Forgiveness?

[Saft]

Hmm, another ''curiosity'' bout, however, I was wondering (again the dang curiosity) whether people would forgive others?

I think for me, it depends on the circumstances.  One of the problems that I have, is that I'm quite ''over trusting''...which means that I'm more willing to forgive someone for something serious even when I know...deep down, that they will continue it again (like with the problems with family).  Yet at the same time, I can hold grugdes over things (such as the bullying) that has happened a long time ago and remember like it happened yesterday.  Also, I don't like people ''hating'' me...or along that sort of thing.  So it's quite complicated for me.

[Petrie.]

Yes, I can forgive.  Sometimes, you have to really earn the trust back, but life is too short to remain mad forever.

[Malte279]

I don't think there are many people who are totally unable to forgive no matter the circumstances. There is a difference if somebody accidentally stepped on somebody else's foot (How could one ever forgive such lack of care?) or is somebody murdered ones family (gee, what's all the fuss about?)

[landbeforetimelover]

I'm going to be honest here; not usually.  Of course it does depend on the circumstances and who exactly I'm forgiving, but generally when someone rips me off or does something malicious I don't usually forgive them.  For example, I would NEVER forgive a car dealership if they knowingly ripped me off with a car.  On the flip side I would most definitely forgive a family member that did something wrong so long as they didn't mean to do it.  Forgiveness is only useful if you plan to associate with that person again.

[DarkWolf91]

I used to hold timeless grudges, but eventually came to the realization that there was no point to it.
Nowadays I have a very objective disposition when it comes to relationships. If somebody behaves in a way that is injurious to me, I take for granted that they are simply responding to incentives and so I don't really get worked up unless I get caught in the moment.
Resentment is a no-go, though negative experiences definitely alter the way I behave around that person in future encounters.

[Nick22]

forgiveness is something we are taught to do at an early age, of course in reality it depends on the circumstances..I usually try to forgive people who have acted badly towards me..

[Mumbling]

Usually... I'll never forgive some people, but usually it's not an issue.

[Adder]

Usually... I'll never forgive some people, but usually it's not an issue.

I'm the same way as you (and Petrie). If I do forgive sometime, its normally a while before I do.

[Blitz]

Much to my misfortune, yes. I'm usually quick to forgiving others. I have been known to hold a couple of grudges though, but I always end up letting them go.

[Campion1]

Some things are inexcusable, but not unforgivable.

[Cancerian Tiger]

Many friends and relatives have described me as being one of the most forgiving people they know.  I am generally quick to forgive somebody, especially if they realize what they did and apologize right away.  I normally end up forgiving somebody for their error(s) even though they don't ask for forgiveness.  

Another reason I believe in forgiveness is my strong belief in karma.  I truly believe that things come back to haunt folks.  Knowing folks who have done others wrong will get theirs sooner or later makes it easier to not hold grudges against 'em, knowing they're gonna get a taste of bad karma for what they did.

While I do believe it is important to forgive others, I also feel it is important to not forget what the individual did.  Not only is it humanly impossible to successfully self-induce amnesia and forget the times you've gotten screwed over by someone, but also it is a good way to ensure the person does not repeat the same wrong.  If we all were to forget the wrongs others have done to us, then we would just let the same crap happen over and over again.  In a nutshell, forgive the person, but watch your back more closely around 'em until they are able to fully earn your trust back.

I have found that there are some folks who just continue to repeat the same offenses over and over and over again no matter how many times you've forgiven the person.  There is a point where ya eventually draw a line in the sand and say enough is enough.

[MrDrake]

For me, it just depends on the sitation and what has happened which all is taken into consideration.

I don't want to go into any detail on it, and especially, I do not want to use any real life issues either as an example....I'd rather keep away from them myself....

So I guess you could say, at times, I do hold grudges against people, but like I said, it all depends on the situation and what have you.

[Amaranthine]

I remember voting sometimes in this thread, but to be honest, more often then not, I will NEVER, EVER forgive people for what they have done.

I don't think there are many people who are totally unable to forgive no matter the circumstances

Maybe, but I guess I'm one of those "few" you talk about that just can't forgive and forget no matter what.

It's just who I am and I have just learned to accept that I have a hard time forgiving people and getting over them. It's just my personality.

They say it's fine to forgive, but you cannot ever forget, but I find it hard to do both. Because even when I do forget what happened, when I hear it again, I become angry again.

[DarkHououmon]

What's the point in staying angry with people?

[Amaranthine]

^I don't know, it's just automatic.

[DarkHououmon]

What if you did something that upset someone and you apologized for it, would you want them to forgive you or continue to be angry at you for something you can't change?

[Mumbling]

Staying angry with people can be a very good thing too Kacie. Think of someone who may have threatened you. You don't want to forgive him just to give him a chance to actually hurt you. In some cases you should not forgive, but rather forget (and ignore) that person.

[DarkHououmon]

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[Mumbling]

Even people that threaten you can say that they are sorry. That's not a reason to forgive them. In any case, I was just giving an example.

[DarkHououmon]

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