Hey guys, I'm trying to make a new fanfic right now. Can you tell me what you think?
Short description: When a US Navy experiment goes horribly wrong, the Great Valley finds itself visited by strange creatures who plummet the valley into a war like no other.
Plot summary:
During the infamous Project Rainbow, the USS Eldridge is sent to the Bermuda Triangle to test out new breakthrough version of the Unified Field Theory, which states that an object can form its own space-time continuum using electromagnetic radiation and gravity. However, when the experiment goes horribly wrong, the ship creates a time tunnel in the middle of the Bermuda triangle. The time tunnel, in its own space-time continuum, randomly travel to different time periods, causing the disappearance of Flight 19 and the USS Cyclops. The experiment is kept secret by the US government and is kept top-secret.
Meanwhile in the Great Valley, the Gang of Seven finds a wreck of a PT boat as well as a DC-3 in the secret caverns. They keep it as a form a "clubhouse". However, when the famous TBF Avengers of Flight 19 enters the valley, Littlefoot believes that this is a sign of more things to come.
In 2016, a nuclear exchange between Israel and Arabs countries of the Middle East rockets the price of oil to 900 dollars a barrel. With world-wide fuel shortages, the US and UN is forced to consider drilling in prehistoric earth. Ships are then secretly sent to the Bermuda Triangle, sent to the past, and unload "green" oil-drilling equipment. However, when a Cuban vessel also discovers the time tunnel, Cuba, along with Communist North Korea, also send vessels to drill for oil. The stage for war is set.
When the Americans and UN soldiers first arrive in the Great Valley, they are friendly and respectful towards the dinosaurs, helping them fight off disease while taking good care of the land. However, when the communists strip-mine most of the Mysterious Beyond, they target the Great Valley. The Great Valley and its inhabitants and plunged into a war like no other.
Yes, I know that it's not the most original story, but I was just wondering if you guys had any suggestions or comments. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but praise is prefered.
First of all, I congratulate you for coming up with an idea for a fanfic. I really like the idea of having the Bermuda Triangle as a portal to the Great Valley. The Bermuda Triangle has always been a place of mystery, so I found that was really interesting.
Here's where you want to be careful. Most fanfic writers fall into a trap where they like to just put anything they can think of into a different universe. Most of the time these are crossovers, but other times it's the idea of introducing unfamiliar things into a universe. You want to make sure that whatever you introduce into the LBT universe doesn't drastically change the way it is structured.
If you still want to do a "war" story within LBT, I suggest you read
Twilight Valley by Serris. It is a LBT War story, however all of the "technology" per-say is created with things found in the LBT universe. Reading that, or even asking Serris, could give you a better insight as to how a "war" could be done in LBT.
Here's a possible idea you could think of. Maybe when the humans arrive in the Great Valley and want to start a war, have them use primitive weapons rather than modern weapons. Have them make spears and whatnot. That would make it really dynamic because they would have to use their surroundings in order to survive.
I think you have a very interesting starting concept, and just remember that in the end this is YOUR story. I'm not telling you how to write it, I'm just offering suggestions. You can choose to take these into account, or you could dismiss everything in this post and go about it however you please. When you finally write your story, write how you feel best. Don't let anybody else try to tell you how to write your story. As long as you are committed to your idea, it will turn out great.
I hope this helps, and I hope it doesn't come off the wrong way.
