The Gang of Five
Howdy, everyone!

As you know, the forum has been fighting spammers and bots for years. We have seen our fair share of "Custom Kitchens UK", scammy Internet hosting companies, and bots trying to send us to a business's homepage. But after fighting the tidal wave of spam for so many years, the admins had a persistent thought: what if the spammers are right? Not in terms of posting nonsense links and trying to scam our users, but in trying to make money through our unique platform?

Well, thanks to the helpful counsel of Taunt, we have finally decided to move the forum in a new direction. Please see his important post on the matter in this topic

The Seven Hunters

rhombus · 408 · 166846

rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Thanks for the review.  :) I have made the corrections that you noted.  Those darn typos indeed...

Quote
The talk between Pearl and Littlefoot is veeeeeeery well done in my view. We haven't learned much about Pearl yet but this scene shows that she is actually pretty easy-going and quite a motherly character :smile

Thanks.  That was exactly the representation that I was aiming for in my depiction of her.  I was especially interested in showing the interaction between her and Littlefoot in that he was needing a maternal influence in this time of great confusion and she was needing to judge the character of the dinosaur who would be leading Ruby's pack.  They both seemed to find what they needed in the conversation.  :yes

Quote
The hints at the Gang killing Sharpteeth are a good aspect too. It leads to the interesting idea of fate being responsible that you have written about.

Indeed.  I always thought that some of the other dinosaurs would make that jump in reasoning (that fate has made them become what they fought against) in that they have no understanding of the origin or nature of the stone.  This will be especially true in Pearl's case since she is trying to reconcile what she has learned in a very short time period.

Quote
And a Longneck herd is arriving? This can only mean one thing but I'll keep my mouth shut for I don't wanna spoil the fun of the other readers :exactly (and I'm not going by your synopsis which you don't really seem to follow anyway  :lol )

Yeah... My plot synopsis has more or less turned into a very rough guide for my writing.  There are a few characters (Taunt) who I thought up and added shortly after I sent you my synopsis.  As a consequence, although the basic plot is going to follow the same path that I envisioned, it will take a slightly different course to get there.  

Quote
Right... I'll try to read the most recent chapter asap, can't promise you that I'll be able to though. My mood can have very hard switches, lately... And more often than not, it is not the LBT-related things I fancy doing...

Don't worry, I understand.  :yes I am just appreciative that people are still reading and enjoying my story and I am grateful for all of the feedback that I receive. :)  I also realize that my posting schedule has been a bit rapid which may make keeping up somewhat difficult.  I have set an unofficial goal of sorts to complete this story by Christmas, which means I will need to post a chapter roughly every five or six days until then.

Speaking of which, I should have the next chapter posted tomorrow.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Fanfiction link:  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9990125/26/The-Seven-Hunters

Chapter 25   A familiar duo

“If you are an egg seller, you should never start a fight in the market.”
― Vikrant Parsai


With a final gurgling sound and a shuddering gasp the flyer's chest rose no more.  Ducky looked upon the scene in numb shock.  She had just killed another dinosaur, with the tell-tale blood still upon her claws.  A testament to her bloody deed.

Petrie advanced upon the fast biter with slow, uncertain steps.  He was still overwhelmed by the fact that he was still alive after his close call.  Ducky had risked serious injury in tackling the charging flyer.  When it became obvious that the flyer's wounds were not survivable, she had finished her off upon Petrie's prompting.  However, Petrie soon realized, much more than a flyer had died on this evening.  A bit of Ducky's innocence also had been slain on this day.  She could no longer consider herself a leaf-eater, either in heart or deed.  She was now what she had to be.

"Ducky..."  Petrie started.  He observed that Ducky's back was rising rapidly in sudden spasms.  Ducky be crying. Petrie deduced.  He sighed.  He supposed that he knew that this moment was coming, but that did not make the situation any easier.  He still felt lingering guilt over killing younglings of his own kind.  He could very easily relate to how Ducky was feeling.  Steeling himself for whatever may come, he started again.

"Ducky...  You do what you have to."  He stated softly.  "Me no blame you."

Ducky took a shuddering breath.  "Why?!  Why, do we have to do this?!"  Another sob left her.  "Why do we have to kill?"

Petrie briefly took flight, despite the aching burn from his exhausted wings, and landed on her shoulder.  He immediately put a reassuring wing on her head, a gesture which she readily accepted.  He spoke softly into her ear.

"Me no know...  But me know we have no choice."

Ducky sighed again.  "If I only would have been more careful, maybe she could have been alright.  But instead I kill-ed...  Now I am a bad sharptooth.  I am.  I am."  The tears resumed, but her breathing took on a more normal rhythm.  Although part of her mind lamented what had happened, another was oddly at peace.  She dreaded what that dichotomy might indicate.

Petrie answered immediately.  "If you be more careful then Petrie might die!"  Seeing that Ducky nodded at this and mouth an almost intelligible "sorry" at her thought, he continued more softly.  "Her wing ripped.  No flyer recover from that."  He shook his head at the thought.  "Better she die quick than die slow."

Ducky was silent for some time, before she answered again.  "I know.  I do.  I do."  She shook her head.  "But it is so hard."

The two continued to stare at Ducky's handiwork for several moments, before they finally heard a sound behind them.  Ducky turned and saw two very concerned dinosaurs staring at her.  It was Spike and Littlefoot.

"Ducky?"  Spike inquired.  "Are you alright?"

Ducky simply gave a slight shake of the head.  "The... mother flyer is dead."  Neither dinosaur appeared to be surprised by this.  Apparently they had already seen her handiwork despite her standing between them and the flyer.  How long had they been there watching and waiting?

Littlefoot and Spike then proceeded to walk towards the morose fast biter.  Each of them settled on opposite sides of Ducky as Littlefoot looked in amazement at the dead flyer.  He didn't realize that Ducky had that in her.  He supposed that necessity was the mother of invention.  Ducky was faced with a situation where if she did nothing then Petrie, her dearest friend, would be killed or seriously injured.  She had taken the only action which would save her friend.

Spike nuzzled his sister for a moment, as she resumed crying softly.  Spike sighed.  Of all of the members of the gang, he would not have guessed that his sister would be the next to kill a dinosaur.  He knew that any further explanation on their part would not really help.  She simply needed to process what had happened and to make peace with her new reality.  With that in mind, he glanced at Littlefoot and gave a slight nod.  Littlefoot blinked, but then gave an understanding nod in return.

"Petrie?  Let's go."  Littlefoot softly called to the flyer.  The two siblings needed time alone now in order to come to grips with what had happened.  Meanwhile, he would go and ensure that the others secured the food.  They would come back later for the fallen flyer.

As Petrie flew off slowly and Littlefoot returned to gather the others, Spike began to talk to Ducky.

"How do you feel?"  

The question was equal parts ridiculous and understandable.  It was ridiculous in that Ducky was obviously upset and the cause was open for all to see.  However, it was understandable in that Ducky would need to let her emotions and concerns out.  Spike understood that sometimes just affirming a thing can help someone find acceptance.  Ducky was one of the most emotional and caring dinosaurs that he knew.  He knew that she needed a moment of catharsis.

"Terrible."  She stated simply.  "She was just trying to fight for her babies... And I killed her."

Spike nodded at this simple statement and urged her to continue.  "And what would have happened if you hadn't killed her."

Ducky looked away for a moment.  "Petrie would be dead..."  

Spike nodded again.  "Yes...  It was either him or her, and you chose."  Ducky sucked in another shuddering breath at that thought.  The responsibility was all hers.  Spike continued.  "We are the choosers now, Ducky.  The choosers of life or death.  The stone gave us no choice."

Ducky looked back at the dead flyer.  Her wing and neck were both broken and ripped horribly.  Blood stained the ground all around the shattered corpse.  Her attack had been horrifying in its severity.  Her actions were those of a calculating killer.  And, she knew all too well, a killer was what she was now.

"I hate making that choice."  Ducky affirmed.  The tears had slowed, but a few still streamed from her red, predatory eyes.  "How do I know that I am making the right one?"  She looked at Spike in a confused manner as she gestured with her forelimbs.  "I don't even know what is 'right' anymore.  Nope, nope, nope!"

Spike looked at her for a moment, before too looking at Ducky's kill.  "Neither do I, Ducky.  Neither do I."  He then looked at his sister with a grim expression.  "But I know that we will figure it out together."

Ducky nodded.  "And we can't do that if we are hungry..."

"No."  Spike confirmed.  "We must be what we must be..."

The two stayed there for several moments as they continued to process the events of the hunt.  Slowly but surely Ducky began to come to terms with her new reality.  In much the same way as Littlefoot had adapted after his kill, it seemed that a part of Ducky's new mind was helping her accept her role.  She was stunned to note that her thoughts were soon shifting to thoughts of eating the tasty meat that she had liberated from the hapless flyer.  Spike's cautionary words about hunger were quite apt Ducky realized.  Even if it took her a while to realize what this all means, she resolved to do what she had to do.  It couldn't be helped.  

A few minutes later the pack was surprised to see Spike and Ducky both carrying the remains of the flyer on their backs and walking towards the pack's sleeping area.  Littlefoot had told the others what had happened so they all expected Ducky to be utterly inconsolable.  As a result, Chomper and Cera both stood wide mouthed at the fast biter's appearance with the broken body of the flyer.  Chomper was amazed at Ducky's apparent acceptance of the situation, whereas Cera was stunned at Ducky's brutality in the kill.  The damage done to the flyer was truly horrifying.  Ducky had obviously not taken kindly to the flyer threatening her friend.

"Ducky?"  Littlefoot began.

Spike did not want the others to bring up an emotional wound that had so recently been mended, albeit slightly.  As a result, he gave a gruff response to the unstated question.

"Are all of you going to stand around or are you going to help us with this?  The flyer is heavy!"

After a momentary pause, the rest of the pack rushed to help carry the weight of the evening's main course.  There would be more discussion and tears after the meal, but at least Ducky had begun her journey to acceptance.  Each of them had participated in the killing and now three of them had personally drawn the blood of another dinosaur.  The bonds of the pack which had already been forged in blood had just been retempered in the fires of their previous hunt.

The hunger of the pack had been resolved for one day, but each of them realized that the next day would mean a new struggled for survival.  Those uneasy thoughts were put away into the distance, however, as the pack entered the restful world of sleep.  Such concerns could be left for the morrow.

......

The next day seemed to come too quickly for the young sharpteeth.  They had been up most of the night eating their plentiful prey and discussing the events of the day.  The companionship of her friends further helped Ducky deal with her actions.  She had helped her friends feed and survive.  She had even directly saved Petrie's life.  She slowly came to terms with what she was.  She was a sharptooth now and nothing could change that.

The pack had decided to split up into several groups for a morning scouting run.  Littlefoot and Chomper decided to check out the watering hole in order to check on the herds, whereas Spike and Ruby decided to follow the stream in order to check on any stragglers or newcomers to the lowlands.  Petrie, as usual, had decided to scout from the air and munch on ground fuzzies wherever he found them.

Cera and Ducky, meanwhile, decided to explore in the open grassland itself.  This not only would cover the last area not explored by the pack, but it would also allow the girls to discuss recent events.  Despite their remarkably different temperaments, each had long ago found a confidant in the other.  Ducky had been quite helpful in helping Cera understand her feelings concerning Tricia, as Ducky had plenty of experience dealing with siblings.  Whereas Cera had helped Ducky deal with her lingering annoyance at Spike's antics back when during the bad cold time.  The fact that they were both on the opposite side of the food chain did not change their relationship.  In fact, that made their friendship all the more important.

"It still upsets me.  It does.  It does."  Ducky was recounting her actions from the evening before.  "She was only doing what a mother would do..."

Cera sighed.  She bit back at the slight annoyance that was forming in her mind, as she could certainly understand Ducky's inner torment.  After all, what if Cera had been forced to kill a young threehorn?  How well would she have fared if she had to deal with the consequences of killing her own kind?  Yes, she would cut Ducky some slack.  She certainly deserved that at least.

"Yeah...  But like you said: it was either her or Petrie.  You had no choice, Ducky.  You did what you had to do."

Ducky nodded.  "I know.  But it still hurts...  It does.  It does."

The two were silent for a few moments.  The two had discussed Ducky's hunt for several moments, but it soon became clear that Ducky was recovering from her initial torment.  The incident still haunted her, but she knew that she little choice in the matter.  Even if she was not an innocent hadrosaur anymore, she could still value innocence.  Even if she was a killer now, she could still value life.  She was a sharptooth, but she could decide what that means to her.  That knowledge gave her the foundation that she needed to recover and build a new life.  She was glad that her friends were there to bestow upon her that knowledge.  The only reason that she had not fallen apart was because of their support and comfort.

Ducky put aside her thoughts on the killed flyer family and instead began to focus on another thought that had plagued her mind lately.  She turned to Cera and tried to catch her attention.

"Cera?"  She began.

"Hmm..."  Cera muttered.

Ducky licked her lips, she was uncertain were to begin with her question.  "Do you think that we will ever get to see our mommies and daddies again?"

Cera looked down at that thought.  It was something that had been on their minds ever since the change, but seldom mentioned.  

"I don't know, Ducky...  Even if we talked to them would they believe us?"  Cera looked at Ducky with a questioning expression.  "My dad probably wouldn't buy the whole dream explanation...  He would just think that we are a bunch of crazy fast biters."  Cera licked her lips in nervousness.  "And even if we do convince them, then what?"

Ducky was taken aback by Cera's response.  "Then what?  Well, we get to see our parents again.  Yep, yep, yep!"

Cera sighed.  "Yeah, but we couldn't stay, Ducky.  We have to eat meat now."  She then moved her mouth in an awkward way as if she were contemplatively trying to solve a maze as opposed to composing a sentence.  After a moment, she let out the next thought that came to mind.  "And...  Would we just end up hurting them more?  It's one thing to think that we are dead, but if my dad knew that I was a killer..."

Cera shook her head and looked away for a moment.  Even if she had confidence with Ducky, she was not going to show weakness to the former swimmer.  She quickly hid her watering eyes from Ducky's gaze.

Ducky was not fooled, however, and placed her clawed forelimb on Cera's shoulder.  She gave her a sad smile before she spoke.  "Then we will decide together, Cera.  Either we will tell them or we won't, but either way we still have one another."

Cera nodded at this before showing her appreciation by nuzzling Ducky's paw.  "You're right, Ducky, but it is just so hard sometimes...  I wish we had never found that damn stone!"

The two continued their journey through the tall grasses, occasionally seeing something of note and resolving to tell Littlefoot of their findings.  They thought that they had found a tempting target when they discovered a small longneck that appeared to be all alone.  However, their hopes were dashed when the looming figure of the mother slowly rose from the hill in front of them.  There was no way that they could challenge her and so they promptly fled from the scene.  

They also closely observed the smells which greeted their nostrils.  The number, age, and condition of the longnecks and threehorns in the area were carefully scrutinized and memorized for their future report.  Cera reflected that it was creepy how readily they had taken to analyzing others by smell.  There was an entire realm of existence that they had never truly experience until they had grown sharp teeth and claws.  Cera wondered at times if she would ever change back even if she were offered the opportunity.  She would not regain her innocence in such a reversion, that died the day she helped devour Rhett, and such a reversion would also take away much of what she now took for granted.  Her clearer, more analytical mind.  Her glorious sense of smell.  And a deep almost indescribable sense of loyalty to her pack, that was now based on instinct in addition to the friendship that had formed long ago.  She doubted that she would ever willingly give those up.  Those traits were simply part of her now.

Speaking of smells, something smelled familiar...

Cera suddenly stopped and placed her nose to the ground.  Ducky noticed this action and, rather than interrupt the fast biter's concentration, decided to do the same to see what Cera had picked up.  Cera began to analyze the smell, recalling her numerous smell memories in order to assist her.  The pungent smell was both familiar and slightly rancid.  Cera nodded to herself.  This was obviously a scent left by urine.

Since the change, Chomper had been teaching them about the various smells that sharptooth focus on and what they mean.  Of these lessons, Chomper's lessons on smelling the urine and fecal scents of other species was the most disturbing to the new sharptooth.  Cera could chuckle at their naivetÈ back then, but at the time they had no frame of reference for focusing on such things.  Relieving oneself in the valley was something to be done in private and away from where others could easily smell the results.  The fact that dinosaurs outside of the valley did their business anywhere was one of those facts that formed a budding sense of arrogance in some of the valley residents.  However, as Chomper taught, such smells conveyed important information for those who were willing to investigate thoroughly.  The age, sex, species, condition, and intention of a dinosaur could all be indicated within their discarded waste.  Common latrine sites were like bulletin boards of information for sharpteeth and that was something that they exploited with ruthless efficiency.

She followed the urine trail and found the main site of the dinosaur's release.  She inhaled deeply and analyzed the smell more thoroughly.  No wonder why it is familiar!  This is from a fast biter!  She thought suddenly.  It is male, but it is not from one of our males...  Hmmm...  

Ducky sniffed the site as well and went wide eyed, obviously reaching the same conclusion.

Cera sniffed again and went through her memories.  She had only smelled the scent of a few other fast biters since her transformation: Screech, Thud, and...  Taunt!  This is Taunt's scent!  What is he doing in our territory?  The scent was only a few hours old, but that was enough time for him and the rest of his pack to be anywhere in the lowlands.  The scent gave away little in terms of personal information.  The emotional state and intentions of Taunt were ambiguous with the exception of a small amount of agitation.  Cera would have to tell the others of this information.  New competition was not a welcome development in their new home.  Easily attainable food was already becoming scarcer.  

"It's Taunt."  She stated simply to Ducky, who was in the process of smelling the same site that Cera had inspected.  "I can't tell much more than that."

Ducky wrinkled her nose for a moment, before taking on a slightly more mischievous expression.  Cera's opinion of Taunt was well known amongst the pack, as Cera had ranted about him for many moments after their brief encounter.  Undoubtedly, Cera was cross over the fact that she couldn't read much from his scent.  Keeping that in mind, Ducky spoke in a joking manner.  "So his urine is as annoying as he is, huh?"  Ducky attempted to keep her facial expression neutral in order to get as much of a rise out of Cera as possible.  However, Ducky couldn't hold back her emotions and quickly began to laugh at her own teasing.

Cera sighed in an annoyed fashion, but couldn't hide the humor from her face.  "Yes.  I wouldn't doubt that every part of him is annoying."  She took on a more serious expression.  "Now come on.  Let's find and tell Petrie so that he can tell the others."

The two exchanged nods and then ran in the direction where Petrie told them he would be scouting.

......

"Don't be so slow Strut!  You don't want the leaf-eaters to catch us, do you?"

A tan Struthiomimus rose from the grass after berating his brother for his lackluster performance.  How were they supposed to catch longneck eggs if they weren't even as fast as those lumbering giants?  His brother may have been willing to feast upon leaves as the leaf-eaters did, but he had more dignity.  Only eggs would satisfy his appetite.  

"Oh come on, Ozzy!"  His brother whined.  "We have been trying to get eggs all day.  There is plenty of grass here..."

Strut generally went along with his brother's desire to hunt eggs, but he had little patience anymore for his fixation on only eating eggs.  After their nearly fatal encounter in the Great Valley so long ago, he had finally stuck up for himself and told Ozzy that he would eat leaves whenever he got hungry.  Ozzy was not pleased, but after their misadventure in the valley he could hardly fault his brother's choice.  As a consequence, Strut's whining was more of a result of annoyance than hunger.  Due to his selective diet, only Ozzy was especially hungry.

In fact he was nearly starving.

"Fine!  Go eat your green food!  I will find eggs like a true egg-stealer!"  Ozzy yelled, before finally storming off towards the longneck herd.  He was in no mood to hear his brother's objections right now.  If need be, he would find eggs on his own.

Strut observed the retreat of his brother's agitated form from view and sighed.  He wouldn't let his brother risk his life out of his foolish pride and unique sense of dignity.  He did hope, however, that he realized that his hunger was of his own making.  One could not afford to be selective in the Mysterious Beyond.

"Fine, Ozzy!  I'm coming!"  He then proceeded to run in his brother's direction in an attempt to catch up.  

The two might have been more careful if they realized who else was in the vicinity.

......

"You know, Littlefoot?"  Chomper mentioned to the brown fast biter.  "Never mind how many times we do this; I am still amazed that we are hunting together."

The two were in the process of scouting around the watering hole for possible prey.  As this was a scouting run in an open area, stealth wasn't actually a requirement.  They had simply kept their distance from the herds and made observations.  This gave them an opportunity to chat as they did their work.

Littlefoot was observing two small swimmer children drink from the water as their parents looked on.  If only they would get a bit further away from the water...  Littlefoot lamented.  Swimmer children were very well protected if they stayed near the water, as they had a route of escape, but elsewhere they stood little chance.  Herds in the Mysterious Beyond were wise about such things, however, so such a mistake was unlikely.  Noted that Chomper had spoken to him, Littlefoot responded after a moment, while not taking his eyes off of his quarry.

"I know, Chomper..."  Littlefoot muttered.  "I know you're glad to have us around, whereas before..."  Whereas before you would have eventually had to leave. He finished in his head.  "And I find this quite fun..."  He stopped for a moment as the dark implications of that admission hit him.  "But it is still hard on us, you know?  We never asked for this."  Or did we? A thought in his head mocked.  You did wish for the power to get rid of Red Claw.  Now you may have it!

"I know, Littlefoot."  Chomper affirmed.  "But I am glad that all of you can stay my friends."

Littlefoot smiled, finally taking his eyes off of the swimmers who obviously were staying put.  "Same here, buddy.  Same here."

The two looked at the swimmers for a few more moments before realizing that there were no prospects here.

"Well, let's check out the longnecks.  We're not going to find anything here."  Littlefoot instructed.

"Yeah.  Let's go."  Chomper affirmed.

Little did they know that their paths would soon intersect with a couple of old acquaintances.

......

"Run!"  Ozzy called out in a panic, as he held the egg in his claws.  His stealthy approach into the longneck's nest had not been as masterful as he supposed, and now an angry sauropod was hot on his heels.  

"Ahh!!!"  Strut was right behind his brother in sprinting away from the thundering footsteps of doom.  The longneck had five eggs in the nest and they had grabbed one egg each.  Unfortunately, a single step on the vegetation comprising the nest was enough to make a loud crunch that alerted the resting mother.  Both brother's had been guilty of being sloppy on this excursion.  Now they were paying the price.

They were running towards the watering hole with all of their might, but each knew that they wouldn't be fast enough.  The longneck was simply too fast.  They would have to cut their losses before it was too late.

"Drop it and run!"  Ozzy cried.

Strut did not need any more prompting and each egg-stealer dropped their recently acquired booty.  The longneck continued to give chase for a moment, but stopped when she realized that her eggs were again planted on firm ground.  She gave a final angry roar at the retreating menace, before engaging in the slow, laborious process of nudging her eggs all of the way back to the nest.

The egg-stealers, meanwhile, struggled to catch their breath after the panic-filled flight from the longneck.  Not only had they nearly been killed in their incompetent attempt, but they lost dinner as well.  Now Ozzy was not only hungry, but angry as well.  All of his efforts from the previous day had been in vain.

Ozzy grunted in anger.  "Oh, you numbskull!  Because of you we lost the eggs!"

"Because of me?!"  Strut was surprised by Ozzy's accusation.  "You were the one who..."  But he never got the chance to finish his thought.

"Yes, because of you!"  Ozzy's angry confirmation echoed across the grassy fields.  "We were so close to dinner... But you had to be clumsy!"

Strut looked nonplused for a moment, but then took on an angrier expression.  He had put up with Ozzy's temperament for long enough, but since their stint in the Great Valley long ago, even Strut had developed a limit to his patience.  And Ozzy had just crossed that limit.  "Now look, Ozzy!  You made noise too!"

The argument continued for some time as the two egg-stealers released their disappointment and anger over the day's events in their brotherly dispute.  They may have ignored the outside world in their sibling argument, but other listeners were not so dimwitted.

......

"Hey, what do you know?  Egg-stealers!"  Littlefoot hissed in Chomper's direction.  "We haven't seen one of these yet."

Chomper nodded.  "Something seems familiar about these two..."

They listen for a bit longer at the squabbled between the siblings.  In the process, they snuck closer and closer to the potential prey, using the tall grass as effective cover.  It also helped that the two egg-stealers were focused on their disagreement and little else.

"Me?  Judgmental?  Ha!"  Ozzy bellowed.  "You just can't admit your error."

Strut snorted.  "Ozzy...  Be reasonable!"

Littlefoot's eyes went wide and he immediately looked towards his purple companion.  The knowing look in Chomper's eyes confirmed that Chomper recognized these two as well.  These were the same egg-stealers that had attempted to dispose of the two dinosaurs back when Chomper had first hatched.  These were the same dinosaurs that Chomper's mother and father had chased from the valley.  These were the same two threats from so long ago.

And they were all theirs.

Littlefoot smiled a malicious smile and then gestured with his head at the two egg-stealers.

Chomper saw Littlefoot's overt gesture and gave an enthusiastic nod.  Chomper could finally finish what his mommy and daddy could not.  He wasn't particularly hungry, having eaten the day before, but he salivated all the same.  Today he hungered for the settling of an old score that had been formed during his infancy.  He would not miss the opportunity.  Now their old hunters would be the hunted.

The two dinosaurs then stealthily advanced on the hapless duo.  They were utterly unaware of the advancing danger...


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


CeraTheRed

  • Member+
  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 611
    • View Profile
AGH! At first I was excited cause you brought Ozzy and Strut into the story....but now THEY might get killed off too?! Geez! And, sadly, you made it BELIEVABLE! Seriously, this is getting really addicting now.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Quote from: CeraTheRed,Apr 18 2014 on  08:01 PM
AGH! At first I was excited cause you brought Ozzy and Strut into the story....but now THEY might get killed off too?! Geez! And, sadly, you made it BELIEVABLE! Seriously, this is getting really addicting now.
Thanks for the response.  :)

Yeah, Chomper and Littlefoot certainly remember this duo and what they put them through during their brief entry into the valley.  However, it is true that the egg-stealers were just trying to find food back then and the kids were interrupting their attempts.  Can they (as sharpteeth) really condemn egg-stealers for doing what they have to in order to survive?  It will be interesting to see if they have that epiphany soon or not.  If not, then the egg-stealer duo might be in trouble.

Either way, I can promise you that the fate of the egg-stealers will be revealed in the next chapter.  Likewise, we will also see the appearance of a few other familiar faces.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


CeraTheRed

  • Member+
  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 611
    • View Profile
Quote from: rhombus,Apr 19 2014 on  07:37 PM
Quote from: CeraTheRed,Apr 18 2014 on  08:01 PM
AGH! At first I was excited cause you brought Ozzy and Strut into the story....but now THEY might get killed off too?! Geez! And, sadly, you made it BELIEVABLE! Seriously, this is getting really addicting now.
Thanks for the response.  :)

Yeah, Chomper and Littlefoot certainly remember this duo and what they put them through during their brief entry into the valley.  However, it is true that the egg-stealers were just trying to find food back then and the kids were interrupting their attempts.  Can they (as sharpteeth) really condemn egg-stealers for doing what they have to in order to survive?  It will be interesting to see if they have that epiphany soon or not.  If not, then the egg-stealer duo might be in trouble.

Either way, I can promise you that the fate of the egg-stealers will be revealed in the next chapter.  Likewise, we will also see the appearance of a few other familiar faces.  :yes
Agh, very well. I'll wait, and accept what you choose, but I hope you decide NOT to kill them off. I'm REALLY excited for the continuation of the story now! The final decision on the next part will be yours, though, as I have said, but I'm gonna be nervous about it til I find out after you post the next chapter. Also, you're welcome. You really DO have a lot of talent.


Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
You begin with some introspective views on Spike, Ducky and Chomper, I see. Don't think there's much to say about it as you should know that I like those parts :lol Otherwise I would state what bugs me, yes I would.

The debate regarding the gang's hunting plans is very interesting and funny since the process of thoughts of Chomper, Spike, Ruby and Littlefoot is quite interesting and not exactly what one would expect from former leafeaters :yes Wonder which herd will be of particular interest for them...
Ah, I was already wondering when the teaching of leafeater would become important in the story... I don't doubt that being aware of it will be helpful during a hunt but will they maybe regret it? After all, they can hear them scream, curse, beg etc... :yes

The rather introspective scene with Petrie seeking for suitable food sources is written nicely too. You caught the way Petrie would most likely think in his comments pretty well I think :smile I really wonder what the gang is going to decide on as for what kind of dinosaur to hunt... tough decision, that's for sure. And Petrie has discovered a flyer? Interesting ;)

Well, Petrie has a very great idea... killing baby flyers. Quite a strong move of him if you ask me :) And, of course, you haven't missed to make that clear. Good job! Let's hunt!

The hunt is amazing! So exciting, so stirring, so dramatic... For a short moment I thought Petrie might not make it but I had in mind that there was a pack of Sharpteeth who could intervene (or why else would Petrie fly low? Damn, now I have the image of that judge crash against that rock during "Flip, Flap & Fly in my head :DD). And Superducky comes to the help... The poor soul... I didn't think she'd be having her first kill that early compared to the others...

I have noticed for quite a while now that you use a wide variation of words and phrases :yes That's good; keep writing so well, rhombus!

Just a few typos and insignificant bugs: ;)

Quote
I don't want to kill! Oh no, no, no!
Since this is Ducky thinking here, it should be "do not" rather than "don't".
Quote
This made one thought stand out in the small sharptooth's mind.

The poor leaf-eaters won't stand a chance.
I'm not sure how you meant this... One interpretation of mine (the unlikelier one) is that you are stating that for Petrie... but I rather think that you simply used the singular instead of the plural form of the word "Sharptooth" here on accident :smile If that is the case, it has to flow like this: "... in the small sharpteeth's minds (I guess).
Quote
Even though it was flying suspiciously low, she was not too terrible concerned about this development.
Terribly concerned...
Quote
Putting the flyer out of her mind for a moment, she examined scene around her a bit more carefully.
She examined *the* scene...
Inactive, probably forever.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Thank you very much for the feedback.  :) I have made the corrections that you have indicated.

Quote
The debate regarding the gang's hunting plans is very interesting and funny since the process of thoughts of Chomper, Spike, Ruby and Littlefoot is quite interesting and not exactly what one would expect from former leafeaters

Indeed.  Although only two of the leaf-eaters have now killed (Littlefoot and, later in this chapter, Ducky) they have begun to adapt mentally with their place in the world.  The fact that they have become desensitized to killing ground fuzzies and the gore that comes with that has probably helped to begin to think in a more sharptooth-like way.

Quote
The hunt is amazing! So exciting, so stirring, so dramatic... For a short moment I thought Petrie might not make it but I had in mind that there was a pack of Sharpteeth who could intervene (or why else would Petrie fly low? Damn, now I have the image of that judge crash against that rock during "Flip, Flap & Fly in my head  :DD ). And Superducky comes to the help... The poor soul... I didn't think she'd be having her first kill that early compared to the others...

Yeah...  Ducky caught a tough break here.  It is doubtful that anything besides overwhelming hunger or the defense of her friends would push her into actually being the one to make the kill.  However, that is exactly what happened here.  Much of the dialogue in the next chapter deals with the repercussions of Ducky's actions and her struggle to make peace with them.  :yes

It seems that the rush towards final exams may cause me to be a bit late in posting the next chapter.  However, assuming I can find time to finish chapter 28 (I always try to be two chapters ahead of what I post) then the next chapter should be posted some time on Wednesday.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Nahla

  • Member+
  • Cera
  • *
    • Posts: 3628
    • View Profile
I already reviewed this on FF.net but I feel the need to comment here too.

(Not real review though sorry just random comment this time xD)


Ozzy and Strut once again enter my life,they never been my my top characters,then again most fics I read Ozzy and Strut kill someone,mainly Littlefoot. And it one I read they..actually I am not gonna mention what they did to Littlefoot in that one as it still gives me nightmares.

This has inspired me for a fic idea,it's different but kinda the same (yeah you guys are  like 'Nahla that makes no darn sense woman!').

Leafeaters,that are carnivorous,I mean they are actual leafeaters (not change to sharpteeth like in this fic) but carnivorous,it won't be the gang as the carnivorous ones,they will be the poor targets...man I get weird ideas in my head. No idea how I can make that work but I'll figure it out one year while it sits on my list on fic ideas I decided to do but never actually gonna do.


You're a great author rhombus,I love the detail you put into the story. I love the plot,how you have the characters slowly change instead of suddenly being these predators they kill everything as some other authors might have them.

Kinda curious if when and if they do get back to their leafeater states if they will remember their sharptooth life or if those memories will die as they return to leafeater,like will they remember hunting,killing and eating other creatures?  Time will tell I guess.

Great fics going on around here,and my fic is like..level amateur writer xD. Oh well we all start somewhere right? I'll improve and hopefully one day will write an awesome fic too. I shall not give up,I'll move up in writing skills.

Keep it up,I look forward to the next chapter.

Oh look...Nahla is done rambling.



rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Thank you for the feedback, Nahla  :) I am glad to hear that you are now following this story.  :yes

Quote
Ozzy and Strut once again enter my life,they never been my my top characters,then again most fics I read Ozzy and Strut kill someone,mainly Littlefoot. And it one I read they..actually I am not gonna mention what they did to Littlefoot in that one as it still gives me nightmares.

Ozzy and Strut were never my favorite characters, but I have become more fond of them in the process of writing them into the story.  It seems that in the process of trying to understand the characters better (or at least my interpretation of them) that I have become a bit more empathetic to their situation.  With regards to that fanfic that gives you nightmares, I think that I know the one that you are talking about and, if so, then I think that you will agree that whoever wrote that story serious needs some help.  Needless to say, Strut and Ozzy are not like that in this story.  They are simply the two somewhat amateurish egg-stealers that we know from the second film.

Quote
Leafeaters,that are carnivorous,I mean they are actual leafeaters (not change to sharpteeth like in this fic) but carnivorous,it won't be the gang as the carnivorous ones,they will be the poor targets...man I get weird ideas in my head. No idea how I can make that work but I'll figure it out one year while it sits on my list on fic ideas I decided to do but never actually gonna do.

Do you mean kind of like a zombie plotline?  Where some of the valley's leaf-eaters begin to have an insatiable hunger for meat?  I actually considered going a similar route for this story initially, where they slowly changed into sharpteeth while residing in the valley - but the mental and digestive changes happened before the overt physical ones.  Eventually I decided on my current idea, but I am considering (after this story is done in about 8 months or so) perhaps revisiting the whole "change into sharpteeth" idea and going a different route.  :yes

Quote
You're a great author rhombus,I love the detail you put into the story. I love the plot,how you have the characters slowly change instead of suddenly being these predators they kill everything as some other authors might have them.

Thank you very much for the kind words.  :) I definitely wanted to show the gradual change and the resulting emotional turmoil that the gang goes through.  In fact, that is really the main focus of the story.  How we are not really the same people from day to day, but rather we are constantly changing.  What matters is continuity - what essential aspects of ourselves we retain through these critical junctures in life.  If we can find out what those are and retain them, then we can truly remain ourselves despite the constant change.

Quote
Great fics going on around here,and my fic is like..level amateur writer xD. Oh well we all start somewhere right? I'll improve and hopefully one day will write an awesome fic too. I shall not give up,I'll move up in writing skills.

My advice would be to never give up.  I remember the few ficlets and poems I wrote back when I was in High School and they were certainly not quality work, in my opinion.  It was only through several years of practice in writing (scientific papers mainly) and copious amounts of reading that I obtained a better command of my writing and was able to write in a manner that was not as clunky and haphazard as my earlier works.  I have no doubts that you will see improvement as well as you continue to write.  :yes

Quote
Keep it up,I look forward to the next chapter.

Glad to hear it. The next chapter should be posted some time tonight.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
I'm happy seeing that Ducky is adapting to being considered a killer by definition :) Petrie, Littlefoot and especially Spike are doing the right thing by consoling Ducky (and later retreating in case of Littlefoot and Petrie).

The teams that have been build the next day are not quite ones we would expect... Well, except for Littlefoot/Chomper perhaps...
Among all the things that Ducky and Cera speak about, the most interesting topic is one that we humans don't find enticing at all :lol This is the first time that such a topic is mentioned in a fanfiction I read and it is darn well placed here :p Being creatures that rely on smell more than on anything else, it is only natural that they can gain information about the creature that left the stuff. And Taunt is in the vicinity? Somehow, I don't have a good feeling when I think about this :p

Oh, is this the chapter of familiar dinosaurs (re)appearing? Ozzy and Strut :smile Only, what purpose do you have in giving them a shot?
 
Littlefoot is realising that they may have been changed for a reason :idea I can also picture that Chomper is quite happy about the situation :)

Go Strut, kick Ozzy's butt!!! :D I love how you keep indicating that they're in grave trouble... That makes me so looking forward to reading chapter 26! AND I finally caught up, hehe.

Cool chapter :yes Keep it up!


Quote
The next day seem to come too quickly for the young sharpteeth.
Seemed.
Quote
The two looked then looked at the swimmers for a few more moments before realizing that there were no prospects here.
Here, you messed something up. Too many "looked"s.
Inactive, probably forever.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Thanks for the review, Ducky  :) I have made the corrections that you noted.  It seems that it doesn't matter how many times I proofread, there will always be typos...

Quote
Among all the things that Ducky and Cera speak about, the most interesting topic is one that we humans don't find enticing at all dino_laugh.gif This is the first time that such a topic is mentioned in a fanfiction I read and it is darn well placed here dino_tongue.gif Being creatures that rely on smell more than on anything else, it is only natural that they can gain information about the creature that left the stuff. And Taunt is in the vicinity? Somehow, I don't have a good feeling when I think about this dino_tongue.gif

Exactly.  :yes I wanted to capture how actual sharpteeth with their improved sense of smell would view the world and gather information.  This also works in forcing the reader outside of their comfort zone (we are so used to relating to our world as another human would) and makes them relate to the world in an alien way.  The children are now so changed by their experiences that it is doubtful that they could ever truly communicate how they see the world to an outsider.  The chasm between themselves and the world that they used to know has grown ever more wide.

Quote
Go Strut, kick Ozzy's butt!!! biggrin.gif I love how you keep indicating that they're in grave trouble... That makes me so looking forward to reading chapter 26! AND I finally caught up, hehe.

I am glad to hear that you are looking forward to it.  :) Yeah, it seems that there are quite a few people waiting to see what happens to Ozzy and Strut if my fanfiction.net PMs are any indication.  :smile About a third of them want me to save them, a third wants me to kill them off, and the remainder wanted me to tell them what happened because they didn't want to wait five days.  I did not expect that sort of response when I introduced the egg-stealer duo. :blink:  Oh well, they will have to wait another hour or so for me to post the chapter in order to see what happens.  :p

Quote
Cool chapter in-yes.gif Keep it up!

Thanks.  :)


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Fanfiction.net link:  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9990125/27/The-Seven-Hunters

 Chapter 26   An egg-regious plan

“I’ve got a sizeable retirement nest egg. It’s an ostrich egg, and it’s going to make an omelet so big that it’ll produce enough leftovers for decades.
”
― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.



"Uh... Ozzy?"

Strut attempted to interrupt his brother's tirade as he looked in horror at something behind him.  Ozzy, however, was too deep into his argument to pick up on the signs of his brother's distress.

"Why you!"  Ozzy raged.  "You are not getting out of this..."

Strut began to step backwards as the figures grew closer to the two egg-stealers.  Now realizing that his eyes were not deceiving him, Strut decided to become more forceful in his reaction.  He jumped up and pointed at the advancing threat.

"Sharpteeth!"

Ozzy was stunned for a moment, before finally registering what his brother was talking about.  Quickly glancing behind him, he tried to look at what his sibling had seen.

Only to see a fast biter and sharptooth rapidly sprinting straight at him.

"Run!!!"  He yelled in an uncontrolled panic.

With the two sharpteeth fast on their heels, both egg-stealers began to run for their lives.

The hunt was on.

......

I can't believe that we are going to do this!

Taunt was traveling with the rest of his pack through the lowlands.  Due to the nature of what they had planned, they did not wander in the open, but rather were sneaking towards their destination.  If the other pack knew of their actions then undoubtedly a battle would ensue.  They had to be very careful here.

"Down!"

Every member of the pack then crashed to the ground at their leader's warning.  Hopefully the tall grass would hide them from any prying eyes.  But what could have spooked the leader?

Suddenly a flash of tan went by as two sharpteeth followed close behind.  The sounds of panicked yells and thundering feet greeted the pack as the dinosaurs went passed.  It was a curious sight, with two juvenile sharpteeth chasing two full-grown egg-stealers across the grassy fields.  They must have either found two especially fearful egg-stealers, or else caught them by surprise.  Either way, it appeared that two of the members of the rival pack were preoccupied with a hunt.

That will make our job easier. Taunt observed.

The leader of Taunt's pack, a greenish-blue male, rose as he saw the dinosaurs sprint past.  They were too preoccupied with their hunt to pay his pack any notice.  Smiling, he gave the order to resume their mission.

"Let's go!"  He hissed.

Taunt arose from his crotched position.  His orange hide and black stripes standing out vividly against the tall grass.  He noticed the others arise as well.  After a few short moments, everyone was again ready to go.  Being uncertain about how to proceed, he looked to the pack leader.

"Hurry up!  We need to find their territory before they come back!"  He affirmed to the pack.

Without further debate or discussion, the pack advanced through the underbrush.  Taunt walked slowly behind his fellow fast biters as he slowly took stock of their situation.  Although he understood the necessity of what they were about to do, he was very uneasy about the potential consequences.  He was rather fond of the yellow fast biter that he had met of the other pack.  Likewise, he had to respect how they had apparently survived despite appearing utterly incompetent a little more than a month prior.  

Perhaps they are a pack of orphans? Taunt reflected.  That would explain why they are so young and inexperienced. Fast biters of their kind often went off to form their own packs as soon as they gained some experience in hunting.  This was not due to poor parenting, or a lack of familiar love, but rather due to differences in survival needs between younger and older fast biters.  Juveniles obviously had to focus their hunts on smaller prey and young dinosaurs, whereas adult fast biters often went after entire herds in order to bring down the occasional weak or sick dinosaur.  Likewise, a juvenile fast biter would be a hindrance to a large pack of adults in their hunts, whereas an adult fast biter would only attract unwanted attention to a relatively vulnerable pack of juveniles.  Hence, upon the fulfillment of their third joint hunt a fast biter would traditionally leave their parents and seek out others of their age group.  It was simply the way that it was.

Taunt had followed that same journey during his childhood, which he supposed was not truly over.  He had been raised by his loving mother and by his attentive father during a rather joyous and caring childhood.  He had been taught the old sharptooth tales, the sacred songs of the fast biters of his lineage, and the basics of hunting and survival.  Although he started out as an especially clumsy and awkward infant, his parents had showered him with love and understanding as the years went by.  It was during these formative years that he developed his wit and rather caustic sense of humor.  He had first learned to laugh at himself before he turned his wit upon others.  It was a trait and coping mechanism that had served him well.

But then the time came when he had to depart from his loving parents.  It was a day that he remembered well...

......

Several seasons ago in the Mysterious Beyond:

He was not named Taunt back then, as he had not yet earned his pack name.  He was simply named Firehide.

"You've done well, son!"  Thud's voice echoed through the narrow canyon.

They had just killed an adult threehorn that had been separated from her herd.  The threehorn had appeared somewhat fatigued and confused during the fight, which probably indicated why her companions had abandoned her.  Threehorns, as Firehide had figured out from his father, despised weakness and would often expel members who could no longer serve the herd.  This was usually a death sentence for the threehorn concerned and a guaranteed meal for the lucky sharpteeth who found them.

"Thanks dad!"  Firehide's voice responded.

Firehide was elated to hear his father's praise.  Despite the fact that this was now his third successful hunt with his parents, he still was haunted by his unsuccessful attempts during his younger years.  As a late hatchling he actually needed help emerging from his egg.  Under normal circumstances an infant who was too weak to escape from his egg would be left to die, but his parents were desperate for a child after so many seasons of trying that his mother decided to break with tradition.  In the years that followed, he was so awkward and weak that he often couldn't chase down the smallest of prey.  He remembered a rather tragic conversation with his parents during a time when food was scarce.

I am sorry, Crimson, but I couldn't find anything today.

Seriously dear!  We will surely starve at this rate.  We need food, Thud!

I know... I know...  How is Firehide holding up?

He is still sick as usual...  I don't know how much more of this he can take.  He was already so weak even before the food went away...

It is okay, mommy...

Firehide?  Go back to the nest, dear.  You need time to recover...

If you two can't find enough food, then go ahead without me...  I am holding you back and I don't want you to starve.

Don't ever say that, Firehide!

Dad...?

Don't ever say that.  One way or another, we will get through this together.  I will never leave you behind!


His father seemed to notice his son's sudden melancholy and suspected that he knew the cause.  "You have certainly become a skilled fast biter."  He then clasped his clawed paw on his son's shoulder.  "Don't reflect too much on the past.  What is done is done."

Firehide stopped for a moment and took his father's words in for a moment.  "Thanks, dad.  It is just kind of hard to not think about it, you know?"

At this point his mother got into the conversation.  A tan fast biter with reddish highlights on her arms and legs, she was a striking presence.  "Of course, dear.  But you got through those times.  We all did."

After a few moments of the small fast biter family exchanging nuzzles, they settled down to their hard-earned meal.  After many moments of gorging themselves on the fresh kill, Thud looked at Crimson with a sad smile.  She paused for a moment before sadly nodding.  They were prepared to get to the important task at hand.

"Firehide, you have made your third joint hunt with us."  He said these words with a sense of formality that really did not fit in with Thud's usual demeanor.  He continued with a more heartfelt tone.  "You know what that means.  Don't you, son?"

Firehide gulped at the realization of what his father was getting at.  He had passed his three tests of courage, as the fast biter songs had often called them.  He was now ready to move on to the next stage of life.  A stage apart from his parents.

"Yes, father.  Yes I do."  Firehide nodded gravely at this statement.  He was unsure how he was supposed to go about leaving the nest, but he knew that he would be expected to go about it soon.

Crimson and Thud both nodded at Firehide 's understanding.  

"But how am I..."  Firehide was unsure how to ask the question that was on his mind.  "How do I join a pack of my own?"

Thud smiled mischievously at his son for a moment, before giving his a facetious answer.  "Well, you could always walk up to a pack and beat up the strongest member."  Firehide looked at his father with an annoyed expression.  "That way you can lead your own pack from the very beginning!"

"Dad..."  Firehide protested at his teasing.  Crimson, meanwhile, was suppressing a chuckle.  Even though Firehide was now certainly strong and agile enough to enter the juvenile stage of life, he was not a particularly strong specimen.  Most certainly not strong enough to assume leadership of a pack by force.  She decided to interject before Thud could get in another joke.

"Typically you can simply ask a pack to let you join.  You remember the summoning call, do you not?"

Firehide groaned and then nodded.  Of course he did.  It had taken him and his father hours to get him to make the appropriate calls and gestures as that custom demanded.

"Well..."  She continued.  "If you call them nicely and present food as proof of your competence, then they should give you a chance to join."  She then smiled at seeing Firehide's relief.  "Many small packs would welcome a good hunter, son.  I am sure that you have nothing to worry about."

Thud smiled as well and gave his son one last piece of advice.  "After tonight, son, you will no longer be part of our pack, but you will still be family."  In other words, you are still loved but you cannot stay with us anymore.  "If you ever need advice, you are always welcome to find us again.  Just remember your place, my son."  In other words, you are to enter our territory as a stranger, although you are family.  Do not expect to stay or hunt here unless you bring food as an offering to us.

"I understand, father."  He then looked over to his mother, who was suppressing emotion to the best of her ability.  "Mother."  Firehide tried to suppress the tears than now threatened to emerge from his eyes.  The lessons from his parents on how to control oneself not being forgotten by the small fast biter.  "I will never forget you."

Thud blinked.  Did Firehide see some moisture in his eyes?  "Nor will I forget you, son.  But I have a feeling that we will see one another again.  Remember that we will always be here for you."

......

Back to the present:

Taunt shuddered at the memory.  About two seasons later, he had heard from an acquaintance in another pack that his mother had died at the feet of a threehorn and that his father and uncle had sworn an alliance with Red Claw.  Then his own father had helped to attack his own pack!  So much for always being here for me!  Taunt observed grimly.

"Taunt!"  A soft hiss emanated from one of his pack mates, a swift gray female named Breeze.

"Huh?"  Thud has lost track of what he was doing.  He had simply been following the others while allowing his mind to wander to other things.

She smiled at his confused expression.  "Focus on what we are doing, will ya?  I guess we need to rename you Sky Puffy!"

Taunt looked at her with an annoyed expression, before making an obscene gesture at her with the claws on his right foot.

Breeze chuckled softly at Taunt, as she had gotten a rise out of her counterpart.  They had not started on the best of terms, but over the seasons they had gotten used to their peculiarities.  Normally a fast biter who raised his foot and then pointed his sickle claw in a downward expression would be inviting a fight.  That gesture indicated that the other dinosaur was too stupid to even raise their claws while running and hence was slow both in mind and body.  A grave insult to any fast biter.  However, coming from Taunt, one simply learned to take that gesture as his way of responding to ridicule.  As a consequence, she settled with simply taking a bow as Taunt rolled his eyes at her response.

"Knock it off you two!"  The leader hissed in the direction of the two friends.  "We are almost there!"

With that, the pack continued their journey towards the rival pack's territory.

......

"Me no understand.  How can Taunt be here?"

Cera nodded at the small flyers difficulty in understanding this new development.  She could hardly believe that they had to deal with that pack again, either.

"All I can tell you is that we smelled him."  She placed emphasis on the "we" as there was little chance of two fast biters coming to the wrong conclusion on the same smell. "...And if Taunt is here then his pack must not be far behind."  She let those words come slowly as she wanted to make sure that their implications set in amongst the assembled pack.  They might have quite a problem.  It all depended on the intentions of the pack.

"Oh my!"  Ruby was the first to respond.  "If Taunt's pack is here then they might not want us here!"  Taunt's pack appeared to be diplomatic enough, based upon what they had experienced during Cera’s first encounter with Taunt when they had inadvertently entered into the territory of his herd.  But now Taunt’s herd were the invaders...  That changed things.

Spike too was trying to process the possibilities that now faced them.  "What do you think they will do next?  They weren't exactly happy to see us when we stumbled into their territory."

"I don't know..."  Cera admitted.  "But I don't think they want competition."

"But we were here first!  Yep, yep, yep!"  Ducky protested.

"That may be so, Ducky.  But I don't know if they care about fairness or not."  Spike cautioned.  "What if we end up hunting the same dinosaur?"

Cera sighed.  "Let's find Littlefoot and Chomper."  She suggested.  "We need to find out what to do with our new 'guests'."

The pack then set off to find the two dinosaurs.  Then they would attend to the rival pack.

......

"Here we are!"  The leader beamed at finding the other pack's sleeping area to be unoccupied.  Luck was certainly shining upon them today.  "Now let's make our presence known!"

The rival pack had apparently made their home in a small cave that seemed to arise out of nowhere in the sea of green grass that covered nearly the entirety of the lowlands.  The repeated floods and annual dry seasons had caused weathering of the rocky substrate underneath the rich soil.  As a result, crevices often appeared in rather unexpected places, which lead to the deep understructure of interlocking caves.  Even though flooding would undoubtedly be a concern in such a home, it would provide ample protection against the elements and any herbivores seeking revenge.  The leader of the rival pack obviously wasn't a fool.

Skytail rose to his full height as his bluish-green hide seemed to shine like a gem in the dark crevice they currently found themselves in.  This small cave brought back many old memories for the juvenile fast biter.  As the others began to scout out the area, he took advantage of the lull in activity to contemplate the rush of memories that now confronted him.

He had been the leader of the pack for four seasons now.  It had all started with him and Breeze as a pack of two, when they were both expelled from their family.  He had befriended Breeze during his childhood ever since she had saved him from a rockslide that had nearly sent him to an early grave.  When her family was killed during a hunting mishap, his family was more than willing to adopt the gray fast biter who had saved their son's life.  They had both made a vow to join together as pack mates in a cave much like this.  The cave that served as his family's nesting site.  As a result of her adoption into the family, they both completed their education under the tutorage of his parents and both fulfilled the tests of courage at the same time.  

Over time three other members had joined the pack.  The third member, Vigilant, had joined upon impressing the duo with her good observational skills.  Her offering upon requesting to join them was the promise to give them ten baby flyers without being attacked by the mother.  She accomplished this by learning the mother flyer's patterns flawlessly and slaying all of the babies in one swift and brutal attack while the mother was foraging for food.  The mother, after mourning the loss of her children bitterly, had left the nest that now only contained a reminder of her failure as a mother.  Then Vigilant had simply taken the corpses and offered it to the two fast biters.  Upon seeing such a skillful display by the brown fast biter, they had unanimously accepted her request to join the pack.

The fourth member was Scarflank.  Although his blue coloration and large scar made him stand out, his general demeanor was very reserved and introverted.  He had simply offered up a threehorn youngling as proof of his use to the pack and was quietly accepted.  He seemed to be very tight-lipped about his childhood and Skytail could only assume that it had not been a happy one.  Nonetheless it seemed that Scarflank was slowly beginning to break out of his shell and relate to the others in a normal way.  Skytail was glad to see that Scarflank had found a better family in the pack than he apparently had in his biological family.

The fifth, and as of yet final, member to join was Taunt.  Even if Skytail lived a hundred years, he swore that he would always remember how Taunt had made his request to join the pack.  It had started not long after Scarflank joined the pack...

......

Several seasons ago outside of the Lowlands:

"Get out of here, you runt!"  Breeze shouted at the odd fast biter.  "This is our catch now!"

The other fast biter looked at her with surprise.  His orange coloration and black striped made him look impressive on the surface, but his small size meant that he could easily be pushed around.  Breeze used this to the pack's advantage.

"I caught it fair and square!"

Roar!

The orange fast biter ran off in a headlong sprint at Breeze's roar.  Pathetic!  Breeze though to herself.  There is already a pack here, runt!  You had better find your own territory!"

......

"I am telling you, Skytail, someone stole my catch!"  

Breeze was absolutely livid.  She had severely injured a young fast runner, only to have it sprint away into the forest they currently found themselves.  The smell of blood permeated the scene of her attack and followed the trail that the dying dinosaur had traveled in her final mad sprint to get away from her killer.  As if that wasn't enough, the footprints of the hapless dinosaur were also easy for everyone to see.  Curiously, however, here was a site where the footprints stopped and the blood seemed to pool.  As if the dinosaur had died here.  However, the trail of blood then resumed into a nearby stream, but no footprints were present.  It was almost as if someone had dragged off the fast runner.

Skytail sighed.  "I don't suppose there is much we can do, Breeze."  He shook his head.  "The stream has a fast current and will disrupt any scent.  I am afraid that we will have to find something else."

Breeze roared in frustration before storming off.

......

"Breeze, wake up!"

Skytail's excited exclamation immediately woke the gray fast runner.  It was pitch black outside, what could possibly be going on at this late hour?

"What is it?"  She asked groggily.  

"Your fast runner!"  He said excitedly.  She immediately arose at the mention of her lost catch.  "Look!"

She quickly glanced at the area where he was gesturing and gawked at the sight of a decapitated fast runner.  It seemed that something had gotten its head, but had left the rest.  Her hunt hadn't been in vain after all.

"Wow!  Where did you guys find it?"  She asked with appreciation.

Skytail shook his head.  "It wasn't any of us.  It was left here by someone else..."

Breeze's expression turned dark.  Somebody had taken the time to capture one of her catches and then return it to her?  What was that suppose to mean?  Was this a threat?  A reprisal of some kind?  

With some unease, the pack laid back down to sleep.  They would investigate the matter in the morning.

......

A few days passed without anything out of the ordinary occurring.  But then the thief struck again.

"Who swiped our food?!"  

It was a most unusual occurrence to hear Scarflank speak at all.  Let alone yell out in anger.  Skytail took notice immediately.

"What happened, Scarflank?!"  He asked with some concern.

"Somebody has taken some of our catch!"  He then gestured with an agitated claw.  "See?  That entire leg was untouched last night and now it is mostly gone!"  Just as he had reported, the threehorn corpse was now missing most of a hind leg.

"It seems we have a thief..."  Breeze remarked.  "And I think that I know who it could be..."

"Oh."  Skytail spoke in a flat tone as he suspected that he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear.  "And who would that be?"

Breeze paused for a moment.  "There was this pathetic fast biter who I found the other day.  I had been tracking this longneck youngling for a while when he came out of nowhere and took it from me!"

Skytail looked unimpressed.  "Did you actually catch the dinosaur first, or did he?"

Breeze sighed.  She knew that he would not approve of what she had to say next, but she would answer truthfully all the same.  "He did."  She spoke reluctantly.  "But surely he found the dinosaur because of me!  I had been searching for so long and..."

Skytail cut her off.  "What did you do next?"

Breeze answered after a pause.  "Well I took the food, of course.  I was the one who found it first, after all."

Skytail sighed at that point and cupped his head into his paws for a moment.  He spoke without looking up.  "So you stole the food that he caught and you think that he now stealing from us.  Is that correct?"  The tone of his voice brokered no excuses or diversion.  He wanted a straight answer from his pack mate and friend.

Breeze looked down in shame.  "Yeah..."

Skytail nodded before continuing.  "The pack may threaten, Breeze, but you know better than to make enemies on your own.  When you make enemies you are also making the pack more enemies."

"I'm sorry."  She breathed out.  She knew that she had acted hastily and she had no one to blame but herself.

"Very well.  But we still have a thief to deal with."  Skytail answered.

There was a momentary pause as everyone digested the leader's words.  How were they going to deal with this new threat?

"Oh?  And how do you plan on doing that?"

Everyone looked up at the new voice.  It had come from an orange fast biter with striking stripes.  It was their thief.

"There he is!  Let's show him who is in control here!"  Breeze raged.

Skytail waved a hand in a dismissive gesture.  "Let's see what he has to say first."  He then took a step forward and locked eyes with the culprit.  "You certainly have some gall to steal from a pack such as ours.  What do you expect to accomplish?"

The stranger responded almost immediately.  "I expect to make a point."

Skytail laughed at this.  "Well, you have certainly done that.  Now leave us in peace, will you.  You wouldn't want to incur our wrath, little one."

"No."  The stranger answered.  "No, I don't think I would want that."  Skytail relaxed at that affirmation as it appeared that a violent confrontation was becoming less likely.  "I would much prefer to join your pack."

This time, the entire pack burst out into laughter.  The stranger looked annoyed at this display, but then seemed to take on a cheeky demeanor.  This stranger certainly was bold.

"Join our pack?!"  Skytail answered, trying desperately to regain some semblance of composure.  "You have stolen from us twice and you insult us with your words!  What offering could you possibly offer us to prove your worth?"

The fast biter responded with a flourish of his forelimbs.  "Have I not already showed you my worth?  I have shown you how quick and quiet I am by stealing from you while you slept."

Breeze growled at this, but Skytail seemed thoughtful.

"Very well."  Skytail began, which made the others look at him with distress.  Surely he couldn't be thinking about rewarding him for his misdeeds.  "A swift and quick dinosaur could be useful.  If he is willing to serve a pack more than he is willing to serve himself."  He took another step forward as he again locked eyes with the mysterious stranger.  "Give me two flyer eggs and the heart of a threehorn and I will let you join the pack."

"You can't be serious!"  The stranger protested.

Skytail smiled.  "Oh but I am.  I want you to promise us that you will either complete this challenge and join us, or fail and leave us alone.  Do you agree or not?"

The stranger looked down.  "I give you my vow."

Good.  Skytail thought to himself.  The fool has agreed to my difficult challenge.  After he fails then he will no longer be our problem. He then had a final passing thought.  And if somehow he succeeds then he would be a good addition, provided that none of us eventually kill the annoying runt.

"Good.  You have until the bright circle appears tomorrow."

......

The pack then congregated around the threehorn as Skytail gave some final instructions.  

"I don't care how good he is.  He may be able to find the flyer eggs in time, but he won't be able to get near the threehorn younglings while they are protected by their herds at night."  Skytail affirmed.  "But we need to be vigilant.  He could try to take the heart out of your friend here, for example."  He gestured towards the threehorn corpse as he mentioned this.

"Well, then why don't we take the heart out?"  Vigilant inquired.  "Then he would have to catch and kill a threehorn on his own?"

"Yes."  Breeze began.  "And why did you give him a chance to begin with?"

Skytail sighed.  "He had a legitimate grievance against us and he did make a request to join our pack."  He then looked sternly at Breeze.  "As you know, Breeze, a request to join a herd requires the offering of a truce and a challenge.  If we attacked him then we would be acting like rogues and if I didn't offer him a reasonable challenge in order to prove his worth then I would be showing cowardice."  He then looked at the others.  "And I am not going to make his challenge be fighting one of you for a place in the pack."  That was a standard practice for some packs, but it often led to a brutal and fearful existence for those who were at the bottom of the dominance hierarchy.  "I value each of you too much to risk you like that, even though you are a pain sometimes."

Breeze nodded sadly.  She was being unreasonable, she realized, but that other dinosaur simply made her so mad.  She was certain that was a common occurrence when he was involved.

"Now come on... We need to organize shifts in order to watch the threehorn and be ready to accept his offering if he gets them."  He looked at each of his companions.  "I will hold first watch; all of you need to choose when you will take over."

......

"Hey!"

Breeze turned as she could see the annoying stranger come into view.  Surely he hadn't achieved the challenge that Skytail had decreed?  She approached cautiously.

The stranger dropped two small flyer eggs to the ground.

"I have done the first part of the challenge."  He affirmed.  "Now it is time for the next part..."

Breeze smiled a sarcastic smile.  "Good luck!"  She knew that he didn't have a chance.

......

Scratch... Scratch... Scratch...

What is that?  Scarflank pondered.  He decided to investigate.

Looking around at the threehorn, he noticed nothing out of the ordinary.  The original wounds all remained on the corpse, with only the small insects incurring further bites into the flesh of the dinosaur.  Taking a look at the chest region, he noticed that it was still intact.  The heart was safe.

However, it will soon rot. He lamented.  Perhaps I should eat a little while I still have a chance.

As he began to rip into the flesh, he didn't notice the scratching continue unabated.

......

"Well, the bright circle is about to rise!  It looks like our guest didn't make the cut."  Breeze noted happily, she then added with fake disappointment.  "What a shame."

Skytail gave a sardonic expression to Breeze.  It looked like that he had kept his side of the agreement, now it was time for the stranger to keep his.

Scratch... Scratch... Scratch...

"What the heck is that?!"  Skytail exclaimed.

Splat!

In an explosion of viscera and gore, the stranger came gushing out of the chest cavity of the threehorn.  The severed heart was clutched in his claws.  Neither of the pack members could believe what they had just seen.  The newcomer had just secured the last part of Skytail's challenge.  But how did he escape the notice of the rest of the pack?

The newcomer seemed to foresee the question of the amazed sharpteeth and gave a quick explanation.  "None of you were watching the top of the threehorn!  I climbed to the top and dug down."

"You ate your way through the dinosaur?"  Skytail could clearly see the bright circle now shining through the gaping hole in the threehorn's chest.  Despite what his eyes were seeing, however, he was still having trouble to accept the reality of what was in front of him.

The newcomer smiled a cheeky smile.  You shall be Taunt.  Skytail thought to himself. I don't care who you are or where you came from, but your very nature seems to taunt everyone.

"Welcome to the pack, newcomer.  Let's go find some prey so that we can give you a proper name."  Even though the newcomer's pack name had already been determined, Skytail had to go through the proper tradition.  "And stay away from Breeze...  I can protect you from most threats, but I am not sure about her..."

Breeze snorted as she moved aside to allow the newcomer to join into their circle.  

Little did he know at the time, but Firehide would be renamed Taunt on that very night.  The rest was history.

......

Back to the present:

"Skytail?"

Skytail shook his head and refocused at the task at hand.  Come on, Skytail, you're not a child anymore!  Focus! He put aside his reminiscing about the past and realized that they were in the process of scouting the rival pack's shelter.  That meant that he needed to make sure that they found what they were looking for.

"Did you find their sleeping areas?"  Skytail asked suddenly.

Vigilant nodded.  

"Good!"  Skytail smiled.  "Let's get to work!"

......

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the lowlands:

The two egg-stealers were running for their lives through the nearly blinding torrent of tall grass that lay in front of them.  They were quickly beginning to tire as the fast biters had been chasing them for the better part of an hour from the watering hole towards the large field of grass that made up a majority of the lowlands.  The sharpteeth could still track them easily by scent, but the egg-stealers only had their eyes as a guide, which were effectively useless due to the high grass.  These soon became apparent when Strut tripped over a root.

"Ah!"  Strut screamed as he fell to the ground with a loud crash.  All of his forward progress was stopped as he heard the sharpteeth rapidly approach.  He whimpered.  It looked like this was the end of him.

"Strut?!"  Ozzy cried.  He knew that if he left now then he would surely escape, but his brother would not be so lucky.  Never! Ozzy thought to himself. I won't let anything happen to my brother!  With a fearful cry, he turned around and began to sprint towards his brother.  He could already hear the loud crashing as the fast biters were tearing through the grass in order to catch up with the duo.  Ozzy fully realized that by taking this action he was probably condemning himself to die.  After a few terrifying moments he caught up to his sibling and grabbed his arm.

"Come on, Strut!  We have to get moving!"  He yelled as he pulled.

"Ah!"  Strut cried.  "I... I think it's busted, Ozzy!"

Ozzy looked at his brother with a panicked expression.  This couldn't be happening!  What could he do?

Strut looked at his brother with a sad expression.  Ozzy wouldn't quit, but Strut knew that this was his brother’s only chance for survival.  "Ozzy, run!"

Ozzy looked at Strut with an uncomprehending expression.  "I am not leaving you, Strut!  Now get up!"  He pulled again and got Strut to his feet, but Strut soon fell over again...  If Strut's leg wasn't broken then it was surely badly sprained.  It would take days to heal... and they only had mere moments.

"I'm sorry, Ozzy."  Was all that Strut could say.

Suppressing a sob, Ozzy now realized that there was nothing more that he could do for his brother.  He quickly rose and prepared to leave while he still could.  As he turned back to the direction in which he had been running, however, he could see the brown fast biter in a crotched position.  Quickly turning to the other direction, he noticed the purple sharptooth taking the same stance.  It looked like his luck had run out.  Surprisingly, some part of Ozzy was comfortable with this.  They were together for all of their adult lives; it was only fitting that they would be together in death as well.  He was simply sorry to see it end this way.

Wait a moment!  He thought to himself.  These are rather young sharpteeth!  Maybe I can fight them off?  It was a long shot, but it was better than waiting here for the sharpteeth to devour them.  He then got between himself and the purple sharptooth and got his paws up in a defensive position.  The purple sharptooth looked at him with an odd expression.  Why does this sharptooth seem familiar? Ozzy questioned himself.

"So you can care about someone other than yourself!"  The purple sharptooth mocked.  "I guess I was unworthy of that, huh?"

Realization dawned on Ozzy.  Can this be?  Is that the same sharptooth that we hounded in the valley? It had been so long ago.  He had long forgotten about the incident until reminded of it today.  Apparently when you are the one threatened with destruction, you are less prone to forget...  Ozzy now realized why this sharptooth had chased him down.  It wasn't about hunger.  It was about revenge.  He now knew for sure that he was going to die.

Ozzy spoke with a fearful stutter.  "Just let my brother go...  It is me that you want, right?"  Despite his often hostile demeanor and bitter disagreements with his brother, he always had his best interest at heart.  He realized now that it was his mistake from so long ago that had gotten them into this mess.  He resolved to get his brother out of it at the very least.

Strut protested at this.  "Ozzy... Don't!"

Ozzy reacted angrily at his interruption, although his heart wasn't really into it.  "Oh shut up, Strut!"  Upon seeing Strut on the verge of tears he added, most uncharacteristically for him.  "...Please."  The sadness and desperation in that one word communicated volumes to everyone in the vicinity.  Ozzy knew that this was probably the end.  In the event that the sharpteeth accepted his offer, he didn't want his brother's last memory of him to be one of anger.  

This appeared to give the sharptooth some pause.  He actually seemed quite uncertain of what to do.  He growled at his brown companion, he emitted a series of hisses and screeches back.  The purple sharptooth seemed angry for a moment as he gave a rather loud roar back at his pack mate, but after another round of hisses the sharptooth seemed mollified somewhat.  The purple sharptooth then gave Ozzy a rather toothy smile.

"My leader would like to talk with you...  Don't make him angry..."

Ozzy gulped, as he turned towards the brown fast biter.  He wondered what a fast biter could have done to impress a two-footer enough to call him 'leader'.  Ozzy suspected that he didn't want to know the answer to that question.

"You wronged us, Ozzy..."  Ozzy immediately wondered how the fast biter knew his name.  Duh, he probably heard your brother calling your name. Some part of his mind deduced.  "You tried to kill my enemy..."  There was now a flurry of hissing again between the sharpteeth.  "Um... sorry... You tried to kill my friend and I don't take kindly to that."

Ozzy was now absolutely petrified.  Good. Littlefoot affirmed.  That will make it easier to get them to do what we want.  Assuming that I don't butcher the leaf-eater language again!  He though while reflected on his misspoken word from a moment before.  It still amazed him how unintuitive leaf-eater now seemed to his predatory mind.

"You two would feed my pack for maybe two or three days... Assuming Spike limited himself, of course."  Ozzy could hear the purple sharptooth chuckle as the brown fast biter continued to speak.  Neither of the egg-stealers felt like laughing.  "But eggs could keep us fed for quite a long time..."

Ozzy decided to inquire about what the fast biter had in mind.  "You want us to gather eggs?"

Littlefoot smiled.  "Exactly.  And if you do what you are told you will be alive and full... But if you attempt to cheat us, we know your scent now..."

Ozzy nodded as he knew that he had no choice in the matter.  "We will do whatever you say!"

"Good!"  Littlefoot beamed.  "As you know, the herd of longnecks has had several eggs laid, but they are well protected.  My pack can provide a diversion, if you can gather the eggs for us..."

Ozzy nodded.  "Ok.. Okay...  but my brother is really injured...  He..."

"We noticed."  Littlefoot spoke flatly, which immediately shut Ozzy up.  "We will not do this for a few days."  He then looked up in the sky for a few moments, as if he were checking something.  "The next night where the night circle does not appear, you will meet us here.  Then we will make our move."

Ozzy and Strut both gulped at Littlefoot's imperious tone.  They had been given an offer that they couldn't refuse.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


CeraTheRed

  • Member+
  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 611
    • View Profile
I was so sure you'd kill Ozzy and Strut off, but, so far, you haven't. You have my deepest gratitude on this. I'll admit I was refreshing like mad after you announced you'd post the next chapter soon. I'm really, REALLY looking forward to what happens next. Also love the newest look into Sharptooth society. I like how you portray them. Nice to see them as intelligent.


Nahla

  • Member+
  • Cera
  • *
    • Posts: 3628
    • View Profile
Fast biter Littlefoot scares me for some reason xD,I don't know guess I just don't see Littlefoot as a willing killer,then again I never saw him a fast biter either..

Another great chapter,curious about how Littlefoot's egg plan will work out. And what he does with Ozzy and Strut after the plan is completed,does he keep them around or else,that kinda of thing.

I found it amusing when Littlefoot messed up the leaf eater language

"You tried to kill my enemy!" then it like "I meant you tried to kill my FRIEND....." (yeah I know thats not what it really says,but thats pretty much what it was like to me).

I love how detailed and long all your chapters are,I personally do not have the patience to do that,though I guess I could try in the next chapter of Descendants,though way I have the story planned the later chapters will be detailed as it as,with backstories/flashes of the times where the mountain herd was just formed,figured out people like detail so I'll give people detail.

How long does each chapter take you anyway? They are quite long (compared to most  fics I read,one fic I read had 3 lines a chapter..yeah I got bored fast xD) seems like they would take you a while,then again it's better in the end to take time and put length,time and detail into chapters instead of rushing one that leaves people going 'what hell did I just read?....',been there,done that trust me.

Look forward to the next chapter,no matter how long it takes. The wait makes it more exciting and worth it.

Man I talk too much...


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
@ CeraTheRed:

Quote
I was so sure you'd kill Ozzy and Strut off, but, so far, you haven't. You have my deepest gratitude on this. I'll admit I was refreshing like mad after you announced you'd post the next chapter soon. I'm really, REALLY looking forward to what happens next. 

I am glad that you enjoyed the outcome of the chase.  It seems that Ozzy and Strut are polarizing characters in the LBT community.  :smile Now their survival will depend on their ability to provide the eggs that Littlefoot demands.  It will be interesting to see how that develops.

Quote
Also love the newest look into Sharptooth society. I like how you portray them. Nice to see them as intelligent.

Thanks.  :) I wanted to show a realistic portrayal of carnivores in this story, as they are often more intelligent than their herbivore counterparts.  One of the advantages of eating meat, a ready supply of protein.  :DD With that higher level of intelligence comes the development of more complicated social structures and instincts.  This is something that I will be returning to as the story continues.

@ Nahla:

Quote
Fast biter Littlefoot scares me for some reason xD,I don't know guess I just don't see Littlefoot as a willing killer,then again I never saw him a fast biter either..

Yeah...  The instincts for dominance have really taken their hold on Littlefoot.  He is still the loving and understanding dinosaur that we know and love, but now he is tempered by other drives that he sometimes does not understand.  The fact that his best source of information on these topics is Chomper, who is a sharptooth obviously and is prone to not see these changes as a bad thing, does not really contribute to him reeling in his instincts.  Hence the more imperious way he has been acting with his friends and allies.  This will become an issue a little bit later on.

Quote
How long does each chapter take you anyway? They are quite long (compared to most fics I read,one fic I read had 3 lines a chapter..yeah I got bored fast xD) seems like they would take you a while,then again it's better in the end to take time and put length,time and detail into chapters instead of rushing one that leaves people going 'what hell did I just read?....',been there,done that trust me.

Generally I will write one average chapter (~6000 words) in one day, but it will usually take me the whole day in order to do so.  For that reason, I only typically work on my fanfic during my days off from work.  When I began this story I had a plot synopsis set up that provided a basic plan for the major story arcs, although I have deviated from that synopsis somewhat.  From that I will usually pick out a quote to suit the theme of each chapter and then I will write out a title for each scene, which will be replaced with the scene itself as I start writing.  This helps me to get into the general mood of each chapter and to plan out the general flow of each chapter.  I want the pacing to be natural, neither dragging or feeling overly rushed.  After that, I will read the previous two chapters so that I am further engaged into the story and the characters, and prepared to begin the next chapter in such a way as it flows nicely with the ending of the previous chapter.  Only then do I actually begin writing the chapter itself.

Quote
Look forward to the next chapter,no matter how long it takes. The wait makes it more exciting and worth it.

Thanks.  :) You won't have to wait very long, however.  I usually post a chapter every 5-6 days.

Quote
Man I talk too much...

Nah, I don't think that you talk too much.  I greatly appreciate your descriptive and insightful feedback on my story.  :yes In my line of work, it is far better for a student to give me a long description which allows me to understand their line of thinking, than for them to give me too little information.

@ Nahla and CeraTheRed:

Thanks for the reviews, guys.  :) The next chapter should be posted by Monday.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


CeraTheRed

  • Member+
  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 611
    • View Profile
You are welcome. You are very talented at writing, and I can agree with you. The sharptooth in 5 was pretty smart, after all. And Chomper is shown to have learned leaf-eater by being raised by them, so I do think sharpteeth are intelligent too, just driven by predator instincts at times. It makes things more interesting. And it also makes sense, as sharpteeth eat a LOT of meat..well, the ADULTS do, anyway. Juveniles, too, probably.


Zimba

  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 766
    • View Profile
Ok it about time I left you a deserved review,after all. Only fair since I gave Horse Lady (or Nahla as she so refers herself) a review.


This story constantly has be on the edge-what will happen next? Now questions are in my head,if/when they return to leaf eater state,will they have to learn to become leaf eaters again after having to survive on killing and eating meat for there meals? Will it just come right back to them?

I admire your writing skills,you make the hunting detailed but not so detailed I feel like I'm watching a documentary on Animal Planet.


I love the quotes you have at the start of the chapters,even know until I read this fic I never heard of 99.9% of them. Zimmy here lives in a shoebox you see...

I've been following this since the start,it just took me this long to get to commenting
 :lol.

I totally rate this fic 5/5 even though it ain't even complete.

Great detail
Great chapter length


Keep it,GOFs most loved parallelogram.  :smile


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Thank you very much for the review, Zimba.  :) The lingering questions that you have while reading this story:

Quote
This story constantly has be on the edge-what will happen next? Now questions are in my head,if/when they return to leaf eater state,will they have to learn to become leaf eaters again after having to survive on killing and eating meat for there meals? Will it just come right back to them?

Are exactly the sort of questions that I want the reader to ask. :yes  I want my readers to relate one of  the general premises of this story (people changing so much that they are almost unrecognizable to their loved ones) to actual real-world examples of this trope, like soldiers coming back from a war, survivors coming back from a survival situation, etc.  Often enough, we only see the experiences of such people through the prism of our own experiences as opposed to trying to trying to see it from their perspective.  

Quote
I totally rate this fic 5/5 even though it ain't even complete.

Great detail
Great chapter length


Keep it,GOFs most loved parallelogram.

Thank you very much.  :) I will try to have the next chapter posted on Monday or Tuesday.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
Keep your ears and eyes open, Ozzy! :DD

The presence of Taunt's pack is worrysome :unsure: They sure are up to no good...

Taunts backstory comes quite unexpected... a story that proves that patienceis all you need to earn skills and get stronger :) And again we are learning more about Fastbiter traditions. Well done!
And who is the leader?

Ducky hasn't lost her sense of fairness, it seems :smile

Ah, we learn more details about the pack, and we learn more details about Taunt's abilities. Quite a thief, he is :lol

Littlefoot offers Ozzy a very interesting deal: Eggs or death. Now they not only have to feed themselves (which proves to be very tricky because Ozzy is "ridiculously picky" :p) I wonder how Ozzy is gonna do that with his brother injured and his tummy empty. Will he finally eat some green stuff? :lol Well, at any case, his deep love for his brother shows that he isn't as mean as he appears to be... At least he loves his brother even though they're often fighting. :yes

This story sure gets the attention it deserves :smile Keep surprising us, will you? :wow

Quote
Hopefully the tall grass would hide them from any prying eyes.
I think you meant "preying" here.
Quote
It was a curious sight, with two juvenile sharpteeth chasing two full-gown egg-stealers across the grassy fields
full-grown...
Quote
Taunt arose from his crotched position. His orange hide and black stripes standing out vividly against the tall grass. He notices the others arise as well. After a few short moments, everyone is again ready to go. Being uncertain about how to proceed, he looks to the pack leader.
Change in time? I don't think you did that on purpose :p
Quote
Thud shuddered at the memory.
Thud?  :crazy You are talking about Taunt here :P:
Quote
"Now come on... We need to organized shifts in order to watch the threehorn and be ready to accept his offering if he gets them." He looked at each of his companions. "I will hold first watch; all of you need to choose when you will take over."
organize... without "d"
Inactive, probably forever.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6858
    • View Profile
Urgh...  The typos... :bang

Thanks for the corrections, Ducky.  With the exception of "prying eyes", which is an expression roughly equivalent to "spying eyes", I have made the indicated corrections.  :yes  

Quote
The presence of Taunt's pack is worrysome  :unsure: They sure are up to no good...

Exactly.  :exactly In the next chapter we will see what they are up to, and what the consequences will be for the pack.

Quote
Taunts backstory comes quite unexpected... a story that proves that patienceis all you need to earn skills and get stronger  :)

Yeah, I based Taunt's backstory on how some comedians and actors overcome adversity in life.  In many cases they build up a humorous demeanor in order to make light of the hardships that they may have faced during their childhood, and in order to find the social approval that may have been lacking earlier in their lives.  In Taunt's case his hardship was being too weak to hatch out of his shell (I guess this would be a raptor equivalent of being born premature) and as a result he had to use his other talents in order to make up for his lack of strength.  Although Taunt's personality is quite different from my own, I used my own childhood as a kind of template for his early development.

Quote
Littlefoot offers Ozzy a very interesting deal: Eggs or death. Now they not only have to feed themselves (which proves to be very tricky because Ozzy is "ridiculously picky"  :p I wonder how Ozzy is gonna do that with his brother injured and his tummy empty. Will he finally eat some green stuff?  :lol Well, at any case, his deep love for his brother shows that he isn't as mean as he appears to be... At least he loves his brother even though they're often fighting.  :yes

I am glad that you like my portrayal of them.  I always felt that their was brotherly love there despite the antagonism between the two.

Quote
This story sure gets the attention it deserves  :smile Keep surprising us, will you? :wow

I will do my best.  I think that there will be a few more surprises right around the corner.:yes

Thanks for the review.  :) I plan on working on chapter 29 tomorrow (I try to stay two chapters ahead) so hopefully I will have chapter 27 posted on Monday.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.