The Gang of Five

The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 01:21:00 AM

Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 01:21:00 AM: this is a start for my new fanfic.....

If you want to find out more read the story!!! :lol
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 01:27:44 AM: here it is
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 01:27:54 AM: -----
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 01:39:41 AM: ---
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 01:50:25 AM: the rest is on its way!!!
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: Nick22 on March 19, 2009, 02:02:47 AM: just a few points. When swearing, use (expletive) instead of the word. Next, when you've already posted part 1 there's no need to post part 1 again whe posting part 2..its redindant.. other that thats its not bad for your first go around. try and build up tension though with your posts..
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 02:45:17 AM: ---
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 02:53:12 AM: ---
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 02:55:49 AM: i'll start working on my next story soon!!!

hope you liked the story

and yes i no there lots of spelling errors in the story

thanks for reading my fanfic!!! :lol: :DD :lol:
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 03:34:05 AM: ---
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 03:38:36 AM: ---
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 03:53:50 AM: ---
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 04:23:38 AM: ---
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: Serris on March 19, 2009, 04:18:59 PM: I have to admit the plot can be very workable but please work on your grammar and spelling. Also, don't use ellipses so much. Your story was almost unreadable.

Also, your story went by far too fast to build up any tension.
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: f-22 "raptor" ace on March 19, 2009, 04:24:05 PM: That fanfic was alright.
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 05:08:47 PM: soz about my fanfic it was similar to a dream i had when i was younger
(it was based on my dream)
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: NeoGenesis005 on March 19, 2009, 07:15:12 PM: :lol who would have thought a Jet would fall from the Sky :lol Nice one.
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: metadude1234 on March 19, 2009, 07:19:13 PM: Quote from: NeoGenesis005,Mar 19 2009 on 06:15 PM
:lol who would have thought a Jet would fall from the Sky :lol Nice one.
it was just part of the plot where a Defence force pilot goes back in time to stop the future from crumbling and going into chaos......

we all know how that turned out :lol

(he died)
Title: The Land Before Time: The Unthinkable
Post by: f-22 "raptor" ace on March 19, 2009, 11:51:15 PM: Just a quick note fighter pilots are in a lot of air forces are officers.