The Gang of Five
The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: Bongo on January 24, 2011, 12:32:52 AM
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For some information on me, please read My Bio in the "I'm New" Section (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=8845)
Look, I may of just joined a few days ago doesn't mean i can't write good FanFiction. I originally planned to upload this on FanFiction.net, but right now it is being a donkey to me :p , so while I continue writing my fanfiction and waiting for FanFiction to stop being a donkey to me, I decided to give you guys a sample of the first two and a half chapters.
UPDATE 1/24/2011: I will most likely NOT use FanFiction.net anymore because I feel that posting here will make me closer to the viewer. Its like being the president. Being closer and knowing your people better will make a better relationship thus a better outcome
DISCLAIMER:
This Story you are about to read is rated PG for some violent scenes and a minor use of profanity.
KEY ISSUE SOME MAY HAVE:
- Its a bit long for a preview, so I do NOT accept the excuse of TL;DR (Too Long;Didn't Read)
- I have not seen a LBT sequal in YEARS, so some things may not match the sequals. If you notice a mistake, PLEASE tell me so I can fix it!
- I am not sure if many care or not, but just as a side note, the story has human(s) in it. Now to be fair, I only place ONE human in the Great Valley
- The Begining and parts of the main plot contain Sci-Fi. If you think that Sci-Fi doesn't belong in the LBT, then don't flame me. Just kindly go to another FanFiction
- Sorry guys. Strange. For a LBT FanFiction, there is not a lot of LBT shows :lol . In an all serious note, that is because I just want you guys to get the feel of my story and writing. I may update this place with more chapters before I permenantly switch to FanFiction.net. So just be patience is key here. You will get the rest of the gang soon!
ONE FINAL NOTE:
This story you are about to read was typed up in Microsoft Word, and I just copy/paste the words from Word to Forum, so there may be some issues and I do not have the time to go over them. I may fix them in the future however. Like for example, this forum doesn't have the option of centering, so please bare with me here, ok :DD
So please sit back, relax, and enjoy my wonderfully detailed story on ME and the LBT :goodluck
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[align=center]NOTE
This story will contain both human and dinosaur talk. Luckily for you viewers, the dinosaur talk will be pre-translated for your enjoyment. The dinosaur and human scenes will either be separated by a line of “~~~”s or be “Written in italics when a human is talking” when a dinosaur is present, just so I don’t confuse you guys with who is talking in a scene. Trust me, it can get confusing when we get later in the chapters.
BACKSTORY
The Year is 3068. The dominant Earth creature, known as homo sapiens, also known as Man, or Mankind, has progressed far in the arts of science and has perfected every corner stone and crack of it (Of course, taking place in the future, humans advancing far into science is a very overused clichÈ). Unfortunately, progressing so far into the future has had to have its side effects; the once green and flourishing Planet Earth is now a barren wasteland.
Due to the side effects of the science experiments, it caused the Earth to slowly rot away. As a last minute resort to save the human race, all of Earth’s Nations united together under the name Sol United, created a huge spaceship. Large enough to hold the genetics of animals, plants, samples of the Earth’s elements, history of Earth, and enough room for equipment, everyday necessities, and enough room to house the entire world population. This spaceship has been named A.R.K; Airship Resolution Kinetic. The A.R.K. made it maiden and only voyage off of earth in the year of 2237.
The Ship, thanks to its self-sustaining life system on board, was able to keep the human race in tact without any side effects of previous long term space travel expeditions. The ship had residential sections, recreational sections, and commerce sections. It had a military force, a police force, and a science force. It was just like a huge cruise ship in space. There was one section of the space ship, however, that was one section of the ship that was blocked off from the rest of the ship. It contained the genetics, samples, and history of Earth in its bowels.
Sol United had, under oath and a treaty, said that this section of the ship shall not be opened, with the exception of the Historical Archives section, which has to be updated daily. Once another hospitable planet has been found, the entire section of the ship would open up. Then, I think we all know what would happen, we would spread our species of fauna and flora onto the planet and reestablish the United Nations and the other countries as well and restart the Human race again. (So I copied the Pixar Wall-E Story for inspiration. Sorry Pixar)
However, it has been nearly a millennium and no planet has been found. In fact, the ship has been drifting in empty space. The last star system they checked was SK-1829, a Red Giant, for a planet habitable for life. Their next stop would have been SK-1830, but that order was given out at least a few centuries ago. The good thing was that science has progressed so much that man could finally travel backwards in time. (They could only move as forward in time as much as time has progressed, Confused? Because I am too). What were they planning on doing? With this new time traveling technology, a human could go back in time and research the “holes” in the timeline of Earth because the previous Humans living on the planet Earth (That’s US!) could not find enough information to fill in the holes, so much of Earth’s early history could never be found, until now.
Anyways, the science team on the ship has “perfected” time travel. By “perfected”, I mean that you could send only a single person back and for the in time in time and may cause a power surge in the spaceship that could last up to a week. But they were able to do it! And this is where our REAL story begins…[/align]
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[align=center]The Land Before Time: The Voyage Home
CHAPTER I: Back In Time[/align]
Name: Bongo Emanon
Birth Date: June 23, 3050
Race: Asian, Filipino
Log Entry #001
Log Entry Date – January 15 3036
“Hello. My name is Bongo Emanon. I am of Filipino decadence, part of sector
AB-42.12. I am part of the Science Division #42B. One minute I am studying physics in the Quantamanal University part of the Upper Deck 392, the next minute, I am part of a science experiment. The head council of the Science Division said that I was to be part of a new experiment happening down in the labs on deck 112. I don’t know why they chose me or what I am going through, but they told me to record anything interesting into this log. Well, besides my new transfer from a student to a lab rat, this week’s food was terrible. It was too dry and tasted like something fell on the floor and stayed there for hours. I think I will send a letter to management about fixing the Hydra-Food processor in the main mess hall of the kitchen.”
[align=center]This is Bongo, graduated College at a young age. This is so because since a Human’s strengths and weaknesses are unpredictable before birth, Scientists now inject ëhelping genes’, which make a certain skill soar above the rest. Only a select few are chosen because their parents had the money to afford it. Bongo was one of the lucky few. However, his parents were forbidden to tell him that he had this gene inserted into him until a certain age. This is to make sure that they don’t abuse it at a young age. Such as if a person has a Charisma gene injected into them, they might lead a rebellion on the ship because his smooth charm could poison the minds of some.
Anyways, the reason Bongo has been chosen to be the lab rat is because of his DNA. Unknowingly to his parents, the gene they inserted had another gene in it. The reason behind this was because way before Bongo was born, the science team was already doing experiments on time travel on rats and humans who had the death sentence. This was because any living thing that went through the machine would disintegrate into ashes upon arrival. After many failed test later, the science team has finally perfected a gene that would combat this disintegrating side effects. Bongo was chosen off the list because he was the only child to receive a gene implantation that year.
Another reason why Bongo was the only one chosen was because the time machine could only send one person back and forth in time. Any more and the ship would be knocked out for an unknown amount of days because the machine uses up so much energy. Maybe even weeks, months, or years. By then, the backup generators would have given up and the entire human race would be doomed as a whole.
Bongo was told to report to the science lab on Monday 6:00 AM sharp.[/align]
Log Entry #002
Log Entry Date – January 17, 3036
“I could not write in my log for long. They said I was getting my gear ASAP. All I can say is that I have some sort of life support system, portable lab equipment, and a wilderness guide to all Plants and Animals known to Mankind’. They said that I was going to do a test run once I learn how to operate my equipment. ”
[align=center]Bongo could not write in his log for long because he is being geared up. His life support system will help him survive by disinfecting food and water and making sure they are edible; portable lab equipment to do research on the past plants and animals and history; and a wilderness survival guide to help him just in case his equipment fails. Bongo would then get a basic 101 on how to operate his equipment and how to survive in the wild.
Once his training is done, he would be part of an experiment to see if the machine works, so they would send Bongo one minute into the future. Unfortunately, at the time, the scientists did not know the consequences of traveling forward in time when the future has not yet been laid out…[/align]
Log Entry #007
Log Entry Date – January 22, 3036
“ <CORRUPT MESSAGE ERROR> ”
[align=center]The reason why the message is corrupt is quite horrifying actually. After his basics 101 and packing all his equipment into a pack, he was transferred to Science Viewing Room #A-01, where the time machine was located. The time machine was a circular pad with crescent rings circling the pad. The pad was then connected to a bunch of machines that makes time travel possible. The machines are powered from Uranium Crystals found in deep space asteroids. Earth Uranium cannot be used because, compared to Deep Space Uranium, is a very weak element. Deep Space Uranium is very powerful and ten rods of that uranium can keep the ship going for 500 years!
Bongo had all his equipment in his pack and was instructed to go to the center of the pad and wait there. Bongo went to the pad and waited for 30 minutes. They had to wait until the amphitheater was filled up with scientific observers.
“Ok men and women!” yelled the Science Board of Director,” We are about to do something that has never been done by man for millennia! Time travel!” and he talked on and on and on about the history and the technical stuff while the scientists in the amphitheater kept on taking notes.
“To make sure that this experiment works, we shall send Bongo one minute into the future to see if our experiment works! Tex, punch in coordinate 72-0890 and time travel coordinates + 0.001!” And the man manning the machine punched in the coordinates and then gave the “Ok!” sign to the director. Unfortunately, they did not know dire consequences awaited them.
Just imagine Time Travel is like watching a new television show. Half way though, you can recall what happened in the past, but don’t know what will happen in the future. If you rewind the show, you can go as far forward as you can remember. Like if you are in the year 2010, you can travel to the year 2000, and then travel back to the year 2010, but not 2011 because you don’t know what happens in the year 2011. Trying to travel in the future would result in a paradox and after effects that could shatter the universe as a whole.
Tex waited for the ëGO!’ signal from the director. Bongo, still standing on the pad, waited in anticipation, his back starting to ache from standing up with his pack filled to the brim. Bongo was both excited and scarred. He knew he would be part of history, being the first time traveler the Human race has ever known, but he heard of the stories of past failed experiments; would he come in one piece, or would he disintegrate into ash?
Then, out of the blue, the director made the final decision with the council and yelled “GO!” to Tex. Tex pulled down on a lever that activated the time circuits. Electricity then surged from the Uranium Power Stations (UPS; ha ha ha) to the switch and then finally to the time circuits. At that moment, everyone in the amphitheater held their breath; the council, the audience, and especially Bongo. Like magic, the crescent shaped rings started to revolve around Bongo really fast. They were so fast that the rings became a blur. The rings then started to hum softly then loudly then softly again. A light bluish purple tinge started to glow around Bongo.
Then, an electromagnetic sphere started to form around him. On the inside of the bubble, time seemed to slow down. Bongo’s movements started to slow and looked like he was in the Matrix. From the outside, the audience “Ooh’d and Awed” at the sight. From inside the bubble, Bongo thought it was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his entire life.
Just as quick as it happened, one of the machines exploded. Some frightened audience members ran for it. Others screamed. Most ducked and covered. Tex said that the machine had an internal error. The machine tried to calculate the coordinates Tex punched in, but all that occurred was a paradox. It’s like using a calculator and dividing by zero, except the calculator is powered by Space Uranium and is about 100x larger and has the tendency to disintegrate people when things go wrong.
A fire started to spread from the location of the explosion. A fire crew came in, but had to pull out because now broken, highly charged wires lay skewed across the floor. Bolts of electricity started to shoot across the room.
“Shut it of! Shut the machine off!” the director yelled at Tex. Tex tried his best to shut off the machine, but an explosion from behind knocked Tex and the machine over. The keyboard for the machine was smashed, and so then the text and coordinates in the screen got all jumbles and the numbers started to change rapidly.
Bongo was aware of this but could do nothing. His body just bobbed in the middle of the electrically charged time bubble. All he could do was listen to the explosions and sounds of people screaming see bolts of electricity fly past him with explosions accompanying them, and the director trying to get him out of the bubble. Plus, Bongo was starting to feel light headed. This is because prolonged exposure to this ëTime Bubble’ can have some unpleasant effects to the Human body, so he had to get out of there.
Just then, a bolt of electricity flew from the broken machine to the power inlet connecter of the Time Machine’s Pad. The machine’s screen finally stopped on an unknown coordinate. The hum of the pad’s crescent rings hummed louder and louder and glowed brighter and brighter. Just when Bongo was about to pass out, a huge explosion happened on the machine and a bright, white flash occurred with a “SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHH” sound, and Bongo and his equipment was gone. All that was left was a destroyed time pad, machines, and a very frightened crew…[/align]
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[align=center]CHAPTER II: The Land Lost in Time
After the bolt of electricity hit the teleportation pad, Bongo’s world just seemed to fade away. Outside his time sphere, colors began to change; the scenery began to warp; and voices started to get muffled. Then they all started to swirl around and around until the colors, shapes, and voices formed a vortex-like hole in the space time continuum. The sphere then lurched forward through the vortex; or did the vortex swallow the sphere? It is unknown, because the prolonged exposure to the Time Sphere knocked Bongo out cold. If he was left that way, he would be dead in less than five minutes…
Just in time, the sphere had done it! It had crossed space and time; along with its lone passenger and partially destroyed equipment! The science experiment was a complete success, besides the destroyed equipment, terrified scientists, and the few injured in the process.
The sphere finally materialized in a large meadow in the Great Valley, letting off a humming sound and a bright light to signal its arrival. Bongo’s near lifeless body still suspended in the sphere gently floated to the bottom of the sphere and then fell through the bottom. Then, just as quick as it came, the Time Sphere then faded into non-existence.
Quickly out of the Time Sphere’s field, he quickly came out of being knocked out. He got up quickly to determine where, or more importantly, when! Bongo then remembered his equipment. He took his pack off of his back and rummaged through. Most of the equipment was fried when the surge of electricity the pad and sphere. Fortunately, some of his other equipment survived. Soon enough, he found it; his Wilderness Survival Guide!
However, instead of being made of paper, it is electronic. In the future, since trees would be hard to maintain on the ship, they switched to electronic books. The only trees left on the ship was on the closed off section for colonization. No trees means no books. No books meant the switch to electronic devices.
The survival guide was about the size of your modern day iPad, except it had a 3D hologram attached to it. Holograms in the future replaced videos on screen. The other features, however, are pretty much the same as your iPad, except a lot more advance. This Wilderness Survival guide has programs, or what you modern folk call ëApps’. Some told the time, some gave you the geography of the land, some would act as a compass, some would scan plants and animals to determine what they are and whether they are edible or not, and some could even translate dialogue for you and the speaker.
It is like a futuristic Google Translate, except instead of translating words, it translates sounds. Let’s say a person is speaking to you in Spanish and you are English. The program translates the sounds it hears and then says it in your language in the same voice and tone that person talked to you in. When you reply to the other person, its pretty much the same thing, except reversed. Plus, instead of having to wait for a translation, things are instantaneous; no wait! Isn’t the future great?
Bongo brought up his Wilderness Survival Guide, then went to his calendar. The calendar did not just tell the date, but the time, year, and temperature in both degrees and Celsius.
A smooth, soothing female tone then came up saying,” Time; Mid to Late Jurassic Period (The reason the program could not give out an exact date is because its data is very slim on dates before the earliest recorded time in the globe, so it gives estimates) 1:12 AM. Temperature; 17*C/62*F”
“Mid to late Jurassic period!” Bongo thought frantically in his mind,” I was only supposed to go one minute in the future! Not many millennia in the past!!! Something must have gone wrong! Alright, just stay calm, stay calm. Remember your training. Ok, the first thing I was taught is to know your surroundings…”
Bongo’s eyes scanned his surroundings. He was in a field of prehistoric brush in what appeared to be a valley. From what he could tell at that point, there was no way in or out. He knew he could not be seen out in the open. One of the creatures could spot him and he could be killed! He then got out his survival book again and got out the program that showed the geography of the land. A little antenna came out the top of his device and did a quick scan of the place.
A holographic map then appeared in front of him. Bongo saw his position and then saw a nearby clearing behind some trees. There, he could set up camp and then decide from there. The clearing was no more than half a mile away. Following his map, he headed off in that direction, right outside this large meadow, not know all this time, he was being watched…
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It was nightfall in the Great Valley. The moon was high in the sky, with the occasional cloud coming over casting vast shadows across the valley. The waterfalls were roaring quietly and the river made soft splashing sounds. The trees swayed in the breeze and their leaves moved to-and-fro. Insects buzzed amidst the tall plants. All the dinosaurs were fast asleep; eggs packed tightly in their nests, babies and children cuddling with their mothers, mothers keeping their eggs and children warm, and the fathers sleeping on the outskirts of their little patch they call home to protect the ones they loved.
There was one little dinosaur, however, that was still wide awake; Littlefoot. Littlefoot could not sleep because he was having nightmares of a Sharptooth attacking the Great Valley again. He knew the story and he knew the ending so well, so why did it bother him? Even Littlefoot could not answer that. Could it be because a sharptooth killed his mother? Is it because a sharptooth almost killed his friends? Or could it be because a sharptooth almost killed him? He pondered and pondered all night long, and did not want to wake his grandparents up just because of another dream.
He stared up at the night sky, looking at the moon, clouds, and stars, and his mind was then set off his dream. He wondered many things, and pondered many other things too. “So many questions, so little answers” Littlefoot said to himself,” If only I could solve them” Littlefoot then decided that he was just over thinking things and should get some rest. Just when he laid down his head and curled up into a ball, he heard something come from a meadow with tall brush. Littlefoot’s head suddenly jerked up. It sounded like nothing he has ever heard in the Great Valley. He has never even heard it in the Mysterious Beyond!
Littlefoot cautiously got up; so he would not disturb his grandparents; and set off for the meadow to find the source of this sound. The closer he got to the meadow, the louder the sound got. It was like a humming noise. He carefully entered the meadow’s tall foliage. Out of no where, a blinding light came from the middle of the field. Littlefoot ducked and covered in the plants. He dared not to come out because he feared of what he would see could hurt or even kill him. After a little while after the blinding light vanished, he could hear panting then something fumbling for something. Littlefoot then heard a voice. Although he could not understand it, he could tell it was female though. Littlefoot caught a small glimpse of a strange creature. He quickly looked away in fear that the creature saw him. He could not even make out his shape. It stood up like Ducky, but did not seem like the creature had the same head as Ducky, or even the same skin! In fact, what was that bush doing on top of its head?
Littlefoot then heard footsteps walk right past him. His little heart was just about to break out of his rib cage out of fear. After a short period of time after the footsteps have vanished, Littlefoot got up. He swiftly looked around him to see if that creature was still there with him. He then noticed where the bright light and noise originated from; the middle of the meadow. He ventured forth, and upon reaching the epicenter, he saw something stranger than beyond belief.
In the middle of the meadow, where the light and sound came from, where the creature presumably came from was a hole. Not just any kind of hole, but a circular hole. Heck, it wasn’t even a circle! It was a sphere! (Yes. Remember the Terminator movies? When they go back in time, they travel in spheres that just seem to devour the scenery? Just imagine something like that in the meadow). Glowing embers were on the tips on the foliage that had been cut off. The ground looked like someone just took a scoop out of the Earth. It was as if a giant sharptooth had smashed a giant boulder that was on fire into the middle of the meadow.
None of this made any sense to Littlefoot, none at all. He then noticed footprints in the; now squished; plant life. They went on right past him where he was just quivering and shaking. Littlefoot followed these tracks until he reached the edge of the meadow again. He then noted the slight imprint of a creature’s footsteps in the ground. HE saw where they led, and he then gasped as he saw that they went straight to…
“Grandma! Grandpa!!!” Littlefoot cried out loud. He already lost his mother and almost lost his Grandfather too. He did not want to lose both of them at the same time. He then rushed off to his grandparents, hoping he would not be too late…[/align]
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This appears to be a very interesting story. I will be following it.
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As I said on the wecome forum, I was reading it, but then the connection timed out so I didn't get to review this. So far, it's coming along nicely. I like it, and will be following and looking out for new chapters. :yes Good work.
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Thanks Caustizer and LBTDiclonius. I enjoyed writing up the prologue and both of the chapters! I enjoy reading good comments like yours too! I expect the chapter and part of the next to be done by Saturday. In fact, i will see if I can do as much as i can to finish up the rest of Chapter II today and post them. If not, I will do so on Saturday.
Keep the feedback coming guys! Its comments like those that give me a reason to finish my grand story! :exactly
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Your very much welcome Bongo! Alway's happy to help. :yes
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(continued from the first half of Part II)
[align=center]...Bongo kept following his holographic map through the thick forest and brush. When ever possible, he took a scanning of the plants in front of him to make sure they were not poisonous. Even with his map, it was still hard to navigate through the forest. The trees were thick, close together, and had large roots that were hard to climb over. There were streams and mud pits that Bongo stepped into and almost tripped in while trying to navigate through the dark. He tried to get his flashlight out, but he could not find it through the rubble.
Plus, he knew he could not stop now. He had to make a base camp to fall back to in case there was trouble. What seemed like a short half mile walk turned out to be a three mile nightmare! The bugs, plant life, and natural obstacles kept on getting in the way. Nether less, Bongo moved on. The equipment on his back started to weigh him down while going through a muddy bog. He went from being ankle high to knee high.
After many bug bites, itchy plant encounters, and almost sinking waist deep in mud, according to his map, Bongo had finally made it to the clearing! He turned off his Survival Guide, and then slowly headed to the clearing past the thick brush. Just as Bongo was about to jump a bush, he heard a soft grumbling sound. By instinct, he ducked behind the very bush he was about to jump.
Bongo, shivering with both fear and excitement. This would be the first time that a human has ever encountered a real life dinosaur! HE quickly got out his Wilderness Survival Guide and selected the ëScan’ program. A small pole poked out of the top of the Guide and fired a small, blue laser at the dinosaur. Then, the soft female voice came up saying,
“Species; Apatosaurus, Sex; Male, Herbivore, Weight; Approx. 18,000 Kg/40,000 lbs to 35,000 Kg/77,000 lbs.” Bongo starred in awe. “It’s a gentle giant!” he thought to himself,” Better document this!” and quickly got out a camera with an attached laser pointer for better accuracy. Bongo turned on the camera and laser pointer, and since it was dark out, had to have the flash on, but set it on low so he would not disturb the Apatosaurus.
He aimed the camera lens at the huge dinosaur, and just when he was about to take a photo, he heard a small yell, or was it a roar? It sounded like a combination of both. Whatever it was, Bongo was not quick enough to realize what it was, because when he turned around, he was knocked off his knees and was thrown into the clearing. What ever knocked him down made his camera hit a rock. This changed its flash settings from ëlow’ to ëhigh’ and Bongo’s frightened self accidentally squeezed the camera trigger.
A bright flash came out of the camera and a loud “POP!” sounded. The next thing Bongo knew was that on top of him was a child Apatosaurus! The more bewildering thing was that, was it just Bongo imagining it, or was it real, that the Apatosaurus had an angry look on him! The dino was getting too heavy for Bongo’s chest, so with all his might, he pushed the Apatosaurus off him. Bongo saw him do a barrel roll before stopping on his side.
What ever expression the little dinosaur had, the flash, sound, and small brawl between Bongo and the dinosaur woke up the larger ones. The male immediately got up, and what a bad time too! The male saw Bongo push the small one off, and that seemed to tick the big fellow off. Bongo then realized that the big one must have been a father of some sort and the little one to be the child! There is one thing every person learns; hit a kid in front of their parents, and the parents get ticked off!
The male Apatosaurus got up on all fours as quickly as he could and roared a beastly roar. This roar echoed all across the valley, and this seemed to wake up the neighborhood. All of a sudden, like a chain reaction, other roars from other dinosaurs called out, and Bongo could hear the distinctive rumble of a stampede of dinosaurs coming his way. Bongo could only do what any scared man would do; RUN!
Bongo got up quickly and picked up his fallen equipment and ran for the trees. He turned around and ducked in time too because the big male swung his tail around with the goal of hitting Bongo. He missed and instead hit a patch of trees, making a clearing for Bongo to escape. He looked behind him and the little bugger that had landed on his chest was starting to chase him, snapping his jaws whenever he got close.
His worn down feet and the heavy pack was no match for the prehistoric Hulk with four legs and a long neck charging at him. Luckily, using that Smart Gene that was implanted into his brain, he saw a crack in the ground ahead of him that had lava at the bottom. Then he remembered he had a canteen of water at his side. Remembering basic science; when water heats up, you get gas, and when you speed up the process, you get steam! He would pour water down the crack to make a huge steam cloud to act as a prehistoric smoke bomb and make his escape!
Bongo unlatched the canteen from his side, unscrewed the cap, and threw the water ahead of him. With the quick thinking of his brain, the water landed in the crack and created a steam cloud. He escaped through it while the little Apatosaurus suddenly stopped out of shock that steam had appeared out of nowhere, but charged in after Bongo. Luckily, Bongo escaped and brought up his holographic map again. Up ahead was a small cave hidden behind a rock formation. Bongo knew this would be his new camp, and disappeared through the steam, leaving a still dazed and confused Apatosaurus behind…
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Littlefoot, knowing that section of the land well, quickly jumped over every tree root, every huge rock, every large mud puddle, and just about every other obstruction with ease. He then heard that female voice again talking in that strange language again. Littlefoot got into stealth mode, and stayed close to the ground while making as little noise as possible. What he saw scared him to death; that creature hunched down behind a bush pointing a…a…”What is that thing?” Littlefoot questioned himself in his mind while he focused his eyes on the creature’s red stick that glowed.
He then noticed it was pointed straight at his Grandfather. Not wanting to know how things would turn out, Littlefoot went out on a full on charge while yelling,” NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Littlefoot then accurately and swiftly hit the creature in the back which sent that thing flying out into the open. All of a sudden, a bright flash and a loud “POP!” occurred. This threw Littlefoot back a bit. Fearing that the creature killed his Grandfather used all his rage against that creature.
He took a flying leap and landed his two hind legs on the creature’s chest. From there, under the light of the moon, Littlefoot saw that this creature was nothing like he had ever seen. He lowered his head to the creatures head and wanted to rip his face off because he thought that the creature had killed his Grandfather.
His grandfather, however, was perfectly fine, but with the all the ruckus and bright flash, Littlefoot’s grandfather woke up. Littlefoot, overjoyed that his Grandpa was still alive, was too distracted to notice the creature push him off. Littlefoot then did a roll on the ground and landed on his side. He was surprised that for such a scrawny little creature, he sure did have some strength.
This was too much for Grandpa. Fearing Littlefoot got badly hurt by that…thing, he yelled out,” LITTLEFOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!” Grandpa’s yell echoed and bounced off the valley’s walls. This woke up every family in the valley; Cera’s, Petrie’s, Ducky’s and Spike’s, and many more. Since everyone in the valley knew Littlefoot and they knew that his grandfather would not yell his name like that unless there was danger, they knew Littlefoot was in trouble. So everyone in the valley; both big or small, a flier, swimmer, or three horn alike; all charged to the source of the yell to help Littlefoot out. Protecting his only grandson, Littlefoot’s Grandfather swung his tail around, whip lashing a nearby group of trees, but caused no harm to that little creature that got in a brawl with Littlefoot.
Littlefoot quickly regained his strength and got up just in time to see the creature escape through a clearing. He charged toward him, getting closer and closer and closer until he was so close he could probably bite the creatures behind off. Even with that long neck of his, he couldn’t reach. He stretched and he snapped, he went faster and snapped, but the creature was just a little far off! Just when he could get a good bite, the creature did something! A mist appeared out of nowhere!
Bewildered and a bit shocked, Littlefoot stopped at the edge of the mists, but then put that off his mind and raced into the cloud. He searched and searched and searched until the mists subsided.
“That creature got away!” Littlefoot cried out in defeat. Then, after getting over his emotions, raced back to his Grandfather and Grandmother to make sure they are ok. It was a commotion over at Littlefoot’s grounds. The adults went on bickering and blabbering as usual while the kids stayed behind wondering what all the commotion was about.
When Littlefoot arrived back home, he noticed all the adults were in a circle; some showing fear, some showing sympathy, and others showing no interest at all. Behind the adults, he then noticed that the gang was in some bushes discussing things like the grown ups. Littlefoot decided to head there.
As Littlefoot got closer, the words he heard became clearer…
“…Well MY father says that the only reason why we came here in the first place was to see what the noise was for!” ëDefiantly Cera’ Littlefoot thought in his mind.
“But did you not hear the sounds of a fight?” asked a timid voice “When Mama heard Grandpa Longneck’s yell for Littlefoot, she told us to go hurry. As we fly to Littlefoot, we hear fighting and tree smashing. Mama was sure scared.” Littlefoot recognized that voice as Petrie immediately.
“Well, Spike woke up to get a snack down by the water. When he got up, he woke me up and I realized I was VERY hungry, and decided to join him. All of a sudden, I hear a yell near Littlefoot’s home, so I wake Mama up and tell her about it and we hurried over here without stopping. Yep yep yep!” There was only one dinosaur in the whole valley that talks about Spike so often; Ducky.
“Look! Littlefoot is here now!” yelled Petrie as he saw Littlefoot slowly come towards the gang with his head slumped down in defeat.
“Littlefoot! We are so glad you are ok!” exclaimed Ducky as she jumped off of Spike’s head and ran towards Littlefoot’s leg and hugged it vigorously.
Littlefoot turned his head, and with a tired smile said in a weary tone,” Glad to see you too Ducky.” And he then walked over to Spike, Cera, and Petrie.
“So, did you catch your monster Littlefoot?” Cera asked in a sarcastic tone, and chuckled a bit at what she just said.
“Oh, so you think this is all an entire joke!?” Snapped Littlefoot “Do you think that fight was a joke? Do you think that patch of destroyed trees is a joke? This is not a joke!”
“Do not worry, we believe you Littlefoot” Petrie replied. Ducky and Spike nodded their heads in agreement.
“Yea, we sure do believe you Littlefoot” Cera replied and rolled her eyes.
Just then, one of the adults saw Littlefoot. His Grandfather then stepped forward and lowered his head down to Littlefoot’s height.
“Littlefoot? Are you hurt? What was that thing? Where did it go? What did it look like? Did you get it?” Littlefoot’s Grandfather kept on interrogating him with question upon question.
“I’m fine Grandpa” Replied Littlefoot in an exasperated tone,” I am not hurt, just a little dazed. I don’t know what it even is! I could not tell where the creature went though, because I lost him. And it looked lie…a…um…”
“Like a ëwhat’ Littlefoot? Please explain it to us as best as you can” His Grandpa urged him on. Littlefoot then went onto explaining what the creature looked like in the best way possible. Some of the adults, like Topsy, had their doubts that this was a lie. Littlefoot then remembered the evidence that he had! Littlefoot showed them all the spot where the creature, sound, and noise originated from.
Now all of them were convinced that this terror was real, and was amongst them all. Littlefoot also showed them the spot where the creature created a mist out of nowhere. He even found an empty canteen lying nearby to provide even more evidence that this creature was real! Everyone was now in a fright; including Cera and Topsy who did not believe a single word from the beginning.
Littlefoot’s Grandfather then stepped up and came up with a plan;
“Ok, any and all adult fliers will keep watch over any passages in and out of the great valley to not only ensure that no Sharptooth would come through, but to also keep a watch out for that creature. Three Horns will patrol the perimeter of the valley to make sure everything is in its checks and balances. Swimmers, check the water supplies. Every living thing needs water sometime or another. Other Longnecks, keep a lookout through the valley to see if you can spot him!” All the Adults surrounding Litttlefoot’s Grandfather agreed heartily and started to create time schedules for each adult to take.
Littlefoot and the gang then stepped up as the adults started moving home while checking their surroundings to see if they could spot the creature.
“Grandpa?” Littlefoot asked “Is there anything WE can do to help? I mean I almost got that thing by foot!”
His Grandfather then stared down at Littlefoot and with a stern tone said,” Sorry Littlefoot, but after that close encounter, I just can’t afford to have that thing hurt you or worse.”
“But Grandpa…”
“That is my final decision! Now you and your friends spend the night here. Your Grandma will keep watch. The rest of us will start guarding and securing the area” and then Littlefoot’s Grandfather left to go to the adults, and Littlefoot’s Grandmother then left the clearing also to keep watch on the outside.
“Well that is no fair!” Pouted Cera,” We are just as good as the adults! We could get that creature! That will show them!”
“Good idea Cera” Littlefoot agreed,” In fact, I have a plan. Listen up everybody. First, we are going to lure that creature out of the open with food. We will put the food in a trail so that it leads to the sinking sands. The creature will get stuck in the sinking sands and then we will show the adults we can do this!”
“Yes, me agree!” Petrie said enthusiastically.
“Me and Spike agree too” Ducky also said.
“Then it is agreed. We will find and capture that creature that is out on the lose!” Littlefoot declared triumphantly…
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Now personally for Chapter II, the first 3/4 was my favorite part to write about. However, the last 1/4 of the chapter was a big downer in my opinion. Now why don't I change it? Well, in my real version that I am updating, I am so far ahead that the actions based on the last 1/4 have an effect on future chapters, so I HAVE to keep it this way :bang
Please tell me, is there any way I can improve the last bit while keeping to the plot?
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Good chapter. But I've noticed one thing. When you say scarred as in, "Bongo was scarred" instead of the two R's there should only be one R there like this, "Bongo was scared." Hope that helps a little bit. But other than that, it looked fine. Good job on the spelling and grammer. :yes
Well, that was probably one of the ugliest meetings in a Land Before time Fanfiction with a human I've ever read. Certainly not how I thought the meeting would go down, but I guess that's something different, and different is good. ;)
I don't see why you would have to change the last quarter of the chapter. And if it's a big plot point, why change it? And their little plan to jump on him would probably work so that, they'll be able to meet Bongo and make friends with him. Overall I liked this Chapter, I look forward to the next part. :)
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This is really good. :) Can't wait for more. :)
Also, about the profanity, there's a rule about it on Gang of Five:
Section 2
1 - use of the following words: ass, damn, hell
a.) provided they are not used against any member here in a deragatory manner, there is no issue
2 - use of any of the words in section 2.1 or any other questionable words where the intent is clearly to anger is not allowed under any circumstances
a.) included words: bi**h, f**k, s**t, sl**
You can center text by using this code:
- Code: on
[align=center] insert text here [/align]
It will come out centered, but make sure you copy it right. Just put 'left' 'right' or 'center' on how you want your text aligned. :)
Thanks LBTDiclonius. I did a quick run through a did some revision on some words and scentences. And yes I must agree, the meeting was a very unpleasant one, but also fun to write about :DD . It was entertaining to write about the many troubles I....er, Bongo (I am the narrator) goes through. It was also very fun to write about the two sides of the story; Bongo's side and the Dinosaur's side, and how misunderstandings could lead to certain doom :smile
I don't see why you would have to change the last quarter of the chapter. And if it's a big plot point, why change it?
Oh, and don't worry, I decided to keep the main plot of the last quarter of Chapter II; The dinosaurs have a discussion on what to do, Littlefoot shows evidence, and Grandpa makes the plan of tighter security on the Great Velley. I just want to make the dialouge more engaging with more conversation between the grown up besides just Topsy and Gramps and some other unnamed dinosaurs and actually have the Gane of Five have something to say!
Oh, and being part of the "Most Wanted" in the Great Valley AND being the main character is unheard of (Well, at least in my mind). He will eventually make friends of course (ClichÈ much? :p ), but I promise, I will try to make it as epic as I possibly can!
And Adder, thanks for reminding me about the profanity rules. I read them before and I know children may be reading this, so I will only include the words "damn" and possibly "hell" a couple of times for Bongo's lines to represent a stressful moment. They will certainly NOT be used against any of the LBT characters or any GOF members either OR used in an excessive motion (Ex; Scarface :lol )
And also, thanks for the code. I will implement it as soon as I possibly can.
And for anyone else reading my story, I will most likely have the next chapter up! School has been slowing me down on completing it, but I am makin slow progress! Expect a new chapter by Friday or Saturday and the possible revision of the last 1/4 of Chapter II by Wednesday or Thursday.
Cool. I understand, school can be a pain eh? I hope to see more of this, it's lookin' really good. keep up the good work! :)
Yes, school is a pain sometimes, especially with so many district and state tests on your back all the time.
Luckily I get a month long vacation starting this Saturday (Or Friday after school if you are so picky) so I will have a whole lot of time to work on my story.
And thanks again!
Plus, is it just me, or does it seem like you are the only member here to read and comment on my story daily? :DD
Yep, that's me! :D But if your new to a forum, like me and you, there aren't many things to reply to so you do what you gotta do. <_< And your welcome!
UPDATE 1/25/2011: Wow, I never knew I could work so quick, but I finally fixed and patched up Chapter II in less than 24 hours from its original post. Now the chapter is longer and has better dialouge!
Chapter III is now in the works and its projected due date is now moved from Saturday to Thursday.
Have fun reading my now modified Chapter II :birthday
^ To answer you Bongo, I did enjoy the chapter. I like the dialouge better now. Before it seemed like everyone was mute, not that there's anthing wrong with that, I just think dialouge makes a story interesting. Nice work. ;)
This story looks quite interesting to me (it’s just about the first LBT fanfiction I’ve seen in which the dinosaurs don’t inexplicably speak the same language as humans :!), and I am strongly tempted to review it, but I am already leaving feedback on so many other fanart and fanfiction threads on this forum that I’m afraid to commit myself to providing regular feedback on this one. :unsure: For now, I thought I could at least offer some notes and suggestions to help you improve the story.
I think I should first warn you that I can be quite the nitpicker when it comes to reviewing. :oops Although I intend all of my criticism to be constructive, I often worry that it causes me to come off as overly critical or not liking the story. So let me just tell you in advance that I wouldn’t bother to put all the time and effort of writing a long and detailed list of identified errors and suggestions for improvement if I didn’t like the story and didn’t want to help the author make it the best story it could possibly be.
The first suggestion I have is that you slow down a little on posting new chapters. That way, each chapter will have a greater chance of accumulating its own list of reviews. It looks to me that you already have a steady reviewer in LBTDiclonius, :yes but it’s good to receive feedback from multiple people. (Forgive me; I don’t know how experienced you are with fanfiction writing; I may be telling you things you already know. :oops)
I also think you should leave out the parenthetical comments in the story text and some of the chapter titles. (And that’s coming from someone who makes parenthetical notes all the time.) They only distract the reader’s attention from the story. Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about: BACKSTORY (A tad long)
CHAPTER I: Back In Time (This is where the real story begins)
Electricity then surged from the Uranium Power Stations (UPS; ha ha ha) to the switch and then finally to the time circuits.
A smooth, soothing female tone then came up saying,” Time; Mid to Late Jurassic Period (The reason the program could not give out an exact date is because its data is very slim on dates before the earliest recorded time in the globe, so it gives estimates) 1:12 AM. Temperature; 17*C/62*F”
(Yes. Remember the Terminator movies? When they go back in time, they travel in spheres that just seem to devour the scenery? Just imagine something like that in the meadow).
These sorts of things would probably best be shared separately from the story.
I did see several spelling and grammar errors, and even a few malapropisms (instances in which a word is used that sounds or is spelled similar to the word you intended to use, but has a completely different meaning; these errors won’t be caught by a spell check). For example, at the beginning of Chapter 1, you use the word “decadence” when I’m pretty sure you meant “descent”. I also spotted at least one instance where the word “definitely” is written as “defiantly”.
Some of the adults, like Topsy, had their doubts that this was a lie.
I think you mean that they had their doubts that it was true.
Homo sapiens is a scientific name. Therefore the first part should be capitalized, and scientifically speaking, the entire name should be italicized. This rule also applies to the scientific names of dinosaurs. (Speaking of which, just a thought: if the guide ever identifies Tyrannosaurus by its full scientific nameóTyrannosaurus rexóthen it might make sense for it to identify the other dinosaur species by their full names as well: Apatosaurus excelsus, Triceratops horridus, Saurolophus osborni, Pteranodon longiceps, Stegosaurus armatus, and so on. If you decide to do this, but don’t know the full name of a specific dinosaur, just ask me. ;)).
Now for a few comments and observations on the story itself:
ï This is just my personal view, but I’d imagine that it wouldn’t be science experiments that destroy Earth’s environment, but the increasing human population. The more humans there are, the more fresh water is used up, the more soil is overtaxed for growing crops, the more the seas are overfished, and the more land is used up for living space, landfills, and industrial sites.
ï Although LBT is completely unrealistic in the range of dinosaur species it depicts as existing contemporaneously, it would be more plausible in my opinion for it to be set in the late Cretaceous period, when all of the dinosaurs portrayed had already evolved, with the presence of those that were technically extinct at that time justified with the argument that they simply survived later than the fossil record would indicate.
ï Why would Littlefoot think that Bongo was a threat to his grandfather? :confused The dinosaurs have no concept of guns; the closest equivalent they have to a weapon that can do damage from a distance is dropping or throwing rocks or other objects.
ï I can’t imagine that the adult dinosaurs (especially Mr. Threehorn) would so easily change their minds from refusing to believe Littlefoot to being fully convinced of his story from the evidence he showed them. I’d think that the space left by the time sphere would look to them like the crater left by a small meteorite. The canteen would certainly be like nothing they’d ever seen before, but how far would it really go to prove Littlefoot’s story to be true? I don’t see why they would be so alarmed by the creature, either; the fact that it fled when attacked by one of their children doesn’t make it seem too threatening. I think a more realistic response from the adults would be one of suspicion and precaution; a mindset like: “there’s something strange going on, and we’d better keep a lookout and take safety measures in case it’s dangerous”. In order to implement this change to the story, you wouldn’t need to really alter the plot, just the dialogue and the descriptions of the characters’ reactions.
I must congratulate you in that your revision of the chapters has, in my opinion, definitely improved them from their original state. :yes There are some errors that I was originally going to point out that do not seem to be there anymore.
Again, I review a lot of stories and artwork on this forum, so forgive me if I don’t post regular or punctual feedback on this story; I hope I have at least managed to be helpful with this review. I will do my best to follow this story; I’m eager to see how the gang will interact with Bongo. (Though I’d prefer to never see humans in the LBT canon, some of my favorite scenes in LBT fanfiction involve a human character’s reaction to meeting sentient dinosaurs. :lol)
Its ok. Nitpicking is good( in some cases that is)
Now, to answer your first question is because I am in school right now, and of course, school before fun! Luckily, I get a month long break after Friday, so I get to update as regularly as I can. Plus, its not my decision that a person posts a comment on this :p
The parenthetical comments I put in are like annotations. They just provide extra information, because I know some people just wonder and don't ask about it.
I do use spell check, but you know that spell sheck is not 100% accurate. Plus, spell check does not choose words that best fit. It was only designed to check if words are spelled correctly. Also, I mostly do my stories late at night because that is when I have a lot of free time. I am a little tired by then, so my choice of words may not be as broad as when I am awake.
Also, please note my first post. It clearly states that I type these stories up in Microsoft Word and then just copy and paste. In Microsoft Word, 90% of the time, if I have a word that I want underlined, italicized, or boldy printed in my original story, it usually is, and right now during a school week, I don't have the time to go back and read every scentence amd compare it with my Microsoft Word version of the story.
Thanks for pointing out that I did not complete the names of the dinosaurs. In the future, I will reaserch the full names of them.
Now, onto your comments;
- Although I did not explain it throroughly, in my mind, the Science experiments did do something to the Earth. For example, a lot of the science experiments had byproducts, such as trash, rubble, nuclear waste, and scrap. Being Humans, we did not change our ways much :lol . True, nuclear waste and scrap would be recycled, but trash and rubble world go straight to the landfills. The landfills would continue to grow and grow, and by the time the humans realized the growing problem and impliment solutions, it has grown too big. Water became polluted. Wild life started to die off due to pollution and ingestion of the trash, and disease and sickness went rampant.
Also, in the future, just like how we are able to create gold today, in the future, the humans were able to create coal with as little money as possible. It was like back when people found out how to make steel cheap and quick, it revolutionized the whole world. With the ability to create coal cheap and easy, humans completely forgo other souces of energy that was more exspensive than producing coal.
- Yea. I was very mixed when it cam to that. I could not decide between the Cretaceous or Jurassic period. My reasoning for the Jurassic persiod os because I belived that some heards of the Cretaceous period survived into the Jurassic period. But remember, we humans on this Earth don't know much about the life of dinosaurs and could only give off guesses and estimates. Thats why they did this time travel experiment; to find the gaps in history. For all we know, those dinosaurs COULD of lived during the Jurassic period :p
- Well, in my view, Littlefoot saw this as a threat because, for one thing, he did not know what it was, just like the Stone of Cold fire. Plus, that thing was pointing straight at his Grandpa and was emmiting a red light in a straight line. Nothing like that ever existed back in the time of the Dinosaurs!
Just imagine if Aliens come down to us and point a camera at the President or Queen or someone important and had an unknown substance or object ot thing connect the camera to the person (In this case, the laser beam connects it target to the camera), and we mistook it as something danger, we would react with hostility. Anything living only has one life. If we did one mistake, then it would be goodbye! Littlefoot did not want to take that chance, so he reacted with hostility.
- Once again, I did it late at night and posted it without another thought and went straight to the sack :rolleyes: . I will go over that section and add dialogue showing both Mr. Threehorn's and Cera's reluctance to believing it, although I will make Cera believe Littlefoot after showing the canteen and the hole in the grass and ground. However, I will have Mr. Threehorn not believe a thing until they all find Bongo.
MAN! That will be a fun chapter to write; the reactions to Bongo, although I will make them have conversations. Can I ask you a question? Do you think it would be cheap of me to write that the translator in Bongo's survival guide could also translate animal dialouge? True, dinosaurs arn't animals, but lets just say... :p
And yes, I do know you do review a lot of FanFiction and FanArt because in my days of lurking the website, I always say your name pop up in this forum section :lol .
I also like your criticism! I actually do! It points out the faults of my story along with your point of view, because like in my story, I like to know the points of view on the same subject.
And here is a question FOR ALL OF YOU :o
Do you want the meeting with Bongo and the Dinosaurs to be epic?
If so, do you want Bongo to get in a predicament, or someone else?
I want to know because I know that the meeting between the main human character and the dinosaurs is one of the many good highlights, so I want to make it as good as possible!
Oh, and Chapter III is in the works. (SPOILER ALERT) I will be taking a break from epic meetings and instead focus on how life changes in the Great Valley, how Littlefoot's plan to jump Bongo is going, and how Bongo is trying to contact his mothership while trying to survive in the valley and not be seen by the daily patrols of the area.
It will definatly be inspired by movies in where a character bust escape a prison while avoiding the guards :yes
Hmm, thanks for the veiwpoints. And thank you Pangaea for that compliment, if it was anyway's, in your review. I try my best. :D
For the viewpoints, you opened my eyes and mind a little going in and out of this story about why they reacted, did what they did, and went where they went in the first few chapters.
I don't exactly know what you should do about the whole 'translation' thing. But personally, I really don't care. But maybe you could have a little machine that Bongo could use to talk to the dinosaurs and understand what they're saying. Like one of those phones you hook onto your ear, or wireless headphones that allows you to communicate with animals. That should be all right because the future should have that kind of technology.
For the question...maybe someone else should get into a predicament so Bongo can save them, and then be trusted. If you like that idea. As for who, maybe...judgeing by what happened, maybe...Littlefoot should get into a predicament, so Bongo can save him and he'll be trusted by the valley for saving him. That happens in most stories, but you can change it up a little bit, if you like the idea.
Well, I've givin my thoughts about this. I'm looking forward to the chapter. :yes
[align=center] CHAPTER III: Settling Down
Bongo woke up all of a sudden. He slowly got up with his hands pushing on the ground. He had a very groggy memory of what happened last night. He remembered running away from getting his behind bitten off; running into a cave and then passing out because of sheer exhaustion. Bongo went to rub his face and then noticed he had a layer of dust on his hands and face. Looking around, he saw that the cave he picked was about the size of a master bedroom’s closet.
Finally getting up on both of his feet, Bongo walked around to see what there was in store for him. There were a couple of boulders in the cave; just big enough to sit on. In the corner, he also noticed a small, bubbling spring. He looked at the ceiling and saw a small hole where water trickled through into the spring. Bongo also noticed a small bed of moss near the spring, which was about an inch thick and was six by three feet.
“Perfect” Bongo thought to himself.” This will make a perfect camp” and with that said, Bongo looked behind him. Sunlight fell upon his eyes and he had to squint. He noted that the cave was perfectly hidden behind some rocks but was at such an angle that sunlight could come in at sunrise. He could hear noises of dinosaurs and insects in the background.
Bongo then saw his pack thrown in a corner. He went to retrieve it and then sat down on a boulder. He unloaded his pack and decided to see the damage done. His Wilderness Survival Guide, water filter, camera, some portable lab equipment and flashlight were perfectly in tact. The other lab equipment fared no better. Most of it was destroyed beyond recognition.
He then sighed and pushed all the destroyed equipment to the side to focus all his attention onto his working equipment. He took his Wilderness Survival Guide and folded it; Yes, specially made equipment can fold for travel; and then placed into his pocket for later use. Bongo then took his water filter and placed it next to the spring and started filtering some water for later use.
From there, he decided to lay back and think. He did not know what to think about, but he just did. He dozed off a bit, and after about three hours, Bongo noted it had become high noon. His stomach rumbled a bit and then rummaged through his sack once again. He then found what he was looking for; a weeks worth of scientific ration. He quickly ate a days worth of it and then thought in his head…
“I only have a weeks worth of food to survive. My science team said that was the time it would take to get samples and data from the land. I need to get food and save up these rations for hard times…” and then Bongo turned his head towards the entrance of his cave. The color of the sky told him that the time was nearing sunset. He placed down his rations and walked to the entrance and poked his head outside.
He climbed the rocks hiding his cave to look at his surroundings. He saw a huge waterfall and river separating the land. There were herds of different dinosaurs walking around and giant forests of trees; and possible food sources. He then ducked quickly enough when he noticed a triceratops pass by. Bongo could feel the ground shake as it walked by. When the rumbling stopped, he poked his head over the rocks again and then noticed something interesting; as his eyes scanned the valley, Bongo noted the dinosaurs seemed to keeping watch. Pteranodons were circling specific spots along the valley; some of the Triceratops was walking along the valley wall, and occasionally saw Apatosaurus’ head pop up through the tree line and scan the valley. Was it just in his imagination, or were they all looking for…Bongo???
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Littlefoot’s Grandfather stood on the highest hill of the valley, scanning the horizon, making sure everything was in check. Ducky’s mother then came up to him.
“Anything new?” he asked.
“We have found nothing yet. We are still looking.” She replied, and went back to search the water.
Mr. Threehorn then came up to Littlefoot’s Grandfather right after his shift to complain.
“I still don’t see why we have to do this! As long as we keep an eye out, we should be safe from this thing!” he argued
“Now we can’t be too certain that the beast has left us alone. We shall keep up these patrols until we are certain that the creature is gone. That is final!” and Littlefoot’s Grandfather walked away, leaving a huffing Topsy behind.
Mr. Threehorn then grumbled and started to walk to his nest for a nights rest. Littlefoot’s Grandfather also went to sleep at his nest and leave the night shift to Littlefoot’s Grandmother. The sun started to fall behind the horizon and the land turned from a grand orange to a smooth dark blue. The day shift lay to rest and the night shift took over. Some were alert and on the lookout for the creature while others just grumbled and did their job waiting for their shift to end.
However, Littlefoot and the gang stayed up for long periods of time, even though Cera objected most of the time. Littlefoot had a plan to capture the beast that roamed the land.
“Ok, remember the plan guys. We are going to lay Treestars and berries in a trail leading into a corner to lure the creature there. Once the creature is stuck in the corner, we will pounce it.” And his head pointed to a dead end in the valley wall.
“And what if the creature eats meat?” Cera asked with a raised eyebrow,
“Well, Petrie agreed to be the bait because he can fly faster than any of us could run. He will fly into the corner and dive straight up and then we jump the creature from behind!”
“Sounds like a good plan to me Littlefoot, yep yep yep!” Ducky agreed heartily.
“Now all we have to do is set up the trail…you got enough Treestars and berries Petrie?” Littlefoot yelled the question to Petrie. Petrie was set out to gathering as many Treestars and berries as he possibly could. He finally dragged in the last Treestar and then huffed in a tired voice,
“Yes, me am done with gathering…stuff for trail” and then landed on his back to catch his breath because carrying so many Treestars to a specific point and being such a small Flier can wear someone down really quick.
“That’s good Petrie. Now, the rest of you, help me lay a trail all around the valley. Spike, you take Petrie home” Ok! Everyone, grab a pile of berries or Treestars and follow me!” Littlefoot said to the group. Spike lifted Petrie onto his head and took him home. Littlefoot and Cera grabbed a mouthful of Treestars while Ducky grabbed as many berries as she could carry and started following Littlefoot all across the valley leaving behind a trail of Treestars and berries. Littlefoot knew this creature was dangerous so he knew he had to work quick and fast. Their trail soon spread all across the valley in hopes that the creature may stumble upon it…
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Bongo’s watch buzzed as its set timer went off at exactly the right minute. He woke up and looked at his watch…yep, 12:00 PM. His watch did go off on time. Bongo knew he had to work quickly. He grabbed his now empty pack, made sure he had his Wilderness Survival guide and set off to forage for food and if he had time, study the wildlife to gather more data.
He took a peek over the rocks to see if any dinosaur was nearby…none. He scurried off and got out his 3D map again. He then threw himself into the brush to make sure he was not seen. Looking at his map, there seemed to be a nice source of food about a mile away from his vicinity. He would run and duck his way over there.
Bongo slowly raised his head and then headed off to the food source.”
Crack! He heard a twig snap! Was that him or was something following him? A shadow! Oh, it was only a tree. I hear a rustle in the leaves! It’s only me…” Bongo thought in his head. Maybe it was his bad encounter with the dinosaurs, or did Bongo start to believe that he was being chased?
He soon arrived at his destination. It was a patch of jungle that was very close to a section of the river. Getting out his Survival Guide and using the ëscan’ program, Bongo managed to collect edible plants and some samples to take back to his cave. He knew he could not be seen or else he would be struck by danger, so he tried to quickly leave, but Bongo accidentally tripped over a tree root and tumbled head first down a small hill. He tumbled down a couple of feet and hit his head on a rotting log. He got knocked out cold again.
It wasn’t until a few minutes later, Bongo woke up. He rubbed his head and was about to get up when he heard a rustle in the brush and then stood as still as he could get. A crazy thought then struck his head! He just remembered that his Wilderness Survival Guide translator could also translate animal tones! Why couldn’t he remember this before! In the future, humans are able to translate animal sounds into the language of the listener, and visa versa, so any pet on board the ship could talk to their owner and the owner could strike a conversation with them. Animals of today could very well be descendants of dinosaurs, so why not give it a shot?
He selected the ëtranslate’ program and out popped a small head set which included ear buds and an attached microphone. Bongo put on the head set, lay low and listened to the conversation…
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“Cera, be quiet! You know our parents would get upset if they saw us up at a time like this!” The voice seemed to belong to a small one, maybe around the age of eleven or twelve year old
“Well it was not my fault I was dragged along!” ëThis must be Cera and the other must be Littlefoot…” Bongo thought in his head. She sounded around the same age as Littlefoot except a little whinier.
“Oh, do not complain Cera. This is for a good cause!” said an unknown excited voice.
“See, Ducky has a point there.” Littlefoot replied. ëSo that last voice must belong so Ducky. Interesting...’
Bongo lifted his head over the brush he was laying in to get a look at these three. He noticed that Cera was a yellow child Triceratops. ëStrange’ Bongo pondered ëI thought that Dinosaurs were naturally colored. Guess we were wrong…’ and then he wrote that in a notebook.
Ducky looked like a duck billed dinosaur. He did not dare use his scan to determine Ducky’s exact race and give away his position. Bongo’s eyes then drifted towards Littlefoot, and then he immediately recognized him as the one who jumped and chased him yesterday.
“Littlefoot, I think we are done here” Ducky said as she dropped the last of her berries.
“Good. We can finally get some night sleep. C’mon everyone, back to your nests.” Littlefoot replied and the group parted their ways. After a couple of minutes, Bongo popped out of the brush and noticed a trail of leaves and berries. He looked down the trail and saw other trails like that too. They all seemed to join at one point at a section of the valley walls.
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“Impossible!” Bongo thought “It can’t be true, but it is! All the dinosaurs seem like they want to…capture me!?!? I can’t deny it though! The patrols, the trails, this just does not make sense! I got to get back to the cave before I am seen!” and with that, Bongo hurried home. Once he got back to his cave and avoided the midnight patrols, he threw his pack full of food and samples into a corner went to his water filter to grab a drink, and then finally lay down on the moss bed.
Bongo’s head spun as he thought about it more and more. He was just a simple science rat in a time travel experiment before and now he is a wanted criminal…by dinosaurs to add to the craziness too!
“I got to get out of here. Yea... After I have salvaged what I can spare from my rubble pile, I will get out of this valley and try to contact home base.” Bongo then went to sleep, and when he woke up, he looked at his watch and it said 8:06 AM. He decided to leave first thing tomorrow morning; but first, salvage what he could.
After packing up food and water, he looked to his rubble pile. After rummaging through it, he found some things that he could fix easily; an Army Officer Issue #072 Laser Pistol, energy cells, an Inter-dimensional Communicator, and his repair kit. After inspecting the damage, he could easily patch up the Laser Pistol by soldering a couple of parts back together and insert new energy cells. It was the Inter-Dimensional Communicator that would be the problem. The main concern was where he would get the supplies needed in order to let him repair the communicator?
By the time his evaluation and packing was over; and a light berry and leaf snack; about fourteen hours have passed. Bongo set his watch alarm to ring at 6:00 AM so he would not be seen by patrol because that was the time when day and night shifts switch. He was just about ready to get home. Too bad Bongo never knew about one tiny little problem…
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Littlefoot, confident that his plan would work and that the creature would be caught soon enough finally said to the gang,
“We are finally done with the trail laying! If the creature is interested enough, it will follow the trail, and the adults will be able to notice it because the trails are mostly out in the wide open” Littlefoot’s message brought a sigh of relief over the gang.
“So what do you want to do now Littlefoot?” asked Cera curiously.
“Well, I was thinking of maybe…a race, tomorrow morning!”
“Sure, we would all like that! Wouldn’t we spike?” Ducky replied eagerly.
“Yes, and I can be your, erm…, eye in the sky!” Petrie declared “I will make sure this is fair race and everyone equal!”
“Then it is settled. Just for fun, we shall have a race along the valley wall starting at Thundering Falls tomorrow morning!”
The gang cheered with joy that they were finally going to have fun after a couple of days of stressful events. There was going to be a race tomorrow morning, but unknown to the gang at the time, they would come face to face with the one thing they feared the most…
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Man oh man oh MAN! :bang
It may not seem like this, but this was one of the hardest chapters to write! Its not because of the subject, no. I found the subject easy and fun to write about. Its school though! I believe my last story post was on Sunday, and right now, it is Friday, 1:31 AM.
That is the main reason why I could not post my story during the week. Sure, I worked on it a bit, but after many hours of homework and studying for state exams, I just had to collapse in my bed and sleep for hours upon hours.
Luckily, I have a month long break once I get off of school today, so I could settle down and finally finish this sucker.
Hope you guys enjoy it more that i did, because it was a pain in my pelvic girdle :p to write this story over the course of five stressful school days. Ugh...
Oh, and for those nitpicking the story to death, I will fix those problems when I FEEL like it! Not to sound selfish or lazy right now, but I need my rest.
Oh, and I got some GOOD/BAD news. The good news is that am leaving for a cruise this Sunday (1/30/11) for a week long cruise. I will also bring my story in a flash drive so I can work on it while I relax to death. the bad news is that I may not be able to post my story for a week due to the unreasonable prices of a cruise ship's internet.
Just thought I would give you a heads up. :goodluck
Nice chapter. Don't worry I'm not nitpicking this story. I fully understand that school can be stressful sometimes and you just need your rest. Lucky! You get to go on a cruise. That's nice. I hope you enjoy yourself. :)
I liked the chapter. Bongo finding out what the gang is doing set me off. But I see the communication isn't a problem now. I look forward to the next chapter. I think the excitments going to pick up.
Update time guys and gals!
Sorry it has been nearly 2 weeks since I updated, but I have legit excuses.
1) The first week, I was on a cruise, and a wonderful at that. Sadly, I could not keep my promise. My flash drive got corrupt and I could not do my story. Plus, I was having so much fun that I did not have any time for adding to the story.
2) After a whole week of cruising, I seemed to have developed a 'Writer's Block'. My mind went from LBT Fanfiction to cruising, and it seems that my brain has not switched back to FanFiction. If you are reading this, PLEASE give me some inspiration to continue my story!
3) Now THIS is the big one boys and girls. During the last 3/4 of the cruise, I seemed to have developed a sickness. It wasn't very big so I laid it off my mind, but when I arrived back onto land, things seemed to get worse. I started developing a cold, fever, chills, constant coughing, dizziness, hallucinations during dreams, stuffy and runny nose, and head aches.
But the most troubling symptom I have is that a virus got into my throat. So now not only do I cough my lungs out (Its an expresion people :p ), but now I can barely talk! When I talk, I start out with a raspy voice and then it slowly fades away until only my mouth moves and a few noises come out. When I laugh, it sounds like a dieing, wheezing rabbit hanging its self from the rafters.
That is really bad in my opinion, because I am an actor in training. Yes, if it involves acting at my school, I sign up for it. Plus, I am a talker. Not the annoying kind though. I can carry out a thoughtful conversation if I wanted to do so. Plus, to make things worse, every time I finish a scentence or two, I cough hard, so I tend to keep my mouth shut.
The sickness is still going on after nearly a week and a half, going onto two. In fact, I got a head ache from typing this post. So have I given up on the story? No. I am just busy with something else outside of the fantasy realm of the Great Valley.
If you want me to finish the story, I guess I will.
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Bongo climbs the valley walls and ends up in the mysterious beyond where he is eaten by a sharptooth. The Valley is rid of the creature and everyone goes back to their world of bad musicals each and every f****** day!!! THE END. :lol
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HAHAHA. Nah, do you really think I would kill off Bongo and put in profanity worse than 'damn'? Nope. That was just for some comedic relief.
But in all seriousness, don't expect a story within the next 5 days or so. Maybe longer. I do not know how long my sickness will last. Hopefully not long because I really want to continue my life beyond my bed, sleeping most of the day, and hot lemon tea and chicken broth.
Ah, I do hope you feel better. :( I can understand why this hasn't been updated in a while, but don't worry, I can wait. Hope your feeling better soon. ;)
[align=center]CHAPTER IV: When Worlds Collide
Bongo got out of his little damp cave, stretched his arms, yawned, and looked around the valley. It was dark and cloudy. He knew he had to get moving because being stuck in pre-historical weather was not a Sunday picnic. Packing his stuff, he head off for a hole in the valley wall. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Suddenly, a sudden rush of wind came up from behind and knocked him to the ground. Looking up, he saw leaves rushing by with thunder and lightning surrounding the valley. Bongo quickly got up and ran for freedom. With each step, however, he seemed to tire and slow down, and the exit seemed to move farther and farther away. A heavy rain then started to pour.
Hearing a sudden roar behind him, Bongo turned around, but couldn’t see anything. A thick fog rolled in. Not being able to see at least five feet in front of him, he kept on twisting and turning around, trying to find the source of the roar. A large tail then swung out of the fog. Luckily Bongo ducked in time. Knowing his one and only defense, we made a move to grab his Laser Pistol. His mind knew his Laser Pistol was attached to his waist, yet his hand grasped nothing. After a mad search on for his Laser Pistol, Bongo realized his pack was missing also. The fog started to roll in closer and closer, and he heard footsteps nearing. An ear-splitting roar came from above. Bongo looked up just in time to see a huge pair of teeth close in on him. His world suddenly got dark…
“WAHHHHH!!!” cried Bongo. He sat up from his mossy bed, arms flailing in the air, hot and cold beads of sweat rolled down his face, and his watch beeping to remind Bongo it was now 6:00. He laid against a wall and put his hands up to his eyes. They were shaking like mad and felt cold. Wiping the sweat off of his soaked forehead, he could feel his heart thumping heart, feeling as if it was going to pop out any second.
After regaining some strength, he swallowed in all his fears, casually moved to the spring and washed his face off. The nightmare he just had both frightened Bongo the more he thought about it but also enticed him to know more about it. Was the dream triggered by previous events? Was it triggered by fear and stress? Or could it possibly a foreshadowing of the future if he remains in the valley?
“Nah…” Bongo thought in his head. “That is superstition, and I have to focus on facts. The only fact right now is to get moving before patrols start up again.” With that thought set in place, he grabbed his pack, drank some water, checked for patrols, and headed off in the direction of his freedom. Fate, however, would soon intervene…
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The great sun came rising over the Great Valley’s walls, shining its warm, bright light over the lush vegetation and cool rivers. The day life started to wake and the night life went to sleep. As for the daily patrols, the night shifts ended and were starting to switch with the day shift patrollers. The Threehorns left the walls of the valley; the Flyers left their perches; and the longnecks retreated from their hilltop posts.
As for the gang, they were also getting up and ready for a day of relaxation. Petrie was doing a few rounds in the air to get him ready; Cera was doing her morning stretches; Spike and Ducky already hit the water to wake themselves up. Littlefoot however, was awake far before the great sun rose. He had a nightmare of the wild creature just standing before him. He could not work out many details because his body was in the shadow, but the creature was in a hunched position and his eyes glowed red. A mist suddenly appeared from the ground, surrounding both Littlefoot and the creature. Soon, both could not see each other anymore. A screech filled the air and the creature jumped and hurled himself through the mists and landed on Littlefoot.
He woke with a startle; bones rattling, teeth chattering, and skin shivering. Littlefoot looked around him, soon realizing it was just another dream. He put it off his mind again and went down to the river to grab a quick drink to cool himself down. Looking up at the sky, he noted that it was still dark but there were no stars out; signaling that the sun would soon rise. Feeling bored and with nothing else to do; and defiantly not wanting to go back to sleep; decided to go for a stroll.
Littlefoot did not know where he was going or when he would return, but since he knew the valley inside and out, he just walked. He walked past dense forests, flowing rivers, and steep mountains, passing an occasional patrol member. Some chatted a bit, others paid no attention. Some talked about how these patrols kept the valley safe from the creature, but most kept on complaining that these patrols were useless and wanted to go back to their simplistic lives. They believed that the creature must have run off from fear.
Pretty soon, Littlefoot noticed the sky to turn orange and headed back home. After thinking about what just happened, could the creature of just run away? It looked like that. Plus, was the creature much of a threat? The more Littlefoot thought about it, the less he worried, and actually cracked a smile. Once he arrived home, the sunlight poured into the valley and warmed Littlefoot’s freezing skin. He then remembered that he and the gang would just play today and not work or anything.
After stretching a bit, he went off to round up the others when he heard something rustle in the bush. Being curious, he investigated. After barely pushing his head through the brush, a group of crazy insects poured out, buzzing around and causing quite a stir. Suddenly, Chomper came rustling out of the brush also, biting away at the bugs flying around. Ruby soon followed. Littlefoot, however, lay a little bit dazed at the encounter, but after realizing who they were finally said,
“Chomper! Ruby! Where have you guys been all this time! I was wondering where you were!”
Ruby was quick to answer that question,”Oh, Littlefoot my friend, hello! Well, since it is my duty to protect and serve Chomper, I have decided to keep ourselves in hiding until the right time has come.”
Chomper, who was still munching away on his food replied,”Mmphm, fRuby an I stchaid bfehin schom pfrants” Chomper then swallowed his meal then continued “and we stayed there ever since until Ruby decided things were safe.”
“Yes, truth is all but said and done” Ruby responded to Chomper. “Since his parents left Chomper in my care, it has been up to me to provide safety to him, and being safe is what makes safety. Thus, we are safe in safety.”
Littlefoot laughed. It was good so see his friends again AND have a day of relaxation.
“Say...” Littlefoot said to break the ice “Me and the gang were going to race each other around the Valley. Care to join?”
“Sounds like fun!” said an enthusiastic Chomper “Although I think I already know who is going to win” With that said, he eyed Ruby and gave off a chuckled.
“Ah, but Little Chomper” Ruby said to Chomper in a mentor voice “The fast may fly off into the great unknown, but the slow know how to avoid it” She also chuckled at this and then turned to Littlefoot “In other words, the gang shall be rounded off and the race shall start!”
With that said, Littlefoot, Chomper, and Ruby all ran off around the Great Valley to get Cera, Spike, Ducky, and Petrie to have some fun after the last few stressful days.
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I am SOOO VERY SORRY if this is considered bumping a topic, but I have had much...stuff...between the time.
Last post I did was on February 11, and this part of the story was added March 13. Basically, that is about a month in difference. Please excuse me. As soon as i got better, I got back to school, Of course, school goes before fun. I decided to work on the story on the first saturday I got back, but I then got hooked on a hobby, so LBT litterally flew out of my head.
Once I got tired of my hobby, I started to wonder, "Is there anything I need to do?". I suddenly remembered The Gang of Five and hurried over to the website. I quickly logged in and found my story about a few pages back from where is originally was last time I checked. I tried to continue the story, but being a month away from LBT has taken its toll. I need to rewatch all the movies once again to get the feel.
I finally managed to put out a portion of the story through Bongo's perspective, becuase personally, I have no idea on how to expand Littlefoot's Gang dialouge, so if you could be so kind, can you give me in filler of some other dinosaurs besides the original cast from the first movie? All I remember is Tria and Ali, but I totally forgot about their personallity, and I have no time to find out on my own also because of project after project after project I have.
So, would you kindly fill me in on characters and their personallities while I work on my schoolwork and try and complete this story? Thank you.
PS: The 'hobby' I got hooked on is actually the game Minecraft (www.Minecraft.net). Once I purchased the full game, I could not put it down. If you play it also, give me a shout out! :exactly
Well, after a long while, I see this has been updated.
As my eye goes, I found a mistakes, a pretty minor one though.
Packing his stuff, he head off for a hole in the valley wall.
That should be headed.
That's basically all I spotted, so I say, good job on that.
I have to say, this chapter was short, sweet, and to the point. It was a pretty good filler chapter. As for dinosaurs other than the original gang and their parents, or grandparents in Littlefoot's case, if you're asking for the main characters other than the original gang, there's Ruby and Chomper, and they appear in the tv series.
I really can't explain their personalities, but I can tell you that Ruby likes to say things backwards in case you didn't already know, she says stuff like, "Hello my friends, my friends, hello."
Again, I have to say this was a nice filler chapter and I hope to see the next chapter up soon. Nice work. ;)
Thanks for pointing that out. Its because I am really tired right now. Just finished a bottle rocket for science class, finished a report for tech, corrected my math homework, and squeezed in a couple of hours in Minecraft. By the time I started writing the story was about 9:15 PM. That is the reason why the chapter is so short and has a couple of mistakes. I am tired and hope to add longer, much more detailed posts. I also plan on revising some old parts to keep them up-to-date. I really hope to work on the chapter on Friday and then post it Saturday/Sunday-ish,
I also noticed that within 10 minutes of my post, you replied. You sure are quick at this stuff :) . Me? It takes me a month to get something done :DD
this is a very interesting fanfiction, I loved reading through what you have so far, and I'm sorry your getting writers block. I hope you can continue this story some more.
Okay, managed to add another section to the story. This time, I really tried my best to make the character dialouge believable. Littlefoot and Chomper were easy to do because they talked normal. Ruby however was a tough egg to crack. (Bad pun is bad :rolleyes: ) As if to think making normal dialouge sound as if they belonged in a real script, Ruby made things 10x even more difficult. Talking backwards, making very wise comments AND still making sense is very tough, and I applaud any other writer who can do it correctly :goodluck
I am still in the planning process on how the gang interacts with Bongo, and not to be the spoiler alert guy, it won't be pretty and may turn a but nasty. :lol Excpect a little bleeding and bleeping from Bongo, but also keep in mind that this will be kept within the PG realm. So you have been warned...
Now please don't be afraid to leave in critcism and constructive comments! The previous ones were really eye opening and I will actually incorperate them into the 'final cut'. The final cut is when I gather all the chapters toghether, revise, add, and edit them into the first chapter post so that people who just want to read the story can read and not flip though all these other posts.
Also, please tell me on how I can improve Ruby's lines! I felt that I either over or under did her dialouge.
@vonboy ; Thanks. New fans are always appreciated as this is my very first fanfiction that I have ever written. More support really makes me want to continue working on the story.
@LBTDiclonius ; My number one customer always likes a return visit :lol: . Thanks for the support once again. You make me glad to write these because I can see that they entertain people like you! Thank you!
I would also like to throw my thanks out to the people who set up the LBT Wiki! Without it, my entire story would of fallen apart! They provided the details about things that I could not get on my own! I would also like to thank the people who set up this Fan Base, for without it, I guess we all wouldn't be here right now! Thanks again guys, even if you are not reading this :wave
What can I say? I be awesome like dat. :p
Heh heh moo. :lol
Not that that's over with, Ruby's dialogue, Ruby's dialogue...okay, so other than how she likes to say everything backwards for some random reason she also likes to say stuff that's basically the same thing just differently. Like this,
"I'm trying to remember something...but, I'm not sure what it is that I'm trying to remember..."
Or sumethin' like that... :p
If you need any help, just PM me and I'll do my very best! And, you're welcome. ;)
(...continued from last story post because of distance betweeen it and the bottom of the page)
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Faster and faster Bongo ran, ducking and covering behind every tree, boulder, and bush he could find. The sun was rising higher and higher. He knew he had to hurry and get out of the valley before it was too late. Bongo checked his watch; 6:43; better hurry. Every step he took seemed to wear Bongo down more and more. His pack was already weighed down enough, but the uneven terrain with the plant vegetation and mud holes made everything one hundred times worse. Every once and a while, Bongo would get bruised a bit from running into a hard leaf or tripping over a log or root, slowing him down even more.
Ducking behind a boulder, he saw his ticket to freedom; a small passageway that was naturally carved into the rock! A little steep, but he would manage. After peeking his head over the boulder to see if anyone saw him, he ran for cover behind a rock wall that was right next to the exit. He saw that is was a near vertical cliff that went up about 28 feet before going off to a smooth ledge that ducked and slithered out of the valley.
Although not being an expert at mountain climbing, he did see some cracks in the face wall that he could grasp easily with his hands and feet. After finding a good footing, he placed his right arm up; then his left. Right, left, right, left, the pattern went on as Bongo kept on scaling the cliff with no protective gear or harnesses on. If he fell, it would mean the end for him! While on the way, Bongo cut himself on a piece of jagged rock. Dangling by one hand, he tried to have his other hand grasp another crack so he doesn’t fall, because at his height, any type of fall would result in a death.
Just when his other hand was slipping and the cut one was trying to grasp something else, he here a little roar behind him, then a SMACK! Suddenly, the sound of splintering wood came from behind. Just when Bongo turned his head around, he saw a giant, rotting tree falling; cracking in fact from its stump; and it was…heading straight…FOR HIM!
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The gang was finally all together for a day of fun; Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Spike, Petrie, Chomper, and Ruby. All were rearing to go. It was every man and woman for themselves.
“Ok, everyone set?” yelled Littlefoot as they got to their starting point. He knew how things would go; He would play normally, Cera will shove her way to victory, Spike will attach Spike’s favorite food on a stick and put it in front of him, Petrie flying his way to the end, and since Chomper wasn’t much of a runner, he would be riding Ruby’s back.
“Alright…” Littlefoot said one last time, eyeing everyone “Remember the path? Follow the Great Valley’s walls until you reach Thundering Falls. First one to get there wins! Ok, ready…” Everyone got down in their running position “Set…” the tension was so thick in the air you could just choke on it “…GO!” And with that final word, everyone took off.
Littlefoot, using his knowledge of running in the past used it to his advantage; Cera, pushed and shoved her way up to second place; Spike going very fast trying to get his food with Ducky hanging on for dear life; Petrie trying to catch up because of an opposite blowing wind; and as for Ruby, this was all fun, but a bit too easy for she is a natural born runner.
It was Ruby in the lead, then Cera, suddenly Littlefoot, Spike almost caught up! OH! Cera rammed her way up again! Petrie was trying with all his might to get ahead, but the opposing winds kept him back. Suddenly, a rough gale of wind surged from behind the gang’s race. Petrie used this to his advantage, taking off like a bullet right in front of everyone; including Ruby and Chomper!
Petrie gave a great laugh at his luck but then suddenly stopped and got a horrified expression on his face. While flying past everyone, he saw in the shadows of a boulder…the creature!
“Oh no!” Petrie cried out, and he zoomed down to ground level and deliberately got in the way of everybody.
“Stop everyone! Stop!” putting out his wings to alert them of the danger ahead. Everyone stopped suddenly, but ended up in a pig mangled pile.
An angry Cera finally poked her head out of the pile just to yell,” What was that for Pea brain!? Everything was going well until you stopped us all! What’s the matter? Afraid you were going to lose?”
“I must agree” Ducky added “That was the fastest I have seen Spike run in a long time, oh yes yes yes!” And she then pointed to an upside down Spike now munching away happily on his food on a stick.
A still terrified Petrie then exclaimed,” T-T-The thing! The beast! The creature! I did see with me very eyes!” He then flew over to a very dense piece of brush. Everyone followed suit. Poking their heads though the vegetation, they all gasped. Ruby looked on curiously; Cera had her jaw open; Ducky hid behind Spike and Spike buried his head; Chomper growled at the creature; and as for Littlefoot, you could just see rage and anger building up within his eyes. His heart told him to charge in and end all the misery the creature has caused, but his brain told him that he might endanger the others. He had to think quickly.
The creature started scaling the Valley wall, heading for a hole the thing could escape in. If he went to get adults, it would be too late, but if they just charged in, they could get hurt. Looking around, Littlefoot did some quick thinking. Knowing Cera’s uncanny ability to knock stuff over, he saw a dead tree still attached to its stump.
“Psst, Cera” Littlefoot whispered “See that old tree? Knock it in the direction of the creature. Maybe that will knock it down.” Cera obeyed, not wanting to see the powers the creature could do to them.
Quietly getting out of the brush and behind the rotting old tree, she let off her natural charge cry and hit the tree just in the right spot. Luckily at that same moment, the creature seemed to lose its grip and was slipping. Just when the creature was about to regain control, the dead piece of timber splintered away from the rotting base and came crashing down upon the creature. Splinters and bits of rock flew everywhere…
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Much as I liked this chapter I noticed quite a few mistakes here.
After finding a good footing, he placed his right arm up; then his left.
That shouldn't be a semi cloon you only use semi colons when the words after are a full sentence. "Then his left" that really doesn't sound like a very full sentence to me.
He knew how things would go; He would play normally
That should be a lower-case "H"
the tension was so thick in the air you could just choke on it.
The "T" should be upper-case and there should be a period at the end.
Littlefoot, using his knowledge of running in the past used it to his advantage; Cera, pushed and shoved her way up to second place; Spike going very fast trying to get his food with Ducky hanging on for dear life; Petrie trying to catch up because of an opposite blowing wind; and as for Ruby, this was all fun, but a bit too easy for she is a natural born runner.
No semi colons should be in there, they should be comma's.
“Stop everyone! Stop!" putting out his wings to alert them of the danger ahead.
That should be upper-case.
Ruby looked on curiously; Cera had her jaw open; Ducky hid behind Spike and Spike buried his head; Chomper growled at the creature; and as for Littlefoot, you could just see rage and anger building up within his eyes. His heart told him to charge in and end all the misery the creature has caused, but his brain told him that he might endanger the others. He had to think quickly.
They should be comma's as well.
And that be all. :p
Other than those mistakes, nice work on this. I'm wondering what's going to happen to Bongo in the next chapter this should be exciting anyhoo keep up the great work! ;)
Thanks for pointing out my mistakes. I had 3 other essays I had to finish before I started to work on the story, and after working through 3 essays straight, things can get a little bit jumbled. You know what I mean? :unsure:
Work is in progress for the final segment of this chapter.
Boy do I know what you mean. :rolleyes
Anyway, glad to hear it. ;)
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After seeing the old tree tumbling down towards him, Bongo made a mad dash for victory. After finally grabbing hold of something, he climbed up the wall like crazy. After reaching the top, he heard a loud SMASH and CRUNCH! The top of the tree has landed just feet from where Bongo once was.
Huffing and gasping for breath, Bongo collapsed against a rock wall sitting down. Grabbing a canteen filled with spring water, a drank some to quench his thirst, poured a little on his forehead to cool himself down, and finally looked at his cut hand. It wasn’t too bad because it was just a slight cut. However, it stung like crazy. Bongo poured some water onto it to ease the pain and grabbed a piece of cloth from his pack to wrap around it. Once he bandaged himself up, he stood up and peaked around the corner to see if the dinosaurs were still there…
“Oh no, I have to get out of here!” Bongo yelled and he took off in a fast pace because once he peeked his head around the corner, all he saw were a pack of a variety of dinosaurs climbing on the fallen tree that had made a sort of bridge from the ground to where he was.
Bongo had absolutely NO idea where he was heading, but what he did know that getting away as fast as he could was the most important. He soon, however, regretted that decision. He did not have the time to plan out which path to take. The one he chose was very rough and rugged with many rocks, ranging from the big ones that block the path to the little ones that can make you lose traction. His body was not acquainted to this terrain as his speed was no better than a sloth going at top speed. The dinosaurs however, with their big feet that had perfect traction, were going faster than he was and were soon catching up. Looking back, he could recognize the little dinosaur that nearly nicked him on that night that he traveled back. That dinosaur was in the lead, and he looked angry!
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After the great tree fell down because of Littlefoot’s quick thinking and Cera’s hard head, they hoped to see some results. After the last of the debris cleared away, they saw nothing but a clear rock wall and a fallen tree trunk.
“Dang! Where did it go?!” Littlefoot exclaimed in defeat.
“Oh, so close we were, but we did not make it, oh no no no.” Ducky sighed and then proceeded to lie on Spike’s back to relax.
“Yea, great job Littlefoot” Cera mocked as she was still removing some splinters in her forehead and horns after she rammed the tree “That sure captured the creature”
Just about everyone sighed in defeat, for they knew that that was their only chance to catch the creature, and they failed at it. Everyone that is…except for Ruby.
Instead of lying in the shadows of the trees, Ruby was still standing up, inspecting the scene. After walking around the fallen tree and looking at the rock wall, she finally went back to her friends and happily exclaimed,
“My friends fear not, for I have some good news that will cheer you up. Yes, the creature has escaped, but he it has been wounded…” Ruby then pointed out the light blood marks that showed where Bongo had placed his cut hand on “…and from the sources I am gathering, this creature is smarter than we may know, and any smart creature knows to heal any wound before going any further. I suspect that the creature…lies right behind a wall or boulder or something”
“And what if it isn’t and it just got away” Cera replied lazily as she rolled around in a soft meadow patch.
Littlefoot, however, still wanting to catch it, urged the rest of the gang to go. Finally, with a sigh and some mumbling,” I can’t believe I am doing this…” they headed off onto the log with Littlefoot leading the way.
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Somehow, Bongo managed to outrun the dinosaurs out of sight by taking a few shortcuts, such as jumping over boulders, sliding down instead on inching down steep hills, and so on. He then realized that he was lost so he quickly got out his Wilderness Survival guide and pulled up the map option. Not being able to hear the device, he plugged in his headset and listened. After a few seconds of scanning, he saw horrifying results. For one thing, the path he took is one way because it ends abruptly on a cliff, and two, the dinosaurs were just a few feet away.
Suddenly turning around, he saw a bunch of adolescent dinosaurs.
“Hehe, strange…” Bongo thought in his head. He knew he was in mortal danger, but he just could not put it off is mind,” Colored dinosaurs eh? Well, that is something they are going to have to add to the textbooks”. His mind then quickly switched back to peril when he saw all the dinosaurs start to creep in closer and closer. Bongo suddenly remembered his translator he had. Quickly switching to it, he listened into their conversations that they were having as they crept closer and closer.
“So what do we do with it? Call the adults?” a timid and scared voice whispered.
“B-B-but what if it does something to us? I do not want!” cried another uneasy voice.
“Nah, I say we just end it right here and THEN tell the adults. We will be praised as heroes!” A bossy voice rang out.
“Now, hastiness is not a solution, but being hasty is one too. For once, I am uncertain” sounded an intelligent yet still confused voice.
“Ruby, I suggest we go with Cera’s plan. The longer we wait, the more time IT has to strike” The little leader said in a steady tone. Bongo swallowed hard, still backing up more and more. He soon realized that he had backed up all the way to the very dead end of the cliff. Almost falling off, he caught himself on a rock and steadied himself back on the conversation.
“CHOMPER! GO!” the Apatosaurus yelled, and suddenly, a little Tyrannosaurus Rex popped out of nowhere. This scared the living daylights out of Bongo and he fell back in terror. For an adolescent, the thing sure could fight! The little head kept on popping in front of Bongo’s face. He could clearly see the razor sharp teeth. Bongo evaded these tactics by rolling. The other dinosaurs then tried to get in on the fight. It was just brutal to him.
He was rammed in the back by the Triceratops, but his back did not bread because his pack protected him. The Pteranodon kept on zooming in and out, grasping and painfully puling at Bongo’s hair. The Apatosaurus kept hitting Bongo with his tail, and when that little bugger swung, he swung HARD. He hit Bongo right on the knees and Bongo just collapsed there.
Bongo was just curled up in a ball being beat up…by dinosaurs! He could not believe this! He came back in time just to do scientific research but is now going to end up dead by a bunch of dinosaurs that have not even reached full age! He just covered his face with his hands, trying to protect himself. Suddenly, as if he were being dipped in a pool of lava, a sharp, searing pain came up on Bongo’s right leg. Fearing for the worst, he slowly removed his hands and saw a horrifying discovery that made his heart sink to new lows; the little Tyrannosaurus Rex had just bitten him right on the leg! This seemed to of even surprised the other dinosaurs for they just froze also, faces in awe. The little Rex still had his sharp teeth impaling his leg!
Out of self defense, Bongo landed a sucker punch right to the dinosaur’s nose. This knocked him back several feet. The dinosaurs then crowded around the Tyrannosaurus. Bongo looked back at his leg. Blood gushed from the big wound. It was as if someone had taken an ice cream scooped and scooped out some skin and bits of flesh. This made Bongo cry hard. He knew that if this would was to remain open, he would die from prehistorical diseases in just a matter of days. Dousing the open wound with a lot of water, he reached into his pack and got out the few medical supplies that survived the devastation from the time machine incident.
He finally found what he was looking for; a giant rag that was about the size of a large white handkerchief. He put some sort of medical powder onto it and placed it on top of his wound. It stung like fire mixed in with an African Bee attack with large nails instead of stingers. After tying it, the handkerchief soon started to turn red. He looked back at the dinosaur gang, all still huddling around the knocked out Tyrannosaurus. Bongo took the opportunity and started to painfully slide away. It was not the best idea, but it was the only one he could do at that point. The ground was skewed with jagged rocks, uneven surfaces, and every here and there, blood. Using all his strength, he pulled himself into an upright position up against a rock and tried to think things over.
His whole body ached and his wound burned and stung every second. Looking up, he saw that the little Apatosaurus was charging him at a fast pace yelling out something that sounded like a war cry. Bongo knowing his condition, he may not survive the impact. Bracing for impact, he closed his eyes and turned his head away. All of a sudden, he heard a thud and saw a small fight between the dinosaurs. From what he saw, he could tell that the Triceratops and that Stegosaurus have pinned down the Apatosaurus. Using his translator, he listened in on the conversation.
“Littlefoot, are you crazy!” Yelled the Triceratops “I may have a grudge against other dinosaurs, but even I would not injure an already badly! This may sound strange, but you are starting to become like me and I am starting to become like you!”
“But Cera!” yelled the Apatosaurus” You are making a mistake! That thing is dangerous and is a threat to us AND the Great Valley!” He tried to break free but the combined weight of the Triceratops and Stegosaurus was too heavy to break free from. Bongo then turned his head to see the ping feathery one coming towards him.
“Um, c-can you understand me?” she replied in a timid voice” I just want to see if we can make contact, because you look like nothing my eyes have ever laid on before.”
Using the translator, he finally got to speak with one of the dinosaurs for the first time in the history of man kind” Yes, I can…urjgh… talk, although it is ve…ack…very painful” Every time he spoke, it felt like a ton of metal just fell on his stomach.
“Sorry I am to your wounds that you have” She replied, examining the flesh bites” He did not really mean it. It was just natural instinct for him. I don’t think we really introduced ourselves. My name is Ruby. It pleasures me to meet you.”
“Well, I am Bongo. I am charmed to meet you too.” Bongo finally cracked a smile as this was the first friendly face he has seen here “You seem very inquisitive. Let me guess, you are very determined to learn about something you don’t know, so you came here to gain some knowledge that you will use back home.”
“I must say to that, yes. I did come here to learn more because of troubles back home. You seem to be very intelligent. We could carry off a conversation for a while, yes?” Ruby responded. She seemed very interested in Bongo for a few reasons. For one thing, he was a new unknown creature in an environment that he is unfamiliar with. Studying how Bongo interacts with the other animals could help her now how to react with the animals back home. Secondly, Bongo seemed very well educated; maybe even more educated than Ruby because they saw each other eye to eye in metamorphic terms.
“So Ruby…*cough cough*…can you introduce me to your friends? I feel like we should make ends meet after the…unwanted…encounter” Bongo asked because he realized that he has now established a friendly contact within the group, he was hoping that this could improve relationship status and actually gain more allies in this rough world.
“Sure, it would gladden me to help you” Ruby accepted this and called over the rest of the gang. Petrie and Ducky came over as soon as possible, and Littlefoot had calmed down enough to finally walk towards Bongo without hitting him, although he did have the feeling to do so. Cera and Spike followed.
“Ok, everyone, I know we all had a bit of a rough encounter” Ruby told them all” But I have talked to him and he is actually friendly and he wants harm not done anymore. So, everyone, this is Bongo” She looked over at Bongo,” Bongo, this is Cera, the Threehorn, Spike the Spiketail, Petrie the Flyer, Ducky the Swimmer, Chomper the TAME Sharptooth, and Littlefoot the Longneck.”
“Hi everybo..ack, the pain…everybody” Bongo said to all of them.
He then got five ëHello’s back and one head nodding. The only one not doing anything was Littlefoot. All he was doing was angrily staring at Bongo as if he was a diseased rat that should be exterminated.
“Hey there, my name is Cera. Sorry for the trouble earlier Bongo” Cera told him. She sounded very sorry for her actions,” I normally do not act like this, but after seeing you injured, I knew we had to stop.”
“So, what was the reason for attacking me? That was really painful you know. My skin is not as hard as yours.” Bongo questioned. He then groaned a bit because one of his legs fell asleep and the other one had the painful wound.
“Well, we were persuaded by somebody” She put an emphasis on ësomebody’ and looked angrily at Littlefoot. It was obvious that she did not want to take the blame” I really hope you do get better Bongo” and she ended her discussion there.
“Um, hello there Bongo. Me name is Petrie. Me a flier, although I is not so good, but I practice a lot though” Petrie seemed very nervous while talking to him and he shook and shivered at every sentence.
“Nervous are you?” Bongo asked and laughed,” There is nothing to be nervous about. I don’t want to hurt anyone on purpose. Plus, I bet you fly very good when you want to” and he nudged Petrie a bit as encouragement.
Petrie seemed to like this and then said a little more triumphantly,” Yes, guess you could say that” and he flied off to a rock to perch on.
Ducky then jumped up onto Bongo’s lap and then happily introduced herself.
“Hello there, I am Ducky and you are Bongo. You seem pretty nice even after all that we have done, and I like you for that, yep yep yep!” She said enthusiastically.
“My my, someone always looks on the bright side of life. You are very cheery, and from personal experience, being cherry always brings in good things. Keep it up, and you don’t have to be sorry for the fight…augh…” Bongo replied when his leg started to feel funny. Ducky jumped off and Bongo started to massage his leg with the wound until the aching stopped again.
Chomper then proceeded up to Bongo with his head down and his muzzle a bit bloody. He then said in a sad tone,” Bongo, I am very, terrible sorry for taking a bite out of your leg. I am truly, very sorry.” Bongo then noticed a tear starting to form in his eye. Feeling sorry for the poor lad, bongo said,
“Don’t feel sorry. It is just natural instinct for your type to bite, no matter what” Bongo then wiped that tear out of Chomper’s eye. He then took the rag he put on his cut hand off and used it to clean up Chomper’s muzzle a bit,” It should be I who is sorry. I did not mean to hit so hard. It was just natural instinct I did. Keep that chin up and don’t worry about me. Just be glad that we are both still healthy. As for me, I will get better.” Bongo then pointed his finger to the wound and patted Chomper on the head. Chomper felt better with himself and went to Ruby for comfort.
The actual truth was that Bongo would heal, but he would still carry the scars of that bite mark. Plus, he did not feel fine. The pain was still marginally growing larger and larger, but he felt bad for Chomper, so he lied about it so that the little chap wouldn’t feel so bad.
Bongo’s eyes finally turned to Littlefoot. Littlefoot was however staring away. Bongo could see the wrinkles in his face forming crossed eyes and he could also see a slight frown. To break the ice, Bongo finally said,” So your name is Littlefoot huh? Nice to meet you, and sorry for all the commotion that I caused back…ouch, it stings…back in the valley. What do you say that we make it up?”
Littlefoot’s attitude did not change however. In a slightly irritated voice, he turned to Bongo and half yelled,” You may of gained my friends trust, but I know what you did! I knew what you were going to do! Although it doesn’t seem like it, you are plotting against all of us! You are a threat and must be dealt with!”
Bongo was a bit taken back by this, but managed to regain his composure,” Look, I can explain all the trouble to you. You see…”
However, Bongo never got to finish explaining because at that point, the ground started to shake, but not in the way of an earthquake, but as if someone with really big feet kept on taking steps. Fear and panic started to run amongst everyone. The entire gang was starting to try and escape in any direction they could go. Bongo being confused and partially immobilized kept asking for help. Ruby then came to the aid. She let Bongo drape one arm over her body for support.
“Thanks Ruby, but what the heck is going on here!?!?”
“Bongo, we need to get out of here. It is dangerous. We must escape before it is too la…” Ruby did not get to finish her sentence either because of a terrible disaster. All the ground shaking caused a landslide. It cut off Bongo and Ruby from the rest of the gang with a wall of huge rocks and boulders. Chomper was also part of that group.
“Guys! Get help! Quick! We cannot move from this point! GET HELP!” Bongo yelled at the top of his lungs. Everyone else on the other side of the landslide wall obeyed and went off to get someone. Ruby’s face was stricken with grief, for she knew what was happening.
“Bongo” Ruby said,” Whatever you do, letting go is not an option! Letting go is not an option we can take!” Ruby then proceeded to turn Bongo around to find another way, but it was too late. Two Velociraptors came out of nowhere; one was a blue grey and the other tree green.
“Oh no, Bongo, things got complicated.” Ruby told Bongo in a frightened tone “These two Velociraptors have never left me alone, even as a child. We need to get out of here!” With no other place to go, she and Bongo backed up into a corner with the two Velociraptors closing in…
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Good news everyone! I have finally completed a HUUUGE update to the story. Spanning over 5 pages in Microsoft word and taking many days to complete, it is (almost) finally over!
This is my favorite chapter so fat. In fact, in my opinion, I think it pars with Chapter II. It was enjoyably fun to write about, especially with the interactions between Bongo and the Gang. This is also the most dialogue heavy addition yet!
Also, I warned ya before it get a bit violent here. Funny story actually.
The part where Chomper bit off a piece of Bongo's leg was actually inspired by a dream I had when I was very little. Just to space the details, lets just say I accidentally stabbed a pencil through my foot. In went clean through and when I pulled the pencil out, it left a clean hole right through my foot :x . Yea, strange how dreams like that can influence the way you do things, like with me writing this story.
And if you follow the TV show, I think you know which big character is being introduced into the story in the next update...*wink wink*
Now I know LBTDiclonius will be the first to reply, and I hope to get a lot of positive feedback from you all because I really put a lot of time, effort, and even heart into that long chapter. It is not even finished yet!
I will try and finish up Chapter IV as soon as possible, and ehy, I didn't lie. I DID say that the meeting between Bongo and the gang was going to be of epic proportions.
PS: Constructive Critisism is wanted. I feel like fixing up some things, but not sure what I want to fix though. :goodluck
Very good chapter. I loved Reading your verson of a human/dino encounter too. I had the idea for my fanfiction before I read yours, but yours did inspire me to try to write my own. Thanks for that.
I'm really interested in seeing how a human is going to affect the lbt universe in your fiction, or if that is even going to happen. I hope you continue writing it, because I want to read it!
Well, I would've been, if my stupid internet didn't die on me. <_< Anyways, looks like vonboy beat me to it! Now, for some errors.
It was as if someone had taken an ice cream scooped and scooped out some skin and bits of flesh.
That should just be scoop.
And that's really all I found for errors so good job.
Okay, that was a pretty bloody meeting, if I do say so myself, but a good one nonetheless. Anyways, nice work and update soon. ;)
Thanks. I will fix that error as soon as possible.
As for the blood, I felt that the LBT universe had to mature a bit for this episode. I mean, in the first movie, Littlefoot's mother had a piece of flesh ripped out of her, but as the sequals progressed, the movies became sugar-coated and care free. I tried to bring back the maturity of the first film while keeping in mind that the sequals and TV series must exsist. I hope I pulled it off.
Please excuse me, but I am going to take a break from writing the story, so don't expect an update in 2 weeks, cause I need to take a break. I need to take a small break from the LBT Universe...
BUT to keep your interest, I will say (SPOILER ALERT) Littlefoot gets in a jam, Bongo gets more bruised trying to save Littlefoot, and a fan favorite girl returns for a cameo ;)
[align=center]...“Ruby…” Bongo then said in an almost demanding but very cautious tone,” I want you to get out of here. Forget about what I have just said about not letting go. Leave me and save yourself.”
Ruby looked at Bongo, completely astonished and tried to reason,” No! Can’t another way be chosen? It cannot end this way!”
Bongo silenced Ruby with a hand and gently said,” Ruby, I know we have just met and I know both of us are very interested in each other and none of us want to make these sacrifices, but one of us has to do it. I have an injured leg and cannot go anywhere. You on the other hand are fully healthy AND from what I have heard, you are the fastest runner ever. You have a bigger chance of survival than I do. Don’t risk your life for one whose life is nearing the end anyways. My time is soon over, but you are still young and have a life to live. Go and save yourself!” Bongo then let go of Ruby’s body and painfully hit the floor. His leg felt like it was going to explode any second.
Ruby knew he could not just leave him there. There would have been so much they could have learned from each other! Bongo noticed she was still standing her and gave an encouraging push and yelled,” JUST GO! LEAVE ME HERE!” RENDEVOUZ WITH THE OTHERS!” She then finally agreed in her head and sped off like a bullet over the rock wall to try and find the others of the gang. If Ruby knew this would be the last time they would speak, she would have regretted that decision.
T
he Velociraptors were thinking of chasing after Ruby, but after seeing the easy meat right in front of them, they knew who their target was, and started to come in closer.
“Alright you…arghck… you prehistoric jocks, I am ready!” Grabbing rock with one hand and a dead tree branch in the other nearby, Bongo made the counter attack. When the grey one made the first lunge, Bongo jammed the rock in its mouth, and with his good leg, kicked it right in the stomach. When the green Velociraptors jumped in for the kill, Bongo twirled his stick around and hit the dinosaur right in the jaw. A couple of teeth came flying out. Bring the stick back up to eye sight, he hit the Velociraptors in the stomach and pushed it away. Both of them retreated back into the rocky hillsides with no further disruption.
After the fight and some heavy breathing later, Bongo grabbed his sides in excruciating pain. It seems that one of the two made a swipe for Bongo’s stomach and got a hit right on the side of his body. Trying to find a cloth to cover up the wound in his bag, Bongo saw the Velociraptors again, but they were running away from him and around a cliff side trail. They soon reached the other side of a deep chasm and proceeded to go down what seemed to be a not so steep incline to the bottom. He then heard the faint cries of “Help! I am stuck!” Somebody help me!” from the bottom of the chasm. Curiosity got the best of Bongo, and he slowly and painfully crawled to the edge of his cliff. At the bottom was where the landslide has ended, into a great big bubbling tar pit, and in that tar pit laid Littlefoot, stuck in the tar, unable to move!
From what Bongo could gather, the landslide caused by some shaking in the ground not only separated Bongo from the rest of the gang, but also swept Littlefoot to the bottom of the chasm into a tar pit. From Bongo’s view, it seemed that Littlefoot was in a real jam. He pushed and pulled as hard as he could, but he could not unstick himself. The tar stuck to Littlefoot’s body like glue, holding him down as fate led him to impending doom.
Even after all the pain that Littlefoot put Bongo through, he knew that it was just not right to leave him there. Bongo had also observed that everyone in the gang he met was very close to Littlefoot, and his death may trigger something bad. He knew something had to be done. He knew he had to act!
The next thing Bongo did was courageous and stupid. Bongo put his stick and rock into his pack and proceeded to drag his body over to the edge of a steep incline and got himself positioned so that his feet were in front of him.
“I really hope this works” Bongo prayed for he then slid down the incline. Lucky for him, the incline was covered with gravel, making the slide downward much easier. Nether less, it was a very painful journey downward. While sliding down, Bongo kept one hand behind him to steady him and another in front holding his injured leg.. The pebbles and rocks he slid over tore and ate away at his pants, causing some very deep and rough cuts on the bottom of both his legs. Bongo bit the bottom of his lip and his eyes started to water. The pain was excruciating. He was never taught in the ways of this physical labor in his training for the mission. His body was just unprepared for all the pain and torment. He just felt like having a melt down.
Reaching top speed, he zoomed all the way down. Small chunks of gravel and rocks tumbled behind him. The tar pit with Littlefoot struggling in it was getting closer and closer, and so were the two Velociraptors, Everything was going according to plan but then he noticed that he was coming down too fast feet first. He knew he had to get into a sideways position to prevent shattering his feet. Wriggling back and forth, he tried to get himself sideways without his body going berserk and flailing in the air doing barrel rolls. Sadly, Bongo did not get to do it in time. He hit his left leg and he felt that it had just shattered. His body hit the floor hard, and thanks to the momentum he had gained, he did a couple of barrel rolls before landing into the tar pit Littlefoot was trapped him.
Littlefoot saw Bongo land into the tar pit. He knew he had no other choice,” Bongo! Help me! I know I was mean to you and hurt you, but please, forgive me! I can’t get out! I am stuck!”
“Look…look…” Bongo said in a sort of soothing but strained voice. He was trying to calm him down even though death was right around the corner,” We have no time for sweet talk! Just move your body into that position…there we go…and on three, push your feet down as hard as possible”
As soon as Littlefoot turned his body so that his side faced Bongo, Bongo took both his hands and placed them on Littlefoot’s side.
“Ok” Bongo yelled as he readied himself,” Ready? One…two…THREE!”
With that, Bongo and Littlefoot pushed hard. After a few nail biting moments, Littlefoot popped his two front feet out. With those, Littlefoot grabbed the edge of the tar pit and pulled himself out.
“Now forget about me and go! I will catch up! Don’t worry about me!” Bongo yelled off to Littlefoot who was then trying to get Bongo out for saving him but almost accidentally got back in because of that
“Bu…but I just can’t leave you here!” Littlefoot exclaimed as he tried to grab Bongo’s pack to try and pull him out.
“Just leave me here! Save yourself!” the two Velociraptors were now at the bottom of the chasm and making a rapid approach to the two of them
“Bu…”
“GO!!!”
Littlefoot then set off out of the chasm. He looked back and realized what he has done. Not only has he injured Bongo badly and may of caused emotional trauma on him, but he has also finally realized that Bongo meant no harm to begin with. Now the whole valley is on high alert for Bongo and to top it all off, Bongo now risked his own life to save his. Littlefoot knew he could not go back. For one thing he would be torn to shreds, and two, Bongo never wanted Littlefoot hurt, so he sacrificed himself. Not knowing what to do, all Littlefoot could yell out was,
“Thank you Bongo! I will try to get help! I am very sorry for what I did” and with that said, he took off trying to find the other, or even better…help.
Back at the tar pit, Bongo was struggling. Both his feet were now rendered useless for one had flesh torn out of it and the other shattered into a million pieces. All he had left was his upper torso and beyond. One hand was trying to reach for his Laser Pistol and the other hand was struggling unstuck itself from the tar. Finally grabbing his Laser Pistol, he got it eye to eye for aiming and took a shot at the moving raptors. A bright red laser about 6 inches in length came out. It missed. Firing another shot, he nearly fried the raptor’s feet, but it missed also. The third shot, this time, only hit the green one’s tip of the tail. It screamed in agony for the tip was now seared and all that was left was a charred tip. This not only made the green one much angrier, but it also made it go much faster in rage.
Bongo then carefully steadied himself and aimed for the head. Pulling the trigger…nothing happened. It appeared that tar had jammed itself into the barrel. Throwing the laser pistol back into pack angrily, he grabbed his stick and prepared for a very tough battle. The Velociraptors were now just circling Bongo, waiting for who was going to make the first move. Suddenly, the gray one made a jump. Bongo hit him right across the face with his stick and the blue Velociraptor fell into the pit with Bongo. The green one much smarter and made a swipe that landed one right on Bongo’s head. It caused a gash to appear and a small trickle of blood started to roll down his forehead. Nearly unconscious again, he lay down on his back and looked up at the sky. It was starting to transition from mid-day to dusk.
He knew his life would end right here. He started off as a courier to gather information about the past and ends up dieing a very gruesome death by Velociraptors. The very sad part would be that his real death may go unknown by the humans that sent him back to begin with. Accepting his fate, he finally thought of something good, he had just saved a life from certain doom and exchanged its for his. With this nice though, Bongo closed his eyes and soon slipped into an unconscious state…
After a few seconds, he regained some consciousness and opened his eyes. Holding his head up, he noticed that the two Velociraptors were running away, covered in tar and also cowering in fear. Looking up, he then saw a brownish/tan
Apatasaurus look down upon him. “How strange…” Bongo thought to himself. He then noticed that was being pulled out. Looking behind him, he saw that Littlefoot, still covered in tar, had returned with the rest of the gang. Cera, Spike, Ruby, and Littlefoot were all tugging at his backpack and shirt pulling him out. After a few agonizing minutes of the tar not wanting to let go of both his injured legs, he was finally out. Everyone gasped a sigh of relief and Bongo was glad that the whole ordeal was over.
“Thank you…all for he…helping me.” Bongo’s breaths were short and hard,” I would have been dead meat if it wasn’t for you guys.” Looking back at the brown Apatosaurus, Bongo asked,” So, who is your friend?”
“Him?” Littlefoot replied,” He is my long lost father, Bron.”
Bron looked down upon Bongo,” So, you are Bongo, huh? I have heard many stories about you. Seems like you got yourself in some pretty dangerous jams.”
“Bongo, looking down at his shattered leg, the other leg which had a piece of flesh removed, both still covered in tar, and felt his head for the gash and wiped some blood off of his head, finally said,” Yea, I did get into some pretty dangerous j…jams” Bongo then chucked a bit but then grabbed his head in pain.
Cera, being concerned about Bongo’s deteriorating health asked,” Bongo, what’s wrong? Do you need anything?””
“I…I am feeling dizzy a…and light headed.” Bongo then showed them all the blood coming from his head and leg,” I ne…need water. We must get back to the valley qui…ck. I am about to pa…pass out again…”
Everyone was very concerned and knew they all had to hurry back to the Great Valley before it was too late. Bron carefully bit onto Bongo’s pack and put him gently on his back. Petrie and Ducky then went onto Bron’s back to make sure that Bongo did not fall. The rest followed. Time was of the essence here, for Bongo was in deep trouble now. Blood loss had made him go unconscious, but before he did go, he looked down upon the gang, realizing that finally, in one of time’s harshest environments, he finally got a warm welcome. After that last happy though, he blacked out with a smile…
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Well...this was...to say the least..bloody. But bloody in a good way. Really didn't spot any errors or mistakes in this one. Kudos to you!
Oh shiznit, seems Bongo's in a real jam now. Glad Littlefoot finally trusts him and you even brought Bron in there. Nice job on this c hapter, update soon!
Like i said, I understand you need some rest. I really want to read more, but I can wait.
:lol: @ LBTDiclonius
Yes. I felt that I handled it maturely enough since it is not a blood bath of guts and gore (Like some other stories that I have read...oh god, Topsy's guts skewed across the floor...oh god :cry
As much as you like my story and the introduction of Bron (And even Ali in the next chapter :birthday... gasp, spoiler! :lol: ) I must take a break from LBT. Its hard to explain, but I need to take a rest.
In fact, I have enjoyed writing this FanFiction, it has started to interfere with my school work
"Ok, time to update my story!"
*le write, le write, le write*
*Le looks over work*
"Oh no! IMPERFECTIONS!"
*le rewrite, le rewrite, le rewrite*
"Ah, finally finished!
*Le post on GoF*
"Wonder what time it is? I need to wake up for school tomorrow"
*Le checks clock*
*Le 4:30 AM*
*Le pokerface*
:lol Dont worry though, it hasn't affected my studies that hard, although I did tend to be a bit more sleepy in classes, but now everything is back to the norm. Just don't expext an update in about a week or two. In the mean time, go enjoy the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, because I saw your post on the topic and found out you like the show also :lol
PS: I am allergic to Kudos :x
@ vonboy
You have become a new daily viewer of my FanFiction. Take LBTDiclonius' Kudos as a reward since I can't :lol
:birthday HOORAY! :birthday
Remember how I said before that I was working on another FanFiction? Well, guess what; I finally got the LOOONNNGGG Prolouge and Chapter I up...ON EQUESTRIA DAILY *squee*! Go check it out please! (http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-hlf-lifehlf-ponyall-freeman.html?showComment=1301885606648#c8897851137854752436)
So...yea! I am really happy about that. Please rate and comment on my story. Oh, and what about you fans following My LBT FanFiction? What does ^THAT^ have to do with >THIS<? Well, now that I got a chaper done on one FanFiction, I can now start on THIS FanFiction!
Last thing I remember was that Bongo's was getting vast amounts of blood loss and is hanging onto life by a thread, right? This is going to be fun to write :lol
I'm not really interested in either Half-Life or My Little Pony, so I don't think I'd like that fanfiction. I'll keep reading this one though, it's great!.
btw, My fanfictoon has 7 episodes or "Chapters" now, if you want to ketchup on it :DD .