That drawing in the first post is great! Rahl reminds me a little of the
Alien creatures (I thought she looked biomechanical even before I saw the profile). I especially like the design of the head. Are those things on the sides of her face flexible like tentacles, or are they more like horns?
Really interesting idea to make her a Precambrian creature. :! It's a shame she's so militaristic and thinks so little of dinosaurs; it would be interesting to see her get along with them. Although I suppose that might be difficult considering she's a carnivore. Speaking of which, what does she plan for her kind to eat once they take over? Wouldn't it make sense for her to keep some dinosaurs around as a food source, rather than wiping them out entirely?
The
Spore version of Rahl is great, too,

but the humanoid…um…chest looks very, very strange (Do Galionus suckle their young like mammals? If not, then that feature doesn't make a whole lot of sense, unless it serves some other purpose that is specific to female Galionus). While it goes without saying that she's your creature and you have the right to design her as you please, I don't think you need to give her humanoid characteristics such as an hourglass figure (or even eyelashes, like the LBT dinosaurs) to show that she's female. The way I see it, she's a very alien creature, being a species that dates from even before the ancestors of modern animals evolved shells, eyes, jaws, and bones. Even if her kind developed a body plan that parallels that of later creatures, it would seem very unlikely that the features distinguishing males from females would be the same. Perhaps the spikes of male Galionus could differ in shape, arrangement, length, and/or number from the females'. Or the males could differ in overall size. Personally, I think something like that would make more sense.
In any case, I didn't think she looked very humanoid, especially in the first picture. She has a body plan like a bipedal dinosaur, with a long tail to counterbalance her upper body. That's not the body plan of a creature that spends a lot of time standing completely upright like a human (Even in the
Spore picture her spine is clearly at a diagonal angle). And I don't know where her vital organs are located, but if they're inside her upper torso, then she should probably have some form of armor protecting her chest (unless she has natural armor there, in which case she shouldn't have a female-human-like chest).
By the way, the title of this fanfic is meant to be "The
Ascension of Rahl", right? You'll want to make sure to spell it right.

On to the other character, Reign (What's the reason for the name, just out of curiosity?). I like the striped pattern you gave her; I assume she inherits that from her father as well? That's an interesting pose you drew her in, too. I like the idea of the stick-chewing habit.

And Ali's method of getting her to shut up:

Reign's lips look rather strange in the picture, though; even if she's holding a stick in her mouth, I think the visible edges of her mouth should extend farther. (Did you try that and not like how it looked? I see eraser marks.)
Whoa, if she builds rock forts, then they must be pretty big.

Did her herd migrate like Ali's? (I'm imagining her continually trying to build rock forts, but having to leave them unfinished because her herd has to move on.) I like her attitude about love interests, too.

I hope she gets over those racist feelings, though. It's interesting that this time, Ali will be the one who's accepting of other species as friends, and her companion is the one who doesn't like the idea.