Funniest Quotes You've Heard

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #360 on:** November 05, 2010, 02:32:49 AM

Sealab 2021

THE CLOSET EPISODE: My all time favorite

Marco: Oh man, I was starting to lose it there. Hey, the door's broken, we've been trapped in here for three days!

Sparks: The door's not broken... you just press the- *presses button and the door closes)

Marco: No no no! You idiot!

Sparks: You just press the- press the- *Presses the button again but the door remains shut) The door's broken. What the hell?!

Marco: *Curses in Spanish*

Sparks: Hey hey hey! Stop yelling, okay? You're sucking up all the air!

Marco: Don't tell me what the yell or not to yell-

Sparks; Oh jeez! HORSE NOSTRILS... SLURPING UP ALL THE PRECIOUS OXYGEN!!!

Murphy: Son, get a hold of yourself.

Sparks: Claustrophobic *pants madly* Not. Getting. Enough-

*Murphy punches him in the face and knocks him out cold*

Murphy: ...I warned him.

Belmont2500 · **Reply #361 on:** November 05, 2010, 05:07:53 PM

Mystery Science Theater 3K: Soultaker.

(At the title screen for Soultaker)

Crow: What is that,souptaper - no....The SOUUUUUUUUULTAKER!!!!

MrDrake · **Reply #362 on:** November 06, 2010, 05:21:37 AM

Lucious Fox: Spying on 30 million people is not part of my job description
- The Dark Knight

*Vegeta is going on about how they're all going to die*
Lord Guru: Nail! Slap him!
*slap is heard*
Krillin: Oww
Lord Guru: Thank you
- Dragonball Z Abridged

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #363 on:** November 08, 2010, 02:09:48 PM

Scott Pilgrim vs the World

Kim Pine: Scott Pilgrim is dating a high school-er.

Stephen Stills: Really? Is she hot?

Kim Pine: How old are you now Scott? Like, twenty-eight?

Scott Pilgrim: I'm not playing your little games Kim.

Kim Pine: So... you've been out of high school for like thirteen years...

Scott Pilgrim: I'm twenty-two! Twenty-two.

SCOTT PILGRIM
22 YEARS OLD
RATING: AWESOME

Stephen Stills: And you're dating a high school girl. Not bad; not bad.

Scott Pilgrim: Thank you; thank you.

Young Neil: So did you guys like... you know... do it yet?

Scott Pilgrim: We have done many things together: We ride the bus together; and we have meaningful discussions about how Year Book Club went; and about her friends; and, you know, drama.

Stephen Stills: Have you even kissed her?

Scott Pilgrim: We almost held hands once, and then she got embarrassed.

Kim Pine: Well aren't you pleased as punch.

Scott Pilgrim: I don't know what you're talking about.

Stephen Stills: So what's her name?

Scott Pilgrim: Knives Chao... she's Chinese.

Everyone: ...

Young Neil: Wicked...!

Stephen Stills: So when do we get to meet her?

Kim Pine: (Sarcastic tone) Oh please let it be soon...

MrDrake · **Reply #364 on:** December 05, 2010, 01:29:52 AM

Jacob: I kissed Bella....and she broke her hand....punching me in the face

***

Edward: *sees a shirtless jacob* Doesn't he have a shirt?
- Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #365 on:** December 05, 2010, 05:57:26 PM

Sealab 2021

*Murphy talking about his Happy Cake Oven*

Murphy: It's not a toy, it makes real cupcakes. With a forty-watt bulb, and it comes with icing packets. But the secret ingredient is love... damn it.

MrDrake · **Reply #366 on:** December 09, 2010, 07:17:57 AM

Lucious Fox: Spying on 30 million people isn't part of my job description
- The Dark Knight

F-14 Ace · **Reply #367 on:** December 30, 2010, 06:32:12 PM

"Tomorrow I'll play the xylophone... with my butt!" -Wakko from Animaniacs.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #368 on:** January 03, 2011, 01:15:22 PM

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Wallace: Hey Jimmy, do they rock or suck?

Jimmy: They... have not started playing yet.

Wallace: That was a test Jimmy... you passed.
---------------------------------------------------

Crash: Good evening. My name is Crash, and these are the Boys.

Wallace: Is that girl a boy too?

Crash: Yes!
*Girl gives middle finger to Wallace*

Kim: They have a girl drummer?!?!

MrDrake · **Reply #369 on:** January 28, 2011, 03:26:54 AM

Dr. Temprence "Bones" Brennan: Okay, I'm a genious, and I'm confused
- Bones

Adder · **Reply #370 on:** January 30, 2011, 05:21:41 PM

This is from a movie called Sasquatch Mountain, one of the characters is yelling at the big foot:

HEY! WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT HERE! SHOW YOUR FACE!

I wish I could find it on youtube, I'd post the link.

But then it attacks him and throws him off a four foot ledge. He went after it with Glock 17 (.9 caliber pistol) why would he think that would kill it? It can take bullets from Desert Eagles (.50 caliber pistol). :blink:

LBTDiclonius · **Reply #371 on:** January 30, 2011, 05:38:31 PM

Here's one from the movie Paying it Forward.

Mr. Simonet:*In his shirt and boxers, he walks down the hall hurriedly to the bathroom, only to meet Trevor there*

*Both stare at eachother for a few moments*

Trevor: It worked!

Mr. Simonet: *Turns around and walks back down the hall to his room. Trevor follows him.* What worked?

Trevor: You had a sleepover, didn't you?

My whole class was laughing when he said that.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #372 on:** January 30, 2011, 05:42:27 PM

Simpsons
*The family is going into the Witness Protection Program*

Agent: Let's practice for a bit. When I say "Hello Mr. Thompson", you say "hi".

Homer: Check.

Agent: Hello Mr. Thompson.

Homer: ...

Agent: Remember now, YOUR name is Homer Thompson.

Homer: I got ya.

Agent: Hello Mr. Thompson.

Homer: ...

SOME TIME LATER

Agent: Ugh... now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.

Homer: No problem.

Agent: Hello Mr. Thompson. *Stomps down on foot*

Homer: ...*Leans over to another agent* I think he's talking to you.

LBTDiclonius · **Reply #373 on:** January 31, 2011, 03:25:23 AM

Another quote from Paying it Forward

Mr. Simonet: Well, what if we take all those problems and flip them right on the ass-don't tell your parents I said that.

*Kids start laughing*

And so do I

MrDrake · **Reply #374 on:** February 02, 2011, 02:21:49 AM

Iago: *is stuck in a dor, tugging on Jafar's robe* Jafar, can you help me out here? Jafar I'm stuck.....Jafar can you... *is slammed in the head by Jafar's foot* Oww that hurt!
- Aladdin

Belmont2500 · **Reply #375 on:** February 02, 2011, 05:33:59 PM

Family Matters: A Pirate's Life For Me.

Pirate: "What be your name?"

Carl: "Carl".

Pirate: "Carl, that be a pompus name".

*laughter*

Pirate: We can't fight and plunder and pillage for someone named Carl!"

Steve: "He called you pompus big guy".

Pirate: "Big guy? Captain Big Guy, I likes that".

Carl: "Captain Big Guy,catchy".

Pirates: "ALL HAIL CAPTAIN BIG GUY!!!"

Nick22 · **Reply #376 on:** February 02, 2011, 05:58:01 PM

lol that is pretty funny..

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #377 on:** February 02, 2011, 10:35:34 PM

Scott Pilgrim

Scott: I dislike you.

Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.

Scott: What?

Todd Ingram: Because you'll be dust by Monday.

Scott: Um...

Todd Ingram: Because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. And the cleaning lady? She cleans up DUST. *Awkward pause* She dusts.

Scott: So... why Monday?

Todd Ingram: Because... it's Friday now, and she has the weekends off. So Monday... right?

MrDrake · **Reply #378 on:** February 03, 2011, 02:30:45 AM

Booth: *is picking a lock* If anyone asks, it was open
Bones: No it's not
*Booth looks at her and Bones gets it*
Bones: Ohhhh
- Bones

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #379 on:** February 05, 2011, 11:51:58 AM

Family Guy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzwWGPDkSqw&feature=relmfu