Done.
It's kind of an odd feeling. I had been looking forward to typing this message for quite a while expecting it to be of a "lord of the rings - the ring is destroyed now" kind of tone, but for the moment it doesn't quite feel like it.
Today I handed in my final university papers so I am officially done with my studies now. Of course I am happy that the work is finished, of course I had been looking forward to it (the preemptive joy actually surpassing the relief of this moment), and I'm very confident that, having done a good job, I'm going to get a good mark in two months from now (at the latest).
But there is also kind of a gap now. That work had been most of my daily contents for nine months and it is not quite easy to "shut down" now. Not even sure if shutting down is really what I want to do. After all there is a lot left to be written about my topic (the German newspaper coverage of the American Civil War) that I could not fit on the 90 pages of the papers I handed in today. Completing that work may be the next task as a dissertation that would get me a doctor's degree, so if I wanted to I guess I could just go on starting to write about the coverage of the Lincoln assassination, of the atrocities committed against colored troops, of the technical developments, of the battle of Gettysburg, and hundreds of other topics yet to be covered. But I'm not sure if I want to yet.
Adam told me to "get a damn break"
and he has a good point. But somehow doing nothing is driving me both lazy and crazy. But in spite of the wish to do something I don't seem to get much done now. Many posts etc. which I wanted to write in the GOF ages ago already are still unwritten even though I do have the time available to write them now, but somehow not the mood. Maybe I just need a couple of wasted days to be back to normal.
Well, at least I got something done today. Some pictures were taken of the inside of my head (magnetic resonance tomography done to make sure that the incident of late may was indeed caused by a hypoqlycamia, not anything else) today and the insides seem to look the way they are supposed to. Interesting pictures by the way.
Moreover I just poured some silicon caoutchouc (I wonder if I will ever be able to spell that word without looking it up in an online dictionary) over the five land before time shoe-charms which I bought recently so if everything works out alright I may have a new LBT tin-mould for no less than five figures by tomorrow.
Finally I'm practicing playing the harmonica these days hoping to make it an instrument of music rather than an instrument of torment in my hands before setting out on August 5th to meet up with Gustav, Jason, and Patrick in Sweden. Now THAT's something I'm really looking forward to without any cut backs
Speaking of cut backs the completing of the studies and turning into something other than a student is also a little bitter sweet due to the fact that I got the confirmation today that there is no chance for me to get the job I have been applying for after my 1st, 3rd, 5th, and 7th semester already. The institute for North American History (same as any other place at the university) doesn't have the budget to pay for another scientific assistant. The weirdest thing about it all is that the need for more scientific assistants and lecturers is there, even the money is there in abundance, but the money that the university has from the study fees which had been introduced in 2007 must not be spend for wages of personal. There is a reason, an understandable reason even, for this, but I guess explaining it would go too far into German highschool finance politics to keep up any interest.
Professor Wala told me that while working on my dissertation I could apply for a scolarship as there seems to be enough money for those as well. I still don't like getting money for anything than doing a reliable job. –Pecunia non olet“, money doesn't smell Vespasian is supposed to have said. Still I hope not to be dependent on such gifts :unsure:
Anyway, all this rather damp talk does neither befit my general situation, nor my optimist and cheerful nature, so at least I will close with a picture of triumph with one issue of my final work in my hand (note that this is the version I printed for myself. The versions I handed in had the seal of the university on the cover rather than this self-designed image that refers to the topic):
