The Gang of Five
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The Land Before Time: Far Away Home

Caustizer · 415 · 77116

Caustizer

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Just coming in with another update.  Yesterday I spent a couple of hours working on the next part, and I think I have it about half done now.  Inspiration is kinda low at the moment... mainly because there is so much ground to cover before I can properly end the story.

It's looking to be around 4000-5000 words at the moment, plus whatever changes I make through editing.  Lots of wingtails, maybe a bit of longnecks.  :smile

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Wait... do you mean the whole chapter will be about 4000-5000 words or you have 4000-5000 words half finished?  :blink:

Either way, I can't wait to read more of it!  :smile


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Part VII: The Lush Valley


The horizon was covered with a gritty haze as the great circle made its way back up the sky for another new day.  The Abyss Lake was slightly disturbed by the tufts of wind that picked up at random intervals, bringing into the land an unpleasant chill.  The red clouds of the morning were spread out ponderously, if not to intrude on each others space, and all around not even one of the lesser flyers that inhabited the Feral Forest had begun to sing.  It was quiet and it was tranquil, and the scene suited Cinceel just fine.

The greyish female wingtail – so recently appointed the leader of the council of elders – sat and brooded silently, glaring at the crimson half-sun like it was just another enemy rising up to meet her.  Although the decision to grant Eybron was unpopular amongst the other elders she had done it for a good reason.  With such a powerful foe now prowling the shadows it was necessary to have a strong figurehead the other wingtails could rally behind.  As much as she had disliked him Tenebron had been an excellent leader, and the same qualities were now visible in his only son… but that didn’t mean there were no questions to be answered either.  It was to be seen whether the white wingtail would rise to the occasion or take advantage of his position to dispense more indiscriminate justice.  Either way though, Cinceel was absolutely sure of one thing – Eybron would channel his anger and hate into destroying Sharpteeth, one way or another.

“My lady,” breathed the royal guard urgently as he suddenly burst through the leaves and onto one of the branches in Cinceel’s family tree.

The green wingtail’s usual passive demeanour had been broken, and that in itself was cause for alarm.

“What is it?” replied Cinceel with annoyance.

“Eybron…” managed the guard between breaths, “…took half the males…in the night… left the forest…”

“What!?!” shouted the elder in shock, causing the feathers on the back of her neck to stand up.

“He intruded upon the Tree of Relics,” continued the guard after a few moments of composing himself, “their master is dead… and the Cordian has been stolen.”

Cinceel couldn’t believe this.  The Tree of Relics was where all the various works of the Creators were kept, some many generations old.  Wingtails were by nature gatherers and keepers of shiny or precious objects, and the fact that they had an entire tree devoted to the best of them was a point of pride for their race.  Why would Eybron – of the highest standing – perform such an act of murder and thievery?

“So he has abandoned us…” Cinceel stated direly.

“It would appear so my lady.”

The greyish wingtail brought a hand up to her head, and rubbed it.  This was absolutely terrible… once the rest of the forest heard about this she would be in deep trouble.  As if the wingtails weren’t divided enough on the issue of war with the sharpteeth, now there was a good chance she would lose her position on the council.

“There is something else,” continued the guard, “from what the witnesses saw, he had the Occular with him as well.”

The greyish wingtail turned to him in surprise.

“That is impossible,” she shouted, “Sky has it in his possession… he is the thief we have been hunting down!”

“Perhaps,” replied the guard sadly, “…you were mistaken.”

Cinceel sighed in admission, and waved the guard away.

“Wake the rest of the elders,” she said with a tinge of weariness, “let them know of this… betrayal.”

The guard hesitated instead of speeding to obey, a move that caught the elder wingtail’s attention.

“You have something else for me?” she questioned.

“There is a wingtail outside that wishes to speak with you… he says it is important.”

“Very well,” replied Cinceel uncaringly, “send him in.”

There was a soft sound of parting leaves behind her, and a swift click as feet dug into the outer bark of the branch.

“There is no need for that… I happen to be already here.”

The grey elder turned around sharply, coming face to face with a familiar navy blue wingtail.

“Aizon,” she stated with mild surprise.

“Grand Creator, master of sound, sight, and glass at your service,” Aizon said with a bow, tilting his head in respect.

“So,” began Cinceel distastefully, “here to rub the decision about Eybron in my face? Maybe trying to convince me I would have been better off taking you instead? You certainly are punctual about your distain.”

“Actually, I desire no such thing Lady Cinceel,” corrected Aizon as he absently cleaned off his glasses on one of his wings.

“Then why is it that you seclude yourself away from wingtail society, only to arrive when I have better things to do then waste my time talking to you?” the elder prodded as she crossed her arms.

Aizon cleared his throat, ignoring the insult.

“I come because I have a solution to your current predicament… a collection of realistic and fortitudous actions that would greatly benefit your position amongst your peers and would later elevate you in the eyes of the historical keepers… such as myself.”

Cinceel took a few moments to figure out exactly what the Grand Creator had said, before narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

“What is this ësolution’ you speak of?” she asked.

“Great things will begin to happen soon Lady Cinceel,” continued Aizon ignoring her question, “I do not know whether they will be advantageous or dire but I can express that you and the rest of the elders must be there to see them through.”

Aizon replaced the corrective lenses on his eyes, blinking twice to adjust his eyes to the new clarity of vision.

“… For all of us.”


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Unlike the massive cliffs that beheld Verdant Valley now many kilometres behind them, the Lush Valley was more subtle.  It started as sporadic collections of vegetation and trees, which gradually thickened until it covered the earth like an immense blanket of green food just waiting to be eaten.  It became obvious that they had arrived not when the plants grew thicker, but when seemingly out of nowhere the inhabitants began to appear.  Flyers flew above, talking and laughing as they went about their daily business, while longnecks, spiketails, threehorns, and all manner of dinosaurs they were used to seeing back home went about their daily business regardless of the newcomers in their midst.

It was clear to Littlefoot that this place was used to farwalkers, as none of these inhabitants paid them the slightest bit of heed.  Swirling around in the air above Sky had to dodge a few reckless youngsters who were involved in a game similar to tag.  They simply apologised to him and carried on.

Eventually, the group stopped in a small unoccupied grouping of trees on the edge of a watering hole.  As Littlefoot, Ali, Spike, Ducky, and Petrie all drank their fill from the comforting pool Sky picked a convenient roost overhead and furrowed his wings before addressing the young dinosaurs.

“We have come a long way my friends,” he stated proudly, “but far longer then I would have anticipated or liked.”

Littlefoot noticed that the blue wingtail did not use the term ëchildren’ for them anymore.  Indeed, they had grown quite a bit since the start of the journey and changes in their appearance had begun to become known.  Ducky for instance, had gained on Spike quite a bit in size and no longer rode on his back anymore.  Spike too, had vertical sails beginning to sprout from his back and upper tail, though he didn’t seem to notice.  Both him and Ali too had gotten bigger, and now had almost a foot in height over Sky.  At the start of the journey, the wingtail had been taller then both of them.

“But we’re still behind you all the way,” remarked Ali with certainty.

Littlefoot and Petrie nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

“You are a good way knower…you are,” added Ducky with a smile.

Sky smiled warmly at the praise, and glanced over their heads to make a quick sweep of the valley with his eyes.

“Remember that you must stick together. I have not met with the leader of this herd, so we have no idea how welcome we are.  It is possible that we may not be well received.”

Although all the young dinosaurs agreed with the assessment, it wasn’t really necessary to say.  The group of them had become so dependant on one another that it was second nature to keep each other’s company for both safety and for trust.  The world this far from the Great Valley had not proven to be such a nice place, so it made sense.

“Hey Sky,” mentioned Littlefoot as the wingtail made ready to depart, “…there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

The longneck looked a bit guilty, like there was something on his mind he wanted to get out.

“What is it?” asked the blue wingtail with concern.

“Well…” began Littlefoot, scraping the ground with one of his feet, “I’d just like to apologize for what happened back there on the fire grounds.  It wasn’t right for me to be angry at you when it wasn’t your fault… and I–”

Sky silenced the longneck by tapping an extended finger on his lips.

“Let us not speak of it anymore,” the wingtail answered, “forgive…and forget.”

“Yeah,” added Littlefoot, “forgive and forget.”



A minute or so after the conversation, the wingtail was gone.

It had occurred to Littlefoot that going to the leader of every herd and valley they visited wasn’t exactly needed, but the more he thought about it the more he realized what Sky was up to… the blue wingtail was making friends everywhere they stopped.  It made sense, since it seemed like the whole world was against them at this point.  A massive group of Sharpteeth was following them taking over vallies as they saw fit, pushing around Sky like they were toying with trapped prey and wingtail assassins seemed to be coming after them at every turn.  With a slight stab of sadness, the longneck remembered how his father had protected Sky when the other wingtails had came calling.

A small nudge from Ali informed him that he was getting behind, as Ducky, Petrie and Spike were already pretty far ahead.

“Come on,” she said excitedly, “we have a whole valley to explore.”

“Yeah,” replied Littlefoot half-heartedly as he looked around behind him in the way that Sky had gone.

Ali noticed.

“Don’t worry,” the female longneck said positively, “he won’t run away on us this time… not after all we have been through together.”

“It’s not that Ali,” sighed Littlefoot, “it’s just that this place reminds me of the Forgotten Forest… and my dad.”

The two longnecks walked along the edges of the large watering hole, which was so big that it was at least twice the size of anything in the Great Valley.  Across the surface a group of young longnecks barely out of their eggs splashed loudly as they played under the close eye of their grazing parents nearby.

“I never really knew my dad,” commented Ali unusually.

“Really?” asked Littlefoot with a pang of eagerness, “what happened to him?”

“He and my mom didn’t get along very well,” answered Ali sadly, “right after I hatched he left and found a mate in a different herd.”

“Oh.”

“So you don’t need to be so sad about it,” the female longneck continued, “you were pretty lucky that you had so much time with your dad.”

“But it wasn’t nearly long enough,” mumbled Littlefoot in a bit of a whisper.

Ali smiled weakly, trying to think of a way to bring out the best of the situation.

“If it helps… maybe you could help me find something for Sky for his Star Day?”

Littlefoot gasped.  He had totally forgotten about that.  In the weighty events that had occurred since they first made the promise, the whole matter had been unfairly swept aside.  If anything, it was a great opportunity to make things up with Sky for how he acted.

“Okay… that sounds like fun,” agreed the longneck as he nodded.

Ali pandered down to the shoreline and begun turning up rocks, pushing them aside as if she was looking for something.  Littlefoot joined in, not sure what she was doing but wanting to be apart of it.

“So, what are we looking for Ali?” he questioned.

“Shiny things,” answered Ali, before adding with a bit of uncertainty, “wingtails like them right?”

Littlefoot rolled his eyes, making sure she had her back to him so she wouldn’t see it.

“I think it needs to be something a little more then that… Sky could just come down and look for them on his own.”

“Well then if you’re so smart, what could we get him?” replied Ali with a tinge of annoyance.

Littlefoot thought about it for a moment, looking all across the lake-like watering hole as he did.  The group of longnecks on the other side seemed to have had their fill, and were leaving to head back into the grassland beyond.  His eyes settled on a pair of hatchlings that splashed playfully in the shallows.  Funny, it wasn’t long ago that he would have jumped in there with them and played too.  One of the mothers was heading towards the two babies, saying something that sounded like scolding.  There was something familiar about her…

“I think we can get him a… Dara!”

“Dara?” questioned Ali in confusion, “what’s that?”

“No not that Ali,” corrected Littlefoot, “I just remembered where I knew that longneck over there from… it’s Dara.”

Ali looked over at the longneck mother with an expression of mild surprise.

“Who’s she?”

“Come on,” insisted Littlefoot as he beckoned with his head, “…let’s go meet her.”

He promptly took off down the shoreline, leaving Ali to catch up.

“Wait for me!” she shouted, and after a moment shaking the mud off her feet she followed her friend down the grassy banks.





“Careful down there little lady,” insisted Dara as she kept an eye on her young daughter playing in the water, “Don’t go wanderin too far off in the water beyond where I can see ya.”

The hatchling barely paid her mother any attention, as she was enjoying playing with the other longneck too much.  He splashed her as she tried to turn back to answer her mom, so she had to return the favour.  Seeing this, Dara stepped in between the children and the water as a precaution.  One couldn’t be too careful with their only child.

“Hey Dara,” called out Littlefoot as he got closer, “…Dara!”

The female longneck turned and squinted as he came into view.

“Well I’ll be,” Dara said, “if it isn’t little Littlefoot.  My you were such a youngin when I saw you last.”

Littlefoot beamed at the recognition, while Ali still looked a little bit awkward about the whole situation.  She still had no idea who this was.

“Ah kids these days,” continued Dara, “they go growing up so fast… it’s great to see ya Littlefoot.”

“You too Dara,” replied Littlefoot.

“I know it’s been a while since Doc and I were passing through the Great Valley and all… but we gotta little side tracked.”

Littlefoot reasoned that it must have been the hatchling that was holding them up.

“Yeah,” answered the young longneck before turning to Ali, “Dara is our friend from a long time ago.  We saved her from the sinking sand.”

“Oh how cute,” interrupted Dara with a smile as she lowered her head down to their level, “you went and found yourself a lady friend too.”

Littlefoot couldn’t stop himself from blushing, and he turned away so Ali wouldn’t see it. She did anyway, and didn’t look the slightest bit uncomfortable.

“Nice to meet you Dara,” said Ali sincerely.

“You too little lady.”

“Hey Dara, is Doc around?” asked Littlefoot in a bid to change the subject, “We haven’t seen him in a while.

Dara spared a quick glance to make sure her daughter was still okay, and then peered out towards the nearby forest.

“Last I saw he was over there getting some shut eye,” stated Dara, before adding, “probably good on him for ya to wake him up too.”

“Okay,” nodded Littlefoot with a smile, “see ya later.”

In a moment the longneck was already on his way towards the forest with good speed.

“Bye,” Ali added quickly as she followed.

“Take care of yourselves,” called Dara with caring as they moved out of earshot.

The fact that Doc and Dara were here… especially Doc… suddenly awoke a sense of duty in Littlefoot that hadn’t been there for a long time.  If there was one other longneck adult that he knew could set things right apart from his Grandparents and his dad, it was Doc.  After all… he was the Lone Dinosaur! Once he found out what Tyron and his sharpteeth kin were doing he would sort them out faster then a whip of the tail.  Littlefoot was sure of it, and the thought carried him into the Lush Valley’s sweet smelling forest as Ali trailed behind.


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Star hadn’t bothered to try and sleep.  She knew what was coming, even before Eybron entered their family tree unannounced to spirit her away.  She knew the white wingtail too well… he was prompt and brutal with all of his actions.  With all the power he had now, she had expected him to keep her close by all means.  The carefully planned menace of the whole affair was what scared her more then anything else.  Eybron would get what he wanted, and if it meant killing to get it then so be it.

“Ah,” remarked Eybron with a grin she could only partially see in the moonlight, “all ready to go I see?  You are learning.”

“I have nothing to learn from you Eybron,” Star stated venomously, “but how to deceive and murder and wing others in the back!”

“Still angry about my little visit to your class are we?  Well I do admit I might have been a little bit…”

The wingtail twirled his finger around a flailing leaf, before crushing it in his palm.

“…out of line.”

An apology.  Was this his new technique for trying to get in her head?  Trying to make her believe that now the world was practically in his hands, he was a nice wingtail?  Unlikely.

The white wingtail extended his hand gently and methodically, something that didn’t suit him well.

“I think it’s time we put this whole affair behind us Star.  We are grown adults, unfit for these childish little games.”

Eybron stopped for a moment to gauge her expression, which only changed slightly away from the defiant snub she wore whenever they talked. She continued to look at his hand, like it was dripping with poison.

“I’ll tell you what,” he continued, “…entertain me.  Treat me with some respect and perhaps I will ignore your staining, hurtful remarks in the name of a new start.”

“Why should I?” asked Star with distrust.

“Because if you do, I can ignore your uncle’s naked aggression against me and even the resentful acts of your brother.  I’m sure it’s in your best interest to ensure that your family members remain… happy and healthy.”

It was a veiled threat – something Star was pretty used to by now.  Still, the more she thought about it the better the deal sounded.  She could fake cooperation and compliance so that Fliela and Sturgeon aren’t bothered, and Glide – wherever he is – could remain off Eybron’s list of enemies.  Not only that but even if she refused, it would only make this whole affair worse since she was going to be dragged along with him anyway.

“Alright,” agreed Star, and she clasped his hand, “Maybe there is some good in you.”

The white wingtail smiled slightly, almost invisibly as she touched his hand.

“Good.”

On that note he turned around and spread his wings, causing the two wingtail guards next to him to do the same.  They fell in behind Star like watchers ensuring her obedience to their lord.  Eybron called over his shoulder at her.

“Follow.”

“Wait just a minute,” interrupted Star.

Eybron turned to look at her with an expression of annoyance.

“If we are going to make this work Eybron, then I have a demand of you as well.”

The white wingtail thought about it for a moment, before gesturing her to continue.

“I think I deserve a bit of respect and dignity here… specifically not to have your ëfriends’ push me around like I’m your prisoner.  I want some freedom and trust.”

Eybron looked mildly surprised, like he had expected her to come silently. After a moment he dawned an expression that might be compared to a proud parent watching their hatchling fly for the first time.

“As you wish my dear.  Edwin, I want you to accompany her and ensure her safety and her cooperation… but Star is to be allowed to go where she wishes while in my prescience.”

The green wingtail bowed slightly.

“Yes Lord Eybron.”

The white wingtail turned back to Star.

“If that is all… you will follow.”

On Eybron’s wishes, the group of four wingtails departed.  Before the night is over, the white wingtail would commit acts that Star would never think a wingtail could do to another.  He tore apart families as he gathered his private army of sorts.  He stole from the Tree of Relics and killed the Master when he screeched for help.  Within two hours, they had vacated the Feral Forest leaving a trail of suffering in their wake.  For Star, she vowed that one way or another, Eybron would pay for all the things that he had done.  Some day, and some place… she would make her move.  For now however, there was nothing she could do but watch, wait, and cry silently for those who couldn’t cry anymore.


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Pangaea

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Glahhh…I’ve been Mr. Procrastination lately. :bang Sorry about the wait. :oops

Wow, this chapter felt short (Of course, I think that about pretty much ALL of the chapters :P:); how does the number of words in this chapter compare with the average Far Away Home chapter?

I enjoyed the opening to this chapter. You’ve got a real flair for describing the environmental setting for a scene in a colorful and interesting way. I also liked your introduction to the Lush Valley, emphasizing the differences between it and the Verdant Valley.

Well, looks like Cinceel ended up regretting her decision about Eybron even sooner than I expected. :rolleyes Good to see Aizon’s helping, at least, though if the plans he’s going to suggest to Cinceel are in any way related to the ones he shared with Ruby, I’m guessing that he’ll have his work cut out for him in convincing the other wingtails to agree to them.

Feels like a long time since we last saw Littlefoot, Sky, Ali, Spike, Petrie, and Ducky. Whoa! In a way, it has been! The last chapter with them in it was posted on July 5th! :blink: I must say I’ve missed them.

About how much time has passed since the beginning of the story? (Don’t answer if that would spoil anything; you know how I hate spoilers…)

Your scenes of Ali and Littlefoot conversing never cease to entertain me (even though I still wish the others would get more attention :p). I like how you filled in a little of Ali’s background history in that bit about her father.

Hey, I just noticed that you didn’t describe how Petrie had changed since the beginning of the journey! :blink:

Wow, I forgot about Sky’s star day, too. Looks like it’s going to be a very late celebration. What DO you give a wingtail for a birthday present, if not something shiny? :confused

Dara and Doc are two characters I wasn’t expecting to see in this story. :! So they ended up having kids? Uh-oh, sounds like the supposed “Lone Dinosaur” has settled down! :p Somehow I have the feeling that Littlefoot’s going to be disappointed in one way or another when he asks Doc for help. :unsure:

I caught relatively few spelling errors this time around:

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The red clouds of the morning were spread out ponderously, * if not to intrude on each others space, and all around not even one of the lesser flyers that inhabited the Feral Forest had begun to sing.
*Insert “as”.

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“I come because I have a solution to your current predicament… a collection of realistic and fortitudous actions that would greatly benefit your position amongst your peers and would later elevate you in the eyes of the historical keepers… such as myself.”
Should be “fortitudinous”. Good try, though. :yes

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“Great things will begin to happen soon* Lady Cinceel,” continued Aizon* ignoring her question, “I do not know whether they will be advantageous or dire but I can express that you and the rest of the elders must be there to see them through.”
*Comma.

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Ducky for instance, had gained on Spike quite a bit in size and no longer rode on his back anymore.
I’m pretty sure it’s redundant to use both of these words in the same sentence.

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Both him and Ali too had gotten bigger, and now had almost a foot in height over Sky.
Should be “he”. You might want to remove “both”, too, as i don’t think it is needed.

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A massive group of Sharpteeth was following them* taking over vallies as they saw fit, pushing around Sky like they were toying with trapped prey* and wingtail assassins seemed to be coming after them at every turn.
Should be “valleys”.
*Comma.

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“As you wish my dear. Edwin, I want you to accompany her and ensure her safety and her cooperation… but Star is to be allowed to go where she wishes while in my prescience.”
Did you mean to say “presence”? “Prescience” means foresight, or knowledge of things before they exist or happen.

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On Eybron’s wishes, the group of four wingtails departed. Before the night is over, the white wingtail would commit acts that Star would never think a wingtail could do to another.
”Is” should be “was”, and “would never think” should be “had never thought”.

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Within two hours, they had vacated the Feral Forest* leaving a trail of suffering in their wake. For Star, she vowed that one way or another, Eybron would pay for all the things that he had done. Some day, and some place… she would make her move. For now* however, there was nothing she could do but watch, wait, and cry silently for those who couldn’t cry anymore.
The highlighted text should simply be “Star”.
*Comma.

Sky, CT, Serris…any of you going to comment on the chapter?



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Sky

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Sky, CT, Serris…any of you going to comment on the chapter?
I sure will!  :smile

~~~

Ahh... a new chapter. ^^
I always feel happy and excited when you post new chapters to read!  :lol:

Phew... the gang sure grows pretty fast.  :o And now, I'm getting really curious what Littlefoot has on his mind for Sky's present.  :) I also liked the little story of Ali's father. It's quite sad though...  :cry Dara and Doc was quite a surprise to see them in this story! And they have kids too! *excited* ...Hmm, which reminds me... what happend to the 'storytelling' part you sometimes read at the beginning? You know when Sky, Ruby, Glide were the storyteller? Don't tell if this spoils anything.  :p

Like always it was a great chapter to read and I'm looking forward to read the next chapter.  :lol:


Pangaea

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Whoa, I just realized that last Wednesday marked the one-year anniversary of this story. :o :blink: :wow Happy belated star day, Far Away Home! :birthday



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Caustizer

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About how much time has passed since the beginning of the story?

It has been about 3-4 months since the beginning of the story to where we are now.  Naturally there were days and moments that were skipped because they weren't relevant to the story.

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What DO you give a wingtail for a birthday present, if not something shiny?

I guess you will just have to wait to find out :angel

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Now, the last part, if I understand correctly,



I caught relatively few spelling errors this time around:

I think you may have missed a line of text here Pangaea about the last part. :)

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what happend to the 'storytelling' part you sometimes read at the beginning? You know when Sky, Ruby, Glide were the storyteller? Don't tell if this spoils anything.

The storytelling part only is supposed to happen at the beginning of each act.  While occassional surprise interruptions may occur, I don't like to emphasize on them too much mainly because they give things away about the ending before it happens.  For instance, you all know now that Sky and Star had offspring that survived the story because of that future scene.  The next future scene will be after the end of the story.

Caustizer.





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Quote from: Caustizer,Aug 27 2010 on  09:43 AM
It has been about 3-4 months since the beginning of the story to where we are now.  Naturally there were days and moments that were skipped because they weren't relevant to the story.
Wow. :o Less time than I expected.

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I think you may have missed a line of text here Pangaea about the last part. :)
Ah. :slap You're right. :oops Did I also mention that I've been Mr. Absentminded-Writer lately? :p

That text was the intended beginning of a question I was going to ask about how the first and last parts of this chapter (the ones focused on wingtails) related to one another timeline-wise. Most or all of the last part apparently takes place before the first part, and I was wondering if this was a mistake. Then I figured that the chapter was probably laid out this way because it was better for telling the story (Learning what Eybron did in the night comes as a more of a shock from Cinceel's point of view than as a short overview of the events). I therefore decided to skip the comment, but forgot to remove the beginning of the paragraph (which I have now done).

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The storytelling part only is supposed to happen at the beginning of each act.  While occassional surprise interruptions may occur, I don't like to emphasize on them too much mainly because they give things away about the ending before it happens.  For instance, you all know now that Sky and Star had offspring that survived the story because of that future scene.  The next future scene will be after the end of the story.
Aw, that's a shame. I've been kinda missing the storytelling scenes, too. :p Oh well.



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Caustizer

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Bad News.

The computer that had all my writing on it has suffered a critical hard drive failure, and the technician had to wipe it to get it to work again.  On that laptop was all the volumes of Far Away Home, Rise of Storm Tide, and even the seldom mentioned one where Ruby kills everybody.

The half finished part i was working on is also gone, so i will have to start again.  Wish me luck, though unfortunately I wouldn't count on it being posted anytime soon :(

Caustizer


Adder

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Quote from: Caustizer,Sep 11 2010 on  07:06 PM
Bad News.

The computer that had all my writing on it has suffered a critical hard drive failure, and the technician had to wipe it to get it to work again.  On that laptop was all the volumes of Far Away Home, Rise of Storm Tide, and even the seldom mentioned one where Ruby kills everybody.

The half finished part i was working on is also gone, so i will have to start again.  Wish me luck, though unfortunately I wouldn't count on it being posted anytime soon :(

Caustizer
That's my worst fear of my computer ever having to be gutted. That already happened once, but somehow the same people were able to retrieve everything. So I'm planning ahead this time, but uploading all the pics I want to keep to a dead wikia site or deviantart and printing off a sheet with all my passowords, user names and email for sites. The email adress atleast, so I can get my passwords back.


Littlefoot1616

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Quote from: Caustizer,Sep 11 2010 on  07:06 PM
Bad News.

The computer that had all my writing on it has suffered a critical hard drive failure, and the technician had to wipe it to get it to work again.  On that laptop was all the volumes of Far Away Home, Rise of Storm Tide, and even the seldom mentioned one where Ruby kills everybody.

The half finished part i was working on is also gone, so i will have to start again.  Wish me luck, though unfortunately I wouldn't count on it being posted anytime soon :(

Caustizer
Awww man! That sucks. Sorry to hear that Caustizer. It is a major bugger when crap like that happens. At least you can be safe in the knowledge that what has been posted on the net (FF.net or wherever) is still retrieveable. As for your current works, hopefully they aren't too far back in your memory that you can't recreate them. Still it's a pain when you're forced to start over. Take your time with it, I'm sure we can all wait patiently for your next update!

Still, real sorry :(


Pangaea

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Oh no! I’m so sorry, Caustizer! :( (Blast it, can’t life give any of us a frickin’ break?! <_<)

If you wanted to prevent this happening in the future, maybe you could invest in an external hard drive; a device that you can set up so that your entire hard drive is periodically saved onto it. I have one that I keep almost permanently plugged into my computer, though seeing as you have a laptop, you probably couldn’t do that, since they’re not very durable and thus probably aren’t well suited to being carried around everywhere. (My first external hard drive accidentally suffered a two-foot fall while being simultaneously unplugged from my computer without being properly ejected; it wouldn’t work after that and I had to get a new one. :mad)

By the way, I do have all of our past PM conversations saved. Is there any information we had exchanged (characters, story ideas, etc.) that you’d like me to send you? If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.



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Sky

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Oh no!  :o  I'm really sorry to hear.  :cry
Your motivation to work on it further is probably gone too...  :(

I hate it when that happens.  :bang


Pangaea

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Quote from: Sky,Sep 12 2010 on  12:43 PM
Your motivation to work on it further is probably gone too... :(
Ow.

The mere thought that the story might not be completed is physically painful for me. :( :blink: :wacko

(That's not an exaggeration. I really did feel a jolt of pain in my chest when I read that. That happens to me sometimes when I read or hear awful news that shocks me.)



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Sky

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^I actually meant the chapter itself he was working on. But I do feel the same way as you.  :cry


Caustizer

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Normally this is against my policy, as I like to post complete chapters whenever possible. With the computer busting and all, and me losing a good half of my work on the latest chapter I think I'll give you loyal readers something to chew on until the whole thing is finished.

Here is the first third of the next chapter.  Note that this whole chapter is very long [~5000-6000 words] to include everything I need to include with Ruby's gang before the finale.

Without further ado,


Part VIII: An Uneasy Alliance (First Third)


The storm had arrived, and above the jungle canopy rain poured down from the heavens like the tears of some giant flyer in the sky, laced with the black ash that now filled the upper atmosphere.  The water dripped down through the leaves and pattered on the dense undergrowth all around, creating a cavernous roar that blocked out everything around him.   Chomper was running now, chasing the fast-biter through the ferns and assorted shrubbery like he was his saving grace.  It was a long shot, but Thudd might have found something important and since the sharptooth had decided not to eat him it was enough to prove the idea at least partially true.

Ever since that ridiculous game of walking on one foot with Gentry and Thylo, Chomper had discovered that running on the ends of feet was much more comfortable then remaining flat footed.  It felt strange and unfamiliar, but the increased agility and mobility more then made up for the new position.  Perhaps it was like his lost teeth, and just apart of growing up as a sharptooth… he didn’t know.  The truth was though, it was evidence he was growing up and he didn’t like it.  Being tall and strong would be nice, but he didn’t want to see the day where he turned on his friends.  Chomper just liked them too much, and he owed Littlefoot even more then that.

“Where are we going?” asked the sharptooth breathlessly as he pursued Thudd through the underbrush.

The fast-biter didn’t answer, and instead picked up the pace.  Silently cursing, Chomper ran faster to try and catch up.  Just as the sharptooth was starting to feel like he had to stop, they breached the jungle into a clearing.  It was not a natural one, but a forced crushing of the forest made by some large creature to cut a path to pass through.  Looking around, he could see that it was at least as large as his parents, if not bigger.  Whoever it was, he did not want to meet the being that did this.  

Thudd slowed, and then lowered his nose to the ground like a hound dog following a trail.  It was kind of funny, and Chomper couldn’t help but giggle as the ferocious fast-biter searched about for a scent the sharptooth knew nothing about.

“Be silent,” hissed Thudd, before continuing, “do you know who made these tracks?”

The fast-biter had been referring to a set of massive footprints that Chomper had mistaken for holes.  Eyeing them closely, he was at a loss.

“No… I…”

Then it hit him.  A mysterious new scent that was coming from the prints.  He picked it up in his nostrils, and immediately did the same as Thudd and lowered his nose to the ground to pick it up better.  The smell was not only familiar, but it was quite intimate like it was a core part of him.  Almost right away, Chomper recognized it.

“Hey, it’s-”

A shrill screech filled the air, so intense that it hurt his ears.  Thudd reacted too by growling and rearing his head to the sky, only to come face to face with an angry and rapidly descending black wingtail.

Glide had been following the group ever since his departure, unable to accept that he would be unwelcome with them amongst the runners.  Part of it was that he was obligated because of what his sister had asked of him, but the other part was that he simply enjoyed their company.  Whether he liked it or not the wingtail had found more purpose in keeping them safe then he ever had in the Feral Forest, and part of his personality demanded an intensive duty that he had to devote himself to at all times… be it ensuring the safety and well being of his sister, hunting down and punishing Sky, or watching over defenceless young ones.

The wingtail dove downwards, flipping out his feet at the last moment and making contact with Thudd.  The fast-biter wasn’t ready for the sudden attack, and was driven to the ground by the strike.  He thrashed out with his claws, catching one of Glide’s wings and ripping off a few feathers.  The wingtail barely noticed in his adrenaline filled rage, and went for the sharptooth’s throat in attempt to pin him.  It didn’t work, and Thudd capitalized on the opening with a vicious snap from his jaws.  The deadly teeth passed within a few inches of Glide’s face, before being deflected by a wide wing attack.  The two combatants separated, with the wingtail transitioning into a backwards hovering while the fast-biter got to his feet and crouched low, his teeth bared.  Thudd growled in defiance and anger at his opponent and Glide returned with a low, aggressive hiss.

Recovering from his shock at the sudden attack, Chomper tried to step in.

“Stop it, STOP IT!” he yelled while waving his arms.

It was no use, as both his friends hated each other to the bone and were sure to continue fighting until one of them was dead.  He felt small and useless as they came together again and started striking at one another.  Glide was bleeding in a few places on his nose and on his wing, and Thudd had cuts and bruises to sport too but despite these injuries both of them refused to give up.

A sudden roar sounded from deeper in the forest, followed almost immediately by a second.  The ground began to shake, and the thunderous stomping noises of a pair of fully grown sharpteeth filled the air.  The fight stopped promptly as Thudd took one sniff in the general direction of the coming sound and then split, getting away faster then Glide could catch him.  With a rustle of leaves the fast-biter disappeared into the bushes.  Satisfied at his victory, the black wingtail turned back towards his charge and landed next to him.  Time to turn his attention to the next biggest problem on hand.

“Get moving Chomper,” he grumbled urgently, using his real name for once, “something big and mean is coming our way and I can’t protect you from this one.”

Chomper turned towards him, and was smiling.  The expression was confusing to Glide, who had assumed he was simply paralyzed with fright.

“I think I’ll stay here,” answered the sharptooth.

“What are you doing?” fumed Glide angrily, “do you want to die? Whatever it is it’ll eat us for sure.”

The wingtail was about a second away from grabbing up the young sharptooth and ferrying him away when Chomper ran, going towards the source of the sound.

“Mommy! Daddy! I’m right here!”

Glide couldn’t help but think he had totally lost it… there’s no way his parents could possibly be that big.  Granted he had never seen an adult sharptooth before, but it’s not like they-.

Chomper’s massive parents burst through the trees, blood and murder in their eyes as it always was when they were hunting.  His mom was the first to notice the familiar smell… the scent of her son!  Chomper was speaking in sharptooth now, a chain of rasps and calls that the wingtail couldn’t understand.  As the shadows of both sharpteeth settled over Chomper and Glide, the black wingtail just stood there with his mouth slightly open, unable to move.

Chomper was overjoyed at having finally found his folks, and after a half a minute of exchange his mother leaned over and nuzzled her son affectionately followed by his father.

“I am glad to finally see you again my son,” remarked his mother lovingly, “even this far from our rightful home.”

“Indeed,” snarled his father, “tell me why you are so far away from where we left you near the leaf-eater valley.  There was plenty of food there and with those runners to find them for you it was easy meat.  Where is the runner child we told to guard you?”

“It’s a long story,” admitted Chomper with a hint of regret.  He forgot about how his parents saw things, and how they certainly didn’t approve of his friendship with Littlefoot and the others even though they saved his life on the island.

“But Glide’s guarding me now…and… he eats meat!  Just like us.”

The young sharptooth felt it necessary to add the last part, since he wanted to make sure his parents knew the black wingtail was his friend.  He was thankful Glide didn’t understand sharptooth to object to the ascertation.

Glide was actually too stunned to think about speaking, as both older sharpteeth were now staring right at him.  What did Chomper say to them about him?  He could only wonder, but his gut instincts told him it was going to be okay… after all they were his charge’s parents and he had done a pretty good job of keeping him safe thus far.  On the side, he wondered what this would mean for the rest of the children elseware in the jungle…



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Pangaea

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Sorry again for the reviewing delay. (I’ve got to start visiting the GOF earlier in the day. :rolleyes:)

I really liked how you described the storm in the first paragraph, especially the simile of the rain and the giant flyer. The only word choice that I thought was strange was “cavernous roar” for the sounds of the water on the vegetation.

I see that you’ve addressed the confusing matter of Chomper always walking flat-footed, while his parents and other adult sharpteeth walk on their toes. (Funny how Ducky’s kind is the same way, yet Ducky walks on her toes sometimes, but almost always stands flat-footed.)

Frankly, I was amazed to find out that Glide had never seen a full-grown sharptooth before. :blink: I expected that all adult wingtails would be familiar with sharpteeth, considering their ongoing feud with them. I guess large sharpteeth must not go near the wingtails' lands much. Was Glide's assigment to find Sky in Act I the first time he’d ever traveled far from home?

Darn, I was really curious to find out where Thud was taking Chomper! I guess I’ll just have to wait. I’m fine with that. :angel

My proofreading report:

Quote
Perhaps it was like his lost teeth, and just apart of growing up as a sharptooth… he didn’t know.
Should be two words.

Quote
Looking around, he could see that it was at least as large as his parents, if not bigger.
I thought this sentence was a little confusing, as it took me a while to realize that it was not describing the clearing, but the creature that made it. I’d suggest replacing “was” with “must have been”.

Quote
On the side, he wondered what this would mean for the rest of the children elseware in the jungle…
Should be “elsewhere”.



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Sky

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Oh my, the first third and it was still awesome to read!   :lol:
It's really great to see that Chomper is the 'main' character in this part. And yay for Chompers parents! :D

As always, I can't wait for the next part.  :lol:


Caustizer

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Just chiming in to let everyone know that I'm still working on this chapter, and it's pretty long too.  Hopefully I'll have the whole thing ready and edited by the end of the week.  Is it just me, or is this forum kind of dead these days?

Caustizer