The Gang of Five
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A Painful Past

CybertronianBrony

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Okay, I am now working on a one-shot fanfic, and when it is done, you'll realize it's a bit short, and it might not please everybody. I am still trying to learn with my writing. Thanks for your understanding. Wish me luck on this.

Special thanks to Ducky123 for continuing to help me with my writing skills.



A Painful Past
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Littlefoot has a terrible memory that still invades him, and it won't leave him be. However, Ruby arrives to help him. Will she be able to cure Littlefoot and get rid of his terrible memory?


Ducky123

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Oh, you really decided to go for it, awesome!  :lol
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CybertronianBrony

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Yeah, I have to thank you for helping me in the process!

I think I might have finally finished the story! I'll proofread it a few more times to make sure it is good enough!


CybertronianBrony

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The story is now a collab by me and Ducky123! Thank you very much assisting me in the process! Couldn't have done it without you!


Ducky123

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Are you going to upload it soon? :)
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CybertronianBrony

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Here you go! I did the story while Ducky assisted me showing me how to improve, by checking some spelling errors, as well as adding a few sentences on his own! Once again, thank you so much, Ducky123! Couldn't have done it without you!


I hope you all enjoy!

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A Painful Past
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The Bright Circle started setting behind the rocky cliffs. Littlefoot looked at the sunset, having memories of when he was with his mother, defeating the vicious Sharptooth, and worked together with his friends to find the Great Valley. A bit of tears started to swell in his eyes. He really missed his mother.

Just then, Ruby arrived. She noticed Littlefoot in sadness. What could be wrong with him? Well, one thing's for sure, she couldn't leave her friend like that. She walked over to the longneck and looked at him in concern. "What's wrong, Littlefoot? You look upset, upset you look." Ruby asked to Littlefoot.

Littlefoot started to hear a sound, causing to suddenly snap out of his trance. He turned his head to his left and noticed the one who made the sound was Ruby. "Oh, hi, Ruby. What are you doing here?"

"I found you and you looked upset, so I had to see what was wrong," Ruby replied.

Littlefoot didn't want to tell his past to Ruby. His friends, Cera, Ducky, Petrie and Spike heard it before but he didn't want Ruby to hear the pain he went through. "Oh, it's nothing, Ruby. I'm okay."

Ruby got suspicious after that sudden calm expression. Was he hiding something? Or maybe he had to act that way because he had a horrible painful memory he'd never get through? Whatever it was, she had to help her friend, so she sat down beside Littlefoot and began to comfort him.

"It's okay, Littlefoot." Ruby said in a soft tone. "You can tell me. I'll help you. Friends help each other, right?" Littlefoot sighed. He would knew Ruby would hate to hear his story, but surely that Ruby will understand, do anything to help him out and get rid of his painful past once and for all.

He raised his head up. "Okay, Ruby. Here goes. Do you know the story about my mother? When she saved me and Cera from Sharptooth at the Mysterious Beyond?"

Ruby replied, "Yes, I have heard about the story, the story I have heard."

Littlefoot continued, "Well, she saved us, but.." Tears came into Littlefoot's eyes once more."...the Sharptooth got her..."

Ruby began to gasp after that sentence. "The Sharptooth got her." His mother saved Littlefoot and Cera from Sharptooth's carnage, but at the cost of her own life. She sacrificed herself for her son. Ruby now knew the reason he was filled with pain.

Littlefoot lowered his head again in sadness. Ruby had to do something to cheer him up, but she knew that simple words would do nothing. She closed her eyes and started to think of what to say, until something came to mind, which caused her to open her eyes immidiately. Maybe this would help! It had to. There was nothing else to say but what she will say right now. There was no turning back.

Ruby turned her head to Littlefoot. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Littlefoot. It is upsetting when you lose someone you love so much. However, since you came to the Great Valley, you shown to be a great leader and an amazing part of our family. Being a leader is not an easy thing, but with your strong determination and not giving up, you were able to make friends along the way, and you made it to the Great Valley together."

Littlefoot raised his head up. "What does that have to do with Mother?" He asked.

Ruby answered, "Because your mother right now would be so proud of you. She is always there with you, no matter where you go. She will never leave you and you will find her everywhere. She'll always be with you, in day, night, anyday and she'll be close to your heart."

The sounds of Ruby's words made Littlefoot not only made him feel moved by them, but also made him realized something. The words of a wise mole-dino he remembered years ago came to mind:

"You'll always miss her. But she'll always be a part of you, as long as you remember the things she taught you. In a way, you'll never be apart, for you are still a part of each other."

His words were true! Littlefoot became a great leader because of what his mother taught him, and because of that, she's still a part of him! She's still out there, watching him right now! He could even hear her, imagining how she told him just how proud she was of him, her own and only son.

Littlefoot began to get teary-eyed again but this time he wore a smile across his face. He got up and started to give Ruby a nuzzle on the face. "Thank you, Ruby... I really can't thank you enough..."

Ruby was suprised by Littlefoot's nuzzle, that she began to remember something. Due to her living in the Great Valley without her family, she couldn't help but feel the same way as if the same fate could have happened to her family. Because of this, the fast-runner began to get teary-eyed just like Littlefoot, embracing her friend tightly without hesitation.

"It's okay, Littlefoot... and thank you..." Ruby said.

"...Huh?"

She smiled while her tears swelled in her eyes. "I couldn't ask for a better family than my friends..."

Littlefoot gave a short teary smile.  The two young dinosaurs continued their emotional embrace while the Bright Circle went behind the rocky cliffs, the Night Circle beginning to rise as it disappeared and the bright stars in the sky, twinkling like never ending sparkling lights, appearing as darkness embraced the two friends. The longneck and fast-runner finished their embrace at last, their eyes moving to the Night Circle, its beautiful shine painting a wide smile on their faces. It wasn't long until their heads were beginning to feel heavy, tiredness overwhelming them. No words needed to be spoken; they lay down and slept through the night together in harmony. As long as they had their friends and family watching them no matter where they were, they always knew they would never be alone.


Sovereign

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Well, there was some serious emotion here! The dialogue was rather powerful in places and I truly liked the ending. It was well done from you to have established such a genuinely heartwarming scene in this short a story. The setup was very brief and I'm rather positive the story could have gathered a bit more emotionif it was a bit longer.

Considering that this was your first story (my credit also goes to Ducky123 for whatever parts he did), the writing itself was definitely solid. The descriptions worked very nicely and the dialogue was completely believable and it managed to do justice to this evergreen story idea. Sure, both of them were often done briefly but things worked out quite well as it is. Littlefoot's feelings and thoughts were handled nicely and Ruby's reassurances were equally genuine and fit her character well. These things together gave the reader more than one would expect in 1000 words.  :DD

As I said, I enjoyed this story quite a lot. Sure, it could have been fleshed out more and some things (like the term wise mole-dino) were rather odd but they didn't seriously harm this story. Considering that this is your first fic, good job!  :yes




Ducky123

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Well, the only sentences that are almost completely my doing are those few at the ending. I really loved what Cybertronian did and got carried away fixing things :p
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CybertronianBrony

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Thanks, Sovereign! Really appreciate it! I admit it was difficult but it was fun getting my creativity going! I'll make more stories to improve as well as get my writing groove back! As well as to also get back to writing my series. 8 months and I haven't updated it.

And thank you so much, good buddy Ducky! Really couldn't have do it without ya! Without your expertise, my writing would have been... let's say... mediocre!