Funniest Quotes You've Heard

f-22 "raptor" ace · **Reply #100 on:** October 13, 2008, 07:50:32 PM

Yo buddy you still alive?

f-22 "raptor" ace · **Reply #101 on:** October 14, 2008, 11:49:11 PM

Red VS Blue Reconstruction *Spoilers*
sarge:How do we turn this alarm off maybe it's one of those clap things *claps hands and alarm turns off* There we go.

Over and Under · **Reply #102 on:** October 21, 2008, 05:27:33 PM

Toad:When i get my hands on that king koopa i'll fix his wagon
luigi:hey wats the matter with king koopas wagon?is it broken

Super Mario Bros. Super Show!

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #103 on:** October 22, 2008, 11:45:12 AM

Red vs Blue: First!

Sarge: And whatever happened to the numbers on the Hatch? It's like they're making up all this as they go along-

Caboose: Excuse me, I am new here; and there are things I don't understand about how this place works.

Sarge: Wow, a new user... THAT'S GREAT! We'd be happy to show you the ropes!

Lopez: (In Spanish) I love new users. I always enjoy seeing fresh perspectives on the things we love to talk about.

Sarge: Welcome new...best friend.

Over and Under · **Reply #104 on:** November 26, 2008, 01:18:26 PM

Peach: Don't you ever think about anything other than food?
Mario: What else is there?
Mouser: BRAIN SURGURY! lol Super Mario Bros. Super Show!

Over and Under · **Reply #105 on:** November 26, 2008, 01:22:19 PM

2 half wits and a princess
luigi: hey, i resemble that Super Mario Bros. Super Show!

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #106 on:** November 26, 2008, 10:01:55 PM

Family Guy

Stewie: Alright Brian, I'm gonna go up to the upper level and run this wire down through the wall. Grab your walkie, I'll call you when I get there.

Brian: Okay.
*Stewie grabs his walkie and walks off screen*

Stewie (over walkie): Brian, pick up; over.

Brian: What?

Stewie: Brian, please say "over" when you are finished talking; over.

Brian: *Sighs* What? Over.

Stewie: Do you see the wire yet? Over.

Brian: No.

Stewie: ..."No" what? Over.

Brian: No. Over.

Stewie: Okay I'm gonna start feeding it through; over.

Brian: Wait, if you haven't started feeding it why did you ask me if I could see it?

Stewie: Didn't copy that; over.

Brian: I said, "if you haven't started feeding it why did you ask me if I could see it?" Over.

Stewie: Oh that's better, I can hear you now; over. Do you see it yet? Over.

Brian: You know? You're a jackass. For the record, I don't wanna hang out with you when this is over.

Stewie: When this is what Brian? Over.

Brian: I said I don't wanna hang out with you when this is over.

Stewie: "When this is" what? You gotta finish your sentence. Over.

Brian: That's it! My sentence is over.

Stewie: Your sentence is what Brian? Over.

Brian: My sentence is- Wait a minute, I have to say "over" even when the sentence ends with the word "over"?

Stewie: "Ends with the word" what Brian? Over.

*The wire comes down from the top of the screen*

Brian: Oh, I see the wire.

Stewie: You see the wire what Brian? Over.

*Brian tugs down on the wire*

Brian: OVER!!!

*Stewie falls face down onto the floor*

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #107 on:** December 02, 2008, 01:03:08 PM

Liar Liar:

*After Fletcher and Miranda had a good time*

Miranda: "That was wonderful. What did you think?"

Fletcher: "I've had better."

Down Periscope:

*Pascoe's the Executive Officer, and Buckman's the cook*

Pascoe: "Buckman! There was a fingernail in my food, you fat-a** moron! Yesterday, there was a Band-Aid!"

Buckman: "Sorry, sir. The Band-Aid was holding the fingernail on it."

Pascoe: "What else do you put in your sauces, Buckman?!"

Buckman: "It's an old family recipe, sir." *Begins to spray cooking spray on the floor to and on the ladder behind Pascoe's back*

Pascoe: "Oh my gosh! There's cockroaches in the flour! Your cigar ashes in the spaghetti! Geez, Buckman! This can's been on the Stingray since Korea! This can expired in 1966!"

Buckman (takes a taste): "What's the matter, sir? It still tastes like creamed corn."

Pascoe: "Except, it's DEVILED HAM!"

Buckman: "That'll be a problem, sir."

Pascoe: "The captain's gonna hear about this!" *slips and falls as he storms off, gets up, and turns and points at Buckman* "Nobody saw that!"

Buckman (after he shakes his head): "You outta be more careful, sir. Remember, when you rush, that's when accidents happen."

Pascoe: "Shut up, Buckman!" *goes to climb stairs, only to slip and knock his chin on every step before hitting the floor. Buckman puts his cigar back in his mouth and cocks his eyebrows*

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #108 on:** December 02, 2008, 02:50:24 PM

Red vs Blue

Simmons: This patrol was seventeen seconds late. Who's runnin' this place? How inefficient. Sloppy...

Sarge: I'm bored outta my gourd.

Grif: So what? Bored is good. Bored means we're not dying. Boredom I can deal with. I have years of practice.

Caboose: Yes! Grif talked, I won, I won the who can be the quietest game again.

Grif: Yeah, good job. That's ten in a row for you Caboose. Hey, you know what? We should play again. Best eleven out of twenty-one.

Caboose: Yes. You're all going down.

Simmons: Heh. We should try holding our breath next.

Sarge: Well that's it. I can't stand just sittin' around. I'm goin' mad with anticipation.

Simmons: We've only been here twelve minutes.

Sarge: Are you sure? My mission clock says three days.

Simmons: *sigh* That's because you wouldn't synchronize at the start of the mission, remember? I said we should synchronize, and you said "Why would we synchronize? It's like we're in the future, seeing what the enemy does before they do it. Why would we give up the advantage?"

Sarge: Come on, Simmons, who could possibly remember an annoying conversation we had three whole days ago?

Simmons: Twelve minutes ago.

Sarge: Grif, what's your clock say?

Grif: Um, actually mine's a countdown to the next episode of Battlestar Galactica. Priorities dude.

Caboose: Ah- ah- I just won again! Man, you guys are really bad at this game! It's- it's like you're not even playing at all!

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #109 on:** January 29, 2009, 01:35:09 AM

The Lion King, when the hyenas have Simba, Nala and Zazu surrounded:

Zazu: "Ah! Look at the sun! It's time to go!"

Shenzi: "Wait, wait, wait. We'de LOVE for you to stick around for dinner!"

Banzai: "Yeah! We could have whatever's 'lion' around!"

Shenzi: "Hey hey hey! I've got one! I've got one! Make mine a CUB sandwich! Whatdya think, Ed?!"

Ed: *Jibber-Jabber*

Shenzi: "What, Ed?!"

Banzai: "Hey! Did we order this dinner to go?"

Shenzi: "No, why?"

Banzai: "'Cuz there it GOES!"

I like this one that came later on:

Shenzi: "There ain't no way I'm going in here! What ya want me to come out looking like you, cactusbutt?!"

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #110 on:** January 29, 2009, 01:31:40 PM

Achievement Hunter Video: Geoff wins

Geoff: Space Chimps is... torturous. The developers were sadistic. You should not make a kids game that unforgiving.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itTSAgLQIXQ

PS: Way to go Geoff. Great game to finish the bet with! (Left 4 Dead)

Chomper · **Reply #111 on:** February 07, 2009, 09:07:15 PM

The Dark Knight
Batman: let her go
Joker: *lets go of rachels hand and lets her fall* Poor choice of words.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #112 on:** February 09, 2009, 03:08:05 PM

Left 4 Dead

Francis: I hate hospitals. I hate elevators. I hate stairs... and doctors and lawyers and cops-

Bill: Francis, is there anything you don't hate?

Francis: You wanna know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #113 on:** March 03, 2009, 09:23:24 PM

Red vs Blue: Relocated

Sarge: ...Oh and uh, Grif, one more thing: You may would want to sit down.

Grif: I can't sit; I think both of my knee caps are shattered. (From falling off of the base)

Sarge: Oh, well in that case; Simmons, you'd better be prepared to catch him. He'll probably faint when I tell him that his sister is dead.

Grif: My sister is dead?!

Sarge: Oh, you already know. Good, I was worried about how to break the news to you. That could have been awkward.

Grif: No way. Not true.

Sarge: Lopez told us himself.

Grif: Yeah right.

Simmons: You don't believe it?

Grif: I'll tell you what: You produce a corpse, I'll believe it.

Simmons: Huh?

Grif: Listen; Once when we were kids, we went ice skating and she fell through the ice. She was under there for three hours. And when they pulled her out, not only was she still alive; she was pregnant ( :blink: ). If you can explain that to me, I'll believe you that she's dead.

812558 · **Reply #114 on:** March 03, 2009, 10:45:31 PM

at the end of terminator 2

T-100: I need a vacation

f-22 "raptor" ace · **Reply #115 on:** March 03, 2009, 11:06:27 PM

Here's some funny AC5 quotes

Osean G: "This is not a drill."
Osean 3rd Fleet: "Oh, thanks for the heads up you idiot!"

Lt. Col. Ford: I trust you can hold the runway until we arrive?
Blaze: No.
Lt. Col. Ford: That's an order! We'll be in danger if we don't land! You WILL obey!!

Patrol Car Charlie 11: Baker 7, I'm going to attack [the military helicopters] myself!
Patrol Car Baker 7: Hey Charlie 11, what's that you got in the back seat?!
Patrol Car Charlie 11: That's my anti-tank rifle! I brought it with me from home!

AC6

Avalanche: "I'm a little too red in the face to go home yet."
AWACS Ghost Eye: "Roger that, Avalanche! We'll just report that you were gunned down and missing in action."
Shamrock: [laughing] That's pretty harsh, Ghost Eye."

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #116 on:** March 04, 2009, 06:38:07 PM

Battlefield: Bad Company

US Army: Soldiers of B-Company, lay down your arms or we will take you by force.

Haggard: Yeah? Says you and what army?

Sweetwater: What?!

Haggard: I just always wanted to say that.

Sweetwater: Why?

Haggard: Sounds cool. Plus I shut them up.

Sarge: You shut up. Look around you.
*Helicopters surround them*

Haggard: That army. Say goodbye to the gold.

Sweetwater: So, I wonder what prison is gonna be like...

Haggard: I heard the food was good.

Sweetwater: I think the food is gonna be the least of my problems; I'm worried about the soap.

Haggard: Oh yeah; It's all squishy, you can't grab onto it-

Sarge: Will you two just shut up!

NaNaNa · **Reply #117 on:** March 06, 2009, 12:00:08 AM

This Is Spinal Tap:

Nigel: The numbers all go to eleven (pointing to amplifiers). Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven, and...

Marty: Oh I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel: Exactly

Marty: Does this mean its louder, is it any louder?

Nigel: Well it's one louder isn't it? Its not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty: I don't know

Nigel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push off the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty: Put it up to eleven

Nigel: Eleven, exactly, one louder

Marty: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Marty: (pause)...These go up to eleven

Dash The Longneck · **Reply #118 on:** March 06, 2009, 12:10:14 AM

101 Dalmatians The Series:

Cadpig: Rolly, feelings are like a table of pies , if you eat every single one eventually you're gonna puke. I'm asking you to share your pies before you toss your cookies.

Cadpig: No, look into my eyes you are terrified, you are scared out of your wits.

Cadpig: So how about those Mets?

Cadpig: I shant be clean.

Spartanguy88 · **Reply #119 on:** March 06, 2009, 02:08:53 PM

Battlefield Bad Company (I love this game)

Redford:...We have come to bring you in.

Haggard: Bring you in!

Serdar: Just you?

Haggard: Just us.

Serdar: Four puney military?

Haggard: Four puney military!

Sarge: DAMMIT HAGGARD!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Haggard: (Looking at golf cart) What are those? Some kind of Russian military type vehicle?

Sweetwater: Yeah, real cutting edge technology Gordon; dammit.

Haggard: Cool! 'Cause they kinda look like golf carts, Sweetwater.
---------------------------------------------------------
Haggard: Can I call you Preston by the way?

Sweetwater: Well can he call you Gordon?

Haggard: Hey! No one calls me Gordon!

Sweetwatar: How about Elizabeth?

Haggard: I'll take that.

Sweetwater: Liz?

Haggard: I'll accept Liz; but you better not call me it, or I will get very angry. And you wouldn't wanna see me angry Preston.