Funniest Quotes You've Heard

[Ptyra]

His name is Fransis  

Now that we're talking Bug's Life.

PT Flea (singing) : The streets will be paved with golden retrievers!

Dot: ...But it's a rock.
Flik: I KNOW IT'S A ROCK! Don't you think I'd know what a rock is when I spend a lot of time around ROCKS!?
Dot: You're weird...but I like you.

Fransis (as Robin Hood) : MY SWORD!
Slim: (unhappy) : Swish swish. Clang clang T__T

[MrDrake]

Jafar: *hypnotizing the Sultan* You will order the princess to marry me
Sultan: *hypnotized* I will order the princess...to....marry... *snaps out of it* but you're so old!
- Aladdin

[Spartanguy88]

Red vs Blue

Doc: Man, some people just can't take orders. Am I right?

Washington: Shut up. We're not friends.

Doc: Can I at least get some water?

Washington: I said shut up. And I already asked if you were thirsty before we left.

Doc: We're in the dessert. Thirsty should be assumed.

Washington: You can drink later.

Doc: Yeah... this might be a bad time to tell you that I'm sinking then...

Washington: ...I hate you.

Doc: I know.

[Ptyra]

Nostalgia Critic: (Kickassia bloopers) OF COURSE! Of course! No one can talk to a horse of course! That is, of course, unless the horse is the faaaamous Mr. Ed! Neeeeigh!

[Over and Under]

mario: would you rather be the tailgutter, and get shot at by koopa?
 
Luigi: Hey, i may be crazy, but im not dumb!

XD

SMBSS: Mario and The Red Baron Koopa

[Spartanguy88]

Red vs Blue

*Caboose and Epsilon Church enter a room full of cobalt colored armored suits. Just like the ones the original Church wore*

Caboose: Oh my God! Look at all the you's! You're everywhere! This must be a best friend store! This is the greatest store ever! You can have your body back. Which one do you want? I wanna buy one!

[F-14 Ace]

This scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail is great!
This scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail is great!

[MrDrake]

Vegeta: I'd be inclined to give it to you, but you see, there's a problem with that
Dodoria: And what would that be?
Vegeta: *steps on scouter* It's broken....

Dr. Briefs: *sees Goku with muffin* Where did you get that muffin?
Goku: Muffin button
Dr. Briefs: But I never installed a muffin button
Goku: Then where did I get this muffin...?

Goku: *after talking to Dr. Briefs* I like his mustache
- Dragonball Z Abridged by TeamFourStar

[Spartanguy88]

The Simpsons: Krusty the Clown vs Burger King

Krusty: HEY HEY!!! It's your old pal Krusty! I know some of you might be tempted to buy the Burger King to eat this Flame-Broiled Whopper... *Holds out Whopper* ...Instead of my Deep-Fried With Love Krusty Burger. *Holds out seriously gross looking burger before throwing it back into oil*

Krusty: All I can say is... Please! I'm behind on seven alamonies! I'M WEARING PAPER BAGS FOR SHOES!!!!

[Cancerian Tiger]

From the "A Bug's Life" bloopers:

Hopper (to Atta): "Do I look stupid?"

Atta (laughing): "Yes!"

 

[MrDrake]

Genie: *cheering for Jafar* Jafar, Jafar, he's our man, if he can't do it....GREAT!

Genie: *to Aladdin* Excuse me, are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you let me out of there? And now all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so! You're getting your wishes.....SO SIT DOWN!

Iago: Jafar....get a grip! *Jafar grabs him by the throat* Good grip....

Iago: Jafar I'm stuck......Jafar I can't breathe.....Jafar....*is kicked* Oww that hurt!
- Aladdin

[Spartanguy88]

The Simpsons

*The scene where Homer "transforms" into the Hulk. In reality, he's furious that he's got green paint all over him*

Homer: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGH!!!!! HOMER MAD!!!!!!

*Homer breaks down fence*

Homer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bart: Thank God his pants stayed on!

*Homer then stomps around the city, growling in rage*

Homer: Homer mad! Homer smash! GET REVENGE ON WORLD!

Lenny: Look! It's the Incredible Hulk!

Homer: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Cancerian Tiger]

Genie: *cheering for Jafar* Jafar, Jafar, he's our man, if he can't do it....GREAT!

Genie: *to Aladdin* Excuse me, are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you let me out of there? And now all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so! You're getting your wishes.....SO SIT DOWN!

Iago: Jafar....get a grip! *Jafar grabs him by the throat* Good grip....

Iago: Jafar I'm stuck......Jafar I can't breathe.....Jafar....*is kicked* Oww that hurt!
- Aladdin

Those are all great !

Also from Aladdin:

Iago (spitting out crackers): "I can't take it anymore!  If I have to choke on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers!  Bam!  Whack!"

Iago (upon discovering flamingo has the hots for him): "You got a problem, Pinky?!"
*Knocks flamingo down*

Iago (imitating falling off a cliff): "AHHHHHHHHHHH!  Ka-SPLAT!"

[MrDrake]

Jafar: *after being turned into a genie* Yes! The universe is mine to comand! To control!
Aladdin: Not so fast Jafar, aren't you forgetting something?
Jafar: Huh?
Aladdin: You wanted to be a genie, you got it *golden wrist things appear on Jafar's wrists* and everything that goes with it! *Jafar starts to get sucked into the lamp* Phenomenal cosmic powers! *Jafar is sucked into his lamp* Itty bitty living space...
- Aladdin

[Cancerian Tiger]

Jurassic Park 2:

Hammond Jr.: "Where's the crew?"

Security Guard: "All over the place."

Home Alone 2:

Johnny (after overkill with shotgun): "Merry Christmas ya filthy animal."

*Peppers victim some more*

Johnny: "And a Happy New Year!"

*Fires one last shot*

Liar Liar:

Man in bathroom: "What the hell are you doing?"

Fletcher: "I'm kickin' my a**, do ya mind?!"

   

[Blitz]

Finding Nemo:

Crush: Dude? Dude? Focus dude... Dude?
[Marlin wakes up]
Crush: Oh, he lives. Hey, dude!
Marlin: Oh... What happened?
Crush: Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like "whoa", and we were like "whoa", and you were like "whoa..."
Marlin: What are you talking about?
Crush: You, Mini-Man, takin' on the jellies. You've got serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome.
Marlin: Oh, my stomach. Ohh.
Crush: Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, ok? Just waxed it.
Marlin: So, Mr. Turtle?
Crush: Whoa, Dude. Mister Turtle is my father. The name's Crush.
Marlin: Crush, really? OK, Crush. I need to get to the East Australian Current. EAC?
Crush: [laughing] Oh, dude. You're ridin' it, dude! Check it out!

[Chiletrek]

From Farscape:

John: Does it hurt?
Aeryn: Uh huh.
John: Where?
Aeryn: Where it's bleeding!

[Ptyra]

From "Ant Bully" (I've been watching lots of ant movies recently XD )

Lucas: (running) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Fugax: Does anybody know what "AHHHHHHHH!" means?
(Frog lands behind him and Fugax turns around)
Fugax: I think I just figured it out. AHHHH!

Drone Ant: He's so soft. His skeleton is on the inside.
Ant kid: So he's inside out?
Drone Ant, Ant kid: Eww!
(Role reversal, baby   )

Fugax: I think I know why his name is "peanut". Because his brain is the size of a PEANUT!
(I had to remember how big peanuts are to ants to understand that)

Zoc: Curse you, rock; a curse upon your children!
Hova: I don't think rocks have children.
Zoc: ([throws crystal to the ground) It won't now!

Ant kid in the crowd: LET'S EAT HIM!
Zoc: Wait! We are not mindless savages! This creature should be studied! THEN we'll eat him!

[MrDrake]

Iago: Squeeze him Jafar....sqeeze him like a..... *is flicked away by Genie*
- Aladdin

[Spartanguy88]

Red vs Blue

Grif: I told you that stupid plan wouldn't work.

Simmons: That's because you said your name was "Agent Pluto"!

*Keep in mind: Their names were supposed to based on U.S. States*

Sarge: At least we had our contingency plan to fall back on.

Grif: Sarge, "shotgun to the face" is NOT a contingency plan. I keep telling you that.

Sarge: Don't be so quick to judge Grif. "Shotgun to the face" can be applied in many tough situations. For instance: *points shotgun at Grif* Watch how quickly it cures insubordination.