The Gang of Five
Howdy, everyone!

The member joining awards for 2019, 2020, and 2021 have been posted. We admins would like to thank each and every one of you who have made the forum their home over these years. It is because of people like you that the forum is the welcoming place that it is. :)

The forum supporter awards for those who maintained the forum on Patreon in 2023 will also be up shortly. Again, thank you all for what you do to keep our little corner of the Internet online!

If Only...

Littlefoot Fan 93

  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 338
    • View Profile
Prologue:

Littlefoot's life in the Great Valley has been, for the most part, very exciting and fun! Despite the turmoil, grief, suffering and pain it took Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie, and Spike to reach it, it has been worth the effort. However, there has been one thing that Littlefoot has always longed for: a complete family. Losing his mother in the fashion that he did, he didn't deserve that at his age. Also that Littlefoot's father hardly knows his own son and remains wondering the Mysterious Beyond with his herd and on top of this he seldom ever come to the Great Valley, Littlefoot sometimes feels that his father doesn't take his own son seriously! For a long time he thought he will never have the experience of a full, loving, caring family for the rest of his life. Then he realises that he can possibly change everything, and potentially gain that experience for himself, and he just knows who to ask..

That's my prologue, a bit short I know but its there to give apprehension to the readers! If you have any feedback please let me know!


Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
I have no problems with the prologue to be short :)
A prologue should introduce the plot and should make the reader interested. Your prologue is great  :yes I'm looking forward to read more!
This is likely to become a great fic  :wow
Inactive, probably forever.


StrutEggStealer

  • Professional Veggie-Eater
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 1514
    • View Profile
Oh wow! This looks to be a fascinating adventure! I love the plot already :)
"Not all who wander are lost"
J. R. R. Tolkein


Malte279

  • The Circle
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 15598
    • View Profile
    • http://www.ineinemlandvorunsererzeit.de.vu
Hi Littlefoot Fan 93,
I have become kind of notorious for my criticism of land before time fanfiction and have pretty much withdrawn from the fanfiction section myself. When I review I give credit where I see credit due, but at the same time I also don't allow for politeness to keep me from criticizing.
In the end I fear my criticism wasn't helping anyone for being too fundamental about the very roots of fanfiction that contains cross over characters or other elements not found in any land before time movie (humans, science fiction elements etc.). I'm too much of a "purist" when it comes to land before time fanfiction.
You did address in your prologue an aspect which I think is quite fundamental for the understanding of Littlefoot's character. They didn't directly address it in the movies very often (in fact refering to his mother only in LBT 9 and 10), but Littlefoot's wish for a family may have been very integral for many of his decisions.
It may be the basis for his extreme readiness to accept new characters as friends, fosterlings or mentors (Chomper, Ali, Doc, Mo, the tinysaurs etc.). Littlefoot himself may be unaware of it, but he might well be trying to set up a kind of surrogate family.
Stories could well be written about it within the framework provided by the original movie and the first few sequels.
Do you plan on writing a fanfiction including elements that would not likely appear in the movies (e.g. for a random guess something like time travel provided by the rainbowfaces or the like?) or do you plan for a land before time story without such elements?


Littlefoot Fan 93

  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 338
    • View Profile
So lets start Chapter 1.

Chapter 1: The Request

Littlefoot awoke to a cold, misty morning. Cold condensation covered his whole body and he was freezing cold. He got to his feet and shook off the water covering him and then turned to greet his grandparents and found that they were gone, obscured in the mist. It was so thick that Littlefoot couldn't see his foot in front of his face; so he called out for his grandparents.

"Grandma, Grandpa? Where are you?" Littlefoot called out, then he got a reply. "Littlefoot? Is that you dear?" His grandmother responded, she and grandpa were able to stand above the mist, but couldn't see their grandson below in the mist. Then they heard Littlefoot call back. "Grandma? where are you?" then Littlefoot walked into something! To his relief, it was his grandfather. "Littlefoot, are you alright?" Grandpa asked, "No I'm fine grandpa!" Littlefoot answered. He knew he wasn't getting far from his nest without walking into something or someone else! The last thing he wanted was to walk into Mr. Threehorn! "Um Grandma, Grandpa? Can I get a ride out of here?" Littlefoot asked. "Of course dear." Grandma answered, lowering her head and letting Littlefoot on. "Thanks. Hey! its much clearer from up here!" Littlefoot remarked at the clearness of most of the valley. As the three Longnecks reached the bottom of the hill, it got clear enough for Littlefoot to see his way and his grandmother lowered her head and he hopped off. "Can I go and play with my friends know?" Littlefoot asked and as usual got the same answer on days like this, "Of course Littlefoot, but just be careful!" His grandfather answered and upon hearing those words, Littlefoot bounced off with a spring in his step and disappeared into the distance.

As Littlefoot travelled into the woods, someone called his name. "Littlefoot!" Littlefoot turned around and seen nobody and continued walking. then his name was called again, "Littlefoot Longneck! Over here!" Littlefoot walked over towards the voices. He thought it was Cera trying to surprise him so he called her out, "Alright Cera! Come on out!" as soon as he uttered those words, he tumbled down a small hill head over heals and landed on his side. It took a little time for Littlefoot to reorient himself but then he saw two familiar figures. Then they spoke. "It good to see you again Littlefoot." Then Littlefoot identified the two figures; it was the Rainbow Faces that helped them with The Stone Of Cold Fire a few seasons ago! He was the only one that knew that they weren't normal Rainbow Faces and was confused on why they were back here. "Oh hello. I don't understand? Why did you come back here and now? Also why were you calling me out?" Littlefoot asked the Rainbow Faces. "Well my sharp minded Longneck, we came to thank you for your help in our work." Answered the Male Rainbow Face. "That's OK... I guess..." Littlefoot responded with a confused look on his face. Then the female Rainbow Face stepped in. "Littlefoot, since you have been a great help to us, we have come here to return the favour." Littlefoot started to become intrigued "What do you mean?" Littlefoot asked, then both Rainbow Faces replied. "Ask us to do anything, and we will perform your request without question." Littlefoot had a huge number of things on his head now, but he could decide on what he really wanted. All he was certain was that he wanted his friends to be there. So he asked the Rainbow Faces. "Can I think about this and also can my friends come along?" Littlefoot asked. Then he got an immediate response from the male Rainbow Face. "First how many friends you have including yourself?" "7 including me" Littlefoot answered. Then he questioned why did they need to know? "Well that would be telling? Wouldn't it?" Answered the female Rainbow Face. Before Littlefoot could reply, the male Rainbow Face stated. "Think about it and when you have come up with a request, meet us at the hill your Threehorn friend wanted you and your friends to run away to. Littlefoot was shocked. "How did you know?" He asked. The female Rainbow Face stated. "That's not important right now. Off you go to think about it and remember: anything you want." Then Littlefoot left to seek his friends.
   
As Littlefoot found his friends, it had been obvious that they had been waiting for him for some time know and as usual, Cera was frustrated. "Finally, here he is!" Cera remarked. Ducky stepped in, looking concerned. "What happened Littlefoot? We were all worried about you, we were, we were!" "Oh, I couldn't leave home due to the mist. I kept on walking into my grandparents!" Littlefoot explained, then Petrie flew up to him. "Me know how you feel. Me keep walking into brother and sister, lots of bumpy heads!" Ruby breathed a sigh of relief. "It's good to know that your OK, OK to know that your good!" Then, Chomper ran into the middle of the group shouting "We all know that Littlefoot's OK, so lets get on with it!" along with Spike nodding in agreement. "Well you know the drill guys! So lets get on with it!" Cera stated, referring to the teams for Kick The Seed and the gang started the game.

As afternoon set in, it was the end of the final round, and the scores were tied three for three and Ruby was on the offensive with the seed, dodging her less nimble opponents and was going for the finishing shot. Unfortunately for Ruby, Littlefoot blocked her shot and sent the seed careening into the other goal, from the other side of the field. Littlefoot was whooping with excitement for what he did and the others were astonished of what Littlefoot had accomplished and congratulated for the game and the feat. "Good shot Littlefoot! Me no believe you could do that!" said Petrie. "I've seen better" said Cera. "I wonder what his mum and dad would say about that?" Ruby said. Then, Littlefoot lowered his head with a sad expression on his face and the rest of the gang started glaring at Ruby. "What? What did I say, say what I did?" Ruby asked, not knowing why everybody was staring at her. "Don't you know what happened!?" Cera yelled at Ruby angrily. "What happened? I know his dad is OK. But nothing about his mother, his mother I know nothing!" Ducky stepped in on the argument. She did not like arguments and wanted it to be over, so she stepped up to Ruby to finish it "Littlefoot's mother, she died when he was little, she did, she did." Ducky said to Ruby. Upon hearing those words, Ruby sat down and started to cry over what she had done. "You don't need to be so hard on yourself Ruby. Things like this happen." Cera said with a more smoothing touch to her voice. "Why not! I had just said something very personal about Littlefoot without me knowing that that was very bad!" Ruby said while continuing to sob and cry. Then she felt someone standing in front of her. Ruby looked up; it was Littlefoot! "Ruby, you didn't know what happened to mother so I forgive you." Littlefoot said, forgiving Ruby for her actions. "Thank you Littlefoot! I'm so sorry, sorry I so am! Ruby said, while hugging Littlefoot. I do understand. If only... then it hit him! It had been so obvious to him that he never considered it before; he could ask the Rainbow Faces to save his mother and have his father never wonder off to find a new home and keep him with mother! Guys, I want you all to meet me at our meeting place near the Great Wall tonight! "Why Littlefoot?" Ducky asked. "Well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?" Littlefoot said. "Sure Littlefoot! I mean it isn't the first time we sneaked off from our folks during the night! Cera commented. The rest of the gang started to laugh. "So, are you in?" Littlefoot asked. "I'll come, oh yes, yes, yes!" Ducky said. "Me in!" Petrie said. Spike nodded in agreement. "Don't leave me behind guys!" Chomper stated. "Sure Littlefoot! I will come! Besides, who's going to look after Chomper!" Ruby stated, wiping her tears away. "I'd mind as well go too." Cera said. "Great! I'll meet you all tonight!" Littlefoot said, waving his friends goodbye for the moment.
 
So Malte279, this does include the Rainbow Faces because Littlefoot and Littlefoot alone know that they could possibly do this task and there is no other alternative, so great guess there!   :DD

Once again, any questions, comments or queries, please feel free to reply!


jansenov

  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2660
    • View Profile
This should cause quite a few time paradoxes. And I would expect a member of civilisation capable of time travel (according to our current understanding of physics, such a civilisation would be a Type IV on the Kardashev scale, which means it would be billions of years old and have complete dominion over the known universe) to be fully aware of the dangers of such an undertaking, and to be quite reluctant to indulge the wishes of a being like Littlefoot that is so vastly limited in its insight. Unless the Rainbowface is mad or has incomprehensible ulterior motives of its own. Hmm...

I'm very interested to see where you will bring this. You can bring a story about time travel to any level of complexity you want, from using time travel as a convenient plot device to a mind boggling study of consequences. Good luck!  ;)


Almaron

  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 322
    • View Profile
You know, I always thought that the Rainbowfaces could have been human time-travelers, just disguised in some way so that they could survey prehistoric times for scientific reasons (or perhaps they're secret cameramen for Universal Studios!). Instead of having them tell Littlefoot they're going to change things for him, perhaps it could be that Littlefoot stumbles across the male Rainbowface (since he's the one who often comes close to giving things away) and mistakenly follows him through a hole in time that brings him to the fight between his mother and Sharptooth...however, his sudden appearance makes enough of a distraction that Sharptooth doesn't manage to bite her back as hard. Before anything else can happen, the male Rainbowface finds him and takes him back to the Great Valley; imploring him to keep this secret for now until he can determine what's changed...and thus the story begins!

Ooh...I just had an idea for a dark sort of ending. Towards the end of the story, events could get progressively worse and worse via the butterfly effect; some disasters from previous movies aren't dealt with in the same way and still affect the valley (for example, what if Mr Threehorn and Cera got caught in the Great Valley fire and gained crippling injuries), some characters might have died...anyway, the climactic bit of the story would be the Rainbowfaces realising this new timeline is unstable and will affect the future too much unless a crucial element is changed. It becomes clear that Littlefoot will have to choose between his mother and his friends...

Obviously, such a choice would be unbearable to make, so he doesn't make it; instead, his mother willingly sacrifices herself (which could show character development if she was still racist towards the others, as some people have suggested she could have been if she'd lived...although personally I doubt it) by going through the portal before Littlefoot can stop her.

There would be a hopeful epilogue...with a bit of a twist. Before leaving, the Rainbowfaces would tell Littlefoot that they would make a small change for him, but they wouldn't tell him what it would be. They leave, and then the story goes back in time to before the first movie, where an adult male longneck is dying in the wildernesses...Bron. They quickly get him back on his feet, and send him on his way...

Still with me? In the "original" timeline, Bron dies while searching for a place for his family, thus prompting his herd to move west towards the Great Valley. At the end of this, the Rainbowfaces save him (thus setting in motion the events of LBT 10...so this would have to take place between movies 7-10) so that Littlefoot will still have a parent in his life...even if he's not present all the time (I imagine Malte would like this sort of scenario...it would give a reason as to why Bron's story seems so odd; the Rainbowfaces did it!). Course, there'd need to be some work done to justify such changes to the timeline...but hey, if Back To The Future can do it, then anyone can!

Argh, listen to me. Too many ideas, not enough time to write them up. Feel free to use these concepts if you like; I'll probably never do anything with them.


Dosu2Dinner

  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 458
    • View Profile
Having read this, I'm intrigued already... :lol:

It's a very good concept, I think. Although I generally prefer LBT fanfics to have the same sort of realism to them as the films/TV series, sometimes bending the rules a little is fine and enjoyable.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I would love to see a bit of Bron's and Littlefoot's Mother's past. I actually had my own ideas on the matter, which may worm its way into my own fanfic. XD.

One thing I can't help notice though (just a bit of constructive criticism) is that your writing-style is a little fast-paced? I'm sure that'll change it time though.

Yep, very good. Let me know when you write the next chapter!


Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
Wow! I like your ideas almaron! :yes
Inactive, probably forever.