The Gang of Five
Beyond the Mysterious Beyond => The Fridge => Topic started by: Karmarsi on October 22, 2010, 04:27:29 PM
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First I'd like to apologize about not being on...
I've officially found that my family hates me. They find me the fault-doer, the hated one, the mistakes. They don't feel for my feelings at all or anything. but that's just the start.
My mother expects me to be perfect for one. She wants me to be thin, be popular with many ( appearently hollow ) friends. She wants me to be a cheerleader, be in all sports she wanted, etc. She goes very often "why can't you be like my friends child you stupid bitch?!". At least I didn't have a child at 15 or 16 and be abused b the dad...
She's always making me do everything, she won't move a musclefromwhen she wakes to when she sleeps. She just yells and abuses. She expect me to be a slave.
"Open the door windows, open the windows, get me a drink, reinstall ESET, clear my cookies, get the mail, give me money" etc etc. She even expect me to marry a blue eyed, brown hailed, rich man. she's positively racist along with all of my family and wants to pick who for me to marry. She calls my bet friends filthy and calls me... well not good terms where women sell themselves.
My sister, who is 10, is much the same. She'll bite, punch, yell, kick, cuss and rip and tear at me. I live in costant fear and sadness because of it. I don't even have my own things - She's always stealing them and trying to claim my hamster ( poor nugget ) as her own while I bought one for her. ( surprised the poor guy isn't dead yet ). She always screamed demanding things such as to make a frozen computer unfreeze and to make her food and such.
And my fiance and I are still troubling to find an apartment. We've been trying for a couple years but no luck. No one will really help, one who tried ( he won the lottery in his country twice ) couldn't because he's not yet 18. It saddens me because each day that passes lets me know it's one less day with him. It's really tough not being there snuggled to him, having fun, laughing and playing and enjoying our days away until we are in heaven together... Hope I won't fall through a cloud
I'm also starting to hate my drawing abilities. My character isn't well known nor is my art and it makes me want to drop it all. all in all I feel I'm no used to many people. Guess I just need people to talk to
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I wish I could be of help. This sounds really bad :(
Of all the luck I had in my life I think having a loving, caring, and supportive family (notwithstanding my parent's divorce) has probably been the greatest. What little advise I can give is not to let yourself be talked into thinking of yourself the way they do.
What other influences have there been in your life if you think your family is racist? Who has been important for you to develop your personal consciousness and view of the world?
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I wish I could be of help. This sounds really bad :(
Of all the luck I had in my life I think having a loving, caring, and supportive family (notwithstanding my parent's divorce) has probably been the greatest. What little advise I can give is not to let yourself be talked into thinking of yourself the way they do.
What other influences have there been in your life if you think your family is racist? Who has been important for you to develop your personal consciousness and view of the world?
I don't think I understand the question, friend.
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If my mom was ever like that, or called me a bit**, I would report her for child abuse, especially since she is getting physical with you, atleast that is what it sounded like. No offense, but from what I read, it sounds like she dosen't care for you very much, which is what a mother should do.
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I'm sorry for you Karmarsi! I honestly wish I could be of some help at least. I can say one thing though, your drawings are really good. Even if they are not well known, you should not stop doing something you enjoy. You don't make art for others, but for yourself.
The way your mother and sister talk to you frightens me as well. I hope it is not that way 24/7? I've been through a pretty bad period with my dad a couple of years back, and I remember finding it horrible. If they are talking your down, make sure to always remember you're more than that. Be glad that you're not as skinny as some others, that you're not a dumb cheerleader who gets pregnant at 16. Honestly, you've got all the right to be proud of yourself! If your mother is really disliking you for not becoming who she wants you to be, she should perhaps listen to the quote 'children are not colouring books, you cannot colour them with your favourite colours'.
I hope I can do something for you.. If you ever feel the need to talk, you can always send me a pm or an email.
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Kar, Malte was asking if you had a positive influence anywhere in your life, anyone who can see the good inside of you, regardless of what your family is telling you. I don't know how old you are, but by the sound of it, you're not over 18 otherwise you'd leave your family in a heartbeat and try to make something work with people who care. Are there any social services in your area who can provide support to you or your family?
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I'm afraid my mere text can't help you, but if you want to feel a bit better you should listen to this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vhgxKxcuKI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vhgxKxcuKI)
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At nineteen years old, I wouldn't have put up with that s*** <_<. Since I don't like to tell others what to do, here's what I'd do if I were in the same situation:
Land two full-time jobs or at least one full-time job and one part-time job, find my own place by myself or with a trustworthy mentor, and tell those jerks to screw off. Blood-related or not, if the family won't show ya the love and respect that ya very much deserve, they don't deserve your time and attention until they can get their act together and behave like true loving family members.
I know what it's like to have problems with relatives. Your mother sounds like the father I have a nonexistent relationship with, and in the last few years I've had a strained relationship with my sister as well. She acts just like our father :neutral. Both of them think they're better than everybody else and do not hesitate to insult me, talk to me like I'm an idiot, and even do the "Why can't you do this?" or "Why can't you do that?" talk :rolleyes, and it took me until I was an adult to finally stop 'em in their tracks.
So, like Iris said, I'm here to talk if ya ever need to. Just PM me ;).
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Ah. The only one I really have now is my fiance. He tells me of the good things of me and how things will change once he has and partment and comes to get me. ( Also, I'm over 18, I'm 19 )
Sadly it is 24 / 7, or close to it with it only ending during before and during bed. But sometimes they haunt my dreams.
I'd truly would get a job but my mother refuses to let me. She thinks I'm too stupid. She thinks I won't make it through college. At least I graduated high school, she didn't.
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Why is she so mean to you? Why would she call you stupid when she's the one that failed high school? :anger
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You may not have a job? That's pure bs. Do you have a car or some way to get to a job in case you had a job? Just go for it and tell your mom to go away. It wouldn't hardly be fair if you couldn't even have the chance to take care of your own.
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At this point, being homeless would be a better choice for you. At least then you won't have to put up with them.
And have you tried calling the police or does your "daughter of a b******" mother (Pardon my language, but I have ZERO sympathy Karmarsi's so called "Mother" right now.) have them around her finger as well? If so, then that's a problem because she can make you look like the bad guy in the end.
Maybe your fiance can help. Does he have any relatives that you can live with for the time being? Surely any one of them would be better than the pricks you're living with.
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At this point, being homeless would be a better choice for you. At least then you won't have to put up with them.
And have you tried calling the police or does your "daughter of a b******" mother (Pardon my language, but I have ZERO sympathy Karmarsi's so called "Mother" right now.) have them around her finger as well? If so, then that's a problem because she can make you look like the bad guy in the end.
Maybe your fiance can help. Does he have any relatives that you can live with for the time being? Surely any one of them would be better than the pricks you're living with.
We've tried. His mom and dad said yes then changed their mind when the date came up, then his aunt offered and changed her mind as well.
I have no car, I don't got a license or anything. My mother does manage to twist things as if i done it when she talks to the family. Anyone remotely on my side is my grandmother, but I refuse to get her into this, I care for her too much
My mother hates me because I turned out nothing like she wanted. Thin ( ok so I'm a lil tubby, I don't got a sagging belly, heck I got a firm but and a big bust and hips >.> maybe she's jealous? ), popular, into sports ( she forced me into softball for most of my life ), etc etc. She wants me to be like her friend's daughter.
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I would try and find a college , since you deserve to see how far your talents can take you. It is clear that your parents are not the loving supporting type. if I was in your situation, i'd move out at the soonest opportunity, and let fate guide me from there.. Normally, I'd say that family is one of the few things you can count on, but in your case Karmarsi, this is not the case. once you leave, you should not look back..
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..I am not very good at this...advice and sympathy has never really been good..but karmarsi..you need to try to find a way to get out of this home. If you could live with your fiance and his family that may be an option.
Also, try not to think of your sister harshly just yet...siblings are often strange when their older sibling is subjected to a lot of problems by their mother or father (I have (had) a similar situation with my own mother who for many years called me a ''pyscho'', ''spaz'', ''freak'' quite daily, although she is a little better now), they tend to try to get on the parental ''side'' so they are ''safe'' from them...(sister did the same until she also became on the receiving end).
I am not saying that may be the case with your own sibling...I could be wrong..she could be a nasty individual but because she is ten years old..I do not think that is the case.
Sorry, i do not know what else to say except your mother should be grateful that you are your own person and not a clone of others, that you haven't gotten pregnant at an early age, that you've completed your education and are on a higher form, that you are healthy. She should be glad for the daughter that she has got and not for the one that she wishes for. For that, she is pathetic and like many other mothers who do this, will always be sad and lonely individuals for the rest of their lives whilst you will be a happy and popular individual.
Unfortuantely i do not take my advice when I say this sort of thing given that I have (had) been in a similar situation with my own mother but remember there is always a path of light ahead. It may seem far and often times impossible but do not allow the darkness of your mother's abuse (and your sister's subsequent copy abuse) to get to you that much. It is really hard and it is hard to break out of the long effects but there is always some form of hope and happiness as a reward at the end.
Yeah, that didn't help much. Other's will be better at giving advice and I highly suggest you to consider it and try to aim towards it. Good luck.
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I’m not very confident in my abilities to offer advice and comfort, but darn it all if I’m not going to try.
First of all, I’m so sorry about the way your family is treating you. :( Your mother has no right to choose what you can and can’t do. You’re going to have to be self-sufficient someday, and it’s your mother who’s stupid if she’s trying to prevent that.
Your mother should stop bemoaning the daughter she wished she had and be proud of the one she’s got. She sounds to me like a selfish, abusive, ungrateful, hypocritical control freak who doesn’t deserve to be the mother of such a wonderful person. :anger I don’t expect that I’ll ever be a parent, but if I were, I would much rather have a child who was kind, sensitive, and artistically talented than one who was thin, shallow, and excelled at sports. :-_-:
I also think it’s wonderful that you’ve found a “soul mate” who loves you and makes you happy, and with whom you are obviously deeply in love with. Don’t let your mother ruin that either.
Finally, PLEASE do not think badly of your drawing skills. You are an amazing artist (honestly, I wish I had your talent), and you should not give up making artwork. I still hope to see you create some LBT fanart. :yes
I wish you the best in finding a job, getting into college, escaping and/or standing up to your mother and sister’s abuse, finding a place to live, and improving your self-esteem. I hope your life gets better overall very soon. And if you need an outlet for your stress, or just someone to talk to, my PM box is open anytime as well. :)
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They disrespected you, so you disrespected them. Get. Out. And STAY out. Heck, when you marry your fiance, move out of state if you can and don't share the information. Don't even tell them when you have a kid because they DON'T deserve it. Heck, college will be a really good route to slapping them hard in the face...then kicking them. Don't think colleges will take you because your mom wasn't in college? Pfff. Colleges LOVE kids who are first-gen college students!
Have you ever tried talking to your mother? I can imagine she would have been a total *insert lots of interrogatory stuff here* if you did. You have GOT to tell her that YOU run your own life and not her.
In the mean time, report her to child services for goodness sake!
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I have tried to talk to her but she's in denial. Each time I cry from pain she calls me immature and believes I'm just pmsing. I must be 24/7 then. She believes my art will get me nowhere sadly, and rather would want to just force me into softball ( man the leg power I got from that. ) I got near a 3.0 average on the grading scale ( out of 4.0 ) and she still believes I'm low in the list of being picked. she won't even help me find a vet tech college. She wants to force me to be a nurse.
I do plan to not let her around my children. I plan to be nothing like her. I won't be abuse, I'll love and try to help my children. Walter and I have already chosen names for our children when we have a family. Rose and Jake plan to be the names of the sweet things. We are moving to NJ, we're looking for places there. Most of his family lives there and we adore each other. I was planning on inviting my mom to the wedding, but now I dunno. she does have the other "perfect" daughter ( who's worse than me. Getting in trouble every day at school and stuff ).
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My Advice karmarsi is to go to college anyway, and do what you want to do. A 3.0 should be good enough to get you into a good college. Your art is very good, you should keep doing it. It may not be a career when all is said and done, but as long as you enjoy it, you should keep doing it. You do not have to be a nurse if you don't want to.. I'd suggest you stay with his family for awhile, and talk to them about colleges you could attend..
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Yeah, I kinda know how that feels. I had a 3.5 GPA in high school, and my father would always get on my case about not having a 4.0 and then brag about himself having a 4.0 in high school. Difference is, he was too lazy to go to college. Ironically, he told me I was too stupid for college. Distortion at its best :bang.
Then, when I started college, I was going for nursing. I changed my mind after a year and changed my major, and he still tried to get me to be a surgeon. A brain surgeon, at that. He had tried to talk me into it for years even though I told him every time it's not what I wanted for myself. He didn't have any say in the path I chose for myself. I worked full-time all throughout college and supported my education. On top of that, he never once supported me throughout pre-school through high school (he almost didn't even come to my graduation but the family made him come), so he had no right to tell me what to do with my life and he knew it :neutral.
I think he just wanted me to be some unemployed housewife and never make anything of myself. I don't think he could accept that I'm a progressive, career-oriented, nonstereotypical female. I see this in how he supports my sister who gave up her dreams of college (she dreamed of being a civil engineer) for a guy who went to school but discouraged her from doing so. She spends all day cleaning house and doing "housewife duties" and he comes home from work and sits his lazy a** down and expects her to wait on him <_<. On top of that, they have a baby now and he's even too lazy to help out with the baby half the time. The more I hear about it, the happier I am I chose my own path. Believe me, it's worth going against your doubters/haters just to prove 'em wrong ;).
As for the whole 3.0 thing, a great place to start is at a community college. This is a way to build up a higher GPA to get into universities. There are community colleges allover the place it seems, and I'm sure they've got plenty in NJ. It's cheaper, and depending on your intended field of study, there could be lots of grants and scholarships. If your fiance and yourself are trying to get on your feet and find a place to settle down and have to worry about finances and seeking employment, a community college can work in your favor. Then, if ya feel like it, there's always the option of transferring your credits to a university. Just ask the academic advisor for a list of courses and credits that qualify to transfer to whatever university you'd like to attend.
I hope this advice helps :).
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I'm really sorry to hear that your family is giving you such a hard time Karmarsi. As much as we don't like to hear about it, abuse from family members does happen to some unfortunately.
Again, like everyone else, all I can do from here is offer advice that hopefully you feel you can carry out at some point.
Firstly, if your mother is that hateful, you need to relocate. And by that, you should be of the age whereby you do not need her consent. Don't bother asking her coz all she'll do is throw negativities your way. Why tug that baited hook when you know there's nothing but trouble on the other end? If you know this is the case, what's the point in going back to that source when you've already tried and been rejected. At the age you are now, you are able to carry out your own wishes and you don't need anyone's say so. You are your own person. I won't pretend to sugar coat it but moving out with very little in the way of money or savings is hard. That being said, the way your mother acts towards you and the abuse she's been inflicting on you should be more than enough drive to want to be away from it. You don't deserve any of it so why suffer when, believe it or not, you have the power to do something about it. Your mother's nay-says and negative vibes will make you doubt yourself which is only natural if that's the only interaction you've had with people who are supposed to be your first role models in life. The first step is to reject those comments and be able to see yourself in a more positive light. It's not easy but if you can give yourself that self-confidence, no one can stop you.
A friend of mine was in a very similar situation to yours. She was physically and verbally abused from a young age by her family. It was terrible for her that sometimes I would get phonecalls from her at random hours of the morning about how she'd run away and was wandering the streets. I found some of the most bizarre ways to get out to see her and (as much as I hated to say it to her) convinced her to go back home. She was only about 15 then. I wish I could have taken her away from it all but being only a few years older and living with folks myself, there wasn't anything I could do. Eventually, when she turned 18, she left her family and managed to get a flat after a few months living in a hostel. It was tough graft for her but her determination to refuse to be abused for no reason drove her to taking steps to leading her own life. I must admit I haven't heard from her in a while but if there ever was anything wrong I know she'd let me know. Therefore I'm taking it as "no news is good news".
Anecdote aside, the first thing you need to do is get out of there. You'll never shine as a person with such a dark cloud hanging over you. You and your fiancee should plan together, away from your abusive mother. It probably won't happen straight away but it will give you something positive to aim towards. I'm sure the pair of you could do it if you seriously think about what you can do about jobs and where you can go. It is a shred of hope you can look to. Above all, just stop relaying these kind of plans via your mother coz you know exactly what she'll do. Don't play into her game. No one should have to turn their back on their own family but if they have made their decision then it is time for you to make yours. You don't intend to live there for ever so why not make a start on shipping out now? Especially if you have someone faithful to stand by you. I'll bet your fiancee is a true ray of light in your life right about now eh? That's something to start on. A step in the right direction. Someone who can see the good in you. It shows the affection your mother probably never displayed to you.
Take it in small advances. If you really want this to stop, take the actions you know you can manage. Don't discuss them with your mother if you know that she'll just shoot them down everytime. Don't give her the satisfaction. Her grip on you will lessen the more you take steps towards engaging your own future. Maybe then, once you have escaped her abuse, she may then see the error of her ways and finally realise just how bad she had treated you.
I hope that helps. It pains me to hear when someone is being subjected to such cruelty that is not deserved. I can only hope that things work out for you. All the best and good luck Karmarsi! ;)
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I wouldn't call them 'family' anymore if they treat you like that...
So, your so called 'mother' wants you to be like her friends daughter?
Sounds more like a competition to 'who's daughter is better' to me. That's pretty low...
Don't be afraid to go to college. You can definitely get a good spot to study. =)
And don't even think about giving up drawing while I'm here! I've seen your stuff and they are really good! Just keep drawing. ;)
We all hope your misery will end soon!
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Hello:
I agree with Littlefoot1616 and Sky, and as an addition, I can say that no matter what they say, you are far better than all of them combined, so do not let them to discourage you for anything and always keep advancing. I think the solutions given here are the best option, so if you chose to take that path, I say that you should really do it, because if you remain there, then you'll only receive more damage.
I really gope things will get the best turn for you.
Keep it up!
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I'd gladly live with Walter's family, is they would allow it. They say they don't have enough room for me.
As for college I have the 21st century scholarship, where it pays for full for 4 years of college. My vet tech career takes 2-4 years So I think I might be good on that.
I been thinkin of going to a hotel to stay. We have 3 of them a bit away from my house ( just go straight after turning left off the road ). And there are many restaurants and stores very close to the hotels. A easy walk for me ( we got the mall, walmart, kmart, kroger, animal stores ( <3333 ), a few gas stations, restaurants like olive garden and mcdonalds ). In Nj there is a vet tech school next to his family's home actually which is convientant
I must say I dislike how the father expected you to be a stay at home wife. I plan on being a house caring wife with a job. Kind of a mix. I'll bring home money and pamper my hubby. We want to be a classic family, a nice quiet home, 2 or 3 kids, and a lil bulldog named Chunky~
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Definitely go for that. A hotel might be expensive in the long run, so I hope you find an apartment soon!
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I do hope things work out for you, though it is hard going now. Good luck. Sounds like you do have some plans, though staying at a hotel sounds expensive.
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I'd gladly live with Walter's family, is they would allow it. They say they don't have enough room for me.
Do they know about how badly your own “family” is treating you? You wouldn't want to make them think you're trying to guilt-trip them or anything, but if they care about you and aren't so short on space that it would be impossible for them to accommodate you, they might be more sympathetic for your need to escape your current home, and provide you with sanctuary just until you can find an apartment. During that time, perhaps you could “pay rent” by helping out around the house, running errands, etc., and paying for your own food and other resources once you get a job. Basically contribute as much as possible to minimize whatever strain you would put on your fiancÈ's family.
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I'd gladly live with Walter's family, is they would allow it. They say they don't have enough room for me.
Do they know about how badly your own “family” is treating you? You wouldn't want to make them think you're trying to guilt-trip them or anything, but if they care about you and aren't so short on space that it would be impossible for them to accommodate you, they might be more sympathetic for your need to escape your current home, and provide you with sanctuary just until you can find an apartment. During that time, perhaps you could “pay rent” by helping out around the house, running errands, etc., and paying for your own food and other resources once you get a job. Basically contribute as much as possible to minimize whatever strain you would put on your fiancÈ's family.
They know about it all. Walter has tried to talk to them and they said yes at first but changed their mind as soon as the time came that we wanted. They know I was gonna get a job and help pay for everything but they still wouldn't allow it...
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you should get away from your wretched mother Karmarsi,hope your Fiance's family accepts you. :)
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They do accept me, they love me. They just won't let me stay with em.
New fact - I'm terribly sick ( sore throat, heat flashes, coughing up stuff ), for days and mom doesn't believe I'm sick.
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May sound mean, but cough right into her face and she'll figure out.
Hope you feel better soon! Stay warm!
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see if there's a hotel close to where they live that you can stay for awhile.. you need to get away from your mother that's for sure..
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New fact - I'm terribly sick ( sore throat, heat flashes, coughing up stuff ), for days and mom doesn't believe I'm sick.
She dosen't believe you! Dose she have some kind of problem? If you look sick, then you probaly are sick. Hope you get better soon.
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She doesn't believe m on anything really. She thinks everythings a lie.
I wanna know guys - why is it wrong to be jeaous and worryful? I get jealous easily when my fiance hangs around a girl, if its at work, out or whatever ( many girls around try to throw themselves at a engaged man ), and I worry about it. But he seems to want me to stop. Why is it so bad?
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I think there's a certain portion of that,that is natural.. hes your fiance and you don;'t want someone else muddying the picture. but on the whole, you have to have trust in your partner that he will not stray or be enticed to do so. unfortunately in our society, relationships are a flip of a coin, you have as good a chance of the relationship failing as succeeding, because about half of all marriages end in divorce. you guys aren't married yet, but those are the odds.v as for your mom, well I suspect that once you leave, you're going to break ties with her anyway, so it matters little what she thinks.
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It's quite natural to feel this way. You love him and you don't want anyone else to take him away from you. It's a perfectly natural thing of love. However, you must trust him enough to make the decision on his own. Other people trying to turn on the one you love is a part of life and one of the biggest tests of a defying relationship. Letting him make the right decision when these things happen is one of the best things you can do for your relationship.
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I've never been in a relationship (and probably never will be), but I second what Nick and pokeplayer have said. Trust is a very important part of a relationship; if he trusts you not to cheat on him, you should trust him to be faithful to you. Friction between yourself and your fiancÈ is the last thing you want right now.
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Of course I trust him, he's very trustworthy. He's never lied to me or me anything. I believe I'm naturally jealous since I'm not exactly too nice to look at,so I guess it's pinpointed at my unconfidence due to mom again ( thank you for calling me names all my life >.> )
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Trust is the most important part of a relationship. If you have any problems with your fiance, you should talk to him about them and work them out. sometimes they may be conversations you'd rather not have, but it'll be worth it to get the problem dealt with. In my relationship, my girlfriend and I tell each other everything, no secrets, so we've managed to work through several problems that would have sunk an ordinary relationship.
Also, don't worry about your artwork not being well known; that's because you're new. In fact, for someone whose only a month old, you've collected a surprising amount of fans of your work, especially for someone who hasn't drawn LBT characters. Just keep doing what you love and posting it so people can see, maybe draw some scenes from other people's fanfictions (the writers always appreciate that), and you'll become as well known as Sky or WeisellEdwards :)
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Trust is the most important part of a relationship. If you have any problems with your fiance, you should talk to him about them and work them out. sometimes they may be conversations you'd rather not have, but it'll be worth it to get the problem dealt with. In my relationship, my girlfriend and I tell each other everything, no secrets, so we've managed to work through several problems that would have sunk an ordinary relationship.
Also, don't worry about your artwork not being well known; that's because you're new. In fact, for someone whose only a month old, you've collected a surprising amount of fans of your work, especially for someone who hasn't drawn LBT characters. Just keep doing what you love and posting it so people can see, maybe draw some scenes from other people's fanfictions (the writers always appreciate that), and you'll become as well known as Sky or WeisellEdwards :)
We do talk about everything to each other. Literally everything, nothings a secret for us.
And my art s not just here, I been on deviantart nearly 3 years and not many seem to look, nor glimpse, at it.
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And my art s not just here, I been on deviantart nearly 3 years and not many seem to look, nor glimpse, at it.
Hey, I've been on dA for almost four years now and you have already more deviations and views than I do. :)
So don't worry about people not looking at your work. ;)
Besides, views are not the most important things of being an artist. The joy drawing art is! :DD
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Yeah you got way more views than I do too and I'm on DA for at least 2 years, probably 2.5... Really you're not doing that bad! :o Don't drag yourself down, girl. Not worth it!
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Of course I trust him, he's very trustworthy. He's never lied to me or me anything. I believe I'm naturally jealous since I'm not exactly too nice to look at,so I guess it's pinpointed at my unconfidence due to mom again ( thank you for calling me names all my life >.> )
At the risk of invoking a clichÈ, I'd say that if he really loves you, and if you're as close as you say, then your looks shouldn't matter much to him. And it seems to me that you have plenty of qualities to make you appealing to him: your kindness, your affectionateness, your openmindedness, your honesty, your artistic talent, your creativity, and so on. :yes Still, I know WAY too well how it feels to be insecure; it's not an easy thing to overcome. :neutral
And honestly, your artwork is amazing. Like I said before, I'm not a Sonic fan, so for me to give you feedback on your art would be like a lion asking a shark what kind of antelope it thinks is the tastiest (I can appreciate the medium, but have no experience with the subject on which to form an opinion), but if and when you make some LBT fanart, I can guarantee you a fan and a consistent reviewer. :yes
Speaking of art, I noticed that in your DA journal you expressed disappointment that no one else on DeviantArt made you any birthday artwork. If it would make you feel any better during this difficult (to make an understatement) time you're going through, would you like me to draw you something like a belated star day and/or sympathy card? :)
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Being controlled and hated by the society I can understand your frustration. It hurts when who was meant to be your closest turns their back and decide to accept their own believes that you cannot change and be better.
Never forget this feelings out live them as revenge. Live better and never contact this people again, if those people die, rejoice burn their gravestones they never deserved you and have attempted to ruin you.
Be strong and brainstorm, find opportunities and live better, when you are able to do that than it is time for revenge make sure they know you are living better than them. Make sure you have accomplished more than them. Put them down like they did to you and let them feel the pain.
When they get desperate or sorrowful ask them to beg in the storms make sure they fall sick, get your case to the media and your experiences and your revenge is complete.
Unlatch the gate which has cast you to the underground of your social society and show them your hate, only then can change be inevitable.
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Um…No offense, Paradise Bird, but personally I don’t think that most of what you said is very good advice. If you were to find a person who had wronged you in the same position that you had once been in, and made them suffer just so they could know what it was like for you, what would make you any better than them?
You definitely have the right idea that Karmarsi should sever all contact with her mother after she is able to move out, but she should not go to the trouble of ruining her mother’s life just to get back at her. Holding on to the bad emotions that her mother caused her would only prolong the pain. Better to just move ahead with your life; learn from the past, but otherwise put it behind you.
This pertains to your own problems as well, PB: don't obsess over getting back at the people who were cruel to you; just move on with your life and avoid making the same mistakes they did. I wish you the best of luck. :yes
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Pangaea is right, on both count. Revenge dioes nothing in the end. Karmarsi, you must make a permanent break with your mother, as soon as possible. It will be a blessing for you if you do so..PB, once you are out of Singapore, things should improve for you. I would suggest coming to America, but i don't know if thats possibkle financially for you.