Ducky123's fic

[bushwacked]

Awesome chapter - Littlefoot and Cera fighting was one of my favourite scenes in the first film, so I really liked this one   Spike getting involved in the fight was pretty surprising too.

[Ducky123]

Thanks you two

CT: Yeah, bearing in mind that you're a fan of Cera (and Ducky ), I need to warn you that Cera might have a rough time throughout the next few chapters... but hey, I'm following the plot of LBT 1 (the fight was one of those scenes based on the Original) so you'll see that Cera will be fine... eventually. I'm actually currently writing the chapter that is the turning point of Cera's state of health but *spoilers*  :blink:
And you're right, Spike's attack aggravated Cera's injury.

bushwacked: Me two Spike is a nice guy but if you attack one of the things/dinosaurs he likes (in this case LF, since he accepted Spike with ease) he'll protect them...

EDIT: I'm planning to upload this fanfiction to fanfiction.net. Do you think I should keep the chapters as they are or rather revamp the earlier ones in terms of writing style and grammar? Both could be improved after all... I would keep them as they are here on the GoF though because I'd like to keep the history of me improving throughout the story  
Another point, do you think I should give this fic a name at last or rather leave it at Ducky123's fic? I can't come up with a name anyway

[rhombus]

So the fight between Cera and Littlefoot finally occurs, but this time with quite a twist.  A perfectly in-character twist as well in that, as you mentioned, Spike does have quite a protective side when it comes to his friends.  It will be interesting to see how this develops.

I'm planning to upload this fanfiction to fanfiction.net. Do you think I should keep the chapters as they are or rather revamp the earlier ones in terms of writing style and grammar? Both could be improved after all... I would keep them as they are here on the GoF though because I'd like to keep the history of me improving throughout the story

That would be entirely up to you.  But, like you said, you already have the original chapters posted to the GOF.  Therefore, if you did decide to make grammatical improvements and the like there will still be a history of how you have improved throughout the story located on this forum.  Personally, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my posts (which is why many of my posts are edited 2 or 3 times immediately after posting), so I would probably take the opportunity to make any improvements that I deemed necessary if I were in your position.

Another point, do you think I should give this fic a name at last or rather leave it at Ducky123's fic? I can't come up with a name anyway

This is just my personal opinion, but I think that it would probably be best to give your story a name.  If you give it an enticing name then you may get additional readers for the story, whom may otherwise overlook a story with a placeholder title.

Edit: Darn it!  I had to correct a punctuation error.  You see what I mean about me modifying my posts several times.  

[bushwacked]

EDIT: I'm planning to upload this fanfiction to fanfiction.net. Do you think I should keep the chapters as they are or rather revamp the earlier ones in terms of writing style and grammar? Both could be improved after all... I would keep them as they are here on the GoF though because I'd like to keep the history of me improving throughout the story dino_angel.gif
Another point, do you think I should give this fic a name at last or rather leave it at Ducky123's fic? I can't come up with a name anyway in-frustrated.gif

Sure, I'd say you could improve the chapter's grammar etc. when you post them up on ff.net. It'd probably give you quite a lot of satisfaction to see how much your English has improved

And a name would probably be a good idea. Like rhombus said, it might bring in more readers - and besides, a good story like this deserves a title.

[Ducky123]

Okay, thanks I'll revamp them slightly.. and try to come up with a name that fits the story. Try...  :

[Ducky123]

Chapter 23: Spike is one of us now!

Ducky and Petrie rushed to Littlefoot and Spike.
"You okay, Littlefoot?" Petrie questioned, worried.
Littlefoot groaned.
"It does not sound good, oh no, no, no!" Ducky said harassedly.
They heard Cera cursing in the distance.
Ducky reached Littlefoot who seemed to be alright aside from some light cuts.
Laborously, Littlefoot got to his feet again.
"Darn!" he groaned. "This Threehorn's insane!!!"
"Yeah, she so brutal to you, flathead!" Petrie incensed.
"Yep, yep, yep!" Ducky agreed.
Spike licked all of them with his tongue making pleasant sounds at that.
"Thanks Spike, I owe you a thank you as well," Littlefoot laughed.
"Awww...uhmmm...ehhh," Petrie stammered in lack of words.
"Hehehehehe...... hehehehehe... stop it, Spike, you are tickling me," Ducky giggled.
Spike left Ducky in peace. Grinning, he looked at his new found friends and he was happy about that.
"I do not understand why Cera is so hostile towards Spike, no, no, no!" Ducky sighed.
"She have pain in back so she grumpy, probably..." Petrie guessed.
"Possibly..." Littlefoot answered, "Though I rather believe that she just wanted to fight!"
"That right!" Petrie commented.
"Her father's always as quarrelsome, mean and hostile towards others, if not worse!" Littlefoot continued.
"Yep, yep, yep! He argues with everyone, except with others of his kind," Ducky piped up.
"I haven't noticed that yet, Ducky!" Littlefoot said amazed.
"Yeah, good point!" Petrie squeaked in agreement.
"Thank you!" She gave them a warm smile. "But I do not understand why Threehorns are so quarrelsome and mean, nope, nope, nope."
"My grandma has told me that every kind has certain attributes," Littlefoot narrated.
"My mommy has told me that we Swimmers are always kind and helpful, yep, yep, yep," Ducky recalled.
"Me Flyer, Flyers veeeeeeeeery brave," Petrie shew off. "You pretty nice, Ducky, you too, flathead."
"My name's Littlefoot..." the little Longneck chuckled.
"Petrie sorry!"
"So are you, Petrie. Hehehe!" Ducky chuckled. "Spike is nice as well in his own way..."
"No doubt!" Littlefoot agreed.
"For a short time, there was silence.
"Well, we should return to the opening in the ceiling I suppose," Littlefoot proposed. "There's some light after all..."
"Everyone agreed so they followed him out of the dark path.

In the meantime, Cera limped into the path Petrie was supposed to explore earlier her face distorted with pain. After a few minutes, she collapsed, exhausted, and fell asleep in an instant.

When Littefoot, Ducky, Petrie and Spike had reached the crosspath, Littlefoot remembered that he hadn't shown them his discovery.
"Guys! I found something mysterious in the cave I was exploring earlier!" He announced, excited.
"Oh! What is it, heh? Heh?" Ducky questioned curiously.
"Me wanna know that, too!" Petrie exclaimed, excited as well.
Spike nodded in agreement.
"Come along! You gotta see this!" Littlefoot said.
"Spike carrying Ducky and Petrie followed Littlefoot.
After a short moment, the four friends were at the cave with the luminous stones. Though nothing spent any light at all...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here we go! Since I don't know what else to say anyway, I gonna announce that I have more fics in work. If everything follows the schedule I try to follow, I'll post them around Christmas/New Year

Something's not right in the next chapter... see it yourself in a bit

[Sleeping-force's-inside]

Well, considering you were complaining xD

OMG, somehow that battle seems more awesome like this!

Now I'm really curious how this would have gone had they been adults xD

[Ducky123]

You did it I'm happy now.

Well, you're right. THAT would've been a major fight

The astonishing journey to the Land of many Wonders Link to ff.net (yes, I named it AT LAST!   )

[Sleeping-force's-inside]

It's about bloody time you did! XD

[Cancerian Tiger]

I know I said it before and I'll say it again, but poor Cera .  I hope she didn't go into shock, because that's not a fun experience .

The characters in this latest chapter felt out of character, to me at least.  Of all the Gang, I would've at least expected Littlefoot and Ducky to be more concerned about the fact that Cera got even more injured and they would put more effort into trying to find her and help her out.  I dunno, but those two seem to normally be characters who would always help someone out, regardless of if they were just in a fight with that character or not.  For that reason, this last chapter felt out of place to me.  But, who knows what the next one holds?  Maybe I'm speaking too soon .

[Ducky123]

Well pointed out, I didn't notice this myself  

Well, Ducky is pretty focused on Spike and Littlefoot is too angered to think about helping Cera... A little out of character for sure but, as you'll see, you indeed spoke too soon Though it might need a few more chapters until that happens *I spoiled enough already   *

[Dosu2Dinner]

Right, well, interesting couple of chapters. I find it interesting how Spike is initially timid, considering how I always found him very over-friendly and open, possibly considering how readily accepted he was into his group of friends. I also like how you've put a bit of a spin on his character here - timid until he realised how well accepted he was!

A nice reflection to the original film here, but this time with it flipped on its head - Littlefoot was the one who enticed Cera into fighting. I think he may have been a little to brash with her, openly insulting both her and her father like that, even given the circumstances, but that may have been your intention. And considering Cera's losses, if Littlefoot had mentioned her mother or sisters, I'm fairly sure she wouldn't have hesitated to kill him...

But anyway, I shall wait and see what happens next.  

[Ducky123]

^You don't need to wait much
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Chapter 24: What happened to the Shiny Stones???

"I do not see anything Littlefoot, nope, nope, nope," Ducky piped up.
"Me no see them, too," Petrie said, agreeing with her.
Spike's face looked questioning.
"Damn it!!!" Littlefoot said, annoyed. "Earlier, the ground was covered with shining stones that had a soft surface feeling like... moss!"
"I believe you, Littlefoot, I do, I do," Ducky said trying to cheer him up.
"Petrie believe you, too."
"But I do not understand why they are not there anymore, nope, nope, nope," Ducky wondered. "I mean, they cannot just disappear, can they???"
"Actually not," Littlefoot replied. "Or have you seen stones walking?"
"Stones do not walk, hehehehehe," Ducky giggled.
"Maybe they just don't shine anymore?" Littlefoot guessed.
"Yeah, that sound good," Petrie agreed.
"Ducky, Spike? Would you like to look and see?" Littlefoot suggested. "The stones can't be gone!"
"Yep, yep, yep, we look and see, right Spike?" Ducky replied happily.
Spike nodded so they slowly walked into the cave.
Ducky only needed a few steps to come across a pebble. She uttered a short scream.
"Yucky! It feels icky, it does!" she shouted in disgust.
Spike walked to Ducky and licked one of the stones. The Spiketail uttered disgusted tones.
Littlefoot and Petrie walked to them. The Flyer touched the stone Ducky still held in her hands as well.
"That funny stone," he croaked.
Littlefoot touched the stone as well observing that it was the same kind of stone he discovered earlier.
"Yes, the ones I found earlier."
"But what we do now?" Petrie asked.
"Maybe we should take a few stones with us?" Ducky proposed.
"But stones don't shine..." Petrie reasoned.
"Maybe they just need some rest," Ducky guessed.
"That possible," Petrie agreed.
Spike showed his agreement, too.
"Well, for now, everybody  takes one stone," Littlefoot said. "We go back to the rock slide that cut the way back."
"Yep, yep, yep!"
"Okay!"
Ducky, Petrie and Spike each took one stone quickly. Littlefoot took the one Ducky had found. On the way back the Swimmer had a thought.
"Littlefoot? The rock slide has not cut off our way back, nope, nope, nope."
"How come?" Littlefoot wondered blankly.
"We cannot go away from the rocky outcrop unless the Flyers pick us up there..."
"Yeah..." Littlefoot sighed, "We can't go there anyway... everything is blocked and caved in."
"Littlefoot right!" Petrie confirmed.
"Well, at least we have found Spike, yep, yep, yep," Ducky said reminding her friends.
Spike licked Ducky so forcefully that the little Swimmer fell on her back.
"Hehehehe, Spike!!!" she chuckled.
Spike laughed as well, so did Littlefoot and Petrie.
"You're right, Ducky," Littlefoot said eventually, nodding after everyone had recovered from the laughter.
Finally, they arrived at the rock slide and the hole in the ceiling. It had become night in the meantime, thus it was very dark. Distant thunder could be heard.
"Oh, is it already night???" Ducky wondered.
Spike yawned with pleasure, his view becoming sleepy.
Petrie yawned as well. "Petrie tired."
"I'm a bit tired, too," Littlefoot admitted. "Let's find a place to rest!"
"Yep, yep, yep!"
The four friends found a snuggy place to rest. Littlefoot plopped to the ground next to Spike, Ducky rested on Spike's back, Petrie on Littlefoot's.
However, the four couldn't fall asleep...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another rather easy-going chapter But don't worry, you get your action soon enough

The next chapter will be a little sad I think though nothing major  

[bushwacked]

Whoops, late review

This was another good chapter, though it seems like this was more of a 'setter upper' for something. I liked Ducky's reaction to walking into one of the pebbles Hopefully the stones they took will come in useful, and Cera'll be okay!

[Ducky123]

No, I'm not uploading weekly on purpose Hope to get those chapters out twice a week  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 25: No sleep

None of the four friends was able to drift off to sleep. All of them were deep in their thoughts, Ducky sobbing quietly.
Petrie, Spike and Ducky in particular thought of their families missing them highly whereas Littlefoot puzzled about his father. Why did he run away? He just could have endured the ash rain with them since they didn't have any problems with the ash. Nonetheless, he took flight like a scaredy-egg! The longer Littlefoot considered this, the madder he got. Disappointment and wrath developed in his inside. Because of that, he vowed to forget his father completely and to never mention him ever again. Tears streamed down his face and neck.
Meanwhile, the thundering  grew louder, the wind increased in strength and the first rain drops fell. A storm would prevent them from going to sleep additionally. Littlefoot sighed. At least they were safe from the storm...
He didn't find a confortable position resulting in permanent rolling around.
"You very restless, Littlefoot!" Petrie complained.
"Forgive me, Petrie, I can't fall asleep," Littlefoot answered quietly.
They heard Ducky weeping quietly mixed with her whispering 'Mommy' all the time.
"Me neither able to sleep," Petrie sighed. He too seemed to be sad.
Ducky finally bursted into tears having curled up on Spike's back, the arms covering her face.
"We confort Ducky?" Petrie questioned in a whisper.
"Yes," Littlefoot responded.
"She always cry."
"Yeah, poor girl... she can be so funny and friendly..."
The two kids got to their feet and walked to Spike who was already awaiting them.
"Ducky..." Littlefoot spoke quietly and calmly, nuzzling the Swimmer.
"It alright, Ducky. You no must cry," Petrie gave it a try.
Yet, Ducky cried even louder.
Littlefoot grabbed the little one placing her on the ground carefully. She curled up again in an instant.
"You sure miss your family, don't you?" Littlefoot asked sentimentally.
"Mmhhmm!" She nodded.
"So do I..." he admitted with an unsteady voice. He too began to weep.
"Me miss my brothers and sisters," Petrie sobbed.
"Yep, yep, yep!"
Ducky uncurled herself and got up placing herself next to Spike. Then she wrapped her arms around
her angled legs and placed her head in her arms.
"Mama!!! Papa!!!" she cried. She also called her eleven siblings by the name.
Petrie walked to her plopping to the ground next to Ducky.
Spike was crying , too
As Ducky and Petrie cuddled with each other, Littlefoot curled up at the other side of Spike.

The cries of the four friends each of them having lost a member of their families mingled with the thunder, the swooshing and swishing of the wind and the sound of countless rain drops hitting the ground.
Neither of them would sleep well this night. Repeatedly, memories of their deceased family members made them cry more or less. At some point, even the mournful little Ducky drifted off into an unhappily dark world of dreams...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, as I said, this is just one of those chapters needed to make the story not look rushed, imo, that is

The next one is a two parter due to its lenght. Might be a little weird... I warned you

[bushwacked]

This chapter was short, but it was a good take on the hugging/sleeping scene from the film. You made it more depressing, which I like in a weird way   I'm wondering where Cera is too - hopefully she's okay.

Also, I have a bad feeling about these dreams that you mention at the end...

[rhombus]

At some point, even the mournful little Ducky drifted off into an unhappily dark world of dreams...

Wow, that statement is foreboding.  Even though this chapter is rather depressing, I like how you have elaborated upon the gang's inner turmoil at this time. Obviously the children would be going through a lot of distress and conflicting emotions after all they have experienced and lost, and I think that you have expressed that quite well in this chapter.

[Dosu2Dinner]

Littlefoot's thinking about his father was good to see, I think. I really felt his anger and bitter disappointment in that passage. As for the rest of them, well...things can only get better.
I wonder what's happening with Cera as well... :unsure:

[Ducky123]

This chapter was short, but it was a good take on the hugging/sleeping scene from the film. You made it more depressing, which I like in a weird way dino_tongue.gif I'm wondering where Cera is too - hopefully she's okay.

Also, I have a bad feeling about these dreams that you mention at the end...

Hehe, thanks Chapter's don't need to be extremely long to be great though it doesn't hurt to write much Anyway, there are plenty chapters with about 800 words +/- ...

QUOTE
At some point, even the mournful little Ducky drifted off into an unhappily dark world of dreams...


Wow, that statement is foreboding. Even though this chapter is rather depressing, I like how you have elaborated upon the gang's inner turmoil at this time. Obviously the children would be going through a lot of distress and conflicting emotions after all they have experienced and lost, and I think that you have expressed that quite well in this chapter.

I'm happy that you think so You're totally right with your statement that the children have to deal with death, violence etc. That's why I put this rather sad scene here They experience a lot all day and when settling down they are forcefully reminded that their parents aren't there... The chapter I'm uploading with this post will be another one about handling with all the things they're far too young for, actually. But they have to or they'll be lost. After that though, the action continues

Littlefoot's thinking about his father was good to see, I think. I really felt his anger and bitter disappointment in that passage. As for the rest of them, well...things can only get better.
I wonder what's happening with Cera as well... unsure.gif

Ah, I'm glad to see that somebody caught this little thought Littlefoot is obviously disappointed...

Here we go! I say it again... what happens now is dreamed so it might be a little weird and not exactly possible
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 26: Dreaming

Part 1:

Cera awoke. She found herself lying amidst a barren landscape, no green food far and wide. She got up and noticed her terrible dry mouth and throat. She walked in circles just to note that there wasn't a single bit of water around. Desperately, she considered what she could possibly do.
"Ceeeeeeeraaaaaaaa..." a voice whispered all of a sudden from somewhere above the Threehorn.
"We come and get'cha!" another voice chuckled.
"You belong to meeeee!" the first voice shouted.
"You gonna die of thirst!" the other voice forecasted.
"W-w-who are ya?" Cera questioned anxiously.
"We are spirits."
"Baaaaaaaaad spirits!"
"W-w-what do ya want??? Leave me in peace!"
"We want revenge!!!"
"And retribution!"
"But...what for?!" What did I do to you???" Cera got quite frightened.
"You're the one that caused us to leave the Great Circle of Life! 'Cause you abandoned us!!!"
"Abandoned???"
"Yeah, you abondoned us when we ran away from that Sharptooth, 'member?
"'Cause of you he feasted on our corpses!!!"
"'Cause you didn't protect us!"
"WHO.. ARE.. YA!!!"
"Your former friends!"
"Huh?!"
"Your time is expired!
"Get her!!!"
The transparent shadows that had hovered above Cera invisibly all the time moved down and decelerated just above the ground so Cera could see them.
"LITTLEFOOT!!! PETRIE!!! DUCKY!!! YOU THERE!!! It's you!" Cera now recognized her friends.
"Too late, Threehorn!"
"We accompany you to the Land of Sharpteeth located deeeeeeeep below the Smoking Mountains!"
"There you'll pay for your crimes!"
"Plus you will be under pain, under a loooooooooot of pain, actually!"
The four spirits grabbed Cera and flew away.
"RELEASE ME! RELEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE ME!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
Just at this moment, Cera heard a loud bang when the spirits suddenly vanished.

Spike wandered through a swampy area, utterly alone. He was quite sad since his parents were dead. Not looking where he was walking, he bumped into a tree trunk. The Spiketail rubbed his head and continued his aimless journey. Some time later, he encountered an impenetrable swamp. Spike  considered deeply how he could possibly cross the swamp but there was simply no way through. He wasn't a good swimmer. He plopped to the ground, desperately begging to his mother in hope of being supported. Unexpectedly, a strip of the mud just as wide as he was transformed into green food. A voice, his mother's to be exact, spoke:
"My son, you have to eat up all the food in order to get to the other side. If you however try to cheat, the swampy water will return. You'll drown."
Cowed, the little Spiketail just nodded peeking to the other shore that was hardly recognizable. He opened his mouth and began to eat. With every bite, his mouth grew bigger so that he could eat increasingly more food at once...
His tummy grew fatter, he soon looked more like a ball than like a Spiketail. As he feasted through half of the food, he got stuck. Again he begged to his mother. To his surprise, the strip grew wider indeed. He ate more and more food... and got fatter and fatter.
Suddenly, just when he recognized his whole deceased family at the other shore that was only a few more steps away, he burst with a deafening bang...

Littlefoot climbed through a landscape permeated by rifts and cracks. Water poured down, distant thunder mixed with the rippling of the rain. He was in search of his mother. "Mother! Mother, where are you???"
He almost dropped into a small crack as he tried to go across it. He suddenly saw a massive grey-ish body in the darkness. His mother!
"Mother..." the little Longneck whispered quietly and anxiously. He sprinted to her lying on a little ledge and unmoving.
His mother sighed.
"Mother, please get up," Littlefoot beseeched.
"I'm... not sure I can, Littlefoot..." she responded her voice weak.
"Yes you can. Get up," Littlefoot encouraged his mother.
The Longneck tried to get to her feet but she failed collapsing to the ground by which the ledge she lied on broke so that her head was just in front of Littlefoot.
"Dear, sweet Littlefoot..." she merely whispered. "Do you remember what I told you about the Great Circle of Life?"
"I guess so," Littlefoot sobbed, "But why do I have to remember? You gonna stay with me!"
"I'll always be with you even if you can't see me," she replied.
"What do you mean 'if you can't see me'?" Littlefoot questioned. "I can always see you!"
"Littlefoot! Let your heart guide you! It whispers, so listen closely..." Littlefoot's Mother whispered with her voice getting weaker.
"Mother! Mother???" Littlefoot screamed; he didn't get a response. Littlefoot stayed at his mother's side until he realized what must have happened. His mother would never talk to him again, never cuddle up with him again, never look into his eyes again... She wasn't around anymore to protect him from Sharptooth; he was all on his own. Crying, he stormed away, further and further until he tripped. Being exhausted, he remained lying on the ground and cried his heart out in the rain getting less intense. Thoughts made his brain go berserk. Sharptooth killed his mother, his mother had protected him. She was dead... because he, Littlefoot, was still alive.
An enormous bang pulled him out of his thoughts...

Ducky woke up. She was at a small, green place though she was all alone. Ducky checked the area and got uneasy. Where was her mother? Where were her siblings??? She called after them restlessly and anxiously. Indeed, she received an answer though it neither was uttered by Ducky's Mommy nor by one of Ducky's eleven siblings...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The others will be in Part 2 since the chapter would've been too long otherwise

[bushwacked]

Creepy chapter   Spike's dream was particularly well written I thought, it was a nice way to work in his apparently endless hunger.

Littlefoot's dream was a good throwback to his mother's death in the film. Hopefully he'll get past his feelings of guilt over her death - but then again, since you're an evil, evil person I'm not sure he will...

Cera's was more funny to me, but maybe that's because the image of Petrie hovering around saying "You will be in under a lot of pain, actually" is amusing to me (I can completely hear that line in his voice). Also, Cera's back in the story so that's awesome  

Looking forward to part 2!