The Gang of Five
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The Land Before Time: Far Away Home

Caustizer · 415 · 54262

Caustizer

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Hey my readers and reviewers.

Wow, this is the longest chapter I have ever written coming in at 6,013 words.  Not too shabby, but i think it really concludes the storyline on Ruby's side enough to go into the marathon after the Littlefoot-Sky chapter coming up.  As a side note, I may also explore how the gang interacts with the Jungle Runners a bit more in a short story called (if i do it) "Ruby in the Jungle"

Author’s note:  The Jungle Runners do not have a language any less advanced then the Plains Runners like Ruby as well as the others, but their method of speaking is shorter and more to the point which leads Ruby, Cera, and the rest of the young dinosaurs to interpret it as lacking proper grammar points.  To another Jungle Runner, they are seen as sounding just fine.

Caustizer


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Part VIII: An Uneasy Alliance (Full Part):


The storm had arrived, and above the jungle canopy rain poured down from the heavens like the tears of some giant flyer in the sky, laced with the black ash that now filled the upper atmosphere.  The water dripped down through the leaves and pattered on the dense undergrowth all around, creating a cavernous roar that blocked out everything around him.   Chomper was running now, chasing the fast-biter through the ferns and assorted shrubbery like he was his saving grace.  It was a long shot, but Thudd might have found something important and since the sharptooth had decided not to eat him it was enough to prove the idea at least partially true.

Ever since that ridiculous game of walking on one foot with Gentry and Thylo, Chomper had discovered that running on the ends of feet was much more comfortable then remaining flat footed.  It felt strange and unfamiliar, but the increased agility and mobility more then made up for the new position.  Perhaps it was like his lost teeth, and just apart of growing up as a sharptooth… he didn’t know.  The truth was though, it was evidence he was growing up and he didn’t like it.  Being tall and strong would be nice, but he didn’t want to see the day where he turned on his friends.  Chomper just liked them too much, and he owed Littlefoot even more then that.

“Where are we going?” asked the sharptooth breathlessly as he pursued Thudd through the underbrush.

The fast-biter didn’t answer, and instead picked up the pace.  Silently cursing, Chomper ran faster to try and catch up.  Just as the sharptooth was starting to feel like he had to stop, they breached the jungle into a clearing.  It was not a natural one, but a forced crushing of the forest was some large creature to make a path to pass through.  Looking around, he could see that it was at least as large as his parents, if not bigger.  Whoever it was, he did not want to meet the being that did this.  

Thudd slowed, and then lowered his nose to the ground like a hound dog following a trail.  It was kind of funny, and Chomper couldn’t help but giggle as the ferocious fast-biter searched about for a scent the sharptooth knew nothing about.

“Be silent,” hissed Thudd, before continuing, “do you know who made these tracks?”

The fast-biter had been referring to a set of massive footprints that Chomper had mistaken for holes.  Eyeing them closely, he was at a loss.

“No… I…”

Then it hit him.  A mysterious new scent that was coming from the prints.  He picked it up in his nostrils, and immediately did the same as Thudd and lowered his nose to the ground to pick it up better.  The smell was not only familiar, but it was quite intimate like it was a core part of him.  Almost right away, Chomper recognized it.

“Hey, it’s-”

A shrill screech filled the air, so intense that it hurt his ears.  Thudd reacted too by growling and rearing his head to the sky, only to come face to face with an angry and rapidly descending black wingtail.

Glide had been following the group ever since his departure, unable to accept that he would be unwelcome with them amongst the runners.  Part of it was that he was obligated because of what his sister had asked of him, but the other part was that he simply enjoyed their company.  Whether he liked it or not the wingtail had found more purpose in keeping them safe then he ever had in the Feral Forest, and part of his personality demanded an intensive duty that he had to devote himself to at all times… be it ensuring the safety and well being of his sister, hunting down and punishing Sky, or watching over defenceless young ones.

The wingtail dove downwards, flipping out his feet at the last moment and making contact with Thudd.  The fast-biter wasn’t ready for the sudden attack, and was driven to the ground by the strike.  He thrashed out with his claws, catching one of Glide’s wings and ripping off a few feathers.  The wingtail barely noticed in his adrenaline filled rage, and went for the sharptooth’s throat in attempt to pin him.  It didn’t work, and Thudd capitalized on the opening with a vicious snap from his jaws.  The deadly teeth passed within a few inches of Glide’s face, before being deflected by a wide wing attack.  The two combatants separated, with the wingtail transitioning into a backwards hovering while the fast-biter got to his feet and crouched low, his teeth bared.  Thudd growled in defiance and anger at his opponent and Glide returned with a low, aggressive hiss.

Recovering from his shock at the sudden attack, Chomper tried to step in.

“Stop it, STOP IT!” he yelled while waving his arms.

It was no use, as both his friends hated each other to the bone and were sure to continue fighting until one of them was dead.  He felt small and useless as they came together again and started striking at one another.  Glide was bleeding in a few places on his nose and on his wing, and Thudd had cuts and bruises to sport too but despite these injuries both of them refused to give up.

A sudden roar sounded from deeper in the forest, followed almost immediately by a second.  The ground began to shake, and the thunderous stomping noises of a pair of fully grown sharpteeth filled the air.  The fight stopped promptly as Thudd took one sniff in the general direction of the coming sound and then split, getting away faster then Glide could catch him.  With a rustle of leaves the fast-biter disappeared into the bushes.  Satisfied at his victory, the black wingtail turned back towards his charge and landed next to him.  Time to turn his attention to the next biggest problem on hand.

“Get moving Chomper,” he grumbled urgently, using his real name for once, “something big and mean is coming our way and I can’t protect you from this one.”

Chomper turned towards him, and was smiling.  The expression was confusing to Glide, who had assumed he was simply paralyzed with fright.

“I think I’ll stay here,” answered the sharptooth.

“What are you doing?” fumed Glide angrily, “do you want to die? Whatever it is it’ll eat us for sure.”

The wingtail was about a second away from grabbing up the young sharptooth and ferrying him away when Chomper ran, going towards the source of the sound.

“Mommy! Daddy! I’m right here!”

Glide couldn’t help but think he had totally lost it… there’s no way his parents could possibly be that big.  Granted he had never seen an adult sharptooth before, but it’s not like they-.

Chomper’s massive parents burst through the trees, blood and murder in their eyes as it always was when they were hunting.  His mom was the first to notice the familiar smell… the scent of her son!  Chomper was speaking in sharptooth now, a chain of rasps and calls that the wingtail couldn’t understand.  As the shadows of both sharpteeth settled over Chomper and Glide, the black wingtail just stood there with his mouth slightly open, unable to move.

Chomper was overjoyed at having finally found his folks, and after a half a minute of exchange his mother leaned over and nuzzled her son affectionately followed by his father.

“I am glad to finally see you again my son,” remarked his mother lovingly, “even this far from our rightful home.”

“Indeed,” snarled his father, “tell me why you are so far away from where we left you near the leaf-eater valley.  There was plenty of food there and with those runners to find them for you it was easy meat.  Where is the runner child we told to guard you?”

“It’s a long story,” admitted Chomper with a hint of regret.  He forgot about how his parents saw things, and how they certainly didn’t approve of his friendship with Littlefoot and the others even though they saved his life on the island.

“But Glide’s guarding me now…and… he eats meat!  Just like us.”

The young sharptooth felt it necessary to add the last part, since he wanted to make sure his parents knew the black wingtail was his friend.  He was thankful Glide didn’t understand sharptooth to object to the ascertation.

Glide was actually too stunned to think about speaking, as both older sharpteeth were now staring right at him.  What did Chomper say to them about him?  He could only wonder, but his gut instincts told him it was going to be okay… after all they were his charge’s parents and he had done a pretty good job of keeping him safe thus far.  On the side, he wondered what this would mean for the rest of the children elseware in the jungle…



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 If Chomper had problems keeping up with Thudd, Ruby was on the same leaf with Siak.  The female spike-mouth was fast and knew the place a lot better than any of the young dinosaurs did, so naturally she started pulling away in their progress.  Fortunately though, she seemed to realize her mistake and slowed down, sniffing the air frequently as an excuse for doing so.  Cera, Gentry, Thylo, and Chomper were a bit of a distance behind, but nonetheless Ruby was getting a bit annoyed by Siak’s loud sniffing... it was getting to the point that it was obnoxious and on purpose, like what her little brother used to do when he wanted attention after the twins hatched.  Ruby’s brother would sit there and whine as if he had suffered some sort of injury until their mom turned to make sure he was okay.  It got to the point where Ruby simply couldn’t take it anymore and she yelled at him to be quiet.  Their mom wasn’t pleased, but she did agree that he got what he deserved.  Perhaps a similar response was needed here too.

“You know... if you weren’t making so much noise maybe there would be more to hear,” commented Ruby.

Siak stopped her sniffing spree, and plucked a flower growing of a bush in their path.  She brought it to her nose, and sucked in a large swathe of its sweet scent.

“What, so it’s against the laws of nature to enjoy one’s surroundings?” Siak answered playfully.

“…No,” answered Ruby, stumbling with the awkwardness of the situation.  The spike-mouth had a much stronger personality then any one of them, besides maybe Glide, so it was difficult to compete.  Best just to let it be.

“I wouldn’t worry too much dear,” continued Siak, “I happen to be one of the best sniffers around!  There’s no way any of those sharpteeth could sneak up on me without-”

The spike-mouth stopped abruptly as she walked into something.  It was the result of her not paying attention as she was talking to Ruby.

“Oww,” whined Siak as she rubbed her nose, and she chuckled a bit, “dratted trees… get me from time to time.”

But it wasn’t a tree.  The runner before them was unlike any Ruby had ever seen before, and he was large, though not fully grown.  He looked weathered and sharp, with the features of a young adult growing in on his visage. His dirty blue skin bared lines of both past combat, and the coming of maturity.  From the tip of his nose to the top of his crest the runner carried an expression of stern annoyance, hinting that he certainly wasn’t glad to see them.   The fact that Siak hadn’t smelt him could be attributed to the mud that was smeared all over his sides, which had been done to block out his scent for that very reason.

“Oh,” remarked Siak heartedly, “pardon my clumsiness... I don’t suppose you could take us to the rest of the runners in a pinch? I’m sure after all this time the children will miss me.”

The runner clicked his tongue, and suddenly at least ten more appeared, surrounding them all completely.  If the group had been looking for them, they certainly had found their mark.

“Really,” commented Siak after looking around, “is this any way to treat a friend of the runners? You all with your silent surround and intimidate tactics... I was kind of expecting a greeting, maybe a hug for old time sake.”

The runner stepped forward, and sniffed the spike-mouth briefly.

“Friend Siak?” he asked.

Siak laughed.

“I couldn’t have smelt like anything else now could I? ... Unless it was the fish I had from lunch. ...was it the fish?”

The runner nodded, but ignored her.

“Why you bring others? ... We not know them.”

Cera forced her way through the bushes, followed closely by Gentry and Thylo.  A female jungle runner at least twice their size escorted them through, much to the threehorn’s displeasure.  If she didn’t happen to be looking for them, Cera could have fought the runner and probably won despite the size difference.  After all, nobody but a sharptooth could beat her on the ground... and even then...

“Well it looks like they found us,” grumbled Cera dispassionately.

Gentry lowered his head, and whispered into Thylo’s ear.

“Wow these chaps are even dirtier than us... their mommies must never tell them to wash.”

Thylo giggled, catching their runner captor’s attention.  She growled aggressively at the two of them, forcing both into silence.

In the meantime, Siak was busy speaking to the runner she ran into.

“They are friends too... at least I think they are.”

The last part was supposed to be a joke, and the spike-mouth chuckled a bit.

“What you mean?” asked the runner, eyeing the group suspiciously.

Ruby could see that if she didn’t speak up soon, Siak would get them into trouble.  The spike-mouth meant the best for all of them, but she couldn’t see that these were the serious hunters... not the friendly runners she was probably used to dealing with.  One bad word and the group of them could be seen as enemies and turned away or hurt.

“We have a message for all the grown-ups,” stated Ruby seriously, “we need to see them to tell them what the message is.”

The runner came up to Ruby, and sniffed her a few times.

“You a lowland runner,” he commented with a nod, “you friend.”

He made a beckoning gesture with his head to the rest of his pack, and they moved out around him.

“Come with us... you see Alpha now.”


...


The path was easier as it became better trodden and used.  The jungle runners had certain routes they used on a regular basis through the dense undergrowth and where they had passed frequently the ground was hard and easy to walk smoothly over.  The route that the runners led them through was still slightly soggy from where the pouring rain had fell upon it, but now the sun was beaming in through the trees and drying up the ground to the point where the moisture was starting to disappear.  Strange flyers filled the canopies above and chirped to themselves while they carried about their daily business. Cera could hear some of the things they were saying, but they were quite uninteresting.  Besides, the threehorn had other things to think about.

This entire journey hadn’t been a fun one for Cera.  First Sky had spirited the gang away towards some place she knew absolutely nothing about, and then he had had the nerve to treat down Ruby.  Littlefoot had sided with the wingtail too, and the memory was still bright in her mind about how the fight went down.  As bitter as it was though, she wasn’t angry anymore.  For all the faults of their journey so far, at least she had seen farther into the world than any other time before.  Apart from nearly dying, the flight with the wingtails and being caught in the swirling whirlpool were actually kind of fun. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t so bad... separate from all that though, she wished that Littlefoot and the others were here – she missed them.

Of all the dinosaurs in this group, Cera didn’t like it as much as being with Littlefoot, Petrie, Ducky and Spike.  For one, Thylo was the type that always had too much to say about nothing and Gentry was just plain annoying.  Glide, when he was here, was too silent and suspicious for her to talk to him.  That left Chomper and Ruby.

Cera looked around, checking to see if Chomper was anywhere.  Not finding him, she snorted and decided to make a bit of conversation with Ruby instead.  As it would turn out, the fastrunner was busy speaking to someone else.

“You real clean for coming such long way,” commented one of the jungle runners, who had slowed down to adjust to Ruby’s pace, “you must wash lots, have very good taste.”

“Why…thank you, I try my best,” answered Ruby contently.

“…but you dumb,” continued the male runner.

The jab caught Ruby off guard, and she stopped walking.

“…What?”

“Sharpteeth find you real fast,” replied the male runner with a nod, “make meal out of skin.”

The runner bent over and scooped up a handful of mud from a sopping puddle in the dirt, and rolled it in his hands.

“I fix for you.”

He tried to move towards Ruby’s flank to apply it, but she stepped back in disgust pushing him away with a palm up gesture from her hands.

“No, no wait… I’m fine thank you.”

The runner frowned.

“You sure?”

“Yes,” assured Ruby, before adding, “thanks for thinking of me though.”

A few moments passed, an awkward silence with just the two of them standing there unsure of what to say.  Eventually, the male runner broke it.

“I Swiftwalker,” introduced the runner, and he extended his hand.

Ruby took it.

“I’m Ruby,” she said sincerely.

The two of them smiled at one another, and parted hands.

“I show you around home when we get there… you meet whole family!” Swiftwalker continued with a bit of excitement.

Truth be told, Ruby was kind of excited too.  She had never seen another runner outside her family before, and this pack was fascinating to her.  Growing up knowing just her immediate relatives was not a bad thing in her mind, but seeing so many others of her kind in such a sudden moment… it was like Ruby was starting to feel at home already.

Cera saw all this of course, and even listened in for some of it.  Great… now Ruby had a friend from nowhere in particular too, and would ignore her as well.  At least if Littlefoot were here he wouldn’t just rub off the threehorn like the others did.  That and Petrie, Ducky and Spike too… they all seemed to want her opinion whenever she offered it.  Cera was starting to realize that maybe she shouldn’t have fought with the longneck over something as petty as a snub from Sky to Ruby.  All things considered, she would rather have Sky and Littlefoot here any day instead of that annoying egg-stealer and spiketail behind her and that aggressive and snotty wingtail Glide.

Oh well, at least she could talk to Chomper.  Deliberately slowing down, Cera let Gentry and Thylo pass her as well as all the runners.  Looking back, she noticed direly that the small sharptooth wasn’t there.  Skipping a step, she stampeded up to the albino egg-stealer and confronted him.

“Where’s Chomper? You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him,” she yelled in anger.

Gentry blinked, and glanced back quickly.

“Oh…err… wasn’t that black bloke supposed to be doing that?”

Cera fumed, and stomped her foot.

“Glide isn’t even here you egg-head!  You lost him!”

“Now don’t go blaming me here girl, I’m not his egg-sitter there.”

The argument picked up very quickly, and Ruby came over to settle it.

“What happened to make you two argue about what happened?” asked Ruby.

Cera growled at Gentry.

“He wasn’t paying attention and now Chomper got left behind.”

Gentry bounced once and widened his stance, in case there was a fight.

“The crazy threehorn goes all on about how it’s my fault he wasn’t following us, when I’m not all of his watcher and guarder and…”

“Chomper’s missing? ... Oh no!” interrupted Ruby dramatically, “we have to find him before something happens to him!”

The lead runner heard her distress and offered to help, sending one of his own hunters to find her friend.  Ruby was thankful; even though she was sure the scout wouldn’t react too kindly to rescuing a sharptooth.  It didn’t matter though… she needed Chomper back safe and sound.  If his parents ever found out she let him out of her sight, she would be in serious trouble.





Ruby, Cera, Gentry, Thylo and Siak reached the home of the runners just before sundown, and were welcomed cautiously as the inhabitants went about their night routine.  The Deep Glade, as it was called, was actually a collection of holes jutting out into the dense undergrowth.  Families were connected by paths that had been cut out of the vines and massive tree roots along the ground, forming what could be perceived as a surface tunnel network.  The entrances to the Glade were guarded by two runners at all times during the night, who blended themselves to get the first eye on any threats coming in.

The Runner Alpha, the male who led the greater group, turned out to be away on a fishing hunt – that is following the migration of water swimmers up the river – so naturally he couldn’t see them right away.  As a result, Ruby, Cera and the rest of the gang were given time to interact with the locals and get used to the new setting.

Over the course of four days Ruby was introduced to Swiftwalker’s friends (whom all seemed to be interested in her in one way or another), went out to the river with a fishing group to learn their techniques, and even watched as Siak took care of a group of young runners that were very fond of her.  It was a very interesting thing, seeing a spike-mouth acting as a babysitter while the parents went away to hunt, and Ruby could see just how close she had become to the runners and why they respected her so much.  Thylo even joined Siak’s group… purely to find some new friends to play with.  Despite how different the spiketail was the runner hatchlings took to her almost immediately.  Chomper was still missing, and Ruby was constantly worried about what happened to him.  When the runner that had gone looking for him came back with no findings, it worried her even more.  He had to be out there… safe and sound just like he always was right?  The thought was disquieting.

Oddly enough Cera seemed to have a bit of energy, and more then once Ruby caught her opening up to their hosts… though the fastrunner didn’t call her on it.   The jungle runners took her along to pick berries, and the threehorn’s method of knocking them down out of the bushes with her head was very well received. Seeing Cera actually enjoying herself for once was a relief for Ruby, since she had sensed her friend was dragged down a bit since they were separated from Littlefoot and Sky.

Gentry was a different story.  Though he had a good personality she knew, for some reason the runners just didn’t like him.  He would sit under one of the trees all day cracking open fruits and eating the insides.  Ruby asked him if he was okay, but he just responded he was fine and having a great time.  It took about two days for the reason for the odd behaviour to become apparent.  Being around so many nests, many of them unguarded, pricked at his instincts and one day he couldn’t resist anymore and he stole an egg.  Fortunately Siak got to him before the runners could beat him to a pulp, and smoothed the situation over a bit.  After that the egg-stealer was feeling pretty down, until Cera offered to bring him along on one of the berry runs.  It was an unusual act of kindness for her, but maybe it was evidence of maturity at last.

Overall, things couldn’t be better for the gang, and Ruby couldn’t help but feel that something was starting between her and Swiftwalker… the male just seemed to want to be around her all the time, even when he was supposed to be doing other things.  She didn’t mind, and actually enjoyed his company.  On the night of the fourth day, Siak came up to her with important tidings.

“Good news girl,” informed Siak with a smile, “the Alpha is back, and he says he will meet with you and me as the Great Circle hits the horizon tonight.”

Ruby nodded.

“…I hope you know what you plan to say though,” continued the spike-mouth, “remember that these are adults and they only have so much time for these things you see.”

“I know,” replied Ruby, “I’ve thought about it a lot and I think I know what I want to say… and how I want to say it.”

“Good,” declared Siak, and she turned to depart, “…I have a few charges to return to their folks, but mark me I shouldn’t be long.  Oh how I do enjoy taking care of them you know.”


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Aizon was pleased with how the arrangements had all worked out.  Cinceel, Theanol, and the other four remaining elders had agreed to accompany him to witness this ëgreat event’ that he had described.  More then any promises, they had listened purely because of his name and family reputation.  Any time one of Benzon or his sons had come to the wingtail elders with a request, they had always obeyed… and great good resulted.  Almost according to tradition then, they forfeited their plans for the day and followed the navy wingtail into the jungle unaware of what might be awaiting them.  For his plan to work, it had to be that way.

“As I’m sure you are aware is well beyond our time of rest,” jabbed Cinceel as the group came in for a landing on a darkened set of trees.  It was almost too late to see.

“The night is required if what is to happen here is to succeed,” countered Aizon confidently.

Cinceel snorted, but Theanol nudged her wing to prevent her from saying anything too out of line like she had a bad habit of doing.

“If I might bring it to light, Cinceel is partly correct,” the green elder informed Aizon, “we are not as young as we used to be and we are in need of rest before-f”

Aizon dawned a look of concentration, and shot one of his fingers up to his mouth in a gesture of silence.  Theanol obeyed.  With a sweeping motion of his arm, the navy wingtail pointed at a spot on the ground bellow.  All the elders stared where the Grand Creator was pointing until a glint of shiny skin and a flurry of movement revealed the creatures entering the clearing.  They were runners, and not just any runners but the Alpha and his personal escort of hopefuls and family members.  Amongst the group, to Aizon’s delight, were Ruby and Siak trudging along carefully in the darkness.  Everything was working out according to plan.  The jungle runners and their guests arranged themselves into the usual position in the clearing where the Alpha stood on a rock, overlooking the slight hallow where the plains runner and the spike-mouth would sit to issue their address.  Ironically, the way things were positioned the wingtail elders were directly behind them in a perfect arrangement for a court.  Aizon chuckled a bit silently as he remarked on the formation.  The wingtails still hadn’t been seen yet.

Cinceel, for all her cursed sharpness, was the first to recognise the shapes on the ground for what they truly were.

“Runners!” she shouted venomously.

A few of the elders hissed loudly, and the runners stepped back in shock before returning with shouts and growls of their own.  The air filled with screeches, yelling and curses as the two sides laid into each other from a distance, each highlighting the offenses of the other loudly for all to hear.  Feathers were ruffled and stones were thrown as the two bitter enemies clashed with words like a disorderly house of parliament.  A minute of mudslinging and Aizon had had enough.  Swooping to the ground, the navy wingtail turned towards a jumble of rotting wood that was a fallen tree and clapped his hands together hard.

Immediately, the tree burst into flames and a fireball of immense heat and size rose up into the sky illuminating the surprised and shocked faces of runner and wingtail alike.  Ruby and Siak dropped to the ground and covered their heads, fearful of the sudden burst.  A few moments later the fire had died down to a dull roar, and nothing but the calm crackling of the still burning tree could be heard.  Against the flame a silhouette of a single wingtail, feathers flapping silently in the inferno wind, could be seen.  With a glorious smile across his face, Aizon turned to see his adoring audience.

It had been a simple trick really… he had basted the tree in a mixture of volcanic dust, lye powder, and salt water from a tubular glass flask he carried from his home for the express purpose a few days earlier, and then simply ignited it with the tapping of firestones in his hands.  The navy wingtail wore two glass rings, one on each hand, tipped with sparking stones that when brought together vigorously in a clap created a shower of sparks.  The result was exactly what he needed to get everyone’s attention, in a big way.

“I am sure that neither of our two races has come here today with the intention of putting down the other… in fact neither of you were expecting it.  Here we are, the foremost of our kindred, tearing each other apart with petty squabbles and childish insults.  I think it is time you all knew why you are really here.”

Aizon took off his glasses, and cleaned them at his own pace leaving everyone silently waiting for his word.  The wingtail cleared his throat, and continued.

“There is a threat that hunts both of us… an army of sharpteeth that would consume our homes and eat our children as they see fit.  King Tyron comes, and what he has done to the Feral Forest he will now do here as well.”

The Alpha Runner stood to his feet, and snorted.

“Bah, we no listen to wingtail lies!”

The rest of his family seemed to agree, and added their own shouts to the mix.  Cinceel was offended, and was about to refute the insult when Aizon beat her to it.

“If you will not listen to me,” commanded the navy wingtail confidently, “…then will you listen to the word of one of your own?”

The Grand Creator turned towards Ruby, and nodded heavily in her direction.  She could see that now was the moment of truth… the time when the wingtail knew the weight of a runner-wingtail alliance hung on her shoulders.  Hesitating a moment to compose herself, she begun her story.

Ruby told of their journey, about being judged by a wingtail, and how she was caught up in a plot kidnapping her friend.  The story was believable by the jungle runners, as they had witnessed such things from wingtails before.  But, she changed her tone mid-way through, describing her friendship was one particular wingtail… a black wingtail who saved her life a few times and protected the group.  She omitted the part about Eybron, but mentioned the kind hearted scarlet wingtail who held her as the sharpteeth attacked.  She spoke of blood and fighting between the sharpteeth and the wingtails, and her narrow escape.  Finally, she ended talking about the horrifying event Aizon had shown her and the impact of what it meant for the jungle runners.  If this sharptooth menace was ever to be stopped, then it had to be done with both races together side by side.

The navy wingtail supplemented her speech with some of his own art, in the form of shadows on a rock face.  The fire provided a convenient light source for Aizon to produce imagines using his own hands.  He made sharpteeth, wingtails, and runners so fluidly those watching were transfixed by his skills and majesty.  In the end, both the jungle runners and the wingtails were silent… so silent that the sounds of the crackling fire and creatures of the night could be heard.  At last, the Alpha Runner spoke out.

“That be good tale… but there no sharpteeth here now.  You wingtail skilled in trickery and deceit… how we know to trust you?”

Siak stepped forward, and stood beside Aizon.

“I happen to know that he is a great friend of mine, and one of the most trustworthy flyers one on the ground could ever meet.  If you won’t listen to him then by all that swims why listen to anyone at all?”

Siak’s support ignited a storm of whispering within the runners, and even the wingtail elders took a moment to discuss the turning of events thus far. After a minute, the Alpha stood up to speak again.

“Family say we willing to be friends… but only if wingtails not attack us no more and screech and hiss at us.”

Aizon nodded and turned to Cinceel, Theanol and the rest of the elders.  They seemed to have reached a decision as well.  Clearing her throat, Cinceel opened her beak to speak.

“…and we no talk to wingtail witch.”

Snapping her beak in rage, Cinceel shouted back.

“What did you egg-breakers call me?” she hissed.

Theanol stepped in, and shouted back.

“Be silent Cinceel!  If they will not deal with you then they will deal with me in this matter.”

The greyish female fumed, but she was forced to relinquish her lead as the other elders agreed.  As a gesture of good will, Theanol glided to the ground and landed in front of Aizon.

“We the wingtails are willing to forgive all past conflicts and not hold your people to them as you say, in return for peace and your aid in retaking our home.”

The Alpha walked forward, and soon he too was directly in front of Aizon as the flames danced behind him.  As the wingtail and the runner approached, the Grand Creator took both their hands with his own.

“Something divine is being wrought today… a forgiveness between our races that has never existed before in our history.  The agreement must be sealed, for all of us to see, in the shaking of hands.”

Theanol sighed and extended his hand towards the runner.  The Alpha hesitated, and slowly did the same.  In a crowning moment for the history of both races, their hands met and the deal was sealed.  Wingtails and Runners were now friends.

“Well that’s a relief,” commented Siak inappropriately, “I thought it was getting a bit too stuffy around here.”

A couple of runners laughed, and one of the elders snickered a bit.

The Alpha and Theanol departed, each going their separate ways back to their party.  There was an unnatural silence, as both sides could hardly believe what had just occurred.  Generations of hate were just gone… disappeared in the wind.  Although it would be a long time before the two races would actually get along with one another, it was important that now, in unison, they would resist the vile grip of Tyron and drive his unnatural order into the dust.  The Battle of the Sonicron was coming near, and although many may die… the end justified the means.

“And so it begins…” whispered Aizon.


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Sky

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Quote
“And so it begins…” whispered Aizon.
Oohh... it makes me shiver. ^_^

Haha! The jungle runners speak like Petrie!  :lol

That was, indeed the longest chapter!  :o  :lol:
It was awesome to read. I feel so excited, yet a little sad as it comes near to the end.  :cry  :wow


Caustizer

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It's already been a week since I posted and I'm just starting the last official chapter before the marathon starts.  Kind of dissapointed I didn't get more responses on this, but it happens I guess.  October in my experience is a pretty busy month :angel

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This is truely an amazing story so far, keep it up. It's writers like you that inspire me  :DD


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Quote from: Redtooth101,Oct 4 2010 on  06:00 PM
This is truely an amazing story so far, keep it up. It's writers like you that inspire me  :DD
Thanks.

Far Away Home is almost done though, but there is a lot of story to read if you want to take in the whole thing. :lol


Pangaea

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AUGH! I’m so sorry for the late review! :bang :bang :bang I don’t know what’s been with me lately! :wacko I was working on this review just yesterday morning, but somehow I couldn’t concentrate on finishing it (Even just now I was getting words mixed up as I typed this). Maybe it’s just all the things I have on my mind right now…

Quote from: Sky,Oct 1 2010 on  01:49 PM
Quote
“And so it begins…” whispered Aizon.
Oohh... it makes me shiver. ^_^
Personally, it felt a little clichÈd to me…I swear I've heard a line exactly like that before. :unsure:

Quote from: Sky,Oct 1 2010 on  01:49 PM
Haha! The jungle runners speak like Petrie! :lol
I wonder if that would mean that if Petrie were to talk to them, they wouldn’t see anything wrong with his grammar :p (aside from his usage of the word “me”).

I liked the part of the story told from Cera’s point of view, hearing her retrospective feelings about the earlier argument, and how she feels about the others in her group. The one thing that I felt was missing was that we still have not heard a word about what she thinks of Siak. It’s not that I think the character I created should get more attention (what I am about to say would go for any character in her position); it’s just that it doesn’t make sense to me that absolutely none of the group besides Ruby has shared so much as a thought about this individual since their initial reaction to her. Even if Siak’s role in the story is minor, to from the gang’s perspective she should be fairly significant, being a near-stranger (who is moreover a member of a strange and rather scary-looking species none of them has seen before) whom they had previously known about only through a few words from Aizon, who has rather suddenly replaced Glide as their warden. Given that Cera in particular is rather slow to trust new individuals she meets, I’m surprised that she has been so accepting of Siak that she does not even give a single thought about her. It’s probably too late to change any of this, but I wanted to share my thoughts.

I hate to say it, but I was little disappointed that you didn’t go into more detail on the gang’s arrival at the Deep Glade and the time they spent twith the jungle runners. A while back, in a small spoiler lapse, you mentioned that Gentry would steal a jungle runner egg. I had expected that this would be a more significant plot point. Did he actually eat the egg? If he had, then it sounds far less likely that the runners would forgive him for it, unless you went into greater detail on how Ruby reconciled them (did it have anything to do with the fact that the jungle runners are occasional nest raiders as well, and so can sympathize with an egg stealer more than most leafeaters?) I do suppose that, in a chapter/story this long and complex, you can’t afford to go into depth on everything that doesn’t have a direct impact on the plot, which is too bad.

I just thought of something: I wonder what’s happened to Glide, Chomper, and Chomper’s parents in this time, not to mention Littlefoot’s group.

My favorite part of the chapter was probably the meeting between the wingtails and the jungle runners. I loved Aizon’s trick for getting everyone’s attention, and I also liked just how he cleverly managed to bring the two groups together, with just the right ambassadors to get them to see eye-to eye. And I laughed at the Alpha’s reference to Cinceel as “wingtail witch”. :lol Gives us an idea of what their meetings with her in the past have been like. :p And the imagery at the end of the Alpha and Theanol sealing the agreement was great (not to mention Siak’s line afterwards :lol).

Surprisingly enough for such a long chapter, I didn’t find that many errors in it:

Quote
“I couldn’t have smelt like anything else now could I? ... Unless it was the fish I had from lunch. ...was it the fish?”
Although this line sounds a lot funnier with “fish”, shouldn’t she be saying “water swimmers”?

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Littlefoot had sided with the wingtail too, and the memory was still bright in her mind about how the fight went down. As bitter as it was* though, she wasn’t angry anymore.
”Went” should be “had gone”, and “was” should be “had been”, with a comma.

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“Where’s Chomper? You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him,” she yelled in anger.
I think you should have an exclamation point here.

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The lead runner heard her distress and offered to help, sending one of his own hunters to find her friend. Ruby was thankful; even though she was sure the scout wouldn’t react too kindly to rescuing a sharptooth. It didn’t matter though… she needed Chomper back safe and sound. If his parents ever found out * she ** let him out of her sight, she would be in serious trouble.
This paragraph is written a little confusingly: the red-highlighted part makes it sound as if the lead runner has already sent a scout out to find Chomper, but from the yellow-highlighted part, it’s apparent that he has only made the offer to help, and not yet sent the scout. Personally, I think both of these parts would be better written out in greater detail, with dialogue.
*Insert “that”.
**Insert “had”.

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Chomper was still missing, and Ruby was constantly worried about what * happened to him.
*Insert “had”.

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Though he had a good personality* she knew, for some reason the runners just didn’t like him.
Change the comma to “that”. (If you wanted to keep the comma as well, you should add another one after “reason”.)
*Insert comma.

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The jungle runners and their guests arranged themselves into the usual position in the clearing where the Alpha stood on a rock, overlooking the slight hallow where the plains runner and the spike-mouth would sit to issue their address.
”The usual position” should be “their usual positions”, and “hallow” should be “hollow”.

Quote
It had been a simple trick really… he had basted the tree in a mixture of volcanic dust, lye powder, and salt water from a tubular glass flask he * carried from his home for the express purpose a few days earlier, and then simply ignited it with the tapping of firestones in his hands.
*Insert “had”.

Quote
The fire provided a convenient light source for Aizon to produce imagines using his own hands. He made sharpteeth, wingtails, and runners so fluidly * those watching were transfixed by his skills and majesty.
”Imagines” should be “images”.
*Insert “that”.

So just one more chapter before the marathon…I can’t believe it’s so close. :o Next time, I’ll try to be more expedient in posting my review.



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Serris

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I only have time for a "flash review" of the latest chapter.  I MAY do a "deep review" of all the chapters I missed sometime.

Erm in any case,

I agree with Pangaea that Aizon's "and so it begins" line is a bit cliche. It works though.

I kind feel like you glossed over the group's interactions with the jungle runners.

On the plus side, I liked the diplomacy meeting between the wingtails and the jungle runners.

On a REALLY nitpicky note, lye, salt water and volcanic ash are non flammable nor do they react with wood to turn it flammable. Also, lye does not form natural
deposits.   The wingtails would have had to electrolyze salt water to get a lye solution. Of course if you meant saltepeter or nitre (Sodium or Potassium Nitrate) then it is slightly more believable (available as natural deposits and an oxidizer).

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Caustizer

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I don't like doing it, but the gang's interaction with the Jungle Runners was glossed over for a number of reasons:

1) If i did it in full in the story, it would only add more chapters to an already excessively long Act.  While you the readers are likely not opposed to this, I feel that Far Away Home is nearing its time to end and I am working towards that instead of details at this point.

2) Doing it now would mean I couldn't do my short story, "Ruby In The Jungle" at a later date.  Overall, what Ruby and the Gang thinks of the Jungle Runners is unimportant to the plot compared to the Runner Wingtail alliance.

---

I'm glad you all liked the diplomatic exchange, since it was a part I had been looking forward to doing as well.  The line I personally like the most was the “Family say we willing to be friends… but only if wingtails not attack us no more and screech and hiss at us.” part, because the Alpha's demands are so trivial that it reveals how shallow the basis for the rift between the two races is.

Quote
On a REALLY nitpicky note, lye, salt water and volcanic ash are non flammable nor do they react with wood to turn it flammable. Also, lye does not form natural
deposits. The wingtails would have had to electrolyze salt water to get a lye solution. Of course if you meant saltepeter or nitre (Sodium or Potassium Nitrate) then it is slightly more believable (available as natural deposits and an oxidizer).

The term 'Lye Stone' is a Wingtail term, not a human term.  It refers to an entirely different substance then what humans refer to when they say the same thing.  So unless the rift of time and space was broken and the Wingtails and Humans collaberated to discuss science, then it's safe to assume that we don't know exactly what lye-stone and lye-powder are.  Only that the powder is explosive and can be forged into Volcanic Glass.

Quote
The one thing that I felt was missing was that we still have not heard a word about what she thinks of Siak

While it may be discouraging to not have whole paragraphs devoted to Siak since you spent so much time thinking her up, remember that I can't do indepth 'what X character thinks about X character' lines all the time or else the story would become huge and progress at a snail's pace.

Now if the entire story was about Siak in one way or another - kind of like how LBT2 was about Chomper and LBT12 was about Petrie - this would be a critical oversight but in Far Away Home it is fundamentally about Sky, Star and Glide as well as how the gang interacts with them.

Thanks for the reviews everyone!

Caustizer.



Serris

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All right, since I have a lot of free time, here is part of the promised "deep review".

Act 4 - Part II: The Good and the Bad

I really, really like Prince Tyrus as a villain. He strikes me as perfect example of the classic "sadistic noble" archetype...even if he is a dinosaur.

Eybron is pretty good too. I really like him, especially his snarkiness. In some way, he reminds me of Han Solo.

The description of the pyroclastic flow ravaged valley is really, really "lovely". Very vivid.

Hmm. Littlefoot is quite honorable so it seems a touch OOC for him to deliver a vicious beating to a nearly dead fast-biter or essentially tell his friends to die. Granted, you did provide a pretty good justification for why he was acting this way and as Pangaea noted, this is not without precedent.  

Mechanical notes:

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commented the annoying sharpbeak *Macaw* as he swirled overhead
*Insert commas.

Quote
Sharpbeaks were sometimes called 'hatchling slashers'
Quotation marks should be used. Apostrophes are used only if someone is quoting someone else in their speech or for possessives or contractions.

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"Your father is sick* my prince... he is dying."
*Insert comma

Quote
stomped forward towards the shore, charging his attack.
This may not be the best construction because the way you wrote it, it sounds like Prince Tyrus is "charging up" some sort of energy based attack.

Perhaps a better construction would be "He stomped forward towards the shore, charging the interloping Wingtail"

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“You fight like a sharptooth* wingtail,”
*Insert comma.

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“When I get to you, you’ll eat those words* wingtail.”
*Insert comma

Quote
illuminating the brackish sky with a fog-like haze of light
"Brackish" means a mix of salt and fresh water (or slightly salty) and it usually refers to liquids. I think you meant "blackish".

--------------------------------------------------------------

Act 4 - Part V: Reconciliation

I like how well you portrayed the emotions and feelings of the characters.

I have to admit the "psuedo mouth-to-mouth" with Ali and Littlefoot made me laugh (even though it made the EMT in me cringe).


On a side note here are some "mechanical" things I want to mention:

Quote
Announced by the howling of the winds and the crashing of the waves on a distant shore, the torrent began to wash away the black soot that had covered everything and to purge the Steppes of the volcanic poisons that filled it

I think the "to" I highlighted is unnecessary.

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Jasper

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I decided to read this too and it took me almost the entire day to do so, but I enjoyed every second of this story. Great story Caustizer keep up the good work.


Pangaea

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Quote from: Caustizer,Oct 6 2010 on  09:08 AM
I don't like doing it, but the gang's interaction with the Jungle Runners was glossed over for a number of reasons:

1) If i did it in full in the story, it would only add more chapters to an already excessively long Act. While you the readers are likely not opposed to this, I feel that Far Away Home is nearing its time to end and I am working towards that instead of details at this point.

2) Doing it now would mean I couldn't do my short story, "Ruby In The Jungle" at a later date. Overall, what Ruby and the Gang thinks of the Jungle Runners is unimportant to the plot compared to the Runner Wingtail alliance.
Somehow I completely forgot about the potential “Ruby in the Jungle” story. :slap Now that you've reminded me though, the minimized detail of the gang's stay with the jungle runners makes perfect sense (especially combined with reason #1, which I had already suspected had something to do with it). Sorry about that. :oops

Oh yeah; I also forgot to mention that I love the idea of a short spin-off story, and would love to see you write it. :yes :D I'm also much more accepting of the reduced descriptiveness of the jungle scenes in this chapter if they will be covered in greater depth in another story. :p

Quote
Quote
The one thing that I felt was missing was that we still have not heard a word about what she thinks of Siak
While it may be discouraging to not have whole paragraphs devoted to Siak since you spent so much time thinking her up, remember that I can't do indepth 'what X character thinks about X character' lines all the time or else the story would become huge and progress at a snail's pace.

Now if the entire story was about Siak in one way or another - kind of like how LBT2 was about Chomper and LBT12 was about Petrie - this would be a critical oversight but in Far Away Home it is fundamentally about Sky, Star and Glide as well as how the gang interacts with them.
Though I would be lying to say that I'm not just a little disappointed that Siak's role in the story is so minor, I specifically said that that's NOT the reason I made that comment. (I actually think it looks bad for me to critique your portrayal of my own character, and tried to emphasize that it was not personal, but eveidently I did not do so enough. :rolleyes) It's just that it makes no sense to me that the gang would be so ambivalent about so suddenly entrusting themselves to her guardianship and leaving Glide entirely. While they may not have all completely trusted Glide, they had been in the same proverbial boat with him for some time (having been imprisoned, escaped, been sucked down a whirlpool, and traveled quite a ways through unfamiliar territory). Then Aizon sends them to find another dinosaur (Siak) who he claims will help them (and given her inherent distrust of wingtails, should Cera really be that comfortable with the idea?), who turns out to be a variety of dinosaur which most of the gang has a deep and inborn fear of (even if she does talk, and looks and acts like no other sharptooth they've ever seen), and of whom most of them are indeed frightened of at first. In the span of a few minutes, however, their fear and distrust of this character apparently vanishes with neither a trace nor subsequent reference. Then Glide, who has been their best protection since escaping from the wingtail prison, departs, leaving them all in the care of this stranger, who then takes them to meet a group of strange and potentially dangerous dinosaurs. And yet not even Cera gives so much as a single thought to this sudden change in guardianship, or shows any obvious reaction to it. The fact that she was contemplating all of her other present traveling companions makes this omission of attention even more obvious, and seem even more unusual.

Honestly, I'm okay that Siak doesn't have a major role in the story. I am plenty content with the extent of her involvement so far, and do not care if her role never becomes any more significant. Furthermore, I've said it multiple times before, and I'll say it again: I really like your portrayal of her as a character. I'm not asking you to mention Siak in every other paragraph, or elevate her character status to “the newest member of the gang”, but you could really stand to use a bit more descriptiveness sometimes, both to make the story more logical and for the readers' benefit. And I reiterate: this is not because I want Siak to have more attention; if she were not my character, I would still be saying this.



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Caustizer

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Quote from: Pangaea,Oct 8 2010 on  03:03 AM
Now if the entire story was about Siak in one way or another - kind of like how LBT2 was about Chomper and LBT12 was about Petrie - this would be a critical oversight but in Far Away Home it is fundamentally about Sky, Star and Glide as well as how the gang interacts with them.
Though I would be lying to say that I'm not just a little disappointed that Siak's role in the story is so minor, I specifically said that that's NOT the reason I made that comment. (I actually think it looks bad for me to critique your portrayal of my own character, and tried to emphasize that it was not personal, but eveidently I did not do so enough. :rolleyes) It's just that it makes no sense to me that the gang would be so ambivalent about so suddenly entrusting themselves to her guardianship and leaving Glide entirely. While they may not have all completely trusted Glide, they had been in the same proverbial boat with him for some time (having been imprisoned, escaped, been sucked down a whirlpool, and traveled quite a ways through unfamiliar territory). Then Aizon sends them to find another dinosaur (Siak) who he claims will help them (and given her inherent distrust of wingtails, should Cera really be that comfortable with the idea?), who turns out to be a variety of dinosaur which most of the gang has a deep and inborn fear of (even if she does talk, and looks and acts like no other sharptooth they've ever seen), and of whom most of them are indeed frightened of at first. In the span of a few minutes, however, their fear and distrust of this character apparently vanishes with neither a trace nor subsequent reference. Then Glide, who has been their best protection since escaping from the wingtail prison, departs, leaving them all in the care of this stranger, who then takes them to meet a group of strange and potentially dangerous dinosaurs. And yet not even Cera gives so much as a single thought to this sudden change in guardianship, or shows any obvious reaction to it. The fact that she was contemplating all of her other present traveling companions makes this omission of attention even more obvious, and seem even more unusual.

Honestly, I'm okay that Siak doesn't have a major role in the story. I am plenty content with the extent of her involvement so far, and do not care if her role never becomes any more significant. Furthermore, I've said it multiple times before, and I'll say it again: I really like your portrayal of her as a character. I'm not asking you to mention Siak in every other paragraph, or elevate her character status to “the newest member of the gang”, but you could really stand to use a bit more descriptiveness sometimes, both to make the story more logical and for the readers' benefit. And I reiterate: this is not because I want Siak to have more attention; if she were not my character, I would still be saying this. [/QUOTE]
 Remember too that just because Siak wasn't featured as much as you expected her to be in this chapter, it's a fairly safe bet that she plays a much bigger role in 'Ruby in the Jungle'.  Sometimes getting an orange now with the possibility of a lemon later is just as good as getting a lemon now. :angel

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Pangaea

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That possibility is another reason I would very much like to see you write that story. :p

By the way, just for future reference (or, if you feel that you didn’t do this, just for reference :angel), please don’t assume that whenever I make a comment about Siak (or any other character of mine that you might use in one of your stories), I am complaining (to use a strong word) that the character is not getting enough attention, or otherwise expressing disappointment about your portrayal of “my” character. I try my best to keep my critique objective, and to not show bias based on how much I like a character or my level of involvement in creating an OC. For example, if I were to comment “that seems out of character for that individual”, I would be basing that statement on how you had portrayed that character so far in the story (and, if it was a canon character, how he/she had been portrayed in the LBT series). In this case, I was commenting on what I felt was a story error: “why aren’t the characters doing this/reacting this way in that situation?” (If the wingtails and jungle runners had shown no indication of their longtime animosity after their initial reactions to seeing each other, I would have commented similarly on that.) And again, I didn't feel that Siak was underused in this chapter; just that there was something missing from Cera's private contemplation of all of her traveling companions, which was an especially glaring omission given the potential significance of this particular individual that you would expect there to be from her perspective. That is all. I hope that clears things up. ;)



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Caustizer

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Horray for an update!  Everyone loves updates right? :angel

I have only a page of writing for Part XI: The Greatest Cause done, but it's a start. It will be long, just like the previous part, and will likely be completed by a single burst of inspiration as opposed to a collection of sectons,

I hate to give previews, but you can look forward to antagonistic notions evolving between both Eybron and Sky... after all, over the course of the story they haven't even met yet!

Lately I haven't been inspired too much to complete the chapter though, with so litte activity on both the GOF and deviantart I feel like I'm the only one who really cares about having a fan-fic with regular updates.  I put in a request with Sky for a family portrait of Cloud, Sky, Star and Glide in one picture but everyone is so busy, it's like nobody has any time to spend on this anymore.

Not saying I require anything from anybody on the site... but the lack of enthusiasm is really discouraging though.

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Pangaea

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I'm sorry. I promise you that I'm still very much enthused about Far Away Home. I agree that the entire GOF seems too quiet these days. My guess is that Sky is too busy with school to have much time for the GOF (which is a real shame; I miss his artwork, particularly his wingtail comic. :( I've also been hoping to get some more critique from him on my own artwork). I don't really have any excuse; I've just been lazy, forgetful, and uninspired lately. :rolleyes

If I had more skill and creativity as an artist, I would try to make some FAH fanart myself, but as it is I can't offer much. :oops Still, if you can come up with something that wouldn't be overly complex (my ability to draw backgrounds, for instance, is quite limited), I could make an attempt at some artistic contribution.

I don't remember if I've noticed before, but you're right: not only has Tyron not yet appeared in the story, but neither Sky nor any of the other major characters save Star, Ruby, Chomper, and Glide have encountered Eybron yet. :! Though I believe I've shared some variation of this compliment many times before, it's amazing how well you feature your villains as a serious and omnipresent threat despite their limited contact with the other characters.

Thanks for the update, and if it helps, keep in mind that you have at least one reader who has not and will not lose any interest or enthusiasm for your story. ;) (Hopefully other readers will verify that they share these sentiments.)



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Quote from: Caustizer,Oct 20 2010 on  10:45 PM
Horray for an update!  Everyone loves updates right? :angel

I have only a page of writing forPart XI: The Greatest Cause done, but it's a start. It will be long, just like the previous part, and will likely be completed by a single burst of inspiration as opposed to a collection of sectons,

I hate to give previews, but you can look forward to antagonistic notations evolving between both Eybron and Sky... after all, over the course of the story they haven't even met yet!

Lately I haven't been inspired too much to complete the chapter though, with so litte activity on both the GOF and deviantart I feel like I'm the only one who really cares about having a fan-fic with regular updates.  I put in a request with Sky for a family portrait of Cloud, Sky, Star and Glide in one picture but everyone is so busy, it's like nobody has any time to spend on this anymore.

Not saying I require anything from anybody on the site... but the lack of enthusiasm is really discouraging though.

Caustizer.
I personally like where your story is going. I too feel the same way when I writing my fan-fic, but I just keep going and not think about that so much. I do have to agree that most of the GOF is busy though.

I'm really not busy like everyone else as I;m updating chapters for my fan-fic though I did stop posting updates here though. I also can't draw that well either, but it's like I said in the first sentence I'm very much into this fan-fic you are writing.



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Sorry for not being online so often...  :(

I do have a finished sketch with Sky and Cloud but the result isn't that good (I first thought you wanted only Cloud in a single pic :confused)...
Anyway, I have one week vacation so I hope to upload many new artworks at that time to keep you motivated. :^.^:


Caustizer

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Can you send the result to me in a PM? Maybe I can offer some pointers as to what things you can change/make better like I did with Eybron?


Caustizer

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The next chapter is 3000 words now and it's only about half done. These last two are such a doozie, i probably should have planned out Act 4 a bit better in regards to length.  Still at least there is a lot of content when I do get it done.

Would you all rather I post the first half now like I did with the last chapter, or wait and finish the whole thing before posting? Odds are it will be from 5000 to 6000 words when it's done.

Caustizer


Pangaea

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I've said in the past that I prefer to wait and read chapters in full rather than in increments, so my initial reaction was “I can wait!”. However, it then occurred to me that this will be the last chapter before the big FAH marathon that will conclude the story. As I've also mentioned before, I love to see the climax of a story (and the escalating anticipation that precedes it), but I hate to see it end. So then I started thinking that I might like it better if you posted the first half of the chapter now, and the other later, as it would prolong the story somewhat. Then again, I also love reading really long chapters, so maybe I'd rather wait for the whole chapter after all. BUT, the Far Away Home marathon will itself be like one really long chapter, since the last few chapters in the story will be posted in rapid succession. I already have assurance that my hunger for super-long chapters will be satiated eventually, so I might as well settle for two short sub-chapters sooner…

Is it not obvious yet that indecisiveness is a major problem for me? :wacko

At this point, I guess I'm leaning towards the option of “half-chapter now, half-chapter later”. But I can probably bend either way based on the other readers' preferences.



Pronounced "pan-JEE-uh". Spelled with three A's. Represented by a Lystrosaurus.