A Glimpse Beyond

[RainbowFaceProtege]

[Anagnos]

There's no need to feel embarrassed if a story ends up being short for your liking as I personally prefer the shorter pieces in fiction. The editing process is usually the most time-consuming part of creative writing, as there are some writers who prefer to write a rough draft of the story/chapter first before jumping into editing, myself included. This is the process that ends up eating most of my time, so don't feel discouraged. It's something (almost) every writer goes through at some point. The bottom line is that you have to make the story as engaging as you can and that's not always easy. Of course, there is the option to solely write for the target audience and give them exactly what they want, but are you writing for them or yourself then? Personally, I love writing because I can let my creativity run wild and explore with new ideas.

There is a saying in the modern world; some things should be left forgotten, and I think this hits close to home here. Littlefoot is obviously left reeling from his encounter with the enigmatic rainbowfaces, and we as the audience know certain things that he doesn't. This is what separates characters from the readers. I love the way you can play with the reader's mind and make them second-guess what they've just witnessed. The feeling of the unknown only adds into the mystery that both the audience and Littlefoot is desperate to uncover. Littlefoot's conversation with his mother was... something else, because for the first time for me, it forced me to consider a few things;

1: Despite being younger and more inexperienced in life, here Littlefoot is actually the winner because he could see something that his mother could not, despite her experience.

2: The dialogue between mother and son actually made me almost shed few tears, which is very rare for me, especially in fanfiction. This has reinforced your abilities as a writer and I'm pleasantly amazed how you connect with the reader with words and expressions.

Now the ending is really interesting because it forces the reader to ponder what exactly occurred and what is the central point of the story. Did Littlefoot actually see his mother or was it all just a dream? What about the rainbowfaces? I think that the latter actually happened because Littlefoot would have no clue about the strange environment he suddenly found himself in, which based from the descriptions, must have been their spaceship or something along those lines. The way you constructed this scene, the words Littlefoot used to describe the place certainly bolster this. This was a wonderful short story! You did a really good job and you can be proud of the results!

[Goldenwind]

This story is amazing!  I read this and I am like, "This feels like an epilogue to A LBT VII-2 or something". This is really heartwarming and even after all he has been through, I can see Littlefoot not wanting to leave his mother side even if there is a big barrier between them.

Spoiler: ShowHide

Though that Rainbow Face intervention at the end, it gave me a little whiplash with the female Rainbow Face essientally giving Littlefoot the "Men in Black" mindwipe. Score for the male one for beign the one to alter the memory into a dream instead, I always saw him as the fun one. 

[RainbowFaceProtege]

[OwlsCantRead]

Ah, I really liked this one. There have been many angst pieces where Littlefoot cries for his mother (especially if it adapts the first film), but I cannot remember if Littlefoot's mother has had a one-on-one supernatural chat with her son before. I even remember a story about Cera's mom guiding her, and I still can't recall if I seen an explicit meeting (not implicit) before.

Littlefoot's conversation with his mother was... something else, because for the first time for me, it forced me to consider a few things;

1: Despite being younger and more inexperienced in life, here Littlefoot is actually the winner because he could see something that his mother could not, despite her experience.

Now, this part of this review, I admit, caught me off guard, because I'd always seen Littlefoot this way. It isn't explicitly stated in the series, but the very nature of his character is what allows him to be the lynchpin in the Gang of Five/Seven and unite them to begin with. So yes, I did like that the talk did explicitly establish that the children have made strides that the resilient adults did not, because while it might seem obvious in a series perspective, maybe sometimes one just overlooks it on a daily basis in the valley.

And as a result, even when I only just started reading through the longnecks' talk, I was positively certain that this aspect of Littlefoot would be brought up, so I'm glad that it was, as sometimes altruistic ones like Littlefoot spend so much effort being nice that they don't realize how others around them appreciate it until reminded by an external party. So overall, I liked the talk between him and his mom. It had a sense of reunion and finality to it, even if I did expect how it'd go, even when the tear-rending goodbye was bound to happen.

So really, the only ironic complaint I have with the story is, believe it or not, the Rainbow Faces. The story would have made just as gripping a connection if it faded from the end right back to the valley, as even without their interference it is clearly implied that Littlefoot is a destined leader to unite the herds. The Rainbow Faces ironically jarringly cut that connection, and maybe it's personal opinion, but I feel like the tone would have worked better if Littlefoot had just awakened from his dream and briefly reflected on what it could have meant instead of dismissing it outright due to outside interference, as it led to an abrupt ending.

Overall, I still like this story rather much. Lots of LBT stories do gloss over some of the supernatural aspects of it, but that aura of mystery was there in this touching tale.

[rhombus]

If there is one thing the prompt exchange seems to be good at, it is making us step outside of our comfort zones and encounter plot points that we would not have otherwise attempted.  Despite this being a new experience for you, rest assured that the final product was a joy to read. 

The introduction sets the tone for the story in many ways, showcasing Littlefoot's curiosity and uncertainty as the rainbowfaces make their disappearance.  The dichotomy between his reaction and that of his friends is a telling one, as Littlefoot seems to be more connected with both the supernatural and the unseen wonders of the world than his friends.  As such it is not a surprise that Littlefoot is the one to make a connection with his mother again, though this development itself is certainly surprising.  The talk between mother and son, so long coming, was a very touching and heartfelt one.  The fact that Littlefoot was reluctant to go (and apparently had to be dragged back to his plane of existence) is very believable and showcases that his altruism and love is also tempered with a stubbornness which would impress Cera (though she would never admit it  ).

The interference by the rainbowfaces at the end would normally be seen by me as a kind of an emotional whiplash that should be avoided, but I think in this story it works well.  By having the rainbowfaces take the focus at the end it brings the story into a satisfactory circle, with the beginning ponderings of Littlefoot joining with the affirmation that he is destined to great things.  Besides, as characters the rainbowfaces cannot help but to interfere with things. 

So, all in all, I quite enjoyed this story as both a character piece and a potential springboard into a wider storyline.  It had some unique choices in terms of scene arrangement, but I think that it works in the context of the story.  Thank you for sharing this story with us.