Wasn't your old Avatar a really good picture of Chomper and Ducky? Don't like the new one >_<.


Good pictures though - some days i wish i had artistic talent...

ROFL at your response...now can you see why I took it down?  

Well here I'll give the synopsis:

Ruby comes to the great valley with Chomper but gets bullied because the others don't like her. Eventually they pull a prank on her and she gets hurt. When she wakes up after getting hit in the head, a personality switch has occured and she decides to get revenge on her friends in an overly sadistic manner.

She murders, tortures, and causes chaos by letting sharpteeth into the valley but at the end Cera comes back from her supposed death and tells the others the truth and they get Ruby to confess - but only after the valley is full of Sharpteeth.


I think I really screwed up the beginning because I was angry, but at any rate since it wasn't up for long enough for anyone to see heres the ending:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chomper: <wakes up with a start> "AHHHHH!"
Ruby: "Chomper...whats going on? You being scared nearly scared me to death!
Chomper: "It was just...a sleep story..."
Ruby: <laughs> "Thats right chomper, your right here with me safe in the sparkling caverns."
Chomper: <catches his breath> "Wow thats a relief...it was so real it was like it happened"
Ruby: "I had a sleep story too...I was with my parents on my star day, I miss them"
Chomper: "Ya....I miss my folks too"
Ruby: "So what was yours about?"
Chomper: "Well...I...umm....don't wanna talk about it"
Ruby: "Thats fine too...what happens in your sleep stays in your sleep"
Chomper: <laughs>
Ruby: "I can't wait until we make it to the Great Valley and I can meet your friends!"
Chomper: <gulp> "Ya...me too..."

<end>

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the reason I decided to move it was because after reading it again (which I probably should have done in the first place) I realized just how horrible it actually was. Because of this barely anyone bothered to read it till the end, so I felt it was an unecessary stain on my writing style.

I'll upload it onto fanfiction.net after I'm done exams for anyone who is curious.

<................>

Petrie: "Maybe I try using smaller wieghts next time"

<Note:>

This thread has been out-sourced and removed to fanfiction.net

After some personal debate I have decided that it did not belong on the GoF website. I apoligize for any offence it may have caused.  To spoil the ending it turns out that it was just a dream that chomper had.

NOTE: This is purely just for fun and doesn't reflect my actual views of LBT - my brother thought it was funny and forced me to post it.



Littlefoot: "I wish my mother was alive again..."
Stone of Cold Fire:  "You know the rules ... I can't bring back the dead."
Littlefoot: "Mother f**ker"
Stone of Cold Fire: "Umm...I can't make people fall in love either."


Cera: "I wish I knew where my mother went...I haven't seen her since forever"
Stone of Cold Fire: "Ahh...she is in Dino heaven"
Cera: "WHAAAAAT!?!"
Stone of Cold Fire: "<Laughs> I'm just kidding!"
Cera: <Sigh of Relief>
Stone of Cold Fire: "Ya she actually went to hell..."


Spike: "I wish I could talk leaf-eater again...like in the fourth movie"
Stone: "What's that? I'm sorry I can't understand retard."

Ducky: "I wish spike could talk!"
Stone: "Wish granted"
Ducky: "Well Spike....talk!"
Spike: <English> "I say what a jolly good day it is to talk again!"
Ducky: "It didn't work! I understand him even less then before!"
Stone: <laughs maniacally>


Petrie: "I wish I was the best flier in the whole great valley!"
Stone: "Why should I even bother when I know your just gonna wish it back at the end of the movie after life becomes insuferable and you lose all your friends?"
Petrie: "Umm...because me want it now!"


Ruby: "I wish I didn't look like a chicken..."
Stone: "So what do you wanna look like...a PIG?" <laughs>
Ruby: "Well actually I was thinking..."
Stone: "New from the Colonel....chickin and TITS!"
Ruby: "WHAT? How dare you make fun of my animation flaws!"
Stone: "And trust me they are many..."
Ruby: <fumes>
Stone: "Face it bitch you don't belong here, theres only room for 5 in the gang."
Ruby: <cries and runs away>


Chomper: "I wish I knew if my parents were okay,"
Stone: "Oh I'm sure they are just fine kid..."
Chomper: "Why are you being so mean to everyone? I think Ruby is perminantly damaged,"
Stone: "Well you see the Universe...wasn't very kind to me on my way down"
Chomper: "Aww thats too bad..but your welcome in the great valley!"
Stone: "Really?"
Chomper: "Yep."
Stone: "Your the best little biter"

I think some people misinterpreted what I ment by spacing your lines out. I ment using proper paragraphs!

The main issue I was trying to address was solid blocks of text with no indentation.

Lately I have been delving into some of the fan-fics people have written and i'm quite impressed with the time and the passion that has gone into some of the works.

In your mind these works are quite vivid and real, but in ours we only know what you write onto the page so heres a few grammar related tips and tricks to make them easier to read:

1) Space out your text. Its a lot tougher to read your story when its chapters are composed of a solid 20 line block. You lose your place and often read lines over and over causing them to lose meaning!

2) Whenever a new character speaks or a new event occurs (say littlefoot speaks then a nearby rock falls) make a line break and start a new sentance. Having speetch all shoved into the main block of text makes it tougher to figure out whos speaking.

3) Try to keep character speetch in character...no matter how out of character they may be!  Hearing things like ["Wow the sun is hot today, im thirsty" said Petrie] are quite out of character as they don't sound like something they would say. Take some time and grasp the subtleties of their language and try it like this: ["The great circle hot today! It making me verrry thirsty!" said Petrie]

4) Bold your character names so they can be easily seen, or just simply try doing a story script style! Makes it easier to see who is speaking or to pick up the names of the dinos involved.


And now for a bit of a fun point:


5) Write in Chomper and Ruby please!!! The newest official Land Before Time lore has them in the gang unless you are doing a past adventure. (In that case feel free to leave them out and ignore me)


Thank you and keep up the good writing!

Metadude that is one cool picture...makes my Guardian Tank look like crap.