Pterano said with worry.
'At first there won't but over time there accept you back into the valley' Mama Flyer said
'Alright' Pterano said feeling depressed
'I'm going to tell the others you're here. You stay here and take care of the others for me' Mama Flyer said before flying off
Pterano watch her sister leave the cave. He still worried that the locals wouldn't accept him back.
'Are you ok uncle?' Petrie said
'I'm fine'
'Me think you don't like it'
'Really are you sure'
'YES' Pterano shouted
'Oh ok. No need to get mad at me is there?' Petrie said looking sad.
'No I didn't mean it like that…' Pterano trying to take back what he said to Petrie.
'So what you do you mean?' Petrie angry at Pterano outburst.
'Look I didn't mean to shout at you. I'm just worried that the elders won't let me stay in the valley. And if there won't let me stay in the valley then I won't be able to see you again' Pterano then sat down and looked at the wall.
'Me understand' Petrie said
'You do?'
'Sure I do'
Petrie and Pterano began to hug each once more. It had been so long but there where back together as a family again. Mama flyer had made her way to grandpa longneck nest and was hoping to speak to him. Grandpa was still sleeping until he finally woke up.
'I don't mean to interrupt your sleep Mr Longneck but I have some important news to tell you!' Mama flyer said with joy.
Oh don't worry about it Mrs Flyer. What's the important news?'
'Pterano back'
'Oh my…. We better have a meeting with the rest of the held right away' Grandpa Longneck said still in shock of the news.
'What's going on?' Littlefoot said
'I and grand mama have to go to a meeting. You just go back to sleep.' Grandpa Longneck said.
'Alright' and then he fell back to sleep.
Everyone in the valley was at the meeting but was still half a sleep and a bit moody. Like Mr Threehorn who couldn't wait to have his first say on the subject. Even know he didn't know what the subject was going to be.
'So why have you woken us all up Longneck' Threehorn said
'Mama Flyer has something to say.' Grandpa Longneck said
'Oh how wonderful. As much as I these love the idle chit's chats. I don't think we needed to have a valley meeting just so someone could tell how there day has been so far' Mr Threehorn being sarcastic.
'Threehorn please'
'Fine'
'I shall begin. There no other way I can put this but my bother has returned.' Mama flyer said
'PTERANO!' Mr Threehorn said with shock in his eyes
Everyone else started talking.
'I thought he was exiled!' Mr Clubtail said
'Don't you know that my exile over?' Pterano said as he landed on the ground.
More of the valley residents being to talk even more about the return of Pterano.
'Once my exile was over you said I would be allowed back into the valley as I please' Pterano said loving the power he had over 'there rules'.
'Pterano is right. He is allowed to return to the valley.' Grandpa Longneck said.
'NO! No No No! I do not like this one bit. How do we know he not trying to trick us or something' Threehorn said with rage.
'I've changed' Pterano shouted
'You said that last time. Right after you got half of the residents killed before we even got to the great valley. And then you kidnap a swimmer and put her friends, my own daughter and your nephew in danger!
'Please stop. I can't take it anymore!'
Everyone was shocked of Pterano respond. The brown flyer fell to his knees, and started to cry.
Mama flyer rush over to his crying bother. 'I think where done for one day Mr Threehorn!' raged herself.
'I didn't mean to…' Mr Threehorn lost for words at this point.
'Save it!' Mama flyer said as her and Pterano went back to their cave.
'I think we should talk about this later. We can all agree that Pterano stays.' Grandpa Longneck said
Everyone nodded a part from Mr Threehorn who was still unsure about Pterano. Everyone went back to their own nests where there children were still sleeping.
Poor Pterano. It looks like he had a breakdown. Who knows what's going to happen now.
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Rescued or Abducted
The dark blue threehorn opened his eyes. At first he thought he was dead but it seem somehow he survived but how? He was being tortured at one point and then the last time he saw the three sharpteeth go into the cave deeper with a flyer. At that point he tried to break free from the vines but must of past out. He looked around and notices that he was in a different cave. He tried to move but felt too weak to move.
'No! I can't stand being tied up again' He thought to himself.
He lifted his head up and find himself dress with green leaves all over his body.
'What's on my body?' He said out load.
'Good morning threehorn! Zoran says hello!' The black flyer said
'You… You're that flyer back at the cave'
'And you're that threehorn who cheated death' Zoran said with a smile on his face.
What's your name threehorn? Unless you want me to call you blue horn?' Zoran joked.
'I…. I don't want to' He was still scared of Zoran. In fact he didn't trust anyone since he lost his way from the far walkers.
'My name is Zoran. What's yours?' Zoran said trying to make the threehorn relax.
'Can you answer some of my questions before I tell you my name?' The threehorn asked.
'Sure as long as you tell me your name when you're done. Deal?'
'Deal'
'Now I would like to know why are you trying to make me look like green food. A longneck would enjoy taking a bite out of me right now.'
`The threehorn was wearing almost something like a green leave cape. It could be adjust of how tight it could be by the neck and it could be adjust by the chest as well. Flexible tree veins held the cape around him and were the only way to adjust and to take it off. But it was glue on him just in case he didn't want to wear it.
'Because your wounds where so bad I made sure there could heal without being damaged again by putting tree glue on you. To hold the glue in place I dress you up in tree leaves. It's going to help you recover.
'What's tree glue?'
'Tree glue helps heal cuts and wounds on your body. Trust me it works. It comes from the tree you know'. Zoran explained.
'Alright I have more questions. What were you doing in that cave I was abducted?' The threehorn asked.
'I guess I might as well tell you. Do you know the legend of The Three Stones of Life?' Zoran asked
'No'
'Well these three stones are hidden around this world in secret caves. Each stone gives you power of some kind but put the three together and you would be unstoppable. You could do whatever you wish to do and no one could stop you!' Zoran said with excitement.
'Sounds great but I don't think it's real. It's just a legend you known' the threehorn said.
'Oh really, just a legend you say, well take a look at this' Zoran show the child the stone that glow so bright. The child eyes almost pop out of his head when he saw that the stone was real and in excitement he started asking more questions.
'It's real it really is real!' What does it do? Have you found the other stones yet? Can I touch it? The threehorn said.
'Oh no you don't, Frist you tell me your name'.
'Well I guess I better tell you my name now. But don't you dare make fun of it or you be sorry!' The child said
'I won't' Zoran said
'Promise you won't?'
'I promise'
'Ok my name is Nathan…' the threehorn said
'Cute name. Not a threehorn name know'
'You sound just like the other threehorn kids I know. Always picking on me!' Nathan said ashamed of of the name.
'Bullies huh? I've been there before kid. I was always bulled for having two horns on my head. There said I was evil and should never play with anyone but myself. The kids would make sure of this by trapping me inside a cave. I kept finding ways out but there would always catch me. I did make one friend know but after a week he was killed by a sharpteeth. Zoran said
'That's horrible!' Nathan shouted
'I guess that one reason I save you in a way, you're just like me. Anyway it's time for you to go to sleep.' Zoran said in a quiet voice.
'No. I must find my Mum and Dad! I lost my way because of the fog. There must be so worried about me right now.' Nathan said
'Well before I met you I did see a large group of far walkers go by but that was three days before I found you. It would be impossible to catch up with them now.' Zoran said
'That will be them! We must go. We must we must.' Nathan shouted
'No.'
'WHY!'
'Because I need to get to the great valley and no one going to be able to protect you so you might as well come with me. The far walkers always go to the great valley at some point so you can wait there for them to come back and I will able to get the next stone as well. Of course Zoran said the last part under his breath.
'No I want to find them now!' At this point Nathan tries to move to the cave exit. He was still weak and moved very slow, but passed out halfway there.
Zoran went to one part of the cave. He put the stone down and went to get long pieces of green vines to hold Nathan down.
Zoran didn't want him to run away. But he didn't want to tie him up ether because that would damage his body even more if he was not careful. So he got five rocks and ties the each of the vines to the rock and then onto the threehorn legs and neck as he sleep. Because he would be so weak at the moment he would not be able to run away. And when he did get stronger and tried to run away the rocks would make a sound as there drag on the floor which would alert Zoran.
That night Zoran had made his way out of the cave to find them both some food. He left the sleeping threehorn on his own. He hated doing that but he needed to get lots of food for him if he going to travel to the great valley with him he would have to move with his own four legs. It's not like Zoran could carry him there. He found some red berries for Nathan and himself and went back to the cave.
Nathan had woken up from his sleep. He notices that Zoran was gone. So he thought he checks if Zoran was outside. He tried to move but he couldn't. He looked at his feet and saw the vines tied on him and look at the large rocks as well that the green vines where attach to.
'All this time he wanted to kidnap me!' He said as chill went down his spine.
He started to bite the vine around his neck but it didn't break no matter how hard he tried.
'I'm back and I've got some lovely berries for us to have' Zoran said eating his half of the food already.
'Let me go!' Nathan shouted
Zoran realised what the child was talking about.
'No. It's for your own good. Here have some barriers; it will make you feel better.' Zoran give him some barriers.
'How tiring me to some rocks going to protect me?' the threehorn shorted.
'You runaway to try and find your family but in fact your just going to get yourself killed' Zoran said angry at the child.
'Now eat the barriers and go to sleep'
Zoran then went off to his part of the cave and went to bed. Nathan looked at the barriers on the floor and then began to eat all of them before drafting off to sleep.
A few hours later Zoran woke up took the yellow stone and placed it near the threehorn. It glowed as it touches the threehorn body just like it did to Zoran. At first nothing happen but then the threehorn body changed. Muscles appeared around the threehorn body, he had gotten a bit fatter as well. He checks under the cape and saw most of the cuts healed by the stone. Zoran then removes the stone away from the threehorn and took it back to his part of the cave.
'Now he should be able to travel to the great valley. And I can get the next stone! But it looks like that Nathan able to get power from the stone as well. Interesting… ' Zoran said as he went back to bed.
Will Nathan trust Zoran? Will he ever get the next stone or even make it to the great valley? Find out in the next chapter.
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Close your eyes,becose i will start with grammar mistakes :p
'I guess that one reason I save you
Saved.You should use past simple in situations like this.
and I will able to get the next stone as well.
I will be able.
was still weak and moved very slow
Zoran said angry
Moved very slowly,and said angrily.
He tried to move but felt too weak to move.
I think you should use something like he was unable to take a single step instead of the second move.
I can't blame Zoran for bounding a kid who is too active,who don't want to do that?:lol
Poor Nathan,but I'm sure Zoran will regret that he didn't let him back to his family :DD
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Yeah that does sound better. I see I've made no spelling mistakes. (Jumps for joy)
He going to be a hand full that's for sure. :lol
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Actually, you made one. :p
Nathan looked at the barriers on the floor and then began to eat all of them before drafting off to sleep.
Drafting should be drifting.
Anyway, I've been kind off following this story. I like that it's focused on the "bad guy". Well, At least I THINK Zoran is the villain. It's hard to tell if he has any good in him or not. He could have rescued the threehorn just to resque him, or he could be using him for something, expecially now that he see's the stone can strengthen him.
Hmm, I feel something devious coming. :DD
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That's what I like what I've with the story. It leaves you guessing of what's going to happen next. But because there are so many out comes to the story you don't know how it really is going to end. :lol
Anyway thank you for reading vonboy. And everyone else. :DD
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Good for Zoran, but I'm sensing he's gonna do something evil in the next chapters so I guess I shouldn't say 'Good' yet :p
lol
nice chapter, I'm glad Nathan's okay...
and I don't think it's a silly name, my cousin's named Nathan after all :)
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Thanks for your post man. :DD I hope to post more chapters up later. :DD Nathan an epic name. :lol
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This wonderful piece of work has been submitted to the fanfiction awards 2012. If you're reading this fanfiction, please cast your vote and review here (http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=11269&hl=)!
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Mr Threehorn Conviction
Night had passed and it was a brand new day. The bright curie was in the sky. Mr Threehorn was taking one of his walks around the valley. For him it was a time to reflect on one self being. And a time to reflect what he was going to do today. Have a talk with Pterano. Mr Threehorn still didn't like the thought of Pterano coming back. He still didn't believe he had changed. If he had his way Pterano would have had to wait for five more cold season to come back.
He made his way past the thundering fails. He almost made it to Pterano cave when he saw Tria taking to Pterano sister. He hid behind a large brush which happened to be nearby. He started to try to hear what there where talking about.
'I'm sorry about what happened yesterday' Tria said
'It's fine. I think Pterano recovered now' Mama Flyer said
'Oh that's good. Where is he now? Tria asked
'He on his own in the cave. Everyone out playing with their friends' Mama Flyer said
'I see' Tria said
Mr Threehorn made his move as he walked past the two. It was now or never to have a chat with Pterano. He walked right up to the cave. Pterano landed right next to him but did not notice Mr Threehorn at first.
'Can I have a word with you Pterano?' Mr Three asked.
Pterano jump in mid-air as he saw Mr Threehorn.
'Mr Threehorn! I didn't see you there! W...What would you like to talk about' Pterano said surprised to see him.
'I want to know really….. Have you changed?' He questioned
'Of course I have.' Pterano said
'Really? The Threehorn didn't believe a single word.
'Yes, what you don't believe me?' Pterano
'It's not like it's been your first time being kick out of the valley. But you know full well why don't you.'
'Look Mr Threehorn. I know you didn't come down here just to bully me with your ego. So come out and just say it. You don't want me here!' Pterano was really angry now.
'I didn't say that' Mr Threehorn shocked with Pterano angry.
'No you didn't. But you want to say it'
'Now look here!'
'NO! You look here! You come to my own home just to insult me! And you've done it so it makes me the bad guy.'
'At least I did it without getting anyone killed!' Mr Threehorn shouted.
'WHAT DID YOU SAY?' Pterano said with rage!
'I SAID AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET ANYONE KILLED' Mr Threehorn said.
Pterano knew what he meant by that. And that was it. Pterano had enough of Mr Threehorn. He run right up to Mr Threehorn raises his right claw in the air and hit him on the forehead.
At first Mr Threehorn didn't know what to think of this. And then he started to bleed from the wound which run into his eyes. Pterano back off at first, he didn't know what he had done until he saw Mr Threehorn bleeding.
'I'm terribly sorry let me….' As Pterano was going to help Mr Threehorn he heard a rage full sound coming from the threehorn. Pterano walked backwards and bump into a stone wall. Mr Threehorn race towards him, his horns ready for attack but just in time Pterano ducked down but fell to the ground doing so. A large crushing sounded was heard in the valley. Pterano look up to see Mr Threehorn head was stuck in the stone wall. That was until he pulled it back out again. In angry of missing his target Mr Threehorn raise his two legs into the air and step on Pterano right arm.
Pain shot throw Pterano right arm. And he began to scream in pain. Mr Threehorn now couldn't see anything due to the blood covered his eyes. So he sat himself down to see if he could wipe the blood off with his arms. Pterano on the other hand was rolling over in pain.
Tria and Mama Flyer where still talking to each other but this time there were going to the direction of Mama Flyer nest.
'You know at least Pterano and Topsy are not trying to kill themselves at the moment. Now that would be bad' Mama Flyer joke.
'I know Topsy can be a bit hot-headed sometimes but he would never do that' Tria said.
Tria and Mama Flyer averred and saw the battlefield which had happen only minutes ago. Mama Flyer saw Pterano on the flyer rolling side to side in pain and Mr Threehorn covered in blood still trying to wipe the blood of his head.
'PTERANO!'
'TOPSY!'
Both of them cried as them went up to them to see what had happen. Others in the valley heard the cries and were heading for Mama Flyer cave as well to see what had happened. Mama Flyer went to his bother to for out what had happened. Could it have been a sharpteeth attack she thought?
'What happened to you, Pterano?'
'Threehorn happened' and then Pterano passed out.
'What happened here?' Grandpa Longneck said
Grandpa Longneck looked around a saw the big hole in the wall that was made by Mr Threehorn. He saw him and Pterano on the ground in pain one way or another. This pretty much answers his own question.
'We better get some help for the both of them right away' Grandpa Longneck said
Mr Thicknose was put to the task. He once saw a dinosaur that had a broken arm before and had learn how to heal one as well. He got a long peace of tree leaves and made Mama Flyer make a cast out of the leaves. And then place it tying it around the neck of Pterano who was still passed out.
'Right that should heal the bone. Thank you Mrs Flyer' Mr Thicknose said.
He then tried to help Mr Threehorn with the deep cut by placing leaves around his head. This would stop the bleeding and heal the wound. Mrs Swimmer applied this but Mr Threehorn was not pleased at all with his new look.
'What is this for?' Mr Threehorn said still angry.
'It's to stop the bleeding Mr Threehorn.' Mr Thicknose explained.
'Oh please you're just trying to dress me up like green food.' Mr Threehorn carried on.
'Please stop fighting Mr Threehorn. If you stop your ego for once then you wouldn't need to have a tiny piece of tree leave to heal your cut.' Mama Flyer said getting angry herself.
'What are you getting at!' Mr Threehorn said
'Now, now we still don't know what happened yet. And it's best we save it for tonight's meeting.' Grandpa Longneck said.
'I was attacked by him what else do you need to know?' Mr Threehorn said
'Yes and it looks like you did more damaged to him then he did to you.' Grandpa Longneck explained
Mr Threehorn didn't say much after that. In fact Mr Threehorn didn't even tell them what fully happened yet. He was going to save it for the meeting tonight.
Looks like things didn't go quite as planned for Mr Threehorn talk with Pterano. Will he be banished for having a fight with Mr Threehorn or will the valley fell sorry for Pterano. Find out in the next chapter!
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:o oh-oh my... *gawk* Topps didnt... Topps did
Pterano shoudlnt' have jumped to conclusions like that, I mean Topps just wanted to- OMG Y I DEFENDING MR. THREEHORN NOW??
lol nice chappie, can't wait to find out what happens :o
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Never mess with a threehorn :p
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:o oh-oh my... *gawk* Topps didnt... Topps did
Pterano shoudlnt' have jumped to conclusions like that, I mean Topps just wanted to- OMG Y I DEFENDING MR. THREEHORN NOW??
lol nice chappie, can't wait to find out what happens :o
In a way you're right but Mr Threehorn should have never said what he said. I'm already on the next chapter so just a few more days and it should be up!
Never mess with a threehorn :p
So true, especially since it’s Mr Threehorn! :lol
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In a way you're right but Mr Threehorn should have never said what he said.
Well, can't really blame him. i mean, looking at Pterano's past, it's understandable of Topps to be on the defensive and skeptical ;)
but yeah, he shouldn't have blown up... but Pterano shouldn't have blown up either^^
hehehehe, listen to me defend cartoon characters...
CAN"T WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPPIE!! :DD
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Journey to the great valley begins!
Meanwhile in the Mysterious Beyond
Nathan eyes opened slowly, and then he left his head only to see Zoran sleeping. He looked at the caves entrance to see it was light outside.
'It must be morning' He thought to himself.
He sat up and realized he didn't feel weak anymore and was able to stand up. So he thought he try walking towards the other side of the cave. He took his first few steps and was able to walk, he move more towards Zoran this time and then started to hear a guiding sound behind him. It was the rocks that where tied to his legs. Zoran rolled over to wear Nathan would be sleeping.
It only occurred to Nathan that he could take his chances and run away. But if he did the chances of getting killed was high. And this time there would kill him on the spot unlike the last sharpteeth he met. And he was now four days behind his family by now. It seemed easier to stay with Zoran, head to the valley and wait for his family to come. With that slotted out he thought he wake Zoran up. He moved closer to him and then started to tap him.
'Hey wake up'
Zoran didn't respond.
'Move it!' The threehorn shouted
Zoran didn't respond
'Fine then, I just run away…..'
Cut off in mid-sentence Zoran grab Nathan's mouth.
'Never joke about running away' Zoran said
'mmmhm' Nathan said as he try say 'sorry' while having his mouth trap shut by the hand of Zoran.
He let go and walk over and give Nathan some barriers.
'When you're fished your barriers well make our move to the great valley' Zoran said as he walked back to his side of the cave.
After sometime Zoran removed the green vines that where attached to Nathan neck and legs. He finally trusted him. And then there both walk out of the cave. It was a hot and sunny day. Zoran and Nathan started the great journey to the great valley. The two of them didn't say much as there walk through the mysterious beyond, until the threehorn tried to break the silence.
'Sooooo how comes you're not flying?' Nathan asked hoping to see the pteranodon to fly soon.
'So I can keep watch on you' Zoran said
'Hey! I said I'm not going to runway! The threehorn said annoyed.
'I'm not here to stop you from running away but to protect you from any dangerous.' Zoran said sill facing forward almost if he wasn't even paying any attention to him.
'Oh I see' the threehorn said.
There walked some more this time entering a canyon. Zoran felt cold like if he could tell something bad was going to happen soon. But he wasn't so sure.
'I think we should sing or play a game to past the time.' Nathan said
'I'm not so sure' Zoran said
'Oh come on, you enjoy it. Trust me!' The threehorn said
'Alright, aright, alright! I do it' Zoran said
'My mum use to sing it to me as a child and sometimes I sing it to myself' As Zoran said he began to sing.
In the shadow of the valley, I would like to settle down, wide open space, wind on my face, distant horizon, the moon on the crest in the shadow of the valley that I love best.
You have always waited for me and you always will be there. Sage brush and pine, old friends of mine, A little bit further, I will find my rest, in the shadow of the valley. That I love best.
I have wandered many places but they're all the same to me. Nowhere I've found to settle down. A little bit further I'll find my rest, in the shadow of the valley that I love best. In the shadow of the valley, that I love best.
'That was amazing!' Nathan shouted
Well thank you very much but we better hurry up and get out of this can canyon before it gets dark.' Zoran said
As there were talking, Fast Biters shadows appeared behind them. There were five of them and were getting ready to attack. One of the fast biters was on top of a cliff on the left hand side; his job was to attack first. The others fast biters where hiding in a bush or behind a tree. Zoran stopped dead. The threehorn stop as well looking confused.
'What's the matter?'
'Fast biters'
'How can you tell? I can't see any of them.' The threehorn added.
Just then a fast biter jump from the cliff to attack Zoran. But Zoran did nothing. The fast biter was falling closer to Zoran as was about to land on him. But sudden what must have felt like hours Zoran raised his left arm and strike the fast biter. The fast biter falls to the ground and didn't get up. A large pool of blood appeared around the body of the fast biter.
'Go I keep them off you' Zoran said as the other four fast biters appeared.
'Are you going to be alright?' Nathan asked.
'GO!' Zoran shouted
Nathan ran while Zoran started to attack the other sharpteeth. The fast biter who was behind a tree ran towards Zoran. The claws of the fast biter reach out to Zoran's head but missed as Zoran dodges them. The flyer grabs the legs of the fast biter and pulled them making him fell to the ground. In shock the fast biter couldn't get back on his feet. Zoran used his flyer talons to kill the fast biter. Another fast biter sneaked up on Zoran this time and attacked the black flyer back.
'Ahhhhhh' Zoran shouted
Zoran eyes went red with angry. He turned around to face the fast biter and punch him in the stomach. As the fast biter bent down in pain Zoran grab his head and choke him to death. Zoran fell to his knees in pain. He looks around to see where Nathan was, but he was nowhere to be seen. But something was wrong. Zoran had only notice that he had only killed three fast biters. Where was the other too? Zoran started to run in the direction where he last saw Nathan. Hoping he was still alive.
Nathan was running as fast as his legs could carry him. The two fast biters where chasing him. Nathan saw two paths he was able to chosen from, he rushed to the left side of the canyon hoping the fast biters would go the wrong way but there didn't. There were still behind him. Sudden Nathan stopped. It was a dead end…
Nathan turns around to see the fast biters. Before he could do anything there both grab him by his four legs but didn't expect the threehorn to try and escape by using one of his legs to kick the fast biter in the face. The fast biter groaned in pain but didn't let go of his legs.
'The moment you let go of me. I will KILL YOU!' the threehorn shouted.
Zoran who was in the air, saw the two paths Nathan could have taken. But he didn't know which one he would have taken.
'Where could there have gone to? I'm just going to have to choose!' Zoran thought to himself.
He went to the left side of the canyon hoping he chosen the right one. The wind push Zoran given him more speed. Sudden he saw three dinosaurs.
'It must be them!' Zoran thought.
He landed on a cliff high up from the ground. He saw Nathan being drag by the two fast biters.
'I better time this just right' Zoran said
The three dinosaurs where just under Zoran by now, he jump of the cliff and opened his wings, this was to slow him down as he was about to attack the two fast biters. Zoran made an angry cry as he landed on a fast biter. His talons dig into the fast biter and both of them fell on the ground. In shock the other fast biter let go of the threehorn and began to run away.
'Are you ok? Are you hurt?' Zoran said
'I'm fine' Nathan said getting himself on his own four feet.
'Good. I'm going to get that last fast biter' Zoran began to run in the direction of where the last fast biter was.
'But he is running away, is there any point now! Hey wait for me!' Nathan shouted
Nathan ran's as he saw Zoran trying to catch the last fast biter. Why was it so imported to catch him? Many thoughts raced through Nathan's mind as he raced towards Zoran. The fast biter had come cross the paths again. His legs where shaking in fear. He took the right side path of the canyon, the only path that has not been exploded yet.
'Why won't there leave me alone! I'm too young to die! It was only going to be kidnapping' the fast biter thought to himself as he run away from the black flyer.
Zoran had catch up and jump onto the fast biter. There both rolled over until Zoran got onto his feet. Zoran notice how different this fast biter was to the others. He was aquamarine blue with red patches around his face, with blue eyes. Unlike the other fast biters who were dark brown or black. He was also out of breath.
'Please I beg of you. D…Don't kill me!'
'Well see' Zoran knock him out with a blow to the head.
A few minutes later the threehorn child arrived.
'Are you ok?' Nathan said
'I'm fine.' Zoran said
'Oh well then that's good just one thing….. Why are bleeding! Nathan shouted.
'Oh I didn't notice. Anyway the good news is that where going the right direction and we have a new 'friend'.
Confused Nathan look at the knock out fast biter.
'Unh, Is he dead?
'No. Knock out'
'Anyway we better make our way out of this canyon before its night fall.' Zoran explained
'How is HE going to travel with us?'
'I'm going to carry him.'
'What!' Nathan said in shock.
'Over the past few days I've been gaining strength from the err…. Barriers' Zoran said
'Oh so I see' Nathan said
While Zoran carried the fast biter, Nathan followed by as there soon exits the canyon. There went on for miles until there thought there had found a safe cave to sleep in. It looked that no one else was living there so there set up camp. The cave was much bigger than the last cave Zoran had made his home in. There was even a second floor in the cave which made Zoran very happy. He would be able to leave the fast biter down there for his 'experiments' Zoran had on his mind without the threehorn knowing about it. Zoran began to tie the fast biter up with the green vines he used on the threehorn once. He also made sure that his mouth would not open at all when he wakes up.
'I don't want you to come down here when he wakes up' Zoran ordered.
'Why' Nathan asked
'Because his dangerous, he kill you when he gets the chance'. Zoran expanded
'Well ok…'
'Good. If I do need you when he awake I call for you' Zoran said
The threehorn went back to the first floor of the cave while Zoran was making the fast biter more 'comfortable' before he wakes up.
Well that's the tenth chapter up. I hope you've been enjoying it but I'm going to be busy now. I hope to make more chapters as quick as I can. But by the speed I'm going I won't be able to finish it on time before the July 26, 2012 as I thought it was going to be finish.
NOTE: I do not own the song ''In the Shadow of the Valley'' who was written by Bing Nathan and Raun Burnham. All rights of the song go to them.
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I will start with grammar as usual :p Hope it'll be useful to you:
you usually write there instead of they,an example:
'Where could there have gone to?
Where could they have gone to?
And sometimes you switch from past simple to present simple:
Zoran grab Nathan's mouth.
Zoran grabbed Nathan's mouth.
he thought he wake Zoran up
he thought he should wake Zora up.
After sometime Zoran
I don't know if it's a mistake but I never rely saw sometime used in this situation,I think it should be after a while.
as there walk through the mysterious beyond
as they were walking through.
'Oh come on, you enjoy it,
You will enjoy it.
My mum use to sing it.
Used.
The others
Other.
The threehorn stop as well
Stopped.
Just then a fast biter jump
Jumped.
he flyer grabs
Grabbed.
attacked the black flyer back.
Attacked the black flyer from back I think.
Zoran eyes went red with angry
With anger.
Why was it so imported
Important
has not been exploded yet.
Explored.
Why are bleeding
Why are you bleeding.
Good chapter!I wonder what do you mean by "experiment".Sounds like we will see Zorans Psychopath side soon.Huh and he is singing a song which he heard from his mother :wow .Something you rarely see from a bad guy.I think it makes him more realistic,and deeper than just another evil villian.
Good luck with your other things,and continue the upload as it's comfortable to you.:DD
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I make sure this comes first know. And yes the psychopath side coming a long very soon. :DD Zoran back story well also be told soon as well. So the next few chatpers will be getting more exciting. Thank you for the grammar tips. It's always helpful. :DD
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Nice chappie!! Hmm, that fast biter sounds a lot like one of my OC's, a Stenonychosaurus named Hadley, who also has blue eyes. :D lol
exciting! I imagine Pterano and Zoran will meet up? that is the impression I'm gathering, which would be EPIC!
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Lets just say that when Zoran and Pterano do meet... the great valley won't be the same ever again. :lol You're fast biter Hadley sounds really cool. My fast biter has had a bit of a hard past like Zoran which will be told soon. :DD And you find out why he tired to kill Zoran and catch the threehorn. :wow
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Lets just say that when Zoran and Pterano do meet... the great valley won't be the same ever again.
You're fast biter Hadley sounds really cool.
Woooooah... :o sounds intense.
if you want, you can view his profile here: http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=11247 (http://gangoffive.net/index.php?showtopic=11247)
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WOW! :wow
Your characters are amazing. :DD