Land Before Time: Twilight Valley

Serris · **Reply #80 on:** May 19, 2009, 12:20:56 AM

Thank you so much, Cancerian Tiger! I LOVE it, I edited some grammatical errors and filled in the obscenities in my draft.

There's a good chance you'll see it used.

Also, feel free to offer suggestions or even drafts of plots.

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #81 on:** May 19, 2009, 10:35:58 AM

You're welcome

!

Yeah, I had read over the scene and spotted grammatical errors. I was editing them when ya posted, but that's okay. It's nice to have a proofreader

. As for the obscenities, I censored them due to the GOF rules and the possibility of children reading these posts. I also realized I forgot to include Ducky's catchphrases. Oops

!

I'll keep adding suggestions and/or drafts in mind as the fanfic comes along

! Keep up the great work

!

Serris · **Reply #82 on:** June 07, 2009, 01:56:42 AM

Chapter 21 is up!

Chapter 21

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Author's Notes:

Major thanks to Cancerian Tiger for providing me with a draft to work with. Her draft appears in the beginning/middle with little modification.

Penthium tree takes its name from the sedative Sodium Pentothal.

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #83 on:** June 07, 2009, 11:36:47 PM

Nice chapter

! I liked the addition of finding the herbs for Ducky.

Serris · **Reply #84 on:** June 13, 2009, 01:07:43 AM

Well, as the conclusion of chapter 21 shows, there's going to be a battle between the Great Valley and Claw Valley expedition teams. I have considered making it a 3 way battle (3rd party: group of hostile Mysterious Beyond dinosaurs <possibly 1 species like Iquan's and Altus's herds>. Erm, what herds are there in the MB?). Let me know what you all think about a triple battle.

Serris · **Reply #85 on:** July 02, 2009, 11:56:31 AM

Aw right! Chapter 22 is up!

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Warning: Contains hints of suicide

Chapter 22

Enjoy.

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Author's Notes:

The "never surrender" line at the end of the chapter was inspired by the Halo 2 track called, appropriately, "Never Surrender"
"Never Surrender". Interestingly, I was listening to that track as I was writing it.

The sticks laced with pieces of rock are from the Twilight Valley RP.

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #86 on:** July 02, 2009, 10:25:16 PM

Loved the latest chapter

! Geez, that battle scene was very intense, especially the airborne combats, but it was awesome

. That last part that involved Ducky having thought of taking herself out was sad. It actually made me cry, but that's a good thing. I seldom ever cry from movies or stories, so that means the scene is really powerful, at least in my opinion. A great update overall. I'm glad you're writer's block lifted

.

Caustizer · **Reply #87 on:** July 03, 2009, 10:55:22 AM

A very interesting concept. You have good taste in war music from what I heard of that Halo track (I myself have never played Halo though).

Serris · **Reply #88 on:** July 04, 2009, 12:54:02 AM

Well, thanks for the feedback!

Erm, would the thought of Ducky participating in some military action be too disturbing? I'm not going to have her kill anyone (at least not yet) but she will be assisting in sabotage (destroying stockpiles, weapons etc.)

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #89 on:** July 04, 2009, 11:42:57 PM

I'd say go for it

!

Serris · **Reply #90 on:** July 28, 2009, 02:31:07 AM

Chapter 23 is online!

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Chapter 23

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Author's Notes:

Thanks to Cancerian Tiger for these two ideas which have been implemented:

Quote

Ducky sabotaging enemy supplies.

Ambush on the protagonists, followed by hand to hand combat.

The beachside encampment was based off my main camp in the Wii game Sims 2: Castaway.

Leaf sled was inspired by LBT V (Chomper uses a leaf sled to carry food to his friends). Rytho doing the same is a direct homage to that scene.

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #91 on:** July 28, 2009, 02:53:43 AM

Another great chapter

. Dangit! Why did that loathsome Ms. Maia and her minions have to show up?! They spoiled the moment

. Well, looks like it's butt-kickin' time (insert kung fu emoticon)

!

Jasper · **Reply #92 on:** July 28, 2009, 04:28:35 PM

Well I have to say another great chapter.

Serris · **Reply #93 on:** August 02, 2009, 11:41:18 PM

Here's a bit of trivia for fans:

The title of the fan fiction was intended to refer to the "new name" of the Great Valley in a wartime situation.

Then "Twilight Valley" was changed to an actual valley (possibly a valley that Claw Valley has conquered).

For now, the title simply refers to how the Great Valley's normally joyful atmosphere is darkened by war, but yet a bright spot of hope exists amidst the darkness.

However, I may decide to add in Twilight Valley as a location but I am undecided.

Serris · **Reply #94 on:** August 09, 2009, 08:37:47 PM

Chapter 24 is online!

And Twilight Valley has broken the 100,000 word barrier (102,398 words to be exact.)

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Chapter 24

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Author's Notes:

The motive for GV dinosaurs to defect can be assumed to be hatred for the leadership of the Great Valley.

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #95 on:** August 10, 2009, 05:03:53 AM

Another nice chapter

! Looks like Ms. Maia underestimated the protagonists

. Sheesh! I would not want to piss off Ed either, after what he did to that sickleclaw

.

jedi472 · **Reply #96 on:** August 10, 2009, 11:26:51 AM

I'm really enjoying this story. It's especially fun to read after I get off a long shift at work. Thanks for writing it!

Belmont2500 · **Reply #97 on:** August 10, 2009, 09:27:32 PM

I read and reviewed ch.24 the story's climax is really getting good

Caustizer · **Reply #98 on:** August 10, 2009, 09:55:30 PM

Quote from: Serris,Jun 13 2009 on 12:07 AM

Well, as the conclusion of chapter 21 shows, there's going to be a battle between the Great Valley and Claw Valley expedition teams. I have considered making it a 3 way battle (3rd party: group of hostile Mysterious Beyond dinosaurs <possibly 1 species like Iquan's and Altus's herds>. Erm, what herds are there in the MB?). Let me know what you all think about a triple battle.

Triple Battles are cool, but what always ends up happening is two team up against one to get rid of that group before engaging each other.

I find the best battles are between two evil armies - like having Claw Valley versus another faction of Sharpteeth, because no matter what happens the good guys win.

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #99 on:** August 11, 2009, 01:08:38 AM

Question: Is there somethin' going on between Rytho and Ducky? I mean, not only does Rytho seem to be the most protective of her, but he's usually the one comforting her as well. It also appears they're always with each other. If those two are developing feelings for each other, I think it's cute

.