The Gang of Five
Howdy, everyone!

The member joining awards for 2019, 2020, and 2021 have been posted. We admins would like to thank each and every one of you who have made the forum their home over these years. It is because of people like you that the forum is the welcoming place that it is. :)

The forum supporter awards for those who maintained the forum on Patreon in 2023 will also be up shortly. Again, thank you all for what you do to keep our little corner of the Internet online!

The Eternal Bond

raga · 59 · 9595

raga

  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 940
    • View Profile
Hey everybody, the fanfic is not dead I promise!  Next chapter is almost done and I absolutly 100% guarantee to have it up tomorrow, even if it kills me (It shouldn't, its only a couple hours from being done).  Future chapters should be done much faster, especially since I am getting a labtop and can type and be lazy at the same time.  GOF will get it first, so this is the place to look, i'll put it up on fanfiction.net after wards, since it takes forever to fix everything uploading messed up.


raga

  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 940
    • View Profile
As promised:

Chapter 4:
The Worst Of Times
   Stoneclaw gazed in fear as the sun disappeared behind a massive black circle in the sky.  The D-chew entered a panic and threw himself to the ground, mumbling in the sharptooth language, praying for mercy.  Sharpteeth are a superstitious group, especially those that live in the east.  They have a complicated belief system filled with many different gods and stories, but it is very disorganized.  In fact, there are so many different versions of stories that each individual essentially has his or her own religion.  Unfortunately for Stoneclaw, his own religion contained no story about eclipses, so his only reaction to the unfamiliar event was to cower in fear.
   
After a few moments the D-chew looked back up to the sky and saw that the black circle was continuing on its path, allowing the sun to shine again.  Stoneclaw got back to his feet and composed himself.  He took a quick, darting look around to ensure no one had witnessed his pathetic display before resuming his journey.  The D-chew was growing closer to the Great Valley, he knew he would come upon it anytime.  Sure enough, after ten minutes more travel the dinosaur saw the main entrance to the valley in the distance.

   Stoneclaw paused for a minute, considering his next move.  He couldn’t just walk through the front entrance after all.  As he stood contemplating the problem he heard voices growing closer.  Stoneclaw quickly ducked behind a nearby boulder, taking extra caution not to make any noise.  He then poked his head out from behind the rock and took a look at the two dinosaurs walking by.

   “I don’t understand why she did it” a young long neck with a crimson back said to his travelling partner.  The other dinosaur, a large but not yet adult three horn, sighed.  “Listen, I really don’t care, you go crying to your mommy if you want to discuss things like that”  the three horn responded.  A look of hurt flashed across the long neck’s face before he angrily retorted, “My mother died saving me and Cera from a sharptooth”.  “Oh, and what?  You think that guilt tripping me will get me to discuss your emotions with you?” the three horn mocked the long neck.  “Everybody has a sob story!” he muttered to himself.

   Wow thought Stoneclaw Do these two love each other or what?  “Faster!  I don’t care about your rib, we only have so long to get to the birthing cave” the three horn yelled to the now clearly defeated long neck behind him.  Birthing cave! Stoneclaw knew then that he had found the dinosaurs he was looking for, now he just needed some help to take them down.  The D-chew waited for the three horn and long neck to move a good distance away and then took off into the mysterious beyond.



   Ducky was staring at the insides of her eyelids when Petrie’s voice caused her to come back to reality from her day dreams.  “Cera took this a little far don’t you think?” the flyer asked.  Ducky and Petrie were lying on Spike, who was peacefully sleeping by the still unconscious Cera.  “I already told you, I am not sure what to think until Cera wakes up” the big mouth responded with no obvious sign of annoyance.  Ducky was not one to get easily annoyed with her friends.  “Well your wait is over” came a familiar voice. “Cera!” Ducky and Petrie yelled in unison as they saw their friend open her eyes.  Even Spike added a mild groan to signify his joy.

   “Ya, ya, ya, don’t get all gushy on me” Cera responded in her usual cheerful tone.  Spike jumped up and ran over to the three horn, giving her a massive lick on the cheek.  “Hey! That hurt!” Cera yelped in pain.  “Yes, well you deserve it, you do, you do” Ducky chided.  “Why do I deserve it?  I didn’t do anything wrong” Cera defended yourself.  The three horn seemed to have an honest reaction, but Ducky did not trust it.  “Cera, we know you tried to kill yourself”  Petrie related the harsh truth.

   Cera’s jaw dropped, a look of pure shock crossed her face.  “What?  I didn’t do that!” she yelled at her friends, visibly furious.  “Cera” came a less familiar voice.  Ducky, Petrie and Cera all turned in mild surprise to Spike.  “We are your friends, we will believe what you say, just tell us the truth” the spike tail continued.  Cera calmed down a little bit at the unexpected sound of Spike’s voice.  “I didn’t try and kill myself, I fell, I’m just not sure how.  I don’t really remember much of it” the three horn finally explained.

   Ducky wanted to believe her friend, but she was still skeptical.  She was not going to believe Cera’s story as easily as Spike was.  “Where’s Littlefoot?  He’ll believe me” Cera finally stated after realizing that Ducky and Petrie were probably not as trusting as the spike tail.  Ducky felt her heart sink; she knew the news would crush Cera.  “Littlefoot was seen leaving the valley with Luca” she finally said after a long, uncomfortable pause.

   The big mouth watched as what little strength Cera seemed to have gained since waking left her.  The three horn’s head fell to the floor so quickly it looked as if she had been struck.  Ducky could only imagine the sense of abandonment the three horn was feeling right now.  She knew Cera seemed like a tough tomboy at first glance, but underneath her tough hide was a very sensitive and insecure young girl.

   Tears came to Cera’s eyes as she tried to croak out her next sentence, “Why did he leave me?” was all she could manage to utter.  Ducky felt horrible for her friend, but she could not think of anything to say that would make the three horn feel better.  “Go away, I want to be alone” Cera said, turning her body away to hide her tears. “But Cera-” Ducky started but was interrupted, “I said go away!”.  Ducky, Petrie and Spike followed the dinosaur’s request and left the clearing.  The big mouth lingered for a moment, desperately trying to think of a way to cheer Cera up, but was forced to leave defeated.


   

Stoneclaw cautiously walked through the dark ravine.  Why do I always get stuck doing this stuff the D-chew thought to himself.  The ravine was home to one of the most infamous Sharpteeth in the Void, which is the more formal name for the mysterious beyond.  The infamous Comis was a Utahraptor, the last Utahraptor Stoneclaw knew of.  The D-chew was no historian so he knew little about the reasons for the disappearance of the Utahraptors, but he did know that his master, commonly referred to only as “him”, had a hand in their destruction.
Stoneclaw was broken out of his train of thought as he bumped into something soft and feathered while rounding a corner.  The D-chew gulped and looked up into the angry face of creature twice his size.  He knew instantly that he had just walked into Comis.

“Explain to me why I shouldn’t kill you where you stand” Comis said in a feminine voice.  “You’re a female?” Stoneclaw responded in what was close to disgust, forgetting how dangerous a situation he was in.  “Ugh” the Utahraptor grunted as she turned and slowly walked away, her desire to hurt the unwelcomed guest obviously gone.  “Why is it so hard for everybody to believe that I’m female?” she muttered to herself as Stoneclaw began to follow.  “Just tell me what you want so I can get on with my life.” The Utahraptor finally said to her new shadow.
“I’m here to ask for your help in getting rid of two young flatteeth” Stoneclaw said.  “Why should I help you?” Comis snapped, becoming visibly irritated by the D-chew’s presence.

“Because it is required by my master that this be done” Stoneclaw replied.
“And who is your master?”
“Him”

   Comis stopped at the pronoun.  In a flash Stoneclaw found himself flying through the air, propelled by the swift kick he had just received from the Utahraptor.  The D-chew slammed into the stone wall and fell to the ground.  Before he could even consider standing up he felt a heavy weight pushing down on him, it was Comis’ foot.  Stoneclaw looked up to his attacker and prepared for the end, but instead of finishing the dinosaur, Comis began to speak.

   “And what, may I ask, makes you think I would want to work for that bastard!” she screamed into Stoneclaw’s face.  “Because your life depends on it” the D-chew managed to gasp.  Comis threw her head into the air and let out a maniacal laugh before responding, “My life depends on it?  How?  A pathetic little D-chew like you was supposed to end it?”.  “No, He has a plan to destroy Animus and it will work with or without your help.  That means His forces will control the Void, and He will finish what he started by killing you, unless you have aided him in some way.  He may show you mercy” Stoneclaw finished.

   Comis lifted her leg off of the fallen D-chew and took a step back to allow the dinosaur to get back on its feet.  “I’ll help you, but not for that bastard’s mercy, I have my own reasons” the Utahraptor finally said after a few moments had passed.  “Perfect, follow me” Stoneclaw responded turning to leave.  Comis waited for the D-chew to move out of earshot before muttering “Idiot”.



   “Stop!  I need to rest” Littlefoot called after Lucas.  The three horn let out an angry grunt, him and his stupid rib!  “Fine, a quick one though, we’re approaching the Fringe” he responded.  “The Fringe?” Littlefoot asked Luca.  “It’s and strip of habitable land between the Void, which is the place you know as the mysterious beyond, and Animus” Luca responded, slightly annoyed by the longneck’s ignorance.  “You mean there’s another place with dinosaurs?” Littlefoot said mystified.  “Listen up longneck, I’m going to give you a little lesson and I’m only going to give it to you once.  The world, or at least the world I know of, can be split up into five rather simply named regions; They are the Middle Land, the Northern Mountains, the Southern Lands, the Eastern Lands, and everywhere else.”

   “The Middle Lands is the place you know best.  In the Middle lands you have the Void, which stretches from the Big Water in the west to the Fringe in the east.  It is made up of what you know as the Mysterious Beyond and although there are other green areas in it the Great Valley is the highlight of that hell hole.  East of the Void you have the Fringe, its green but its filled with rough characters, not a fun place to live either.  Then you have Animus, east of the Fringe, and finally you have what is known as the Sharptooth Forest.  That’s where the gang of Sharpteeth who stole the egg live.”

   “The Northern Mountains are as their name suggests, a mountain range north of the Middle Lands.  It’s populated almost entirely by flyers.  They live in a large number of different tribes they call squadrons.  These squadrons constantly fight with each other, conquering a new stretch of mountain only to lose it the next day.”

   “The Southern Lands are south of the Middle Lands and was once home of the largest dinosaur nation that ever existed.  About fifty cold times ago a civil war broke out and the nation fell apart.  For over forty cold times they fought amongst themselves until they could fight no longer.  There is peace there, for now, but the Southern Lands has been split into several smaller nations.”

   “The Eastern Lands are the most fearsome of all. It is a large landscape covered by plains, only to be broken up by the occasional forest or small mountain range.  There, massive armies made up of a single species constantly fight each other, trying to press their genocidal agenda.  The battles they have are nothing short of epic and are probably amazing to watch, you just don’t want to be in them.”

   “Everywhere else is exactly that, everywhere else on this world.  I know nothing about it and I don’t plan to learn.  So long neck, are your questions satisfied?” Luca finally finished his speech.  “What’s a nation?” Littlefoot asked after a moment of silence.  Luca’s only response was to start beating his forehead on a rock next to him.



   “She’s your daughter, you have to go talk to her” Tria said while staring up at a dark form lying on hill she knew to be Cera.  “But-” Topsy began but was quickly cut off by Tria.  “No buts, you hurt her and now you have to apologize.  Then you need to try and make her feel better about Littlefoot running off” she said with a slight tone of annoyance.  “But I’m happy he’s gone, it’s what I wanted all along” Topsy replied.  “Don’t you get it?  This isn’t about what YOU want, it’s about what she wants” Tria finished while glancing back at her stepdaughter.

   “Ugh, fine” Topsy sighed in defeat as he turned and began walking towards the young three horn on the hill.  A few days had passed since Cera’s fall and she was making a steady recovery.  With a little assistance she could move around, as long as she was careful not to put any weight on her broken leg.  It would be awhile before any long journeys.  She hadn’t said a word to anybody since she had learned that Littlefoot had left with Luca.  The three horn just sat on the same spot all day.  It was no secret what she was looking at though, her hill had a perfect view of the valley’s main entrance.

   Topsy reached the top of the hill and stood next to his daughter.  After a long pause he said “Cera, I…” but quickly trailed off.  The three horn took another few moments to compose himself before continuing.
   “Cera, I overreacted a little bit the other day-”
   “A little bit?” Cera said, speaking her first words in days.
   “Ok, I overreacted a lot, and I’m sorry”
   “I didn’t try and kill myself”

   “I really don’t care what happened that day Cera.  I love you; you’re my daughter, the last connection to my old life before the valley.  Every time I look into your face a see your mother, you’re a lot like her you know.”  Topsy said as he moved closer to his daughter, holding his head protectively over her.  “What happened to mommy?” Cera asked looking up to her father.  “I’ve told you before, we got separated” Topsy responded, a little confused as to why Cera had asked a question he had answered several times.  “You’re lying, I’ve know that was a lie for years now.  You know exactly what happened to her” Cera said bluntly.

   Topsy sighed, she was right, he had been lying to her all these years.  It was about time she learned the truth.  “When we were searching for the Great Valley we knew that Pterno was going to leave with a part of the herd long before it actually happened.  Your mother wanted us to go with him, she had fallen for his lies.  The night before they left your mother and I… had an argument.  We were away from the main herd during it, to keep the fight private, but… it was a mistake.  A group of Sharpteeth attacked us.  I tried to hold them off for as long as possible, but by the time the others had arrived to help us, it was too late” Topsy finished.

   “She’s dead?” Cera asked in a small voice.  “Yes, and your sisters, they were with us at the time” Topsy answered with a tone of defeat.  “I had nothing left, I thought my entire family was gone.  But then I found you, and that’s why you’re so important to me.  I did what I thought was best for you the other day, but…I guess what I think is right is sometimes wrong”

   Topsy watched as his daughter considered everything he had just
said.  He knew what he had just revealed to her would be difficult, and in combination with the apology the young three horn would have to sort through a complicated mess of emotions.  “I forgive you” Cera finally said after a long pause.  She reached up and nuzzled her father who returned the gesture.  “If you want to be with that flat-, Littlefoot, its fine with me” Topsy said.  Cera glanced back at the valley entrance and responded “I don’t know what I’m going to do with him”.



   Littlefoot was starting to find it less difficult to think again.  Ever since he had left the valley he had been in a haze, unable to organize his thoughts.  Between the long neck’s emotions on what Cera had done, the constant dull pain from his healing rib, and the intolerable heat, Littlefoot had been forced to concentrate on just getting his legs to move.  But just as his ability to interpret the events of the past few days began to return, he wished he could forget them.

   What he had done to Cera was horrible, and he realized that, but he was not planning on turning back.  He would have to face the consequences for what he did from Cera, and from himself, but he decided that he might as well finish what he came out here to do.  As these thoughts went through the long neck’s head he began to realize something else, he might not love Cera as much as he thought he did.  He considered that the relationship may have been a mistake, that Cera was simply someone he had fallen back on in a moment of weakness.

   Littlefoot did not have more time to consider this as his concentration was broken after running into the now stopped Luca.  “What’s wrong?” the long neck asked.  “Quiet” was the only response he received from the three horn.  “We’re not alone” Luca added in a whisper a moment latter.  Suddenly Littlefoot saw movement out of the corner of his eye.  He turned his head towards the disturbance and saw a small brown, feathered creature running towards him at full speed.  The long neck tensed his muscles, pulling back his tail to take on the threat, but it was unnecessary.  In a flash another brown feathered creature, twice the size of the first, took down the original.  The smaller sharptooth hissed something up to other before having its throat cut, blood pouring on the ground beside it.

   “I’m sorry if that frightened you” the remaining sharptooth said after looking up from his kill.  “A Utahraptor?  I thought you were all dead” Luca responded, still tense with obvious distrust.  “Not quite, and you can relax, I have no designs to harm either of you.  You’re going to stop Him for me, so that makes us on the same side” said the Utahraptor.  “I’m never on the same side as a sharptooth” Luca snapped back.  “Hm, you don’t seem very grateful, I only saved your life after all.  It does not matter, my job is done.” the sharptooth finished before turning to leave.

   “Hold on, what’s your name?” Littlefoot called after her.  “My real name is none of your business, but most know me as Comis” the sharptooth responded.  “Well, Comis, your scar is identical to mine” Littlefoot said.  “Scar?” Comis said quizzically before adding “Oh, yes.  Very observant of you, that scar is so well hidden most don’t usually notice it”.  The Utahraptor looked down at her right arm, staring at the scar that was partially hidden by feathers.  “Your rude friend here has it as well” Comis said, gesturing to Luca.  All three dinosaurs looked at each other, lost in thought about the strange coincidence.  “I suppose that means we will meet again one day, till than” Comis turned and left.  Littlefoot turned to Luca who returned the glance.  “This is one bizarre world”.




   Ducky, Petrie and Spike were eating their breakfast at their usual spot, but Ducky felt it just wasn’t the same without Cera and Littlefoot.  Cera was next to unapproachable, simply sitting on her hill all day, and there was still no sign of Littlefoot anywhere.  The big mouth simply did not know what to do besides trying to live life as normally as possible.  Their silent breakfast was soon disturbed though.

   “We need to find him” came a small feminine voice from the river bank.  Ducky, Petrie and Spike turned to see Tricia standing in their clearing.  “We need to find who?” Petrie asked the young three horn.  “Littlefoot, my sister can’t do anything with her leg, so I’m going to find him, and you all are coming with me” she responded firmly.  Ducky glanced at Tricia’s tail, the young three horn’s main indicator of mood, and saw that it was straight and stiff.  She was being completely serious.

   “It’s not that simple Tricia, we can’t just go running off” Ducky said, trying to talk the three horn out it.  “What do you mean, you guys always used to run off into the mysterious beyond for the simplest reasons.  Why not now?” she asked in a pleading voice.  Ducky knew she wasn’t going to be able to talk Tricia out of her idea, so the big mouth went with another approach.  “We have no idea where Animus is, how could we ever find him?” Ducky asked.  “We know it’s somewhere east of here, so let’s head east and figure it out from there” Tricia responded in a much firmer voice, she was not going to budge.  Ducky sighed, “Fine, off we go again” she said in a defeated voice.






There, that chapter was strangly difficult.  Future chapters will be written much quicker, I promise.  Here's the quote:

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.
-Hindu Spiritual


Edit: Now more reader friendly! (spaces between paragraphs)


NaNaNa

  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 433
    • View Profile
Awesome. The part where Luca explains to Littlefoot all the stuff about the other lands is a bit cliched but thats alright.


Serris

  • General of the Great Valley
  • Member+
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 11344
  • The cyberpunk Deinonychus
    • View Profile
I left a review on FF.net but I'll still say something here:

I have to admit the idea of the dinosaur nations is very interesting. The interspecies romance is done very well too.

Poster of the GOF's 200,000th post

Please read and rate: Land Before Time: Twilight Valley - The GOF's original LBT war story.


raga

  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 940
    • View Profile
Well, at long last I have returned with another chapter.  Things have been a little hairy for me recently but we can thank Cancerian Tiger for lighting a fire under me.  You may have not said much but it was good motivation anyway.  I had left this story just kinda sitting there for a while but I'm back at it and hopefully it wont take a month for me to right another chapter.  Well, here it is:

Chapter 5:
The Witness

   Littlefoot was standing in a clearing during a warm sunny day.  He did not know how he had gotten there or where he even was, but for some reason this did not really bother him.  Suddenly the long neck noticed a very old looking spike tail was standing next to him, he was unsure if the dinosaur had just appeared or if it was always there.
   
“I’m sorry to say this child, but a lot is going to be asked of you” the spike tail, now obviously a female, said.  “What is that supposed to mean?” Littlefoot asked bewildered.  “Watch” the spike tail said as she looked down at a lizard scurrying by her feet.  The spike tail lifted her foot and brought it down quickly on the lizard’s tail, trapping it.  The lizard struggled, trying to get free, but it was useless.  The small creature than switched to what Littlefoot felt was the most bizarre strategy he had ever seen.  The lizard began spinning its body, going faster and faster until finally its tail came clean off.  The creature, now tailless, then ran into a hole, not to be seen again.
   
“The lizard sacrificed its tail to save its life.  Sometimes we have to give up things we don’t want to, in order to do what is necessary” the spike tail said after the ordeal was over.  “Okay, but did you have to do that?  That was kinda cruel” Littlefoot responded.  “Its tail will grow back, don’t concern yourself with that.  Losing its tail was a small sacrifice, but some sacrifices are much larger.  And you, Littlefoot, will have to give up what is most important to you” the spike tail said in its quivering voice.
   
“What is it?” Littlefoot asked, concerned about what was expected of him.  The spike tail smiled.  “You’re destined for great things, just don’t lose track of what is important.  In the end you will be rewarded, if your work isn’t reward enough” the dinosaur finally answered after a long pause.  The world began to get blurry and dark, the spike tail fading into the distance.  “Wait!  I want to know more!” Littlefoot called out in desperation.  “Nobody can know everything, we can only guess” were the spike tail’s last words before Littlefoot woke from his slumber.




   Littlefoot was deep in thought about his dream the previous night when he suddenly found himself gazing at the scene before him.  He was standing at the edge of a large clearing with a river winding through the middle.  The clearing was filled with dinosaurs of all kinds; eating, drinking and sleeping.  They were all fully grown and had obviously been through rough lives, most bearing a scar or two to prove it.
   
“This is a place where those who live in the Void come to rest” Luca said after noticing Littlefoot’s expression.  “We’re getting near Animus, so we’ll stay here tonight.  Go have a look around, just try not to get on anyone’s bad side” the three horn warned before walking off.  Littlefoot watched him go before heading straight for the nearest river bank.
   
Littlefoot was slowly lapping up water from the river when a rock he was bracing his front right leg on slipped into the water.  This caused the long neck to bump into a club tail next him while trying to regain his balance.  “Hey!  Watch it kid!” the club tail grunted angrily.  “Sorry sir, it was an accident” Littlefoot responded submissively.  “You better be.  Your kinda young to be here aren’t you?  Where you from?” the irritated dinosaur asked.  “The Great Valley” Littlefoot responded.  “Figures” was all the club tail had to say before walking away.
   
“What was his problem?” Littlefoot asked himself before turning back to his drink.  Unfortunately it was interrupted again as Littlefoot felt someone gently bite and tug his tail.  “What are doing!” the long neck yelled as he turned around to face the person who had bite him.  He was now face to face with a young female long neck who was wearing had a small devilish smile.  Littlefoot gazed into the dinosaurs light blue eyes and could have sworn he had seen them before.
   
“Ali?” Littlefoot finally asked after the sudden realization had hit him.  Ali nodded vigorously in response.  The two leaned and shared a friendly nuzzle before Littlefoot continued, “What are you doing here?”.   “What do you mean, what am I doing here?  I live in the mysterious beyond silly, the better question is what are you doing here?” Ali responded.  “It’s a long story, but let’s not worry about that now, I’m just glad to see you” Littlefoot said.  “Ya, me too.  Come on, let’s find somewhere quite to talk” Ali responded before turning away and leading Littlefoot out of the clearing.




   “Don’t bite off more than you can chew long neck” Luca muttered to himself as he watched Littlefoot follow a female long neck out of the clearing.  “You know that long neck?” asked yet another long neck standing within earshot of Luca.  “Ya, his name’s Littlefoot” Luca responded, realizing a bit too late that revealing that information may not have been a good idea.  “Great” muttered the long neck, obviously upset by the news.
   
Luca wasn’t happy about this longneck’s interest in Littlefoot.  “Do you know him?” he asked.  “Kinda, I know the girl he’s with” the long neck responded.  Luca was worried that this could cause problems, it was difficult enough getting Littlefoot away from Cera.  “Who are you?” he asked.  “My name’s Rhett, I’ve been travelling with Ali, the girl long neck, since I was young” Rhett answered.  “Well go get Hailey and leave us alone” Luca quickly snapped as he turned to walk away.   “Ali, not Hailey” Rhett called after the three horn.  “Like I care” Luca muttered as he walked off in the same direction Littlefoot and Ali where headed.




   “Ducky, can I ask you a question?” Tricia said to the big mouth riding on her back.  The two, along with Petrie and Spike, had snuck out of the Great Valley and began their journey east in search of Animus.  Ducky was still unsure about the whole journey.  She understood how Tricia felt that finding Littlefoot would help Cera, but Ducky felt that leaving Cera behind by herself was potentially more damaging.
   
“Yep, yep, yep, of course you can Tricia” the big mouth responded.  “Why is Cera in love with Littlefoot?” Tricia asked.  Ducky paused; it wasn’t really a question she could answer.  She wasn’t even sure Cera or Littlefoot could answer it.  Tricia was still young so Ducky understood how she could seem naÔve.  “It’s not that simple, love… just happens” Ducky finally replied.  “But a long neck?” Tricia immediately blurted out while staring at the dirt being kicked up in front of her.  Ducky cringed at the comment.  Tricia was living a slightly more normal childhood than Cera had, since Tria was balancing out Topsey’s insanity, but her father’s influence was still obvious.
   
“I don’t know Tricia” Ducky responded, wanting to end the conversation.  “You can ask Cera when we get back to the Great Valley” She finished.  Tricia fell silent and they spent the next few minutes without saying a word.  “Have you ever been in love?” Tricia said, breaking the silence.  “I’m going to walk with Spike” the big mouth responded.



   
“They just left me here, all alone!” Cera yelled at herself as she limped along through the jungle.  “And my leg is so itchy!” she cried out in frustration, throwing herself to the ground and digging her horn under the leaves, trying to reach the itch.  She scratched furiously again and again until she felt a sharp jolt of pain.  “Ouch!” the three horn yelped and saw a tiny trickle of red.  “A little too hard” she muttered to herself.
   
There was sharp crack and Cera froze, quickly glancing to the forest behind her.  “Hey Chomper” she said as she turned her attention back to her leg.  The sharptooth climbed out from the foliage and walked up to Cera lying on the ground.  “How did you know it was me?” he asked.  “The smell mostly” she replied looking up at Chomper.  Cera was a little amazed by how much he had grown, she wasn’t too sure she could win a fight with him anymore.  “Oh” he responded in a slightly defeated tone.
   
“Where did you go anyway?” Cera asked, wondering where the sharptooth had been since the day Luca had shown up.  “I had…some stuff to do”  Chomper replied, not doing a very good job at dodging the question.  Cera stared into space, losing focus on the conversation when a thought came to her.  “Chomper, do you know where Animus is?” She asked.  “Yeah, why?” he responded.  Cera jumped to her feet in excitement, realizing a little too late how much pain that would cause.  “Can you take me there?” she asked, ignoring the fresh shot of pain.  “Okay, but its kinda far, are you sure you can make it on that leg?” he asked.
   
Cera felt the surge of anger pulse through her.  “Its fine ok?!”  she screamed.  “Ok, I’m sorry I said anything” Chomper said, backing away a step.  “I suppose you think I jumped just like everyone else?” the three horn snapped.  “I don’t think that, I saw that you didn’t jump”  Chomper replied defensively.  Cera froze as her mind processed what the sharptooth had just said.  “You saw my fall?”  she asked.  “Ya, it was pretty bad”  he commented, shaking his head at the thought.  “What happened, did I trip?”  Cera asked.
“No, you were pushed”

"It is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich." -Henry Ward Beecher


Nick22

  • Administrator
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 41213
    • View Profile
Nice work raga.. its very good :)
Winner of these:


Runner up for these:




Serris

  • General of the Great Valley
  • Member+
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 11344
  • The cyberpunk Deinonychus
    • View Profile
I love the plot but I'd suggest that you be a little more generous with spaces between dialogue as it is a little difficult to read.

Hmm. So it seems there was an attempt on Cera's life?

Poster of the GOF's 200,000th post

Please read and rate: Land Before Time: Twilight Valley - The GOF's original LBT war story.


Cancerian Tiger

  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6936
    • View Profile
Arrgh!  Whoever did that to Cera outta get their a** kicked :anger!  Lemme at 'em!  Lemme at 'em!  I wanna get NINJA!!!

Flying ninja monkeys, ATTACK!!!!

Okay, excuse my randomness.  Ever try taking summer college courses?  Kills me every time, cramming sixteen weeks of information into three weeks, but at least I'll graduate sooner :p.  Anyhoo, glad to see I got ya goin' with the story again :yes.  Whoever did that to Cera is so dirty!  I'd love to see Littlefoot have at 'em when he finds out what really happened.  His good friend Chomper having been a witness will work to Cera's advantage.  Great story thus far, loved the update, can't wait to find out what happens next, don't know if adrenaline rush will reflect in next post or not :lol.  Keep 'em comin' :yes!


DarkWolf91

  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2068
    • View Profile
    • http://www.kelpgull.deviantart.com
Oooh, cliffhanger!
I really love this story. Keep it up! But, of course, don't burn yourself out :D



Explorer

  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 1237
    • View Profile
    • http://gatewayisland.proboards.com
Terrific job! Smooth move on the chapter, raga! Keep at it!


raga

  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 940
    • View Profile
Quote
I love the plot but I'd suggest that you be a little more generous with spaces between dialogue as it is a little difficult to read.
sorry about that, I forgot it gets rid of the paragraph indents when you post, fixed now though.

I'm glad you guys liked that!  I'm hoping to have another chapter ready by sunday or next monday, but as you have seen I'm awful at keeping self-imposed deadlines.  And don't worry about me being over worked, my AP Bio test was yesterday and now that thats over, i'm pretty much done


Nick22

  • Administrator
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 41213
    • View Profile
I'm looking forward to the nexrt chapter. Are Littlefoot and Ali going to get together (which is natural)? or will Ali reject him after he confesses his love for cEra? (cue dramatic music)
Winner of these:


Runner up for these:




Cancerian Tiger

  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6936
    • View Profile
That would be dirty.  How would ya feel if the one who's been your best friend for life thus far eventually develops feelings for and professes their love for ya, takes off when ya need them the most, and then rejects ya for another man/woman?  That'd be such a low-blow, I could not even be friends with the guy afterward :anger.

Anyhoo, I can't wait for the next chapter :D!


Nick22

  • Administrator
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 41213
    • View Profile
It was just a suggestion, raga doesn't have to folow my advice... :)
Winner of these:


Runner up for these:




raga

  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 940
    • View Profile
(Quick note, this may not be the final version of this chapter.  If you want to help me out a little bit here read the post after this first.  Otherwise, enjoy)

Chapter 6:
Life’s Cruel Decisions

   Comis snapped his head up and began gazing into the forest to his right.  Under the shade of a large palm tree stood a Velociraptor, staring hungrily at the small club tail that Comis stood over.  Comis let out a loud hiss and snapped his jaws, taking a threatening step towards the Velociraptor.  The small sharptooth snapped back before turning and dashing into the forest.  Great, he’ll be back with some of his friends before long the Utahraptor thought to himself.  Killing a single Velociraptor would be as easy as squashing a bug, but when they attack in a group they can be extremely dangerous.  Comis knew she needed to move on, and soon.

   The Utahraptor had been following Luca and Littlefoot ever since she had killed Stoneclaw.  She knew the way to Animus, but not to the Cornu Valde’s birthing cave.  The sharptooth knew it was somewhere north west of the actual mountain, hidden behind a massive waterfall.  It actually sounded very beautiful, but few knew of its location.  But if she wanted her revenge on Him, she would have to go there.

   She heard the sound of tiny footsteps approaching and saw six Velociraptors peeking out from the trees.  Comis knew more were probably hiding somewhere further into the forest.  Time to get out she thought to herself before taking one final chunk of meat and dashing off.



   The sun was slowly setting in the west and the sky had orange-red hue.  Littlefoot could see for miles in all directions from the mountain top he now stood upon.  To the west was a flat and desolate landscape stretching to the horizon, the mysterious beyond.  Only the occasional smudge of green stood out in the dirt brown environment.  The wasteland slowly grew to the thin forest that made up the fringe until developing into a dense forest, a forest in which Animus stood.  The long neck could see several mountains in the distance, but he did not know which was Luca’s home.

   Littlefoot slowly turned his head from the beautiful scene in front of him to the long neck standing beside him.  The memories of his time with Ali began to flash through his mind.  There weren’t many of them, but they still brought a smile to his face.  He looked deep into her eyes blazing green eyes and could see a gentle warmth within him.  “It’s good to see you again Ali” Littlefoot blurted out, realizing how stupidly simple the sentence was for such a special moment.  Ali giggled and nodded then leaned her head in, lying it on Littlefoot’s neck for support.  Littlefoot wasn’t sure how to take it, she seemed pretty tired but he knew the gesture meant much more.

   Leaning in and giving Ali a more then friendly nuzzle crossed Littlefoot’s mind when his thoughts turned to Cera.  A sudden realization hit Littlefoot at that moment, he didn’t love Cera, at least not in the way he thought he did.  Cera was still more than a friend to him, and the long neck began to realize that Cera was like a sister he never had.  They had first met when they were just a few days old, and have lived side by side ever since.  So many journeys, adventures and struggles spent together.  He had a unique form of love for her, but standing next to him was quite literally the girl of his dreams.

   Littlefoot had felt lonely, there were no female long necks his age in the Great Valley, so he attached himself to the dinosaur he felt closest to besides his grandparents.  He almost nuzzled Ali and he almost did it in a very affectionate way, but he couldn’t.  “What’s wrong Littlefoot?” Ali asked as another minute went by without Littlefoot taking any action.  “I have a lot to tell you” he replied.  Littlefoot went on to tell Ali all about what had happened between him and Cera, and how he believed it was a mistake.  Still, mistake or not, Littlefoot knew what the right thing to do was.


 
   Luca and Rhett looked up at the two long necks above them and uttered the same expletive in unison.  “I hate my life” they whispered to themselves.



   “What’s that?”  Tricia said as she, Ducky, Spike and Petrie were continuing their journey to Animus.  Ducky had been lying on her belly on top of Spike’s back, lazily kicking her feet through the air as she propped her head up with her hands.  Lost in space, she was staring at the distant northern horizon, watching the shapes that appeared as the clouds interacted with tiny lumps the big mouth knew to be a far off mountain range.  Tricia’s statement brought her back to earth though and she turned to look at what the three horn was referring too.

   A few hundred feet to the south of them was a tiny grove of about twenty trees and tightly clustered bushes.  They had seen many of these small, densely packed patches of vegetation that broke up the desolate wasteland of the mysterious beyond.  Ducky had no idea why they existed but was sure glad they did, they provided all the food they needed.  The big mouth could see that Tricia was referring what at first seemed like a large mound of dirt that was previously concealed by the grove.  She could soon see though that it was no mound of dirt.

   The lump of brown was actually the body of a large sharptooth.  Ducky felt a quick jolt of fear course through her body before noticing the pool of congealed blood around the sharptooth.  It was obviously dead.  Ducky was about to tell the others to just move on before she noticed something smaller lying next to the dead dinosaur.  The big mouth squinted her eyes and as they drew closer she was able to make the smaller object.  It was another sharptooth, of the same kind as the dead one, standing in the pool of blood.  It was obviously very young, just a child, and Ducky could now tell that it was crying.

   “Don’t go near it” said a deep, rough voice from behind the four travelers.  Ducky looked behind her and saw dark blue fast runner.  The dinosaur had obviously been through quite a rough life, with tough cracked skin and numerous scars.  “Now that its mother is dead it won’t last a week” he added with a hint of satisfaction.  “B-B-B-But we have to help it” Petrie stammered, obviously concerned about the fast runner’s reaction.  “No we don’t, if it lives it’ll go on to kill a hundred others in its life” he replied.

   The five dinosaurs were still for a moment until Spike turned away and began walking towards the young sharptooth.  “What if you’re one of those hundred!” the fast runner called after Spike in an attempt to stop him.  The large spike tail stopped in his tracks and turned his head back to the stranger, a dead serious look on his face.  “I would rather die innocent then live guilty” Spike said firmly and with conviction before turning back towards the sharptooth.

   The fast runner looked down to Tricia and Petrie, who were still standing beside him.  “If the spike tail actually says it, its final” Tricia told the fast runner in a flat tone before following Spike and Ducky.  The fast runner stood on the spot seemingly confused as he watched the four young dinosaurs approach the baby sharptooth.  After a short pause, he turned and left.



“WHAT!” Cera yelled at the top of her lungs as the sun began to set.  “Oh…. You didn’t know that?” Chomper asked in a subdued tone, fearful of Cera’s anger.  “No I didn’t know that!  Who did it?” she cried, shaking in anger.  “It was Luca” Chomper said flatly, unsure of how the three horn would react.

   Cera was silent for a moment but then she began to visibly shake.  The shaking grew more and more violent until she let out the loudest and most ear shattering roar Chomper believed he had ever heard.  The sharptooth wasn’t sure if it was the actually force of the roar or simply the surprise from such a loud sound but Chomper fell backward onto the ground.  He rubbed his head where hit a rock and smiled nervously at the three horn.  Chomper could almost see the blinding white hot anger pouring out of Cera as her mind struggled to analyze the implications.

   “We have to go find Littlefoot, he could be in trouble!” she said, her mind focusing on the first thing to cross it.  She took a step on her injured leg and it landed in an awkward position.  Pain shot up the injured leg and Cera gasped in pain, falling to the ground.  “Uggghhhhh!!!!!!” she screamed, pounding her healthy leg onto the ground and kicking up a small puff dirt and dust into the air.

   “You’re going to have to help me Chomper” Cera said as she turned to the nervous Sharptooth.  “Help you?  You’re twice my weight!” Chomper shot back before he realized what he had just said.  “What! Are you calling me fat!” the three horn screamed, her less then cheery mood only getting worse.  “N-N-N-No!  I’m just saying your bigger than me, how am I supposed to help you all the way to Animus?” Chomper stammered back.

   Cera knew the sharptooth was right, she couldn’t make it that far on her own and Chomper wasn’t anywhere near large enough to help her.  Suddenly Cera felt herself being lifted up.  She looked up and saw the Healer standing next to her, picking her up and positioning the three horn so the her weight was supported.  “Lead the way, sharptooth” the Healer said.  Chomper and Cera looked at each, shrugged, and where on their way.


raga

  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 940
    • View Profile
Phew, its been awhile.  Between finishing up school, all graduation related thingys, getting ready for college, and moving my life has been hectic at best.  This chapter was originally done about a month ago and was considerably longer, but I had to change it.  There was a huge challenge in this Chapter and I think CT sums it up pretty well:

Quote
That would be dirty. How would ya feel if the one who's been your best friend for life thus far eventually develops feelings for and professes their love for ya, takes off when ya need them the most, and then rejects ya for another man/woman? That'd be such a low-blow, I could not even be friends with the guy afterward .
That needed to be avoided, especially when I tried writing it that way and let me tell you, its pretty dam horrible.  Now I've tried it a slightly different way and you all can help me out by giving me a little feedback on that scene specifically.  I'm going to wait on that before posting this on fanfiction.net.


Pangaea

  • Member+
  • Cera
  • *
    • Posts: 4430
  • Contemplator of Deep Time
    • View Profile
The master of nitpicking, at your service! :p

Speaking seriously, I'm probably not deserving of such a lofty title, but I have a definite eye for errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc., and would probably annoy most people to the point of insanity if I did not suppress my impulse to correct every single little error or flaw I notice. On that note, please tell me (by PM, preferably) if I start to become a nuisance with my nitpicking. (I truly do mean well.)
Quote
He looked deep into her eyes blazing green eyes and could see a gentle warmth within him.
There's an unnecessary "eyes" in there; also, Ali's eyes were blue, not green (though eye color can change with age; is that what you had in mind?); finally, I believe the "him" at the end of the sentence should be "them."

Also, whenever you have a character speaking, there should be a punctuation mark (usually a comma) immediately before or after the endquote (depending on whether you're using American or British writing style). For instance:
Quote
“It was Luca” Chomper said
...should be:
Quote
“It was Luca,” Chomper said
...in American style. In British style, I believe the comma would go after the endquote. (Though admittedly, even I don't know all the rules of using quotation marks with other forms of punctuation under different circumstances. :wacko)

Having inundated you with corrections, I feel that I should make it up to you with a compliment or two. :p Firstly, I must say that your depictions of the characters as adolescents are very original and interesting (e.g., Cera's "graying out," Spike's speaking only when it's important). As an additional note, I laughed out loud (well...chuckled, anyway :p) at Cera's response to Chomper's protest that she's too heavy for him to carry. :lol

EDIT: Whoops! SorryóI just reread your last post; did you only want feedback on one specific scene? :oops



Pronounced "pan-JEE-uh". Spelled with three A's. Represented by a Lystrosaurus.


Nick22

  • Administrator
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 41213
    • View Profile
Looks very good, now we just have to see how Ali responds to him, and how they can diffuse the issue with cEra, who remains truly in love with Littlefoot..
Winner of these:


Runner up for these:




Cancerian Tiger

  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6936
    • View Profile
I like the chapter how it is :yes.  I really hope Littlefoot does not betray her, but that's my opinion.


Nick22

  • Administrator
  • The Gang of Five
  • *
    • Posts: 41213
    • View Profile
Its not a batrayal imo, if you really look deep[ inside of yourself..and change your mind after self-reflection.. that why there are engagement periods..
Winner of these:


Runner up for these: