This is a standard question: What got you interested in Twilight Valley? Do you have any suggestions/critiques for me?
I got interested in Twilight Valley simply because of its premise. I mean, a Land Before Time war story... that's pretty cool. Anything that has LBT mixed with drama/action/sci-fi (take your pick), I'm interested in. Add to that the fact that the story has an excellent plot and is very well-written, and... well, I love it.
As a matter of fact, I do have some pointers that have been on my mind for a while. The only things I find out of place about the story are these:
-The characters of your creation seem barely introduced before they are involved in the plot as if they were a part of it all from the beginning. For example, only a couple of lines or so are dedicated to introducing the characters of Deimos, Raptix and Blue-Scale. Hate to say this, but I would have liked to have seen a description of their history, so that I knew why and how the three sharpteeth knew each other. I'm really sorry, but the first few chapters of the story are incredibly confusing to me... but the rest of it's very good.
-The alliances between the villains are also leaving me slightly flummoxed. Why are Ozzie, Strut, Rinkus and Sierra involved with Claw Valley and the hunt for the Stone of Cold Fire? And why do the former two hate each other's guts all of a sudden? There aren't very many explanations that I can see.
-Speaking of the Stone... I can't help but feel that the story has distanced itself from its original idea. The various sub-plots of the nightflower mission, Ducky's kidnapping and the mission to save her are all excellent, but for many chapters I haven't seen any references to Excidium or the Stone. Probably me not paying attention again, but some sub-plots appear have been left hanging without a resolution. I know that it'll eventually come back around, but it'd be great if, at some point in the future, you could include something to remind the readers why this war started in the first place.
That said, I still love this story. It's one of the most creative ideas I've ever read and I can't wait for new instalments. Keep writing buddy...
