The Land Before Time: Far Away Home

[Pangaea]

Finally, another chapter with Cera in it! (Not counting her brief adult appearance in the prologue, this is the first we’ve seen of her in Act II! :!) Too bad she’s having such an unpleasant time. I’d love to see her get back at those wingtail twins later on. <_<

That scene with Chomper, Ruby, and Thud was also really funny. (I didn’t know Thud even had irises, let alone blue ones. :blink:)

I’m afraid I don’t have much feedback to offer on the love scene with Sky and Star (I regret to say that romance is a concept I’ve never been able to grasp ), but as far as I'm concerned, it was well written and not clichÈd at all. I also thank you for not “going into more detail”.

I noticed a few somewhat odd word choices in this chapter, some of which might be typos:

It was like the imagines and feelings in his brain had faded, to be replaced with a lingering guilt over all the bad things he had done.

Sky turned on his feet to come face to face with the exactly wingtail he had wanted to see.

The lust in her eyes shone like two blazing suns and his very world seemed to mould into a conscience view of her, because nothing else mattered.

I’m becoming increasingly curious on what “The Eye of the World” is. Sky mentioned that Benzon created it, so whatever it is, it’s apparently not a natural formation, and the way he talks about it gives me the impression that it possesses almost Lovecraftian qualities, if just seeing it was enough to make Sky decide to completely abandon his old life so as to not be forced to disclose its location. (Don’t tell me if I’m right or wrong on this; I’m thinking rhetorically and don’t want any spoilers. )

Come to think of it, eyes seem to a recurring theme in this story. In addition to the Eye of the World, there’s the Occular, the wrinkles under Littlefoot and Shorty’s eyes signifying their maturation, the significance of eye contact in the romantic scenes for both Sky and Star and Littlefoot and Ali, and even the humorous scene concerning Thud’s eye color. Was this intentional? Or am I just overinterpreting things again?

[Caustizer]

Come to think of it, eyes seem to a recurring theme in this story. In addition to the Eye of the World, there’s the Occular, the wrinkles under Littlefoot and Shorty’s eyes signifying their maturation, the significance of eye contact in the romantic scenes for both Sky and Star and Littlefoot and Ali, and even the humorous scene concerning Thud’s eye color. Was this intentional? Or am I just overinterpreting things again?

Eyes is indeed a predominant theme throughout the story.

My left eye is broken in real life, so I see everything fuzzy out of it compared to my right eye... makes my vision sort of unique!  Anyway the main villian 'Eybron' is also a play on the same theme, in the pronouncation of his name.

I have an interesting picture that I plan to post as soon as I get my scanner working... it is my inspiration for the story.

It's a plastic figurine someone created of a 'Gyroscopic Eye' tied by vines to the back of a carniverous dinosaur.

Caustizer.

[Pangaea]

Eyes is indeed a predominant theme throughout the story.

My left eye is broken in real life, so I see everything fuzzy out of it compared to my right eye... makes my vision sort of unique! Anyway the main villian 'Eybron' is also a play on the same theme, in the pronouncation of his name.

Gah! I can't believe I forgot about Eybron! :

Speaking of forgetting...holy buckets, you already mentioned the eye theme in your &quot;Ask Me&quot; thread
in your "Ask Me" thread! :blink: And in response to a question I asked! Given that I read that response, I apparently completely forgot about it, noticed the story's repeated allusions to eyes on my own, and then asked about it here! It appears that once again I have raised the bar for absentmindedness.

At any rate, I really like the optical theme. And that's interesting how it sort of ties in with your own unique eyesight.

[Caustizer]

I have some good news and some bad news

The good news - it looks like there are still 14 chapters to go in this story in total, hooray for 14 more exciting chapters to read and review!

The bad news - this is about as nice and lovely as the story gets - past this point the story gets darker, characters die, and acts of murder and mayhem will abound!  Thats not to say there aren't any happy moments, but just don't be surprised when I the meaning of the "Black Dawn" becomes clear.

Caustizer.

[Sky]

Nice to hear some news.
But it kinda spoils a bit what happens next... but only a little.  

So there is 14 more chapters to read... then I'll wait 14 more weeks.  

[Pangaea]

The bad news - this is about as nice and lovely as the story gets - past this point the story gets darker, characters die, and acts of murder and mayhem will abound!  Thats not to say there aren't any happy moments, but just don't be surprised when I the meaning of the "Black Dawn" becomes clear.

In that case, let me warn you in advance that most of my reviews will probably be accordingly non-cheerful. Just remember it’s nothing personal; really dark LBT stories just aren’t my favorite thing in the world.

By the way, I think I now have a suspicion about the nature of “The Eye of the World”, and what the “Black Dawn” is, but I’m not going to share it, for fear of being right and ruining the story for everyone else.

[Caustizer]

Could you PM me your suspicions about the Eye of the World and Black Dawn Pangaea?  I'm not going to confirm if your right or your wrong, I just want to know how good I have been at dropping hints about their nature as the story goes on.  

The idea I was going for was that when the reader finds out about these things, they are surprised but not confused.  If they are not properly referenced throughout the story, people might get confused over whats happening.

Caustizer.

[Pangaea]

Well...I didn’t really get any hints from the story; the idea just popped into my head after I read your last post. Frankly, I assumed that telling it to the author would be as bad as (or even worse than) blurting it out in front of all the readers, as I thought that most authors don’t like their readers to be able to guess the endings of their stories ahead of time. (I can also envision a worst-case scenario in which the author likes the idea I came up with better than what was planned for the story, when the original idea has already been irreversibly implemented. Given my contemptible creativity levels, I doubt this would happen, but I’m nonetheless reluctant to risk it.)

I may be misunderstanding your concern about dropping hints (I personally think you’re doing well ), but considering that my suspicions were not inspired by them (though the reference to the Eye of the World at the end of the last chapter was probably the initial catalyst for my pondering), I’m not sure if what I have to say will be helpful. I’m willing to tell you, but only if you’re really, REALLY sure you want to hear it.

[Sky]

Hints? Now I feel really dumb for not reading the story carefully...  
I'm not such a good reviewer, I just enjoy reading it.  :unsure:

[Caustizer]

Don't worry about it Sky, I'm not THAT good that I'm working hints that subtle into my story on purpose.

At this point it's pretty safe to say that:

1) The Black Dawn is very terrible, even for a dark Land Before Time story

2) The Eye of the World is an object that was created, and it is dangerous.

All the rest will be revealed over the next 14 gorious.... ehm I mean glorious chapters!

(For those who just got the hint, I was just kidding)

Caustizer.

[Littlefoot1616]

Hey Caustizer!

I've been reading through your current fanfic and I've gotta say it is top notch stuff! I know I'm playing catch up at the moment (I've got to chapter 8 so far I think). Loving the writing style, the fluidity of the prose and the narrative perspective (flicking between the event that transpired and the story telling of present day). You write really well! I've been making bulk reviews on FF.net every few chapters I get through. Hopefully I'll get through them all soon so I'll be up to speed on the whole plot but it's all grand so far! Nice job!

[Caustizer]

Regretfully I must delay the Far Away Home project for a while.  This is for a multitude of reasons, but mostly its because of the decreasing level of commitment I can put into writing the story due to outside events.

From now on I'm going to post chapters on a "when complete" basis.

I apoligise to all the loyal readers who were expecting another chapter today  

Caustizer.

[Sky]

It's Ok. We can wait.  
Just don't force yourself.  

[Pangaea]

While I couldn't help but feel a little sad to hear that news, I understand (and identify with ) your situation completely.

On the plus side, this will give Littlefoot1616 time to catch up on the chapters.

[Caustizer]

Arg, it's mid week and I feel terrible for breaking my routine and failing to produce another chapter for my story.  Maybe it's fueled by the fact I'm two months in and I'm still only half done... there's a heck of a long way to go!

Apart from Rise of Storm Tide, I'm pretty notorious for not finishing things.

I feel a bit absurd for asking this, but could you guys (or gals) think of something to inspire me to keep going?  A wierd feature of my personality - one which I'm willing to admit - is that I tend to obsess over something for a brief period of time to the exclusion of all else, and then suddenly wake up one day and switch interests.  This tends to leave things unfinished quite a bit  

Caustic

[Littlefoot1616]

Don't worry about it so much Caustizer! I quickly fell out of the habit of writing a chapter a week when I first started fanfic writing. It does happen but give yourself credit. It's a tough routine to try and upkeep especially when you've got so much happening on a day-to-day basis. Just continue as and when you get the time. Your loyal readers (as you kindly put it ) will still be here. And as Pangaea said, will give me a chance to catch up with what you've done so far!  

Inspiration for continuing? Well, I think you said it yourself. You have a loyal fanbase who enjoy reading your story and are eager to see how the events will transpire. You've got a good solid plot, a wonderful narrative and your readers are hanging on your every word. No one can make you do something you don't want to do but you've come this far already, it would be a shame for you to ditch it all now. Too many good fanfics are left incomplete. It would really be a bummer if yours fell into that category as well. Just take your time with it. Less frequent posts doesn't mean the story's quality will degrade. If you need a break, take one. I know I'm gonna want to see the end of this story

[Pangaea]

Apart from Rise of Storm Tide, I'm pretty notorious for not finishing things.

I feel a bit absurd for asking this, but could you guys (or gals) think of something to inspire me to keep going?  A wierd feature of my personality - one which I'm willing to admit - is that I tend to obsess over something for a brief period of time to the exclusion of all else, and then suddenly wake up one day and switch interests.  This tends to leave things unfinished quite a bit 

All of that sounds an awful lot like me. I’m feeling rather inspirationally impoverished right now myself, but I’m always willing to make a donation.

Not sure if this will help or not, but I’m glad to know that there’s still so much ahead. As much as I’ve been enjoying this story so far, I would find it immensely unfulfilling if the stage was set for the finale right now, and the end was already in sight. However, knowing the precise number of chapters remaining also means that the remainder of the story will be like a countdown; thus I am inclined to prolong and cherish the anticipation and enjoyment I get from this story as much as possible. Therefore, it doesn’t matter to me in the slightest if new chapters are not added on a regular, weekly basis, provided that the story gets done eventually. A fanfiction whose chapters are leisurely and meticulously written is infinitely preferable over a rushed fanfic with chapters always delivered on schedule. Like Littlefoot1616, I would dread to see “Far Away Home” added to the tragic list of great LBT fanfictions that were never completed, and if there is any risk that that may happen, I will do anything I can to help prevent it.

If what I have said here hasn’t served as effective inspiration, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. However, as always, you are more than welcome to converse with me via PM, so that I may provide suggestions, share opinions, or otherwise offer any assistance I can.

[Caustizer]

I've been thinking about this for the past couple days, now I'm deciding to do it.

I'm splitting Act II: The Black Dawn into two seperate Acts, to balance out the number of chapters in each one.

The Acts will now be ordered as Follows:

Act I:  The Hunt for the Occular

- Prologue: Sky's Tale
- Part I: The Mysterious Earthshake
- Part II: Eviction and Justice
- Part III: The Sonicron
- Part IV: The Land of the Mistless
- Part V: Division
- Part VI: The Three Evils

Act II: The Wraith of the Tyrant King

- Prologue:  Tyron's Story
- Part I: Seperated
- Part II: In Hot Water
- Part III: The True Villian
- Part IV: A Mature Lesson
- Part V: Love and Hate
- Part VI: Assimilation
- Part VII: Escape and Imprisonment

Act III: The Black Dawn

- Prologue: Eybron's Story
- Part I: Lies and Betrayal
- Patt II: The End of Innocence
- Part III: Amongst the Ashes
- Part IV: The Long Claw of Tyron
- Part V: The Good Turned Bad
- Part VI: The Grand Creator
- Part VII: The Eye Returns

Act IV: The Eye of the World

- Prologue: The Eye Revealed
- Part I: Journey Into the Abyss
- Part II: A Desired Alliance
- Part III: The End of an Empire
- Part IV: Blood and Fire
- Part V: The Shattering
- Part VI: The End of Things
- Epilogue

...

I'll get to work changing it right away on Fanfiction.net and on the beginning post of this thread.

You'll notice I included the names of ALL the chapters.  They are subject to change as I continue to write the story, but for now feel free to interpret the happenings of the rest of the story as you like.  I won't be giving any hints  

And btw, its not 14 chapters to go its 18 counting the prologues... see what I mean about making more work for myself?  

Caustizer.

[Sky]

The last act sounds pretty awesome.   I can picture quite some scenes there.  

As for the inspiration to keep going, I suggest you take your time or just take a break.
It would be truly sad if this one would be left uncompleted...  

Yeah, I know, I'm not much of a help to motivate someone...  :unsure:

[Caustizer]

Thanks to Sky's ever brilliant artwork, here is another piece.  This time, it is a picture of Glide.

Glide