The Gang of Five
The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: trulyfantasticme on April 12, 2011, 08:22:16 PM
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*in booming voice* HERE IS THE PTERANO FANFIC YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! HERE'S LOST IN A FOREST!!!
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Introduction
A figure stood on the ledge of a high cliff, watching over the Great Valley as the Great Valley Council had a meeting next to Stone Arch* discussing on something about a banishment. He watched as a trio of flyers-one male carrying a little swimmer, one female and a giant flyer who looked like he could be male or female carrying a small longneck, spiketail and threehorn. Just out of curiosity, he fallowed the three flyers, landing behind the Stone Arch where nobody could see him
"Frankly, Pterano your behavior have been inexcusable," an old male longneck spoke in a calm voice. "But in light of the fact that you helped save the children, your punishment will be reduced."
A hopeful smile formed on Pterano's beak. "It will?"
"Yes," the longneck continued. "We've decided that you are banished to the Mysterious Beyond until five of the cold times have passed."
Pterano's smile disappeared as he hung his head in disappointment. "Five cold times?" a young flyer exclaimed. "But that's so long!"
"Yes," a grumpy old threehorn growled. "And some of us think it should be a lot longer."
"But the herds would want nothing to do with me!" Pterano complained. "I'll be alone and defenseless! Is that really fair?"
"YES!" the council shouted in unison. Pterano took a step back, not knowing what to do or say next. The young flyer landed beside him. "Oh please let him stay." he pleaded. "He very sorry."
The female flyer landed next to the young one. "That may be but that doesn't change what he did and he MUST be responsible."
"Petrie."
"But-" Petrie stopped when he realized that the older flyer had something say.
"She's right," he explained. "We all must be responsible for our actions," he keeled down, smiling understandingly. "I'll be fine."
Petrie shed a tear. "I'm gonna miss you, Uncle."
"Perhaps someday, I shall return and prove that I can be trustworthy. I know there's much I can contribute if given the chance." Petrie sobbed, flying into the old flyers arms. "I shall miss you too, Petrie." The figure could have swarn he saw a tear form in Pterano's eye as he held Petrie.
The moment was rudely interrupted by the threehorn mumbling something the figure couldn't make out. All he heard was "Scram!" before the threehorn chase the old flyer into the sky. "Then again, there are others whom I shan't miss at all!" Pterano shouted as he flew away from the Great Valley.
The flyer flew off from the spot he was at and landed back on that high cliff. He watched as Pterano flew off in the distance. "So you're the famous Pterano who had left my father to die." he whispered in a low Texan accent. He chuckled, flying off into Pterano's direction.
"You will pay, Pterano...you will pay..."
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There ya go folks. The introduction that I finished yesterday. If I can, I'll post chapter one tomorrow. (lol, that's my birthday...)
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it's just a scene from movie 7, so not much to comment on right now.
the very end is intriguing, though. I'll look forward for it to really get underway.
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This looks promising, I do encourage you to keep at this story, it seems like it will be a good read. :yes I espeically like the ending and all that suspense. ;)
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Well I'm glad you do! Embrace the suspense! lol
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I saw a minor spelling error ("sworn" not "swarn" as you had written) but other than that, it is pretty good.
Yes, it is kind of a rehashing of the 7th movie's end but in this case, I think it works.
I love the suspenseful opening at the end. Let me guess, the flyer at the end is the son of Sierra or Rinkus?
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This story does look promising and I look forward to more chapters.
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This story does look promising and I look forward to more chapters.
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Hey guys, sorry I couldn't post yesterday. I had to take care of my homework and it took me until ten to finish my homework assignment. I probably won't be able to post much today, for I have more homework and a late birthday party. But a few paragraphs is a lot better than nothing, right? Okay now, ON WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!! lol
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Almost Over
Five years passed since the banishment as the Bright Circle rose on a warm and sunny morning in the Mysterious Beyond, not a single cloud in the sky. This was quite rare for the Mysterious Beyond, especially in the morning. Despite this rare occasion, it was the same old routine as every normal day. Far-walkers would be entering or leaving the Mysterious Beyond and Sharpteeth would be hunting for their meals. But the strange thing is that every one in the Mysterious Beyond would wake up at the same time: just before sunrise.
Everyone...except for a certain flyer...
In the deepest cave, a frog croaked...only to get kicked in the top of the head by a large foot. Shocked, frightened and having no idea what had hit him, the frog hopped out of there.
Pterano opened his dark blue eyes, "Morning already?" he mumbled to himself. He yawned, stretching his body out before getting up on his feet and walked towards the opening of the cave. He gazed at the majestic mountains that separated the Mysterious Beyond and the Great Valley. He smiled; almost there. It was exactly two weeks from now that he would return to the Great Valley, to start over, to work things out with the Great Valley Council and his sister and most importantly, to see his nephews and nieces again. "Two more weeks, Petrie...two more weeks."
With that being said, Pterano flew off to the Big Water, searching for his breakfast, just like his normal routine. He heard something splash behind him, which caused him to turn around. A blue fish swimming towards him, totally unaware that it was about to become food. Perfect. Pterano flew up higher, just waiting for the right time to strike.
When the fish was underneath him, Pterano took the opportunity to dive for it, coming back up with the fish in his mouth. He swallowed as he spotted something bigger and better than the fish. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but it sure looked tasty. So he took a dive for it.
With his meal in his claw, Pterano flew back to the beach. He was in for a big surprise...
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Okay that's all for now. I've got alot of things to take care of. I hope you enjoyed so far. :)
Update: HERE'S HANNAH! lol I'm back! Please enjoy this continuation of Chappie one. PS: Ptyra, I think you're gonna like this part.
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He landed on the beach, taking a seat against a boulder. He held his meal over him and opened his mouth wide...
Only to get sprayed in the face with ink.
"WHAT THE-!!!!" Pterano exclaimed, dropping his meal and spitting out the ink. He looked at his meal and saw that it was a squid.
"I hate squids!!!" he whined, taking the squid and throwing it back into the ocean. No sooner than this, hysterical laughter came from the trees. Pterano sat up. "Who's there?" he scowled, trying to hide his fear.
But the laughing fit continued as Pterano stood up, holding up his claw. "Answer me, or I'll-"
A young flyer, black on the outside, night sky blue on the inside and no crest approached Pterano, still having that laughing fit. "Goodness Pterano, ya do the dumbest things, dontcha old flyer?" he told him with a Texan accent.
"I do not!" Pterano defended, crossing his arms on his chest.
The young flyer chuckled. "Come on, that's the second squid incident you've had so far. And must we not forget that stingray accident when ya first came here."
"I hate those to!"
"You hate everything that can make a fool outta ya." Pterano scoffed in response. "Well old friend, are you gonna gimme a hug or am I gonna have to leave?"
Pterano chuckled, uncrossing his arms and opening them. "Come here, you!"
"Now that's what I'd like to hear!" With that, the young flyer threw his arms around Pterano's neck, hugging him tightly.
The older flyer smiled, wrapping his wings around his waist, pulling him close and enveloping him in a big hug. "How's it going, Devon?"
"It's all good," Devon replied, pulling back, but clutching Pterano's shoulders. "How's the old flyer?"
"Who are you calling old?" Pterano teased. The two flyers laughed, breaking the embrace. They sat next to eachother as Devon handed him a treestar. "Thanks," Pterano said gratefully as he used it to wipe the ink off his beak.
"So whatcha been up to?" Devon asked.
"Oh the same old, just without someone to talk to." the older flyer ruffled Devon's head.
"It's been a while hasn't it?"
"Yeah, two years at the most, am I correct?" Pterano replied.
"Feels more like three." Devon pointed. "I really missed you."
"I missed you too." Pterano suddenly frowned, sighing. Devon seemed to notice this too well.
"You miss your family, don't you?"
"Yeah, I've been missing them a lot lately. I mean, it's been so long since I've last seen them."
"At least your banishment is almost over. I mean, it is the fifth year, right?"
"Yeah."
"Then I think we should go visit them now!" Devon exclaimed. "I sense they're going to be very happy to see you!"
Pterano gave him a small smile. "But I'm not supposed to be there for another two weeks."
"Oh...well...it could be worse right? I mean, at least you weren't banished forever, right?"
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
Devon turned his gaze to the forest, and then back to Pterano. "Anyways, I gotta get goin."
"Same here. I've got to get back to my cave and think."
Devon reached his hand for Pterano's and helped him up to his feet. "Thanks." He then placed a hand on the younger flyer's shoulder. "Devon?"
"Yes...Pterano?"
"During this...umm...exile," the older flyer spoke. "I don't know what in the world I would do without you."
"You'd probably get squirted in the face with ink at every meal." Devon teased.
Pterano chuckled, showing a proud fatherly smile towards his dear friend. "You," he rubbed his shoulder tightly. "You and that sense of humor that keeps me going." He pulled the younger flyer into a tight hug. "Thanks for being there for me, son."
Devon opened his eyes wide before closing them and wrapping his arms around the red flyer. Come to think of it, Pterano was a kind of like a father figure to him. He felt his friend's hands rub up and down his back and then his arms tighten around him, pulling him closer. "I love you..." Pterano whispered.
Devon let a tear fall from his eye; Pterano, you have no idea how much those words of yers mean to me. He clutched onto the older flyer, never, ever wanting to let go and nuzzled his shoulder. They stayed that way as a gentle breeze went through their wings.
They finally broke the hug, smiling fondly at each other. "See ya around?" Devon offered.
Pterano placed a gentle claw on the younger flyer's cheek, smiling proudly. "You bet." he replied, stroking his cheek with his claw. He allowed his claw to fall from Devon's cheek, to his shoulder and then to his arm before he turned around and spreaded his wings.
"Don't go bumping into trees on the way, Pterano."
He laughed before taking off, leaving Devon to his own thoughts. Devon spreaded his wings and headed for the forest. He landed next to a tree, taking off a tree star and stuffing it into his mouth.
"S' about time..."
This caused Devon to jump in fright, spitting out his treestar. Up on the tree branch above him stood a brown flyer, no crest and sharp teeth. "H-hey, Dad!" Devon stuttered nervously.
"So I see you're a very close friend of his, hmm?" Sierra asked him in a fake friendly tone, landing in front of Devon.
"Yeah, he's not as mean as you say he is," the younger flyer replied, before smiling as he watched as Pterano flew off in the distance. "This place must've knocked some sense into him." He chuckled, only to get cut off when his father slapped him, knocking him against a tree, leaving scratch marks on his face.
"Snap out of it, will ya? Pterano's not our friend, he's our enemy!" Sierra snapped, clenching his fists. "You remember the routine."
Devon looked down disappointingly. "Oh that..."
"Those brats should be here in a few days" Sierra reminded. "and then you're to lead them to a pack of Sharptooth." He picked up a pointy rock and grasped it. "and I will take care of that Pterano."
Devon gasped in horror. Sierra pulled his son to his feet, putting an arm around him. "We do this, and my revenge will be complete and you will have your freedom." Devon gasped again, not knowing what to do.
"Just tell me where that Pterano lives and I'll deal with him tomorrow."
Devon's heart pounded in his chest, pondering over what to do. If he did tell Sierra, he'd be free, but if he didn't...well...let's just say he won't live to see another day. He sighed. He really didn't wanna do this...
"He went to his cave...to do a little thinking."
Sierra switched to the other side of Devon."Oh, and where is that, my dear boy...?"
That night, Pterano stood at the opening of his cave, watching as the stars twinkled in the night sky. The stars looked exactly like they did the night he was banished. Even the Night Circle didn't look that much different either.
Pterano snapped out of his thoughts when he spotted something in the corner of his eye: a blue flying rock, similar to the so called "Stone of Cold Fire" he and his henchmen had gone after five years earlier. He sure wasn't going to go there again. He couldn't help but chuckle as a small smile appeared on his face. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back as a warm breeze went through his wings.
He opened his eyes before yawning, noticing he was getting sleepy. So he headed into the cave and rested for the night, not even noticing the storm forming in the distance...
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Whew, a lot of typing...
Well now, I hope you've enjoyed this extremely long chappie. G'night every one!
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I'm liking it. Pterano longing to get back to his friends and loved one is very touching.
I do have a little question though. Is Chomper and Ruby in the Great Valley at this point? I know it sounds selfish of me, but I think it'd be fun to read about a little encounter between Chomper and Pterano. :lol
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I'm liking it. Pterano longing to get back to his friends and loved one is very touching.
I do have a little question though. Is Chomper and Ruby in the Great Valley at this point? I know it sounds selfish of me, but I think it'd be fun to read about a little encounter between Chomper and Pterano. :lol
Wow! that was fast. Oh and yes, Ruby and Chomper are indeed in the Great Valley and yes they appear in later chapters. YAY!!!
I'm glad you liked it. I enjoyed typing it, even thought it took me up to four hours!!!
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Finally! Here's Chapter Two every one. Warning: It contains extreme epicness!
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Thunderstorm
Thunder cracked as a lightning bolt flashed in the sky for no more than a quarter of a second. This caused Pterano to wake up from his peaceful sleep, heart pounding in his chest.
It took him a few seconds to yawn and stretch, before he stood up on his feet. He walked to the opening. "Quite stormy out this morning," he muttered to himself. "But it could be worse." With that, he took off to the skies.
For about a half an hour, he searched for fish, only to land on a tree branch empty-handed. "No fish today," he told himself, jumping to the ground and taking a tree star and observed it. "Oh well..." He stuffed the tree star in his mouth, taking in the minty flavor.
He swallowed and sighed; I should visit Devon today. He was just about to take another tree star when...
"Kind of early for a stroll, eh Pterano?"
Pternano nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden comment, for he knew that Texan accent anywhere: Sierra.
The brown flyer landed in front of him, smirking evilly. "Did I startle you, Pterano?"
Pterano growled in annoyance. Why was he here? "What do you want, Sierra."
"You're still as feisty as ever, Pterano. You haven't changed a bit."
"And you're still the same old ignorant dumb nut you were when we went after that stone." Pterano snapped.
"It's too bad yer stuck here, Pterano." Sierra grabbed a red tree sweet from the tree he's leaning on. "We could have made a great team, going after revenge and all."
"What do you mean?" the old flyer asked, keeping his guard up for he knew, without Rinkus around, Sierra could lung at him any time.
"I'm sick of those whiny brats, jumping over me like a frog!" Sierra crushed tree sweet in his hands.
Pterano thought for a moment, trying to figure out what Sierra was babbling about. He thought back to when he, Rinkus and Sierra were heading for the stone. He thought about that threatening statement Sierra had made about the children. "The first thing I'm gonna do when we reach the stone is feed them overgrown eggs to the Sharpteeth!" Pterano clenched his fists in anger; those "whiny brats" happen to be my nephew and his friends.
"You leave those poor children alone!" Pterano snapped as it took every ounce of his energy not to slap the heck out of Sierra.
"Oh, someone's getting mad," the brown flyer taunted. "I wonder how Devon would feel if your anger would be the last emotion you would ever feel."
"How do you know about Devon?"
"Glad you asked. Devon is my son and he told me all about you and where you live. He's the reason why I'm here right now."
Pterano's look softened in disbelief. He couldn't believe that, even after all they've been through, that Devon would betray him behind his back like that. But then again, that would explain the hint of nervousness he noticed in Devon's eyes when he talked to him. It was like talking to a suspect.
"But perhaps it isn't his fault," Sierra continued. "He didn't really have much of a choice. I would've killed him if he didn't."
That does it! Pterano finally let his anger out when he punched Sierra, harder than he had ever punched anyone in his life, leaving a scratch mark on his face. "You're going to have to fight me before I let you harm Devon or the kids!"
"So be it then." Sierra got up on his feet and took off to the skies while Pterano, right after, fallowed suit.
Just then, Pterano was knocked out of the skies when a flexible tree branch smacked him upside the head, sending him back a good twenty feet.
Pterano quickly gained balance and lunged at his once-comrade, who blocked his blow and punched the red flyer until he had him pinned against a tree. Sierra reached up, preparing to grab Pterano's throat.
For a split second, Pterano thought of the possibilities of what brutal things Sierra can do with that hand of his. If he can strangle Pterano, there's no telling of what he could do to the kids and Devon. This is why Pterano had to protect those kids, Devon and most of all, Petrie.
Before Sierra could do anything else, Pterano reached up and grabbed his hand, pulling himself free from his grasp. He remembered the way he and Rinkus grabbed him like that several cold times ago.
"Stop this at once! Get a grip, will you?"
"Hey, dun mind if we do!"
Pterano opened his eyes and all of a sudden, a burst of energy had hit him, like he literally had the strength to lift up to ten grown up longnecks with his own body weight. "Don't mind if I do," he quoted darkly. With that, he punched Sierra in the face with full force, knocking him backwards.
The red flyer didn't hesitate one second before flying after Sierra, punching him in the same places he had punched Pterano. He gave one last punch and kicked the brown flyer into a tree before flying after him. "Had enough?"
Pterano's fun ended when a pointy rock was jammed into his shoulder, he screamed in pain. "Nope, the party's just begun!" With that, Sierra kicked his once comrade leader off of him and used this advantage to hammer head punch him into the Big Water below them. Sierra chuckled evilly. "Age has weakened you, old flyer."
And just like that, Pterano blasted out of the water with full force, knocking the wits out of Sierra. "Age comes with will."
Pterano was right on his tail when a lightning bolt struck in between them, sending them both to the stone cold ground with hard impact. Pterano weakly got up on his feet, clutching his stomach in pain.
"PTERANO, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!!!!!"
Shocked by the sudden outburst, Pterano turned his head in the direction it came from to see a familiar blue flyer flying towards him at full speed. "Devon-AHHH!!!!!" he screamed in sharp pain ran straight through his back, sinking onto his knees. Sierra pulled out the bloody rock, chuckling evilly.
"NOOO!!!!!" Devon shouted, trying to fly faster.
"I knew you couldn't beat me." Sierra, ignoring his son's cries, whispered darkly in Pterano's ear before using his foot to push the red flyer to the ground. He held up the bloody stone to give the final blow...
Only to get rammed into by Devon.
"I won't let you hurt him any farther!" Devon shouted, landing in front of the wounded flyer.
Sierra was about to snap back but then he smirked evilly. "Ah, he's gonna die anyway." he chuckled, dropping the stone. "Thanks for your help, Devon. I couldn't have done it without you." With that, he took off, leaving Devon with Pterano.
Devon kneeled by his dear friend, tears springing from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Pterano. I'm so sorry..."
The older flyer lifted his head. "Devon..." he whispered. "He would have killed you..." he groaned in serious pain. "...if you didn't..."
"UNCLE PTERANO!!!!!!!!"
Devon looked up to see a small flyer rushing to the wounded flyer's side, fallowed by a longneck, spiketail, threehorn, swimmer, fast-runner and a small sharptooth. "I'll go get help!" With that, he took to the skies, leaving the small flyer and his friends with Pterano.
The wounded flyer opened his eyes weakly. "Petrie..."
"I'm here, Uncle..."Petrie replied as he held his dear uncle's hand gently, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Pterano smiled lovingly at his nephew that he hasn't seen in so long as he protectively gripped his small hand, whispering these words for the first and probably the last time.
"I love you...my son..."
No sooner than this, Petrie felt his hand loosen as he heard a quiet sigh coming from the dying flyer. "Uncle?...Uncle Pterano?..."he whimpered, desperately hoping for an answer. "...Dad?..." The young flyer buried his face into Pterano's shoulder, crying his heart out as thought he had never cried before in his life...
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Aww...poor Petrie...
Yeah, this is kind of like "Fight to the Death" except it has a longer ending and it's not humanized. So I hope you've all enjoyed the epicness of this chapter. It took me nearly all night to write. Whew!
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I noticed you ninja-edited in the second half of the previous chapter :p
This latest chapter and that previous on were both really good. I really have no idea where the story is going to go from here, and that's exciting to me. I don't even really know if Pterano is truly dead or not. (I hope not :cry )
Keep writing it, it's good.
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Yes, this story is great! I really like it! There's plenty of action and suspense here.
Let's keep our fingers crossed and HOPE Pterano isn't dead. (I do cry at the thought of Pterano dying, no kidding...the tears start coming out right when the thought hits me :cry ...)
I'm glad you had Devon fly in to the rescue and stop that dirty, nasty, mean Sierra from pounding Pterano to death with that bloody rock. And then you brought Petrie in, along with Littlefoot and the gang.
This is getting good.
I really like Devon, now. :) What a nice, thoughtful and caring cearadactylus he is. He saved Pterano from certain death! He REALLY loves and cares for him. :D *I find that VERY heartwarming!*
I enjoyed chapter 2. Keep up the great work, trulyfantasticme! I love this story!
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I agree completely! This is awesome!
Seriously, I hope Pterano ISN'T dead, he's much too cool for death, heh heh. Devon right now is on my list of good flyers for saving Pterano from certain death, I like him. Please keep this story going trulyfantasticme! :yes
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Oh you guys. You're making me blush! ANYWAY!!!!
Here's da next chappie!
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Aftermath
Devon searched the skies, desperately looking for any dinosaur of any species that can help his dear friend. He would look here and there, only to see nothing but the trees and the ground below him. It remained that way for nearly a half an hour until he spotted something out of the corner of his eye...
Something that seemed to be a mysterious spiketail lurking in the woods. He smiled with hope and faith as he dove down to approach this mysterious spiketail.
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The gang, Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Spike, Petrie, Ruby and Chomper sat in silence around the wounded flyer, pretty sure he was dead. Ducky sat next to Pterano's wing, holding Petrie as he cried silently. "Why did this have to happen?" Petrie asked out loud. "He was perfectly fine when he was banished."
No body said a word, not even Cera. Usually she would bash out on his uncle but now since Petrie was in deep emotional pain, she didn't bother doing so. It would hurt Petrie too much. Ducky pulled him closer, rubbing his shoulders comfortingly.
The silence was broken when rattling on the ground took place, causing every one to stumble on their feet. "Earthshake!" Petrie shouted.
A couple of trees were knocked down to the ground, revealing a grown up spiketail and a blue flyer. "Where's the victim?" the spiketail spoke in a booming voice. Petrie and Ducky moved so the spiketail could see what had happened.
The spiketail hung his head over Pterano's neck, checking his pulse. "He's not dead."
A hopeful smile appeared through the tears on Petries face. "He not?"
"No," he turned his head towards the young flyer. "however, if he doesn't get help soon, he will be." The spiketail then turned his head towards Devon, who was stroking the wounded flyer's back comfortingly, avoiding the wound. Pterano groaned silently in pain.
"Hey, blue flyer!" the spiketail commanded, causing Devon to look up at him. "Take the victim and place him upon my back and I'll take you all to a safer place than here."
Petrie broke out of Ducky's embrace and hugged the older spiketail's neck tightly. "Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you SO MUCH!!!"
By now, Devon already had Pterano in his arms as he carried him to the spiketail's back. He gently placed the older flyer on the lumpy surface.
The spiketail turned to Littlefoot and Cera. "You, longneck and threehorn! we're gonna need lot's of treestars if he's going to get better."
"I have a name, ya know." Cera told the older spiketail, only to earn an angry glare from Littlefoot.
"Cera, this isn't the time!" he scolded before turning his head to the spiketail.
"As I was saying," he continued. "I want you two to collect as many treestars as you can on the way."
"Yes sir." Littlefoot nodded.
Devon gazed at his wounded friend worriedly, hoping, praying that Pterano would be okay. He watched as Pterano opened up his dark blue eyes, focusing his energy on Devon. The red flyer reached out his hand and Devon gripped it tightly, rubbing it comfortingly. "You're gonna be a good as new, Pterano," he whispered. "Just hang in there."
Pterano smiled weakly but lovingly at the blue flyer before he slipped back into unconscious allowing his hand to go limp in Devon's. The father son moment was interrupted when the spiketail turned his head towards Devon. "Blue Flyer, you are to take to the sky to be sure the coast is clear."
Devon nodded before turning his worried gaze back to Pterano. "He'll be alright." the spiketail spoke in such a voice so gentle it caught Devon off guard. The blue flyer gave him a small smile before spreading his wings and taking off.
"Let's go!" The spiketail commanded. Without another word, he lead the children to his "safe" spot.
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Hey guys. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for the feedback everyone! Especially you, Vonboy, thanks for being the first to comment on my story. You have know idea how much that means to me.
Sorry if this chapter is extremely short. Hopefully the next one will be longer.
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This story is awesome!!
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This one is shorter, but I guess that can't be helped. Theres only so much you can say about trying to pick up and move Pterano.
I don't know what your going to do, but I wonder if the Gang will try to get Pterano in the Great Valley early, so he can be somewhere very safe to heal up. How long is this story going to be?
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This chapter was a bit short but that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
Good Chapter, heh, thank goodness Pterano isn't dead. And just who could this Spiketail be? I wonder if he's important to the plot? Hm... Anyways, update soon!
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btw, guys, just so you know, I can only post my stories on wed. thur. fri.s. because my mom is on the computer most of the time and she works wed thur. and fri. nights. so ch. 4 most likely wont be posted til wednesday.
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But then again, maybe not. Here's chapter four. But it just might not be the whole chapter though. Warning: it does get very sad. I think sadder than the chapter two.
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Let's All Hope For the Best
With Pterano on his back, the spiketail led the children into a dark cave, which oddly looked familiar to the children, especially Littlefoot. "We should be safe here," the spiketail announced. "There hasn't been a sharptooth in here since a few of them claimed they heard strange noises in here."
Just as Littlefoot had thought. "I wonder why..."he stated in a sarcastic tone.
The spiketail turned to the young longneck in shock and disbelief. "You?"
"All of us!" Ducky explained proudly. "We were in the Cave of Many Voices!"
"Well, I must say for young ones like you," the spiketail told them, quite impressed to hear that these were the ones making the noises that scared the heck out of those sharpteeth that afternoon. "You're quite the adventurers."
Petrie frowned, remembering that his uncle had once told him that.
*Flashback*
"Wow Uncle," a younger Petrie exclaimed as he landed on a rock next to Pterano. "You sure lead exciting life!"
"High praise indeed coming from you," Pterano returned, placing a hand on Petrie's tiny shoulders. "I understand that you're quite the adventurer yourself."
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Petrie sighed deeply. "Please hang in there."
"Thanks...umm..."Ducky told the spiketail, trying to figure out what to call him.
"Call me Joe." the spiketail told her.
"Oh, umm...thank you, Joe." Ducky replied, trying out the name.
"You're welcome," his gaze turned to the hurt flyer on his back. "Littlefoot, we're gonna need those treestars right about now."
As if on cue, Devon landed at the opening. "Is the coast clear?"
"Yes sir." Devon returned.
"Good," With that, Joe moved his head to the right, signaling the blue flyer.
Devon, knowing what that meant, took the red flyer in his arms. "Just place him on his stomach. That way, we can cover the wound on his back."
With the help of Petrie, Devon placed Pterano on the ground, placing a hand on the wounded flyer's forehead. Joe nodded at Littlefoot and Cera, who knowing what that meant, rushed to Pterano's side, covering his wounds. "Cera, I need you to press the treestars as hard as you can." Joe told the young threehorn. "It'll help stop the bleeding."
Cera nodded, doing exactly what she was told. This caused Pterano to groan really loud, nearly screaming in pain. She stopped for a moment, wondering if she was making his wound worse. "Keep going." Joe calmly told her. She did, only to earn more whimpers and groans from the older flyer.
Petrie couldn't take it any more as he rushed into Ducky's arms, burying his face into her shoulder. He couldn't stand to see his beloved uncle so weak, so defenseless and in so much pain. It hurt him too much. Ducky pulled him closer as he broke down crying.
That night, everyone was fast asleep except Devon. He just sat there next to the wounded flyer, doing whatever he could to comfort him. Tears sprang in his eyes. He hated seeing him like this, it hurt him too much. This was the same flyer, who had taken him in when nobody else would, held him when he needed to be held, risked his life to protect him and the children. He was his best friend, a better friend than he could ever imagine. Pterano wasn't like his mean old father. He was kind and caring and understanding, everything his father wasn't. He practically loved the older flyer with all of his heart and he just couldn't believe that there was a high chance that Pterano would be gone from his life forever. "I'm so sorry, Pterano..."
The pressure was just about to take its toll on him when...
"Devon?"
The blue flyer wasted no time to rush to the wounded flyer's side. "I'm here, Pterano."
"Devon," Pterano spoke weakly. "You cannot blame yourself for this."
"But why? I betrayed you!" Devon exclaimed, tears falling freely. "I'm the one who turned you in in the first place!"
"And if you didn't, he would've killed you." Devon hung his head in defeat. "Devon, look at me." The blue flyer did so as the Pterano lifted his wing. "Come here."
Devon lied himself beside him, allowing the old flyer to cover him protectively with his wing. Devon nuzzled him as Pterano pulled him closer. "If I don't make it out of this, I need you to promise me something."
"Anything, Pterano."
"Promise me...that whatever happens to me, you won't go around blaming yourself for it. I don't want you putting yourself down because of me."
"But-"
"Promise me, Devon."
Devon hesitated for a second. "I promise."
Pterano gave him a weak but a loving fatherly smile, tightening his arm around the young flyer, pulling him closer to his side. "That's my boy." Devon nuzzled his shoulder in response, tears streaming down his face. Pterano rested his beak on his, wiping away his tears. "I love you, Devon. You have made me so proud, not even words can describe it. I couldn't have asked for a better son. You have such a good heart, listen to it. It'll help guide you through the rough times."
Devon felt Pterano's arm around him loosen as he could hear a quiet sigh coming from the wounded flyer. He freaked out at first, thinking he was dead. He relaxed when he realized the old flyer was still breathing. But that didn't cease the worrying. He buried his face into his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably for the flyer who he desperately wished his father.
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Man that was so sad to write. Poor Devon. He really loves Pterano.
I know what I said before but my mum was nice enough to let me have the computer for today. She is now watching Harry Potter. Thanks mum!
Enjoy.
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Poor Devon man...that's just sad...really sad. Lol, I seriously can't imagine that Spiketail saying, "Call me Joe," with a straight face because I seriously couldn't, I swear. :lol
Update soon! :)
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Hey guys! Sorry for the hold up. I had a hard time finishing chapter five.
Speaking of chapter five, here it is!
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Recovery
Devon was the first to wake up the next morning, still tucked safely under Pterano's wing. He smiled, nuzzling the older flyer gently before removing his wings so he could stretch and get up on his feet. He looked at the clear morning sky, sighing before turning his look back to Pterano. He smiled, seeing that Petrie and Ducky were snuggled up against the older flyer's shoulders. It was the most adorable sight he ever saw, but he also noticed that Pterano's blood was leaking through the treestars on his back.
Without a word, he took off to find more treestars, not even noticing a brown flyer in the watching in the trees. "You just wait, Pterano. I'll getcha soon." Sierra mumbled darkly before flying after his son.
****
Ducky was the second to wake up this morning, yawning. "Good morning, every one," she mumbled sleepily. "Good morning, Petrie's Uncle."
She received no answer for everyone else was fast asleep. She took a look around in curiosity. She had no idea why, but she felt that something, or someone was missing from the group. She counted everyone in the cave just to be sure, only to count nine instead of ten. She tried her hardest to figure out the missing link. Then...it hit her.
"Hey, where's Devon?"
****
Devon took his last treestar he needed, placing it securely in his arm that was holding a whole bunch of treestars. "Hang on, Pterano. I'll be back with yer treestars." He took a few steps back, trying to figure out what he was going to do to carry these treestars to the cavern. Little did he know...
"Hello Devon."
It was then that the blue flyer realized what he was stepping into. He jumped back, accidentally stepping on his father's foot and dropped most nearly all of the treestars. He staggered back from his father, eyes widened in fright. "Miss me, Devon?"
The blue flyer then clenched his fists, remembering what his father had done to Pterano. "You!"
"Oh, come on, Devon," Devon chuckled darkly, folding his arms across his chest. "Aren't you happy to see your old father again?"
"You could have killed him!" the younger flyer growled, trying his best to remain calm.
"Who?" Sierra paused for moment, trying to figure out what Devon was talking about. Then it came to him as he smirked evilly. "Oh, you mean HIM." He shrugged uncaringly. "Eh, he was nuttin but a poor excuse of a leader who can't even keep his heard safe for a single moment, you see."
Devon gritted his teeth, anger increasing as Sierra continued. "Come on, son. Look on the bright side, my revenge is almost complete. As soon as I finish that blowhard of-" the brown flyer was cut off when Devon punched him in the face, sending him into a tree.
"Don't talk about my father that way!" he yelled. "He's better than you think!"
"Father?" Sierra repeated as he sat up, recovering from that sudden blow. "So, you've replaced me, huh?" He chuckled, standing up on his own two feet, shrugging. "That's okay. I was gonna disown ya anyway."
Devon's look turned into a shocked and disappointed look. His own father was going to disown him? But...how could he? Sierra noticed this. "Oh, what's the matter? Did I hit a sensitive spot?" he chuckled. Devon did not answer for he was too busy staring at the ground. He gave him an angry look, but that's about it. Sierra continued. "Come on, you should've known this was coming. I was gonna set ya free, remember?"
The blue flyer's look hardened with more anger in him than before. He was just about to slap his evil father silly when...
"Devon!"
He looked in the direction of where the sudden shout out was coming from, only to get knocked into a boulder behind him, causing him to drop the rest of the treestars. "As much as I'd love to stay and chit chat," Sierra spreaded his wings, preparing for take off. "I have some business to take care of." With that, he flew off, leaving Devon alone...for two seconds.
Out of the bushes stuck out Littlefoot's long neck. "Devon!" the young longneck shouted, rushing to the blue flyer's side. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Devon, using Littlefoot's neck as a handle, stood up on his feet and picked up some of the treestars that fell.
"Are you sure?" Joe asked, stepping out of the bushes along with Cera and Chomper. "You sure don't sound like it."
"Yeah, I'm sure. Just a little tired, I guess."
"Good, now let's head back, shall we?" Joe told him, taking a step towards the right.
"Yes sir." Devon stepped beside him, spreading his wings.
Joe waited until the kids were ahead of them before ducking his small head next to Devon. "Just out of curiosity, who was that brown flyer you were talking to?"
Devon narrowed his eyebrows angrily; the cruelest father you would ever come across. "He's not important." Devon spoke in a low voice before taking off.
****
"...and I told him, 'I hope I don't have to come across another sharptooth again," Pterano ended his story he was telling to Petrie, Ducky, Ruby and Spike. "The strange thing is no sooner did I say that, a couple of fast biters and a sharptooth rammed past us, not even noticing that we were right there next to them. And then I told myself, 'I knew that mumbling was a bad sign!"
The children burst into laughter. "In fact, now that I mention it," Pterano continued, looking at the walls. "Devon and I were standing in this exact spot."
"Wow! Were you really?" Ruby exclaimed. "Petrie was sure right about you leading an exiting life!"
Pterano smiled, placing a hand on Ruby's back. "Thank's, Ruby." He then frowned in concern, staring at the ground.
Ducky noticed this. "Are you okay, Petrie's Uncle?"
Pterano sighed. "I'm just worried about Devon. I mean, he's probably off fighting his father for all I know!"
Ducky hopped off of Spike's back and hugged the old flyer's beak sympathetically. "Do not worry, Petrie's Uncle. I couldn't have wondered too far. I'm sure he'll be back soon."
Petrie also hugged his uncle's beak. "Me too."
Pterano smiled, placing his hands protectively over their backs. "Thanks kids."
As if on cue, Joe and the kids returned to the cavern. "How is every one?"
"Great!" Ruby replied. "Mr. Pterano was telling us a story of how he and Devon were standing in that exact spot," she pointed at Pterano. "when we scared the heck out of those sharpteeth!"
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omg, I'm so tired right now. I would love to write some more, but I've really got to go and take a nap. I freakin need it right now.
Sorry guys. I promise I'll post some more when I finish my nap. Unless mom has low census.
Update: Hey guys, sorry for the hold up. "Me took big nap." :lol
"Oh vonboy, out of the mouths of hatchlings as they say." :lol Back to the story.
PS. Cookie and a big hug to any one who can quess where I got those quotes.
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"Really now!" said Joe. "How about them treesweets, eh?" He then turned to Pterano. "How are you feeling?"
"Much better. Those treestars are really doing the trick." Pterano replied, chuckling.
"Good, cause I've got some more for ya," Devon told him as he landed next to Pterano's wing, taking out the treestars he had in his mouth.
Pterano smiled. "Devon..."
"Don't move." The blue flyer told him calmly before placing the treestars on Pterano's back, trying his best not to hurt the old flyer. Pterano looked across the cave, noticing a familiar longneck, threehorn, a grown up spiketail and...a talking sharptooth? Pterano's eyes opened wide in fright. "Uhh....."
Chomper noticed this as he approached. "Hello there!"
Pterano jumped, sending pain in his back. "Ow..." he winced. Chomper sighed; why am I not surprised. "Please don't eat me..."
Ducky giggled at the sight and Pterano's reaction of meeting Chomper before approaching Pterano and placed a small hand on his beak. "It is okay, Petrie's Uncle. Chomper is nice. He is, he is. He helped save you from a slow and painful death."
Pterano was so speechless that all he could squeak out was, "Okay..."
"Don't worry, Pterano. You'll get used to me." Chomper held out his hand. "By the way, I'm Chomper."
Pterano hesitated for a second due to the fright a talking sharptooth before reluctantly shaking the small sharptooth's hand. He began to relax as he did so, taking a deep sigh before smiling at Chomper. "It is my pleasure."
He then turned to Littlefoot. "Whoa, Littlefoot!" Pterano spoke. "My, you've grown!"
The young longneck smiled sheepishly in response. "Longnecks grow fast..." he simply replied.
"How's you're grandparents?"
"They're okay. Grandpa's sick though." Littlefoot replied, looking down sadly.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Pterano told him before turning to the threehorn. "Cera? Is that you?"
"How do you know my name?" Cera snapped.
Pterano sighed. "Yep that's her." he muttered. "May I say you've grown alot in the past five years. I mean, you have horns now!"
Cera stood up with pride. "Thank you." Pterano smiled at her before turning to the grown up spiketail.
"And who might you be?"
"I'm-" Joe was interrupted when Chomper placed a hand on his shoulder, blurting out these words:
"This is Joe. He is the reason why you are still alive."
Pterano's eyes widened. "Oh wow! Joe, you have my deepest thanks."
"You're welcome." Joe smiled at the aging flyer.
"Well since you all saved my life an all," Pterano paused for a moment, thinking of what he could possibly do to repay these kids. "How would you all like to hear a story?" He almost slapped himself; come on, old flyer! Is that the best you got?" He was surprised when the kids all shouted, "Yeah!" Okay stories it is!
He took another moment to think of what to tell. A-ha! "Did I ever tell you about," he paused for effect. "the Stone of Cold Fire?" Every one knew what he was talking about except for Chomper, Ruby and Joe.
"Huh?" Chomper asked, not getting to concept.
"What's the Stone of Cold Fire?" Ruby asked.
"And how can fire be cold?" Joe asked.
"Well we're just going to have to wait and see, now aren't we children?" Pterano then started his story. "It all started when I joined up with a herd of far walkers..."
Sunset...
"...and for help saving the kids, my punishment was reduced to five cold times instead of the rest of my life," Pterano finished. "and since then, I've been roaming around the Mysterious Beyond."
"Doing what, Mr. Pterano?" Ruby asked.
"Well, when I first came here," Pterano explained. "I needed a place to live. I found plenty of good caves but I would always get chased out of them by a sharptooth. I soon got so tired of it so I decided to fallow them and study them for a while."
Chomper and Ruby looked at eachother in fascination. "Whoa..."
"I soon found out about Red Claw and how he's always lurking near the Great Valley." Pterano continued as the gang, except for Cera, gasped in awe. "So I'm the one who always has to keep him as far away from the valley as possible, which is quite fun sometimes."
"How do you do that?" Chomper asked.
"I throw rocks at him or sometimes, I would lead him into a forest and tie him up with vines."
Cera scoffed. "Yeah right. Like that'll ever happen."
"Cera, just because you don't see with your eyes, doesn't make it a lie." Devon explained to her. "Besides, I saw him do that once..." He and Pterano smirked at eachother.
"You should tell us the story of how you two met." Ducky requested. "You should, you should."
"No problem." Pterano replied. He waited until every one was snuggled up before starting the story. "It all started when I was flying high in the sky one afternoon..."
Night time...
"...And so, we became friends," Pterano smiled at the young blue flyer sleeping next to him. "and he has become such a good son to me." By now, the children were laying down, just about to drift off into a sleep. Pterano couldn't help but smile at them. They looked so adorable all curled up like that, he thought. He rested his head on his arms, closing his eyes.
He was just about to fall asleep when he felt a tug on his wing. He lifted it to see that Ducky had rested herself under his wing. "Goodnight, Petrie's Uncle." she murmured, scooting herself closer to his warmth.
Pterano chuckled as he lightly but protectively rested his beak over her head. "Goodnight, Ducky." he whispered, closing his eyes again. He opened them to see Ruby looking at him sleepy eyes. But he knew what they meant. He opened his wing as she laid herself next to Ducky. He rested his wing on her, pulling her closer.
His smile grew wider as he felt Petrie rest on his shoulder and Devon nestle himself under his other wing. Tears of joy formed in his eyes as he pulled the children closer until he had them all wrapped up, safe and protected under his wings. He fell asleep that way with a smile on his face.
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Whew! That's alot of typing. Well I hope you've enjoyed it everyone. Tata!
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I kind of expected Serris would have disowned Devon at some point.
Has a few days passed by now? Pterano seems like he's made a lot of recovery for one day.
I'm kind of surprised Pterano hasn't even questioned Chomper yet about being a sharptooth. Did they know each other already, or something?
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Awww. I loved the part where Pterano "had the dino children all wrapped up safe and protected under his wings"... and he has tears of joy forming in his eyes..
He's got Petrie on his shoulder and Devon nestled under one of his wings...
That's very sweet and heartwarming! :D I smiled and started forming tears, too when I read that part.
Don't worry. I won't miss a chapter of "Lost in a Forest"! :) I read every new chapter on the same day that you post them. :yes
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Hey guys! The wait is over! Here's Chappie six.
hehe, I think I might create a character named Chappie. :lol
Jared, I think you're gonna really like this chapter...
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Recovery Part Two
Days turned into weeks as Pterano continued to recover successfully from his wounds. Devon and the kids were teaching him how to walk again. Boy was he in for a struggle...
Pterano stumbled into Ruby's arms after hours of this, panting heavily as everyone else watched in silence. "I'm getting too old for this..."
Ruby chuckled. What a silly old flyer he is. "Come on Pterano," she urged, pushing him away from her but still grasping his shoulders. "You're doing great! Just keep trying, you'll get it."
"Can't we take a break first?" the older flyer pleaded, completely forgetting that he is the older flyer around here.
"Tell you what," Ruby told him calmly. "If you make it this time, you can take a break." She turned him around to face Devon. He gazed at her nervously as she smiled reassuringly at him. "You can do it..."
Pterano nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep sigh; Alright, Pterano. You heard the lady. You can do this...He opened his eyes again, taking a baby step towards Devon and another and another. "You can do it..." Ruby chanted, walking behind him to catch him if he falls. "You can do it..."
As he stepped closer to Devon, Pterano noticed that he felt more balanced and began to take bigger steps and seemed to walk faster. He smiled; I can do this...
It wasn't very long until he was able to grasp Devon's hand as it was reaching out to him. His smile grew wider as he stopped beside Devon. They smiled at each other as they high fived.
The children cheered happily. "All right, Pterano! You did it!" Chomper exclaimed. Pterano bowed playfully as the children laughed. He stood up straight, only to completely lose balance and fall backwards...
He was so lucky Ruby was there because if she wasn't, he would've probably injured his back even more. He fell right into her arms as she pushed him back on his feet. "Thanks Ruby." he smiled sheepishly
A few days passed by as Pterano improved on his walking. Soon enough, he no longer needed anyone to escort him to places. He just needed his handy dandy staff that Devon found for him while fishing the previous morning.
And that brings us to Devon as he stood at the entrance of the cave, watching the stars as tears were pouring down his cheeks. He pondered over what his father had told him just a few weeks before. The thought of his father being as evil as he is haunted him. "I was gonna disown ya anyway..." He closed his eyes, only for his quiet moment to get interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Devon looked up to see his older friend gazing down at him with concern in his dark blue eyes. Without an answer, Devon threw his arms around Pterano's waist, crying into his chest. "What's wrong, son?" Pterano asked, as he wrapped his arms around the kid below him.
The younger flyer didn't answer his question as he buried his face into his chest, tightening his arms around him. Pterano just held the boy close, rubbing his hands up and down his back, trying his absolute best to calm him down. He held him for what seemed like forever before Devon pulled back, gazing up at the older flyer with great admiration. "Are you okay?" Pterano asked, wiping the sad young flyer's cheek.
Devon hesitated, sighing and laying his cheek directly over Pterano's heart. He closed his eyes. "He disowned me..."
Pterano's eyes widened in horror and disbelief, before gritting in teeth in anger. It didn't even take a millisecond for him to figure out what Devon was taking about. Sure he expected it, but it sure made him mad. If Sierra was in sight, Pterano wouldn't hesitate one second to feed that no good dirty rotten poor excuse of a father to the sharpteeth himself. Oh yes, he was going to kill him...
"It's okay," Devon spoke after a while, snapping Pterano out of his thoughts. "I probably deserved it."
Pterano pulled him away from him but he still held on to him. "Devon, don't you dare talk about yourself that way! Do you hear me? You are an amazing kid." He made sure to emphasize the word 'amazing'. "When I told you I couldn't ask for a better son, I meant it."
"Please don't leave me."
"Devon, that is never going to happen. Do you hear me? It's not! Sierra can't get rid of me that easily." Devon laughed at his friend's statement. Even in times like these, he absolutely loved how Pterano spoke. "And speaking of Sierra, you'd better hope beyond all hope that I don't see him again. Cause if I do, I'm going to knock him straight off his perch!" Devon laughed harder as Pterano cupped his cheek gently. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Ya promise?"
"With all of my heart."
Devon threw his arms around Pterano's neck, hugging him tightly as he felt strong, protective arms warp around his waist, pulling him closer. He smiled through his leftover tears. "I love you...Dad."
Pterano's eyes widened; Did I finally hear those four words? He smiled the biggest smile, letting tears of joy run down his cheek, not giving a rock if Devon knew he was crying or not. "I love you too, my son." He tightened his arms around the kid, pulling him even closer.
Devon nuzzled his shoulder happily. Never before had he felt so protected. Never before had he felt so comfortable. So loved. There was no safer place in the world than being in Pterano's arms, he decided, not even the Great Valley. He literally felt like, no matter how scary or confusing the world may seem, Pterano's arms would be the safest place to turn to. His warm embrace was something that could never be replaced. He even fell asleep, right there in the older flyer's arms.
Pterano chuckled softly as he lifted his son off the ground and carried him into the cavern, placing the younger flyer gently on the ground. He smiled proudly as he continued to hold the sleepy blue flyer he wished his son. He nuzzled him gently, chuckling. "Sweet dreams, my son." No sooner than this, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.
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One word: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just love father son moments! Especially when I write them. Pterano would make a cool dad wouldn't he?
Any way, hope you liked this chapter. It may not be as long other chapters. But it's not as short as Chapter three either.
Jared, I'll bet you're in tears right now. This chapter made me cry too. Just leave feedback as soon as you can.
That goes for all of you!
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One word: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another word: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG that scene with Devon and Pterano was SO CUTE!!!!! I loved it!!! And I know a certain someone who will also like this...*shifty eyes* :lol
Loved the chapter and please update as soon as you can!!!
Jared, you're gunna have a kick outta this one! ;)
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AWWWWWWW! Yes! It moved me to tears, too! I LOVED the WHOLE scene with Devon and Pterano! It was very cute, and so tender. I quickly started flooding tears...
The whole Devon and Pterano scene was the most TENDER, LOVING flyer moment I've ever read! It touched my heart!!
The part where Devon told Pterano "I love you...Dad" :cry That was so.. TENDER!!
Yes, Pterano would make a perfect father! :)
I'm still crying right now. :cry :cry I LOVED the ending where Devon fell asleep, and Pterano held him and gently nuzzled him in his arms.. :cry That was VERY tender, heartwarming, and so LOVING!!! :cry
:cry *snifff!* CHAPTER 6 was PERFECT, trulyfantasticme! I'm STILL in TEARS! :cry
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This chapter was so cute! The father-son moment was so beautiful. Keep updating, I look forward to more of this story.
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Yes, this was a very tender chapter, and I loved it. I'm likign the way your being very descriptive with how the characters are moving and interacting with each other. It really shows a lot of emotion, and how the characters feel about each other, which is great. Also, looks like it's about time to head to the Great Valley, is Pterano going to go?
Also, how much longer is this story going to be?
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*GASP!* OMG! Guys I'm so sorry for the long wait! But I had lots of school work to do and I couldn't get to my stories. :cry But I finally got it done today. So uhh...
HERES DA NEXT CHAPPIE!
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The Warning
A few more weeks pass in the Mysterious Beyond. Pterano made even more recovery as he no longer needed the stick. And ever since, Pterano, with the help of Devon would tell adventurous stories to the children. They were closer than ever now. Ever since that night, they would treat eachother as father and son. Every thing they did together brought them closer, whether it was telling stories, fishing on a sunny afternoon or just watching the stars at night. Their father son bond was something that could never be taken away from them, not even by Sierra.
And speaking of telling stories, one night Pterano stood above the children, telling them the one story he had never told them before. "It all started when I was soaring in the sky, just watching over my sister and her new born kids..." He winked at Petrie as he stared up at him with great admiration.
FLASHBACK
Pterano soared over the herd below him. It had been a few weeks since Petrie and his siblings was born. He couldn't help but smile with pride as he watched over his sister and her children. But he noticed one was missing: Petrie. He craned his neck to see a curious baby Petrie sniffing a treestars.
He smiled lovingly. This just had to be the cutest sight. But he also noticed a dark figure of a sharptooth...AND IT WAS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR PETRIE!!!! Pterano gritted his teeth. When you're a flyer, there are times you gotta do what a flyer's gotta do. This was one of those times. "Not with my nephew, you don't." he muttered before diving into the trees below.
He landed on a treebranch with a vine, just waiting for the right time to strike. The sharptooth came into view and Pterano saw his chance. He dived for the sharptooth's jaws, tying the vine around them as tight as he could. Then he aimed for the legs and tied them just as tight, causing the sharptooth to fall over. "Yeah, not on my watch, you over grown rats with teeth!"
"Pterano!"
This caught the red flyer off guard, nearly knocking him over. He knew that grumpy voice anywhere. "What's the big idea?!? It's me!!"
Things aren't always what they seem as this so called "sharptooth" appeared to be none other than...
"Mr. Threehorn!" Pterano landed beside the old threehorns face. "I'm so sorry! You looked so much like a sharptooth from up there..."
****
The kids burst out laughing as Cera was the first one to do so, spitting out the chewed treestar that was in her mouth. Pterano laughed as well. "That was you!?! Pterano nodded, smiling at the young threehorn. "I can't believe you thought my dad was a sharptooth!"
"Me neither, Cera." Pterano agreed.
"Well, what happened?" Littlefoot asked curiously.
"Well, let's see here," Pterano thought for a moment, scratching his head. "Petrie finally came into view, he was staring from a tree branch. And then a certain young threehorn girl," he winked at Cera. "appeared from behind the trees and laughed her tail off. The next thing I knew, we were in front of the whole herd!"
"Did you untie him?" Ruby asked.
"Of course, after he promised not to kill me." He chuckled along with the kids while saying that.
"And then what?" Chomper asked.
"He chased me off," Pterano smiled as they chuckled. "Never act without thinking, kids. It'll ruin you..." he drifted off, hanging his head in shame. This reminded him of his when he lead part of the herd into their deaths. "Literally..."
Petrie immediately noticed this and knew exactly what he was sad about. But before he could do anything to comfort his uncle...
"Already, kids! Bedtime." Joe told the kids as Pterano nodded in agreement.
So the children curled up in the corner, noticing that Joe was right. It was bedtime! Pterano lied himself by Petrie, who was already sound asleep against Littlefoot's side. He smiled at his nephew; he looked so cute all curled up like that. He curled himself protectively around Petrie and Littlefoot.
Devon laid himself beside Pterano, laying his head on his shoulder. "Goodnight, Dad."
Of course, he received no response because they were all asleep. Devon too fell asleep in a matter of seconds.
****
Devon opened his gray-green eyes, sitting up immediately after. He noticed that Pterano was missing from the group. He looked around unti something caught his eyes: Greenfood...and a great big pile of it. Then a certain red flyer caught to corner of his eye. None other than...
"Pterano?"
The older flyer smirked at him and then at the green food. "Did you...?" Devon drifted off in shock. Did Pterano really fly to get all this food?
"Enjoy." Pterano simply replied, handing Devon a treestar.
"Thanks, but uhh...how'd you get all this food?...Did you fly?"
"I climbed," Pterano chuckled. "Who knew my big feet would one day come handy." They laughed at the statement.
"Yay! It's not a dream!" Cera shouted, being the first one to rush into the pile instead of Spike.
Pterano chuckled. "Breakfast is served."
****
Later that day, Devon, Petrie and Pterano stood on top of the cave, right over the cave opening. "Now all it takes," Devon demonstrated, spreading his wings. "is a little wind and you're up in no time."
Pterano did exactly what Devon demonstrated and spreaded his wings for the first time in weeks to feel that cool breeze h missed so much. "Got it." With that, he ran to the edge and flapped his wings...
Only to fall straight onto Joe's spiky back. "Ow..."
The old spiketail couldn't help but laugh at the red flyer. "Goodness, Pterano! What have you been eating?"
"Uncle!" Petrie, along with Devon, flew down and landed next to Pterano. "You okay?"
"I guess so," Pterano replied, sitting up and rubbing the bottom of his beak. "It could have been worse if Joe wasn't here."
Joe smiled up at him. "Well, ya wanna try again?" Devon asked. The red flyer nodded, smiling like a five year old.
The next few days was spent working on Pterano's flight. It may have been a pain in the butt to do this, but each day, Pterano improved and got stronger and faster and way better at flying than before. Each day, Pterano would be flying with more force.
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Okay I have to stop there. I'm friggin tired right now, It's 10:40 and I have school tomorrow. But I should be able to post the rest of this chappie tomorrow and I have Chappie 8 done so...
Update: Hello, everyone! Miss me much? Here's the rest of the chapter that you all have been waiting for!
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The eighth day...
The three flyers stood on top of the cave once again with a usual self-confident Pterano. "Are you ready?" Devon asked.
"I was born ready." Pterano replied, spreading his wings as the sun reflected off his crest. Without another word, he took off to the skies, at first falling, due to the fact that this was his first time he actually flew since that fight with Sierra. But then he caught his flight back as he rose to the sky, causing an eclipse between the sun and the cave.
"There ya go, Dad!" Devon shouted after the red flyer. "Now yer gettin the hang of it! Just don't go bumping into trees this time!"
Pterano laughed as he flew even higher and faster. He took a deep breath of that familiar fresh air that flew into his face. He couldn't help but swell with pride and joy as he flew over the trees, memories of his childhood hit him. He and his uncle would race over trees like the ones below all the time. They would always race to the Rock That Looks Like A Longneck all the time back in the day. And when they got there, they would camp there for the best two nights of Pterano's life.
He chuckled joyfully at the memory as he flew around a tree and back. He was so happy that he was in the skies once again. Literally, he felt like he was in his teens again. The joy and pride finally got to him when he began to shout gleefully. "WHAAA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone chuckled at this, even Cera. Finally he landed in the cave, scooping Ducky up in his arms and dancing with her playfully. Ducky, at first was shocked by Pterano's sudden action. Then she just laughed happily, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck, just enjoying the fact that Pterano was playing with her.
He spun her around multiple times until he placed her on the ground gently before falling on his back beside her, gasping for air. "Whoo!"
Devon flew to his side, standing over both him and Ducky. "I take it that you've had fun with today's lesson..." he told the older flyer. The both of them and Ducky chuckled at Devon's statement as Pterano sat up. It was silent now.
"...When do we eat?" Chomper asked, noticing that his stomach was growling. Every one laughed their heads off at the young sharptooth's comment. Chomper will be Chomper...
****
Within the next few days, it was about time to head back to the Great Valley. Devon was invited to come along. And so was Joe. But he refused, saying that his family still needs him. And so they said there reluctant goodbyes and thank yous and headed their own directions. Also at sunset, Pterano and Devon would have their own mini races at sunset so that Pterano would grow faster. That and just for the heck of it. But the fun ended when...
Pterano and Devon raced in the forest, doing their absolute best not to bump into any trees. "Come on, old timer," Devon teased. "Is that the best ya got?"
"You wish, hotshot," Pterano returned. To Devon's astonishment, he flew faster but not even thinking about where he was going or what he was flying into. Thump! He flew straight into a tree and fell to the ground. "Ow..."
Devon chuckled, landing beside him. "Oh, Pterano...Out of the mouths of hatchlings as they say..."
Pterano stood up, rubbing his back in pain."Very funny..." Their moment ended when they heard a low voice coming from the branches above them.
"Just like old times, eh Pterano?"
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There ya go everyone! Just like I promised. Hope you enjoyed it.
lol, Pterano bumping straight into a tree. :lol
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Nice chapter, it's funny how Pterano landed on Joe's...gosh I just can't get over how funny it sounds, back. :lol
So THAT'S where that caption came from, I was wondering where you got that idea. Heh heh.
Anyways, good chaoter and get the next one up soon!
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Actually that's just part of it. I'll PM you when I get the rest done.
*coughcough*later today! *coughcough*
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Ooh, Pterano's about to go to the Great Valley, how exciting! I'm interested to see how everyone reacts to him, expecially Mr. Threehorn! Let's see how welcomed he really is in his old home.
Anyway, great chapter! I liked actually seeing the story you spoke of in a few other posts, and also the other glimpses into Pterano's past.
I look forward to what happens next :DD
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Here's Chappie Eight.
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Final Battle
"Just like the old days, eh Pterano?"
Devon and Pterano nearly jumped out of their skin as they turned to the branches above. They gasped. Devon was the first to act as he clenched his fists and glared at his former father darkly. "What do you want?"
Sierra landed in front of them, smirking evilly as usual. Pterano stood protectively in front of him, taking out his claws. "Harm a single claw on him, and you're dead meat!" The red flyer growled, preparing himself for any kind of combat he'll have to face.
Sierra chuckled. "As much as I'd love to pound on the both of you, I'm afraid I'm the least of your problems."
As if on cue, a loud roar shook the land, nearly knocking Pterano and Devon to the ground as they gripped onto each other for support. A familiar scream came after the roar with a loud-
"HHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Pterano's eyes widened as he knew that call for help any where. "Petrie!" He then glared harshly at his former comrade, gritting his teeth. "What have you done with my nephew?!?"
Before Sierra could answer, Devon placed a hand on Pterano's shoulder. "I'll take care of him." Devon told the old flyer. "You go save the children."
Pterano stared at him with a concerned "are you sure?" look but Devon just nudged him gently. "Your nephew needs you."
Finally, the older flyer nodded in response before flying off in the direction in which they heard the roar. Devon gazed at him for a meaningful moment before turning his glare towards his cruel father. Sierra chuckled. "Whoa, Devon, this is not like you to fight your dear old father."
"Dear old father, my tail bone!" Devon snapped, taking his claws out.
"Come on, son, can't we talk this over?" Sierra asked in his fake friendly voice. This made Devon even angrier.
"I am NOT your son!" The blue flyer yelled. "You are nothing but a dirty liar. First of all, you lied to me my whole life, putting doubts into my head and abusing me! You even lied to me about Pterano. Then you hurt him just because he won't help you in getting your revenge, nearly taking away the only friend I've had."
"Oh boo hoo hoo!" Sierra mocked. "Why do you even love that weakling anyway?"
"I love him because he actually cared for me when you practically ignored me! And he took me in when no one else did. I mean, sure he did some awful stuff in the past. But why does that matter? He's changed! And this is why I call him my father instead of you!"
"How do you know he's not just playing with you? How do you know he's not trying to fiddle with your mind so he can betray you?"
"Because I can see it in his eyes that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me! He's better than you'll ever be!" With that, Devon punched his former father in the face, knocking him into a tree.
Sierra sat up, feeling the bruise on his face from Devon's punch. He smirked. "Well, I must say I'm impressed. That was a good punch." Unexpectedly, he stood up and punched the blue flyer, sending him a good five feet backwards into a boulder. "But not good enough."
****
Pterano soared in the skies, desperately hoping he could get to the children on time. For a long five minutes, he could see nothing but the trees below him. But then, he could see a trees shaking and loud footsteps. Another loud roar took place.
He took a closer look, seeing the children getting chased a red sharptooth, almost twice the size of Red Claw. He narrowed his eyebrows determinedly before taking a dive for the sharptooth.
****
Sierra pinned the blue flyer against a tree, squeezing his throat tightly. "I knew you couldn't beat me." He growled darkly, tightening his hand around Devon's throat. "I offered you you're freedom. Yet you refused." Sierra grabbed the pointy rock he used to nearly kill Pterano. "Now you die..."
But before Sierra could really do anything, Devon kicked him in the gut, knocking him to the ground. "I may not be as strong as you, but at least I'm not heartless."
Sierra growled at him, holding his stomach in pain. Without another word, Devon grabbed the brown flyer by the arm, punching him repeatedly. "This is for Pterano!" With that, he kicked the brown flyer backwards into the same tree as before, only this time knocking him unconscious.
Devon breathed heavily, smiling in astonishment. He took baby steps towards the unconscious Sierra, picking up the pointy rock that he dropped. He knelt by him, pointing the sharp rock to his throat...
A few seconds rolled by. Devon still held the pointy rock, pondering over whether he should do it or not. He knew Pterano would not be very happy if he did. He would not be very happy if he didn't. But although, he hated his father, he was not a murderer. And besides, if he did do it, he would not only be a murderer, he would also be no better than Sierra.
He sighed, dropping the pointy rock away from the brown flyer's throat before reaching down to punch him one last time...
All of a sudden, Sierra opened his eyes and grabbed his hand and punched him in the face, knocking him unconscious. "I gotta say, you had me there. Too bad I'll have to kill you." He took the pointy rock and then dropped it as an idea hit him
****
The children ran for their dear lives, trying their absolute best to find a good hiding place. But only to see that they were surrounded by nothing but boulders as the sharptooth gained on them.
The sharptooth stood exactly twenty feet from them as things went silent and time froze for a frightening moment.
A whole minute went by as the sharptooth roared again causing the children to topple over on top of each other. He raced towards them, getting closer and closer as the children braced themselves.
Ten feet...
The children embraced for what seemed like the last time.
Five feet...
The sharptooth got closer as he opened his jaws, ready to take in his dinner. He bent down next to the children as they buried their faces, preparing for impact.
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Whew, what an epic chapter that was! Wow! So much better than hand-written.
Enjoy.
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Really exciting chapter, and a cliff hanger to boot! Nice to see that Devon was able to show mercy, even thought it's just getting him into more trouble with Sierra.
Interesting that you didn't just get Redclaw to chase the kids. He's too much of a pushover I guess?
So, no Great Valley for Pterano yet, but at least this was a great chapter. I'm still waiting for his welcome home party...or lack therof. :lol
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Oh noes! A cliffhanger!!!! Darn it!!!! You leave me in suspense.
Anyway, great chapter and part two of the previous chapter was cool too. Great action and like vonboy said, it's nice to see that Devon isn't as bad as Sierra and didn't kill him when he had the chance, but, aw crap, the plan backfired.
Update soon! :)
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Wow! NOW THAT'S what I call one suspenseful chapter....WHAT A cliffhanger... Devon is in danger of being killed by Sierra!! :unsure: And Petrie and the other children are about to be eaten by a sharptooth!
WILL the poor, young, innocent blue cearadactylus Devon avoid being killed by the NASTY, DIRTY, MEAN Sierra?
WILL Pterano be able to save the children from being eaten by a sharptooth?
We'll find out soon enough.....hopefully in the next chapter..
Chapter 8 is your most suspenseful chapter yet, trulyfantasticme. GREAT job! :yes
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Well now, ONTO CHAPTER NINE!!!! :lol
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Final Battle Part Two
The sharptooth got closer as he opened his jaws, ready to take in his dinner. He bent down next to the children as they buried their faces, preparing for impact.
But to their surprise, the impact never came at all. Petrie was the first brave enough to open his eyes to see a familiar red figure holding the sharptooth's claws wide open, preventing him from harming any of the kids. He recognized the old flyer in an instant. "UNCLE!!"
This caused the others to open their eyes. "Run kids!" Pterano shouted as it took all his strength not to let go of the sharptooth's jaws. "RUN!!!"
Without another word, the kids ran for it as Pterano finally let go of his jaws, flying into the air. The sharptooth recovered as he stood up at eye level with Pterano, only to get punched in the nostrils by the red flyer. The sharptooth wiggled his nose uncomfortably in response.
With his focus now on Pterano, the sharptooth snapped his jaws at the red flyer. Pterano dodged the blow, then led the sharptooth into the forest.
****
The children continued running for dear life when Littlefoot stopped dead in his tracks with a stern face. Everyone noticed this and stopped as well. "Why are you not running, Littlefoot?" Ducky asked.
"We have to help him." The young longneck replied with a determined face.
****
Pterano landed on a tree branch with a vine in hand, waiting for the sharptooth to come into view. Of course, he didn't have to wait long for the sharptooth would be right on his tail. He took a deep breath. "Let's dance..." With that, he took a dive for the sharptooth's legs, tying them as tight as he could and then using the vine to tie the sharptooth's jaws shut just as tight.
He landed on the sharptooth's back as the sharptooth fell onto his stomach. Pterano sighed in relief before gasping, suddenly remembering about Devon. He craned his neck to see two flyer figures hovering high in the air. He also noticed that one of them was blue. He recognized the blue flyer immediately. "Devon!" Without another word, he flew up after Devon.
****
By now, the children arrived just in time to see Pterano take off, leaving the sharptooth all tied up. "Wow!" Cera exclaimed in awe. "He sure wasn't lying!"
****
Sierra held the unconscious blue flyer's neck, squeezing it tightly as a swimming sharptooth lurked in the Big Water below them. "Say goodnight, Devon," the brown flyer whispered darkly into Devon's ear. With that, he dropped his former son into the Big Water. Sierra chuckled evilly.
Only to be surrounded by a dark shadow. "Get away from my son!"
This caused the brown flyer to turn around. He was greeted by a red fist to the eye. This knocked him unconscious. Sierra's unconscious body fell into the Big Water.
No sooner than this, Pterano dove after Devon into the Big Water. He almost gasped to see the swimming straight for the blue flyer lying on his back.
Pterano clenched his fists, diving for the sharptooth's head, landing on him and then pecking his eye out. The sharptooth snapped his jaws multiple times in response, throwing Pterano off and opened his jaws to consume the still unconscious blue flyer.
Pterano rammed into him again, this time, closing his jaws before he could actually consume Devon. The monster has just about had it with the old flyer as he craned his head towards him.
With his focus now on Pterano, the sharptooth hissed and Pterano gritted his teeth in response. He took this opportunity to lead the sharptooth away from Devon.
Soon enough, Pterano would be so far ahead of the monster that he could hide, if he hurried. He dove into a small rock formation, watching as the monster swam by, not even noticing the older flyer.
He popped his beak out of the rock formation, watching as the swimming sharptooth swam away from him into the debris. He then craned his neck to see an unconscious Devon laying the rock, just about to fall into the dark abyss below him.
Pterano swam up to him at full speed and took him by the waist. His head rested on Pterano's shoulders as the red flyer swam up to the surface.
"Uncle! Over here!" Petrie shouted from the shore. Littlefoot and Cera tossed the vines they had by their sides into the Big Water.
"Grab on!" Littlefoot instructed.
Pterano did exactly what he was told, he clasped the vine and still held Devon in the other arm. "Pull!" Littlefoot yelled with the vine in his mouth. The gang, Ruby and Chomper helped pull on the vine.
"Hang on, Uncle!" Petrie shouted as he pulled with all his might.
Pterano and Devon drifted closer and closer until they were on shore. Pterano coughed out water before cradling the blue flyer in his arms. Sadness and worry swooped over him as he stroked his head gently. His heart pounded in his chest as he held his claw over Devon's neck, desperately hoping to feel even the slightest thump...
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Another cliffhanger folks! Now this chapter took all my energy to type! It's one heck of a chapter!
Anyway, enjoy. :smile
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It just keeps getting better and better. Your really making me feel bad about the little Pterano story I'm trying to write for my fanfiction. :unsure:
I do have to bring something up here though. How could a flyer be that strong? Pterano seems to be showing some superhuman strength holding a gigantic T-Rex's jaws open like that. It just seems kinda far-fetched to me
it was still a very cool fight, even though it didn't seem very believable to me. I loved the continued action, how the kids actually helped, and the cliffhanger is great, just like with Pterano from earlier in this story.
You keep holding off from the Great Valley. That dang Valley better be as good as Littlefoot's Mom said it was :p
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Pterano is tough when it comes to Devon or the children. :lol
You gotta have your imagination. Where would I be without mine? :smile
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Crap, more cliffhangers. :lol
Anyways, great chapter! You're a pretty awesome writer and you keep me excited in every chapter. :yes
Sierra's just so evil, isn't he? Trying to kill Devon like that, and speaking of devon...he better not be dead! If he is I'm going to have a spaz.
Update soon! :)
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Another suspenseful chapter!
Oh no! Devon is still unconscious from the fight with Sierra! I hope he's still alive. He's such a good, young, friendly, kind, and caring blue cearadactylus. I hope he isn't dead! :cry :cry
I hope Pterano can still feel Devon's heartbeat. Please don't die, Devon! :cry :cry
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OH MY GOODNESS! IT'S MY 100TH POST!!!! YAAAAYYY!!!!
Any way, here's chapter ten. Warning: it's gonna get very sad.
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Pterano's Sacrifice
...Thump...thump...
Pterano opened his eyes, sighing with great relief. "What do we do now?" Ruby asked. "If we don't stop this monster, he could kill all of us before we reach the Great Valley!"
Littlefoot thought for a moment, trying to come up with an idea. A few seconds pass, and his mind is still blank. He sighed in defeat, hanging his head. For once, he couldn't come up with anything to say except, "I...don't know..."
"I do..." Pterano whispered to himself as he placed the unconscious blue flyer on the ground gently. He placed a sad paw on Devon's forehead before turning to the children. "Chomper, Ruby, you two take care of Devon." The blue sharptooth and the pink fast-runner nodded at Pterano's commandment, rushing to Devon's side. "The rest of you, get on my back. I have an idea."
The children stared at eachother with confused "is he crazy?" looks.
****
It took all of his strength to do this as he carried the gang except Petrie, who flew beside him on his back.
Pterano landed behind a massive rock pile on a rock platform, over a deep dark cave. "Now here's what I want you to do," Pterano demonstrated. "When the swimming sharptooth reaches the cave, I want you all to push as hard as you can on these boulders and knock them over the cave opening. And after words," the red flyer pointed at two tall hills in the distance. "Do you see those hills?"
"...Yeah," Littlefoot replied, eying Pterano with an unsure look.
"You fallow the path in between those hills and you shall see the Great Valley."
"What about you, Pterano?" Cera asked, her voice in concern.
"I'll be leading him into the cave. I should be able to hold him off long enough...for you to escape."
The children gasped in disbelief. Now this all made sense! Petrie was the first to talk. "But Uncle...he'll kill you!"
"Then I will finally have paid for my mistakes." Pterano replied in a soft voice, sending his nephew a loving smile.
"Stop talking like that!" Littlefoot pleaded, his voice in utter worry. "There has to be another way. We need you!"
"No," Pterano corrected, putting his hand up. "It is I who have always needed you." He smiled at the five. "All of you!" He knelt by the young longneck. "Young Littlefoot, you have been the greatest leader I have ever seen in my life. Better than I will ever be." He chuckled before staring into the longneck's brown eyes, placing a hand on his back. "Your mother would've been so proud of you."
Littlefoot gazed at the older flyer in shock; Pterano was one of the last dinosaurs on earth he would have expected to have known about his mother. But on the other hand, that last remark by Pterano had somehow meant a lot to the young longneck. He didn't know exactly why, but it did. So he told the older flyer the one thing he had told his father several cold times ago. "She'd be proud of you, too...Pterano."
Pterano smiled at him before turning to Ducky and Spike, who stared back at him worriedly. "I'm going to miss you." Without warning, Ducky jumped off Spike's back and hugged the red flyer's neck tightly. Pterano at first was shocked by this, but then he quickly got over it and placed his hands around her waist, holding her protectively against him for a meaningful moment. Spike nuzzled his side gently as Pterano rubbing a hand on his back. The red flyer chuckled softly as he nuzzled the younger spiketail in return.
He placed the young swimmer on Spike's back before turning to the young threehorn. "Cera..."
She sighed sadly as she too gazed up at him. "Well, I'm not gonna lie to ya," she told him. "I'm gonna miss you."
Pterano unexpectedly pulled her into a hug. "I shall miss you too, Cera. Tell your father I said I'm sorry for me, okay?"
"Of course, Pterano." They smiled at eachother before breaking the hug. Pterano turned to his nephew, who was struggling his hardest to keep his tears back. He held out his arm and Petrie perched himself on it.
"There has to be another way!" the younger flyer spoke, finally shedding a tear, but Pterano wiped it away with his claw. "I don't want you to leave."
"Petrie, believe me," the older flyer explained. "I wish there was another way. But it's just the Circle of Life." Petrie shedded more tears, nuzzling his uncle's arm gently. "Petrie, I can not even tell you how much of a true blessing to have you here with me. You have become such a brave adventurer. Your father would be so proud of you...and so am I."
Petrie gazed up at his uncle with great admiration. The last statement by him meant so much to him, he flew up and perched himself on his beak, surprised that he could still fit.
Pterano's smile grew wider as he gently ran a claw up and down his nephew's back. Their tender uncle-to-nephew moment was interrupted when the swimming sharptooth roar loudly, causing Pterano to knock Petrie off his beak by turning it towards the loud roar. Pterano flew on top of the piled rocks, taking a couple small ones in his hand before turning back to the children, who gazed at him with worry and sadness in their eyes. He smiled softly at them, whispering these words for the first ans last time.
"Thanks for setting me free, kids."
Without another word, he dived for the Big Water, pulling up at he last minute and flying full speed at the monster that was SWIMMING STRAIGHT TOWARDS CHOMPER, RUBY AND THE STILL UNCONSCIOUS DEVON!!!!!
For a better shot, Pterano waited until the monster was above the water. He didn't have to wait very long because just when the thought had come to him, the sharptooth jumped out of the water, snapping his jaws at the kids, hoping to get a taste of flesh and bones...
Only to taste a flying rock instead.
"Hey, up here!" Pterano shouted before throwing the rock at the monster's eye. This caused him to turn his head towards the red flyer. "That's right, big guy! Come this way!!!"
The monster dived back into the water as Pterano lead him into the cave. The monster jumped at him, but Pterano dodged by flying higher before continuing to lead him into the cave.
Almost there...he thought, just before he reached the cave. And when he did, he noticed that the monster was right on his tail as he lunged at the red flyer. Pterano, knowing that he was gonna die anyway, braced himself for impact as rocks of all sizes crashed into the Big Water, blocking the cave opening for once and for all.
Silence filled the air. Chomper, Ruby and the now awakened Devon stared in disbelief at the rocks that now trapped the swimming sharptooth and the red flyer. It was so silent, you could hear the quiet "Uncle?" from a long distance away. The five looked down at the Big Water to see if Pterano had made it...
Only to see nothing but rocks, water...and a big pile of blood floating right next to the cave opening.
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Whew! What another chapter. How's that for epicness!
Enjoy!
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...D:
WHAT'S GUNNA HAPPEN NOW!?!?!?!
Okay, so now Pterano's going to sacrifice himself for the kids, didn't expect that. Looks as if that plan hasn't really gone accordingly, but it might've now...
Anyways, update soon before I have a spaz! :DD
P.S. Congrats on the post number! :)
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Hooray! Devon's alive...and awake, too! :D I'm so GLAD he's ok. :)
But... now Pterano could be dead. :cry Now THAT was quite a sacrifice. Pterano is SO BRAVE!! I think he killed the swimming sharptooth. I hope he made it through. I hope he wasn't crushed to death by the rocks!!! :unsure: :cry
I hope he made it through.
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This came out of left field for me. I wouldn't have even expected Pterano to sacrifice himself like that :confused .
He really is a changed flyer :cry .
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:anger I HATE THE NEW FIREFOX!!!! IT TOOK AWAY MY CHAPTER THAT I WAS WORKING ON TO POST!!! AND NOW IT TOOK IT!!!!! I'M SO F&*@#$% MAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! AND NOW I HAVE TO TYPE IT AGAIN!!!
sorry. But I just had to post that. any way, onto chappie eleven. Again.
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In Loving Memory
The rest of the after noon was spent grieving for the diseased flyer. Most noticeably and emotionally, Petrie and Devon. For Devon, Pterano was the by far greatest father a son would ever ask for. He was kind and caring and understanding while his mean old father was everything but. He couldn't believe that he was gone forever from his life.
Same goes for Petrie. Pterano may have done alot of bad stuff in the stuff in the past, but he was still his uncle. And he knew what the word family means, no one gets left behind. No matter what they've done. And besides, after going after the so-called "Stone of Cold Fire," Petrie could tell by his uncle's eyes that he was sorry for what he had done. Not only that, but he could also tell that Pterano had changed majorly since his banishment.
Joe had also returned after hearing a loud scream for help in the trees. He came too late, but just in time to see what Pterano had done. He and everybody else stood on the beach as the full moon gleamed on them in silence.
"Tonight," Joe announced in his usual booming voice. "We bow our heads in deep respect for the loss of one of the bravest flyers I had ever seen in my day." He picked up his Night Flower that he had by his side and tossed it into the water. "We'll miss you, Pterano. Hope you have a great journey."
And so, every one paid their respects and said their goodbyes.
"Rest in peace, Pterano. Petrie was right about you. You have changed!"
"I never thought I'd say this but, you were a good flyer. Always have been. You just couldn't see it before...and neither could I."
"Thanks Petrie's Uncle. Had it not been for you, we'd all be dead right now. Yep, yep, yep."
"Thanks for the stories, Pterano. They were great!"
"Yeah, what Chomper said. Thank you, Pterano. I'll miss you."
Petrie was the next to approach the Big Water, holding a Night Flower in his hand, just like everyone else. A tear fell from his eye. "I love you, Uncle." He tossed it into the Big Water. "I'll never forget you."
Devon was the next one to approach the Big Water, except he didn't have a Night Flower like every body else did, but a giant treestar full of them and tree sweets. "Pterano, not only have you've been a good friend, but you have been the greatest father I would ever ask for. So I made ya this casket. I was gonna give it to ya when we reach the Great Valley. But since you...passed on, I'd just thought I'd give ya this now." He tossed the casket into the Big Water, watching tearfully as it floated into the open. "I'll miss you, old flyer. Good journey..."
****
Every one was now curled up in a fetal position, sound asleep.
Every one...except for a certain little flyer.
Petrie sat by the Big Water, watching the stars. He desperately wished this was all just a sleep story, like he could wake up and his uncle would be there by his side, smiling down at him the way a father would smile down at his son. And then they would embrace and he would feel that heartbeat of Pterano's that always calmed him down. After that, they would spend the whole day together, having little races of their own, fishing or just telling stories to his siblings, whatever it was that would make their bond even stronger. He sighed, letting more tears fall from his cheeks. Gosh, he missed his uncle so much.
"Petrie?"
His eyes widened in surprise, thinking it was his uncle that had called his name. He was so disappointed to find out that it wasn't. "Hey Devon."
The blue flyer sat by him, placing a hand on his shoulder for comfort. "I know how you feel..."
"Poor Uncle, he never got to see the Great Valley again." Petrie sniffed, wiping and incoming tear.
Devon looked at him firmly. "Hey, look at me." Petrie did what he was told. "Do you honestly think that the Great Valley made him happy?" He almost slapped himself. Gee, what a wonderful way to put it! he scolded himself. Get a grip, moron! "Well of course it could've made him happy, but nothing could have made him happier than spending his last few weeks with his nephew." he chuckled a little. "In fact, I have never seen him so happy."
"You think so?" Petrie gazed up at the blue flyer with hope.
"I know so. Did you see how happy he looked when he called you his son?" Petrie had suddenly remembered the brief conversation he and Pterano had that stormy morning. "He missed you very much, ya know." Devon continued.
"He did?"
"Of course! He was practically talking about you all the time! Even I couldn't get him to shut up about you." Devon sighed sadly. "He was a good old flyer, wasn't he?"
"He was. Petrie replied, also sighing sadly. He remembered what he had said about his uncle to his friends several cold times ago. "He act bad, but he still good. Some place inside."
Devon yawned, stretching his arms out. "We'll I'm hittin the hay. He returned to his resting place. "Goodnight, kiddo."
"Night, Devon," Petrie returned, before gazing up at the Night Circle. But the strange thing is, the Night Circle seemed alot brighter now and seemed to have some kind of halo around it. He smiled, for he somehow knew that somewhere up there, his uncle was smiling back.
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Awww! Reminds me of the Lion King! I feel so much better now.
RIP, Pterano...a Very Important Creature indeed. :cry
Enjoy!
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Wha...you mean-he really is- Pterano's dead?
NOOO!!!!!!!!! *dramatic music plays in background*
Oh, I'm crying right now, like I'm not even kidding, I can feel the tears leaking out of my eyes at the thought... :cry And let me tell you, my friend, it takes quite a lot to make me cry in a story and you...did just that. *pats on back* Nice work.
As was said before, R.I.P Pterano, a very imprtant creature... :cry
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I'm crying a flood of tears, here! Pterano's dead?!?!? NOOO!
I loved Petrie and Devon talking to each other in the end, though. That made me feel a little better. But, still, what a VERY sad and tragic chapter.
:cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry R.I.P. Pterano. You were a VERY important creature, and a very brave and courageous flyer. *sniff* *sob* :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry
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I suggest you work on your chapters in notepad or something similar, and then paste them into firefox. It's what I do, so I still have the original if something blows up in my face.
About Pterano...I can't think of what to say :cry Like I said last time, he really is a changed flyer!
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Yes, that's the end of the story folks...
........ :lol JUST KIDDING!!!! :lol
Boy are you in for one heck of a surprise in this chapter! :lol
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Return to the Great Valley
The next day, the Children were already on their way to the Great Valley. They said their goodbyes to Joe, who had to get back to his family. Devon promised to guide them through the Mysterious Beyond until they reached the two hills Pterano had mentioned.
There, the children and Devon said they’re goodbyes and thank yous and wished eachother good luck. Devon headed back to his herd that had already left the Mysterious Beyond but couldn’t have gone far. And just as Pterano had said, the path to the Great Valley was there in front of them. So Littlefoot and his friends headed through the trees that the path led to and they reached the Great Valley.
The grown ups were having a meeting, plotting to after the kids after so long. But the children arrived just in time for the meeting to end. So they were welcomed with open arms and emotional happiness by their parents.
The children hugged and nuzzled their parents as the day passed quickly. The children told their parents about how they were helping Pterano with his wounds and Pterano paid back his dept by telling those stories of his. “And speaking of Pterano,” Grandpa spoke. “His banishment is over. Shouldn’t he be here by now?”
“Maybe he is flying here right now.” Grandma Longneck suggested.
That made the children hang their heads in grief. To be honest, they wished Pterano was on his way to the Great Valley. But they knew that was impossible. Tory noticed this as she flew next to Littlefoot Petrie, who was on his head in concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Pterano...he…” Littlefoot sighed. “He sacrificed himself to save us.” He let a tear fall from his cheek. The grown ups gasped in shock. Pterano sacrificing himself to save the kids was something they would never expect in a million years. Tory placed a hand on Littlefoot’s shoulder. “Are you sure about this?”
Petrie couldn’t take it any longer as the pressure at the thought that his uncle was dead had gone up too high. He flew into his mother’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably against her neck. “He’s gone, Mama!”
Tory just didn’t know what to say as silence filled the air, except for Petrie crying of course. Pterano may have done a lot of bad stuff in his past, but he was still her brother. She just couldn’t believe that the flyer she grew up with was gone forever from her life. They all bowed their heads in respect for their once enemy.
Surprisingly enough, Mr. Threehorn was the first to speak. “Well, as much as I completely hated Pterano,” he spoke softly to the shock to the entire Great Valley. “He did save my daughter. Pterano, if you can hear me, I just wanted you to know that you have my deepest thanks for what you have done.”
“Thank you, Mr. Threehorn.”
This caused everyone to bring their heads up and look into the trees. A familiar crested flyer figure stood before them in the shadows, holding a stick in hand for balance and with a smile on his face.
Petrie broke out of his mother’s embrace to take a closer look. “Uncle?”
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Yes, it's a short chapter, maybe even shorter than chapter three. But, hey, a short chapter is better than no chapter at all! Am I right?
It's just how the rock rolls. :lol
Enjoy. :smile
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And your not telling us if that's Pterano or not? How evil of you. :anger
Just kidding. I'm at the edge of my seat right now :DD I really do hope it's Pterano, but it'd be equally as epic if it was Sierra out for more revenge! I'll just wait and see.
And if you didn't read my sig, I'm posting the first part of the Pterano story of my fanfic tomorrow, hope you like it! :)
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Oo..nice chappie.
Like vonboy said, I really hope it's Pterano, but it'd be pretty darn epic if it were Sierra. Anyways though, update soon!
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I really hope it's Pterano! It can't be Sierra. He doesn't have a crest, remember.
I, too, am on the edge of my seat. :) Please, let it be Pterano! I hope it's him! :D :DD
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Oh! That whole Sierra returning thing was my fault. I forgot to add in an extra detail. :lol
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As promised, here's the review! I really can't say enough about the scenes between Devon and Pterano. You really did a fantastic job with the emotions, and you really remind me of the stuff I like to read. This IS basically what I like to read. XD
This has been a heartwarming, glowing story, yet filled at the same time with lots of good suspense and action. I mean I'll say it again... you remind me a lot of some of my favorite authors. :smile
Well I guess I'm gonna have to live in suspense now until we find out who that flyer with the stick is. :p
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Hi everybody! I have reached my goal! Five chapters in five days! Whew! What a week!
Here's chapter thirteen every body
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Surprise Return
“Uncle?”
The flyer figure limped into view, using his stick for support. “Hello Petrie,” the flyer panted, clutching to his stick. “Well,” he panted again. “That…wasn’t so bad…” Turned out, this flyer turned out to be none other than…
Petrie couldn’t take it anymore. “UNCLE PTERANO!!!!!” He shouted happily as he threw himself on Pterano’s chest, bawling as his sensitive hearing picked up the red flyer’s heartbeat. Pterano staggered back but he regained his balance as he wrapped his arms around his nephew, holding him tightly. “Oh, Uncle! I thought you were dead and I would never see you again!”
“It’s okay, Petrie. I’m right here,” he kissed the top of Petrie’s head gently as he stated in that soft British accent that Petrie missed dearly. “That’ll never happen again, I promise.” Petrie just scooted closer to his uncle’s warmth for a meaningful moment, just enjoying the sound of his heartbeat.
Littlefoot was the first to speak. “So how did you get here?” he asked curiously.
“I flew,” Pterano simply replied as Petrie flew up and perched on the red flyer’s shoulder. “It wasn’t easy, but I made it through,” Pterano smiled as his nephew, who returned the smile right after. “I had a hard time landing with this broken leg,” he pointed to the treestar covering the bloody wound on his leg.
“So how you escape?” Petrie asked.
“Well,” Pterano sighed. “Let’s just say that if it wasn’t for you kids, that old sharptooth could have swallowed me whole.” The kids gasped as Petrie nuzzled him gently. “Thanks kids.” The red flyer smiled gratefully.
“Well, Pterano,” Grandpa Longneck spoke, interrupting their little “love fest”. “Your banishment is over. You may now live in the Great Valley.” Pterano and Petrie just smiled at eachother again as the rest of the gang cheered. “However, this is the only second chance you’ll get. So use it wisely.”
“I will,” the red flyer promised, smiling at the older longneck. He then stared at the ground for a moment, suddenly realizing that he needed to get something off his chest. “Mr. Longneck, I myself have something to say.”
“Oh, and what is that, Pterano?”
“I…”he took a deep breath. “I just wanted to let you all know that I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted.” This shocked the entire valley. Pterano? The most wanted criminal in the Great Valley was…apologizing to them? But then again, he wasn’t much of a criminal anymore so…
Mr. Threehorn was the first to speak. “You better be sorry, you little runt!” he growled, about getting into a fighting stance.
Tria glared angrily at him, slapping him with her tail, sending pain to his hind leg. “Let him finish!”
Pterano glared at him before turning back to the valley. “As I was saying,” he continued. “I thought long and hard about what you have told me, and you’re right. I should’ve taken the blame that night, but I didn’t. I wouldn’t blame you if you had Mr. Threehorn here chase me out of the valley.” He hung his head in shame as those harsh memories began to take over.
Grandma and Grandpa Longneck stared at eachother before male longneck lowered his neck until he was at eye level with Pterano, his eyes soft. “Pterano, you’re a good flyer. You always have been. You proved that when you saved Ducky from certain death and mention the way you risked your life to save these young children. I find that very brave and noble of you.”
Pterano looked back at Littlefoot as the young longneck smiled back at him. He just smiled in return before turning back to the older longneck. “Thank you, Mr. Longneck.”
The older longneck stretched his neck back into the sky. “Well now, Pterano, Mr. Thicknose will take care of your ankle while the rest of the Valley Council and I will discuss your return.”
The red flyer nodded, smiling and for once, he kind of admired the older longneck. He now knew where Littlefoot got his boldness from.
And so, Pterano went with Mr. Thicknose as the round-nosed dinosaur carefully checked his leg. He said that it was “just fine”. Pterano just needed to rest his ankle for a little while.
As for Pterano, just like Grandpa Longneck had said before, he was allowed to live in the Great Valley again as he reunited with the rest of his nephews and nieces. He found his own cave in the mountains in which he’d like to call, “a nice place to live.”
The next few weeks, when Pterano’s ankle was almost healed up, Devon found his way to the Great Valley and decided to live there. But little did he know that on the same day he did, he was in for a big surprise.
He was talking with the Great Valley Council about his decision when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Of course, he can be such a “scaredy egg” sometimes, he jumped in fright at the impact. Then he whirled around to see that it was none other than his dearest friend that he thought of as a father, whom he thought was dead. He leapt into Pterano’s arms joyfully as they were reunited once again. Since Devon had plans about moving here, Pterano invited him to move in with him in his new cave. Boy, you should have seen Devon’s reaction.
“Oh would I ever!” the blue flyer shouted as he threw himself into Pterano’s arms once again. “I’d love to! I’d love to!! I’D LOVE TOO!!!”
Pterano chuckled as he held the blue flyer that was like a son to him. “Grand! Welcome to your new home, my son.” And so they broke the big emotional hug and spreaded their wings before taking off into the sunset.
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Finally! One more chapter to go! And I'm proud of that, and yet sad about that because I had fun writing this!
Hope you enjoy.
hehe, notice how I said "Hope you enjoy" instead of simply "Enjoy."
:lol
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Ah, nice chapter.
Thank goodness it wasn't Sierra, wouldn't that just ruin the moment, but it would still be epic. :p
Heh heh, loved that little "walking (er...flying) into the sunset moment between Devon and Pterano. How sweet. Oh, I forgot to read this, one more chapter to go, eh? Hm...it was nice while it lasted anyways, this has been a great story. :yes
Anyways, nice chapter and update soon!
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Just one more chapter, eh? I'm kind of sad to see it end too. It has been a great story. Like Pterano said, it's been a great mix of emotion and action.
I'm a little surprised that really Mr.Threehorn was the only one that still didn't really want him back. Maybe it was how he had just saved the kids again, and how he kind of limped into the scene and whatnot.
Nice about the Great Valley Council :lol: I don't know if that was ever actually in canon LBT, but it sounds like it would have been.
Crazy how you did one a day five days in a row :blink: It's good to see that you've still kept them up in quality. It doesn't look like you just rush them out or anything. Is the final chapter gonna be soon, or are you gonna take a little rest from writing first?
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I'm so happy that Pterano's alive and ok! And he's back in the great valley. I was so happy when Petrie cried tears of joy, hugged Pterano, and listened to his heartbeat.
I was so happy that Devon's back with him, and he and Pterano are going to live together in Pterano's new cave near the valley! I'm so happy for Devon. That's so tender and heartwarming! :D
I'm also happy that Pterano's broken leg healed up, too. :)
Chapter 13 was so tender and heartwarming. I LOVED IT!!! :DD
One more chapter to go? ok. I look forward to reading the end of your WONDERFUL, suspenseful, heartwarming, action-filled story, "Lost In A Forest". This is the best flyer story i've ever read! :smile
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Well you're writing. How do I read it I wanted more :spit , hooked me. Strong story, sad :cry or merry :DD .
Next write that's great you are coming out. :smile
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So it was Pterano who reappeared. :smile Well that's certainly good. Yes I'd say the opening of the chapter, with the reveal and Petrie's delight was by far the best.
The ending of course made me smile. So Devon's come to live there, and he's got Pterano as well. :DD
One more chapter to go then, and we'll have the conclusion, unfortunately, but it's been a great read.
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So here's the final chapter of Lost in a Forest. Done already? Oh my goodness! I think I'm gonna cry! :cry
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Epilogue
Pterano, Devon and the gang of seven hung out in Pterano’s cave, just like they would every seven days for a night’s sleepover based on a deal that Pterano and Petrie made. “…and that’s how Red Claw got his scratch mark.” Pterano concluded his story to the children.
“Wow,” Chomper whispered in complete awe. “That’s pretty cool.”
“Thank you, Chomper,” Pterano told the young sharptooth before turning to the rest of the children. “Well now, I believe it is time for you kids to get some sleep.” That caused the children to whine.
“Oh, come on, Mr. Pterano!” Chomper complained, not really wanting to go to bed. “Just one more story?”
“Yes! Just one more?” Ruby begged.
“Well…” Pterano drifted off.
“Please, Uncle?” Petrie perched himself on his uncle’s shoulder, staring at him with what’s now called the “puppy eyes”. Pterano turned his head, staring at the young hatchlings that stared back at him. He saw the plead in their eyes, and all of a sudden, he couldn’t think of a reason to refuse. So…
“Well, alright.” The children cheered. “But one more and you’re going to sleep, understand?”
“Yes, Uncle.” Petrie replied before flying off his shoulder and landing on Littlefoot’s head.
Pterano thought for a moment. “How about the story that I’d like to call, Five Little Hatchlings.”
“Oooh,” Ruby stated as the children cuddled up around her. “This is gonna be good, I can tell.”
“Long, long time ago in a world far, far away,” Pterano started. “There was a poor old misunderstood flyer roaming around with a herd of traveling far walkers along with a couple of companions in search for the greater good.”
“Hmph! Sounds a lot like someone I know,” Cera eyed the red flyer with an angry glare.
“Cera!” Littlefoot scolded sending her an angry glare.
“It’s okay, young Littlefoot. We all make our mistakes. Well now where was I? Oh yes! Geez, I’m getting old!” That earned him chuckles from the children. “Any way, he was setting to make up for what he had done in the past and start over. But he did it all wrong…”
Later that night…
“…but even though he saved the children from the smoking mountains, the old flyer was banished to the Mysterious Beyond for five cold times.” Pterano concluded, smiling as he watched the children lay down. “But he would never forget those children. Those brave little children…that changed his heart forever.” His smile grew wider. They looked so cute all cuddled up like that. He bent himself over Littlefoot. “You’re mother would be very proud indeed, my dear child,” It was then he realized that he hadn’t called Littlefoot that for many years and it felt so good to do it again. He brought down his beak and gave the young longneck a little goodnight kiss. “And so am I.”
He bent himself over Ducky, who, of course, was sleeping against Spike’s neck. “Thanks for seeing good in me when no one else did.” And he kissed her forehead, before nuzzling her gently. “I love you...thank you for being the daughter I’ve never had.” He didn’t notice it, but she opened an eye and smiled at the red flyer, who was now hovering Cera. Now that she thinks of it, Pterano is kind of a good father figure to her, even though she was a swimmer and he was a flyer. But then again, why did that matter, her friend was a flyer. So why can’t a flyer be her father figure.
He gave every one else their goodnight kisses before he turned to his nephew. But before he could do anything, Petrie unexpectedly shot up and perched himself on his uncle’s chest, laying his tiny head over the older flyer’s heart. “I love you, Uncle.”
Tears of joy formed in his eyes as a smile crept on his face. He wrapped his arms around Petrie’s small body, holding him close. “I love you too, Petrie.” But the little flyer couldn’t hear him, for Pterano’s heartbeat had already lured him into a sleep.
Pterano chuckled, laying himself against the wall behind him as Petrie slept on top of him. “Sweet dreams, my little Petrie.” He closed his eyes for a moment, only to feel a small sensation crawl up his belly and rest herself on his chest next to Petrie.
“Goodnight, Petrie’s Uncle.” Ducky muttered, pulling Pterano’s wing over her completely and drifting into a sleep. No sooner did she say this, Devon rested his head on his shoulder, wrapping a wing around his waist falling asleep instantly with a smile on his face. Pterano couldn’t help but smile as he brought his other wing over Devon’s shoulders, pulling the blue flyer closer.
The rest of the children nestled their heads on his legs, thinking that his legs were comfortable enough to make great pillows. They fell asleep instantly, except for Chomper, who nestled himself on Devon’s back under Pterano’s hand. He then fell asleep.
Sure, Pterano felt a bit uncomfortable with the way that he was sitting against the wall, but why would it matter? He’s got these, one…two…three…eight little wonders nestled safely against him. They all just looked so adorable with their little smiles on their faces. Even Cera had the slightest hint of a smile on that threehorn face of hers. He tightened his arms around Petrie, Ducky and Devon, pulling them even closer to his chest. “This is more like it.” he told himself.
He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a small hand grip his, which caused him to look down. That small hand belonged to Petrie. He let a couple tears fall from his eyes as he felt his nephew’s hand grip even tighter. Pterano curled his hand protectively over Petrie’s, keeping it nice and warm. He gave his nephew a kiss on the head. “My sweet little Petrie…” Their hands gripped onto eachother tighter as Pterano felt himself getting sleepy. He laid his head on Devon’s and closed his eyes to fall asleep within minutes.
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"My sweet little Petrie." Aww... :angel
Any way, I'd like to thank the fallowing people for their support.
Pterano
Im little green glyder :J
Jrd89
vonboy
LBTDiclonius
Country-flyer
Serris
And if I forgot about you, let me know and I'll take care of it immediately.
*Sigh* I had fun writing this story...
:cry
However, there will be a series of oneshots coming up soon... :smile
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What an appropriate ending! How sweet!
Loved your story and it was quite a pleasure to be one of your steady reviewers. I'm happy to be of service for your supprot, one of the most important things you can have for writing something, be it a fanfiction or just writing a random thing of no real meaning.
Oo, one shots! Cant wait to see those up! I'll be looking forward to them! :yes
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IT's been a great read, trulyfantacticme! To tell you the truth, it was this fanfiction that helped me look at Pterano in a new light. I just made him my second favorite character recently, after I started to read this story!
I'm happy you'll be continuing this is some way, shape or form.
Do you have any ideas for a new fanfiction, or is it too soon to ask?
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Aww. What a happy ending. Pterano's fast asleep in his cave with all the children (Including nephew Petrie and son Devon) by his side. :)
That story was wonderful. I loved it, trulyfantasticme. That was a very warm, happy, and suspenseful flyer story.
You did wonderful! I loved "Lost In A Forest".
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Awwwww! Great ending! :DD I loved that! And thanks for the mention! It was my pleasure, though I only wish I'd joined sooner so I could've tracked this story from the start. But, at least I got to read it all the way through, sort of more like a book in that case. :)
Very good Pterano story. Devon was a good OC. ^^
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I’m going to take a crack at reviewing your chapters, miss. I hope to eventually cover them all. LBTDiclonius spoke very highly of this work to me on messenger, and with her highly respectable taste in literature, I felt that that warranted this story to receive my attention as well. I’m kind of slow at this, but I’ll review as often as I’m up to until I get to the end.
Prologue:
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A figure stood on the ledge of a high cliff, watching over the Great Valley as the Great Valley Council had a meeting next to Stone Arch* discussing on something about a banishment.
The second use of the word “on” looks to be unnecessary, so I’d remove that.
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He watched as a trio of flyers-one male carrying a little swimmer, one female and a giant flyer who looked like he could be male or female carrying a small longneck, spiketail and threehorn.
This doesn’t look like a complete sentence to me. The main part is, “He watched as a trio of flyers,” and then you have the segment that further explains the flyers. There is no finish for the thought here. To make it a complete sentence, for example, it would have to look something like, “He watched as a trio of flyers-one male carrying a little swimmer, one female and a giant flyer who looked like he could be male or female carrying a small longneck, spiketail and three horn- gathered around the meeting place.” There’s just no conclusion to the idea the way it’s written now. Furthermore, a list needs a comma after each item before the conjunction, so there should be one after the first “female.”
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Just out of curiosity, he fallowed the three flyers, landing behind the Stone Arch where nobody could see him
“Fallowed” is a word, but I assume you mean “followed” here.” Be sure to end a sentence with punctuation.
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"Frankly, Pterano your behavior have been inexcusable," an old male longneck spoke in a calm voice. "But in light of the fact that you helped save the children, your punishment will be reduced."
A direct address is when you call to someone. Examples are:
Josh, let’s go.
I don’t feel like it, mother, sorry.
We need to hurry, buddy!
The title in a direct address is always separated by the rest of the sentence with a comma or commas, depending on where it is. When in the middle, like your “Pterano,” it needs to have a comma on each side. When you have multiple adjectives describing a noun, there should be commas between them, like with your “old male.” However, that is not always the case. If the adjectives cannot be switched while keeping the same meaning, and adding an “and” between them ruins the meaning, a comma is not added. Because you can say male, old longneck or old and male longneck, there should be a comma between them.
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"Yes," a grumpy old threehorn growled. "And some of us think it should be a lot longer."
Like the above, add commas between the adjectives.
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"Oh please let him stay." he pleaded.
“Oh” is an interjection. This particular one needs a comma after it, and the quote should be succeeded by a comma, not a period, as it is followed by the method in which it was spoke.
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"That may be but that doesn't change what he did and he MUST be responsible."
When independent clauses are separated by a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, yet, so), they need commas between them. One is needed after “be” and “did.”
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Petrie stopped when he realized that the older flyer had something say.
I believe that that should be “had something to say.”
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"We all must be responsible for our actions," he keeled down, smiling understandingly.
That should have a period at the end of the quote and a capital letter after the quote because the part following the quotation is not describing the means it was spoken. Here are examples of when you use a comma (or exclamation point or question mark) at the end of a quote and don’t capitalize the means it was spoken (unless the means begins the sentence):
“I want to go home!” the child pleaded.
“We should let him go,” the elder began, “so untie his chains.”
The girl replied sullenly, “No! I won’t eat my broccoli.”
Examples of when you do NOT use a comma and DO capitalize the part following a quote:
“I want to go home!” The child would not waver from his feelings.
“We should let him go.” Then the elder sighed, as it was so hard to catch him in the first place. “So untie his chains.”
The girl was very sullen. “No! I won’t eat my broccoli.”
So make sure there is a connection between the quote and the part with it before not capitalizing the part and using a comma instead of a period. Furthermore, I think you meant “kneeled,” not “keeled.”
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Petrie sobbed, flying into the old flyers arms.
The flyer is being used possessively, so add an apostrophe.
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He watched as Pterano flew off in the distance.
I think “into” would fit better than “in.”
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"So you're the famous Pterano who had left my father to die." he whispered in a low Texan accent.
Remember to use a comma after the quote if it’s followed by the method in which it was spoken.
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"You will pay, Pterano...you will pay..."
The repeat is a sentence all of its own, so it should begin with a capital letter.
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That is my grammar review for the prologue. As for the story, being mostly copied, saying a whole lot would be complimenting the movie writers, not you, but I’ll say what I can for the part you added. It was interesting to add an element to the ending that the movie did not. Furthermore, you nicely kept it canon. Many people add things to the movies that contradict the film, but your addition fits in perfectly, realistically making readers believe that this was merely not noticed when it happened in the movie. Your ending added numerous aspects to what we thought we already knew. It contributed a sense of mystery, a bit of fear, a dab of foreshadowing, and a pinch of excitement. Even with such a small extra to what we saw in the movie, you’ve prepared a scrumptious entertainment sandwich, that after finishing, leaves readers wanting more. You can handle a story, and handle a story well, that’s for sure. I look forward to getting to the next chapters.
Side note: With the story finished, it is likely that my reviews will end up being several posts in a row. Posting after yourself is something not very appreciated in general, but I really have no choice since I came to this thread so late.
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Oh please do! And thanks for the corrections! :smile
Any way, just so you all know, if you wanna use my characters and/or ideas for one of your stories or rp's, you have all of my permission to do so! :wave Just pm me before you do. :smile
Come check out my Oneshots thread! http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...?showtopic=9598 (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9318)
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This fanfiction has been nominated by its author to be rated for the fanfiction awards 2011. To all the readers and fans of this fanfiction, please rate and review (http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=9467) it! :)
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I am truly sorry for the amount of time it took me to finish this, miss. I know that I told you about it weeks ago. It’s just that my reviews usually take hours for me to write, and with so much work to do, so many distractions, and my recent, mild surgical procedure, the process of reviewing right now is unfortunately a very slow one for me. Still, I will do my best to see to it that I fully review this fan fiction of yours. Here are my thoughts about chapter one:
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Five years passed since the banishment as the Bright Circle rose on a warm and sunny morning in the Mysterious Beyond, not a single cloud in the sky.
When writing a story that uses the word “sun,” you wouldn’t capitalize it, would you? It is not a proper noun. The bright circle is just dinosaur wording for that star. A general rule of thumb is, if you don’t capitalize a human name of something, neither do you capitalize it when called by its LBT terminology.
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But the strange thing is that every one in the Mysterious Beyond would wake up at the same time: just before sunrise.
There are times when “every one” is not meant to be a single word. “He killed every one of the soldiers.” But when used as a pronoun to describe a group of characters, it is one word.
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Shocked, frightened and having no idea what had hit him, the frog hopped out of there.
A list of three or more things has a comma after each item but the last, so there should be one after “frightened.”
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Pterano opened his dark blue eyes, "Morning already?" he mumbled to himself.
When two words work together before a noun to create a compound modifier, the words have a hyphen between them, so it should be “dark-blue.” Secondly, there is no relation to “Pterano opened his dark blue eyes,” and “’Morning already?" he mumbled to himself.” so they should be written as two different sentences, not combined with a comma.
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He yawned, stretching his body out before getting up on his feet and walked towards the opening of the cave.
A list of three or more things has a comma after each item but the last, so there should be one after “feet.”
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He smiled; almost there.
A semicolon separates two independent clauses, not two phrases that work together to form a single thought. If your attempt was to create a long pause between “smiled” and “almost,” then use a dash. “He smiled- almost there.”
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It was exactly two weeks from now that he would return to the Great Valley, to start over, to work things out with the Great Valley Council and his sister and most importantly, to see his nephews and nieces again.
A list of three or more things has a comma after each item but the last, so there should be one after “sister.”
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With that being said, Pterano flew off to the Big Water, searching for his breakfast, just like his normal routine.
What do you mean by “like his normal routine”? Does that mean that his normal routine is different, but going to the Big Water for fish is similar to it? If so, what does he normally do? If that IS his normal routine, and isn’t LIKE his normal routine, say “which was” instead of “just like.”
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He heard something splash behind him, which caused him to turn around.
There is no comma needed there. It may sound nicer when expressing the thought, extra suspense and all, but there is no rule to enforce its existence.
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A blue fish swimming towards him, totally unaware that it was about to become food.
That is not a sentence. “A blue fish swimming towards him,” is the subject and “totally unaware that it was about to become food.” is a parenthetical element, provided you add the verb after it. An example of it being a parenthetical element would be writing it as, “A blue fish swimming towards him, totally unaware that it was about to become food, quickly closed the gab and was grabbed.” However, this can more easily be fixed by just adding the word “was” before “swimming.”
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He landed on the beach, taking a seat against a boulder. He held his meal over him and opened his mouth wide...
Only to get sprayed in the face with ink.
Both of those work together to express one theme. They should be a single paragraph. Secondly, the second part is not a sentence. You clearly just want a pause between “wide” and “Only,” so to do it in a grammatically correct way. Use a dash and try:
He landed on the beach, taking a seat against a boulder. He held his meal over him and opened his mouth wide- only to get sprayed in the face with ink.
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"WHAT THE-!!!!" Pterano exclaimed, dropping his meal and spitting out the ink. He looked at his meal and saw that it was a squid.
I understand your feelings. You want this to be no ordinary exclamation, shouted with more emotion than one usually does in such a sentence. However, any English teacher will tell you, no matter how strong someone is exclaiming something, it is never proper to use more than one of the same punctuation mark. Don’t worry. The feeling won’t be lost by reducing it to one. Oh, and try to avoid more than one use of the same noun so close to each other if you have a choice. Instead of saying “meal” twice, my suggestions is:
“"WHAT THE-!" Pterano exclaimed, dropping his meal and spitting out the ink. He looked at the creature and saw that it was a squid.
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"I hate squids!!!" he whined, taking the squid and throwing it back into the ocean. No sooner than this, hysterical laughter came from the trees. Pterano sat up. "Who's there?" he scowled, trying to hide his fear.
Like above, just use one exclamation point. Also like above, try and avoid those double nouns. Instead of two “squids,” I would write that part as:
“"I hate these things!" he whined, taking the squid and throwing it back into the ocean.”
Not only does that example remove the double noun, but it also prevents a LBT character from calling an animal the same thing we humans do. Now, let’s look at, “No sooner than this.” What do you mean? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that expression before. Don’t you mean, “No sooner had he said this when”?
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A young flyer, black on the outside, night sky blue on the inside and no crest approached Pterano, still having that laughing fit.
“night sky blue” is a triple modifier. It is three words that form only one detail of the description, so there should be hyphens between them. Secondly, a list of three or more things needs a comma, so place one after “inside.” Thirdly, your list is a parenthetical element. In case my earlier example didn’t explain it, a parenthetical element is a section of a sentence that gives details of something that are not needed to understand the sentence, and therefore, when removed, you still have a complete sentence that makes perfect sense. So removing the list, we have, “A young flyer approached Pterano, still having that laughing fit.” This proves it to be such an element. The reason I am saying this is to explain why another comma is needed, as parenthetical elements in the middle of a sentence are always set apart by either commas, dashes, parenthesis, or brackets, depending on the strength of the element in the sentence. Because you chose to use the comma, it needs one at both ends. So it would look like:
“A young flyer, black on the outside, night-sky-blue on the inside, and no crest, approached Pterano, still having that laughing fit.”
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"Goodness Pterano, ya do the dumbest things, dontcha old flyer?" he told him with a Texan accent.
“Goodness” is either used as a noun or interjection. Your usage here is the latter, and all interjections need to be separated by a comma or exclamation point, so put one after that word. Secondly, when calling someone by his or her name or some other title in a quote, it is called a direct address. Direct addresses need to be set apart by a comma or commas, depending on where they are placed. Both “Pterano” and “old flyer” are direct addresses.
Jeremy, get out of there!
I want you to know that I love you, Mary.
Please know, Hannah, that your writing is great.
In conclusion, “"Goodness, Pterano, ya do the dumbest things, dontcha, old flyer?" he told him with a Texan accent.
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"I do not!" Pterano defended, crossing his arms on his chest.
Pterano is a flyer. Wouldn’t it be better to say “wings” instead of “arms”?
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"Come on, that's the second squid incident you've had so far. And must we not forget that stingray accident when ya first came here."
Eh, it might be somewhat out of place to have animals called by their human names when every one we’ve seen so far has a more literal name in the LBT world. Here is just a suggestion on what you could write instead that will tell people what you mean without altering the typical terminology. Oh, but before I do that, your second sentence is clearly not meant to be an interrogative sentence, but your first three words are written in question format. Watch: “And must we”. You see? That is what someone says when he or she is asking someone something. It can be fixed by simply switching a couple words around. So in the end, my suggestion is:
“"Come on, that's the second incident you've had with one of those so far. And we must not forget that sting swimmer accident when ya first came here."
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"I hate those to!"
You clearly mean “also,” so add an extra o to that.
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"Well old friend, are you gonna gimme a hug or am I gonna have to leave?"
“Well” has many forms. It can be an adjective, adverb, interjection, and more. This form of it is an interjection, so it needs to be set apart with a comma, as I don’t think you want an exclamation point there. Secondly, when a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, yet, so) separates two independent clauses (a thought that can act as an entire sentence) there needs to be a comma before the conjunction. “are you gonna gimme a hug” is independent, and so is, “am I gonna have to leave”.
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Pterano chuckled, uncrossing his arms and opening them. "Come here, you!"
"Now that's what I'd like to hear!" With that, the young flyer threw his arms around Pterano's neck, hugging him tightly.
That doesn’t make sense. Someone says something, so you have someone reply in a future tense about wanting to hear what he just heard? “I’d” is a contraction for “I would.” “Would” is pointing to the future, not the present, and not the past. Eh, maybe I’m not explaining this well. Let me try an example.
There was a family of four: the parents, a son, and a daughter. They were having a very boring summer, so the father decided to fly everyone out to Florida to spend time at Disney World. When they finally arrived at the beloved amusement part, the son said, “Dad, I would like to go to Disney World.”
Do you see how that doesn’t make sense? A past tense of your excerpt, while also changing “arms” to “wings” would be:
Pterano chuckled, uncrossing his wings and opening them. "Come here, you!"
"Now that's what I wanted to hear!" With that, the young flyer threw his wings around Pterano's neck, hugging him tightly.
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They sat next to eachother as Devon handed him a treestar.
“Eachother” is two words, not one.
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"Oh the same old, just without someone to talk to." the older flyer ruffled Devon's head.
“Oh” is an interjection, so it needs a comma, as I don’t think you want an exclamation point here. Secondly, you took one aspect of dialogue working with narration, and you took one aspect of dialogue not working with narration. When they do work together, the quote, if it was going to end with a period, ends with a comma, and the following narration would not be capitalized unless the first one always is. The aspect of this that you used is not capitalizing the narration. However, when they don’t work together, a quote that would have ended with a period keeps the period, and the following narration is capitalized. The aspect of this that you used is keeping the period. You can’t do both, because the parts either work together, or they don’t. So either capitalize the word “the” at the start of the narration, or make them work together by changing the first period to a comma. But beware. In order for them to work together, you need to also add a method in which the quote was spoken or at least some detail relating to the quote. So if you do have them work together, a complete example would look like:
“"Oh, the same old, just without someone to talk to," the older flyer replied as he ruffled Devon's head.”
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"It's been a while hasn't it?"
When a sentence is partially a question, you separate the question part with a comma. Examples include:
“The day is lovely, is it not?”
“I want to be with you, okay?”
“I don’t care about your past! Accept my love, as it’s all yours, pretty please?”
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"Anyways, I gotta get goin."
When you leave out a letter for any reason, such as to suit a unique speaking style, you need an apostrophe to show where the letter was removed. It should look like goin’.
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Come to think of it, Pterano was a kind of like a father figure to him.
Too many words. You can adjust it two ways to my knowledge:
Come to think of it, Pterano was kind of like a father figure to him.
Come to think of it, Pterano was a kind of father figure to him.
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"You bet." he replied, stroking his cheek with his claw.
Because the narration is explaining the method of the quote, the period at the end of the quote should be a comma.
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Devon spreaded his wings and headed for the forest.
“Spreaded” is not a word. Say, “spread.”
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They sat next to eachother as Devon handed him a treestar.
That is a sentence from early on in the story. I didn’t have a problem with the food part at the time. Because of the sentence I just saw:
“He landed next to a tree, taking off a tree star and stuffing it into his mouth.” now I do.
Because that leaf is LBT terminology, I don’t really know if it’s supposed to be one word or two. So take your pick, I guess. However, be consistent. Don’t say “treestar” then later say “tree star.”
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"S' about time..."
An apostrophe is placed where the letter or letters are omitted. I assume the full word here is “It’s,” and if I am right, the apostrophe needs to go before the S.
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"Snap out of it, will ya? Pterano's not our friend, he's our enemy!"
“Pterano’s not our friend” and “he’s our enemy” are two independent clauses. I understand that the quote, spoke in such context, is said so quickly that a comma seems to fit best in regards to the timing. Still, independent clauses are never combined with nothing but a comma. Try:
“Pterano's not our friend! He's our enemy!”
Or:
“Pterano's not our friend. He's our enemy!”
Or:
“Pterano's not our friend; he's our enemy!”
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"Oh that..."
I understand how close the two words are when spoke like that. A pause just doesn’t seem needed. Still, the grammar rule is that all interjections need a comma or exclamation point following them, and based off of the quiet tone I assume this is spoken in, I’d use a comma.
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"Those brats should be here in a few days" Sierra reminded. "and then you're to lead them to a pack of Sharptooth."
When narration comes between two quotes that are linked together, you end the narration part with a comma, not a period. Secondly, when a quote is separated by narration, there needs to be punctuation at the end of the quote. Thirdly, a pack is plural, so say “Sharpteeth,” not “Sharptooth.” So it would look like:
“ëThose brats should be here in a few days," Sierra reminded, "and then you're to lead them to a pack of Sharpteeth.’"
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He picked up a pointy rock and grasped it. "and I will take care of that Pterano."
That quote has no relation to the narration before it, so it should be capitalized. So weëd have:
“He picked up a pointy rock and grasped it. "And I will take care of that Pterano.’”
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"We do this, and my revenge will be complete and you will have your freedom."
Each part that is separated by an “and” is an independent clause, so each “and” needs a comma before it.
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"Just tell me where that Pterano lives and I'll deal with him tomorrow."
When a coordinating conjunction separates two independent clauses, it needs a comma before it.
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Even the Night Circle didn't look that much different either.
Two things: Just like “bright circle” is not capitalized, neither is “night circle,” because you wouldn’t capitalize “moon,” would you? Secondly, it’s a bit wordy. Using “even” the way you did and “either” the way you did both indicate that there is another factor involved in the claim. You don’t need both.
Even the night circle didn't look that much different.
Or:
The night circle didn't look that much different either.
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Pterano snapped out of his thoughts when he spotted something in the corner of his eye: a blue flying rock, similar to the so called "Stone of Cold Fire" he and his henchmen had gone after five years earlier
When two adjectives are next to each other (blue flying) and they can be switched around without making the meaning awkward, there needs to be a comma between them.
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The opening scene was very successful at instilling a positive feeling in the readers. We could really feel that good was going to be coming. This was handled by portraying very pleasant weather followed by a blunt round of humor. Though the plot was not revealed yet, we could smile about it already.
You created a subtle explanation of how he was living on his own. Flash backs are nice, but being able to integrate the past into the present of the story is a really pleasant feat. Accomplished by mentioning a routine, we could look at what has been while looking at the here and now. Very interesting way of teaching us what’s been happening.
With an increase of humor, caused by the squid incident, the smile we had earlier has been changed into a full-on laugh. The story continues to increase the cozy feeling of what’s going on. The mood of the story is as bright as the bright circle. This kind of technique is very useful for either setting the stage for a time of peace, or setting us up to be surprised when things suddenly take a turn for the worse.
Next, we cut to mystery. Before this, you were gradually increasing our mood for the story, then when you implemented something we can’t fully understand yet, you began to next increase our interest in the plot more. At this point, all we can do is wonder about this new, young flyer Pterano is associating with, but leaving us with only that one option, you’ve allowed a window of opportunity to truly surprise us with who he really is.
This new character you created, Devon, was created in a very popular fashion. Some characters are shown at first as very unlikable, and the readers slowly start to feel for him or her. Some characters make readers really wonder what’s going on, so there’s this really confused feeling on how readers will take this character. And the list of styles to introduce a character goes on and on. Here, you used the technique of making this new character instantly likable to readers. He has a good sense of humor, is kind, and really cares. When a character makes a reader want to hug him the very first time he shows up, readers are either in for a very pleasant experience as they watch this character continue, or the character has some dark secret he’s hiding that when revealed, will shock us to the core.
Devon already captured our hearts, so to see him attacked, and by his own father, no less, depending on the personality of the reader, there will be either sadness or anger. Eh, maybe both. The shining plotline has suddenly lost its cheery feel as it took a very dreary turn. It’s like walking through a grassy meadow with the prettiest of flowers, then suddenly, clouds roll in, and we are covered in darkness. Our love of Devon has suddenly become questionable. We can’t be certain at this point if he’s really a bad character, but we can see that he is involved in something unpleasant, whether he is happy about it or not.
Now fear has gripped our hearts for two reasons. One, we fear that Devon may not be as pure as he seems, and two, Pterano is clearly in grave danger. This isn’t like a lot of cliffhangers. Many of them have only two outcomes. For example, dangling from a cliff, the character in question will either fall, or he or she won’t. Right now, there are several possibilities, and we have no clue where things are heading next, but we can know that things are going to be progressing downhill. The ending was brilliant, because it had two meanings, one literal, and one figurative. The storm, on one hand, meant bad weather was approaching the area. On the other hand, a storm of unfortunate events is clearly coming up as well.
We have so much to wonder about right now. What will happen to Pterano? What is really going on with Devon? What will happen when his banishment comes to an end? I call this the triforce of curiosity. All the props on the stage are in place. Soon, the time will come for these events to be set into motion…
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This truly was an awesome story and I hope that you will continue to make other stories just as wonderful as this one.
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I must say that was an amazing review Friendly Sharptooth :blink:
You always have a lot to say when you post. :DD
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I must say that was an amazing review Friendly Sharptooth
You always have a lot to say when you post.
Thank you kindly for the compliment. I really do appreciate it; that made my day.
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What da fudge! It was JUST now that I discovered those last two comments. :blink: :lol
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Two Words...
AWESOME and EPIC
Gee, you sure lead exciting fanfics. I must say I'm impressed, especially the part where Pterano led the shaptooth into the cave, and then the gang thought that he's dead.
I also loved the part where Pterano flew faster and thus, ending up bumping into a tree :lol :lol :lol
And the Pterano Devon moment, it's just DAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!!! I love that, oh yes yes yes :yes
As for my last words for this review, well it won't be about grammars :lol I'm just gonna say that, keep on writing and enjoy doing it, you won't regret it. :p Plus you have that LBT stamp about one of your fanfics in your signature :DD
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short bits of chapter, but very intriguing.
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I read a the beginning and I enjoyed what I read so far. Nice work.
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Almost Over
Five years have passed since the banishment. The Bright Circle rose in the sapphire blue sky on a warm, Spring morning out in the Mysterious Beyond, not a single cloud in the sky. Far walkers slept in the dripping forests, curled up in fetal position. A longneck lifted his head up, letting out a heavy yawn. He waited for the sun to be fully risen before he would wake his herd so he could move on in their journey. Sharpteeth, about miles away from the herd, awakened as well, the patriarch waking his family for a morning hunt.
The sun rose higher and higher into the perfect blue sky, reaching the mountains like a giant ocean wave of sunshine, consuming the world into daylight once again. Rays of light reflected off the mighty mountains that separated the legendary Great Valley and the open Mysterious Beyond. The longneck let out a loud roar, signalling the herd that it was time to wake up and move on. The sharpteeth had begun their hunt, searching for a good meal to consume. Every creature is awake here in the Mysterious Beyond.
All...except for one flyer.
A frog leapt next to a giant red foot, letting out a small croak afterward. As if it were some sort of alarm for the flyer beside the amphibian, the frog recieved a kick in the head. Shocked, frightened, and having no idea what had hit the poor little guy, the frog hopped out of there, never to be seen again.
Pterano opened his dark blue eyes, letting out a deep yawn as well. "Morning already?" he mumbled to himself, stretching his orangish red body out before getting up to his feet. He strolled towards the cavern enterance. "Two more weeks, Petrie...two more weeks." he whispered softly to the wind as if he was talking to his nephew. Ah yes, two more weeks indeed. Then his banishment would end and he would return to the Great Valley. He would work things out with the Great Valley Council and start a new life. All five years of being away from home nearly drove him insane. He longed to be back in the Great Valley. He longed to see his family again, his sister, his nephews and nieces. But most importantly, he longed to see Petrie again. He longed to see that lively face Petrie had when he saw him. His dark eyes were so full of life, and his voice, although annoyingly squeaky, sounded like music to his ears. He missed him, very much actually. A tear almost escaped his eye, but he wiped it away, and focused his mind on something else.
Breakfast. Grrr! There goes his stomach already. Well that was easy. One minute he had his mind on his family, and breakfast the next. Perhaps it was one of those times where hunger is a good thing. With that being thought of, he took off to the skies, allowing the wind pass under his wings. He was in for a big surprise.
Splash! Pterano's sensitive hearing could pick up a tiny burst of water. It caught his attention as he flew to check out the scenario. A fish. A fish hopefully big enough to satisfy him for the morning. The fish swam closer towards the red flyer, totally unaware that it was about to become food. Pterano flew to a lower altitude, waiting for the right moment to strike.
When the fish was beneath him, he took a dive for it. He burried his beak into the water, snapping it on the fish before it could flee for it and returned to altitude. He consumed the fish, taking in the raw flavor, which was a delight to the flyers. He swallowed, letting out a heavy sigh. He wanted more.
Splash! He turned, and spotted something bigger and better than a fish. He could hear his stomach grumble at the sight. He didn't know exactly what it was, but it sure looked tasty. So, with a satisfactory smile, he took a dive for it.
With his catch in his hind claws, he flew to the beach. He landed on the hot sands, and leaned against a boulder. He took a sigh and gazed up at the rich blue sky. It was like summer, and he could just jump into the Big Water and swim as much as he possibly could and let his body get soaked by the nostalgic moisturizing sensation of the ocean. That actually sounded very tempting right now. But first, he had to finish his meal. He widely opened his beak to consume his meal.
Only to get squirted in the face by a sticky, jet-black substance.
"WHAT THE-!!!" Pterano exclaimed, spitting out the substance. He looked at his meal, and he it didn't take long for him to figure out what this sticky, jet-black substance is supposed to be. Ink. And what animal does ink come from? Squids! Yes that's right! Pterano caught a squid! "I hate squids!" he boomed, angrily throwing the squid back into the ocean. He was interrupted by hysterical laughter.
"Gross! Yer beak was open!"
Pterano got into a fighting stance, taking action as he prepared himself for what may fly at him next. "Who's there?!" he scowled, gritting his teeth to show that he wasn't afraid to use them. The voice sounded oddly familiar, like he knew that voice. It could have been an old friend or something, but then again, it's the Mysterious Beyond. You'd always have to be cautious of your surroundings, he learned that the hard way. The hysterical laughter continued, and Pterano unsheathed his claws. "Show yourself! Or I'll-" Shock cut him off that time.
A young flyer, looking the age of twenty or twenty one revealed himself as he stepped up to the older flyer. His laughter continued, as he held his stomach in hysteria. He was a cearadactylus, jet black covered his back and the ousides of his wings, as well as his head. But a night sky shade of blue covered his body and the insides of his wings while a grape-ish purple covered his neck ring. "Ohh Pterano, ya do the dumbest things, duncha old flyer?" he asked in a Southwestern accent.
"I do not!" he defended, crossing his arms across his chest, but also letting out a small smile as well.
"Aww come on! That's the second squid accident ya had so far! Not to mention that sting ray accident that happened a few years ago, hmm?" The young flyer said, nudging the old flyer gently.
"I hate those two!"
"Pterano, ya hate everything that makes a fool outta ya! Squids, sting rays, trees..." the blue flyer laughed at the thought. Pterano scoffed in response. "Well old flyer, are you gunna gimme a hug or am I gunna have to leave?" the blue flyer spreaded his wings, turning around in the process.
"Okay, okay! Come here, you!" Pterano chuckled, opening his wings.
"Now THAT'S what I'd like to hear!" the blue flyer exclaimed, throwing his black arms around Pterano's neck, hugging him tightly. Pterano returned the favor, wrapping his strong arms around his friend.
"How's it going, Devon?" the red flyer asked curiously.
"Ah same as usual, I haven't changed a bit." Devon chuckled at that. "I just had no one to talk to." he smiled at Pterano as he said that and the red flyer ruffled his head in response. "How have you been?" Devon asked.
"Neutral, like always. As you see," he pointed at the ink that still smothered his face. "I haven't changed a bit either. But anyways, look how you've grown!" Pterano pointed out. "Goodness, you've grown taller! Now turn around, let me look at ya!"
Devon turned his back to Pterano, standing up in pride. "Wow, it only seems like yesterday you were a young teenager dealing with his dad. And now, you're a full grown flyer." Pterano commented, taking the boy's hand. "So tell me, you got any girlfriends yet?" he winked at him when he said that.
"No, not yet." Devon chuckled, winking back. "So how about you? Have you found a mate?"
"No, not really. I don't really know that much flyers out here except for you." Pterano replied, with a solemn look on his face. Come on, start a new subject! he thought to himself. "So, it's been a while hasn't it?"
"Yeah...at least two years. Although it feels like three. I really missed you." Devon said, nuzzling the old flyer gently.
"I missed you too, son." He returned the favor, enjoying the brush of Devon's skin against his. They stayed that way for a rather long time, enjoying eachother's presense. They fell into a silence as though they had fallen asleep. After about ten or fifteen long minutes, Devon noticed that there seemed to be an eerie hint of despair that came from the red flyer next to him. "Pterano?"
"Yeah?"
"You miss yer family, don't ya?"
"Yeah, I've been missing them a lot lately. It has been five years since I last saw them, you know."
"At least yer banishment is almost over, I mean, it is the fifth year, right?"
"Yeah." Pterano replied, looking at Devon now.
"Then why don't we just go visit them now? I'm sure they'll be very happy to see ya!" Devon exclaimed, intending to at least put a smile to Pterano's face.
Pterano gave him a small grin, but then frowned. "That's the problem. I can't be there for another two weeks!"
"Oh...well...it could be worse. I mean, at least you weren't banished forever, right?"
"You sure are right about that one." Pterano said, getting up now, wiping the ink off his face with a treestar.
Devon turned his gaze to the forest, and then back to Pterano, sighing. As much as he would like to stay, he had...a rather important meeting to attend to. An important meeting that he really wanted to miss. It broke his heart to say this next thing. "Anyways...I gotta get goin..." he said that rather reluctantly, and Pterano almost sensed that something was wrong, but he shrugged it off.
"Same here, I've got to get back to my cave and think." he replied, and Devon nodded in response. A silence fell between the two again, but Pterano decided to break it. He placed a fatherly hand on the the young flyer's shoulder. "Devon?"
"Yes...Pterano?" Devon responded, looking up at the red flyer now.
"During this...exile," he spoke softly. "I don't know what on earth I would do without you."
"Ya'd probably get squirted in the face at every meal." Devon teased, sending a smirk to his friend.
Pterano cuckled, showing a proud fatherly smile towards the younger flyer. "You," he rubbed his shoulder lightly. "You and that sense of humor that keeps me going." He pulled the boy into a tight, loving hug. "Thanks for being there for me, son."
Thanks for being there for me, son. Those words echoed in Devon's head like a ghost from the past. He opened his eyes wide and then closed him, wrapping his arms around the red flyer. Come to think of it, Pterano is kind of like a father figure to him. He felt his friend's hands rub up and down his back and then tighten around him, pulling him closer. Aw man! Why did Pterano have to make things so hard? "I love you," Pterano whispered, placing a kiss to the cheek.
That did it. That totally did it. Pterano, you have no idea how much those words of yers mean to me, he thought to himself. A tear escaped his eye as he held on to the old flyer, clutching to him tightly like he never wanted to let go. Pterano loosened his hold on Devon for a second, only for the blue flyer to tighten his hold. The red flyer chuckled, and he pulled the boy closer. He choked out a sob, trying to hold in his tears. He couldn't let Pterano see him cry...not now. A few more tears fell down his hot cheeks as a gentle breeze went through their wings.
Devon quickly wiped away his tears before they broke the hug, smiling fondly at eachother. "See ya around?" Devon offered. Oh he'll see him around alright.
Pterano placed a gentle claw on Devon's hot cheek, smiling softly at him. "Of course." he replied, stroking his cheek. He allowed his hand to slip from his cheek and turned around to spread his wings.
"Don't you go bumpin into trees on the way, Pterano." Devon teased, smirking.
Pterano laughed heartily at his comment. "Of course, Devon...of course." With that, he took off into the skies, once again, allowing the air currents to flow under his wings.
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*climbs up the last steps of the Jade Palace* I'M COMIN! *pant* Ahh! Made it! *pant* Woo! :lol
So yeah peeps, one year ago today, I started the masterpiece known as Lost in a Forest and I'd just thought I'd rewrite a little scene in honor of Lost in a Forest. YAY ME!! :lol
Now...YOU'D BETTER LEAVE FEEDBACK OR I WILL DRAW YOU IN PRETTY PINK DRESSES!!! :lol As for the girls, I'll dress them like...wait for it...
HANNAH MONTANA!!!
If you like Hannah Montana, well, I'll just dress you in EASTER BUNNY COSTUMES!!! DUN DUN DUUUUNNN!!! :lol :lol :lol
So with that being said...
Enjoy. :DD