The Gang of Five
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Land Before Time: Tyranna

Chomper98

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Prologue

Things had been going bad for months now. The once fertile land was a dusty wasteland, where plants rarely grew, and water scarce. This had caused dozens of herds to leave the area, and the few that remained only did to hatch their young.

For one mother, this was a particularly sad season. All but 1 of her eggs had been stolen by eggstealers, and she had lost her father, the last remaining member of her family aside from her mate, to a sharptooth just days earlier. "Telia, are you alright?" Came the voice of her mate, and leader of the herd, Dac.

"Yes." She replied. "I'm sorry about Leron, he..." Dac began. "I know, its just..." She started as tears left her eyes. "I know." Dac answered as he let his mate cry on his shoulder.

Suddenly, the herd members started screaming, and a loud roar was heard. "Sharpteeth! They're after the children!" Yelled one of the herd members. "Everyone, get behind me!" Dac ordered as he charged to face the sharpteeth.

"Dac! Let me..." Telia cried as she tried to follow him. "Go! The herd needs a leader, and your hatchling needs a mother! I'll deal with the sharpteeth!" Dac replied as he charged at two sharpteeth.

One was a dark green color, with two red eyes, and a lighter underbelly, while the other was smaller, with grey skin, yellow eyes, and a golden underbelly. The larger of the two was the dark one, and both were males. "Stay away from my herd!" Dac yelled as he slammed his powerful tale into the smalller one.

His comrade immediatley attacked, and caught Dac off guard, grabbing his leg and biting hard. "AAAAHH!" Dac cried as the sharptooth applied more pressure. Telia saw this as her time to act, and rammed her tail into the sharptooth. This time it hit directly in the head momentarily stunning the sharptooth.

Telia and Dac stood together, but the other sharptooth had gotten up, and closed in on Telia, while his brother stalked towards Dac. Suddenly, unseen by the two, two large females ran at the longnecks, knocking down Telia and stunning Dac.

Dac prepared to defend his mate when the larger male leapt into the air, and jumped on his back, beginning to rip into him, but Dac would have none of it, and swung his back into the air, throwing the sharptooth off, who landed on the ground and began to get up.

To avenge her mate, the smaller of the two females charged at him, but Dac reared on his hind legs, and crushed her. This earned a roar of anger and shock from the other sharpteeth, and the male who he threw off. In a vicious charge, he ran at him, and bit deep into his leg, on the upper thigh.

Suddenly, a boulder slammed into the last female, crushing her. This angered the males even more, and the grey one charged at Telia, who had used that to crush the last female. But the rest of the herd attacked in a united front driving off the sharpteeth, and one longneck hitting a small, but sharp rock at the grey sharptooth, slashing him in the face, and another, larger one slashing into his head. This knocked the sharptooth out cold.

The last male, who was trying to revive his dead mate turned his head to face the herd, which stood protectively between their leader and the sharptooth. The sharptooth growled viciously, but stalked off, now with a hatred of longnecks in its head.

Following this, Dac managed to get up, and Telia ran to him, nuzzling him ecstatically. "Are you alright?" She asked, fearing for her mate's safety. "Yes Telia, I'm fine, atleast the damned sharptooth left." Dac said.

Telia nodded. They would wait a few more days until the last egg hatched, but one night, a second egg mysteriously appeared in Telia's nest. No one had any idea where it came from, or how it got there, but Telia still decided to adopt whatever was in the egg, as a mother to be, she would not abandon another egg to its fate.

The hatching day came, and Telia's was the last to hatch. The first one, Telia's blood child, was a male, who she named Al, and inherited his father's Turquoise skin tone. The second was a shock. The second was a baby sharptooth, light green in color, with blue eyes, and a yellow underbelly.

"What is that?!" Dac exclaimed when he saw the second hatchling. "A sharptooth, its a threat to us and the children! Lets get rid of it!" Another longneck yelled. Telia was conflicted, she was wary about adopting a baby sharptooth, but something about it told her to.

"Wait! I'm...going to take care of it." Telia announced. This hushed the croud, who were in shock. Why would a longneck take care of something that might someday eat it? Was a killer? It was absurd! "Telia...Why?" Dac asked, shocked at his mate's decision.

"She, something about her just tells me to do it. We could take care of her, teach her to be friendly, to eat crawlers and silver swimmers." Telia answered, her motherly instincts toward the sharptooth increasing. "How do we know she'll still not betray us?" Dac asked, mistrust written on his face.

"Would you betray your mother?" Telia asked. Dac thought for a moment, he wouldn't but what if this sharptooth found out about her heritage, and embraced it? Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

"She's your responsibily." Dac said. "Dac I know she'll make a good daughter." Telia replied. "I said she could stay! That doesn't make her my daughter!" He said as he walked off. Telia sighed as the herd disbanded, and turned her attention to the two babies in her nest, who were trying to play with eachother.

"It's okay little one, he'll grow on you." Telia said as she nuzzled both her babies. When the baby female sharptooth licked her back, she felt as if it was her own daughter. "Tyranna. My little sharptooth." Telia thought.

End of prologue, tell me what you think, should I continue, or just abandon it?


Fyn16

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Very nice. What's the plan for the primary storyline? Again, I have some ideas. Perhaps a "quest" (futile as it may be) to find Tyranna's parents? During said quest, she and Al could really bond as brother and sister. Tyranna would have to find out the truth in the end, of course, but perhaps by that time, she could truly embrace her new family. Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, Tyranna could find out and end up pretty mad about it (and let's be honest, who could blame her?), creating a bit of friction that gets resolved eventually. Maybe Tyranna finds out early on and runs away from home, forcing Al to go find her and bring her back. Just some ideas...


Chomper98

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Quote from: Fyn16,Aug 14 2012 on  08:14 AM
Very nice. What's the plan for the primary storyline? Again, I have some ideas. Perhaps a "quest" (futile as it may be) to find Tyranna's parents? During said quest, she and Al could really bond as brother and sister. Tyranna would have to find out the truth in the end, of course, but perhaps by that time, she could truly embrace her new family. Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, Tyranna could find out and end up pretty mad about it (and let's be honest, who could blame her?), creating a bit of friction that gets resolved eventually. Maybe Tyranna finds out early on and runs away from home, forcing Al to go find her and bring her back. Just some ideas...
Its actually them migrating to a new home, and if anyone knows who the two male sharpteeth were in the beginning, you get cookies. :lol Back on topic, its a quest to find a new home, and they must migrate to a new home, a place like the valley(Doc said that there were others just as nice out there somewhere) so their going to one of those. They meet up with other kids on the way, so I'm creating my own basic gang of five.


Fyn16

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Quote from: Chomper98,Aug 14 2012 on  03:15 PM
Quote from: Fyn16,Aug 14 2012 on  08:14 AM
Very nice. What's the plan for the primary storyline? Again, I have some ideas. Perhaps a "quest" (futile as it may be) to find Tyranna's parents? During said quest, she and Al could really bond as brother and sister. Tyranna would have to find out the truth in the end, of course, but perhaps by that time, she could truly embrace her new family. Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, Tyranna could find out and end up pretty mad about it (and let's be honest, who could blame her?), creating a bit of friction that gets resolved eventually. Maybe Tyranna finds out early on and runs away from home, forcing Al to go find her and bring her back. Just some ideas...
Its actually them migrating to a new home, and if anyone knows who the two male sharpteeth were in the beginning, you get cookies. :lol Back on topic, its a quest to find a new home, and they must migrate to a new home, a place like the valley(Doc said that there were others just as nice out there somewhere) so their going to one of those. They meet up with other kids on the way, so I'm creating my own basic gang of five.
Okay, cool! Is this the collaborative work or is it your own story?

And by the way, my initial guess for the Sharpteeth would be Screech and Thud. Do I get cookies? :smile


Chomper98

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Chapter 1, Brother and Sister

"I got it! I got it!" Tyranna called as she caught the pinecone her adoptive brother chucked at her. Al, her brother ran at her to try and catch the pinecone, which she just dodged and ran to the makeshift goal area. "Hyahh!" Tyranna said as she kicked the pinecone into it, winning the game. "Yeah!" Tyranna cried in victory. "It was just a lucky shot." Al replied as he walked up to her.

"Oh no you don't! I won fair and square!" Tyranna answered.  Al sighed, most of the games they were playing these days ended in Tyranna's victory, which meant it was common for him to deny his defeat, though it was just his mountain sized ego that caused it.

"I'm hungry, lets go eat." Al said as he walked to the few leaves on the ground. "I'll have a buzzy flyer or fuzzy crawler." Tyranna said looking for one, and spotting a crawler not to far away, with it's tail curled up, and claws. Just as she was about to eat it, her mother called "no, Tyranna, don't eat that!"

Tyranna did as she was told as her mother walked up. "I'm sorry mom, I was just hungry." She told her. "Young lady, those are poisonous, and can give a very nasty sting." Telia replied. "I think there are some color-wings(butterflies) nearby." Telia added. "Thanks mom." Tyranna replied, as she began running off to them.

As she ran, she bumped into another herd member. "Sorry." Tyranna said as she got up. The longneck grumbled unhappily, why did Telia have to adopt this, this, killer? He thought.

"Hey Tyranna!" Came another of her friends, named Lana. She was dark green in color, with red eyes. "Hey Lana! You wanna play with me and Al?" Tyranna asked. Just before Lana could reply, her father stepped in front of her. "It's not safe to play with sharpteeth!" He growled.

Telia saw this and picked up her surprised daughter. "Sharptooth? Mother, whats a sharptooth?" Tyranna asked. "Well, that's what you are dear." Telia answered. "Oh, how come I can't play with Lana, we were having fun." She inquired.

"Its just, sharpteeth, other then you of course, are mean, they attack our kind and so many others, but you are a special case, its just some don't know that." Telia answered her daughter.

"Why can't they know that?" Tyranna asked, wondering what she did to make that longneck mad. "Some are prejudiced, but neither you or me are." Telia replied. Tyranna felt her stomach grumble, and she remembered how hungry she was.

"Mom, can I go eat some crawlers?" She asked. Telia put her down, and said "go ahead dear, just stay in sight of the herd."

Second chapter, how is it?


Fyn16

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Very nice! I noticed a couple of parallels to the original movie. This can be a good thing, but you should be careful with them. For example, characters aside, the scene where Tyranna is told she's not allowed to play with her friend is very similar to Littlefoot's and Cera's first encounter. I'm not really nitpicky about this stuff, but some readers are, so make sure you strive for originality. Grammar and punctuation are great, and I can already tell I like the characters. They speak like they should, and they act according to their ages. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!


vonboy

  • Chomper: "Threehorns are better at everything, including rumpsteaks"
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I'm really liking this idea for a story, and I really wanna see how it turns out.
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Chomper98

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Quote from: Fyn16,Aug 14 2012 on  04:09 PM
Very nice! I noticed a couple of parallels to the original movie. This can be a good thing, but you should be careful with them. For example, characters aside, the scene where Tyranna is told she's not allowed to play with her friend is very similar to Littlefoot's and Cera's first encounter. I'm not really nitpicky about this stuff, but some readers are, so make sure you strive for originality. Grammar and punctuation are great, and I can already tell I like the characters. They speak like they should, and they act according to their ages. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
I just decided to icorpoarate a similar scene to the movie, and add the anti-racism theme to this. I will have more originality later.


Fyn16

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Fine with me! It's a good theme to cover.

Re-asking my first question, though, do I get the cookies? :smile

Again, my guess is Screech and Thud...


Chomper98

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Quote from: Fyn16,Aug 14 2012 on  04:52 PM
Fine with me! It's a good theme to cover.

Re-asking my first question, though, do I get the cookies? :smile

Again, my guess is Screech and Thud...
 :lol Its a joke, um, you do know Screech and Thud are raptors right? :crazy


Fyn16

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Quote from: Chomper98,Aug 14 2012 on  05:26 PM
Quote from: Fyn16,Aug 14 2012 on  04:52 PM
Fine with me! It's a good theme to cover.

Re-asking my first question, though, do I get the cookies? :smile

Again, my guess is Screech and Thud...
:lol Its a joke, um, you do know Screech and Thud are raptors right? :crazy
Yeah, but "Sharptooth's" a pretty general term. Screech and Thud are technically Sharpteeth (but more specifically, Fast Biters). Also, the colors you described for the two males seemed to fit.

Ah well, it was worth a shot anyway... :lol


Chomper98

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Chapter 2, On the Move

For a few more weeks, the herd stayed at their old home, but they all knew they would have to leave eventually, and that eventually soon came. Dac decided to leave in the morning, so they could get a good start into their journey.

So the herd left their home, trying to find another land of plenty. For the children, it was hard, several died of exhaustion on the way, and still others fell prey to sharpteeth, most were fast-biter packs, and a few sharpteeth and sharphorns here and there, luckily most of the children made it.

Dac was determined to save his herd, which was now far larger. Several wandering herds of Three-horns, Spike-tails, Hollow-horns, Club-Tails, flyers, and Swimmers joined up, all trying to find a fertile paradise. Of course, it was kind of difficult to get the new combined herds to accept Tyranna, but soon, most of them did, some children even played with her.

These were Bambo, a male Threehorn who had brown skin and blue eyes, Para, a Swimmer who had a striking blue skin pattern, different to his kind's normally dark green looks, and a flyer named Tera who had blue scales.

The five children(Tyranna, Al, Bambo, Para, and Tera) were some of the first(this is at the same time Littlefoot and his friends came together) mixed species friendships at the time, and though some dissaproved, they still held on to it.

At the same time, Dac was warming up to Tyranna, and sometimes even engaged in conversation. Dac continued to try and find an oasis in this desert, but though the herd marched day after day, they could find no such fertile paradise. Would they ever find one?

A/N: I know there was no dialogue, but I felt this should be a chapter where I introduce other main characters, and the reason I had alot of herds join together is that I don't believe most dinosaur were specieists like Topsy in the first one, and since they were desperate, they would take any chance to find a better place, they socialize a little, and then they develop friendship with eachother, thats what I think happened to the adults in LBT 1.