The Gang of Five
The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: The Friendly Sharptooth on March 12, 2011, 06:51:21 PM
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Well, here's another low quality poem from yours truly. Honestly, though, I like this one better than my other ones, at least. So, here is my latest and personal favorite poem about life in The Land Before Time.
Oh, by the way, for people who prefer listing to recitals over reading, I added a link at the bottom to me reading it aloud. I uh, well, I drank a bunch of mountain dew shortly before reading to help me get worked up, as this poem is mostly being spoken out of anger. Without further delay, here is my latest work:
I Need You
Ichy:
At times I cannot stand you.
You can really be a bore.
Trying to sleep’s a nightmare,
As you always have to snore.
You always move so slowly,
When I really want to go.
If you are truly hungry,
It certainly doesn’t show.
At times I have to wonder,
Is your sight as bad as you say?
Maybe you’re just being lazy,
So I can search all day.
You always take the nicest parts,
Of every meal we earn.
If I could only taste a few,
Much less I’d surely spurn.
You are the rudest one I know.
Your words are never nice.
I sometimes wish you’d take a walk,
And slip and fall on ice.
Your tendency is violence.
Can’t you be gentle with me?
Whenever there’s an argument,
Your tail is what I see.
If you tried just a little bit,
To be how a friend should,
Maybe we’d be less hungry.
Yeah, I really bet we would!
I’m better off without you!
Dil:
You’re the laziest guy I’ve ever met.
You know not a thing of work.
Although you spot our dinners,
It’s I who battles in the murk.
You toss and turn throughout the night.
How is a girl to rest?
The world has plenty of space to use,
Yet on me you make your nest.
You actually think you’re better,
Like I’m a good for nothing critter.
You really wonder what that does to me?
It’s why I’m always bitter.
You spot a meal then sit around,
As if that’s all you need to do.
Your laziness appalls me.
Better change or else we’re through.
You never say a thing about me,
Unless it is really bad.
Your insults truly hurt me,
And I am getting very mad.
You have a knack for trouble,
And we get in lots of jams.
Like falling rocks or crumbling caves,
Full of pain and shouts and bams.
You never take me seriously.
My complaints mean nothing to you.
Though I have needs and wants as well,
You act like it isn’t true.
I’d do better on my own!
(Silence for a little while as they think a bit more.)
Ichy:
Well, I guess you are quite useful.
You always do your part.
Your job is completed every day,
As you finish fights you start.
Dil:
I suppose your role is crucial.
You never fail to see,
Luscious meals that come about.
Be they on ground or in a tree.
Ichy:
What I am really trying to say-
Dil:
Why I think that you should stay-
Together:
I need you every day!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmS2xKJPZNQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmS2xKJPZNQ)
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My favorite villain pair form the Land Before Time! A very good poem. I can imagine them hugging each other in the end. The part about Ichy turning in his sleep creates a very funny image.
But why do lines 1 and 3 rhyme in some stanzas, and in others not? Was this intentional?
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Thank you for the comments.
But why do lines 1 and 3 rhyme in some stanzas, and in others not? Was this intentional?
Bore, snore
Go, show
Say, day
Earn, spurn
Nice, ice
Me, see
Should, would
Work, murk
Rest, nest
Critter, bitter
Do, through
Bad, mad
Jams, bams
You, true
Part, start
See, tree
They all rhyme to me. I'm not sure what you mean.
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Heh. Nice narration.
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Why thank you. I love to read, and mountain dew really helps me emphasize in the process.
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You listed lines 2 and 4 from each stanza. Indeed they all rhyme. I was asking about lines 1 and 3.
EDIT: I saw that lines 1 and 3 in fact never rhyme. I don't know what was I thinking. I feel embarrased. :oops
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Oh, please don't feel badly about anything. You work very hard to show appreciation for people's work and the only thing us writers can feel in response is gratitude. Everyone has minor typos now and then. I mean look at me! I totally mixed up the lines you were talking about. Your feedback is nothing but valuable to the forum. If you never made a mistake, you wouldn't be a person at all, as errors are a crucial part of what defines humanity.
On World of Warcraft one day, I was trying to type "glitches" but for some bizarre reason, I typed the plural of the B word. Imagine how I must have felt! But my embarrasment was short lived, recalling how my friends all had typos as well, and my mistake didn't hurt anything. None of us are perfect, and that should be grounds to eliminate or at least reduce negative emotions when that fact is proven. I like you and your feedback, and no typo is going to change that with me, and nor will anyone else dislike you for a mere, harmless error.
I thank you again for your input. Have a nice night.
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These two definitely have a love-hate relationship goind on, and this poem further reflects on this bond the pair have. Once again, nice job :D.
What character(s) will be next I wonder :angel?
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I found this poem cute. :DD I was always a big Ichy and Dil fan.