The Gang of Five
The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: Mama's Girl on May 26, 2011, 11:46:03 PM
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(Alright, like with the role play, to give my character concept, Harper, one of Petrie's sisters, any kind of adventure it has to be forced so for my first try at a story I was going to do...something else, but this idea is all I could find to run with, so I think I can pull it off :D)
I: Wrong Side of the Nest
For about the a millionth time, Petrie banged his head against the wall of his cave home.
"Petrie!" a young girl's voice exclaimed in surprised, one of his sisters, Harper, coming over and helping walk him away from the wall. "That can't be helping your sniffles" Harper went on.
She'd forgotten how antsy Petrie could be, her brother often being off on an adventure with his friends while she either played tag or something with the others or just amused herself around the nest helping her mom out.
"Here" Harper went on, helping Petrie, who didn't see to care about much at the moment, to sit against the other wall of the cave.
Here he finally let lose his frustrations and groaned, "Why me can't lay in nest again, it comfy".
"It's not fixed" Harper replied, and as her brother just stared at her, she sighed and explained more, "Mom was complaining our nest looks...shambly or something, so I'm going to fix it".
After saying this she walked over and pulled out one of the twigs of the nest that she felt stuck out a bit too much. Petrie watched her, just staring at the comfy spot in the middle of the nest where he wanted to be laying and not the floor.
He started crawling over, his sniffles making him not have much energy at all. He slowly started crawling over the side of the nest to get inside.
"Petrie no!" Harper rushed over and, plucking her brother up, set him to the side on the floor again, though to Petrie it felt like he was thrown.
Harper sighed as she looked at the branches Petrie had bent out of shape, "You ruined it!' she went back to straightening them up as Petrie sighed and rested his head back, staring out at the upside down landscape outside the cave. He wished his mama would hurry up and get back to the nest and save him from his psycho, in a nest fixing fit, sister.
His mother would let him lay in comfy nest, being sick and all! Petrie thought to himself with a slight frown.
For her part, Harper didn't mean to be hard to deal with, and hadn't meant to literally throw her brother out of the nest, she was just distracted with the thought of making it perfect for her mom.
Once she was done she smiled and her focus dropped from that so she could take in the rest of her surroundings. First thing she noticed was Petrie laying sprawled out on the floor.
Smiling she helped him sit up, "You should be in the nest not the floor if you're sick, Petrie" she told him helping him over to it. She got the oddest look from her brother as she said this...
Choosing to not point out that he'd only been on the floor because she'd thrown him there, Petrie instead went to the next thing he could think of. "You seen me snuggling stick?".
"Oh, yeah sure" Harper glanced about for it, frowning when she couldn't locate the stick her brother always used for comfort. "Well it was right..." Harper paused and her beak dropped. She stared at the nest.
"What?" Petrie asked.
"You're gonna hate me..." Harper began, "but...I think I put it in the nest...".
"What!" Petrie began to pry at bits of the nest to look, Harper immediately flying over to stop him, "No! Petrie, I just fixed that!". She struggled to push Petrie's hands away from tearing at the nest while he tried to push them back to looking for his snuggling stick again.
"you lost me snuggling stick!".
"I did not, you're probably sitting or laying on it, so...well...same difference".
"Not it not!".
(ooc: going with the name I've seen others use for Petrie's mom)
As Tory returned to her nest, she smiled with the thought that today atleast there shouldn't be any drama or problems like one got with a whole brood of flyer hatchlings most times. She'd only left two of her children alone at the nest so things there should be quiet except for Petrie having the sniffles.
"Ok kids I'm ba-" Tory paused at the scene in front of her.
"Petrie stop it!"
"Me stick!".
Tory sighed and brought a wing up to her head, "Ok..." she walked over, "what's going on?".
Two young voices answered at the same time, "Harper throw me on floor and put snuggling stick in nest!" Petrie's stuffed up voice said.
"Petrie's ruining all the work I did on the nest, and I did not!" she answered what she heard her brother say.
"Yes you do!".
"Ok" Tory interrupted the kids, "one at a time, now then Petrie, you're sick so go on and tell me first".
"That's not fair!" Harper immediately pointed out, crossing her wings.
"Harper" the slight almost in trouble tone in her mother's voice caused the girl to hush up.
"Well me gots snifflies but Harper wouldn't let me be in nest because she says she has to "clean it up", so she threw me on floor" Petrie said, "and then she put me snuggling stick in nest!".
"It was an accident!" Harper protested, "both of them!".
"Alright kids..." Tory started to try to interrupt. Petrie as frowning in that half mad way of his whenever his siblings had rubbed him wrong.
"Me gonna go find Guido!" he pushed past his sister and walked towards the cave exit. Harper had since learned that finding or being around Guido was like a sign of her brother being mad at them. Thing was most times he got mad at them it was for something that was his fault! Like this!
"Well maybe I'll go..." Harper broke off, she didn't have any close friends she could always find like Petrie's, "...find someone better than you!" she ended with, feeling it fell flat.
"That is enough!" Tory stopped Petrie's walking towards the exit of the cave, picking him up. "Petrie, you are not going anywhere sick, now I'm sure Harper didn't mean any of it and we can gently search for your stick in the nest, ok?" she asked both kids as she set Petrie down nest to Harper.
Brother and sister glanced to each other then away from each other annoyed, "Fine".
It was cooperation enough for the moment, "Great" Tory started the delicate task of searching the nest. By her expert knowledge of how she'd built this nest and all it didn't take all that long and she could even do it with minimal damage.
"There" she handed Petrie his stick, "now everything's fixed" she smiled.
Petrie hugged his stick "Hey..it got bent" he frowned, not really making a comment against his sister, really, but Harper still looked pretty insulted.
"Well I'm not nest put with snifflies so I'll see you later!" and before her mother could stop her she flew off away from the cave to maybe find her other siblings who were not so annoying or...something. Tory sighed, somehow it seemed like it was always something.
(Well, first chappie that just sets up and doesn't exactly give away the point of the story...yet, but this little sibling spat is useful later as you'll see ;))
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Poor Petrie... and well, poor Harper for not having much luck. XD I liked the end bit, how Petrie didn't directly comment about something she'd done, but it still felt insulting all the same. I'll see where this story goes, as it does seem like you're going to take it somewhere. :) It's alright if the first chapter doesn't have major revelations. It had enough of a hook though I'd say to keep me reading. :)
Though I think Petrie would be more likely to say "You lose my snuggling stick!" rather than losted, although he DOES make up words as well. XD He generally uses "Me" to indicate "I" when he speaks, and usually will just say "my" if something belongs to him. Petrie is interesting though, because his speech is not always consistent. In the Stone of Cold Fire for example, in the very beginning, he uses "I" when he says "Oh, I say, gee, that sure be the worst!" when Cera asked him to repeat himself. I think that's one of the few instances of him using "I" though, as he always says "me" in place of it. :p
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Nice little opening, showing the antics between Petrie and one of his sisters. I'm waiting for some action though :DD
Update it soon!
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(Thanks for the reviews so far :) Well someone asked for action ;) and here...well it's not full action, but we're getting there)
II: Don't Understand
Harper hadn't had much luck in finding anyone to complain to about the incident with Petrie, at least not anyone in her age bracket anyway. So somehow the kid found herself telling Tria all about it just to tell someone. Of course, Tria's first statement in finding out who she was hadn't helped Harper out. "Oh yes, one of Cera's little flyer friend, Petrie's sisters, right?".
"Yes, and Cera's little flyer friend Petrie does nothing but cause trouble!" she crossed her wings.
Tria smiled, "Ah one of those little daily sibling arguments, yes I'm learning about those while Topsy's oldest is with us and we're watching sweet little Dinah and Dana, oh but those two can argue" she shook her head.
Harper sighed, trying to remember to be polite while she was so upset and Miss Tria's talking about her own problems was kind of more annoying.
Tria laughed, "Well, just remember, boys take extra understanding from us girls at times" she winked and even gave the little hatchling a friendly nudge with her nose, chucking at her own joke that Harper didn't catch. "And, speaking of those two little imps I should go make sure they're staying out of trouble". Harper nodded as the adult threehorn walked off.
Left alone again, the hatchling just sighed again, staring off at the dinosaurs roaming about the Great Valley as she pondered. "I was just trying to help" she muttered to herself, "and I didn't mean to put his stupid snuggling stick in the nest" she sighed.
A slight rustling drew Harper's attention and she glanced over to see a bush that was shaking. The little flyer watched it until the shaking stopped enough for the head of a runner poked out, looking sort of like that hidden runner was suppose to, only a plainer brown and not so "mysterious". It was followed by another.
Harper tilted her head, looking at the two in curiosity as they seemed to notice her and instantly grin, before calming the look into a more normal one. "A flyer!" the one on left had whispered, before his companion jabbed him in the ribs to shut him up. He smiled as they both walked out.
"Um, well hey there little Miss" the runner nodded to her, something that surprised Harper.
"Um...hi" she said.
"My friend and I seem to be sort of lost, um would this be the Great Valley?" the first runner asked. Harper nodded. "Oh, good" the runner went on, "and would you happen to know where the sinking sands would be?".
His friend looked puzzled, "Why do we wanna know where the sinking sands are?" he asked. Giving an annoyed frown, the first runner turned to him, "If you'll wait I'll tell you when we get there!" he replied tightly.
Harper frowned, "W-why do you want to go to the sinking sands?" she asked.
The runners looked at eachother, "Um...reasearch" the first said, "you see, we're...well, sort of Finders Outers, as we call it ourselves" he chuckled a bit, "we figure out things no one else has thought to ask".
"Why?" Harper asked.
"Well to know the answers of course" the runner said.
"No" Harper shook her head, realizing these two had misunderstood he question, "Why did no one else ask...um, the things you find out?".
"Oh, don't know" the runner said, "that can be another question for the list" he smiled to her, "you know you're quite sharp, maybe you should think about joining up on the team there, helping us out?".
"No..." Harper glanced to the bright circle, "I think I should really be home by now" she stood to flap off
"Oh wait!" the first runner said, "you see, I was sort of hoping you could show us the sinking sands, since we're new and don't know the way and all" he smiled.
"Me?" Harper asked. It was an odd request.
"Yeah, since you can fly and all and...it would be easier" the second runner said and then smiled like he'd come up with something genius.
Harper thought a bit longer, "Well...all of us kids are sort of not suppose to go there alone..." she began.
The first runner laughed, "But you wouldn't be alone, you'd be with full fledged adults" he said, indicating him and his friend. Harper glanced between them.
"I...I don't think I...no thanks" she stood and as she looked like she might fly off, both runner's looked worried.
The second one suddenly sighed, "Oh well, Plan B" he said. Faster than Harper could take stock of, he whipped out a net of vines and swooped it over her, instantly trapping her.
"H-hey! What!" Harper twisted and wiggled, but couldn't get out, she just glanced between her two now captors.
"Get her to the others" the first whispered, "I'll make sure we're still in the clear and no one saw". With a nod the second runner, holding Harper's net, darted off back into the bushes and off across the landscape of the Valley with her. Harper wasn't liking the sound of any of this. Who were these "others" and where was she going?
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As Tria walked back over to her and her family's sleeping space, she frowned at the rather odd sight before her. The oldest of her step daughters, Dinah and Dana's mother, as described to Harper, now stood before Topsy looking upset and Cera stood beside her looking shocked. Both expressions Tria instantly didn't like.
"W-what's going on?" she walked up.
"It's the twins..." Dinah and Dana's mother said, the young adult threehorn looking beside herself, "They...they're gone!".
"Are you sure they're not just playing off some-" Topsy began, walking up to his oldest daughter again.
"Do you think I didn't check!" she snapped back at her father before frowning in worry again.
Topsy was silent, thinking over how resourceful he'd always taught all his kids to be, no, if the twins were lost it wasn't for lack of checking. "We'll call a meeting, have every inch of the Valley searched for either the twins or any indication of where they might have gone".
Most of his family followed as Old Threehorn walked over to inform the Longnecks and others. Cera stood there a bit and then darted over to find Littlefoot and the others, knowing that the five of them could get more progress going on this than their parents.
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Ahhh yes, I figured there was something suspicious with those runners, and it seems they're out kidnapping young ones. I take it since Harper is your main character, she'll be rising to the occasion in this story. :)
Makes me wonder exactly what this plot is that those runners have going on now.
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Yeah, I'm interested in what these fast runners are up to as well. Why do they want to know where the sinking sands are?
This wasn't a whole lot of action, but it had mystery in it, which can be just as good. :DD
Keep it up ;)
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(I'm just in a writing mood here :) Oh, yeah just hang on, the plot's...well it's something :) and I won't say much more to give away anything but the sinking sands was just a ploy to get Harper away from adult supervision, no they don't need sinking sands, thankfully for the kids :/
Oh and Pterano I did catch what you said on Petrie's speech in the first chapter and yeah I know I re-read and need to major edit some parts since I found full contractions in some of Petrie's speech! I'll get to it but here's the next chapter I have ready and I'm afraid your questions might have to wait until the next chapter to be answered a bit ;))
III: Can't Be
"Guys, we got a problem!" Cera exclaimed as she burst over to where Littlefoot, Ducky and Spike were huddled about a rock where Petrie sat next to Guido, obviously having snuck out for a complaining session to his glider friend who was known to help with his sibling issues, as well as his other friends.
"Well Petrie, I'm sure..." Guido was cut off as everyone noticed Cera burst into the clearing. Littlefoot immediately noticed his friend's agitated state. "What is it Cera?" he asked, walking up.
"It's Dinah and Dana" Cera sighed, "They're gone again, only this time I wasn't watching them so I don't have any idea where they could be, but my sister seems pretty sure they didn't just wander off".
"The grown-ups are already having a meeting" she went on as Ducky, Spike, Petrie and Guido walked up, "but I figured...well we know what it's like waiting on them!" the young threehorn sighed.
Littlefoot remained quiet for a bit after hearing all this, just thinking as the others frowned in worry. "Oh, I do not like to think of those poor little kids lost, I don't, I don't" Ducky said with a frown.
"Where they go this time?" Petrie wondered.
"Come on" Littlefoot suddenly said, walking off back towards the rock circle the grown-ups always met at, "if we at least listen to some of what the grown-ups say it might help us know where to start looking for where they might have gone if it is just that".
"Hope it's just that" Guido breathed.
Cera was so impatient, and the glider's words didn't help, she would have rather headed off to start a search now, but Littlefoot's argument made sense, so with a sigh she followed the others as they all headed towards where the grown-ups were meeting.
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Even if the gang hadn't all known to wait quietly at the edge of the circle as the grown-ups talked, the tone of the conversation made them anyway.
"You're telling me there's kidnappers going about the Valley and your first act was to call a meeting getting us to leave our kids alone!" the dinosaur known as Mrs. Mia yelled so loud it made Topsy himself flinch.
"Now I didn't say to bring or not bring 'em" Topsy nonetheless was quick with a defensive answer, "Plus far as I hear the other kids are fine!".
"W-well I'm not sure" a voice said. Petrie immediately glanced over as he saw it was his own mother. As she glanced aside in thought or something and scanned, she seemed to spot out Petrie with his friends and as the little hatchling worried he was in trouble for having snuck out, he was surprised at the emotion he saw in his mother's eyes, relief.
"Tory?" it was Ducky's mother who walked closer to prod along the flyer who had caused a hush in the talk as she'd said this. Coming back to the moment, Tory went on, "A few of the other flyers have said they'll keep an eye on what kids they can, like they do during these meetings" the dark blue flyer went on, "and I'm sure where all of my kids are...but for one".
Ducky glanced to Petrie, as if to say maybe he should tell his mother he was here, but the small flyer just shook his head, no his mother knew where he was...
"I haven't seen Harper all day, not since I foolishly let her fly off on her own" Tory's voice all but cracked as she went on. There were gasps and then a stunned silence.
"I...I saw her not a while ago" Tria informed, "before noticing the twins were gone. Not after that but...well I just wasn't checking before as we all rushed here". Tory nodded as the pink threehorn tried to excuse away why she might not have seen the little one to put her mother at ease. It hardly helped.
"Well...we'll add your Harper to the list to be looked for, and I pray your assumption is wrong" Topsy's grave voice went on. Ducky's mother instantly took up the flyer's hand and as Tory glanced over at her, Mrs. Swimmer and her locked eyes in an understanding so deep it further broke Tory's heart. Mrs. Swimmer didn't say a word, she knew they wouldn't help, she just stood there silently providing support.
Petrie noticed the rest of his friends were glancing to him as well but he didn't notice, just stared at his mother, at that look, that look that seemed somehow to just know. No. Harper was here in the Valley. His sister didn't go anywhere, none of them did! She...she couldn't be...
Every angry and annoyed word both Petrie and his sister had thrown about in their frustration seemed to replay to the hatchling's mind again. Now that he thought of it, he probably really had started it. Petrie glanced down, "Me...me not mean it Harper..." he whispered. He felt Ducky hug him.
"We're going to start up a search party to scout for the kids we know of and also take an account of the other young one's about to be sure, who..." Topsy didn't even finish asking for volunteers before a very good size group was got up.
Petrie glanced up and this time his frown was different. He watched the adults moving off for a bit, wiped at his stuffed up beak once more and then, without a word to any of his friends, turned and began to flap off.
"Petrie..." Guido had at first tried to call his friend back as he worried Petrie was flying off to be alone in his upset state yet as all five of the remaining young ones watched they suddenly realized Petrie was aiming high, aiming for...outside the Valley.
"Petrie no, come back!" Ducky jumped off Spike's back and began to run, "you are sick and you do not know where to go!". The others turned and began to run after where Petrie was going as well.
"I'll get him" Guido flew high to try and catch up to and stop Petrie from in the air since he was the only one who could possibly do it.
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Darn, you're right. No answers for me this time. Ah well, I must keep reading in that case.
Seems Petrie is determined to head off into the Mysterious Beyond. I liked Ducky's words at the end there. Sort of... foreboding in a way. I think the biggest thing I'm still thinking about though is why those fast runners are abducting children, but my answers will need to wait. XD
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(Hmm, do these runners even need names? hehe, yeah probably eventually. Again thankies to those reviewing and here's where the tree sweets get spilled on what's running through these crazy runner's heads!)
IV: More Information
Despite there being holes in the net of vines, Harper still wasn't able to see much of where they went, just felt the air grow chillier as night fell and the light failed even more. She also just listened for anything that might give a clue and tried to tell herself it wasn't happening. She wasn't being drug who knew how many miles away from home to who knew where!
"Some kind of swimmer and we'd probably have it all up" the runners were talking again as the second one said this.
"Let's not stretch the group too much, only so many kids at a time" the other one said. Try as she might, Harper couldn't make this statement make sense. She just felt even more fear well up, what was going on?
Harper next caught another sound nearby, like that of frightened babbling. There was a "Oh hush up!" and then it stopped and the little flyer didn't want to think on how the runners might have got this cooperation. The torturously long walk of not knowing where they were going finally, finally ended as with an unexpected tilt Harper found herself flung out into the open once more.
She immediately, almost off a flyer's instincts on such, glanced to the sky first to get her bearings of where she was. The inky blackness above also told her of what she already knew, it was night. They were all in a depression or something of the land, with tall walls of rock about that Harper's gaze of the sky took in as well, almost like the Great Valley only smaller, seeming to be just a clearing with not much in it.
All this noticing only took a stunned moment or two and while she was thus distracted the runner carrying her net bent down and fastened vines about her wings before the thought of flight could enter her head.
"Just for a bit" his companion answered with a smile as Harper turned to them, "we'll only need you flying when we ask". That sounded more scary somehow. Harper continued her looking about at where they were and noticed next where the whimpering had probably come from as the other runner had emptied from his net two little threehorn twins. Those one's of Mr. Threehorn's oldest daughter who visited sometimes, Harper was able to recognize.
The two were only a bit bigger from when they had visited before being at least better at talking because the dark gray little boy immediately turned to the runners and yelled in his little kid voice, "You let us go now!". He only got a laugh from them at this.
"I'm afraid that's not going to happen" the first runner who had carried the twin's net said, "but don't worry, we didn't invite you kids here to hurt you".
"Invited my tail" a voice muttered and Harper and the twins turned to see an older spiketail kid, with full if short plates and a tail with enough spikes to defend somewhat. He glared at the runner's, "I've already felt a full day of you two's "learning" and if you think you're going to pull these kids into it too...".
"I'd hush that mouth of yours as we now have leverage" the first runner said, suddenly reaching over and hoisting Harper up around her neck. She stilled, eyes going wide in fear. The older spiketail kid looked stunned and then frowned.
"Now no angry words..." the runner drawled out, "We can find more kids and you wouldn't want the guilt of her injury on your head would ya?". As the spiketail kid glanced aside, the runner set Harper down and she immediately scrambled away. Dinah and Dana were still and quiet as well in fear now.
"Now let's not get off on the wrong foot" the second runner said, "after all you kids are mainly here because we need your opinions and help".
"Exactly" the first one smiled, "but you must be tired from the trip, so we'll go into all of it in the morning" he said, "Night and no going anywhere, like you could" he chuckled. The runner moved to pat the kids' heads in a parody of affection but they all jerked away with angry scowls, so he left it be.
As soon as they were gone, Harper turned to the older spiketail kid to see him walking up. "Cowards!" he called once it was safe and the runners wouldn't hear him and/or do anything to any of them over the insult. He then sighed, "Here, I don't know what I can do about the little one's, but let me cut those vines" he bent to try and snap the vines holding Harper's wings, but the runners had known what to choose apparently since no matter how he tried it he just couldn't.
"It's ok...I don't know if I could have left without the twins anyway" Harper said as the spiketail stepped back looking defeated, "W-where are we?".
The spiketail sighed, "I don't exactly know, oh name's Ridge by the way" he gave a small smile.
"I'm Harper" the flyer introduced.
"Dinah"
"Dana" the twins gave their name's too with smiles.
"Pleased ta meet ya" Ridge smiled before frowning again, "Anyway, I don't know where we are, they had me blindfolded and drug along as quick as they could carry me from my own nest. Imagine! Kid my age and with full spikes no less!" he showed his tail. Harper noticed they were more pin-prick sharp than full spikes but didn't say anything to be polite.
"Anyway" Ridge went on, "I've only been here a day myself full but it was enough for them to start with the 'lessons'" he sighed.
"What...what kind of lessons?" Harper asked. The twins were silent but looked very interested in the answer.
Ridge shook his head. "They...they're insane that's what!" he said, "did they feed you that line, about being 'finders outers'?" he asked. Harper nodded.
"We just gots grabbed" Dinah said.
"Yeah" Ridge sighed, "Probably didn't go through an elaborate story for you, well Crazy is what they should have told you they are! They want the impossible! They...they want to be the best, of everyone, every kind". As Harper and the twins looked just confused still, Ridge wasn't surprised.
"I...I don't get it" Harper said.
"Sane dinosaurs wouldn't!" Ridge said, "they...the lessons aren't for us, they're for them to learn stuff from us. Yesterday they...".
From around a corner where the runners were obviously staying not too far away so as to watch the kids, one of them peeked his head around the corner. "Hey now, let's stop all the chit-chat and get to sleep. Big day tomorrow". He disappeared again.
Ridge sneered, "Yeah like to see them do some of the..." he muttered. Looking to Harper and the twins again he sighed, "Well I guess you'll find out more of what I mean tomorrow but don't worry I'm still working on a plan of getting out of here. It can't be too hard" he finished, only sounding half convinced himself.
Harper held in her sigh at this statement and the situation she was now in. Ridge settled down and Dinah and Dana immediately moved over to nestle beside him. Harper walked over as well and found that leaned against Ridge was probably the most comfortable way she was going to be able to lay or get to sleep with her wings still behind her as the runners had tied them.
As she lay there, she gazed up at the night sky from beyond the rock formations. If she imagined real hard she could maybe convince herself she was still in the Valley, huddling up with her siblings once more beside her mom, as safe and sound as a hatchling could get. But she wasn't. Instead she had no idea where she was except for outside the Great Valley, and she'd never been outside the Great Valley without her mom before. Never found her way there except with her mom and while in a huge herd.
Harper closed her eyes and blinked back tears. Even if she did figure out where she was...she couldn't get herself out of this. Petrie would be able to get himself out of something like this, he did it all the time actually with those friends of his. Harper couldn't.
Hearing the little hatchling beside him sniffle, Ridge frowned, "Hey...it's ok, we'll get out of this" he said.
"H-have you ever been alone before, Ridge?" Harper asked shakily.
There was a pause, then. "Only once, and only for a day, but I did manage to find my herd again, though mainly due to luck" he chuckled a bit. Harper had turned to look at him, and Ridge met her gaze seriously now, "but...I promise you Harper, I'll get you and the twins home" he smiled.
He could have been just bluffing, but...there was something in that look. Harper instantly believed him. She nodded with a small smile, then rolled back over to try and get some sleep.
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I REALLY like this chapter! It's finally kind of explaining what's going on, and it's kind of confirming my suspicions from two chapters ago. I'll white it out, so people won't get spoiled if they don't want to.
IT"S TIME FOR ANOTHER INSANE HAIR-BRAINED THEORY TIME!!!
Now, when those two fast runners first came up, I instantly thought rainbowfaces. Those two just painted a picture to me in that previous chapter to being some kind of aliens, like the rainbowfaces from the stone of cold fire. This latest chapter kind of confirms that for me. It seems like these two want to learn as much as possible from a variety of dinosaurs, just like alien researchers would. Though, these guys are going about it in a very different way than the rainbowfaces. I REALLY think these two are aliens, but I'd love to be proven wrong.
Anyway, this story is very exciting so far. Most "Villians" in LBT are just hungry sharpteeth. It is very rare for there to be actual villans in LBT, characters with actual motives and reasons for kidnapping or harming other characters.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
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Hey, don't have another chapter yet, I don't write that fast LOL. Just wanted to say thankyou for the review and I love your insane hair-brained theories here and in other stories :lol. I'm not telling you if you're correct yet, that would ruin the story but...you're thinking on the right lines...and...well anymore would be telling LOL
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LOL, whenever I say that, I'm not really trying to tell people to hurry up. I'm mostly just showing that I'm like the story, and I'm interested in reading what happens next. It's just to enforce that the writer is doing a good job.
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Interesting thought, vonboy, and it seems like it's being confirmed in a non direct manner by the fic's author. XD
Since I have nothing better to go on at the moment, I'll go with your guess. XD
Poor Harper. I like how you compared her to Petrie, and how she doesn't feel capable of escaping like he could, but then again, I'm sure she'll be meeting the challenge in this story, and crafting her own sort of adventure. Good OCs you have going on here. Ridge is pretty interesting, and seems a good partner for Harper in this upcoming misadventure.
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(Well I didn't say he was "right" right ;) just...well perhaps I should just stop saying :D Oh and I knew you didn't mean it as a rush vonboy :)
Well, after this chapter we catch back up with Harper and the others and then maybe some further info will be shed on the full mystery of this all)
V: Further Info and Help
"Petrie! Slow down!" Cera called as they all struggled to keep pace with the little flyer. While keeping up himself, Littlefoot glanced over to Cera to tell her how they both knew that wasn't going to be happening. Petrie had long since lead them over the wall and into the Mysterious Beyond. They still had no idea if he even had a single clue to go off or if they were just following him out in a blind chase. Probably the last one.
Guido now flew beside his flyer friend, but still Petrie kept on. "So..." the glider figured he'd voice the concern they all had, "is there a plan to us going this way? Or...".
"Cera's sleeping spot on side of Great Valley this side of Mysterious Beyond on to" Petrie said, still keeping his eyes forward, scanning as he flew, "if someone take twins and...me sister, they gots to go this way too". Guido was hit with two thoughts. First off how much sense that actually made and being sort of impressed with Petrie's logic, second was a wave of pity at the way the guilt ridden hatchling could barely mention his sister.
"Petrie...you couldn't have known" he said. The hatchling frowned, yet rather than answer he just scanned about once more.
Cera meanwhile was all eyes and ears. Petrie's plan of rushing out had been brash, but now that they were here on the quest, best find anything she could on where Dinah and Dana could be as well. Of course the threehorn knew there was a very good chance both sets of missing kids had nothing to do with each other, but it gave her hope to sort of think they did. It was a place to start where she had none.
As they all moved off along a flat, if semi-barren plain, a thumping suddenly interrupted them and the kids all paused. Petrie and Guido even flew down closer to their friends as they saw some bushes off to the right parting. Guido looked upset but before he could even begin to fearfully ask what it was, the bushes completed giving way and a herd of harmless spiketails came out.
Harmless but for one of them almost stepping on Guido. The glider screamed and ducked back behind Cera, much to the threehorn's annoyance a bit. The adult checked his progress, noticing the kids. "Ah, terribly sorry there" he said, "I didn't see you kids, 'fraid I'm a big preoccupied" he let out a sigh.
"Well that's no reason to go stepping on kids!" Cera shot out. Littlefoot sent her a look.
"Um, that's ok sir" he next told the spiketail before attempting to walk past. The adult and the rest of the herd watched as the kids passed them. Ducky tensed a bit at this attention too.
"H-hold on there" the adult called. The kids paused, but Ducky immediately jumped from Spike's back to stand in front of her brother a bit protectively, causing Littlefoot to suddenly understand her tension of before. They were in front of a spiketail herd again, and the last one had tried to effectively steal Spike, though with good intentions; the little swimmer feared that was what was drawing their attention this time too.
The spiketail proved this wrong though by going on, "You...you kids haven't by chance seen another young one? A spiketail, a bit older than you I would guess?".
"No sir we haven't" Littlefoot said as some of the others glanced to each other. More missing kids? Outside the Valley even?
"Ah" the spiketail sighed and glanced down. Some more of his herd moving forward, including a female who nuzzled him.
"Our son, Ridge, disappeared a few days ago overnight" the female explained, "and we've been searching ever since but...with no clues".
The male glanced over at them again, "You...you kids should get yourselves on home too. It's late and your parents are probably worried as well".
Ducky now felt just awful for suspecting these spiketails. She stepped forward, "We can not do that, oh no, we can not" she said, "we have lost people too, Cera's little niece and nephew and Petrie's sister" she indicate the threehorn and flyer.
Now it was the spiketail herd's turn to glance to each other with the bad feeling this news brought. The male frowned deeper, "Well I'm sorrier than you know to hear that" and he sounded it. "Please, allow us to provide escort while searching out our own clues, or lack thereof".
Littlefoot had just opened his mouth to speak, when Cera, tired of standing there for one, and now not liking the intrusion, interrupted, "Thanks but no thanks, we'll be fine" she said.
"Cera" Littlefoot glanced over at her. The threehorn stood her ground though and despite the fact that following Cera could lead to trouble, like the trip to the Great Valley in the first place; Ducky, Petrie and Spike noted the threehorn's determination and fell in line behind it.
"Um, yeah, we probably be fine" Petrie said.
Littlefoot sighed, he knew the others, Cera included, trusted him but there were times Cera's stubbornness got the others to believe in things the threehorn wasn't certain of herself and it was just frustrating. As the adults took in the shock of the kids refusal, talking amongst themselves, Littlefoot incited a similar talk amongst his friends.
"Cera, they're just trying to help, and what if it helps us find the twins and Harper quicker?" Littlefoot pointed out.
"We've never needed adult help before!" Cera shot back, "they'll just get in the way! We've got this!".
"Their son is gone too" Littlefoot argued, " At about the same time. Something bigger is going on here and if we both have clues that could help each other out".
"Have you seen how slow a spiketail herd moves! they won't be any help at all" Cera went on. Littlefoot sighed.
"Me just wanna get moving again" Petrie broke in, "wanna find...anything".
"And that's exactly what we're gonna do!" Cera went on, "Come on!" she started walking again. Petrie, feeling the same impatience as Cera due to his worry, quickly flapped up after the threehorn and Guido of course had to follow him. It was like watching the split during the trip to the Great Valley again, only...
Ducky and Spike didn't move at first. Spike glanced to his sister and Ducky looked down where Cera, Petrie and Guido were heading and then to Littlefoot. "We should not let them go off alone, we shouldn't, we shouldn't". She was saying they should follow, of course, but...she wasn't just turning and following Cera. She believed in him, in his "side", though Littlefoot hardly cared about that.
Not that he faulted Petrie or even Cera, they just wanted their family back now. Littlefoot turned back to the spiketail herd, "Our parents are looking for clues in the Great Valley too, maybe..." the longneck paused, he was essentially getting them told on for sneaking off, but it couldn't be helped.
Ridge's father filled in the gaps though and nodded, "I know our leader knows the way to the famous wall" he turned to the herd leader who nodded, "you all go on, tell them of what we know, I've got the kids whether they'll take my help or not". He turned back to Littlefoot, Ducky and Spike. The really little spiketail grinned and Ducky giggled.
"Come on" Ridge's father said, "let's catch up to the know it all threehorn".
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(Well thanks for the reviews so far, of course, and so glad you could see what I meant to do, Pterano, in that I'm not insulting my own character saying Harper can't do anything, she just doesn't feel she can, but obviously part of the larger group that helped Petrie save Guido has more in her than she knows she does and part of this story is her finding that out :D
Well, the runners do more talking and I'm not sure if clues further into this are given outright but I am working at more being revealed as you will all see :) Oh, and in case you were wondering I'll explain why I have the twins older. I just figured in the time it took for Tricia's egg to be laid and hatched, not to mention any other time that might have passed between the movies, it's reasonable the twins went from like toddler 2ish to 3 or 4 equivalent and thus talking. Knew you probably didn't need that explained, but I did anyway. :D)
VI: First Day's Trials
The next morning, as Harper awoke and blinked up at the rising bright circle, the walls about and fact that the sky never changed no matter where you were threw her once more and it took her a few seconds to realize she wasn't at home. Far from it. She was resting against a spiketail kid she'd just met yesterday, Ridge, with the twins nearby.
"Morning!" the two runners returned and all four kids stood, frowning in their direction. Ridge frowned worst of all, probably because he knew what to expect from today where as the younger kids didn't.
"Oh, now, don't go looking at us like that, like we're monsters doing you kids harm" the second runner said. "Like we said, we just need you to show us a thing or two and we even went and gathered breakfast for you so you won't have to!". The runner emptied out his arms of treestars and his companion had even found some treesweets which he dropped down for the kids before releasing Harper's vine bonds to be in front so she could at least eat.
Harper felt her stomach rumble, but was still determined not to take up the offer, almost to spite these runners and their ill intent. The twins backed her up on this apparently.
"You 'spect us to eat those?" Dana said.
"Yeah, ya might'a pois'ned 'em" Dinah added.
"Fine, no sharptooth bites on us if you kids want to go through the day's activities without food" the other runner crossed his arms uncaring.
Ridge again knew more of what was coming than the others and sighed, "We...really should eat before...it all starts. We have no choice but to trust they wouldn't poison us just yet" he narrowed his eyes at the runners.
"Your faith is reassuring" the first one smiled.
Harper, Dinah and Dana still waited and watched as Ridge took up a treestar and ate, watching him chew and not die for a few moments before getting up the courage to follow suit. Dinah and Dana each cautiously ate at a treesweet. Reaching into the pile, Harper picked up a treestar for herself and just stared.
It had been hidden underneath all the others, but as she pulled out the first treestar her little hands found and held out the food as big as her with both hands, she could only stare at the bright, vivid red color of the thing. Figured. Oh it so figured! Apparently Uncle Pterano had gotten the story a bit wrong and you didn't even have to eat the things to get bad luck since she and the others already had piles of it!
As Harper stood there, staring at the treestar, frowning and just feeling more sick, an idea slowly hit her. If you asked her, deep down, whether or not she believed the stories of a tickly red treestar being bad luck she would have told you that she wasn't sure. Uncle Pterano made everything he said sound like he'd actually done it or knew of it, and she didn't think he'd just up and lie about something like this, but her mother was the one the little one trusted to ultimately tell her how the world worked. Her mother was the one she was going to be like when she grew up, strong, so tough when she had to be that even Mr. Threehorn had to listen to her, yet caring and smart.
Harper's clues for when Uncle Ptearno was "saying too much" or just "not saying it right" came when her mother got this look on her face, and the tale of a red treestar got that look a lot. So it could be true, or it could not be true. And if it was true...well, her mother would never do what Harper was now thinking of, but she was still young and they did all but deserve it.
The little hatchling smiled at the two runners, "You know what, you're right; we should be more grateful for you looking out for us and all". The others looked at Harper as she said this. She'd explain later. "Here" she handed up the red treestar, "you can have the first pick" she smiled, all innocent, and all the while, for once, wishing and hoping Uncle Pterano had been right about this and she could watch a bit of well deserved bad things hit these two.
They fell for it too. "Why thank you" the second runner took the treestar and the two broke and shared it.
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Nothing happened during the kids breakfast, but then Harper figured it would probably take a while. Her focus was put to other things very soon, anyway as they were all lead further out to an open part of the small clearing.
"Now then, yesterday, before finding you three as well, we got to see some of the young spiketail's tricks, how about today we start with threehorn stuff" the runner speaking smiled to the twins. He hauled Dana out first, the second one moving over to be close to the others so they could enforce their motivation both ways. Dinah's step out to try and halt her brother being taken was paused as the runner griped his neck lightly, reminding her of the threat.
"And of course unless we want your sister and the others injured, we'll do as I say" he reminded Dana. So Harper, Dinah and Ridge could only watch as the runner walked over with Dana half following to a big rock.
"Now, first off, of course taking into account your young age, as we did with the spiketail yesterday, let's see if we can't get some feel of a threehorn's strength".
"He...he's not gonna..." Harper gasped and glanced over to Ridge who just shut his eyes, answering the question enough for the young flyer.
"A rock just a bit that way has the scratch marks from them figuring out stuff about how hard I could hit with my tail" Ridge nonetheless told the two girls.
Dinah frowned, "But that rock's big, it'll hurt his head!".
"Quiet you three" the runner watching them shushed.
"Now, let's give it a good running start, shall we, so we can get the best information" the runner grinned. As she watched, Harper thought on how this could be worse actually, Dana would after all only have to hit the rock as hard as he dared. The little threehorn seemed to still be trying to think up a way out of this, but there wasn't any and so he steadies his footing and then ran, striking the rock and not seeming to dazed by it. The other kids sighed as he seemed ok. The runner bent to look, and Harper soon saw how this could get ugly.
"I'm afraid we're going to need a bit better than that" the runner criticized.
"But he'd just a kid, that's as hard as he ca-" Harper began, but was cut off as she was hauled up again by the second runner.
"Silence" he didn't exactly growl it out but the threat was there and he soon set her back down, yet still hovered like a sharptooth waiting to spring. With such a present retaliation system hovered over his sister and the others Dana had no choice but to comply. The others winced as the kid was forced to push himself.
Tears sprang to poor little Dinah's eyes and Harper wished she could do something for the girl, or do something to stop all this. Ridge was pretty powerless as well, and it seemed to really bother him as the oldest of them, but he was granted enough moving room from the ever present runner threat to wrap his tail about the little threehorn and try to provide some level of comfort.
"Well, not bad info on the male" the runner with Dana examined the rock, "let's compare beside the female shall we?". Harper could see that Dana probably would have gone for the runner then if he weren't exhausted and already sporting cuts about his bare frill and little nosehorn from the over extent.
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Sorry for not reviewing sooner, but, better late then never, I suppose. -_-
Okay, so, I guess it's up to me to spoil the party and be your little nitpicker for grammer and spelling and all that jazz. Let's get started, shall we?
The next morning, as Harper awoke and blinked up at the rising bright circle, the walls about and fact that the sky never changed no matter where you were threw her once more and it took her a few seconds to realize she wasn't at home.
*To me, this just did not make sense. For one thing, you've got, "the walls about" and it really doesn't make sense to the reader what you're trying to talk about. Instead, how does this sound, "the walls about her." That provides a clear picture as to what you're trying to say and, if you want to be real nitty-gritty with this, you could put, "the walls around her." Oh gosh, here we go...
* Maybe, "and the fact" would help a little bit? All you've got is, "and fact" which doesn't make sense.
"Like we said, we just need you to show us a thing or two and we even went and gathered breakfast for you so you won't have to!".
* After someone says something, that's just it. You don't need to put a period right after that.
Ridge * again * knew more of what was coming than the others and sighed, "We...really should eat before...it all starts. We have no choice but to trust they wouldn't poison us just yet" he narrowed his eyes at the runners.
* That should be a capital because Ridge isn't saying something, he's DOING something.
* The purple spots should both have comma's right after them because they're not really part of the sentence and the green spot should be capitalized. Ridge isn't saying something, he's DOING something, therefore, it should be capitalized.
"And of course unless we want your sister and the others injured, we'll do as I say"
* You'll perhaps? Unless he's speaking in a manner you would to a very young child, I don't think that's correct.
*You?
Dinah frowned, "But that rock's big, it'll hurt his head!".
* I've already mentioned this before. You don't need a period at the end of when someone speaks.
Dana would * after all * only have to hit the rock as hard as he dare
* These should be comma's because it's not really part of a sentence, as I mentioned before.
"But he'd just a kid, that's as hard as he ca-" Harper began, but was cut off as she was hauled up again by the second runner.
* That should be an "s" because she's saying, "he IS just a kid."
Okay, that's all the grammer and spelling I caught. :yes
Overall, it's not a bad story and it's actually pretty interesting. I hope you continue on with this because things are just about to get interesting... ;)
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Pretty good chapter. I'm staying with my first guess, as it still seems the fast runners are acting like I think they would.
I Am kind of interested in WHY they want to know this stuff. Is there something their planning I wonder?
Can't wait for the next chapter! :DD
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So let's see... yes I knew what you were doing with Harper. :) I rather liked it, starting all uncertain and scared. :)
These tests are rather mysterious I must admit. Well OK... the first test is. Maybe it'll start falling into place as the story continues. You do a good job at keeping it intriguing though. And I still like Ridge I think, good character. :DD
These "rainbow faces" are certainly a bit on the heavy handed side though. Really need this information for some reason or other.
And Pterano made a cameo appearance (even if it was only in Harper's thoughts)! :DD
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Just giving the long author note before the story to say, again, thanks for the continued reviews, even the grammar fix LBTDiclonious. Yes, grammer's never been my strong point in writing, it's what brought my english papers down.
The only correction I can defend, is that yes, "And of course unless we want your sister and the others injured, we'll do as I say"
is intentionally that way, like the runner is talking to a very young child. He's sort of using it to demean Dana/be obnoxious :)
I'll try to not go too fast for you readers and give you a review chance too, and yes obviously these runners are very driven...and...that's all I can say...
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(Well, something tells me Pterano will like this chapter :DD)
VII: Unexpected Hope
It wasn't often that a group of groundwalkers could capture this one flyer's full attention. Even rarer so for said attention to be captured for five bright circle cycles straight! Apparently he had had the fortune (whether good or bad he wasn't sure) to run into this herd after a major occurrence in their ranks. Yet, again, it had been Pterano's own worries that immediately drew his wondering enough to flap down to investigate.
It was just so strange that he had been intrigued right after hearing the runners down below yelling. Yelling the flat-tooth language for one, from a species not known to speak much but which it was supposed spoke sharptooth if anything. There wasn't anything to back this thought up, it just came from them being so unknown.
The colors varied as well, Pterano had noted, from brown to greens to even vivid purples. Still not quite as colorful as rainbow faces, but the female leader of the herd, in her soft blues and greens, was probably counted quiet beautiful among her species.
She had a kind, soft smile too, which probably was what drew people in more so than any beauty of hers. Pterano had found himself quite taken aback and feeling the outsider when that soft, inquisitive gaze had fallen on the flyer investigating the herd.
He had stutteringly tried, in a way that wouldn't offend, to explain that he was just curious about them and their...differences. She hadn't taken offense, thankfully. Neither her or her mate, who was a more orange and brown color and gave off that feeling of being what Pterano had tried to be and failed at, a good leader, kind, wise and fair. His first words, which opened the door for him to the herd, being "You are welcome, flyer, and we shall be happy to answer any and all of your questions provided you let us see to your needs while you stay with us". How could he have refused. Even if he'd wanted, the whole herd was watching him and would probably have retaliated an insult to the leader's hospitality.
Pterano had enjoyed himself though and the runners didn't make him feel to stupid with the questions he asked, which was good, even on the path to becoming better in the middle of an exile, Pterano hated any risk of his ego bruising.
He'd only just this morning, watching the bright circle rise a fifth time from a cliff above the runner herd, noted that what he thought he'd imagined before he probably hadn't. The head female's kind gaze had been softened more by what could only be pinned down as sadness. He flapped down to inquire. She immediately noticed him, giving an almost covering smile, "Ah, more you wish to know good flyer?" she asked.
"Yes, though, perhaps more along a line I should have inquired on before" Pterano got out hesitantly, glancing up at the runner in a different form of intrigue. She seemed to avoid this look.
"Madame..." she flinched at that tell tale "prying" form in his address. "Is something wrong?".
She gave a small, covering, laugh, "No...I..." turning to the flyer's look she realized she wasn't going to get out of this. Sighing she raised her head in that regal form she just seemed to posses naturally and began with her own question. "Do you, or have you, ever had children, my good flyer?" she asked.
Pterano looked as stunned as could be expected by the question, "well...er...no. None of my own. I...am afraid my...self centered thoughts of before never quite allowed for taking a mate". A wistful, sad look came to Pterano's features. "I...would help watch my sister's kids but...even then, I'm afraid I thought more of myself and the admiration I could pull from them with stories than I ever thought properly on what they might need".
Seeing that she might have caused unwanted thoughts, the runner reached out a hand and brought the flyer back to the present by laying it on his arm, "A common mistake I know relatives to be guilty of" she gave another soft smile, before frowning, "I...only asked to see if maybe you might be able to grasp what it would be like to have a son...run away...because...well he never exactly told us why just..." she sighed.
Pterano frowned, "Well I am sorry to hear of any young one being lost, and if I may be of any help in bringing the wayward scamp home" he tried for a cheering up smile.
The female runner, matriarch of the herd, smiled back just a bit, "I'm afraid that wouldn't work. It's my two sons actually, Veck and Lars. They were to rule the herd together and...they're not children anymore, more like young adults fully capable of making their own decisions, though they seem hardly mature enough to make the right ones".
"Ah, well that does complicate matters" Pterano said with that same smile to try and lighten the mood, while he pondered on how well he knew of such a description as old enough to have maturity, just not having it yet.
The matriarch turned to him once more and found so much openness in that look that she went on. "Last I or my mate saw of them, they were both talking to our advisor and then, after that, they were just gone" she sighed.
Her mouth opened to go on, when she was interrupted by said advisor running up, "A lone spiketail just passing by in the company of a varying group of young ones wishes to speak with you" he said.
Both Pterano and the runner herd's matriarch frowned in curiosity. "Um, if you...wish me to simply stay here..." Pterano began.
The matriarch smiled, "You've more than earned the right to at least be witness to such herd business, come along" she offered and then began to walk. Pterano flew after. They came up to where her mate stood, already facing this lone spiketail, Ridge's father, with the whole group of young one's, Littlefoot, Spike, Ducky and even Cera, Guido and Petrie (who's sniffles were now thankfully fully gone) that he'd succeeded in catching up to the day before.
"Sorry to intrude and take up your time" Ridge's father began, "but we were passing through and were just curious if you've seen...".
"Petrie..." Pterano of course recognized all the kids as he landed, but his nephew being with this spiketail to just randomly find the herd being his chief shock of the day.
Petrie looked beyond stunned as well as everyone paused. The runner herd's leaders and Ridge's father paused in confusion and the others of the kids taking in the same shock as Petrie.
Cera rolled her eyes at the irony probably, but didn't say what was going through her head. Petrie stood there on the threehorn's back, stock still for a moment or so longer before everything, the guilt he still felt over the sibling spat with Harper, the worry and fear over her compiled with his normal ones, and now the shock melting to joy at seeing Pterano again, broke.
"Uncle!" Petrie threw all of his previous emotions into his joy at seeing Pterano again and launched over into the older flyer's embrace.
The runner's matriarch was the first to break the odd pause for the others by giving a small smile, "One of your sister's hatchlings that you mentioned?" she said. Pterano didn't hear or answer but for those who didn't know how the two were related it was explanation enough if they'd needed one.
"Well, it seems to be a small section of the Beyond" the patriarch of the runners said (it wasn't so much called Mysterious by those who lived there), "why don't you all come rest and then you can get to asking me what you were about to".
Ridge's father nodded and, along with the others, moved off further into the clearing where the runners were at the moment. Pterano would catch up, but first his attention was drawn to his nephew still hugging him, but now, he noticed, seeming to shake a bit.
"Petrie?" he sat the child back a bit and frowned at the distress clearly written all over the young flyer's face. Pterano gave a small smile which he meant to be reassuring, "Nevermind what you kids are doing out here, whatever is the matter?".
Petrie opened his beak, tried to come up with some way to communicate all that was running through his little head, gave up, and just hugged Pterano again.
Pterano sighed, not pressing him, and just wrapping his wing around his nephew once more, "Well I'm sure whatever it is, it can't be that bad". Oh if only he knew! Petrie thought. Falling asleep was the last thing he wanted to do right now, but they had all been pushing themselves so hard for about two days now to find any sign of Ridge, Harper or the twins that as the little flyer allowed himself to relax in Pterano's embrace he was soon out. Similarly Ridge's father and the other children soon found themselves drifting off as they reclined on the grass. The runners looked surprised but then the matriarch shooed them all away from the spot to allow their guests the rest they so clearly needed. Whatever they'd had to ask could wait.
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Yay! Pterano's in here!!!! Sweet!
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Ahhh Pterano IS in this! He's gone from cameo to making a guest appearance, and possibly a longer one now! Good to see the infamous old flyer in here, as vonboy likes to call him. :smile
I liked the introduction of the leader of the runner herd. She's pretty fascinating, and I take it her two sons are the ones that kidnapped everyone else? Seems the rainbow faces... or at least another version of them, are sojourning in the Mysterious Beyond. If they ARE rainbow faces that is. I'm still figuring that part out. :p Still, I liked how you described her. Well done on that. :DD
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Didn't realize I haven't said anything about this chapter yet, even though I did read it a few days ago :/
Anyway, like Pterano, I really like the leader of that herd, and the revelation as to who these fast runners might be. She seems mysterious to me too, so they all could be...well, what I think the two abductors are.
Sorry I have to bring this up, I do it to everyone else, but are Ruby and Chomper in here?
And funny that someone's picking up on one of my catchphrases :lol
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Wow what a awesome story so far.I really enjoy it a lot. You're doing a great job with it. It's very interesting and written. Nice work on it. :smile :smile
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Thanks to those still reviewing and new reviewers. I'm surprised by now much attention this little story's getting and thanks guys you're an inspiration :)
Yeah, the way this herd of mine acts rainbow faces might be a better way of thinking of them, though I still keep saying and do hold that they are runners meaning whatever vague species that Hidden Runner is...they're that...but obviously as the last chapter showed they...you know what I'm going to stop talking so the intrigue stays :DD. On that line, not saying if anyone's right or got it, just hold on, all will be revealed and I'm still working at how to continue slowly showing stuff. Similarly I'm not rushing chapters myself, as you may have noticed, so even if I'm in somewhat regular updates for now, don't panic if they drop off, just working at the story.
Depending on how I work stuff the next chapter could be up today or tomorrow but don't hold me to that please :lol
Oh and while the timeline is vague and Chomper and Ruby could be in the Valley, I'm leaving them out just because I have enough characters and stuff going on for this story at least so sorry, no Chomper and Ruby Vonboy but I could use them later in another story or something after this is done ;)
Hmm, now you've got me pondering, but one story at a time LOL
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(Yes Pterano adds something to the story by being here, as you'll see :smile )
VIII: The Seeker's Herd
Pterano just stared forward, eyes fixed on little Petrie and Cera as the two, having the most personal worry over the occurrence that led to them being out here, told the brief but horrible story. Those poor little threehorns, his poor sister, poor Harper!
Ridge's father added that his search was in the same of the kids, telling of his son. "I...have very good contact with my herd, even away from them" the spiketail went on, "there are smaller creatures about that they've always been able to get to relay a message. The fact that even as I moved out with the children no word came can only mean the Great Valley herd has still found nothing".
"So...they gotta be out here" Cera said, glancing down, "we just don't know where or...why"
Ridge's father's mouth tightened as he thought up an explanation he'd yet to voice. Pterano felt his world plummet in a bit as he felt his thoughts went to where the spiketail's already were. "You're thinking...abduction" he said softly. Oh the irony, was the whole world going to punish him personally for everything he'd done?! Yes, it had been wrong when he took Ducky away from her own family for his own protection in his plans, but...he didn't need the universe making him feel that worry over a family member for himself; and his sister had done nothing to deserve the pain she no doubt went through.
Pterano would have up and flown over to comfort her if...his own actions hadn't made that impossible right about now. More guilt hit as Pterano pondered on how he'd sort of thought of his sister's other kids as one and hadn't paid much attention to the thought of Harper individually, but as he did so now he recalled the little one in question. Oh yes, his sister's little girl that he felt was going to fulfill her goal and grow up to be just like her mother, sensible and with a sense he'd already noted of watching out for her siblings. Regrettable for Petrie but not a bad thing all in all, and she deserved the chance to grow to be it!
Surely whatever powers of fate or whatever were punishing him wouldn't allow her to be hurt just so he would feel pain like that he'd caused when he'd mislead that herd. Pterano glanced to the sky, lost in thoughts of his own with a deep frown upon his face.
"Me yelled at Harper" Petrie brought his uncle's focus back to the here and now as he flapped over to confide. "If something happened and that the last me said...". Pterano frowned deeper as he realized the regret way too big for such a little hatchling that Petrie was dealing with.
"It won't be, Petrie" he pulled the little one over to him, "I promise you, we're going to find Harper and return her to you and your mother" as he hugged his nephew, Pterano glanced off to the horizon and his frown took on a different tint, "and whatever is in the heavens to help better help who did this when I get at them!"
"You're one to talk on payback" Cera shot over, hearing the older flyer. Her mood hadn't been improved by Dinah and Dana being lost. Given the circumstances, Pterano let the young threehorn's comment roll off.
"Well we will of course help in any way that we can" the matriarch of the runner herd said.
"Thank you" Ridge's father nodded. As did Pterano.
"Did you have a lead you were following, Sir?" the flyer turned to the spiketail.
"Other than a vague direction of the little flyer noticing that to take both the twins and his sister, if they were taken, the culprit would have to travel this way in the Beyond, not much" Ridge's father said. "But still it's more to go on than any direction we previously had".
Pterano nodded, being impressed himself with his nephew's logic, but not saying anything as he knew Petrie wouldn't care about that right now with his sister missing. Maybe his own little nephew was more mature than him in some areas, the thought hit Pterano. "Then I say that plan sounds spot on and we follow that direction" the flyer agreed.
It was on the tip of Cera's tongue to shoot out some kind of "oh you're coming" comment to Pterano, but then, in an irony the threehorn didn't like, they were both on the same trail here, trying to find a niece of theirs.
Brief though the tail end of this talk had been, during it the runners themselves had been talking things over and the patriarch now turned to the search group of the young one's plus the spiketail and flyer. "Allow us to make good on our promise and accompany you to aid" he said. As a herd the runners were still a small group sort of and so it wouldn't be too much of a hindrance and in fact would probably be a help. Both Ridge's father and Pterano agreed.
"Come on, we were traveling this way" Ridge's father went on as he started them all on their way again in the direction he and he children had been traveling before. The runners fell in line.
Cera frowned, "More adults...we don't need this" she whispered over to Littlefoot.
"If they can help" the longneck pointed out again. The threehorn just sighed.
"Do not worry Cera" Ducky said, "We will find them, we will" the little swimmer somehow just knew what Cera's real problem was, and it was just more annoying. She didn't get to reply to Ducky though, because after the swimmer said this she was rushing off to find Spike again as the little spiketail walked beside Ridge's father once more. Seeming drawn to an adult of his species.
A dichotomy or such of the herd that hadn't been thought on or discussed previously seemed to now come into play though in that before any clear cut leaders hadn't needed to be decided. It was one adult spiketail leading a group of children. That was simple. As was Pterano's visiting position among the runners. Yet now, an impasse seemed to come up with the first physical decision time.
A forked path split off two ways. Ridge's father began walking off to the left as Pterano had already begun to fly off to the right before they both paused, noticing this. All the children, except for Petrie (who followed his uncle even without conscious thought of it) had paused at this as well. Ridge's father was the first to explain his position. "The ground is more level here, it will be easier traveling and I think it comes out at the same point".
"You think, but aren't sure, of course" Pterano pointed out. "Oh, no fault of yours of course, but still I believe I noticed an outlet that would keep to our wanted position through this way a few days ago as I traveled past it before meeting up with the runners". There was a pause as everyone took in what the flyer said. Petrie nodded like that made sense and Cera frowned and opened her mouth to say something, but Littlefoot was quick enough to halt her with his tail.
"It's a good suggestion Sir, I'll grant you" Ridge's father was clearly trying to hurry and explain while not seeming impatient. "but you're thinking from a flyer's perspective, it's nothing but dangerous for all of us groundwalkers to travel that way and...".
"So my niece suffers because you groundwalkers are inept!" Pterano had most definitely meant to think the thought, but he hadn't really meant to say it, still, even after noticing, he didn't take it back either. Everyone was silent.
"Sir, my son is probably in the same predicament" was the only soft spoken, pain ridden, defense Ridge's father had.
"Tensions are high" the female runner leader said, walking up. She laid a hand on either of the at odds dinosaurs. One on Pterano's arm and another on Ridge's father's shoulder blade, seeming to calm them with her soothing presence alone. They both glanced down, semi-ashamed as they thought on the past conversation. Both had wasted time on argument. Even Cera, who had broken from Littlefoot's side and seemed about to say something more to Pterano, something she probably would have regret saying to the flyer after the moment was passed, had paused.
"This is why I thought it best to come along" the matriarch runner smiled, "you both are too driven by emotions and need a mediator, us" she indicated her herd. "Now, my good flyer" she turned to Pterano, "Perhaps you should give a quick scout of both locations and see if the harder climb wold gain us anything or if we best go the spiketail's pointed out path".
For once Pterano had hit a force he couldn't argue with. Slowly he just nodded and flapped off to do said scouting.
"You are very good at saying good things and making everyone feel better" Ducky pointed out with a smile of admiration. The matriarch of the runners glanced down to the little swimmer with a smile, "It's a trait all good leaders much have. My mother had it, as did my father, on to...well cold times and cold times unable to be counted, or so I've been told" she gave a small laugh.
Pterano soon returned, "It...could be a bit...hard going. Perhaps the good spiketail is right" to have said this much took a lot of pride swallowing and Pterano was discouraged to find so much still in him in need of fixing still. It was the same old stuff coming up again. He had started up the same old fight, over the same old prejudices on non-flyers and same old pride within himself.
As the others walked on, Pterano just stood on the rock outcropping he'd landed on, hanging his head a bit. The matriarch touched his shoulder as she walked past, giving another of her soft smiles as he glanced to her, "Over-reaction is just a show of deep caring" she said before walking on. Pterano sighed, not sure his motives had been quite so pure, but too afraid to go searching too deeply on it. He just took to the skies again, following the small eclectic herd that the searchers were now.
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Not a very eventful chapter, but it was still good. I liked that you showed that Pterano still has some of his bad qualities. It's something he'll continue to wrestle with. I'm still really liking this herd of fast runners, so mysterious. It was interesting reading about these different characters butting heads like that. Conflict is always good in my book! :DD
Keep it up!
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I'm quite sure the runner pair who experiment on the the little ones are the same guys who left the runner herd. They are too immature to be explorers from another planet. They are kids playing scientists.
The story has a lot of little moments that I enjoyed, some for their humor, some for the emotions displayed. Harper, Petrie, Tory, Cera, Ms. Swimmer, Ducky; they all have these moments. These little moments go a long way in giving the characters depth. It's like a picture of a forest with every leaf taken care of (the forest is still small now, but it is growing). It must be that you have quite an experience as a writer.
Please go on. :) I don't visit this notch of the forum often, but when I do I will always share my thoughts with the author.
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It was a okay chapter I like it a bit. But it could be better.
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(Again thankyou all for the reviews, even the new ones :) Yes, jansenov, I've written for a hobby for a while. Nothing published yet but I've got stuff in the works to maybe send off one day :smile. For now just glad yall enjoy this little story and I'm of course having fun writing it. Ok, slight cliff hanger at the end of this chapter)
IX:Final Test and Hope?
On this, their second day of watching the bright circle rise while away from their families, Ridge, Harper and the twins gave grumbles as they slowly stood. Harper was already feeling it herself, so had no doubt Ridge did too, the monotonous...hopelessness and weariness that seemed to sink in as time passed and they still weren't out of this situation.
Again, Harper glanced at the bright circle, from beyond the walls, and thought. She had a lot to think on. Ridge had had his test or whatever it was before they got here, the twins yesterday, following logic and process of elimination, today would be her turn for whatever their captors had planned.
"You ok?" Ridge's question seemed to know what the little flyer's problem was and Harper blinked back tears partly for this reason and the fear coming on as she glanced to the older spiketail once more. There was more weighing on the little flyer's mind though.
"I didn't sleep well" was the first thing she informed Ridge of. The older kid shrugged, "Yeah, me neither".
Harper could tell he didn't get what she was saying, not that she'd expected that vague sentence to say it. "I...I saw my mom...in my sleep stories". There were looks of understanding pity from the others. "I wish I could just tell myself the way she looked was how I imagined she would, that I didn't...know...it's how she looked".
As Ridge and the twins looked curious, she went on, "My brother Petrie gets himself lost all the time with his friends, and one time it was even their fault" she half kidded, pointing to Dinah and Dana, who looked moderately guilty. Harper smiled at them to let them know she wasn't really getting onto them before letting out a sigh, "Each time, mom and the other adults would search everywhere but most times we just had to wait until they came back on their own. Sometimes it took a real long time and I'd notice every day that Petrie was gone the way Mom looked when she'd come home, and how she couldn't sleep straight through a night...it...it's been two days already! Two and a bit more...!".
Harper glanced back to Ridge, fearing she wasn't making sense anymore with this last bit, but the spiketail looked like he understood perfectly. "Yeah, no doubt my parents are worried too".
Dinah and Dana glanced to eachother and then nodded as well, "Grampy Threehorn prob'ly yelling at everybody" Dinah said.
"Yeah and he prob'ly will 'till we get back" Dana added. The twins tried to find a smile at this no doubt sort of funny scene, but couldn't.
"Yeah" Harper glanced down, for the sake of distraction agreeing with the little kids. She didn't miss how they had said until they got back, and tried to be as optimistic as the little kids could be. When you were older, it was harder, she noticed as she glanced up at Ridge's look and found even more worry over all this than she felt. He was nothing if not optimistic himself though, just not blindly so. No Ridge was strong even in to saying things he didn't full believe himself yet, but which he knew would keep up the other's faith. Harper was very grateful for it too, Ridge and his calm sense was what was going to get them through this.
"Well, we all up?". At the unwelcome voice of one of their captors, and as both walked into view, the kids turned as one to glare.
"Hey now, let's not start that again" the first of the runners said, "plus it's almost over". He watched as the children's faces showed guarded hope.
"You're...you're gonna let us go...soon?" Harper knew she was setting herself up for horrible disappointment and hated to be so dependent on these runners as to have her emotional state ride on what they said next, but she couldn't help it.
"Yes" the first runner nodded, "very soon our tests will be done and we'll be ready for the reveal, and you all get to be present for it!" he smiled.
The runner near him frowned, "But Veck, surly we can't...". Veck jabbed his brother, "Quiet Lars, I will have full proof with me when we give the speech, or do you want a repeat of what happened at the cliff face?" he asked.
Whatever this was in reference to, it apparently hadn't been a good thing as Lars frowned more, lowering his head, "No, I don't" he answered.
Even bringing up this memory himself seemed to bother Veck. "We'll show them, don't you worry, we'll show them" he muttered. He then turned back to the children now watching in slight confusion at this conversation. He smiled brightly again, "Well, shall we have the little flyer show us her tricks today?" he turned to Harper and she went from looking just confused and curious to sick again.
"What exactly are you gonna do?".
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Harper had been given stretches of time over the now two days when her wings would be unbound so that she didn't cramp or anything but she was always watched so that she didn't flap off and the time wasn't very long. It seemed she would be flight-able longer this time, though immediately after the vines were removed from her wrists a similar system was tied about one foot.
"Now" Veck said, "All we need you to do, if you would kiddo, is to fly up high enough for us to get a feel of your normal flight patterns but still see everything, so just go on up to the rock walls".
Harper glanced up at the rim of rock and sky and sky puffies above, "A-and then?" she asked.
"Listen close, here's the system" Veck said, "when we tug", he tugged down to demonstrate, "you come down. A lash along the line" he flicked the rope like a whip, and even if it didn't hit her Harper found she didn't like the jolt and probably wouldn't like it miles up in the air, "...and you fly the opposite direction of your current one. Two flicks", again he went on and showed her, though Harper frowned, feeling she didn't need that demonstration, she got it, "...and try a circular movement about the walls. Never go higher than the walls! and don't go getting any ideas!". Harper would have felt left out if he hadn't added this threat the others had received as well.
"Got it?" Veck asked. "Got it" Harper sighed. Slowly she flapped up and felt some relief at the act of flying yet again, though she knew she wasn't free. That almost made it worse, to fly up higher and higher, on just near the rock walls and see the expanse of ground about, yet still to know she couldn't escape.
Or could she? It was all so tempting to believe possible. Just tug extra hard and she'd be free, she could flap off and...and then what of the twins? What of Ridge? She...she could get help, go fly off and...she didn't even know where she would begin to look for help and what if the runners did something horrible to the others while she was gone, or worse she never found her way back?!
She looked down. From this height she'd reached, Ridge, the twins and their captors were mainly just specks recognizable by their shape but her heart sank as she realized that she truly was trapped, even had the vine not been there. There was a lash along the line and Harper realized they wanted her to begin with flying any direction, so she did, heading right. She was instantly given the lash along the line to change. Ok, apparently they wanted her to start with left for some reason.
It was all so annoying, especially as every time a lash was delivered along the line, Harper felt she would lose her balance and falter out of the sky. The lashes of two to signal circles were doubly worrying and by halfway through this exercises she was very tempted to brave their wrath and fly down to ask if maybe there was another way to do this.
As she flew, and almost to put her mind to something, anything, else but her predicament, Harper glanced out about her, past the rock wall she was flying semi-level with but could still see over. For not the first time since this exercise started, the little flyer wondered at the runners even doing this. Before she'd only thought the thought at the back of her mind, but now she gave full attention to it and how she was very visible up here. Someone could easily see her. This thought caused more hope to flood in and Harper scanned about, almost willing for their to be some dinosaur about that she could try to get the attention of. All was desolate.
There was another lash and she went from circles to flying left again. She already understood that by the time she reached the other rock wall she would have to change directions and so the tugs to tell her to do this every time she did reach the wall were getting her even more annoyed and worried. She was going to fall! Already a few times she had found herself almost losing air and she thought she heard the others yelling at the runners to tell them this, but being this high she couldn't be sure.
Again, almost in more desperation the little flyer scanned her surroundings and...was that a figure, another speck...out...outside the wall?! Harper strained her eyes and tried to slow unnoticeably to give herself more time to watch. She was so almost wishing a form to be there that she couldn't tell but it could be real. It was either someone flying or maybe a ground walker on the far off ledge she was seeing.
Deciding to take a chance, and her hope not allowing for her to recall how it might get her and the others in trouble, Harper opened her beak to call out. She never got to call what she wanted. Veck had apparently noticed she was going slower and tugged to speed her up. Finally, what Harper feared would happen did, she lost her current and began to tumble down. Her cry turning into one of her falling and not anything verbal as she spiraled down towards the ground.
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So updated are already slow with this just as I had to write a few chapters ahead of what I've updated to make sure I'm taking the story how I want.
With that and the fanfic voting, I'm probably going to put this story on hold until after that so that I don't get ahead of my readers who will no doubt be reading and reviewing the entries, and especially with my next chapters all that's revealed is better taken in chapter by chapter.
So that's looking like the plan but I just wanted to tell my readers that so they dont' think I gave up. :)
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Thanks! :DD I do apologize for my lack of reviews of late, but it's as you've said. I've been going over a lot of the submitted fanfics in the awards section lately, and though I HAVE been meaning to review this, if you couple my reading of everyone else's stories, plus all the things I have to do outside the forum, I haven't unfortunately found the time yet to sit down and give your two latest chapters a good read through. I WILL get to them, it just might take me a bit, so thanks for being patient and understanding. :)
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Yeah, thanks for the patience, bud! I was never good at that... :lol
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Yeah, no worries I understand guys. And thanks for getting what I was honestly saying about just being helpful with it. I was afraid it might come off as all "no one's reviewing" pouting when I don't feel like that at all, as I said, understandable and if and once I get to 100 posts or whatever the limit is I'll give some of the fanfics my own reviews and reads.
I read the rules and you have to have been here longer than a month and have more than 100 posts. I thought I was out on both counts but after checking I'm just a bit shy of post count ;)
Hmm, should I just go do random forum stuff :lol
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I forgot I never reviewed this chapter :unsure: I have read it though.
And I understand about you wanting to put this on hold. I'm putting my fiction on hold as well, so I can read others fiction and write complete reviews of them. Now, I WAS waiting for you to finish this story so I could write a review for it for the Fanfiction Awards, but since you're holding it off till after, I'll go ahead and write a review based on what you have. THAT'S why I didn't review earlier, I was waiting for you to finish it :DD
I'll try to write a review for this fic for the awards sometime today.
And about getting 100 posts, Just go find some topics your interested in and leave comments. I mean, don't just make random posts to get there :lol I'm sure you can make 27 more relevant post pretty fast. Idk, you could post more in that flyer's RP, or there's some fridge or hobbies topics you could leave what you like/ are interested in, or your thoughts on things.
EDIT: OH wait, it's not even submitted yet :lol Are you going to submit it to Mumbling?
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OK, finally caught up! :DD Well it looks like the tests are still just as dangerous as ever :p I do like the interaction you had between Ridge's father and Pterano, and Pterano choosing to bow out of the decision to take his path. He's showing a lot of maturity in this, but also harboring some troubles within him as well. It has the potential to get explored further on.
Plus well... cliffhanger for Harper, there. :p
I know it's on hold, but looking forward to its resumption. :)
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(Ok, I did tell myself anytime after the 16th I would start updating again, and, well it is the night of the 16th...I understand if my readers are still reading through submitions for the awards and obviously I've by now answered that, no, I decided not to submit this unfinished to the fanfic awards.
But here's the next chapter anyway! and I'm back to regularly updating going off what seems to be the pace of reading, though no rush at all guys honest :DD)
X: Out of the Woods Yet?
From the moment that cry of a young flyer falling out of the sky sounded out, Petrie recognized it and the falling form in a heartbeat. He would know both the sound and sight anywhere, having caused all of his siblings to fall out of the sky enough times during practice for the Day of the Flyers. Harper's falling form looked a bit off this time though, her wings seeming next to her body and not out, which could be very bad indeed.
Either way, right as Pterano had thought he noticed something off near a section of rocks, and turned to tell the ground walkers of this, the small flyer next to him got a determined look on his face and darted off before explaining to anyone.
"Petrie! Come back!" he heard his uncle's cry but didn't heed it, continuing to flap over with all he had. He noticed Guido right beside him as he flew over closer to the rock wall and then, tucking his wings, made for a dive to catch up to Harper's falling form quicker. The little flyer did a pretty impressive leveling out and then caught his sister/let her fall straight onto him. The latter seemed a better description since to catch her would have implied they both stopped once he'd done so, but this wasn't the case. Instead Petrie felt his sister and a whole mess of vines collide with him and then the both of them continued on down towards the ground, nothing accomplished except perhaps a slight slowing of the fall.
Just as Petrie went to scream, both flyers were rammed into yet again by a heavier object, Guido, who was more successful in knocking them both into a tumble rather than plop as they all three hit the ground. It took a moment for any of the three to fully register what had happened. Harper registering the fact that she wasn't dead and the presence of the boys, while they in turn registered that they had landed in a tangle of vines which they now extracted themselves from to stand. For a moment Petrie and Guido stared at the section of vines they'd each taken up to step out from under.
"Petrie! Guido!" Harper's happy cry snapped their attention back down to her and Petrie now saw the reason for Harper falling without her wings out, the vines had somehow entangled all about her in the fall. Clearly it was lucky the boys had come to the rescue when they had. They helped her up and out of the mess and then Petrie wasted no time in next giving his sister a hug.
"Me sorry, me so sorry me yell" Petrie said, next stepping back and looking at Harper, "me been so worried me not get to say that".
A smile came to Harper's face and she moved forward to hug Petrie herself, "Me too" was all she said, but it didn't even begin to scratch the surface of what at least having this much of her family back after she'd felt she'd never see anyone again meant. A bit reluctantly, since this moment was safe and she didn't want to lose that for worse, Harper made herself step back and now noticed Guido as well.
"And thanks to you, Guido, for also saving me" she smiled.
The gilder grinned and kicked at the greenfood on the ground, "Just...returning the favor" he said; after all Petrie and all his siblings had plucked him and Tricia out of fast water first.
Ridge and the twins rushed up. "Harper! Are you ok?" the spiketail asked.
"Yeah, fine" the flyer answered, "Thanks to my brother, Petrie and good friend, Guido" she next both explained and introduced with a wing on either of the boys' shoulders. She next went on to explain to them too, "This is Ridge. The runners took him too".
"Runners?" Petrie and Guido glanced to her and then Ridge and the twins. Harper hadn't been aware they weren't that caught up.
"Like the normal kinds of runners or the more...colorful ones?" Guido asked. The broad term was used for more than one kind of two footer sometimes.
Before Harper could answer, the two runners in question appeared. "Well, what do we have here?". Harper found herself more bold that she would have told you she was, just from knowing what these two were like and suddenly becoming convinced she wasn't going to let them anywhere near her brother or their friend. She frowned and stood in front of the two boys.
"It's the colorful ones..." Guido muttered, glancing over at Petrie as they both let their minds try to piece this together but both not liking what they came up with when they did.
Petrie frowned, "They probably not...".
"Hey! Quiet back there!" Veck snapped, eyes traveling over all the kids as he tried to figure out what to do with this next development. It wasn't exactly a problem, just as long as this didn't lead to them being found out before...
"I see an entrance this way!" as what sounded like a very grown spiketail said this, Veck turned, thoughtful scowl on his face. Beside him, his brother, Lars, looked more nervous.
"The spiketail's family, they've...".
"Shut up!" Veck reached over to clamp a hand over his brother's mouth. He kept staring at the opening, his mind seeming to work in quick succession, trying to figure out a way out of this. Sure, eventually these kids would all get to go home, but timing was crucial in this! What to do? Hide the kids? Not enough time.
"Come on!" Veck motioned to his brother and started towards the opening. With slower steps, not sure if what he thought Veck had come up with would work, Lars followed. "We're gonna seal the opening" Veck made sure to keep his voice down, "we've got a somewhat long tunnel to do it in, help me with these rocks!" he began to roll one.
Ridge had been staring at the opening, thinking as well. He knew the voice of that spiketail that had called out. It was his father, just on the other side of that tunnel...if he could get through before the runners sealed it...yes. What were they going to do once he was with his whole herd? It wasn't like he would leave the others, they would come with him in the dash too. They'd all make it to freedom where they couldn't be touched!
The spiketail glanced back at the others, "I've got a plan, get ready".
Harper instantly realized how changed something about the spiketail's look was. The hope and longing of being this close was too much for him, as it had been for her, he was about to act very recklessly. "Ridge...no" she reached over to put a wing on his shoulder. The little flyer didn't even explain, wasn't even sure if she could, how she knew it wouldn't work and was a bad idea.
She didn't have to. The quiet, worried look he found the flyer giving him was enough to cause Ridge to think and give up his plan. He sighed.
"Hey, no worries" Guido spoke up, "We're the rescue party! And the rest of the rescue party is right over there in giant number! What are they gonna do?".
"Guido..." Petrie caught his friend's attention, "They same kind of runners". The gilder frowned as he realized where Petrie was going with this. Oh yeah, by the pieces the two had put together, these two runners were probably the lost ones of the runner herd that had been with them. Sure the other runners seemed nice, but...how would this all lay once they were reunited?
"Same kind of runners? What do you mean?" Harper turned to them to ask.
Petrie gave a nervous smile, "We maybe bring help or maybe more trouble. Not sure which now" he said. Harper and the others looked confused. Before anyone could say more, all of their attention was drawn back to the entrance by the eruption of a commotion. With a smash and roar, Ridge's father burst through one of the blocking rocks with his tail, advancing on the two-footers he noticed putting it up.
The two runners had just backed up in shock when another cry sounded. "Veck! Lars!" the matriarch of the runners rushed forward to quickly embrace her sons. Her mate rushed up as well. Now noticing the similarities he should have before, Ridge's father paused as the others of the searching herd entered the clearing as well.
Seeing one of the members of this herd, Harper side-glanced over to Petrie. "Uncle Pterano...?" she breathed. Her brother smiled gladly like he'd personally found their relative himself.
"Auntie Cera!" before any of the older kids could stop them, Dinah and Dana rushed over towards where their aunt stood with her other friends and the two adults. The runners' distraction could be their cover though and Ridge and Harper only glanced to each other briefly to verify that they both thought it could work, before they, along with Petrie and Guido rushed over as well for what could be their only opening.
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What a fantastic chapter right there.It was very well written. I loved how you put it together. I'm looking forward to the next chapter you will make. It was epic.
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Well that was pretty short and intense. :yes I liked how Petrie and Guido really shone there, rushing out to save Harper. And then the adults broke in and the "cavalry" arrived, though now it's a little up in the air if Veck and Lars's parents are really OK or not. They seemed fine before but... I guess I'll have to wait and see. :)
And them making a break for it was a good idea. Left off with a nice cliffhanger and got me looking forward to the next bit. :)
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Yeah, nice chapter. I really liked the uncertainty in this chapter, with Petrie not knowing if it really was a good idea bringing that herd along. Don't really know how the next chapter will play out, which is great! I'm waiting to see how these different groups are gonna interact.
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(Alright, don't want to leave you all in suspense too long ;) So, here it is, Veck and Lar's parents true colors as well as their sons...)
XI: Judgement
Three sets of reunions hit the herd of searchers at the same time. Each punctuated by relief but coming out in a different way.
"I am gonna kill you two when we get home!" Dinah and Dana both giggled in happiness as what their Aunt Cera really said by this wasn't lost on the two little kids. Ridge's father wasn't so covering with his relieved emotions, nor was his son. All while being the oldest of the group of kids, Ridge's demeanour had been strong and capable, for them. Now, finally, he let out the tears of his hidden worry as he nuzzled against his father who soothed him in relief of his own.
It had never been a secret to such an observant hatchling as Harper, their Uncle Pterano played favorites. Probably unintentionally, but still he did, and Petrie was it. Of course, even without their mother's pressure, he tried to be fair to all his nieces and nephews, but still Harper actually didn't expect much as she darted over to land near Pterano.
What she got wasn't overly exuberant either, but it was stunning in it's own way. "Harper. Are you alright, child?" Pterano sighed, simply bending and laying a hand along her shoulder, but with a more open look than she'd ever seen from him and a small smile of relief. She'd never put much focus into trying to pull attention from her uncle, but now, at that look, she felt unexpected comfort flood over her.
"Yeah...I'm fine" she found a smile, "Thanks to Petrie and Guido".
Pterano of course didn't let his "favorite nephew" go without a proud smile. "Yes, I must say, while horribly worrisome for this old flyer to witness, that was quite well done, Petrie. Both on your end and your little glider friend's" he turned to give a nod to Guido, who just shrugged off the attention again.
Bending nearer his niece and nephew, Pterano took up both of their wrists, preparing something else to say, when the contact on her end caused Harper to flinch with a small cry of pain. Instantly both Pterano and Petrie glanced to her and Pterano glanced down to inspect the wrist he held, frowning deeply as he did so.
Petrie gasped and, while seeing for herself the spots on both wrists where all but two days of binding had rubbed them sore, Harper glanced aside trying to come up with some way to excuse it away. Pterano wouldn't let her do that though. "Harper, what happened?".
The hatchling turned back to face him and found her own strength finally falling as she let her tears come. She still tried to cover though. "I--it's nothing--" sniffling, she tried to regain control, "I was just...tied...up for a bit. I...just so I couldn't fly away...nothing...". Pterano's frown grew, as if the vines hadn't done enough damage almost causing the unthinkable to happen but for Petrie thankfully noticing the situation ahead of everyone else. Cera was noting the extent of the twins cuts and bruises as well.
"Mother! Father!" seeming on a type of cue, every one's attention was drawn over to Veck and Lars as the two runners now stood before their herd, looking rather pleased. It was Veck who had cried out, voice full of pride and triumph, "No longer will your future heirs of our fine herd be called inferior!" Veck went on, "We have unlocked the tricks and traits that make a spiketail, threehorn and flyer's defenses what they are! Soon we will show that insolent threehorn that even those outside of the main five known kinds are worthy to be recognized! With the skills of three of the five at least we will beat him and prove our herd better and above the known five even, since we can match any kind!".
Beside Veck, on the rock this speech was being given from, Lars shrugged, "We still don't know exactly how we're going to fly, but we're working on it".
Veck frowned over at his brother, "Lars...you're ruining this...".
As the full plan came out, in the last thing Harper would have thought to think up, she glanced over at Ridge who had apparently known all along that this was their captives' angle. While scowling at the two runners, Ridge noticed her look and shrugged, "I told you, crazy".
In silence everyone else took in this news. Veck and Lar's mother just stared at her sons. Her mate doing the same. Slowly, she was the first to turn towards the herd of seekers they had aided who now stood there with their reunited young ones and a deep frown creased her brow as she put together what the children being here and her sons' words meant. A stoic look came to her mate's face as well as he looked back. Both faced their sons.
"Veck..." the matriarch breathed, "you don't mean to tell me...".
"You kidnapped and tortured these young ones!" while the boys father didn't yell, his voice boomed about the rock walls.
Veck and Lars looked taken aback. It was the oldest, Veck, who spoke first. "I...kidnap? Torture?!" he sounded shocked at these words being put to them. "We were going to return them, soon even, and let them be present when we made our announcement we just made. They have been invaluable in showing us how their kinds do what they do".
With a start, Cera growled and made forward to probably attempt pinning the runners to the wall. Littlefoot stopped her though before going back to listening in shock along with the others to all of this as well. Ridge's father and Pterano were still, letting this sink in.
There were mumbles from within the runner's herd. The advisor, the one who had seen the two boys last before they took off, frowned and shook his head. "I told you two, I told you before you ran off, not to pay any mind to what that lone threehorn said. We have never had to prove ourselves!".
The patriarch of the herd held a hand out to pause him, still just staring at his son. Slowly he turned to face the herd of others they had traveled here with. "Companions. Children" he nodded to both, yet lumped Littlefoot, Cera, Spike Ducky and Petrie in with "companions". At "children" his gaze took in Ridge, Harper, Dinah and Dana specifically and held eye contact with them, "I apologize for my sons' actions".
"Apologize!". Astonished, Veck made to walk forward from the rock yet with the swiftest speed probably ever seen of any runner, his father turned to face him, "Stand! Back!". Both runners were still. The small valley grew quiet. Minutes seemed to stretch on and it seemed none breathed, especially not of the runners.
Yet still the children, adult spiketail, and Pterano could see the faces of the runners clearly. The patriarch closed his eyes. Beside him his mate gazed at her sons in sorrow. Finally the lead male opened his eyes to face his sons. "Veck. Lars. Runners in standing for leading this herd, and who should hold the values there in required. Have you any words to say in your favor now? To me? To those you've hurt?".
As slow reality of what was exactly going on came upon the two runners, Lars frowned in shock and worry and Veck's shocked look slowly turned to defiance. "You don't mean..." Lars started forward, but Veck held out a hand to stop his brother. Eyes never leaving his father's he gave his answer.
"I...defended this herd" he said evenly, "Defended it even as we were ridiculed for being 'just runners'. The kind that goes through these far walking herds forgotten. For us more colorful kinds, whispered about, but otherwise not given the position of the Bright Circle!".
The matriarch slowly shook her head as her mate's frown grew. "Veck...please..." she seemed to plead.
"I take back nothing!" Veck's voice now echoed about like his father's had. Silence fell once again.
The patriarch breathed in evenly then spoke, "You...deny wrong doing then?" he asked.
"Lars..." the boy's mother now glanced to her other son, trying to get some sense in through him. Although frowning in worry, Lars glanced to his brother.
"We...we were doing good. It was for the herd" his voice was less sure, not so defiant, but he stood his and his brother's ground.
"Very well..." The male herd leader's voice seemed nothing but a breath of pain, yet he stood straight once more and put more strength, any and all he had, into his voice as he went on, "Veck. Lars. Once heirs of the herd, by actions both immature, selfish and hurtful you have shown yourself unworthy of taking your status in our herd. Shown yourselves unworthy of the herd even".
From where they watched this talk, the children and Ridge's father were frozen. Not sure what to think or feel. This was especially true of Pterano as he struggled with all that was going through him. He knew first hand what it was like to stand and be convicted. The boys' grief stricken but silent mother, struggling through this but not speaking out for knowing what crimes did lay on her family, might very well have been Tory back during his own trial for immature, selfish and hurtful deeds.
Compassion and empathy wanted very much to well up from him towards these runners, but then...Pterano glanced down to Harper once again. Even to Petrie. These two runners carelessness had already caused so much and almost cost much more. Petrie had become tangled in the vines too, Pterano had seen it once he'd been close enough to realize what his nephew had charged after. Had their glider friend not turned the momentum of the fall into a tumble both Petrie and Harper would be...well it wasn't able to be fully thought on!
Yet, finally, Pterano understood the angry cries that had been sent out against him by the family members left behind of that herd he'd mislead. The cries for exile, even for death, during his trial finally resonated. He knew what extreme worry did to your compassion sense, and didn't know what to feel.
Standing within his own trial, Veck's eyes never left his father's as the verdict went on. "It is...there for, my duty, as leader of this herd to see justice served and..." the patriarch paused in his sentence.
"You've come this far, Father!" Veck shot out, bitterly spitting out the title, "Say it! Finish what you began!".
"Banish you from the herd" the patriarch went on, "...indefinitely". His silent mate finally broke a bit, turning her head into the comfort of his shoulder. He put an arm about her even as he gazed at his sons in unfathomable sorrow.
"Fine!" Veck shot out, "but this isn't over! I'll show you, I'll show you all!". Pterano flinched at the youth's cry, for it just as well may have been his own prideful promises after a similar fate had hit him that first time. Veck leapt down from the rock and darted off. Lars giving one more glance to his parents before darting off after. The patriarch slumped in, hugging his mate close as she cried, leaking tears down his own cheeks. But for this, all was silent.
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Well it seems the parents took a stand, but their children aren't backing down either. I wonder what sort of dark revenge they'll be plotting now. XD :unsure: I liked the contrast and comparison with Pterano, as it reminded him of his own experiences with being outcast. :)
Well, everyone's safe again, for now... but somehow I don't think this is the end of the story yet.
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Yeah, seems like the story could go on for quite a bit longer. Hmm, I wonder how involved Pterano is going to be in this story now? Is he going to try to talk some sense into those youngsters? You know, like keeping them from causing a tragedy like he did? That would be really interesting!
Anyway, great chapter! and I look forward to what happens next!
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Thanks guys :) Well I'll tell you this, we're nearing the end of THIS story, though I do have a sequel in the pondering stages since, yeah, can't leave Veck and Lars just running off and causing no trouble.
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Alright. I'm looking forward to this sequel to this awesome story. Can't wait for it.
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Oh okay. So this story's gonna end with the promise of an exciting sequel? I guess that works XD.
I would of liked to review this for the Fanfiction Awards, but I guess there's always next year for that ;)
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Yep. I know. I bet the sequel will be awesome.
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(Well someone pointed out ;) that yeah, since when do these kids get to just walk back to the Great Valley no extra problems...well it's probably happened sometimes, but not now :D Unfortunately. So warning of violence and death in this chapter. No named characters but still, yeah, this sharptooth's kinda hard core. Also, as said, well this is the last actual chapter, though I do have an epilogue afterwards)
XII: Proof of Concept
As the runners slowly walked back over towards the others, no one was sure at first what to say. Well mostly no one. "You are all welcome to come with us to the Great Valley, you are". It was sweet little Ducky's voice that said this, gazing right at the matriarch of the runner herd and, even for one so young, seeming, at least as far as she could, to understand the immense grief that now swept through the regal but vulnerable female.
She gave a smile, placing a hand on the swimmer's back, "Thankyou, dear one" her voice was soft with grief. She glanced to her mate. "We should at least escort you back" was his answer. Thus with it decided, they all headed out away from the small enclosed clearing and Harper wished to never see the spot again.
The gang and Guido traveled together in about the middle of the herd, of course, and the other kids right near them since Dinah and Dana seemed to want to stay so close to Cera that they almost tripped her up quite a few times. For once she didn't get onto them though, just sighed, shook her head and continued on. Petrie, also for once, didn't ride but rather flew near where Harper was. This left Ridge walking near the other kids as well, but any awkwardness was soon pushed aside and he and Littlefoot fell to talking.
"So, you're friends of Harpers?".
Littlefoot looked shy as to how to answer this, "Well...more her brother Petrie's friends and he came after her and we came after him" the longneck answered, "not that we wouldn't guard and protect any young one from the Great Valley, I mean...".
"No worries, I understand" Ridge laughed. They walked on for a bit and then Ridge went on, "I hear the rest of my herd's at the Great Valley?". Littlefoot nodded. "Well, knowing them they will probably want to stay" the spiketail went on, "is it really as great as it's made to sound?".
Littlefoot smiled, "Beyond that" he answered.
"No I believe Beyond would be where we are now" Ridge kidded. After such trials and worry, all the children were finding easy laughter.
"Well we think you should stay, Ridge" Harper threw out for what it was worth, "don't we kids" she smiled to Dinah and Dana, urging them on. The little kids smiled and nodded. "Yeah, you should stay!" Dinah said.
"Well I guess it's been decided" Ridge's father laughed, "I'll inform the herd leader of how he's been outvoted by children when we reach the Great Valley" he smiled.
"What about you and your own?" Pterano turned to the runners curiously. "I can attest that the Great Valley is as great a paradise if not better then words make it sound, do you feel you'll be called to stay as well?".
The matriarch smiled as she caught what Pterano was asking, he was finding out whether or not the only herd of ground walkers he'd found in a while to accept him would be abandoning him or not. She wasn't sure why, if the two young ones were his own sister's hatchlings as said, and if his sister did live in the Great Valley, he didn't as well, but it wasn't really a matter she felt she should pry into. Instead she just answered the question put to her.
"I...am not sure of our own plans" she said, "as you've no doubt picked up on, we are a bit of a mystery to most and thus looked at critically a bit".
Pterano nodded, not sure if this was a yes or no, but moving on. He wasn't actively scanning as he should be as the unofficial scout of the herd, but being the only adult flyer he was flying higher up and thus spotted movement up ahead of them. Through a pass they were about to go through, something darted from the right over to the left. It was just a blur but...something felt off and Pterano felt a warning sense flare up. "E-Everyone hold!" he used a normal level of voice and whispered for some reason as yet unknown to himself even.
"Oh, well..." Harper was in the middle of what was probably a defense of those in the Valley to the matriarch, when she was cut off by her uncle's words and the small herd pausing.
"What is it?" Ridge's father asked. Pterano frowned, about to say what he was thinking, how he didn't know, when the answer slowly stepped out.
For most sharpteeth, stealth and speed was their vital weapon; few would casually reveal themselves to a herd. But this small but effective hunter knew where his skills lay and knew the intimidation factor those smart enough to know of him and his kind felt. He smirked in pride and satisfaction as he stepped out and watched the frowns of uncertainty and some fear come over the flatteeth's faces.
The word that held all his power was soon enough whispered out, by Ridge's father, "Spitter..." he backed a step or two up.
"Get around the children, now!" the matriarch whispered to her mate, who was already moving with knowing what he must do and why. He motioned to his herd and they followed him in forming a ring about the nine children and Guido. Pterano flew down closer, mind working through what to do. He'd heard the word and it was one he'd hoped with all his soul had been just an untrue myth of the Mysterious Beyond. Apparently not. Apparently these devils existed.
"W-What's a Spitter?" Harper asked, glancing up to her uncle who had always known everything about everything before. His look was grim and he closed his eyes though, "Sharptooth...with...with a horrible defense that...".
"Look out!" Ridge's father called in warning to the advisor of the runners on the right of the blockade. A hiss came from the sharptooth as a small frill, looking no more than a slight coloration about the neck, flared and...Harper (along with most of the other children) gasped as she caught sight of something her mind couldn't fully process at first. A black liquid came from the sharptooth's mouth and flew across the air before hitting the advisor, the pain causing him to falter outside the protective circle of his fellows. Most, if not all of the kids closed their eyes and glanced aside, but even if they avoided the sight, the cry of the attack to a paralyzed victim sent a chill down each of their spines.
Satisfied he had one victim, the spitter wheeled about to face the herd once more. Suddenly, as he seemed to gear up for another spit to take down more, a blur of blue and green leapt and spun from the side, the matriarch runner delivering a kick straight to the sharptooth's side that sent him skidding down off his feet and across the dirt. Despite the dangerous situation, the kids were impressed. The spitter stopped, on his side, and Ridge's father, seeing an opening, rushed, tail up and aimed his spikes down to finish the sharptooth. He hit only dirt as the spitter rolled out of the way and to his feet though, hissing angrily in a vocalization only before crouching, red and green coloration that denoted a deadly spit appearing again about the neck as he hissed.
"Dad!" Ridge cried in shock and worry as his father prepared to parry. Just as the spitter let lose his acid, though, he found himself reeling again and the shot flew harmlessly past the spiketail by mere inches. As the sharptooth fell over to his side, Ridge's father glanced over and noticed Pterano flapping there after having knocked the spitter down.
The flyer immediately turned his address to the matriarch, "Madam I feel getting out of this pass may be imperative so...".
"Already on it" she didn't even have to hear all he would have said. "Forward" she directed both her runners, the children and adult spiketail.
"Come on" Littlefoot and Ridge both turned and said, giving their typical encouragement needed to get the others moving even before they could consider freezing. Ridge seemed hesitant himself though, along with Petrie as both kept an eye in back of them on their relatives as Ridge's father and Pterano stayed.
"They'll be good, they'll be good, go!" Harper said, despite her own worry, and again in that quiet form of good judgment she wasn't even aware she had that had first paused Ridge from recklessness back in their captivity and now keep him and Petrie moving off from a situation they couldn't help in and would only endanger themselves if they tried.
The spitter stood and shook himself, growling lowly as he noticed majority of his intended other victims escaping. Pterano flapped there covering the exit and then noticed the spiketail wasn't leaving.
"She meant you too!" he called.
"No way, I'm not leaving you to face a spitter alone!" Ridge's father said.
"I can fly away and you ground walkers can't, so you're the one's who must go" the words left Pterano's beak before he could take stock of them.
It is not my fault they couldn't fly away is it?!
Pterano hadn't even realized how...far separated that old excuse and this statement on ground walkers and flyers he gave now were, until then. Neither that or how his actions, now, in this pass, were such a far cry from...then as well.
"Well then put those wings to use!" Pterano snapped back to the moment at hand as the spiketail delivered a hit of his tail to the spitter as the sharptooth had tried to gear up for a shot at the distracted flyer.
Pterano gave an abashed smile of thanks to the spiketail after his own lapse in attention.
"Come on!" the patriarch runner, now through the pass with the others, called, "hurry, we can cut off the pass with a rock all set to roll". Both Pterano and the spiketail beat wings and feet to out speed their pursuer and thankfully the spitter wasn't up on flattooth language enough to get the warning ahead of time, so his charge was a few seconds delayed. All the seconds the runners needed to push the rock over and block the sharptooth's pursuit.
They heard the spitter give a few more screeches, but it soon became clear that he was cut off, and he soon ceased his noise, probably moving on to the one victim he had managed to secure, the grim thought hit some. They all still moved off a distance or so before taking breaths. Both Ridge and Petrie rushed over to all but hug the life out of their relatives as they were safe. Harper was relieved Pterano was alright too, of course, but let her smile say this. That and it held a look of pride in him that Pterano had never seen before. Petrie was starting to get that smile too. It was the look you got...when you deserved it.
Both Pterano and the spiketail glanced to each other. Now with their eyes opened a bit, they felt an apology to each other for their slight disagreement a day or so ago was in order, but actions speaking louder than words and all, they'd sort of just taken care of that.
"Ok..." Guido sighing and seeming to pass out on the floor broke the tension, "I can live without ever seeing one of those again!". There were quiet chuckles of agreement as Harper and Petrie helped the glider back up.
(Alright I know you probably all know this by now, but in case you're curious, yes I was using a Dilophosaurus of Jurassic Park fame and skills for the Spitter sharptooth. I didn't find any material on them being fan integrated before so I just came up with what they would probably be called. :DD)
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This was a very great chapter you made here. It was well worth the read. It was great.
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(Alright, I should go on and give you people the epilogue so that I can get on to the sequel aye? :DD)
Epilogue
As the Great Valley finally came into view, Littlefoot and most of the others rushed off to inform their parents of their safe return, with the taken children even.
"It seems" the matriarch said softly to Ridge and his father, "my mate and I will be needed to give your herd and the two threehorn's and young flyer's families the tale of their trials".
"You don't have to" the spiketail said, "we'll tell them".
"No" the matriarch gave a soft smile, "my sons are implicated, you'll forgive me, I know you would not insult them but...".
Ridge's father nodded, understanding, "Better you speak ill of them, as gently as you can, than someone else". Both the runners nodded.
"Of course" the spiketail lead them off towards his herd.
Harper and Petrie were of course eager to let their mom know they were alright as well, but first both hatchlings had a mission of their own as they pulled and tugged, trying to convince Pterano to step through into the Great Valley as well.
"Nothing doing!" the flyer finally pulled lose of their grips, "Why if my breath so much as hit any part of that Valley as of this moment, Old Mr. Threehorn would be here in two seconds flat to kick my tail from here to our old nesting ground!". Despite their losing out, Petrie and Harper giggled at this.
Pterano knelt down nearer them, "I've put you two, the others and your mother through enough" he went on more seriously, "I'll serve my term full and fair so that there may be nothing baring me once I am allowed back". Harper let out a sigh but smiled and nodded. Petrie frowned and darted over to give Pterano another hug.
His uncle wrapped his wings about him and stayed like that for a bit before setting his nephew back. "Now, let's not go through this again" Pterano smiled sadly, "the Cold Times are fewer than last time I was assuring you I'd be fine" he pointed out.
"Not few enough" Petrie hugged him again. Finally though, the young one let his uncle place him back down on the ground just outside the entrance.
"Don't go getting any ideas you" a voice spoke and all three flyers turned to notice Topsy having come over as guard of the gate for the Great Valley apparently.
"Ah" Pterano grimaced, "for someone who isn't fond of my presence, you sure put a great deal of attention into realizing when I'm about".
"Some dinosaurs get aches before sky water, my stomach turns whenever you just happen to be near" was Topsy's answer, level glare aimed at the flyer who just rolled his eyes.
It was Harper, this time, who spoke up for Pterano, "But Mr. Threehorn, he saved Cera and the twins. From a Spitter even".
Topsy grumbled, "These so called Spitter sharpteeth do not exist and...".
Three flyers adamantly shook their heads no, that such creatures did in fact exist!
"Ask the runners, they can tell you too!" Harper went on.
Topsy looked stunned and then turned to Pterano again, "Of course, it would be tied in with you, those freaks entering the Valley!".
Harper of course had known by now what the second of the Great Valley Council was like, but she looked shocked at this and then frowned, "They're not...!" she'd started forward to defend the runners, the matriarch already having earned her respect by her own actions whatever her sons had done.
"Now Harper" Pterano gently paused the hatchling, "We mustn’t be too hard on Mr. Threehorn, after all he can't help what he is".
"Wh--why you!" Topsy seemed not able to settle on what he wanted to do to the flyer. He started forward, but Pterano paused him.
"Please, don't strain yourself thinking up something to do to me, I shan't be staying that long". He glanced back down to do justice and give Harper a farewell too, especially after the child had incurred Mr. Threehorn's frustration to defend him as she had.
"Not that I don't appreciate you being kind enough to stick up for your old uncle like that, Harper" he told her, laying a hand on her shoulder, "but try not to let Old Threehorn here bait you into too many petty arguments on my account that would sully that good nature".
Whether nor not Harper got all of what he said, she got enough of it and smiled and nodded, "Ok".
"See you two soon" Pterano gave his final promise before flapping up right as Tospy looked like he could stand his presence no longer. Satisfied with his job well done in keeping the flyer from a premature entrance at least, the threehorn grumbled to himself as he walked off.
Petrie and Harper watched him go then glanced to each other and laughed as they walked inside the Great Valley. "So...um" Petrie began, "This not mean you gonna be hanging around with Ridge hanging around me and friends, does it?". He'd already noticed the spiketail's own making friends with the rest of them.
Harper's smile grew and she shrugged, "I don't know, maybe, why? Are you saying you'd take off across half the Mysterious Beyond to find me but you don't want me hanging around you and your friends?" she asked.
"Uh huh" Petrie nodded. He said it so normally too that Harper paused and just stared at him. Then, she cracked a smile.
"Aw, well Petrie, it's not like I would be embarrassing and hug you to death" she said innocently, then, before her brother could defend himself, she launched at him to do just that, hug him tightly, knocking him to the ground.
She giggled trying to keep him down as Petrie struggled to get loose, "Ah, see, this why me need a break!" he cried.
Petrie's release came in the form of Harper suddenly recalling the rest of her family after a while. "Oh hey!" she sat back, "Mom still doesn't know we're both back! Come on, let's go tell her how you found me" she said.
"Ok" Petrie sat up, catching his breath from the strain of trying to get away from the hug attack, "but first me gotta tell you something".
"Yeah?" Harper asked.
"You it!" Petrie exclaimed, tapping her and then darting off. As he'd probably been counting on, Harper stood there stunned for a moment at Petrie starting up a tag game after telling her to keep her distance from him and his friends.
"H-Hey, no fair!" she darted after.
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OK, now that I'm finally caught up with the fanfiction awards, I can finally devote time to finishing this. :DD
Well, now I know how Ridge came to live in the Great Valley. :yes There was also a nice bit of redemption for Pterano there, during his battle with the spitter and supporting Ridge's father, especially when he told him to leave, as he couldn't fly away. XD
So yeah, this was a nice short story, and I think you did well in bringing it to its conclusion, though I'm willing to bet that Veck and Lars aren't done yet. :p Well I'm glad I'm all caught up, and I liked how this worked out. :)
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For numerous reasons, I will no longer be voluntarily reviewing chapters of fan fictions here. I believe that it’s not a good idea as far as I’m concerned. So unless someone specifically asks me to review his or her chapters, in which case I'll do my best to oblige, here is what I am going to do: I will be waiting until fan fictions are over and then review them as a whole. So here is my first one after reaching my decision:
The fan fiction called One of a Kind interestingly enough focuses on a sister of a main character. The author gave detail to a character so rarely seen. The story is about an argument between Harper and Petrie that indirectly results in her being kidnapped. Petrie blames himself and goes off looking for her, his friends following. She was taken, along with other children, both new and old, for research purposes. They go through a rough time until the captor’s herd, the gang of five, and Petrie’s uncle manage to find her and save all the kids. After a saddening split and a dangerous battle, they arrive back at the Great Valley where things aren’t what they used to be, but rather, are better for numerous characters.
The author creates a clever character foil between the antagonist (Harper) and her brother (Petrie). She pays attention to details and is more logical and responsible while Petrie ignores things (like in Through the Eyes of a Spiketail when he says, “Gutsy, gusty, what the difference?” in an indifferent tone) and tends to be very illogical (shown by his many fears that cause no harm throughout the series) and is very brash (the way he flies off in this story without a plan). Like with all foils, Petrie’s contrasting attributes help to highlight the main character. The irony of this foil is that Petrie goes on adventures and has poor travelling qualities, while Harper, who stays at home and plays, has the qualities of a great adventurer. This really helps to make this protagonist interesting.
The premise was very creative. The official The Land Before Time storyline established many reasons for villains to be present, such as wanting food, wanting revenge, wanting power, and so forth, but this story uniquely presents the plot of villains doing what they do for knowledge. They bring with them a lighthearted worry to the reader, as they are mean but not murderous, threatening but barely a threat, and serious but mild compared to most villains. The two runners were adults physically but youth mentally, making their crimes more of a mistake than an actually sin. They believed their actions to be right, even with the kidnapping, so Pterano, who later comes into the story, has more than one reason to see himself in these two.
The dramatic irony brought a fair amount of humor even though the misconception was never spelled out later. Pterano is treated well by his gracious host then vows to get revenge on her children without knowing it. The readers have knowledge beyond the characters, so the words in that scene have a different meaning than they do for the speakers. An old example of a time this was used was when Jacob in the book of Genesis told his uncle that if anyone stole his idle, he will die. Only the readers, outside of the culprit herself, knew it was his own wife! So there is a buildup established that makes the story gripping until the confrontation takes place.
The conflict of the story was very light for most of the story, and this made the read more relaxing. The two antagonists were going to return everyone, so other than any minor injuries the kids might’ve gotten, readers had no reason to fear. However, this suddenly got very dark when a legendary sharptooth attacked the group. Some readers may think this was a random fight scene added to make things more interesting and give some more action. That is not the case. The author clever used the battle to show a character’s transformation, Pterano. He recalled what he did last time he was in a situation like this- then did the exact opposite. It was great to see the author working on so many characters.
The story had great foreshadowing for a sequel to take place. Two children are removed from their family, banished (ironically, just like Pterano was who behaved just like them) and basically vowed that this wasn’t the end. As the future is hinted at, readers reach the heartwarming conclusion of the two most focused on characters whose argument started this, at least, their role in it. They are on even better terms than when the story began, and things end with a smile from readers as one mischievous starts a game with the other. Though never spelled out, one might imply from all that happened that Harper is not so jealous of Petrie’s adventures, having now seen how scary and dangerous they are instead of the fun and laughter she apparently thought them to be. Perhaps now she is glad she stays at home and plays.
The story was very gripping, from a fascinating plot, to likable and believable characters, to feeling so much emotion throughout. There were logical actions from characters and some illogical, so this really brought out the realism of thinking. It flowed very naturally, not leaving readers suddenly lost as to why the story got to a certain point. Even Pterano’s sudden appearance was smoothed into the story so naturally that this entire fan fiction can be seen as a straight line, not some mountainous area, and this allows the story to be understood very well and keeps why are things are happening clear. More tension builds up slowly so readers aren’t suddenly sent for a loop, and the climax was beautifully done, even though it was very heart wrenching. From beginning to end, the picture of what was going on was consistent.
However, there was some room for improvement. There were a lot of grammar errors, such as leaving out or adding a letter, making a run-on sentence, leaving out a comma, double punctuating, etcetera. Two words used that should not be in a dinosaur story were “people” and “heavens,” but this was very minor so served as almost no distraction. The grammar issues, on the other hand, were very common, so depending on the reader, this could really take the focus off the story and onto the mistakes. There was a contradiction near the very start. The narrator says that Harper did not throw Petrie, just gently set him down, but Petrie felt as though he was thrown. So it was established that he was set down, not thrown, further supported by the narrator saying that Petrie took it otherwise than how it actually happened. Then shortly afterwards, the narrator says Harper literally threw him. Another issue was that it was never specified what the title meant. Was it about Harper? The pair of runner siblings? The premise of the story? It was a nice-sounding title, but it leaves readers wondering why it was created in the first place.
Another thing that could have been improved was the contrast between Harper’s situation and all the others. What was going on with Harper was much more interesting than the other character scenes, so while not seeing what’s going on with Harper, Ridge, the runners, and so on, readers are more looking forward to getting back to her scene. The other characters mostly just walked and talked while Harper’s scene had intriguing villains who put the kids through trials. In other words, the appeal of her scene and all the others were unbalanced, leaving a sort of looking ahead to what was going on with her instead of simply enjoying every moment as it came.
In the end, readers are left with a very well-written story that while seemingly a bit rushed at some points, leaves them in awe and with emotions at how splendidly the author portrayed her creative and interesting plot. Readers can really feel for the characters, but not only that, relate to them. A lot of real life can be observed in this fiction. The author found a way to make every scene interesting enough to keep going and keep a sort of trance as readers wonder what’s to come of the victims, the captors, and the seekers. The antagonists were brilliantly created with similar but contrasting personalities that made their actions and dialogue unique and amusing. The story wasn’t very long, but it still managed to do a real number to the readers minds and hearts as it flowed from start to finish. To shed some fascinating light on a mostly-ignored character and be captivated by many instances of love, fear, courage, and more, one can read the heartwarming tale known as One of a Kind.