The Path

[Fyn16]

Good morning, GoF!

I have here today my response to Sovereign's special prompt challenge to Rhombus and myself! Further details are included in the author's note on fanfiction.net, so I'll go ahead and post my link here.

The Path

Work has also commenced on my prompt response to the main prompt this month, as well as "To Tread Upon Fields Afar." It's going to be a writing intensive month, but what else am I gonna do? I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere for Spring Break.

Furthermore, if you are interested in checking out any of my non-LBT work, I have also posted a short story that I submitted to my school's fiction writing competition yesterday, a short piece titled "Spring Green." It's... well, it's not my best work, I feel, but it's definitely unique when compared to my other stuff!

[Sovereign]

This was a very nice interpretation of my prompt and I really like how it turned out. The idea of showing how Rear's pack was formed fit was a good idea for this particular challenge, especially considering her internal turmoil after her not-perfect childhood. Also, the Alpha's path was a a very good idea and it managed to add more relevant lore to this story and to the Fields.

The basic idea for the plot was very clever and the way you showed Rear's fears and insecurities as well as the sights in the forest were tangible. I particularly liked Rear's temporary passing outs as they only added to the surrealism and fearful atmosphere. I truly enjoy these kind of scenes as they are a great way to blend the characters' thoughts and efficient and detailed descriptions of the environment to use.

Truth be told, I was expecting something that would drift even further to the realm of horror and to more mysterious events. That genre is quite rare in LBT stories but that's just a minor detail. Yet, this story managed to balance itself between that vision and meaningful character development. Furthermore, it's nice to see more backstory added to your main story.

All in all, I'm really happy to see how this turned out. You fulfilled the main points of my purposely vague prompt and integrate it into a great storyline and interesting plot-building. But after reading this, it feels like a shame that Alpha had to die so early... Anyway, you did a great job on this story!

[Fyn16]

Whoops! Sorry about misinterpreting somewhat. I guess the part about the fountain washing tears away and imaginary threats spoke to me the loudest.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback! Truly enjoyed working on this one.

[rhombus]

I had a chance to catch it before my last class of the night.  And I must say: this is going to be very hard for anyone else to match in terms of quality this month.  

I truly feel for Rear in this story.  Her growing up with a problem that was difficult to mask (in her case, fear) and then being mocked for it by her peers is certainly something that I can relate to.  Likewise the drive to overcome the perceived weakness and to appear normal or worthy is something that I think many of us with childhood weaknesses can attest to.  Despite this, she succeeded in scoring a kill during her first hunt - quickly proving wrong her potential detractors - and managed to pursue her desire to be a pack member instead of a nest mother.  With what we have learned in this story, her actions in the main story now become much more clear.  With all of her struggles to get to where she was and to join a pack it is obvious why she was hellbent on keeping on her path - uncertain as it was at the time - in order to continue to wherever it led.  If not in her original pack, then in a most unconventional one.

This is a great story, Fyn. I look forward to seeing what you plan on doing with this month's main prompt as well.