I like what a character in the KOTOR game named Jolee Bindo said, last I heard the game is considered cannon. I read he's considered a grey jedi since he deviates somewhat from the order. I don't recall his exact dialog but basically as I recall he says not having emotions that lead to the dark side, just that what your intent is, but that emotions can make it easier for you to slide into the dark side.
For example supposedly force lightning is only dark side. Though I've read that there is a light side technique. To me it makes more sense to say it is the intent. If you use force lightning to torture and such like the emperor did that would be dark side. If you used it to start someone's heart who had a heart attack I would say that would not be dark side. Same if you used it at a feeble level to recharge a battery. Or if you use force lightning to stun or knock some out. It should be the intent behind which the action is done.
If you go with what most of the order say then the perfect jedi would be either an emotionless robot, or a vulcan who has gone through the thing they can go through to purge themselves of all emotion, forgot what the technique or order is called.
