Land Before Time: Twilight Valley

[Cancerian Tiger]

I would say thunderstorm (either day or night), but I feel this is cliched in battle scenes.  It just sounds like it's been used a lot of times in stories, but that's just my take on it.

Fog would be interesting to use for a battle scene, and so would snow.  I like the sound of a foggy and snowy night, simply for the eerie factor.  Who wouldn't be scared as hell fighting in dense fog :!?  On top of that, snow wouldn't make the visibility any easier.  It could be like one of those whiteouts that folks up north encounter during the winter months.

[Adder]

Who wouldn't be scared as hell fighting in dense fog :!?

Besides Cera, nobody. Not much can scare Cera.


[size0]Except sharks and sharpteeth anyway.

[Pangaea]

Well, for some reason I really can't imagine the battle taking place in a snowy setting. And didn't you already have some foggy battle scenes in the Land of Mists? I agree with CT that epic battles set during thunderstorms are a little clichÈd, but personally I think that would be the way to go, especially if you want a dramatic setting.

I think you could make a thunderstorm battle a little more original by having the weather conditions actually affect the combatants. For instance, wet ground causing characters to lose their footing. An ill-timed slip could play havoc with the odds in a fight, making the outcome of any battle far less predictable. (A fast runner could triumph over a large sharptooth if the latter slipped and impaled itself on the former's spear or something.)

Also, lightning strikes. Considering the power and danger of these natural phenomena, it surprises me that they almost never do anything in battle scenes besides provide dramatic lighting (almost always in concert with thunder). It would be interesting to see them have a physical impact on the fighters. Something I've wondered for a while how susceptible some of the larger dinosaurs (especially the tall sauropods) were to being struck by lightning. There's also the possibility of lightning strikes knocking down trees, or even secondarily striking dinosaurs who are in contact with a tall object such as a tree or rock. Even a weapon raised especially high could be a potential lightning rod.

Finally, assuming it's the (former) Great Valley dinosaurs who make the first move to take back their home, it's logical that they would choose to do so at a time when they would have the best chance of succeeding. Rain would be a hindrance to both leafeaters and sharpteeth (and indeed they might not intend to strike during a thunderstorm), but it occurs to me that sharpteeth might see better at night (do you ever state that in your story?), so I think a daytime thunderstorm (perhaps in the early morning) might make more sense.

Who wouldn't be scared as hell fighting in dense fog :!?

Besides Cera, nobody. Not much can scare Cera.


[size0]Except sharks and sharpteeth anyway.

She does also seem to have a fear of thunderstorms, as evidenced in the first two movies and stated in the fifth (and I may be forgetting more examples).

[Serris]

Nope, no foggy battle, yet. So far, I think the best idea may be an early sneak attack under the cover of "early morning fog". This will then switch to a vicious thunderstorm around mid morning-early afternoon.

Oh and I will try to work in the lightning strikes...maybe even have a few fires started by them...

As for snow, I may have that some time later in the story.

Thanks for all the help, guys!

[Caustizer]

Fog would make an interesting settting, though Thunderstorms do indeed seem to be the thing to do for big battles like this.

[Serris]

YES. After months of the most painful writer's block imaginable, it is here! Chapter 37 of Twilight Valley.

Granted, it may not be my best but remember that I just managed to break writer's block that lasted months.

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Chapter 37

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Author's Notes:

The chapter title takes its name from a piece of trailer music of the same name by  West One Music

Wingtails are property of Sky.

Wingtail glass-making, Feral Forest and Black Mountain are all from Caustizer's fan fiction Far Away Home

[Caustizer]

It's nice to see another chapter of Twilight Valley... I was beginning to think that it wasn't coming!  :unsure:

The integration of Blackjack's herd into the Great Valley dinosaurs was understandably rough and was well covered in this chapter.  I like how they laid down strict measures against the newcomers because it shows that they are beginning to change their ways of thinking to counter the underhanded tactics that Claw Valley is using.  I know that I would be suspicious too in that kind of scenario.

The Reborn and Diamondclaws clearly have a unique and brutal idea of sport... I can understand why the living that serve alongside them are unnerved by it.  If these 'enhanced' sharpteeth can do this kind of damage to one another it would be child's play for them to do it to you... and unfortunately the effects would be quite perminant.  I wonder how the Great Valley dinosaurs are going to counter Claw Valley's new weapon (somehow I doubt it's going to involve Plasma Shells   )

All the above being said I do feel that the story is kind of going a bit slowly.  The majority of text in the thirty seven chapters covers the preperations and impacts of war with some combat, but the plot has moved at the speed of a grinding wheel which can make reading through a chapter and have nothing happen somewhat annoying.

I don't mean you have to have them beating the crap out of Excidium in two chapters, but seeing strings of the plot tie themselves up (such as Ducky and Ms. Maia, Deimos and the other sharpteeth resolving their conflicts with Claw Valley, Ozzy vs. Strut, etc) is much more appealing than the usual routine of checking what new confections Mr. Bigmouth is working on, watching denizens practise their combat arts, and observing the acting out of the petty squabbles between minor  characters.  

I don't think you should stop doing them at all, but my honest opinion is that by this late in the story it would be nice to see things start to come together.

I appreciate the reference to wingtails too... they sure are intolerant of outsiders!  

Caustizer

[Cancerian Tiger]

Besides pretty much all that Caustizer has said, I have a very strong feeling an epic battle is on the horizon .

[Serris]

The giant battle may cover more than one chapter, just to let you all know.

[Mumbling]

This fanfiction has been nominated by its author to be rated for the fanfiction awards 2011. To all the readers and fans of this fanfiction, please rate and review it!

[Serris]

Oh, belated thanks to Caustizer and everyone who voted for my fic in the awards.

I know the fic moves slowly but I tried to capture the fact that in most wars there is a lot of "downtime" in between battles.

Not to worry, it will start picking up.

On a side note, I am heading back to school in a week or so, so unless my something absolutely insane happens, don't expect a new chapter for a month or so.

[Serris]

*Sigh*

I had hoped that this would not occur and I wish I didn't have to say it but Twilight Valley is now on hiatus until I can get my writing abilities back up to speed and figure out where to take things.

[Cancerian Tiger]

Sorry to hear that.  Writer's block sucks <_<.

[Petrie85]

Ah hopefully you can come up with something good soon. Sorry to hear that. Looking forward to the next chapter.

[Caustizer]

[Serris]

Please read this announcement:

I had hoped that this would not occur and I wish I didn't have to say it but Twilight Valley is now on hiatus until I can get my writing abilities back up to speed and figure out where to take things.

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On a side note, writing a smaller story is starting to revive my writing abilities and I sort of see where the story will be going in the next few chapters.

That said, I am hesitant to make a solid date for the next chapter.

[Petrie85]

Ah And I bet it will be a great chapter. Looking forward to ereading it when ever it's done.