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Goldenwind

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Spike's Misadventure
« on: January 12, 2020, 08:09:28 PM »
Here is the LBT story I posted on DA. I thought I also share it here too for everyone to read. :) This is more of a comedy. XD


-----


It was a bad idea to explore that cave, even if he heard such a beautiful treesweet song… Now he is in the Mysterious Beyond… being chased by fast biters! Screech and Thud of all of them! Fortunately Red Claw doesn't seem to be with them, but that doesn't lessen the danger, especially since he is by himself. Poor Spike, scared, alone and without Ducky to comfort him. The only thing Spike knows that he can do is follow the tree star song.

"Sheesh for a small Spiketail he sure knows how to move!" Thud exclaims in the Sharptooth language.

"Why is it so, that whenever we have to deal with these Great Valley brats we can never catch them!?" Screech screeched in frustration.

"These kids are prodigies to the survival game. I'll give them that." Said Thud grinning crazily. He only cares about the thrill of the hunt. Normally a fast biter would drop their heads in shame for not even being able to catch a hatchling. But for him, he sees Littlefoot and his friends as a challenge for him.

Spike quickly climbs under a small opening in a stack of fallen trunks and branches. The two fast biters growl with Thud pointing out a detour for Screech.

The song is so close… please let it lead to something good!... Ah! A clearing filled with large pink flowers! Spike's mouth waters but he remembers he is being chased…But wait! What if he? He quickly runs and hides into the flowers.

The two fast biters quickly catch up! They are unable to see where he went, but they know he couldn't run that far.

"He probably hiding in those colored greens. Let's sniff him out." Screech suggested in sharptooth.

"Exactly what I was thinking." Thud replied.

The two began to sniff into the flower bed.

Spike is completely still, though scared that if they were to find him, he wouldn't be able to react in time.

The two fast biters are close and it seemed like Spike would be caught… the Spiketail gasps! The two fast biters are above him! OH NO!

The two smile viciously! Spike is paralyzed with fear! This is terrible! This is awful! The two fast biters actually managed to do the unthinkable in a Land Before Time story as they… fall over and start laughing… I did say unthinkable didn't I?

Spike is confused. What's with those fast biters? Are they laughing because they are so happy they caught him?

Thud and Screech then began rolling around in the flowers…Laughing… Playfully bopping each other's snouts… and then they turned their eyes to Spike.

Spike gulps worryingly as the two raptors got up and slowly approach towards him.

Spike steps back in fear, but the Fast Biters merely give Spike a pat on the head before running off… Okay… Was that supposed to happen? Spike was confused but he isn't complaining. Better than getting bitten. Now that the fast biters are gone, time to eat. All that running made him hungry. He listens to the song of the flowers more closely… Never heard such a unique Melody before… It was so unique that it made Spike go through that cave and into the Mysterious Beyond without even telling anyone first… A bad move in hindsight considering what just occurred, but Spike is mesmerized by it. He then gives them a good sniff just to be sure… Is it tasty? Even safe? Usually he can tell if a food is poisonous if he gives it a good sniff, but this is a very unique case. Well he didn't want to have made this trek all for nothing so… With a small nervous lick and… Huh…  Such an exotic flavor… Not bad, but not good… Hmm… Maybe it would be a good idea to show this to Mr. Thicknose and see what he thinks. Although most of the stuff he knows is second-hand information, he does have a lot of reliable knowledge, so he might be able to identify what it is. Although he didn’t explore the Mysterious Beyond much, even when he was forced out during the leaf gobbler famine, the second hand knowledge of the world is quite accurate. Spike picks up as much of the flowers as he could with his mouth as he grasps it around the stems and carries them back where he exited the Great Valley. The hole he went through appears to small. Too small for sharpteeth like Screech and Thud… Though to be on the safe side, Spike pushes a small boulder to the exit. Since the hole is above, it would be impossible if not hard to move it from the outside. If he had to exit again to locate the flowerbed for whatever reason, he can easily hide it with another rock from the outside. Spike makes his way through the cave with ease and safely makes it back into the Great Valley. Ahh even though he's been barely gone he is so glad to be the safety of the haven.

"Hey! Look who it is!"

...Almost safe… Sigh, it's Hyp and his gang, Nod and Mutt.

"Hi Spike." Mutt waves.

Spike smiles, he likes Mutt.

Hyp looks at Mutt with an eyebrow raised.

Mutt sees Hyp's look and shrugs nervously as if to say, “Can’t we be friends?”

Hyp scoffs with a slight chuckle. "I see that you're all alone… strange, I am so used to you at least hanging around with your sister and friends…"

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Nod nods (lol).

Spike gulps… Although they aren't as big of bullies as they used to be, they've still been known to cause trouble. Hopefully Hyp isn't in a mischievous mood. He has seen them get Guido chased by stinging buzzers, terrified Petrie's mother with creepy crawlies and at worst, throw stink weeds in the Tinysauruses home hole.

"Hmm… Never seen flowers like that before… Have you been keeping them to yourself?"

"What makes you think that Hyp?" Mutt asked.

"Recall the last time you saw Spike without Ducky?"

"Hmm... say... I don't think I ever remember that happening." Nod said.

"Exactly. So you probably managed to find a ground sweet stash to keep to yourself." Hyp says accusingly with a smirk.

"Spike would never do that Hyp. He is as pure as-as-...the sky?" Mutt says defensively.

Spike frowns… There were times he selfishly ate greens without even thinking because of his appetite and have seen what greed does when he saw his sister get obsessed with sky color stones. He didn't want to be thought of as selfish. So, without a second thought he drops the sweets from his mouth.

"Thanks…More for me!"

"Yeah! More for...What about me?" Nod snaps out of his repeating like a broken record agreement with Hyp.

"Hyp, that's Hypo...Hypo…" Mutt is unable to finish.

"Hypocritical? Yeah it starts with my name. Hehe!" Hyp is about to eat the sweets but with one sniff… "Goodness, what am I doing?" Hyp says with guilt ridden puppy dog eyes. "Oh, I am so sorry Spike, you are such a good Spiketail, I shouldn't ask for those flowers the way I did."

"...Yeah?" Nod agreed with confusion for Hyp's 180°.

"Here you go." Hyp gives the flowers back.

"Come on friends, let's go to the clearing where Saurus rock can be seen, I have my own treesweet stash there."

"Wow really?" Mutt said looking enthusiastic.

"You rock Hyp!" Nod shouts!

"Do you want to join Spike? There is enough for us all." Hyp asked with a polite voice.

Spike shakes his head declining.

"Alright then. Enjoy your flowers! Tata!" Hyp waves to Spike as he skips away with his two friends following behind him.

"I...don't get what happened." Mutt said being confused over Hyp's sudden shift in behavior.

"Me neither, but hey, treesweets for all of us!" Nod said excitedly.

Okay… That was odd of Hyp, but hey, it's a step in the right direction so Spike isn't complaining. Now! Onward to Thicknose!



---



Unbeknownst to Spike… The two dastardly egg stealing brothers have managed to sneak right back into the Great Valley.

“Ozzy…” Moaned a tired Strut.

“What is it you buffoon?” Said an annoyed Ozzy.

“It’s been a day since we’ve eaten anything? Can I have some green food again?” Strut looked very exhausted from not eating.

“We should be only eating that garbage when we’re desperate… And it’s not even that good! We’ve tried so hard to get back into the valley and I am going to use every opportunity I can to get some of those delicious eggs!” Said Ozzy eagerly licking his beak.

“Well… Hate to break it to you, but maybe the greens taste bad to you is because they aren’t good greens?”

“All greens aren’t good you fool!” Ozzy snaps!

“Ozzy!” Strut is in shock!

“What!?” Ozzy brings himself beak to beak with Strut.

“It’s the spiketail! The one from those group of hatchlings!” Strut points.

“ACK!” Ozzy dives into the bush close to them with Strut following suit.

Odd… Spike could have sworn he heard some familiar voices… Oh well… He continues on… Unaware he accidentally dropped one of the flowers.

“That was close… Those hatchlings are a curse…Especially that sharptooth one. Hopefully he won’t be here, especially after what happened.” Ozzy said, unaware that Chomper is in the Great Valley with Ruby. That’s what you get for missing out on 12 sequels and a TV show season.

“My look at this…” Strut is amazed at the flower Spike dropped. “It looks so tasty…” Strut gives it a small sniff. “What a unique smell too...”

“Baah” Ozzy swipes the flower out of Strut’s hand and gives it a sniff himself. “Smells like leafeater waste!” He then stomps on the flower! Grinding it into the dirt!

Strut suddenly furrowed his eyes into an angry look. “That’s because your always so pick with your senses! With you, it’s always this! Eggs this and eggs that! We almost got killed so many times over it!” Strut suddenly snapped.

Ozzy is shocked that his brother suddenly snapped at him. He wants to snap back, but for some reason, he couldn’t deny that his brother was right this time. “Well true, but it’s for… well… I don’t…” Ozzy for the first time ever didn’t know how to respond.

“For what? Have you ever even tasted eggs before!? How do you know they're good to risk skin and bone for?”

“Well… I actually… haven’t…” Ozzy said nervously. He made it all up… He never actually managed to steal an egg before… He always wanted to eat one and he dragged his brother to help him.

“I should have known! Brother! This must stop! I am gonna save you from yourself! Come with me, and I’ll do what I should have done a long time ago!” He says in a determined fashion grabbing Ozzy’s paw and dragging him.

Ozzy gulps. “Okay, Strut…” Ozzy willingly goes along with his brother.



---


On his way, Spike notices that several familiar looking treesweets have fallen onto the ground… Must of been because of that skywater a day ago. He looks up and sees it's the treesweet tree that is used for nibbling day! Those tree sweets are irresistible! He is about to set the flowers on the ground when suddenly Cera's dad, Mr Threehorn storms right in. "Stop right there you!"

Spike freezes like ice as the Threehorn stops his charge and looks down at Spike.

"Oh… It's you... Spike… Spike the Spiketail… Spiketail Spike." Mr. Threehorn suddenly laughs a little as if he thought of something funny. Spike didn't understand… but he laughed too. Mr. Threehorn then remembered what he was gonna say and clears his throat. "Alright Spike,I know about your appetite, but even you should be aware that this tree is off limits until Nibbling Day… Not that I expect it to stop you… Anyways, let go of those treesweets."

Spike didn't think it was fair that the treesweets on the ground couldn't be picked. Many believe Threehorn does his tree defending job too well. They rather prefer it when he keeps an eye out for sharptooth around the entrances. Spike let's go of the flowers to show to Mr. Threehorn that they weren't treesweets.

Mr. Threehorn is stunned when he saw the flowers. "Huh, never seen treesweets like those… Just where did you-" Before he could finish his sentence the Threehorn smelled the flower and he froze.

Spike tilt his head. Did Mr. Threehorn recognize the flower? Is it bad??

Suddenly a smile erupted onto Mr. Threehorn's face and his eyes glittered. "Oh boy! Oh boy! I just remembered! Mr. Clubtail should be near the Roaring Falls right now, I hope we can play together today! Oh boy! Oh boy!"

Mr. Threehorn seems to be in high spirits. Good for him! Spike thought before picking up the flowers and continuing on.


---


Today is a great day! Everyone who is usually mean and grumpy is happy and kind! Spike thought as he happily walks across the forest.

"Spike! Look out!" Shouted a familiar voice.

Spike quickly turns to find the voice only to hit a flying seed with his tail like a bat! The seed is sent flying straight to… Guido! "OOW!" Guido is struck out of the air while doing a practice flight.

"Guido!" Cera and Chomper shouts running over to check on their friend. Rhett, who was also with the two, runs with them. He and Ali’s herd are currenting resting at the valley for a bit. It’s his second visit since Rhett first meet Littlefoot and friends. He quickly got along with them as he learned his lesson about telling tales and decided to instead tell stories for fun rather than to make himself appear to be a hero.

Spike turns around and he almost drops his flowers to see Guido fall right onto a bush! Spike wanted to ask what happened, but fortunately Guido asked for him. "Better work on, “watching surroundings”... What happened?" He said dizzily.

"Spike happened." Cera said looking at Spike unamused.

Spike nervously gives an innocent grin with the flowers in his mouth.

"Cera, Spike didn't mean to have done what he has done." Ruby said.

"Yeah it was an accident." Chomper nodded in agreement.

"For an accident, that was quite a hit." Rhett said being impressed.

"Yeah… It was so dazzling, I can see stars…" Guido said in his daze.

Spike nuzzles Guido and helps him up.

"Hehe… Thanks Spike." Guido said having recovered.

"Heh, sorry." Cera apologized.

Spike nodded in understanding. He knows Cera usually doesn't mean any harm despite her sarcasm.

"Ah! Spike there you are!" Littlefoot said with Petrie, Ali, and Ducky behind him.

"We were worried about you, oh yes we were." Ducky said.

Spike gave them a guilty look remembering how he just left his mother's nest in the morning.

"Where did you go?" Petrie asked.

"Wherever he went, it looks he discovered something." Cera said pointing out the flowers Spike had.

"Wow, I never seen flowers like that before." Ali said amazed.

Spike drops so he can show them off.

"Amazing find Spike! I don't think these grow around here." Littlefoot said being unable to recognize them.

"Is it safe to eat them?" Petrie asked.

Spike tilts his head. He is unsure. That is why he was on his way to Thicknose.

"You don't know?" Littlefoot is confused. Usually Spike knows what is good… Except for Stink weeds, that's an odd story right there.

"Spike usually knows for sure. His appetite is never wrong." Cera explained.

"Hmm…" Ali sniffs the flowers curiously and then she spoke at a fast speed. "Not so bitter not so sweet, a little spicy, but not too dry. Has a little water from the wet morning, after the skywater presumably, may have grown in a clearing of a forest or in the flatlands or-"

"Wow, wow, Ali. could you explain what you think more… simply?" Rhett asked.

"I don't think I have enough evidence to decide whether or not the flowers have toxins." Ali explained shaking her head.

"...Okay…" Littlefoot did not know what to think of that.

"I know I am a Sharptooth and I don't like greens. But maybe if it smells bad to me, then it may be good for the rest of you." Chomper suggested.

"Excellent idea Chomper." Ali said nodding.

"You really don't have to do this if you don't like it Chomper." Ruby said in concern.

"It's no problem. It can't be worse than those treesweets in the Hidden Canyon right?" Chomper sniffed them. "...grrrRRRRAAAAR!!" He roared.

Everyone jumped and stepped back.

"Ch-chomper, you okay?" Petrie asked nervously.

Chomper turned to them grinning crazily prompting everyone to shiver in fear. "Never better!" He shouts before kicking the seed! He runs and destroys a nearby log with his legs. "I AM THE KING OF THE SHARPTEETH!! ROOOAAAAARR!!"

"...I prefer Chomper the friendly Sharptooth over Chomper the frenzied Sharptooth." Guido said shaking.

"Just what is with these flowers?" Ruby sniffed.

"Maybe Chomper just needed to let out some destructive energy." Cera said before taking a sniff.

Ruby suddenly frown and sulked. "Oh Cera… How could you say what you said? Chomper is always so peaceful."

"Oh, I am so sorry Ruby… I really care for both you and Chomper." Cera then nuzzles Ruby.

"Thanks…" Ruby said still frowning in a deep tone.

The others look in concern for Ruby's sudden mood shift.

Rhett approaches Ruby. "Ruby cheer up. I haven’t known Chomper for long, but I am sure he is just-" and the scent of the flower then hits Rhett. "Being a cool daddio, feeling the beat of his heart and letting himself fly."

"I don't know what daddio means…" Ruby sulks.

Ducky slowly walks towards the three with a concerned look as Petrie and Littlefoot follow. "Are you all alright? Why are you acting- AAAAHH!! A STINGING BUZZER!!" Ducky flees in terror!!... From a normal fly…

"A stinging buzzer! Let me at them! Let me at them!" Petrie shouted getting into a boxing stance!

"Ducky my gal, don't be alarmed! It's merely a normal buzzer." Littlefoot said in… some kind of accent?

"A fly to be exact." Said Ali.

"A fly? Dear me, I have never heard of a verb being a name before on memory."

"Why can't any word be a name? What if someone wants to be called fly?" Ruby said as Cera continues to cuddle with her.

Spike is frozen and flabbergasted… This feels wrong… Very… very wrong



---



"AAAAAHH!! CREEPY CRAWLIES!!" Ducky screamed as she passed by Petrie's mom watching her kids flying about with friends.

The motherly flyer overhears the two words she dreaded most. The delivery from Ducky didn’t help. "CREEPY CRAWLIES?? CREEPY CRAWLIES!?" She shouts in a panic as she flies up! "CREEPY CRAWLIES!!” She shouts flying past her kids.

“Is that your mom?” asked one of the other fliers to one of Petrie’s brothers.

The brother pterodactyl takes a deep breath. “Yes…”

“Wow… Those must of been pretty big creepy crawlies.”



---



Mr. Clubtail was enjoying the sweet bubbles his friend Kosh shared. Kosh usually isn’t the type to share, but has a soft spot for Mr. Clubtail. He was the one who taught him how to defend himself.  “Ahh all of the sweet bubbles to myself and nothing to ruin the day… Thank you Kosh.” Then he heard a recognizable rumble. “Not him again…” He muttered.

Mr. Threehorn comes to a sliding stop. His tail wags. “Hi Mr. Clubtail!’

“Not this again too!” Mr. Clubtail blinks.

“For the last time, I don't share my sweets with anyone. If you wish to duel me for them, then I suggest-”

“Duel? A duel would be fun! Yes!” Mr. Threehorn wags his tail even more.

Mr. Clubtail is caught off guard by his reaction. “...Okay?…” Suddenly Mr. Threehorn pushed him over with one quick and strong push! “ARGH!”

“I win!” Threehorn shouted happily.

“Wha- What was that?” Mr. Clubtail panically tries to get up.

“I rolled you. You want to roll?

“Wha- I-” Mr. Clubtail is so shocked, he is unable to form a proper response.

“Let’s play, let’s play!” Mr. Threehorn then began to roll Mr. Clubtail about!

“Ugh! Help! Help! It’s finally happened! The Threehorn lost his top!” Mr. Clubtail shouted in horror!



---



Elsewhere Spike is trying to comprehend what is happening. Littlefoot is arguing with Ali about stuff he can’t comprehend. Cera is trying to cuddle with Rhett and Ruby. Rhett has reached a level of calm that not even Grandpa Longneck can reach. Ruby is seeing the pond half empty. Petrie is wrestling a small… Great Hideous Beast, that’s what the small fuzzies called him. Ducky has become the new Petrie but even more scared, and Guido… Is still Guido.

“Spike... I am scared… I think we should get going.” Guido turns to have seen Spike already leave with the flowers.

“Glad you agree.” Guido runs away behind Spike.

Spike knows he doesn’t understand everything. He doesn’t know why the great circle rises, he doesn’t know why Mr. Threehorn likes arguing, or why Fast Biters can get easily tickled. But based on everything that has happened, he knows one thing. The flowers! They did something to his friends! It must be why Screech, Thud, Hyp, and Mr. Threehorn got so nice! Mr. Thicknose has to know how he can fix things. He can’t bear to see his friends act so untrue to themselves and he dreads that it’ll only create even more problems.



---



Red Claw stomps around the outside of the Great Valley, or what he likes to call, the Great Buffet. He wonders if the massive skywater yesterday managed to loosen any rocks to create an entrance. He also wonders whatever happened to his partners, Screech and Thud. It is unlike them to be gone for so long. As odd as it is for a sharptooth, he hopes that they are still alright, those two never let him down in the most dire of situations. With their skill, they can take down a huge longneck by themselves in moments. Their unparalleled cooperation is what makes them truly unbeatable… He takes it back, he found them and they are fighting… The sharptooth sighs… Wait? Is that... laughter? The huge titan stomps over and see that they aren’t just fighting… They are tickle fighting like hatchlings… How disgraceful… If they aren’t gonna act like serious hunters then he’ll take whatever he gets to himself. He leaves them and continues to trek around the wall to the more barren side. The side that is extra rocky, yet silent... That’s when he noticed some instability… If he plays his cards right he could take down the wall with no one being none the wiser on the other side… This is his chance… At last! The Great Valley is his! Once he is done, he’ll go down as a sharptooth legend for the end of time!



---



Meanwhile, Tria is searching for Topps with Tricia. He wasn’t guarding the Nibbling Day tree like he usually does, so something is off. “Oh my! Mr. Clubtail!” Tria is shocked to see Mr. Clubtail upside down.

“Help me… I feel sick…” Mr. Clubtail said in a weak tone.

Tria rushes to push Mr. Clubtail rightside up.

Tricia tries to push alongside her mother to help.

Tria manages to bring Mr. Clubtail back on his belly. “Alright there… Thanks Tricia…” She smiles at her daughter prompting a delighted giggle. “Are you alright Mr. Clubtail?” Tria asked.

“Not really… It appears that you lover was in a bit of a feisty mood.”

“Oh my! Not Topsy… You’re certain?” Tria said with slight agitation in her voice over the possibility that Topsy started a fight.

“Can’t say… He wasn’t himself.”

Tria puts on a look of concern. “I am gonna have a word with him…”

“I don’t think he’ll stay and listen.”

“What makes you say that?” Tria usually manages to talk sense into Topsy whenever he does or is about to do something silly.

“OOOHH I FEEL SO HAPPY!! I WANT EVERYONE TO SEE!” Sung the joy filled Mr. Threehorn as he pranced around.

Tria and Tricia’s mouths drop.

Mr. Clubtail sighs. “That’s why…”

“IT’S LIKE THE BRIGHT CIRCLE, IS SHINING INSIDE OF MEEEEE!!”

The singing was so horrible all of the dinosaurs around either covered their ears with hands, with bushes, or with treestars on top of trees. Some even dive their heads or themselves into the water.

“Argh! It feels like my head is gonna explode!” Guido said laying on Spike.

Spike merely cringes and shivers at the horrible singing. He better get to Mr. Thicknose fast.



---



Mr. Thicknose was inspecting a cocoon that was once a hairy crawler. “Fascinating…”

“Mr. Thicknose!” Shouted Guido as he arrived on Spike.

“Hmm… yes?” Thicknose’s eyes are glued onto the cocoon.

“It’s terrible, it’s absolutely terrible! You’ll never believe it!” Guido shouted.

“Oh!” Thicknose turned around and sees Spike and Guido. “Spike!... uhh.”

“Guido.” Guido only met Thicknose once when he was trying to figure out who he was... He didn’t help by the way, but he hopes he can help them with the current problem.

“Guido! What’s wrong?”

“Our friends started acting weird all of the sudden, and we have no clue what’s happening to them!” Guido said in a panic.

That isn’t true… It’s the flowers! Here’s hoping Thicknose will put two and two together. He drops them.

Thicknose sees the flowers and in a moment, he gasps! “Those flowers… They can’t be real… I only heard about something like them once. I thought it was a made up story!”

“Huh? the flowers?” Guido is clueless.

“They say whoever smells these flowers turn into a completely different dino and will act in strange ways… Have you or Spike sniffed them?”

Guido backs off of Spike and away from the flowers, covering his nose. “Well, I know I didn’t… But Spike did.”

Spike nods.

“Quick! Do you feel strange, anything different?”

Spike shakes his head. Now that he thinks about it, he felt the same like he always does.

“Phew… I guess it doesn’t affect Spiketails or you at the very least…” Thicknose turns to Guido. “But are you saying your friends are acting weird?” A terrifying thought dashed across Thicknoses’s mind. “Chomper! How’s Chomper doing!?”

“RAAAR!!” Two domeheads run away from Chomper screaming. “And don’t come back! These are my crawlies!” Chomper said violently eating a bunch of insects.

Thicknose has relaxed seeing that Chomper is still eating insects. Not as bad as it could be… That’s a relief.

“Yeah, he’s sort of mean now… So is Petrie, oh and Cera, well she isn’t mean, but she likes to cuddle...Oh there she is now.” Guido points to Cera who is now trying to cuddle Skitter.

“Cera! You’re crushing me!” Skitter the tinysaurus said in a panic as he is getting flattened onto the ground by Cera’s cuddles.

Lizzie the tinysaurus looks on suprised by Cera who is being… way more affectionate than normal. “Cera, you alright?”

“Cuddles!” She suddenly charges after Lizzie.

“Oohhh…” Lizzie knows what is gonna happen next as her pupils shrank.

“Run before she flattens yah with kindness Lizzie!” Shouts Skitter.

“AAHHH!!” Lizzie screams as she is being chased by the cuddling threehorn.

“I see…” Threehorn looks at Cera with concern.

“Don’t get me started about her dad, I think he is even worse with the flowers.”

Thicknose shivers. “Say no more. I wish I could help provide a cure, but I don’t know how.”

Spike gasps!

“You… don’t know a cure?…” Hopelessness starts to cover Guido’s face.

“I am afraid I don’t, the single time I heard it, a cure wasn’t mentioned.”

“Then our friends will be different dinos forever?” Guido is horrified!

“Or at the very least until the effects wear off, I hope.”

“Well I hope that… hopefully it will.” Guido is shocked by the whole thing.

Thicknose slowly approaches the flowers. “To be safe, I am gonna get rid of these flowers so that no one will…” Thicknose went still and looks at the smaller dinos in horror. “I sniffed them…”

Spike and Guido gasp!

“What I have I done… Why did I even come close? Why did I… Why am I here again…” He turns to the cocoon. “Oohh pretty…”

“Let’s go Spike… We should at least bury the flowers and warn everyone about them…” Guido said sadly.

Spike gives sad mumbles as they walk away.

The cocoon suddenly opens up and to Thicknose’s surprise, a butterfly appears.

“Wow… Where did you come from…” Thicknose said in amazement. “Do you know what happened to the little hairy guy that was with you.” He asked the butterfly.

The butterfly merely responds by landing on his nose and fluttering.

“I don’t get it, but ooooohhh…” He looked in amazement.



---



“Come on Ozzy! Look at this bush! Such a tasty combination of greens and sweet bubbles wouldn’t you agree?” Said Strut being amazed by the bush.

“I don’t know.” Ozzy is unsure.

“Well you will know in a moment.” Strut said picking off a branch. “Try this.” He shoves the branch in Ozzy's face.

“Okay…" Ozzy slowly takes the branch from Strut and very slowly takes a bite of the greens… He chews… "Hmm… Mmmm…" and swallows. "Oh… Oh! Strut! I like these greens! I do! I do!" Ozzy then eats the branch clean.

"I am so proud of you brother! Let us feast together!" Strut said loud and proud.

The two brothers eat in the bushes, unaware that Guido and Spike are passing by.



---



Guido sighs in defeat as he lays on top of Spike. “Looks like we have to break the news… to everyone… Hey Grandpa Longneck, don’t mind Littlefoot, he is only going through a phase that will only last for the rest of his life.” He almost breaks into tears.

“Eeehh..” Spike grumbled.

“I know, I know, it’s only the worst case scenario… But the idea scares me so much.”

Spike nods, he couldn’t agree more… If there was only something that they could do about it.

“Well... Who do you think should know first?” Guido asked.

“GUIDO!!”

“Uh, I am the one asking the- wait... Oh no.” Guido sits up and folds his hands around his eyes like binoculars.

It’s Mr. Threehorn! And he is charging towards them! “Wanna play!? Wanna play!?” He said very excitedly with his tail wagging like a dog.

“HOLY SMOKEY MOUNTAIN!” Guido flips out! He jumps off of Spike and runs for it! “GAAAAH!! I DON’T WANNA PLAY!”

“Play Guido! Play!” Shouted Topps!

Guido jumps into the water surrounding the Roaring Falls and Topps follows suit! “WEEE!!” He dives into the water.

“Topsy!” Tria who was following Topps from behind with her daughter, dashes to the water.

“Where are you Topsy!?” She looks around worryingly.

Topps then emerges from the water, spitting some out. “Wha-What happened? Where’s the tree?”

“Topsy! Your alright!” Tria said in relief with Tricia cheering.

“And what about me?” Guido is right on top of Topps looking angry at the fact Tria didn’t pay attention to the fact that Topps was chasing him.

“Sorry Guido, I thought you flew away.”

Guido blinks. “Oh… I could have done that… Fair enough.” He feels slightly embarrassed now.

“Uhh Tria… Did… I do something?” Topps asked.

“You did a lot... You were acting like a hatchling. You got Mr. Clubtail upside down, you danced around, and you even sang!”

“I...did?...” Topps blushes.

“I wish you didn’t, but it’s the truth."

“Did I at least sing good?”

Tria merely shakes her head.

“Ohh…” Topps is disappointed. “But I don’t understand, what has gotten into me.”

Guido wanted to say it was the flowers doing, but Tria responded first.

“You’ve been spending so much time guarding that tree lately, you’ve must of overworked yourself…”

“You're probably right… I’ve been obsessing over it so long because of what happened last time, I got myself carried away.”

“I was actually gonna tell you that Pat has taken upon himself to guard the tree and that you can take a break.”

Although Topps wasn't sure about Pat doing the job, he sure needed a vacation. “Well... that couldn’t have come at a better time. I should go and rest. We can plan for tomorrow, soon."

"Sounds like a plan." Tria said happy for her husband while Tricia jumps into the water to swim around him, happy that he is normal again.

Guido just shrugs and gets off of Topps not wanting to interrupt their moment.

Spike tilts his head. Mr. Threehorn returned to his normal self after he fell into the water… Could it be? A lightbulb… or bright circle shines in his head because time period.

Spike goes to sip up the water.

Guido is wondering how Topps returned to his old self when he sees Spike slurping. “Eww, you could at least drink from the river. The water is cleaner and LESS have swam in it.”

Spike just eye’s Guido for not figuring it out yet, but he puts his mind back on the rescue mission. First priority is Chomper, if he scares a leafeater that is aggressive towards Chomper due to him being a sharptooth, it could end badly. He runs to find the young sharptooth.

“Spike! Don’t run with your mouth full!” Guido shouts worried for Spike’s well being.



---



“AAAAAHH!!” Wild arms is curled up onto the ground as Chomper roars on top of him.

“I AM CHOMPER! HEAR ME ROOOOAAR!” Chomper roars as loud as he can...

Spike almost gasps upon seeing this, but quickly remembers he has water in his mouth.

“Hey Spike! You gonna show me a good fight?” Chomper said looking a Spike with a scarily aggressive smile.

Spike merely responds by spitting water in his face.

“Gross!” Wild Arms covers his eyes.

“Eck!” Guido flinches having just arrived to see Spike spit.

“Ack! Wha- Spike?” Chomper who has returned to normal looks around and confused. “What- Wild Arms are you alright?”

“Well I was scared to death, but I guess I am fine.” Wild Arms said with sarcasm, shivering.



Guido then shows up and pushes Chomper away. “Please excuse Chomper, Willy (Willy is Guido’s nickname for Wild Arms). He was only playing. Okay? bye!”

“Wait, playing? What was I doing?” Chomper asked as Guido pushed him along.

Spike grumbles a good-bye.

“Umm… Bye?” Wild Arms waves a little before falling to the ground and giving a deep breath of relief. “My life is one insane moment after another.” He says agitatedly.



---



Guido catches Chomper up to speed. “The flowers make dinos act weird?” Chomper said worryingly hoping he misheard.

Spike and Guido nod.

“Did… I do anything bad?” Chomper looked horrified.

“You only scared the bright circle lights out of some dinos and Willy.” Guido said thinking Chomper would be relieved, only to look bad to see him sadden up.

“I didn’t mean to scare anyone…” Chomper looks down feeling guilty.

“It’s alright Chomper. We all know you’re a nice guy…” Guido said reassuringly. “If anyone thinks you’re scary, then we’ll say otherwise.”

Spike nods in agreement.

“Thanks guys…” Chomper’s face brightened up. “Wait… What about the others? Did they sniff the flowers too?”

“OH! The others! They’re in a trance too!” Guido shouts in a panic.

“Then we got to help!”

“A splash of water is the cure, so we need to gather some water!”

“That’s good. I can use my sniffer to find them fast.”

“Brilliant Chomper! Now we gotta go fast!”

Just as Guido said that, Spike took off!...While Guido, who was on Spike, holds on for dear life.

“AAAHH!! GO FAST SLOWER!” Guido shouts.

Chomper laughs as he follows after them.



---



A little later…

Hyp is happily eating and sharing his treesweets with his friends…

“Aww Geeh, thanks Hyp, you’re a great friend.”

“So are both of you.” He suddenly wraps the two in a hug.

Mutt embraces it while Nod tries to break free to continue eating the treesweets.

“Should we?... Hyp is much nicer now.” Chomper said to Guido as he and Spike carried a huge leaf filled with water.

“He is, but…well… I don't think it's right to have someone act differently against their will.”

Spike has a look of understanding and he turns to Chomper.

Chomper ponders about it for a moment. “You’re right.” He said agreeing.

The three make their way down to Hyp.

“Ahh, hello my friends! Care to join us?” Hyp said happy to see the three.

“Hyp, sorry…” Chomper said as he and Spike douse Hyp with Water!

“AIE!” Mutt is flabbergasted.

“Hyp!” Nod shouts.

Hyp spits out the water. “What’s the big idea!?” Hyp angrily shouts.

“Would you believe us if I said we were trying to help?” Guido asked smiling innocently.

Hyp growls…

“I thought that would be your response… GO! GO! GO!” Guido shouts as he, Spike, and Chomper book it!

“Why would they do that? Hyp was only being nice…” Mutt mutters. “Let’s fight water with water!”

Hyp and Nod turns to Mutt surprised by his sudden aggressiveness. “I don’t know what has gotten into you, but I like it.” Hyp grins evilly. “Let’s splash them!”

Mutt’s angry expression suddenly turned into one of delight.



---



“Aaahh! Cera please! I know I am fuzzy, but you don’t have to crush me!” Skip shouts as he is flattened by Cera’s cuddles.

“Hey Cera!” Chomper reveals himself to the Triceratops. “Why don’t you cuddle someone your own size!”

“Cuddles!” Cera dashes right towards Chomper!

Chomper then jumps out of the way, causing Cera to dash into a small pond. The water then splashes onto Ozzy and Strut who were behind the greens they were eating.

“Augh!” They both flinched.

“Oh my! You alright?” Skip asked Cera, who is in the pond.

“No I am not!” Cera shouts annoyed.

 Guido swoops down to Skip. “She’s alright.”

“Hello? Isn’t anyone gonna explain how I got here?” Cera asks in annoyance.

“Eh, it’s a story that I don’t think you’ll like.” Guido said shrugging.

Meanwhile behind the bushes.

Ozzy was about to speak “Weh…” he noticed that there is something in his mouth something delicious…

“Ozzy… You're eating greens…” Strut said in amazement.

Ozzy swallows. “WHAT!?” He didn’t know what to think, he was paralyzed in disbelief… The greens taste good though. “Maybe not all greens are bad… But I would prefer eggs.”

“Ozzy… You love them.” Strut said smuggingly.

“No I don’t.”

“You are grabbing a bunch right now.”

“Well I am starving okay!”

“You love them.”

Ozzy snaps in the most unexpected way. His voice cracks and he goes crazy eyed. “I LOVE THEM!! OH THANK YOU BROTHER!! OH I LOVE THEM! GREENS FOREVER!!” Ozzy stuffs a bunch of greens into his mouth.

Strut smiles at the sight of his brother’s crazed happiness as he continues to eat his own greens.

---

“So… I did that… You’re not making this up right?” Cera asked to be sure.

“Positive.” Guido nodded.

“It’s what happened.” So did Chomper.

Cera sighs… She feels so embarrassed. How do I explain this to Lizzie?... Cera asked herself mentally. “Okay, all I have to do is get them wet and they’re cured? Doesn’t seem hard.”

Spike sniffs… He recognizes his sister’s scent. “Agghh….” Spike groaned.

“Huh?” Chomper sniffs the air. “I smell Ducky... and I think Rhett is with her! They must be at the Calm Waters.”

“Hah! That makes it all the more easy. I can take care of them.” Cera sticks her head up in a confident fashion before darting off.

“Just please don’t push them in!” Guido shouts out to Cera.

“I am gonna push them in!” Cera shouts back.


---


Ruby is playing with a twig all alone and said as Ali and Littlefoot talk closeby.

“Now, madame Ali, if you are gonna call buzzers flies, treestars leaves, what would you call skywater.” Littlefoot said in a fancy accent.

“The more correct term for sky water would be rain, Littlefoot.”

“Fascinating… Then how about us longnecks then?”

“Well there are multiple kinds of longnecks, but you would be an Apatosaurus.”

“Sounds absolutely splendid. Such an intriguing name. we should share this to our folks before we forget.” Littlefoot said interested.

Unbeknownst to the two small longnecks Hyp and his gang are hiding.

“Shouldn’t we go after Chomper, Spike, and Guido?” Mutt asked not understanding Hyp’s idea.

“They probably planned it together. So let’s get them all. Hehe...” Hyp chuckled evilly. “Okay, one, two, now!”

“Oh dear!” Went Littlefoot!

“Oh goodness!’ Went Ali!

The two are drenched and back to normal.

“C-cold…” Ali shivers.

Littlefoot was enraged as he shivers himself. “Wh-What was that for Hyp!?”

“That’s for getting your friends to drench me.” Hyp said crossing his arms in satisfaction.

“My friends would never-”

“UGH!” Ruby shouts getting drenched. “Chomper? Guido? Spike? What’s the meaning with this sudden meanness?” She looked slightly angry.

“Uhh…” Littlefoot looks back to Hyp who is smug.

“Sorry Ruby, but I am glad your not sad anymore.” Chomper hugs Ruby.

Ruby didn’t know what to think, but it doesn’t seem Chomper meant harm so she hugs the sharptooth back.

“That’s one way to cheer someone up, I guess...” Ali commented.

“Let’s go and get some more water!” Shouted Hyp right as he runs off with Nod and Mutt behind him.

“Hehe, this is fun!” Mutt said happily.

Littlefoot approaches the four. “Chomper, Guido, Spike?”

The three turn to Littlefoot.

“Can you three explain why you’ve dumped water on Hyp and Ruby?” Littlefoot said looking disappointed in them.

“Do you remember the flowers from earlier?” Chomper asked.

“The flowers?... Oh! I remember! Spike showed us those mysterious flowers!” Ali remembered.

Spike is happy they recalled. They must of already turned back to normal while they were away.

“Yeah, and soon after Chomper sniffed them, he got all tough, and then Ruby, Cera, and Rhett acted funny too.” Littlefoot said as he recalled.

“I acted funny?” Ruby tilted her head.

“The flower made you very sad so we had to snap you out of it.” Chomper explained.

"Thanks.” Ruby smiled.

“The flower made you all act in bizarre ways. We got Hyp and Mr. Threehorn, but Ducky, Rhett, Petrie, and Thicknose are still under the flowers effects.” Guido explained the situation.

“Thicknose and Cera’s dad too?” Littlefoot looked worried.

“Where are the flowers now Guido?” Ali asked concerned.

“Spike and I have them buried right in Thicknose’s place.”

“We should take care of the others first. Where’s Cera?” Littlefoot asked.

“She is taking care of Ducky and Rhett as we speak. They are at the Calm Waters.” Guido points to the Calm Waters.


---


Meanwhile

“Come on Ducky, go with the flow.” Rhett said sounding like a surfer dude.

“The water looks so cold and scary… AAAHH! TWIG!” Ducky jumps!

Rhett calmly talks to Ducky. “You feel nervous at first, but if you take a deep breath like me…”

The two takes deep breaths and exhale.

“You’ll feel more calm and brave.”

Ducky calms. “Thanks… I think I feel-”

“GOTCHA!” Cera exclaimed!

“AAAHH!!” The dinos jump and fall into the water! They quickly resurface and immediately turn to “Cera!” They shout looking upset at her.

“Hehe, welcome back.” She said smugly.


---


The gang head to the calm waters when…

“CHARGE!” Guido is tackled by Petrie!

“AAAHH! PETRIE! IT’S ME! GUIDO!” Guido shouts as he tries to get the crazed flyer off him.

“Petrie is biggest toughest flyer in world! ME STRONGEST!” Petrie pulls on the feathers on Guido’s head.

“Petrie stop!” Littlefoot shouts to him.

“No one tells Petrie what to do!” Petrie bops Littlefoot on the nose!… Doesn’t hurt at all, fortunately.

Spike is quick to notice a puddle that has formed from the skywater yesterday and quickly pushes both Guido and Petrie in!

“Guido?... Did we crash in puddle?” Petrie was confused.

“Yeah, let’s go with that.”

“Glad to have you back Petrie.” Littlefoot said relieved.

“Thanks Spike.” Guido pet’s Spike on the head making the dino give a happy mumble.

“Oh Spike there you are! There you are!”

That voice! Ducky! Spike charges over and nuzzles his sister.

“Cera told us everything… This sounds like quite the story.” Rhett says happily.

“Don’t you dare tell any stories about this!” Cera said to Rhett who looks at Cera without much care.

Spike then nuzzles Cera, thankful that she brought Ducky back to normal. “Hey, hey, you’re welcome alright?” Cera sounded annoyed, but couldn’t help but smile.

“All that leaves is Mr. Thicknose.” Ruby pointed out.

“I don’t think it’ll be hard to get him into the water. Everything is gonna turn out just fine…”

SUDDENLY THE GREAT VALLEY WALL CRUMBLES!! RED CLAW BURSTS THROUGH!! A RUMBLE IS SENT QUAKING THROUGHOUT THE VALLEY AS A THUNDEROUS ROAR FILLS THE AIR!!



The entire gang is paralyzed at what’s occurred. THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS HAPPENED!



“...Never again will I assume anything…” Guido said in a frozen state.

TO BE CONTINUED---> (Insert Roundabout theme here)
« Last Edit: January 15, 2020, 01:07:43 PM by Goldenwind »

Goldenwind

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2020, 08:12:18 PM »
Last Time on Spike's Misadventure, something horrible has happened! Red Claw has managed to break his way into the valley thanks to rocks loosening from the heavy rain. Now the situation has never before been so dangerous.

“RED CLAW!!!” Screamed Chomper!

“Red Claw?” One leafeater went.

“Red Claw!?” Big Daddy Tinysaurus pokes out from the ground hearing the horrifying name.

“Red Claw!?” Mama Swimmer quickly grabs as many of her countless number of kids together before stepping away.

“RED CLAAAAW!!!!” Mama Flyer and her children are shaken to see Red Claw suddenly break through the valley wall from the air.

“Red Claw…” Grandpa Longneck was horrified to hear that name shouted out. Has he finally broke into the safe haven?

“Dear… The kids…” Grandma Longneck said scared for the worst.

“I’ll find them, help rally as many as you can… If worse comes to worse, our numbers will be our last line of defense...” Grandpa Longneck said, dreading the idea that Red Claw could easily tear through an entire fighting herd like treestars.

“Alright, please come back safe…” Grandma longingly looks at Grandpa as he runs off before quickly hurrying to get together as many brave leafeaters as she can.

Tricia hides behind her dad hearing Red Claw roar.

“Topsy…” Tria turns to her love.

Tricia goes to father looking worried and scared.

Topps is expressionless… “Tricia, go with your mother… I have a fight to finish.”

Tria gasps. “You can’t…”

“I’ll do all in my power to come back in one piece… go with the other leafeaters who are on the otherside of the valley.” He charges off.

“Topsy!” Tria knew Topps fought sharpteeth before… but this is Red Claw...

“Please be safe Cera…” Topps mutters as he charges off.

“No… It’s the end of great valley!” Petrie screams.

“AND US!” Guido breaks down on his knees with his hands covering the sides of his face. “WE’RE SHARPTEETH FOOD!!”

Ruby is in a shocked trance, having seen Red Claw plow through the valley wall. “Why?...Why now?… Why today?… Why?”

“That’s Red Claw… He is even more terrifying than from the stories I heard.” Rhett said awestruck to see such terror.

Red Claw rushes towards them!

“SCATTER AND HIDE!” Littlefoot shouts.

All the dinos scatter about in the greens… Red Claw goes overpast.

“He ignored us?” Cera doesn’t understand.

“His mind is on another target… I heard him roar out “I got you Longneck”! He must of seen your grandpa Littlefoot!” Chomper exclaims!

“Not Grandpa!” Littlefoot is horrified and immediately sprints after the Behemoth sharptooth.

“We’re coming too!” Shouts Ali as everyone follows… Except for Spike.

Ducky see’s Spike not moving and quickly rushes back to him. “Spike… I know this is very scary, but we got to help somehow… Spike?”

Spike suddenly has an idea… A crazy idea… He has seen how the mysterious flowers pacified Screech and Thud… What if he used it on Red Claw?... Spike knew what he must do. A spark of determination flares through his Spiketail eyes as he charges bravely to where he buried the flowers.

“Spike!” Ducky runs after her brother!



---


A silly Thicknose bumbles about. “Hmm… What’s with all that noise? Ohh… Red Claw… Wait… He has a scar on his face… Shouldn’t his name be Scarface?” He watches Red Claw past him.

Red Claw has only one thing on his mind, to get revenge on the Longneck, the Threehorn, and the kids… The Longneck and Threehorn go first, they are the biggest threats to him as of now.

“Red Claw…” Grandpa Longneck walks up to the monstrosity.

Red Claw responds with a growl.

“I see your lackies aren’t with you… Screech and Thud ain’t it?”

Red Claw didn’t fully understood, but he knew he was asking about his partners. He would prefer to have them with him, especially since they managed to get into the valley before. But considering they’re… not well, he is gonna fight solo… Which to him, makes it all the more exciting.

“You’re outmatched you know…” Mr. Threehorn emerges, lifting confidence onto Grandpa Longneck. “Although I expect you to be prepared… After what I heard and seen, nowadays I begin to doubt the saying that sharpteeth are dumb… How else could you have managed to have terrorized the Mysterious Beyond?”

Red Claw smirks, he must be saying some brave speech and that he won’t underestimate him… Well… They’re last fight was nothing… This time, a moment won’t even pass before he falls with silence.

“No matter what happens, we won’t allow it to end with the valley falling…” Grandpa takes a battle stance.

Threehorn does so too.

Red Claw has a crazy violent look as he takes vicious sounding breathes.

“...Is there anything about Red Claw’s movements I should know?” Grandpa asked hoping Mr. Threehorn picked up anything from their last fight.

“...Unfortunately no, he is unpredictable… Honestly I hate to say it, but it was a miracle I lasted as long as I did.” Topps sweats… Sweats that represented the fear hidden under his determined look.

Grandpa takes a deep breath. “...Let’s hope for a miracle then.”

Red Claw charges!

Topps roars and the two leafeaters engage.

The Great Valley gang watch from the sidelines as they duke it out.

“If only I could help…” Littlefoot said, feeling powerless. He and the gang wished he could help, but this time, no sharptooth repelling treesweets can save them… Besides, it’ll take more than treesweets to scare away Red Claw this time.

“Come on guys…” Cera hopes for her dad to make it in one piece.


---


Spike frantically searches for where he buried the flowers. If he doesn’t find them soon…

Thicknose appears “Oh hello Spike… Did you see Red Claw?” He said acting tone-deaf to the situation.

Spike makes agitated noises as he jumps into a nearby puddle angrily splashing Thicknose.

“Ack!... The flower! The flower? Spike?” Thicknose then looks up. “A sharptooth!?” Thicknose recognizes the red markings. “RED CLAW!!” He turns to Spike. “Spike you have to leave! Now!”

Spike shakes his head.

Thicknose was taken aback. He wasn’t expecting Spike to behave this way with what’s happening. “Spike… What are you doing?” He asked wondering if he has anything planned.

Just then, Spike recognized the tree and quickly digs at it. The flowers! He has the flowers!

“Spike… That’s so brilliant… Insane, yet brilliant.”

Spike smiles to see that Thicknose knows what he is doing. He immediately makes a mad dash to where the battle was happening.


---


“ARGH!” Topps flew right into Grandpa by a strong and unexpected tail swipe!

“Ahh! I hurt my leg!” Grandpa said struggling to get up.

The gang gasps!

“C-come on get up!” Littlefoot is in shock to see his grandpa and Cera’s dad get defeated!

“Get up! The both of you get up! You have to win! You gotta!” Cera cried out!

“Darn it… No Sharptooth should be that quick… AAAHH!” Red Claw steps on top of Topps.

“DADDY!!” Cera is horrified for her father’s life!

“Stay back Cera! AUGH!” Topps is being crushed by Red Claw!

This Threehorn made him cry… for that he shall suffer! Wait, that rumble… Red Claw just barely dodges a charging Threehorn! “Grr…”

“You want them? Try your luck on me first… But I must warn you… I can be cruel when I want to…” It was Tria!

“Tria…” Topps couldn’t believe she actually came to their aid. She has never fought the “Sharptooth” before. She only managed to hold off some Fast Biters with Topps’s help.

“Don’t worry, Tricia’s safe with Ms. Flyer. I also got some help while I was at it.”

Pat and Grandma Longneck join in!

“Honey…” Tears emerge from Grandpa Longneck’s eyes.

“Don’t worry dear… We’ll take it from here.” Grandma said softly.

“Now none of us are the lone dino, but if we work as a team, I am sure we can hold em’ off.” Pat said.

“As long as we stand, we won’t sit by and let Red Claw dominate us!” Tria shouts.

Littlefoot, Cera, and Petrie cry out in wonderment!

“Grandma!”

“Mom!”

“Pat!”

“Ducky! Spike!” Guido exclaims!

“Huh?” Everyone looks at Guido.

“I just realized! They aren’t with us!”

Everyone gasps, just then Ducky comes up panting exhaustedly. “Oh Spike… He has taken off… I… Don’t know where he went… I don’t! I don’t!” Ducky breaks into tears.

“AAAHH!”

The gang turn back to the battle! “Grandma!” Littlefoot is horrified to see his grandmother on the ground.

“Drat! You alright?” Tria asked as he dodges Red Claw, embracing his next attack.

“I’ll survive... Continue without me…” Grandma passes out.

“No…” Grandpa moves his neck towards his unconscious partner and lays his head on her...

“It’s like fighting a sharpteeth army!” Pat exclaimed in horror.

“Don’t give up hope, do the best you can.” Tria said to Pat.

“I wish… but I feel like the moment I close in… It’ll be the end!”

“...Same for me…” Tria mutters with a sweat drop. She quickly manages to pull in for an attack, but Red Claw expects it and nearly bites Tria’s head off. “Ah!”

“MOM!!” Cera screams!

“TRIA!!” Mr. Threehorn shouts.

“If I reacted any slower…” Tria could no longer focus on the battle. She and Pat are too stressed to continue efficiently. Out of all the sharpteeth battles, this one is the most one sided.

“I can’t look anymore… I am sorry…” Rhett turns away.

“No one will blame you Rhett…” Cera said feeling just as hopeless.

“I am glad Spike’s not here to see this…” Ducky said covering her eyes.

“Spike… Spike is up there with the flowers!” Ruby points to a huge rock.

A beam of metaphorical light surrounds the spiketail as he drops the flowers… He has to draw the Sharptooth’s attention… And he knows only one way how… He built up all his strength and... “DUUUUCKY!!!” He screams!

Everyone, turns to Spike… Even Red Claw... There is a silence…

“DUUUUUCKYYYY!!!” He screams again.

“Ummm… Spike… I am over here.” Ducky waves.

“DUUUUCKKY!!!"

“What is going through that Spiketail’s head?” Topps said in disbelief.

“Spike?” Pat is shocked.

"I don't understand, why call for her sister in front of Red Claw?" Rhett is confused.

Ali quickly figures it out. "He isn't calling for Ducky… He is trying to lure Red Claw. Using the only way he knows how to speak."

"Spike… I hope your plan works…" Littlefoot mutters as he looks worryingly at his brave friend.

Red Claw quickly turns to him and recognizes the dino… He was the one who got himself covered in icky smelling mud that he couldn’t stand… He better not have done it again… He quickly goes over to smell to make sure…

“Oh no!” Tria and the rest gasps. It looked like Spike was gonna be eaten. Tria quickly acts and charges.

Suddenly the sharptooth smelled something funny, but he shook it off. He is just being paranoid, the Spiketail is just his normal self. Now to… SMACK! Tria grabs Red Claw by the tail using her mouth and smashes it to the ground!

Red Claw is silent… Tears begin to swell up… He began… to cry.

“Huh?” Tria let’s go.

“What the…” Pat couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Red Claw… the sharptooth of horror stories… The same one who put them on the ropes... is crying like a big hatchling.

Tria’s confidence returns when she sees Red Claw’s pathetic state. “Hurts huh? Well I got plenty of more where that came from… If you wish to taste test…” She gives a calm yet threatening look.

Red Claw shivers with his pupils being the size of peas. He runs away in a pathetic fashion grabbing onto his aching tail. “ARU! ARU! ARU!” He wailed like a crying seal as he jumps through the hole he came in.

“...That’s it?” Topps ask, being unable to believe it is over.

"I guess it is…" Pat responded.

A huge grin covers Topp's face… "You did it Tria! You’ve saved the Great Valley!”

"Could you settle down? I am trying to sleep here…" Said Grandma Longneck.

Grandpa Longneck lifts his head up and is relieved. "Glad that you're alright honey…" the two nuzzle. "...I could use a nap myself." Grandpa and Grandma then fall asleep right next to each other.

Littlefoot looks on relieved that both his grandparents are fine.

Mr. Threehorn got up excitedly. "Pfft. We should be closing off that- OW!" Mr. Threehorn falls down.

Tria jumped! "Topsy!"

"Dad!" Cera runs over to her dad.

Mr. Threehorn realizes he won't be doing much with that leg of his. "So vacation time has started..." Topps sweat drops as he lies on the ground. "...Terrific."

“Your gonna need some rest.” Tria said helping Topps up. “Let’s get you someplace comfortable.”

"Sh-should we tell them?" Guido asked, not wanting Spike to be left out.

"Nah… It doesn't seem appropriate right now… let them rest." Ali looks on to see Littlefoot running to Grandparents teary eyed, glad that they're safe.

Spike runs back to the group once he saw them from where he was standing.

"Spike!" Ducky jumps onto her brother's face and hugs it.

Spike delightfully grumbles, happy that everyone is safe.


---


Later on, the dinos of the Great Valley all work together to fix the wall Red Claw damaged. Fortunately it was a quick and worriless process with everyone working together. Grandpa and Grandma Longneck as well as Topps rest back at their nests and recovering from the fight. Ms. Swimmer, Ms. Flyer, and Mr. Clubtail are working side by side.

"With all these Sharpteeth breaking in, can we even call this a haven anymore?" Asked Mr. Clubtail as he pushed some rocks.

"Don't be like that." Ms. Swimmer said.

"Things always have a habit of working out around here." Ms. Flyer said as she flies up to assist construction.

Mr. Clubtail pouts. "I wish I got to fight Red Claw..."

Ms. Swimmer puts her arms on her hips. "You were cowering between rocks."

Mr. Clubtail blushed having been found out. "doh."


Meanwhile...


"How's my hero doing?" Tria asked as she checks on Topps. Cera and Tricia are beside their father.

"You're the hero around here you know. You got the big blow on Red Claw and made him run away like a hatchling." Topps said looking proud of Tria. He did teach her how to defend herself.

"Thanks, but I couldn't of done without everyone's help, that includes you and Grandpa Longneck. Pat, Grandma Longneck and I came to finish what you started." Tria dips her horn in some pine sap that was laid on a leaf.

"You think Thicknose is onto something?" Topps asked, finding Pine sap to treat injuries silly.

"He heard of a healer doing this once. If he thinks it could help, then I'll try it." She says being gentle.

Topps flinches.

"You alright daddy?" Cera asked concerned for her father.

"It stings a little, but don't worry, your mom knows what she is doing."

Tria warmly smiles.

"Cera, Tricia, how about you two check how things are doing for Littlefoot's grandparents? I am sure they'll be happy to see you."

"Thanks Daddy! Hope you get well soon!" Cera said nuzzling her father with Tricia who is giggling happily.

"Oh, before I forget, I want you to thank Spike for me."

"Huh?" Topps and Cera turn to Tria.

"It sounds silly, but if Spike didn't call out for Ducky when he did, I don't know what would have happened. If anyone deserves to be called a hero, it's him."

"You got that right." Cera knew Spike was the real one who got Red Claw packing.

"Huh…" Tria did have a point. "Tell him I said thanks too." Topps said.

Cera nods. "I will! See yah later!" Cera shouted as she ran off with Tricia.


---


The two old longnecks rest with their grandson sleeping by their side

"Thanks for keeping us company old one." Grandma Longneck said to her.

"I am just glad you two are making a steady recovery." The Old one turns to Grandma Longneck "You certainly have become brave, fighting Red Claw and all."

"Well I got it all from someone special." Grandma Longneck said looking at Grandpa with Grandpa nodding.

“You most certainly did.” The old one said having heard of Grandpa’s bravery before from a very special Longneck. “Sorry for leaving so soon. My herd is still shaken up over what happened earlier. So I can’t be far too long.”

“I understand. I wish for the best for your herd.” Grandma said.

“Me as well.” Grandpa followed up.

“Thanks.” The old one smiles as she slowly turns away. “...The Great Valley is such a miraculous place…” She mutters to herself.

Cera enters just as the old one left. “Heyah!”

“Hello Cera. Hello Tricia. Things are fine for us in case you're wondering.”

“That’s good. My dad wanted to me to see if your doing alright.”

Grandpa smiles. “I see.” Mr. Threehorn really does care for them, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. “Well I don’t think me and grandma are going anywhere for awhile.”

“I definitely agree with that. Though as long as we get some rest, we’ll be back up and moving sooner than later.”

Cera frowns “My dad is in a similar spot…"

Grandpa looked sorry. “Well tell him I hope he gets better soon.”

Cera rolls her eyes smirking, she has become the errand dino today. “I will, though I think he’ll blow it off.”

Grandpa laughs a little. “He probably would, knowing him.”

Cera looks away feeling slightly embarrassed before turning back and seeing the exhausted Littlefoot. “Is Littlefoot alright?”

“Oh don’t mind him. He stayed up all night watching over us.” Grandma explained.

“I didn’t want him to throw off his sleep patterns, but he was stubborn about it.” Grandpa said.

Cera smirks. “Stubborn in a good way, he really cares for you two.”

Grandma nods. “He surely does.”

Tricia goes and cuddles next to Littlefoot.

“Hey…” Cera looks at Tricia disapprovingly trying to hide her jealousy.

Littlefoot sleepily cuddles closer to Tricia.

Cera poutingly nudges Littlefoot awake.

“C-cera? Why did you wake me? I was having this great sleep story.”

“That’s why.” Cera said pointing her head at Tricia who is cuddling Littlefoot.

“Oh, hi Tricia.” Littlefoot smiles.

Tricia then jumps onto Littlefoot.

“Hey hehe! I don’t think I am big enough to carry you.” Littlefoot said having fallen down.

Cera sighs while Grandma and Grandpa Longneck chuckle a little at their cuteness.


----


Later that day.


“So your dad and Doc together go foot to foot with this gigantic white fast biter-like Sharptooth?” Cera asked to make sure she got the picture.

“Yeah, it was scary at first, but it was amazing. I can’t wait to tell Shorty about it when I see him again.” Littlefoot said excitedly.

“Just don’t tell Rhett, I have a feeling he’ll get jealous he didn’t come up with something like that on his own.” Cera explained.

Littlefoot's eyes roll “You might be right… Hey look!” He suddenly runs ahead. There was the rest of the gang with Rhett, Ali, and Thicknose. “Hey guys! Did we miss anything?”

“Not much Littlefoot, we were just deciding how to get rid of the flowers.” Rhett explained. The flowers were close to them, but far enough so that the smell doesn’t reach. Spike has carried them there.

“With all that chaos and relief I totally forgot them.” Cera said. She managed to apologize to Skip, Lizzie, and Skitter, but the embarrassment still remained.

“These flowers could be a powerful asset to the valley, as they drove Red Claw away… But at the same they could be a potential force of destruction.”

“You got that right. A singing, dancing, Threehorn?” Guido shivers. “Not gonna go through that again.”

Cera glares. “What do you mean?”

Guido looks away whistling. “Nothing.”

“Why can’t we tell the adults about them?” Chomper asked.

“The idea of flowers that can change a dino entirely is too silly. Besides if everyone in the valley knew about them, it could be bad…”

“How?” Rhett asked.

“The valley may be a safe haven, but some dinosaurs that live here aren’t always the nicest… If these flowers are found by such dinos, it could mean horrible things for the valley.”

“That’s very true.” Ruby nods.

“So I guess this means Spike won’t take credit for beating Red Claw.” Guido said feeling sorry for Spike.

Thicknose looks disappointed. “I am afraid so…”

Spike makes a “heh” noise and shrugs.

“You really don’t care about the attention don’t you?” Ducky asked.

Spike nods, he feels the attention would only complicate things for him.

“I am fine with it if he’s fine. Besides, my parents believe he contributed, so that's good enough.” Cera said.

“Yeah, that’s what my grandparents and Pat believes too.” Littlefoot said looking at Spike happily.

The Spiketail makes happy grunts. “Yeehh.”

Thicknose takes a moment to think. “Hmm… Spike here might be the only one who knows about the flowers, he did find them himself.”

Spike nods again. He definitely discovered the flowers.

“Since he is immune, he should be the one to discard them…” Thicknose turns to Spike. “If you’re okay with it that is.”

Once again Spike nods. He remembers where he got the flowers, he can easily return while avoiding Sharpteeth.

“It might be dangerous Spike. You sure you can do this?” Ali asked worried for him.

“Uh huh!” Spike remembers the area well.

“Me come too! Flyers make good lookouts!” Petrie said.

“I am still currently a glider… But I can help too!” Guido said enthusiastically.

“Thanks Petrie, Thanks Guido. Thank you! Thank you!” Ducky said to the two.

“Good luck!” Littlefoot and Cera said.

“Be careful!” Ruby and Chomper followed.

“Safe travels!” Ali and Rhett said.

“If you find where the flowers grow, try to destroy them if you can!” Thicknose exclaimed.

“Come home safe!” Ducky waved to her brother as he picked up the flowers and went off.

“Have you noticed something? Spike seems to be helping out more as of late.” Cera pointed out.

“You think it could be the flowers?” Chomper wondered.

“No, Spike is still Spike. I can tell he hasn’t changed much at all.” Ruby stated.

“Maybe he’s growing up?” Ducky guessed smiling.

“Aww, I wish I could grow up soon…” Rhett sighed.

“Not a chance!” Suddenly the entire gang is splashed with water!

“Whozit!?” Thicknose jumps back startled.

“You’re all just a bunch of big hatchlings!” Hyp shouted laughing.

“Yeah! Hatchlings!” Nod followed with him and Mutt joining in on the laughter.

“You’ve asked for it Hyp! Let’s get splash them back!” Cera cried out running to the nearest pond.

“Yeah!” Chomper, Rhett, and Littlefoot shouted following her with Ruby, Ducky, and Ali laughing behind them.

“Not if we get you again first!” Hyp shouts with him and his gang giving chase.

Thicknose laughs at the sight. Peace remains in the valley like it always should.


---


However…


“With all these greens! We will never starve again!” Ozzy shouts having his arms filled with greens.

“Ozzy don’t you think you’re taking a bit too much?” Strut asked in concern.

“Nonsense! There is never too much of a good-... Say doesn’t that look sweet…” Ozzy looks at the nibbling day tree. “So tasty looking…” He licks his beak.

“It does.... But it seems… suspicious, I haven’t seen any other tree like it in the valley.”

“Nonsense Strut. That makes this tree much more special!” Ozzy drops all of his greens. “Now help me up!”

“Okay.” Strut is reluctant, but agrees. The treesweets do look tasty. Strut get’s up against the tree and Ozzy climbs over his shoulders.  “You’re… heavy…”

Ozzy scoffs at Strut’s statement. “Don’t you insult me like that, I am just as big as you.” He is then close to reaching it. “Come to Ozzy… huh?” The ground shakes…

“Earthshake!?” Strut then falls over with Ozzy!

“AAAAHH!!” They both fall down.

“Please don’t tell that blasted Red Claw busted in again…”

“I think you got more to worry about than Red Claw… What are you two doing here?” Asked Patt.

Ozzy and Strut huddle together in fear. “My br-" Ozzy shakes his head. "I just wanted some of those treesweets.”

“Sorry, but no one’s getting them till nibbling day…”

“I-I…heh...understand… Me and my brother will be on our way-”

“Wait a minute… I heard things about two troubling eggstealer vermin once… You two wouldn’t happen to be related by any chance?”

“RUN!!!” Shouted Ozzy fleeing.

“WAIT FOR ME OZZY!!” Strut shouted following his brother!


---


Screech and Thud were dancing about and came across a lake.

“Care for a swim?” Asked Screech.

“No mind if I do my bestest friend!” Thud responded delightly.

The two jump right in!... and quickly resurfaced moments later.

“Wha-what happened!?” Thud looked around confused.

“Were we attacked?” Screech growls scanning the area.

“Ugh… I am glad Red Claw ain’t here to see this.” Thud tries to get out… But hears the ground shaking. “Not another one of those accursed… SWEET SHARPTOOTH!!”

Red Claw was charging right towards them looking terrified!

Thud jumps right back into the water. “STAMPEDING RED CLAW COMIN’ THROUGH!!”

Screech goes “wut?” Before seeing what Thud meant and Screeches (LOL) in fear!

Red Claw jumps and lands right into the water! Creating a giant splash!

Mo, who is all the way in the big water could see. “Ooooo… Mo didn’t know land water can fly…” He then splashes about making happy noises.

The two fast biters eyes spun dizzily in the now almost empty lake, with fish hopping all around them.

Red Claw looks around… “Did I… win?”

“No, you lost. My respect that is.” Screech glares at Red Claw angrily.

Red Claw tilts his head. “You’re the one to talk. Have you’ve seen yourselves earlier?”

Screech and Thud look at each other. “What were we doing earlier?” Asked Thud unsure what Red Claw meant.

Red Claw facepalms… Well he would if his arms would reach his face. He merely grunted in annoyance.


---


Meanwhile Spike has successfully navigated through the Mysterious Beyond with the help of Petrie and Guido. The two have scouted out the area and no sharpteeth are visible nearby.

Spike gets into the flowerbed with no problems. He drops the flowers in the middle… Now all he has to do is get rid of them all… but how?









SUDDENLY ALIENS!!!



Spike along with the flowerbed is suddenly teleported into a futuristic looking room with a big teleporter and lots of high tech. There is a Gallimimus working on the control panel while reading a clipboard.

"Hmm… The pollen, when sniffed alters the brain’s mental neurological activity... The flowers appear to have an equal effect on different brain masses… However they don't appear to have much effect on certain species… It likely has to do with genetic suitability… It also can be used to transmit information as well as knowledge...  The brain patterns that are created can be resetted to it’s previous natural patterns by a sudden cold stimulus akin to being splashed with oxidane (water)... Further research and development re-" The rainbow face looks up from the clipboard… "Oh dear… It's you..."

Spike tilts his head. That rainbow face guy from before?

The rainbow face is completely frazzled! "Uh pay no attention! All of this is all merely a dream... I mean sleep story!" He then presses a button, sending Spike right back to Earth.

The rainbow face wipes his head in relief. "I should probably get involved in those testing site discussions… Don't want to get those peaceful Earthlings involved with these silly experiments."

Spike blinks…He was back in the Great Valley... Was that real? He goes to check where he previously exited… It was sealed off… Huh… That's odd… Spike goes back into the valley although very startled by all of this.

"Spike! There you are!" Petrie said relieved to see Spike.

"Give us a warning when you're gonna return. We lost you." Guido wipes his head in relief.

"Did you get rid of the flowers?" Petrie asked.

Spike thinks… He guess he did.  He nods.

"That's good, now things can go back to the way they were…" Guido smiles before covering his mouth. "Did- Did I jinx it again?"

Petrie gulps.

Spike came to the realization that something felt off… He didn't realize it till now. He suddenly jumps into a nearby pond and… Ah ha! His massive appetite has returned! He charges to the greens and begins to gobble them down.

Guido and Petrie look on.

"Huh, I guess everything is fine." Guido shrugs.




THE END!

OwlsCantRead

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2020, 08:57:12 PM »
I should commend you for making a Spike-centric story. It's interesting that in your own words the theme of the first section was "completely different dinosaur", given that we fanfic folks are generally big fans of The Seven Hunters series, a trilogy which practically eludes "be a different dino" energy. :p

The advice I would usually give is the "show, not tell" one, there are times where the characters do an action and it's immediately explained why instead of implied, usually in the very short sentences following an action. Typically it's a more advanced tactic to subtle imply or show via introspection why a character is acting this way, and you do do it better than most since there were occasions (Spike calling for Red Claw) where it is implied instead of said outright. Perhaps I'm more used to seeing past-tense, so it might be a nitpick.

I would comment that everyone seems a little out of character, but since that's the whole point of the story (hilarious to some extent, especially once I realized it was the plant's fault) and it doesn't take itself seriously I won't mind this as much as in a work that's played absolutely seriously. I've actually read this exact premise of a trance plant before, just not in LBT. In some sense, I'm pretty sure it's meant to be a crack fic since there are many instances where the story pokes fun at the entire franchise in general.

But I'm genuinely surprised that this story is actually cohesive and has a decent flow overall, compared to some I've read before. It's also rather long, which is surprising too. It's a neat first offering, so keep it up! :^^spike
Would it be possible for swimmers and flyers to get more love around here? Both figuratively… and literally.




Goldenwind

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2020, 10:06:30 PM »
Ah, that's interesting indeed, especially since I didn't have that connection in mind. XD

Thanks! This is my first attempt at a fan-fic for TLBT so I am glad you liked it. X) Thanks for the advice as well!

This fic was meant to have more of the feel of the TV show, but with a more comedic twist, so I guess it's a crack fic. XD

Also, can I ask what you meant when you said the everyone was a little out of character? This way I can understand for future reference.

OwlsCantRead

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2020, 10:41:33 PM »
Ah, that's interesting indeed, especially since I didn't have that connection in mind. XD
Many of us are TSH geeks. One of those fanfics that inspired most of us to write for LBT. Take it you read it at some point? :P

Also, can I ask what you meant when you said the everyone was a little out of character? This way I can understand for future reference.
It's nothing too big, primarily. Maybe it was the flower-section that threw off my perception, but on occasion the dialogue are not one-hundred percent true to form. This is something that everyone struggles with to some extent, to 100% capture that LBT dialogue (for example, Ducky rarely uses contractions unless singing, and I spied a few) without having it be too advanced or out-of-character. ;)
Would it be possible for swimmers and flyers to get more love around here? Both figuratively… and literally.




Goldenwind

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2020, 11:15:33 AM »
I did, but I only read the first few chapters so far. I think the premise is very interesting with the gang becoming sharpteeth and having to adapt to their new way of life. Rhombus is a very creative writer. :)

Ah I see. XD I have to pay more attention to that when writing for Ducky. Thanks!

« Last Edit: January 13, 2020, 11:17:10 AM by Goldenwind »

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2020, 02:56:45 PM »
This certainly was an eventful read. Your style of writing certainly has potential and you already made the story flow quite well. As for the plot, the idea was rather okay for a comedy fic and while the genre isn’t my favorite, you did a few good and genuinely enjoyable scenes. Spike’s obsession with being spike as well as Littlefoot and Ali’s scenes were rather amusing.

About what Owls said, there are two examples of the "show, don’t tell" problem I’d like to point out. The very start of the fic simply stated Spike’s location without really creating any feeling around that fact. You could have emphasized his situation a bit more. The other one is Chomper’s nickname for Wild Arms. While the name wasn’t bad, the (Willy is Guido’s nickname for Wild Arms) part interrupted the flow of the story and wasn’t a smooth addition overall. You could have added that mention to one of the other sentences around that comment and that would have worked far better.

In any case, thanks for sharing this story here.  It’s difficult for me to really grade the rest of the fic as it’s so far from my own comfort zone so I’d be able to offer more advice in case you make a less-comic tale one day. That being said, your writing needs some work to really shine but as I said, it isn’t that far from being really good. But decent job for a first fic. :)



Goldenwind

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2020, 07:18:35 PM »
This certainly was an eventful read. Your style of writing certainly has potential and you already made the story flow quite well. As for the plot, the idea was rather okay for a comedy fic and while the genre isn’t my favorite, you did a few good and genuinely enjoyable scenes. Spike’s obsession with being spike as well as Littlefoot and Ali’s scenes were rather amusing.

About what Owls said, there are two examples of the "show, don’t tell" problem I’d like to point out. The very start of the fic simply stated Spike’s location without really creating any feeling around that fact. You could have emphasized his situation a bit more. The other one is Chomper’s nickname for Wild Arms. While the name wasn’t bad, the (Willy is Guido’s nickname for Wild Arms) part interrupted the flow of the story and wasn’t a smooth addition overall. You could have added that mention to one of the other sentences around that comment and that would have worked far better.

In any case, thanks for sharing this story here.  It’s difficult for me to really grade the rest of the fic as it’s so far from my own comfort zone so I’d be able to offer more advice in case you make a less-comic tale one day. That being said, your writing needs some work to really shine but as I said, it isn’t that far from being really good. But decent job for a first fic. :)

Thanks! I appreciate the advice!  :chompysmile

Anagnos

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2020, 12:45:57 PM »
It is always nice to see another member join in on the fanfiction community and absolve their inspiration for this series. For many, the first story is always the one they end up having most trouble with, but constructive feedback often is a guiding principle when it comes down to writing. Numerous authors in the forum are known for distributing helpful advice to both new writers and experienced writers. I will now discuss some things regarding your rather comedy story.

Plot: Without a doubt, this is one of the more important factors in the world of fanction, and by extension, overall writing. I am aware that this story is meant to be taken with humor rather than excessively. That being said, while the idea isn’t my usual preference, I did find a few parts that were done rather well and I would like to applaud you for that accomplishment.

Grammar: There weren’t many grammatical errors, and while that does work in your favor in the end, I do feel like that the overall quality of the writing did suffer occasionally, especially when jumping from perspective to perspective after mere short sentences. A good mnemonic is to always make good use of commas within the narrative, and if you feel uncertain at any moment, I’m sure there are people here who could help you with that particular problem. Apart from that, I didn’t notice anything that would have affected my reading experience.

Structure: So far, I have spoken about plot and grammar within the story, but there were other minor inconsistencies that affected my overall enjoyment. Every author is allowed to write stories exactly as they wish, but I must confess that I’m not particularly fond of the present tense. There are good ways to make use of this method, but you would have to ask someone else about that as I haven’t practiced with that writing procedure. Furthermore, I would advise you to take extra caution in making sure that the paragraphs don’t end up becoming too big to read, as that can even potentially discourage the reader from going onward. Fortunately, I only saw few instances where this started to become a problem, so I doubt you’ll have to invest much of your time on that issue.

Like I said, publishing your first fanfiction can be a suspenseful case for many, and you shouldn’t feel discouraged to show your work to others. Do keep in mind that feedback will not always be overly positive. I believe that negative feedback will work better as you will remember not to make those same mistakes again in the future, therefore you benefit from the situation quite a bit. But as this story is mostly a comedic one, I cannot offer more this time. However, if you found the desire to continue writing that isn’t a comedy, I would be more than happy to offer my feedback once more. Until then, thank you for sharing your story with us. :)

Goldenwind

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2020, 02:10:23 PM »
It is always nice to see another member join in on the fanfiction community and absolve their inspiration for this series. For many, the first story is always the one they end up having most trouble with, but constructive feedback often is a guiding principle when it comes down to writing. Numerous authors in the forum are known for distributing helpful advice to both new writers and experienced writers. I will now discuss some things regarding your rather comedy story.

Plot: Without a doubt, this is one of the more important factors in the world of fanction, and by extension, overall writing. I am aware that this story is meant to be taken with humor rather than excessively. That being said, while the idea isn’t my usual preference, I did find a few parts that were done rather well and I would like to applaud you for that accomplishment.

Grammar: There weren’t many grammatical errors, and while that does work in your favor in the end, I do feel like that the overall quality of the writing did suffer occasionally, especially when jumping from perspective to perspective after mere short sentences. A good mnemonic is to always make good use of commas within the narrative, and if you feel uncertain at any moment, I’m sure there are people here who could help you with that particular problem. Apart from that, I didn’t notice anything that would have affected my reading experience.

Structure: So far, I have spoken about plot and grammar within the story, but there were other minor inconsistencies that affected my overall enjoyment. Every author is allowed to write stories exactly as they wish, but I must confess that I’m not particularly fond of the present tense. There are good ways to make use of this method, but you would have to ask someone else about that as I haven’t practiced with that writing procedure. Furthermore, I would advise you to take extra caution in making sure that the paragraphs don’t end up becoming too big to read, as that can even potentially discourage the reader from going onward. Fortunately, I only saw few instances where this started to become a problem, so I doubt you’ll have to invest much of your time on that issue.

Like I said, publishing your first fanfiction can be a suspenseful case for many, and you shouldn’t feel discouraged to show your work to others. Do keep in mind that feedback will not always be overly positive. I believe that negative feedback will work better as you will remember not to make those same mistakes again in the future, therefore you benefit from the situation quite a bit. But as this story is mostly a comedic one, I cannot offer more this time. However, if you found the desire to continue writing that isn’t a comedy, I would be more than happy to offer my feedback once more. Until then, thank you for sharing your story with us. :)

Thank you! I appreciate your review. :)

Anagnos

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Re: Spike's Misadventure
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2020, 01:22:44 PM »
@Goldenwind I completely forgot about one thing I was supposed to mention in my review. Whenever the setting changes, it is good to make it clear enough to the reader so as not to confuse them on whose perspective they are currently viewing. A good way to make it very clear is to use the horizontal rule. I'm sorry I didn't include this in the review, but my memory works in very mysterious ways and I didn't recall to add this until I saw your reply to my feedback. :p