The Gang of Five
The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: LBTFan13 on December 02, 2008, 12:06:58 AM
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Well here it is! The start of Revenge II!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please view the prologue and give me your opinion/suggestions to make this story great!
Revenge II (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/1/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
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I gotta admit..that was intense! Short, but oh so very intense...especially considering the fact that Sierra is now dead! I wonder who this evil new sharptooth his, and what he wants with Littlefoot?
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I gotta admit..that was intense! Short, but oh so very intense...especially considering the fact that Sierra is now dead! I wonder who this evil new sharptooth his, and what he wants with Littlefoot?
Top that! Short, but waaay to caught my attention! I want to read more! :yes
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Interesting, very interesting...
Good start on a story, and I do especially look forward to the next chapter ;)
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Hello:
That was very cool, and it looks that a kind of dark story may be coming.
Keep it up! it looks very interesting indeed.
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Mmm. Nice high tension opening. Can't wait to see more!
Keep up the suspenseful storyweaving!
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Chapter 1 is up! It's short, and it's not the best I've written, but at 11pm, I'm proud with it!
Tell me what you guys think! Use the link in the first post to get to the link.
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Nice opening.
Hmm. Sharpteeth attacking the Great Valley. Is this a "war fic"?
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We read, we reflect, we love this! :yes
More more more!
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Keep 'em coming :yes!
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@ Serris: Nope, no war here :D You'll see what the attack truly means later!
@ Others: Thanks for reading! I assure you the next chapter will be much more interesting.
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Hello:
It was a good chapter, with a bit of a cliffhanger too. Keep it up!
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Chapter 2 up! It's definitely much more interesting than the last chapter so hope you guys like it!
Read it and tell me what you think!
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Oh yeah! It's heating up!
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That was a good chapter!
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The only I didn't like about this chapter is the fact that it ended to fast! :P:
Getting thrilling! Can't wait for more!
Great job! :)
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Things just keep getting worse, but then there's more action involved! Overall great chapter, but now I'm worried about Ruby, who is in much more danger now. I wonder what Chomper will do...oh the humanity!!! :lol
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Hello:
This is getting very interesting, I look forward to read more! :yes .
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Very suspenseful, indeed. I wonder what happens next :yes. Keep 'em coming!
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I'll agree, this will be even more suspenseful than the original!
I wonder if the villian is one of the fast biters from 3 or the foreign sharptooth from V.
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I'm really sorry that it's taking so long to update. I promise you I am working on the next chapter as we speak. However, I have midterms at the end of January, which means this month is going to be a hectic one studying for the tests. Once midterms are over, it will be much easier for me to continue uploading!
Thank you guys for your continued patience with me!
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Eh, don't worry about it. Life gets all of us, and tends to pull us back from writing as much as we'd like.
I read the first Revenge last night and I am loving the series! For a start, it's pure LBT, and I prefer true-to fanfics over crossovers. In general, crossovers annoy me because suddenly there are all these characters from somewhere else intermingling with another plot. The crossed show/book/something also tends to be something insanely popular like Naruto or Sonic. I dunno, I just don't like the idea of having characters from a different WHATEVER mixing with another whatever. ESPECIALLY when it's something like Naruto against LBT. Totally different worlds. So yeah, I prefer pure fanfictions because I feel like it's staying true to the story and makes it...better. Super Smash Bros. themed fanfics are different, however.
Oh snap, that was a ramble. I'm sorry. Something remarkable about the characters that really struck out to me was how well your portrayed them. One thing about my fanfic that I worry about is that I won't be good enough on sticking to their personalities. All of your characters acted the way they do in the movies and show. They were believable because of that. Whenever they spoke, I thought, "Hey, that sounds straight out of a movie!" You know their personalities so well, you can make the dialogue sound just like them.
Your description was excellent as well! You could work a bit on your comma usage. Otherwise, I was impressed at how well you described the story. You could visualize it, and you also used the right words to express what was going on at the moment. "Plummeting" and "plunging" can be completely different, and you understood things like that pretty well. One of your finest moments in this aspect was when Sierra and Pterano were fighting. It was an excellent fight scene. Very intense, action-packed and well-described. Probably the best LBT battle I've read so far. In fact, now that I think about it, this is my favorite LBT fanfic as of now.
But all this talent would have gone to waste if your storyline didn't work out. Well, it did! You turned the plot of all Rinkus and Sierra fanfictions--revenge--and turned the story into something of your own. The storyline was never boring or dull, and one thing led to another. There was never anything added that was indirect to the story or put in "just because." Everything flowed. And it was definitely exciting! Like I said, there was nothing boring about your fanfic. Whether there was a fight, a chase, or just dinosaurs talking, it all drew me in. One factor that definitely helped my interest was how believable you made the characters when comparing them to the movies/show.
I was even accepting of the romance. I normally despise the romance genre, especially when it's in fanfictions (hypocritically, one of my real-life books has to do with romance...). The reason why I hate romance in fanfictions is because WAAAAAAY TOO MANY fanfics have romance as one of the biggest concepts and it's intensely elaborated, even when it has hardly anything to do with the actual plot. Seeing all these lovefests really gets on my nerves. But you...for some reason I wasn't bothered when you did the Littlefoot/Cera; Ali/Shorty thing. I guess I didn't find it cheesy or pointless. Something tells me this romantic interest will play a big part in the series.
Well, I am taking up a lot of your time for you to read this, LBTFan13, so I better stop before I make the page explode! Overall, great, great job on the first book, and I'll start commenting on the sequel after you post the new chapter.
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Well I gotta say! It's great someone thinks so highly about my story :D Yeah all of those things you mentioned were really hard for me, especially keeping everybody in believable character. I must say though, the fight between Neo and Agent Smith in Matrix Revolutions is what inspired the epic fight between Sierra and Pterano. That will certainly be hard to top, but hopefully I can come up with something just as exciting in the sequel.
Which brings me to something I want to say. As we all know, in many cases sequels to a truly magnificent piece of work, be it a movie, book, video game, etc..., are never as good as the original. Coming up with the plot for the first Revenge story might had been a little easy, but the events which happened as a result were very hard! If the second one does not appear in the same quality as the first story, then I apologize in advance. I always wanted to write stories, and now I realize the pressure Christopher Nolan felt while filming Dark Knight :blink:
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Hello:
Well, I don't have the experience myself, but I can tell you that you must keep working at your own pace, and keep the writting a an ejoyable activity for you and not let pressure to make your plot good to overwhelm you. If you enjoy doing this, then write it as you did write the previous one and it will be a great story.
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Well here's my dilema. I have finally finished Chapter 3, somehow, but for the past three days I've tried to upload it into Fanficrion.net and it won't let me log on to my profile because of a glitch in the system. If it isn't fixed soon, then I may not be able to finish uploading it there, in which case I will move everything over to here. I'm going to try again later when I get home from school.
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FYI, the problem still hasn't been fixed.
But I eagerly await Chapter 3
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Yeah you know what, I'm not even going to try uploading it on there. Until the problem is fixed, I will upload everything onto here. So I'll start with the prologue, then continue with the rest of the chapters.
Here's the prologue for everybody to read!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE LAND BEFORE TIME, its CHARACTERS, SONGS, SETTINGS, ETC…
I ALSO DO NOT OWN ANY SONGS FROM MODERN DAY ARTISTS USED IN THIS STORY! EVERYTHING BELONGS TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS!
I highly recommend you read Revenge I before reading II, as the summary down below is minimal.
The Land Before Time
Revenge II
Prologue
PREVIOUSLY ON LBT REVENGE
Rinkus and Sierra returned to the Great Valley in an attempt to exact their revenge on Littlefoot and his friends for ruining their plans to acquire the Stone of Cold Fire. They kidnapped Chomper, Ali, Shorty, Ducky, and Petrie to lure Littlefoot to the Mysterious Beyond. Along with Cera, Spike, and Pterano who returned to save his nephew, Littlefoot traveled to the Mysterious Beyond. Along the way, Littlefoot confessed his true love for Cera, while Ali fell for Shorty. Eventually, Rinkus led a group of flyers to stall Littlefoot, but Pterano killed him. Ali and the others escaped their prison, and after a near death off a cliff meet up with Littlefoot’s group. Sierra tracked them down, and after a grueling fight, with some help from Littlefoot, Pterano killed him but sustained heavy wounds. They all returned home safe and sound, and Ali and Shorty, along with their parents, decided to stay and live in the Great Valley
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The bright circle began to sink slowly behind the big water’s edge as night approached the world. Not too far from the Great Valley the big water brushed along the sandy beaches. The body of a brown flyer named Sierra lied stiff on the ground. A sharp rock was lodged in his neck, and his wing showed a hole from the stick which pierced it. The sand underneath his limp body was stained with blood until it clumped together. The body was bruised up badly from a fight with another flyer, and it seemed there was no chance of survival for the poor soul. Suddenly, as if by a miracle, Sierra slowly opened his eyes. He was still alive, but clinging on a sliver of it. He gasped for air, but it proved difficult with the stone stuck in his neck. Sierra couldn’t move at all, but he knew he had to do something before he succumbed to his death. I…can’t…believe…I…lost…to…those…brats…I…can’t…die…like…this… Suddenly, Sierra felt a sharp jolt of pain in his neck. Then he heard a quick, sickly sucking noise. Afterwards, all he felt was a small hole in his neck. Someone or something pulled the rock out, but who or what. “Thank…you…” he struggled out, but then his eyes widened when he looked up at the stranger. Standing above him was a dark green fastbiter. It glared at Sierra, and at that moment the flyer knew he was staring into the eyes of death. The fastbiter thought for a second and snorted.
“Where is the longneck child?” he asked in leaf tongue, which really shocked Sierra. The flyer opened his mouth to respond, but no sound came out. “Where is he!?” the sharptooth demanded. Sierra couldn’t move or say anything, and the fast biter sighed. “His scent led me here. I know he’s around somewhere. Now if you value your life, tell me where he is!” Sierra finally realized who he was talking about. He lifted his arm and pointed in the direction of the Great Valley, sighing in pain. The sharptooth smirked and then stared down at Sierra. “I’ve always wanted to taste flyer before.” Sierra gasped with horror and pain, and he struggled to stand, but it was no use. The sharptooth then lunged at his prey, claws ready to tear and teeth ready to bite, and at the same time he thought to himself:
Very soon Littlefoot. Very soon I will find you, and you will die for what you did.
TO BE CONTINUED
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I know I'm uploading these rather quickly, but I feel like it. Anyway, here's chapter 1:
The Land Before Time
Revenge II
Chapter 1
As the sky changed from its normal blue to a mix of fiery colors, Littlefoot climbed down the hill and headed back towards his grandparents. Following close behind him were his friend Ali, his brother Shorty, and his now closer friend Cera. They had just spent some time contemplating on their latest adventure, as well as their encounter with Rinkus and Sierra. Now without a fear of danger anymore, Littlefoot was finally able to feel some sense of peace in the Great Valley. As he reached the bottom of the hill, he turned back to the others. “Race you guys back home!” Littlefoot yelled back to the others. Cera laughed and ran ahead of him.
“You’re on slowpoke! Last one home is sharptooth food!”
“Hey no fair! You got a head start!” Ali yelled back. She then started to pick up the pace. “Come on Shorty!”
“Aww give me a break!” Shorty complained. The four of them continued to race, with neither one seeming to gain the lead. Cera even tried knocking over rocks or tree branches to slow the others down, but to her dismay nothing worked.
“We’re catching up to you!” Littlefoot called out. “Get ready to lose!”
“If there’s one thing I can’t and won’t stand for it’s a bragging longneck!” Cera yelled back. She started to sprint ahead, and sure enough she gained a massive lead. Littlefoot, Ali, and Shorty desperately tried to keep up her pace, but it was useless. Cera kept running and running until she was long gone. The three longnecks then decided to slow down their pace to a casual walk. Panting, Shorty spoke up first,
“Ok, whose bright idea was it to challenge Cera to a race?”
“Don’t be mad that you lost,” Littlefoot replied.
“So did you,” Ali pointed out, and the three of them laughed. Ali then said, “You know, Littlefoot, I’m glad that we’re friends and all, but are you sure about this?”
“What do you mean?” Littlefoot asked back.
“Well, I mean about you and me. Are you sure you’re ok that I’m in love with Shorty and not you?”
“Geeze Ali, why do you have to be so open about it?” Shorty asked.
“No it’s ok,” Littlefoot shook his head. “To tell you to truth, now that I’ve been thinking about it, I kinda prefer us as friends.” Ali smiled
“Yeah, I guess I’m glad too.”
“But did you really have a crush on him,” Shorty asked with a sarcastic yet surprised tone. “I mean, of all the longnecks in the world you were crushing on the dumbest?” Littlefoot glared at him.
“Well at least I passed the Big Longneck Test before you!” Ali laughed again as Shorty and Littlefoot continued their arguing back and forth over the silliest things. Had she not known better, Ali would have guessed Littlefoot was arguing with Cera. Finally she decided to brake up the argument before it escalated into a full scale brawl. “You two are hopeless,” she rolled her eyes.
“He started it!” both Littlefoot and Shorty replied in unison, and Ali sighed.
“Boys will be boys I guess.” Just then, a figure was approaching them at full speed. As it grew in size, the three of them recognized it as Cera. The threehorn skidded to a stop in front of the group, panting hard. She had a look of fear in her eyes, and immediately everyone new something was wrong.
“Sharpteeth……are attacking…….the valley,” she struggled to say. Ali gasped, and Littlefoot glanced over at Shorty.
“Do you think they followed you and Dad here?”
“No way they could have,” Shorty replied. “I mean Bron is big and all so he could have been seen on the way here, but we were positive we weren’t attracting attention!”
“It doesn’t matter how they got here!” Ali frantically responded. She looked back at Cera. “Where are the others? Did you happen to meet up with them?”
“Well there in lies the next problem. I told everyone to head to the caverns behind the Thundering Falls. So far I managed to find Ducky and Spike.”
“What about Petrie and Chomper?” Littlefoot asked. Cera hesitated before continuing.
“Petrie went to help his mother hide his siblings, but Chomper…” She stopped and looked down at the ground.
“What?” Littlefoot asked. “Is he ok? Tell me he’s ok!” Cera blinked a tear.
“I couldn’t find him anywhere.” Littlefoot felt all air rush out of him until he couldn’t breathe anymore. Ali and Shorty were taken back as well, but they were nowhere near as shocked as Littlefoot.
“No…” was Ali could say.
“You don’t think…….” Shorty started, but Littlefoot interrupted.
“DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT! HE’S NOT DEAD!” he screamed out in pain, but before he could say anything else, Cera spoke up again,
“That’s not half the trouble. I don’t know how to say this, but Ruby’s gone missing too…”
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Here's chapter 2. Next post will contain the new chapter 3!
THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS BRIEF LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE!
BLACKTAIL IS THE ONLY CHARACTER I OWN! I DO NOT HOLD THE RIGHTS TO ANYTHING ELSE!
The Land Before Time
Revenge II
Chapter 2
Chomper felt a strong dizziness surge through his body. He didn’t know where he was at the moment, but he could still hear voices around him. Looking up, he saw four figures standing around him. He couldn’t pick out their definite shape, but he knew he wasn’t alone. “Where am I?” he asked out loud. He then heard snickering, and then hissing and growling. “Who…who is that?” he groggily asked again, but there was no reply. Then Chomper started to come to. The figures above him began to take form until he saw four fast biters glaring at him. Chomper motioned to scream, but one of the fast biters rested his foot on the little sharptooth’s neck.
“Utter one sound and you will never breathe again,” he threatened. Chomper could understand him as he spoke in sharptooth tongue.
“Get up you little wipper snapper!” another ordered.
“Why should I?” Chomper struggled to say with the fast biter putting slight pressure on his neck. “You’re just...going to kill me!”
“Our master has a special need for you,” the third fast biter replied. The fourth shot him a look of disapproval.
“Don’t give away the plan you idiot! The master will tell him when the time comes!”
“Maybe I should be the judge of that,” another voice called out from behind. The four fast biters turned their head in the direction of the voice, and a fifth fast biter appeared. This one had dark green skin and cold yellow eyes. He stared directly at Chomper, and when the two made eye contact, Chomper knew this was an exceptionally dangerous sharptooth. “Let the boy up,” he waived with his hand, showing off his sharp, hooked claws. The fast biter took his foot off of Chomper’s neck, grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him up. The dark green fast biter shook his head and sighed. “You’ll have to excuse him. You see, we just feasted on a nearly dead flyer, and he’s been craving for more.”
“Who are you?” Chomper demanded. “And where am I?”
“You are just few minutes away from the Thundering Falls,” the fast biter replied, “and my name if you must know is Blacktail.” The moment Chomper heard this name, his eyes widened with fear.
“No. It can’t be you! You’re supposed to only be-“
“A myth?” Blacktail interrupted. He laughed and stepped closer towards Chomper. “Oh I can assure you, I’m more than just another bad sleep story.”
“Why are you here?” Chomper asked, “and why did you kidnap me?” Blacktail laughed even harder after hearing the little sharptooth’s question.
“You are certainly the curious one aren’t you? Well, I have some business to attend to here in the Great Valley. I need you to be my personal translator as I have seen you speak leaf tongue.”
“Go to hell asshole,” Chomper cursed in leaf. Then he spoke in sharptooth, “Translate that one genius.” Blacktail shook his head again, and then leaned in close to whisper in his ear.
“You really should be nicer to your elders,” and then he added, “especially to those who understand leaf tongue.” Chomper was shocked that he could understand what he said, but above all confused.
“If you can speak in leaf, then what do you want from me?”
“I despise leaf tongue,” Blacktail explained as he stepped back a little, “so I want you to act as my personal translator. To be honest, I’d prefer not to degrade myself and speak it like you do. In fact, you are a disgrace to the sharptooth race by befriending these grass guzzlers.”
“First off, screw you because I’m not interested in your request,” Chomper started. “Secondly, you’re the disgrace for being such a coward that you had to resort to kidnapping. Finally, I don’t care what you think about me. These dinosaurs are my friends and family, and I will not allow you to insult them!” Blacktail began to laugh the hardest he had ever laughed in his life. He almost started crying tears of amusement.
“Ok, let me see if I got this right. You think these leaf eaters are your friends and family? Oh this is too rich! You’re pathetic!”
“SHUT UP!” Chomper yelled in leaf, and with that he lunged towards Blacktail, claws ready. Blacktail simply reached out with his hand and grabbed Chomper’s throat, almost choking him. He slowly picked him up and held him in the air.
“So you realize how serious I am, I’m going to speak in leaf tongue.” He glared at the little sharptooth as Chomper struggled for air. “You have two options you little twerp. You can be my slave, or you can die. The choice is yours.”
“How about……. piss off?” Chomper managed to say in leaf. Blacktail began to squeeze tightly on Chomper’s neck, strangling him. Chomper knew at this point he was doomed.
“I’ve never feasted on my own kind before,” Blacktail started, “but you have left me no choice!”
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rock flew right into the side of Blacktail’s face. He whipped his head to the side in pain and released his grasp on Chomper. Chomper fell to the ground, coughing and holding his throat, and he looked up to see who had thrown the rock. Standing behind the fast biters was a pinkish fast runner with red spots and feathers lining her back. “Ruby!” Chomper called out.
“Chomper! Are you ok?” Ruby called back.
“I am now thanks to you!” Chomper stood up and tried to move, but the other fast biters closed in on him.
“Hey you bullies! I won’t let you hurt my friend, for he IS my friend!” Ruby yelled out. With that, she revealed another four rocks and launched them at the fast biters. One by one, they each fell to the ground, and Chomper hopped over them and ran towards Ruby. “Come on Chomper. Ducky and Spike are in the cavern behind the Thundering Falls, and Petrie is helping his family.”
“What about Littlefoot and the others?” Chomper asked. “They never got back from the hill!” Just then, a grunt came from behind them. The two looked back and saw Blacktail slowly try to get up.
“We’ll find them on the way back! Let’s move!” Both Chomper and Ruby started sprinting in the opposite direction, not looking back to see if Blacktail was following them. As they ran, many thoughts ran through Chomper’s mind. He hoped Littlefoot and the others were fine. He hoped Petrie would find that his family was safe. He prayed that Ducky and Spike didn’t wander out of the cavern looking for them. After running for what seemed like minutes, the two came to a stop, panting and out of breath. Chomper looked up at Ruby.
“Thanks again for saving me Ruby.”
“Thank you for the thank you Chomper,” Ruby replied, “and you’re welcome. Now let’s just get back to the others.”
“I sure hope nothing’s happened to them,” Chomper said, and Ruby nodded.
“They were fine when I left to find you, so as long as they are where I left them they will be fine!”
“You’re right,” Chomper smiled. Suddenly, the sound of growling and roaring grew louder from behind them, and Chomper’s smile disappeared. “Oh no! They caught up to us! What do we do?” Ruby looked around and found two giant bushes under some big trees. She grabbed Chomper, ran him over to the bushes, and stuffed him inside the leaves.
“Stay here Chomper! I’ll lead them away so you can escape.” She then pointed her finger at him. “Don’t make a sound.” Chomper tried to argue, but she had already stepped out into the open.
Ruby turned around and saw the four fast biters approaching her. “You dome heads back for more?” she taunted. She looked down at the ground and grabbed a long stick lying next to her. Ruby grasped it firmly and held it in front of her like a sword. “Come on then! Who wants to go first? One of you will be first, so who?” Suddenly, Ruby felt something whack her on the back of her head. At that moment, a huge rush of pain surged through her body, and she lost all her senses. She fell to the ground unconscious, as Blacktail stood over her with a stick of his own.
“How about me little girl?” he mocked. With that, he dropped the stick and looked around to make sure nobody else was around. When he didn’t see anybody, he sniffed the air for a scent of anything. At first, he thought he caught something, but then he disregarded it and looked at the others. “Take her back to the cave. She may prove useful yet.”
“What about the other sharptooth?” one fast biter asked, but Blacktail simply shook his head, indicating they would deal with him later. The four fast biters then rushed over to Ruby’s unconscious body, picked her up, and carried her away. Blacktail proceeded to follow them, but then he stopped. He turned his head slightly and glanced over at a pair of bushes under a tree. He sneered as he left.
“Consider yourself lucky that I’m letting you go for now little one, but next time you won’t be so lucky. We will meet again.” With that, he turned back and walked away.
Chomper was filled with many emotions. He hadn’t realized that Blacktail saw him but was letting him go, and he didn’t understand why. None of that mattered though. All he could do was watch in horror as the fast biters carried away his friend.
BTW, any dialogue in italics is in sharptooth tongue. Otherwise, the dialogue is in leaf tongue, or standard English.
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Finally after months of waiting, here is Chapter 3! You guys are the first to read it, so please enjoy and comment! Bear with me with the length of the post, and I'm sorry to the admins if this is considered spamming.
The Land Before Time
Revenge
Chapter 3
In the secret cave behind the Thundering Falls, Ducky continuously paced back and forth, waiting for her friends to arrive. She and Spike had been in the cave for seven minutes since Cera found them, but she told them the others would meet up at the cave as well. Spike had grabbed a vine sticking out of the wall and started chewing it. Ducky finally threw her fists in the air in sheer frustration. “I cannot wait any longer! No no no! Our friends are taking too long to get here! We need to go and find them Spike!” Spike simply looked up and nodded in agreement. Just then, a small flyer bolted in, panting. He landed right next to Ducky, and the little swimmer cheered. “Petrie you are here! You are you are! Is your family hidden?”
“Me…family…ok…Petrie…make…sure…they ok…” Still panting, he took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He managed to a little bit, but then a look of terror appeared on his face. “But me might… be followed here… by sharpteeth!” Ducky gasped, and Spike plunged his head into the soft ground.
“What do you mean followed?”
“Me think fastbiter saw Petrie! Petrie try to out fly, but me no know if sharpteeth follow!” Ducky ran and hopped on her brother’s neck, causing him to bring his head out of the ground.
“Well we have to find our friends. Yep yep yep! They will be in danger!”
“Me coming too! Me want to find friends!”
“Maybe we will find your uncle along the way. He could help us fight the sharpteeth! He could he could!”
“Me hope so Ducky.” Unfortunately, the moment they stepped out of the cave, a group of fastbiters jumped out from behind the bushes. Ducky screamed as the sharpteeth unleashed their claws and snarled with hungry looks in their eyes. Petrie flew closer towards Spike, and Spike prepared to leap into battle. Just as one of the fastbiters approached him, something body slammed into it, causing it to crash to the ground. What stood before them was very pissed off threehorn.
“Cera!” Ducky gasped.
“What the heck are you guys doing? I told you three to stay hidden!”
“Please no be mad Cera,” Petrie intervened. “We set out to find you, but here you are!” Cera hmphed and looked back at the cave.
“Get back inside the cave now! I’ll hold them off!”
“Not alone you won’t!” a voice cried out from the side. They all looked over to find Littlefoot, Shorty, and Ali rushing towards them. Littlefoot shouted, “Spike take Ducky and Petrie into the cave now!”
“Do you really think we can take them all?” Ali asked. “It’s now twelve against four!”
“Well we can split them evenly,” Shorty replied. “We each get three of them!”
“Sounds good to me!” Cera yelled. With that, she lunged towards one fastbiter and impaled it with her horn. She forced it to the ground and glared at two more. The fastbiter on the ground screamed a dying cry as its body went limp. Littlefoot and Shorty used their tails to trip another fastbiter and then simultaneously smash its head with their hind feet. Ali leaped onto the back of one fastbiter and bit its back, causing it to scream in pain and collide into another. Once on the ground, Ali jammed her foot onto the fastbiters heads and quickly flicked it to the side, snapping its neck. Cera grabbed a long stick nearby with her mouth and whipped it at two more fastbiters, knocking them to the ground. After Littlefoot body slammed into another one, he glared at the remaining fastbiters.
“Had enough yet?” Suddenly, an evil laugh echoed from behind the fastbiters. Everybody glared back to see none other than Blacktail
“So you must be Littlefoot,” he sneered in leaf tongue. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“How do you know me?” Littlefoot asked.
“And how the hell are you able to speak in leaf?” Shorty asked.
“Just who are you?” Ali demanded.
“My name does not matter puny weed whackers,” Blacktail replied. “What does matter is that Littlefoot is going to die by my claw!” Littlefoot gasped and stepped back. Ali and Shorty stepped back towards him to protect him, but Cera stepped forward.
“Over my dead body asswhole!” Blacktail roared with laughter at the sight of a young threehorn trying to defy him, but Cera stood strong. “If you so much as touch him I’ll tear your arms off!”
“Ok then little girl. I’m flexible.” With that, he lunged towards Cera ready to rip her to shreds. Suddenly, a giant tail whipped through the air and smacked Blacktail in the side of the face. The fastbiter flew to the ground, shuffled up, and glared at one tall longneck. Littlefoot and Shorty others smiled.
“Dad!” “Bron!” the two called out in unison. Bron looked down at his sons.
“You guys ok?’
“We are now!” Ali said. Cera grunted.
“I could have easily beaten the crap out of him!” Bron laughed.
“I’m sure you could have Cera, but why don’t you let me take it from here?” Bron then stepped towards Blacktail. “If you have any intelligence left in you, you better leave now, and don’t ever think about hurting my son again!” Blacktail stood up but started to back away.
“This isn’t over longneck! Mark my words!” He pointed towards Littlefoot. “That runt of a child will pay, and I will stand over his corpse and laugh. He will understand what it feels like to have everything taken away from him, and when he begs for mercy I will grant him none!” With that, he turned around and sprinted away. Littlefoot and Shorty ran towards Bron, and Ali stood next to Cera.
“And don’t come back you creep!” she yelled out. Then she looked at Cera. “I can’t believe we just took out a bunch of fastbiters.”
“I can,” Cera shrugged her shoulders. “These fastbiters were pretty stupid. It was very easy to kill them.”
“I wouldn’t quite call them stupid,” a voice said from behind. Everyone turned around to find Chomper, unharmed. Ducky, Petrie, and Spike ran out from inside the cave, all happy to hear their friend’s voice. Ducky leaped off of Spike and squeezed Chomper tightly.
“Oh Chomper you are ok! You are you are!”
“We afraid mean Fastbiters get you!” Petrie said. “Thank goodness you all right!” Spike walked over, licked Chomper’s cheek and nodded. Littlefoot almost jumped with joy, but the morbid expression on the little sharptooth’s face prevented him from doing so.
“Chomper what’s wrong?” Ali stepped forward.
“And where the heck have you been?” Cera asked very annoyed. “We’ve been worried sick about you!” Chomper sighed.
“I’m sorry I disappeared, but I had an unexpected visitor.”
“Who was it?” Shorty asked. Chomper started to speak, but then he hesitated. Everyone looked worried, but Cera merely hmphed.
“Just tell us already!”
“Cera calm down,” Bron said. Cera looked up at the longneck and bowed her head. Bron then looked at Chomper. “Please Chomper, you must tell us who it was.” Chomper looked up and blinked a tear.
“He…that monster…he took Ruby!” Everybody gasped, and Bron shook his head.
“Damn, not again,” he cursed.
“How is that possible?” Ducky asked. “Petrie’s uncle killed Sierra! He did he did!”
“It wasn’t Sierra,” Chomper continued. “It was that fastbiter you guys just encountered.” Cera grunted again.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me! That fastbiter doesn’t scare me! There’s no way he could have nabbed Ruby!”
“I saw it with my own eyes!” Chomper complained. “You have to believe me!”
“We do believe you,” Petrie reassured. “It no problem though, right Littlefoot?” Everyone looked at Littlefoot, but he didn’t respond. He was still trying to take in Chomper’s words. Fastbiter… Took Ruby … Littlefoot couldn’t understand why he would have taken Ruby, especially when he didn’t even know the fastbiter. Finally Bron responded instead.
“Well at least this time it’s only one dinosaur. It will be easier to rescue Ruby since there aren’t two of them like before.”
“It’s worse than you think.” A mysterious yet raspy voice appeared from behind. Nobody recognized it, except for Littlefoot. Whatever daze the little longneck was in, this voice immediately grabbed his attention.
“That voice. It can’t be!” Littlefoot spun around and met eyes with someone he did not expect to see ever again. What stood in front of him was a very old, dark green mole-like dinosaur. Littlefoot gasped.
“Hey kid. It’s been a long time,” the dinosaur said. Littlefoot could hardly speak, but the others were confused.
“Who is he?” Ali whispered to Shorty.
“You got me,” he replied.
“I have never seen him before. No no no,” Ducky whispered to Petrie, and Spike nodded. Cera rolled her eyes.
“Who the hell is this old geezer?” Bron glared at her. Finally Littlefoot spoke.
“Rooter…”
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Meanwhile, not far from the others, Hyp sat at a small watering hole looking at his reflection. He sighed as he took in how alone he was. “Man, why did Mutt and Nod have to go away on some awesome adventure with their parents? Now I’m so bored.” He sighed once more and threw a rock into the pond, watching the ripples expand through the water. At that moment, another reflection appeared right next to his. This one was a young, brown longneck kid about the same height as Littlefoot, and his name was Rhett.
“You ok Hyp?” Rhett asked. Hyp turned around.
“What do you want hatchling?”
“You know I have a name. Would it kill you to use it?”
“Fine. Rhett.” Rhett nodded.
“Better, now tell me what’s wrong?” Hyp lightly shoved Rhett aside and stood up.
“What’s it matter to you anyway?” Rhett shook his head.
“It seemed like you were really lonely sitting out here by yourself.” At that point, Hyp faked laughter.
“Me? Lonely? You hatchlings are not very smart. I never feel lonely!”
“Right, and that’s why you complain about your friends not being here and you being bored.” Hyp started to say something but stopped. Could this young longneck really be getting to him? Hyp was very puzzled, but then he spoke.
“Listen, just please don’t tell anybody about this, especially Littlefoot and his friends. All they’ll do is make fun of me.” Rhett looked even more confused than he was before, but before he got the chance to say anything something rustled in the bushes beside them. Hyp glanced at Rhett. “Is somebody with you in there?”
“No,” Rhett shook his head. “I came alone.” The bushes continued to shake a little for a few seconds until it finally stopped. Hyp took a step forward.
“Hello? Any pipsqueaks back there? Come out now!”
“Is that really a good idea?” Rhett asked. “You have no idea who or what it could be.”
“I don’t need some baby longneck telling me what to do!” Hyp shot back.
“Hey I was only trying to help!” Rhett argued. Neither of them realized the two fastbiters hiding behind the bushes, and at that point it was already too late. They sprang out of the bushes and attacked their prey.
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At the same time, Blacktail had rounded up the remaining fastbiters and ordered them to leave the Great Valley and head back towards the Mysterious Beyond. While he kept looking for his followers, he cursed himself. “Damn that little brat! Why did his dad have to come and ruin everything? And what the hell is that old mole doing here also?” Blacktail had noticed Rooter had arrived in the valley, but he wasn’t sure if Rooter had seen him or not. Whatever the case, the fastbiter made his impression, and now he had to fall back for now. Blacktail then ran into one of his fellow fastbiters. “What is your report?” he hissed.
“Two more of the kid’s friends have been captured. A longneck and a two footer.” Blacktail nodded.
“Were they harmed?” The other fastbiter shook his head. “Take them back to the cave. They can join the girl fast runner. Make sure you restrain all of them, and do not kill them. Understand?” The fastbiter nodded and sprinted in the opposite direction. Blacktail couldn’t help but smile. “Everything is going according to plan. I will use his friends to lure him to me, and then I will kill him. Once I am done with him, I will kill the rest of his little friends, and then the rest of the Great Valley shall fall!” Blacktail laughed a demonic laugh before he continued heading towards the Mysterious Beyond.
To Be Continued…
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That issue over on fanfiction.net is fixed for now?
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Yippee! A long-anticipated update! Man, they kicked some serious booty in that chapter :yes! This is getting good 'n suspenseful!
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Yeah I managed to upload it onto fanfiction.net. You can follow the link to it here if you so desire to
LBT Revenge Chapter 3 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/4/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
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I was kind of afraid this would happen, but it seems like a lot of people have lost interest in my story because of how long it took me to upload the next chapter. Nobody has really left a review for the chapter, which is strange because normally when I upload a chapter I would have maybe three or four reviews within a day. :unsure:
However, if that's how it is then so be it. I will continue to upload the rest of the story, and then maybe for whatever else I write it will be uploaded onto here exclusively where I know people will appreciate it.
Of course, I might just be acting paranoid at the moment, and if I come off as such I am sorry.
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Hello:
Sometimes it takes time for people to get to know you uploaded a new chapter after I think you had a problem with the page and that made you delay the whole thing. So I don't think it is that people lost interest, but just give time so they can see you could finally make an update. Just don't let the sudden lack of reviews to affect you and remember that you must write first for yourself because that should make you feel good. That may sound kind of selfish, but if the writter doesn't enjoy writting, then why to write? ;) .
Just keep up the great work!
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I Read The Revenge In The Land Before Time On Fanfiction And It Turns Out There Was Violence Which Mad Dad Doesn't Like.
But 8 Days Ago Before I Watched Glory Which Was R-Rated On DVD The One I Got From The Library, My Dad Saids It Has Some Violence And A Little Bit Of Cuss Words. But He Saids That Glory Is A History Movie About A Colonel With A Team Called The 54th Massachusetts To Fight War Which Had Violence.
The Revenge Story In The Land Before Was Too Violent, But It's Fine.
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Actually, I didn't think the Revenge series is that violent. I've seen much more violent LBT fics and even RPs.
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I was always curious to see how violent people thought Revenge actually was. I agree there are some violent parts in there, maybe too violent for the good of the LBT, but that's what makes fanfiction fun. You get the freedom to go "what if this happened" or "what if this was possible". Also, any idea that would not work for a movie can almost always work for a fanfiction, because Revenge would certainly NEVER work for a movie, at least if it wasn't toned down by a lot.
Speaking of which, I once again apologize for the inactivity. Vacation and school and play take up so much of my time. I promise you guys I am still working on the story, as much as I can ;)
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That's what I like about fanfiction, because you can take characters and have them do anything you want with them. Like for any kind of story, you could write about Scooby Doo vs a dog OC as part of a dog gang turf war between two dog gang families (one of my friends on fanfiction.net did something that in one of her Scooby Doo stories) or even have Sierra vs Pterano fight to the death for a story?
Or maybe have Petrie and Ducky as boyfriend and girlfriend, or Spike starts talking for most of a story/movie, anything can happen!
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Well after a busy time figuring this part out, here is Chapter 4 to Revenge II. Once again, you guys are the first to read this, so enjoy :D
The Land Before Time
Revenge II
Chapter 4
“So your name is Rooter?” Ali asked. The group was leading Rooter to the circle of stones while Bron went ahead to gather the adults to discuss about the recent sharptooth attack. Rooter simply nodded, and Ali asked, “So how do you and Littlefoot know each other?”
“Oh I found your friend when he was just a hatchling. I’m kind of a wanderer you see and was minding my own business when something bumped into me. I turned around and saw a young longneck crying.” Everyone nodded, but Cera merely grunted.
“Can we stop talking about the past and worry about what’s happening now!” Ali gasped a little, shocked by Cera’s rudeness, but Littlefoot simply ignored it. He wasn’t surprised with Cera’s reaction because he was certain she was feeling some remorse for the death of the longneck that saved her life.
“She’s right,” Rooter agreed. “The past cannot be undone, and there is no use feeling remorseful about it. Right now we have to deal with Blacktail.”
“He sure seems tough,” Shorty commented. “He’s definitely worse than Rinkus and Sierra.” Ali nodded.
“He is definitely scary. What do you think Chomper?” She turned back towards Chomper, but the young sharptooth did not seem to be in the mood to talk. He had dropped back away from the group and hung his head low. Everyone glanced back and could tell he was crying. “Chomper?” Ali called out, but Rooter sighed and gently shoved her aside.
“Let me talk to him.” He then looked at Littlefoot. “Lead the way kid.” Littlefoot nodded and stepped ahead while Rooter fell back towards Chomper until he was walking right next to him. “You know in all my years I would have never expected a sharptooth to be living among leaf eaters.” Chomper didn’t respond. He simply kept his head low and started to cry a little harder. Rooter had seen this before when he met Littlefoot, and at that moment he knew what he had to say. “Listen kid, I am going to tell you exactly what I told your friend Littlefoot. It is nobody’s fault that Blacktail kidnapped your friend, and it is most certainly not your fault. The great circle of life continues-“ Chomper shot his head up and angrily interrupted,
“You don’t understand! It is my fault! If Ruby didn’t have to come and save me she’d be here right now! If I hadn’t stayed in that bush I could have helped her! If I-“
“If you had tried to do anything you would be dead,” Rooter interjected. “There was nothing you could have done to help her. She gave herself up to save you.” Chomper wanted to argue but couldn’t. He knew Rooter was right, but it was too hard for him to admit it. “Look kid, I know how hard it is to lose a friend. I don’t even really have anybody to call a friend. I also know that there is no use in thinking about what could have happened. All you can worry about now is what has happened and what you can do about, not what you want to do.”
“But Blacktail might kill her!” Chomper replied. “If she dies…”
“She won’t. I promise you we will save Ruby and take care of Blacktail.” Chomper looked up at Rooter, and at that moment he knew he was telling the truth. The little sharptooth blinked another tear and nodded. “Come on then. Your friends are waiting for us, and it looks like we arrived at the meeting place.” Rooter was right. The circle of stones was in view, and they could also see the group of adults as well. Rooter and Chomper hurried up to join Littlefoot and the others. They arrived in the middle of the circle as the adults were already discussing. Grandpa and Grandpa Longneck rushed towards Littlefoot while his friends all hurried to their parents. Grandma Longneck lowered her head and nuzzled Littlefoot.
“Are you ok little one?” she asked.
“I’m fine grandma,” Littlefoot replied. Grandpa Longneck then nuzzled him.
“Thank goodness those sharpteeth didn’t hurt you. We were worried sick about you.” Littlefoot smiled a little and nodded, and then Grandpa Longneck addressed the rest of the herd. “Everyone we have a serious problem. Sharpteeth don’t randomly attack the Great Valley. Something is wrong.” Topsy, Cera’s dad, was of course the first to respond.
“Sharpteeth are too much of cowards to organize an attack like this. They must have been after something.” Then Pterano, Petrie’s uncle, joined the group. He was stilled somewhat injured from his previous fight with Sierra so he couldn’t fly, but he was still able to walk.
“Did the sharpteeth take anybody with them?” The children all looked at each other and dropped their heads. Pterano sighed. “It’s just like before with Rinkus and Sierra. Who was taken this time?”
“Our friend Ruby,” Ducky started. “Those mean fastbiters took her! They did they did!”
“Was she the only one?” Pterano asked, but Bron who was next to Grandma and Grandpa Longneck shook his head.
“Unfortunately there are two more hostages. I caught a glimpse of them leaving the valley, and some of the fastbiters were carrying another longneck and a runner.” The kids thought for a moment and then Ali gasped.
“The other longneck is Rhett!” Everyone grew worried, and then Littlefoot realized something.
“The only runner we know is Hyp, so they have him too?” Cera groaned.
“We really have to save Hyp? I’d rather be covered in sharptooth drool than help him!” She then glared at Chomper before he had the opportunity to remind her that he could make that possible.
“Yes we must save them,” Ducky scolded. “Rhett is our friend! He is he is!”
“And Hyp not always mean,” Petrie commented. “He just confused.”
“I’m afraid that’s easier said than done,” Chomper finally spoke. Everyone turned towards him, and he stepped forward. “We aren’t dealing with pushovers like Rinkus and Sierra. This fastbiter is nothing but bad news.”
“But why?” Ali asked. “Why is he so terrifying?” Rooter then cleared his throat.
“I suppose I should tell you all who we are dealing with.” He then looked at everybody before continuing. “Blacktail is a ruthless fast biter. He is a wanderer like me, except he kills everything in his path. He doesn’t care about anybody except himself. Not even other sharpteeth are safe from his wrath. Everywhere he goes he leaves death and destruction in his trail.” Then Bron spoke up.
“If he’s an enemy to other sharpteeth, then why are there other fast biters working for him?”
“They’re probably too threatened to fight him,” Ducky’s mother said. “I know I certainly wouldn’t want to go against a monster like that.”
“Not even Sierra was this evil,” Pterano sighed. “I never thought I would hear of anybody crueler than him.”
“But something doesn’t make sense,” Petrie’s mother said. “Why would Blacktail come to the Great Valley? And why would he kidnap the children? We’ve done nothing to him.”
“Well it doesn’t help that we have a sharptooth living with us!” Topsy replied and then immediately glared at Chomper. “Maybe he’s a friend of yours and you led him here!”
“Mr. Threehorn you can’t be serious!” Grandpa Longneck yelled. “Chomper would never align himself with a vicious sharptooth like that!” Topsy grunted, and Rooter spoke up again.
“He’s right. Besides, Blacktail would never align himself with anybody for that matter. Chomper has nothing to do with this. As for why he kidnapped the children…” He stopped and then glanced over at Littlefoot. “He wants to kill Littlefoot.” Everybody gasped, and Littlefoot inched very close to his grandparents.
“What do you mean?” Shorty asked. “What’s Littlefoot got to do with this?”
“I don’t think it would be right for me to tell you,” Rooter sighed. “It will only bring pain.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Cera yelled. “In case you haven’t noticed, our friends are in danger because of this fast biter, and you won’t tell us why? Who the hell do you think you are?” Topsy couldn’t help but smirk a little at her daughter’s behavior, but Bron stepped forward.
“Cera stop it! I’m sure Rooter will tell us if you let him!” Cera stepped back, and all eyes were on Rooter. Finally, he addressed the whole group.
“Does the name Sharptooth mean anything?” Everyone was confused at first.
“Well yeah,” Ali said. “Aren’t all sharpteeth named sharptooth?”
“It’s not just any sharptooth.” All eyes were on Littlefoot as they found a look of sheer terror. Littlefoot almost couldn’t breathe. “It’s………it’s……..” It wasn’t long before Cera realized it, and her mouth dropped.
“No…….. you can’t…….. you can’t mean……..him!” Just then, Ducky, Petrie, Spike, Chomper, Grandma and Grandpa Longneck, and Bron all grew the same horrified look, and Rooter lowered his head.
“I’m sorry, but you have to know.” Shorty and Ali were still confused.
“Who are you talking about?” Shorty asked.
“Sharptooth,” Chomper replied. “THE Sharptooth. The original monster.” Then Littlefoot spoke in a whisper.
“He….. he….. killed my mother………” Grandma and Grandpa Longneck both nuzzled him, and Bron moved closer.”
“What does he have to do with any of this?” Then Ducky and Petrie replied in unison.
“We……. we……. killed him……” Everyone had mixed reactions. Most of them were confused as to why this was a bad thing, but then Rooter said the one thing that would strike the utmost fear into everybody’s heart.
“Blacktail, the fast biter who has Littlefoot’s friends, is an orphan. His mother had died during the great earthshake, but his father was murdered some time after it.” He then looked over to Littlefoot, and he saw a tear roll down the longneck’s cheek. Rooter knew that Littlefoot had realized what this meant. “Blacktail………… is Sharptooth’s son.”
TO BE CONTINUED
Once again, I’m sorry for the wait. School is almost done for me, so I will have more time to work on this.
Before anybody says anything, I will explain everything in the next chapter, and I promise this does not compromise the first LBT movie in anyway!
Anyway, hope you guys like this!
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Lookin' good :yes!
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I taste some high octane adventures.
I eagerly await the next update.
I love the shocking twist. I wonder how they will fight against this killer?
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That chapter was very intresting. Good job LBTFan13!
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Thanks guys! Again, I'm sorry this is taking me so incredibly long for me to write up, but once school is finished it should be easier for me :D
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I know you updated it here, but when you get a chance could you please update it over on fanfiction.net as well? And thank you!
PS, Do you still plan on doing Revenge III with my oc Scarbeak some time after Revenge II.
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Yes I just uploaded it to fanfiction.net. Here is the link:
LBT Revenge II - Chapter 4 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/5/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
As for Revenge III, it's difficult to say. I would really love to write a third part to the trilogy, but there are a few things to consider.
1. I'm going to college in three months. Once I get there, I'll probably be very busy, so I may not have as much time to write it as I would like. Of course I would certainly try to write it, but it would be very hard to with the time constraints.
2. As open as I would like to make my passion for LBT, I'm not sure how people would take it. I know a lot of you probably have made your passion public, but it's not as easy for me. I am very sensitive about these things and worry about the image I give. Trying to keep this a secret would be very hard as well, although I would certainly try.
3. I really like the ideas you have shared with me. They are really great and would work perfectly. Of course, I can't constantly write the same exact formula for every story. The same thing would get boring after a while. I would have to change it up sooner or later, otherwise fans of the first story would lose interest.
So at this point, I would really love to write the third part, but if I did it would most certainly be the final part. But for now, let's get the second story finished first ;)
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Here is the Internet premiere of Chapter 5 to Revenge II for your reading pleasure! Enjoy :D
THE BACKSTORY FOR BLACKTAIL IS COMPLETELY MY OWN IDEA. IT TIES IN WITH THE FIRST MOVIE BUT DOES NOT CHANGE THE OUTCOME IN ANYWAY! ALSO, I DO NOT OWN THE SONG YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE
The Land Before Time
Revenge II
Chapter 5
As Blacktail watched the bright circle slowly creep behind the distant mountains, he reflected on the day’s achievement. I’ve delivered my message to the Great Valley. Littlefoot will die one way or another. He will pay for murdering my father. He then blinked a small tear. Father. I remember like it was yesterday when I first laid my eyes on you. As he closed his eyes, the memory of his birth flashed through so clearly.
Blacktail’s eyes stung a little as he adjusted to the light. The egg shell on top of his head drifted to the side as he sat up in his nest. He looked around at the wondrous sight around him. Everything looked so strange to him, but he wasn’t scared at all. Then he saw them, the feet of a tall sharptooth. He followed the feet up the tree like legs and the massive body until he reached the head. His father stared down at him and smiled. “My son,” he hissed in sharptooth. He then lowered his head down and nuzzled Blacktail. The young fast biter’s first sense of something touching him was so incredible. He couldn’t even begin to think of what was happening. All he knew was that this was his family, and he was safe with him. Blacktail then licked his father’s cheek. Sharptooth chuckled a little. “One day my son, you will become a great sharptooth just like me. You will be the best hunter in the Mysterious Beyond, and nobody will stand in your way. You will be feared by all who know your name, Blacktail.”
Blacktail couldn’t understand what his father was saying to him at the time, but every day those words echoed in his mind. You will be feared by all… Blacktail lowered his head and began to whisper to himself in sharptooth. “I am close father. Close to getting my clutches on that damn longneck child. Close to exacting my revenge. He will pay with his life for murdering you.”
“Hey domehead! What are you saying?” a voice called out from behind. Much to his dismay, Blacktail forgot he wasn’t alone. His three hostages, Hyp, Rhett, and Ruby, were all hanging from a tree branch with their hands, or in Rhett’s case front legs, tied above their head. Hyp had made the mistake of calling out, and Blacktail was not in the mood to be dealing with children. He slowly turned his head towards the three and approached them. “That’s right I’m talking to you!” Hyp yelled out again.
“Hyp maybe you shouldn’t antagonize the psycho fast biter,” Rhett commented.
“The only thing worse than a fast biter is a pissed off fast biter,” Ruby added, “and we do not want to get this fast biter pissed off.”
“You should listen to your friends,” Blacktail replied in leaf, now within claw’s reach of Hyp’s face. “Of course, if you really want to test my patience little hatchling, I’ll be more than happy to have an early runner dinner.” Hyp’s eyes widened with fear, and Blacktail grinned. “It doesn’t really matter to me when I eat you. I could kill you now and shut you up for good, but why would I deny Littlefoot the fun of watching his friends die?”
“Leave him out of this!” Ruby yelled. “I don’t like mean sharpteeth who threaten my friends!”
“What did he ever do to you?” Rhett angrily asked. “He didn’t cause you any pain!” That word made Blacktail twitch a little. He then glared at the longneck.
“You can’t even begin to comprehend the meaning of the word pain you naÔve leaf eater. Don’t worry though. Soon you will truly understand what it means to feel pain.” Just then three fast biters appeared from behind.
“The Great Valley is asleep now,” one hissed in sharptooth. “Shall we attack now?” Blacktail turned around and shook his head.
“I don’t want anybody hurting the longneck child. I want him to leave the safety of his precious herd before we strike.”
“But sir, that’s not part of the plan,” another fast biter argued. “We have specific instructions to-“
“I don’t give a damn what the orders are!” Blacktail interrupted. “The target has changed now. We deal with the longneck first, then we worry about him.”
“You are disobeying the boss’s orders?” the third asked. “He’s not going to like that at all when he finds out.” Blacktail sighed and walked towards the fast biter. He then leaned forward and whispered in his ear.
“Well he won’t find out.” Without warning, Blacktail spun around and with his claw slashed at the fast biter’s neck. The fast biter’s eyes bulged out of his head and he clasped his neck, breathing for air. Small trickles of blood leaked through his hands as he fell to his knees. Within seconds, the fast biter fell to the ground and slowly died. The three hostages all gasped and closed their eyes. Blacktail then glared at the other two fast biters. “Have I made myself clear?” he hissed. The two fast biters vigorously nodded.
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Back in the Great Valley, the dinosaurs had split into their herds to sleep for the night. Littlefoot wanted to go with his grandparents like always, but they insisted that he should stay with Bron instead while they both stood watch. Ali, Shorty, and Cera all volunteered to spend the night with Littlefoot, while Ducky, Petrie, Spike, and Chomper stayed with Pterano. The night circle had finally reached the sky as the world darkened to a dark blue tone. The children had all curled up together while Bron’s tail and neck formed a protective circle around them. Ali and Shorty seemed to be sleeping peacefully, with their necks crossing each other, but unfortunately it was not the same for Littlefoot and Cera. Cera even started to have bad sleep stories about the time they first saw Sharptooth.
Cera smiled and continued splashing in the pond alongside Littlefoot. The two were too busy popping bubbles to notice anything going on around them. “Hey this is fun!” Cera said as the two laughed and giggled. All of a sudden, a shadow appeared on the pond. It started to grow and grow some more until it covered the pond. Cera looked up and around, trying to find whatever was the source of the shadow. She heard Littlefoot gasp as he saw the shadow as well. They kept frantically looking around until they met eyes with their worst nightmare. A tall, black sharptooth stood over them with a hungry look in his eyes. He flashed his sharp blood ridden teeth before he let out a vicious roar that ripped through the air. “SHARPTOOTH!” Cera screamed. The sharptooth then started to approach the two young dinosaurs, and she turned around and sprinted away from the pond. “Help!” she yelled out.
“Mother!” Cera heard Littlefoot yell beside her. Suddenly the two tripped on some rocks and landed on their backs. They shifted around as the foot of Sharptooth appeared above them. “HELP!” they both screamed as the foot dropped towards them.
Cera screamed herself awake and began to breathe very heavily. She quickly looked around and noticed she was still in the Great Valley, and Ali, Shorty, and Bron were still next to her. She sighed in relief and lowered her head.
“You had a bad sleep story too?” Cera looked up and saw Littlefoot looking at her.
“Threehorns never have sleep stories,” Cera replied, and Littlefoot frowned.
“Don’t give me that Cera. If threehorns don’t have sleep stories, then why were you just screaming?”
“None of your business! Just leave me alone!”
“Cera don’t push me away like that. There’s nothing wrong with having a sleep story. Just talk to me about it.”
“I said leave me alone!” Littlefoot sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to win this battle.
“Cera, I Love you but you are so stubborn sometimes.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Littlefoot started to get up and leave, but Cera shook her head. “Are you an idiot? You can’t just go strolling around in the dark! What if Blackfreak finds you and tries to kill you again?” Littlefoot looked down at her, knowing that she was right. Then the threehorn’s voice turned into a whisper. “Please don’t leave.” Littlefoot smiled a little. She still had a soft side to her after all. He sat back down next to her, and Cera sighed. “Look I’m sorry ok? I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Thanks Cera.” Littlefoot leaned forward and kissed Cera’s cheek, but then another tear rolled down his face.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just…… I can’t believe Sharptooth had a son, and now he has our friends. What if he kills them?”
“Littlefoot you need to stop thinking like that. We’re going to save them.”
“But Sharptooth killed my mother. If Blacktail is his son, then he must be just as evil as he was, even worse…” He then went into a light cry. “I don’t want anybody else I love dying because of a sharptooth.” Cera nuzzled his cheek.
“If he so much as touches them we’ll rip him apart. You’ll see. That asswhole is going down one way or another.” Littlefoot nodded and whipped his eyes with his tail. He then tilted his head and looked up at the stars.
“She’s up there Cera. She’s up there watching me.” He then closed his eyes and began to sing a lullaby she used to sing to him. “When you walk through a storm, keep your chin up high, and don’t be afraid of the dark. At the end of the storm is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a lark.” He then slowly stood up and stepped forward towards the sky, as if his mother was beckoning to him from above. “Walk on though the wind, walk on through the rain. Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you’ll never walk alone, you’ll never walk alone.” He lowered his head and sighed. “That was the song she sang to me before she died.” Cera stood up and walked beside him.
“Don’t’ worry Littlefoot. Soon all our bad sleep stories will be over.” Littlefoot glanced at her.
“But I thought threehorns don’t have any sleep stories.”
“Don’t remind me flathead.” The two of them laughed, recalling Cera’s favorite nickname for Littlefoot when they first met. “My sleep story was when we first got chased by Sharptooth. That was so long ago.”
“Yeah, and I don’t want to remember it.” Littlefoot remembered when Sharptooth chased him into a thorn briar, right before he injured his eye.
“Well thinking about it isn’t going to help us at all,” Cera concluded.
“You’re right. We have to do something.” He thought long and hard, and then he came up with an idea. “We have to go and find them ourselves.” Cera glared at him.
“You really don’t think before you come up with ideas do you? We have no idea where Blacktail could have taken them.” Littlefoot nodded.
We don’t, but we know somebody who might.” Cera was still confused, but then she realized what he meant.
“You think Rooter will help us?”
“Help you with what?” Littlefoot and Cera both jumped a little, but then they turned around and saw Rooter standing there with a concerned look on his face. “Just what are you two planning?”
“We want to go and find our friends,” Littlefoot explained, and Rooter sighed.
“I was afraid you would say that. You know I can’t allow you two to go into the Mysterious Beyond alone.”
“So try and stop us!” Cera countered. “We aren’t going to let some old geezer like you tell whether we should wait to save our friends!” Littlefoot shot her a stern look of disapproval, but she ignored it.
“You misunderstand me,” Rooter said. “I said I can’t let you go alone, but I never said anything about not letting you go.” Littlefoot and Cera looked at each other, both puzzled, but then Littlefoot looked back at Rooter.
“Are you saying you’re coming with us?”
“I know the Mysterious Beyond very well. I can help you find your friends.”
“How can we trust you?” Cera objected. “For all we know you’ll tell our parents and we’ll end up stuck back at our nests!”
“Either I come with you or you don’t go at all,” Rooter replied. “Your choice.” Littlefoot nodded towards Cera, indicating that she should trust him, and Cera merely hmphed. She then nodded as well and Littlefoot smiled. Rooter nodded. “Then it’s settled. However, if we are serious about this, we leave right now, and I will only take the two of you.”
“No way!” Cera complained. “You can’t exclude the others!”
“Do you want to risk your friends’ lives?” Rooter glared at Cera. “This isn’t some stroll down the valley you know.”
“Cera he’s right,” Littlefoot agreed. “We have to trust him.” Cera moaned.
“Fine, but this is crazy.” Rooter chuckled a little and then turned around.
“Well let’s go then. We don’t want any parents waking up and stopping us now do we?”
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Hopefully you guys haven't given up on this story yet, because I surely haven't :D Here is Chapter 6 for your reading pleasure! Enjoy and PLEASE COMMENT :blink:
LBT Revenge II - Chapter 6 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/7/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
Because the posts are incredibly long, I'm not going to upload the chapters here anymore, so you will have to follow the links to fanfiction.net to read them. Sorry if this is inconvenient, but it's better than long spams ;)
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Once again, Mr. Threehorn got put in his place :p! Not only by Bron, but Tria as well :lol. Aw, man! I certainly hope Littlefoot and the others don't get hurt :(. This just gets more and more suspenseful. Keep it up ;)!
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Oy! Topsy is a real [censored]! Things are heating up!
I guess Deimos's line from Twilight Valley says it all: “Mr. Threehorn, if I may say so, you are an ignorant bastard.”
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^^ I was actually thinking about that when I wrote this. I really wanted to make a hatred form between Mr. Threehorn and another adult. He already hates Pterano, and I think having a rivalry with Grandpa Longneck is a little overdone. He has never met Bron before, so I thought I had to have the two of them hate each other, and I am very pleased with the results :D
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And again...the drama continues. And Topsy acts like, well...Topsy and again he gets put in his place by his mate! Good going Tria. However I am now worried what will happen to littlefoot and Cera, not to mention Rhett Ruby, and Hyp
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Well after a month of writing, I finally have Chapter 7 written and complete. This chapter........ well I kind of don't want to give anything away so you will just have to read it for yourself :lol:
Chapter 7 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/8/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
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Nice update :yes! Aw, jeez! It looks like some raptors are in store for an a**-kickin', and with the help of a tough threehorn like Cera, Ali and Shorty do have an advantage :lol.
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This is an update on my progress on the fanfic. I am almost finished Chapter 8, however I am not sure if I will finish the story before I leave for college, which is in two weeks. I might try and speed through the rest of the story, but that might make the quality of the chapters not up to par. If I must, I will branch over my first couple months in college to finish the story, but I am not 100% sure if I will begin Revenge III right away. I Might need to get fully situated first before I continue. Also, I plan on keeping my LBT hobby a secret otherwise I am pretty much screwed for first impressions.
Anyway, I hope you guys stick with me on this one. It's taking a lot longer than I thought it would.
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Well what do you know? Another chapter is up! :D :D :D :D :D
This is a long one, but I know you guys will like it. Please read it and let me know what you think!
Chapter 8 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/9/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
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the ending was great I just didn't understand how Littlefoot could take down all those raptors on his own he's not a ninja and the first LBT revenge story Littlefoot had his friends with him when he fought Rinkis so it made more sense.
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No he is not a ninja, but at this point Littlefoot is so determined to save his friends that he is filled with such rage that he feels he can do anything. This was present in the first story when they fought Rinkus. He was so angry towards the flyers that he was able to overpower them with. It's no different here, except I gave him the stick as a weapon to make up for the fact that he was alone. To make it somewhat realistic, I decided to have him overpowered in the end right before Scarbeak came into the picture.
I'm sorry if that was too odd, but that's how I invisioned it. Then again, Ninja Littlefoot would be so awesome :D
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And apprantly in this story he felt he could almost fight like a saurian version of Jean Claude Van Damme.
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Here's another update. Well I am in the middle of working on the next chapter, but as you can tell it is quite hard to continue on it because of college life. However I am learning to balance my time spent on everything, the most time going to my studies of course, and every now and then I will work on the chapter. I am sure some of you have probably by now lost interest in the story because of the lack of updates, so I hope with this next chapter I can lure you guys back in because I'm so devilish like that :lol
Anyway, I'm not sure when it will be ready, but when it is I will upload it for you guys. If you are still interested in the story, thank you so much for sticking with me. I know I'm probably the least active author on GOF right now (correct me if i'm wrong), so I apologize for that.
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As I promised, here is the next chapter of Revenge II. This one certainly seems more emotional than the last few chapters so far, and Littlefoot makes a decision at the end that shocks everybody, of course it might not shock you guys though. Anyway, please follow the link below, please read and enjoy, and please let me know what you think.
Chapter 9 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/10/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
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Hey, nice update! I gotta admit, Cera slapping Littlefoot was both hilarious and cute. That longneck does need some sense knocked into him now and then :lol. Can't wait to see where this journey goes...
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Nice.
Grandma Longneck cursing out Mr. Threehorn was a bit...jarring to say the least.
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Why does Blacktail want to get even with only Littlefoot? Didn't the entire gang particpate in Sharptooth's death?
Also, if Blacktail is the adopted son of Sharptooth, how come people recognize him on sight as a relative of the feared killer? Wouldn't he look different because he came from different parents?
Just a few questions, though I am enjoying the story. :smile
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Surprise! I managed to write another chapter for Revenge II! Here we kind of get some cleaning up around Blacktail's history. To make up for the fact that I messed up his character. Also, one of the characters makes a very important decision that......... well I'm not going to spoil it. You know what to do. Follow the link and enjoy!
Chapter 10 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/11/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
@ Cancerian Tiger - I thought it would be really funny if she did that. I could always picture her slapping Littlefoot like that.
@ Serris - Yes I realize Grandma Longneck would never do something like that, but at this point she is so fed up with Threehorn's stubborness. In fact, everybody is.
@ Caustizer - The answer to your first question is explained in this new chapter. It might not be worded as best as I would have liked it to be, so if you are still confused then just let me know.
As an answer to your second question, I am going to explain that later also. Unfortunately, it might be a continuation problem but I was going to put how he is recognized in an earlier chapter.
Otherwise, stories could have easily spread around the Mysterious Beyond. Also, Blacktail is so ruthless that the only dinosaur he could be related to is Sharptooth. I know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but your question actually caught me by surprise ;)
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Oh, no! Not Cera! I really hope she comes out okay :(.
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good point Serris I don't think I could ever imagine Grandma Longneck cursing out Mr. Threehorn, Grandpa Longneck would have a better chance of doing so, but it was kind of funny. :p
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Well at first I was going to have Grandpa Longneck cursing at Threehorn and then have Grandma stand up for him. However, like you said, Grandpa is more likely to such thing, so I wanted to do Grandma because it would have been a first for her. Like I said, she is so fed up with Threehorn at this point that it caused her to do something she wouldn't normally do.
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...wow. And so Cera makes the ultimate sacrifice...she really did care for Littlefoot. And it seems Chomper has quite a rebellious streak...at least while he's being held hostage anyway.
A great chapter and I can only guess at what's going to happen next.
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Will we be seeing an update anytime soon? This cliffhanger continues to bug me ;).
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Yes you will. Forgive me but college life here is very busy. I am working on the chapter as we speak so I hope to have it for you very soon. Thank you for sticking with me :D
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As promised, here is an update for Revenge II. I am nearing the end of the story so the next two or three chapters will be the last. Anyway, this isn't as long as the last two chapters and I'm not sure why that is so bear with me. I hope you guys enjoy this and please let me know what you think.
Chapter 11 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/12/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
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Aw, man! I despise cliffhangers. This has got me so far on edge :yes. I really hope Littlefoot and his pals will be okay, and hopefully so will Cera :(. Thanks for the much anticipated update, and I really hope we see the next update very soon ;).
Oh, and I could've busted my spleen at the part where Tria gets the final word :lol! You've gotta love scenes where Tria tells Mr. Threehorn off :nyah. He really should be ashamed of himself now for still acting like a total jerk. I really hope Tria changed his tune after that one :rolleyes:. She should give him the silent treatment 'til he finally breaks and realizes it's not cool to be an arrogant hothead :idea.
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Ohhh a cliffhanger! I like where this is going, and it seems Littlefoot has no fear, which is good as he'll need to focus in order to fight Sharptooths son. However I am rather worried that one of Littlefoots friends is going to try to interfere and get hurt. But I suppose I'l have to wait and see won't I? ;)
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I've been reading this fic from the start, and it's absolutely excellent. I love the way you introduce more mature elements while keeping the story somewhat true to LBT conventions. Not to mention the fight scenes and dialogue are works of art. :)
Still, there are a couple of things that I find a little... I dunno... weird.
-Are the characters the same age as in the films? I ask this because I'm hard pressed to believe that a few juvenile dinosaurs could take on an entire group of sharpteeth and win, stomping on their heads etcetera...
-I can see the reasons behind the gang wanting to kill Blacktail (he is a rather mean dinosaur), but I feel that the backstory you have provided for him is a little too sentimental and sad. I don't know about other readers, but reading Blacktail's father-son experiences with Sharptooth, and the latter's death scene from Blacktail's point of view, actually made me feel kind of sorry for him. Of course there's no excuse for kidnapping Littlefoot's friends and threatening to kill them, but the backstory makes me feel as if he doesn't deserve to die, and the gang's animosity towards him is misplaced.
Again, what Blacktail's doing is very evil, but as a villain I don't hate him, no matter how hard I try. Rinkus and Sierra were credible bad guys, but Blacktail... Hmmm. :confused
Anyways... I like where the story is going. Can't wait for the next chapter, keep writing... :smile
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Thanks a lot for the feedback^^! I'm having a lot of fun writing this fanfic and I'm glad you are enjoying it.
I understand why you think some of the things are a little bit weird so maybe I can shed some light on it for you.
1. I'm pretty sure the characters are a year older than from the first movie. I do realize that it would still be unlikely for them to take on sharpteeth, but like you said I wanted to add some more mature elements into LBT while keeping it true to the original material. One of the things I had visioned was that the gang was sick and tired of always running away from sharpteeth. This time when they see sharpteeth, mostly fast biters, they feel some uncontrollable adrenaline which causes them to feel able to fight them. Of course, if they were to encounter a larger sharptooth like Red Claw they would still run away, like they did in the first Revenge, but since the fast biters are closer to their size they feel more able to fight them. Hopefully that makes some sense, but if you're still a little odd I can understand.
2. With Blacktail, I wanted to make him more than just another standard villain. With Rinkus and Sierra, they are more credible as villains because you know virtually nothing about them but you hate what they do or attempt to do to Littlefoot and his friends. On the other hand, you know why Blacktail hates Littlefoot and his friends, so he's a much deeper and more developed villain. It causes the reader to be torn with whether or not to sympathize him or disregard his history with his father and hate him based on what he is doing in the present. Also, Blacktail still has some evil left in him that he hasn't shown yet, so when the next chapter comes around hopefully you will see what I mean.
Anyway, I hope this explains my reasoning behind why everything is the way it is in my story. You have any other questions you can ask me.
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Ah, I see. Thank you very much. :yes
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Also, Blacktail still has some evil left in him that he hasn't shown yet, so when the next chapter comes around hopefully you will see what I mean.
GAHHHH!
*Tosses popcorn and Pepsi meant to be munched on during the battle, makes a mad dash like this: :bolt, and hides under the blankets*
Now I'm really officially scared for Littlefoot and the others. Baaaad Blacktail :!!
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Just when Blacktail cannot get worse...
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Oh yeah, can you add in another "Charizard-style seismic toss" with a flyer? Like what Sierra did to Pterano in the first story.
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*Peeks out of blankets, and slowly comes out :lol*
Oh, and don't forget to have 'em fight dirty, kinda like Simba vs. Scar in TLK :yes. Aw, man I'm so on edge waitin' to see this battle :smile!
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:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:
I hate it when I do something very well and then people have awesome expectations from me because I always get afraid I'll let everybody down :DD :DD :DD :DD :DD :DD
I hope to make the last couple chapters to be epic, but I"m still deciding how to perfect them.
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No pressure needed to be felt, man. I was just adding my thoughts, that's all. You're the writer, and therefore the final word (no pun intended :p) is yours, and we readers just have to deal with it ;). This story is amazing thus far, BTW :yes. I can't wait to see what happens next :smile!
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I go through that a lot... every week I get told how awesome Far Away Home is so sometimes I write a chapter and think "dammit that one sucked compared to the last one..."
Keep this up I'm interested too.
Caustizer.
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Will we be seeing an update anytime soon :)? This cliffhanger's 'bout drivin' me bonkers :lol!
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UPDATE TIME!
First off I hope everybody's holidays were great. I know mine were. Of course, because of the holidays I have been very busy lately. I have tried to work on the next chapter to Revenge II as much as I can, so I have not forgotten it. I in advance apologize if the fight is not as epic as Pterano vs Sierra, but it's been kind of hard to come up with a good fight scene lately.
I will say this. Like I said before, two characters will die in the course of the next two chapters. However, I have not revealed this yet, but there will be some trouble brewing up back at the Great Valley with the adults. I won't say with who or what, but I hope for these couple chapters to be very suspensful.
I will try to finish this chapter as soon as possible because I know the cliff hangers kill people ;)
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Well after a long wait, Chapter 12 is finally up! I hope that the fight is dramatic enough for you guys. I tried to make the confrontation between the dinosaurs and Blacktail dark, kind of darker than the gang versus Sierra, so I'm sorry if the fight is not as epic as before.
Anyway, just follow the link below. I hope you guys enjoy, and let me know what you think :D
Chapter 12 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/13/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
EDIT: The link has been updated. It should work now
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Nice fight scene. It was pretty good but I will admit that it was not your best.
I liked how you made Mr. Threehorn a bit "grey" when it comes to the situation.
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It may have been a brief fight scene, but I'm still shaking from adrenaline :D. Gahhh! I really really really wanna see where this goes very soon (hopefully). I'm still awaiting word on Cera ;). Mr. Threehorn has definitely crossed the line now! I hope Bron really teaches him a lesson in humility <_<.
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Yeah I kind of knew the fight scene was not as good as before. I was thinking so hard as to how Blacktail and Littlefoot could fight, but it was kind of hard for me. It was definitely much easier in Revenge I with two flyers. Again, I was kind of going for the dramatic aspects of the confrontation, so that may have been at the cost of some epic fight time.
However, I will kind of spoil this now, but Bron and Threehorn are going to end up fighting as well, so I figured two fights towards the end of the story would make up for it, hopefully.
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Okay, I was thinking about this latest chapter today, and I thought since you're a Saw fan you'd like to hear this observation of mine: Scarbeak and Blacktail remind me of Jigsaw and Amanda Young. I thought about Blacktail going against Scarbeak's wishes (like one of Jigsaw's "Don't forget about the rules!" moments). Since Blacktail both betrayed Scarbeak AND murdered somebody (Rooter), the scene of Scarbeak taking out Blacktail reminded me of the end of Saw III, when Jigsaw knows Amanda Young is a killer (he hates killers) and arranges the game so she is killed as well. I'm not sure if I'm making one lick of sense or not :unsure:. I was listening to "Hello Zepp" (Saw's end theme) earlier, and I could see this playing from the time Blacktail threatens Ducky to the time Scarbeak drops Blacktail. Scarbeak should've said, "Game over!" :p.
Blacktail's blinding Littlefoot was inspired by my earlier post about the epic Simba vs. Scar battle in TLK, wasn't it ;)?
Mr. Threehorn possibly leaking information that is crucial to the safety of the valley :o?! He would never commit such an atrocity, would he :unsure:? That's the same as treason in our world, and I don't think the valley residents would take too kindly to treason either <_<. In any event, I hope Mr. Threehorn gets the a**-whoopin' he's been begging for in this story, along with a huge dose of humility as previously mentioned!
I think it would be interesting if the Gang does what they did in the original film when they thought Petrie was gone; only in this case it is Cera who is believed to be dead. They hold vigil for awhile, and as soon as they begin to leave, Cera shows up! Instead of Ducky being the most excited, Littlefoot should be the most excited one when they reunite :yes, if that is to happen :unsure:.
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Personally, I think Mr. Threehorn leaking information is a bit out-of-character for him. I wouldn't go as far as call him a sweet angel, but he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who would turn his back on his own home like that. No offense or anything.
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@Cancerian Tiger - I actually really like the observations you made. I kind of didn't think of it like that until you mentioned it. That would have been very funny if Scarbeak said "Game Over" at that moment. Maybe I will consider it for later use?
Yes, the part where Blacktail blinded Littlefoot was inspired by your mention of the Lion King. I figured you would like that ;)
@ both Cancerian Tiger and Kacie - The whole controversy around Threehorn will be explained and brought out in the next chapter. You'll just have to wait and see what happens :D
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It's getting down to the wire. Chapter 13 is up, and some questions will be answered. Hope you guys enjoy the little fight between Bron and Mr. Threehorn as well as how certain events play out involving Littlefoot, the gang, and Blacktail.
Let me know what you think :D
Chapter 13 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/14/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
EDIT: The link has been updated. It should work now!
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The link doesn't work for me and neither did the last one. It's because you seem to be linking to the chapter preview, something only you can see. If someone else clicks the link, there's a "login required" page that shows up.
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I noticed the same problem with the links given.
As for the chapter, Mr. Threehorn has his work cut out for him. Jeez, it's much faster to lose one's reputation than it is for them to gain it back. He's got a lot of homework to do :blink:. Funny how Tria told him off yet again :lol. I guess even the most sweet-natured folks get pissed off at him sooner or later. Just look at how Ducky and Spike's mother screamed at him in LBT VII :p. Never saw that comin'.
I'm glad to see Cera's back safe and sound :D. Poor Rooter, though. I liked how what he had said to Littlefoot in the original film was used again in this chapter. It was sad and powerful at the same time. It'll be interesting to see how the final chapter goes :yes.
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Oh whoops :lol:
I'll update the links so they work. Sorry bout that. Thanks for letting me know.
I really did want to use a lot of references to the first movie in this one, and I felt that Rooter's speech from the first movie was perfect for this scene, so I'm glad you liked it ;) .
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Well I've done it. I have successfully completed Revenge II. The final chapter is not as long as the previous one, but I feel that is ties things up pretty well. So please follow the link below to the final chapter in the story, enjoy it, let me know whether or not the ending was good enough, and also let me know how Revenge II compares to the original? Is it better, worse, on par? Let me know what you think, and thank you all for patiently waiting for me to finish the story.
Chapter 14 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4690867/15/Land_Before_Time_Revenge_II)
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Personally I felt disappointed with the final chapter. It didn't feel like there was much of a closure with the Topsy/Bron incident. I was half-expecting a scene, even if just briefly, of Topsy contemplating what he did, perhaps even realize he was wrong. Maybe that would have felt too cliched, but considering how big an impact Topsy's actions had in the story (at least in the section of the Great Valley), I couldn't help but feel the situation between him and Bron was left unfinished, incomplete. But that's just my opinion.
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I felt the same way about the whole Mr. Threehorn/Bron stink not being resolved. I'm sure it's for the purpose of Revenge III, but I think this should've been resolved already. Any conflicts in Revenge I were resolved by the time the story was concluded, and I felt the same should've been done with Revenge II, even if this meant an additional chapter. That's just my style of writing, though. I like to resolve conflicts in stoies I write before I conclude them :yes.
A positive note: The very ending was sweet ;).
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The ending was heartwarming but a little underwhelming. You left the Bron/Threehorn debacle untouched.
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Holy s***. How did I forget about that? I had every intention of including such scene in the final chapter, so I have no idea why I didn't. If you will bear with me just a little bit, I will certainly go back and add such scene into the final chapter.
Thank you guys for pointing that out to me. I can't believe I forgot about it.
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Ok guys. I edited the final chapter to include the scene I intended on having. I simply have no idea how I forgot to put this in there in the first place. Thank you guys for pointing this out to me. Please if you have the time, go back and read the last chapter, at least for the part I added in, and let me know what you think. Just follow the same link on the previous page. It will take you to the edited chapter.
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The updated version is MUCH better.
Also, I liked the "two faces of Pterano" that Scarbeak mentioned.
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This fanfiction has been nominated by its author to be rated for the fanfiction awards 2011. To all the readers and fans of this fanfiction, please rate and review (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9467) it! :)