The Long Night

[StardustSoldier]

(Decided I was no longer comfortable sharing this publicly, but you are welcome to PM me if you would still like to read it.)

[Anagnos]

A trip down memory lane with the leading role intended for Littlefoot's mother? Now, that is not only a great source of inspiration, but something that has been relatively forgotten throughout the time Land Before Time reaped the benefit of being one of the most successful movies at the time. I'm glad to see someone interested in her character to dedicate an entire story for her, and this is merely the overture for the longneck. You have certainly proven yourself to be an able-bodied writer, but if I may say, your descriptive nature is monumental. It is fascinating that you even had the egg stealer play a larger part here in place of what we've already seen of him.

Littlefoot himself slept peacefully within the comfort of his herd. The herd he knew already by their sight, their scent, and their love. He knew they would be together always.

Sadly, we know how this will eventually end, but one thing to look out for is more intriguing viewpoints from the absent characters in the original film that unfortunately were not really developed, but at least here, they get the window of opportunity.

[Sovereign]

This was quite a good take on Littlefoot’s birth. Here you presented a very believable and nice look into Littlefoot’s Mother’s thoughts surrounding this momentous event. Your writing was very easy and interesting to read and concentrating on the many implications of his birth was a good way to show that there was more at stake here than just Saphira’s and her parents’ own happiness. This indeed was a matter of life and death for the herd and the obvious happiness was rather apparent.

Now, while you showed that you are a very capable writer here, repeating a scene from a film with only some extra emphasis on thoughts may not be the most exciting idea. Of course rewriting film scenes is common and can result in excellent results but usually they result in some alternate ending or they greatly expand the scene. Here neither of those was true but even then, this story was a worthy read. Good job!

[rhombus]

This was a lovely response to the February prompt, and one which really took us on a trip to where the sage all began: with the birth of everyone's favorite sauropod.  From my perspective this offering has three major strengths, which make this more than a simple retelling of this classic scene.  First, your ability to describe the scenery and the scene itself is excellent, and this really adds to the emotional salience of the scene depicted in this story.  Second, in the first part of this retelling you clearly show what is at stake through taking us through Saphira's thoughts.  Finally, you manage to do all of this in a concise narrative, which relies upon showing as opposed to telling.  For that reason, even though this offering is short in length, it still packs an emotional punch.  Thank you very much for sharing this wonderful scene retelling with us.

[OwlsCantRead]

This was quite the heartwarming choice for a hatching scene: Littlefoot, arguably the catalyst of the series as a whole. I like the use of concealed knowledge to the story's advantage: not once is Saphira mentioned to be a longneck or the eggstealer's species mentioned until the reveal of this story being a novelization of Littlefoot's hatch scene, which causes it to be more impactful. Overall, a precious scene reminiscent of the movie it's adapting from.

[DiddyKT2]

After taking a long hiatus from reading fanfics, I thought I'd give this one a read, and I'm glad I did. This felt like a blast from the past as we see how the story of the brave longneck began through the eyes of one who finally sees her dreams of motherhood come true. I second what others say about how the scenery and atmosphere of the scene bring such an emotional impact to the heartwarming scene of new life beginning. At the same time, it stays loyal to the original material and provides us with the perfect blend between source and originality.

You should be proud of yourself for writing this. It's certainly one of the sweetest entries I've seen in recent memory.