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The Land Before Time: Far Away Home

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Caustizer

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Part V: Reconciliation


Rain came to the land for the first time since its death from the sea.  Announced by the howling of the winds and the crashing of the waves on a distant shore, the torrent began to wash away the black soot that had covered everything and to purge the Steppes of the volcanic poisons that filled it.  Whether it was raining or not, it made little difference to Littlefoot as he pushed onwards towards whatever bleak hope existed beyond the horizon.  Like Ali and Petrie, the longneck was relentlessly hungry and as his stomach growled repeatedly he found it difficult to think about anything else.

It seemed like there was next to nothing here for them… no food, no water, no friends and no rest.  If things continued to remain the way they were the group of them would surely die, joining the bones of the other dead dinosaurs they passed along the way.  It was nearly getting to the point now where Littlefoot envied them… at least they had nothing more to worry about.  After nearly another hour of walking, Ali finally collapsed forcing the group to stop.

“I can’t keep going anymore Littlefoot,” moaned Ali, “I’m so tired…”

“Come on Ali,” insisted Littlefoot desperately as he nudged her, “we’re almost there… there’s green food just over the next ridge.”

“Littlefoot,” started the female longneck sadly, “we’ve been walking all day… there’s nothing but bones and dust everywhere.”

“Well we can’t give up,” declared Littlefoot with uncertainty as he turned towards Petrie on his back.

The flyer had arisen and was busy sniffing the air, holding his broken wing carefully so he couldn’t hurt it again.  He hopped excitedly as he picked up the scent of something important.

“What is it Petrie?” asked Littlefoot in curiosity.

“Green food, me smell green food!” answered Petrie with glee.

Ali immediately perked up, and sniffed the air as well.

“Hey… Littlefoot I smell it too!” she added.

With an expression of joy and relief on his face, Littlefoot did the same and confirmed that the scent was in fact a real one.

“Come on guys,” laughed Littlefoot, “let’s go eat.”

The green food that the three of them had sensed was a grove that laid on the edge of the zone of devastation.  It stood apart from the scorched rocky ground and drifts of volcanic ash as a place of recovery and peace.  Beyond this point, the steppes became less of a wasteland and more of a savannah-like collection of grassy fields that carried on all the way to the Lush Valley.  The denizens of this place had been lucky to escape the burning cloud of death, for it had passed close by before finally dispersing into the sea.  Littlefoot and the rest of the much reduced gang didn’t care about these facts though, as they were completely and fully concentrated on the grassy bushes and small trees that were right in front of them.

“Green food!” shouted Littlefoot excitedly, and his mouth began to water as he ran.

The two longnecks and the flyer spread out and picked away at whatever they wanted to eat.  As he chomped on a particularly strange tasting yet satisfying grass plant Littlefoot started to think about how much he missed the others they left behind.  He wished they could all be back together again… him, Cera, Ducky, Petrie and Spike… just like it used to be.  All the adventures they had came back to him… their unannounced trips away from their parents, the time the Great Valley caught fire, and the time Petrie’s uncle led them on that goose chase for the stone of cold fire.

Littlefoot sighed, and reached down his neck to pluck at some small prickly plants he had never seen before.  He and Cera fought sometimes, but she was his best friend and she always came through in the end.  He also couldn’t forget Ruby and Chomper though… they had come along with them more then once and he was starting to think of them as friends he and the others could count on.   Ruby in particular was quite responsible and smart and the two of them got along very well.  In short, the longneck decided he missed all of them.

“Littlefoot,” called out Petrie hesitantly.

The longneck raised his head and looked up at the flyer that had climbed halfway up one of the trees trying to get one of the fruits at the top.

“What is it Petrie?”

“Umm,” he mumbled with embarrassment, “me may need help getting down.”

“Sure,” affirmed Littlefoot, “I’ll-”

Littlefoot suddenly felt dizzy, like he had been running around in circles for a while.  He nodded his head, trying to shake it off… but the feeling wouldn’t go away.  Petrie looked at him in confusion.

“I just… I,” stammered Littlefoot.

The world was going dark, but it wasn’t because of the weather.  Littlefoot didn’t have time to register anything as he stumbled a few times, and then collapsed to the ground.

“Littlefoot,” hollered Petrie, “…LITTLEFOOT!”

Ali heard what was going on and rushed over, noticing Littlefoot lying on the ground.

“Petrie…what happened what’s wrong with Littlefoot?” she asked frantically.

“Me no know,” replied Petrie in panic, “we talking and then… then he fall!”

Ali bent over and nudged Littlefoot vigorously.

“Littlefoot… speak to me Littlefoot, are you okay?”

He didn’t answer.

“What do we do?” stammered Ali as she too began to panic.

After a moment of stressed silence, the female longneck came up with the only idea she could.

“Sky…” she said, “We have to find Sky!”

“Me can’t go,” sobbed Petrie, “me can’t fly.”

“I’ll go,” she declared shakily, “keep an eye on him until I get back.”

Without another word, the female longneck turned and ran as fast as she could.  Dodging the rocks on the rough ground, she disappeared over the hill in less than a minute.

“Please hurry!” begged Petrie, and he looked down at the unconscious Littlefoot with a dire expression.

He didn’t think to notice the bright purple juice oozing out of the plant that Littlefoot had just eaten.





Ducky looked up as her and Spike padded along the uneven black ground.  Sky soared above, sometimes flying on ahead before circling back over top of them.  He was watching their progress closely, and thanks to his guidance they were making good time.  The wingtail had spotted the end of the ash-choked wasteland and was taking them towards it, ushering them on with promises of green food and water.

The swimmer was somewhat distressed, as the previous days events still weighed on her mind.  She had never seen Littlefoot act that way before, and despite what happened to his father a part of her couldn’t help but think he was just taking out his troubles on Sky since there was no one else around to blame.  It was saddening, but she knew that he would eventually come around… after all he was their friend and they had nothing but each other this far away from home.

“I miss Littlefoot, I do,” threw out Ducky in an attempt to express her feelings on the matter to Spike.

Spike groaned and nodded, before turning and carrying on.

Ducky knew her brother better then anyone else did, and she could see that he had an aptitude for knowing how good or bad other dinosaurs were.  When Spike stood behind Sky, she did too because deep down she could tell he was trustworthy.  Sky may have done things they did not understand in the past, but he never lied and always led them in the right direction into safety.  Whatever reason the blue wingtail had for leaving them in the former Verdant Valley, Ducky believed he wanted for them to be safe.  Hopefully, it was simply bad fortune that things turned out otherwise…

“Grassland lies just over these next few hills,” commented Sky as he flew low over top of the swimmer and the spiketail, “a short flight and we will all be there.”

“Good… I am really hungry,” replied the swimmer before adding, “…and Spike is too.”

A loud growl from Spike’s stomach had triggered the last statement, and the spiketail groaned in hunger pains.

“Not to worry,” insisted Sky with a reassuring nod.

Sky had been caught in the tide of events for a few days now, but as the normal routine of constant travel came back the wingtail’s thoughts turned once more to his love a long distance away.  Recently, he had been wishing he and Star could be together in some far away home – away from the cruel leaders of the wingtails, the villainous sharpteeth, and the environmental catastrophes that had plagued his journey thus far. Now, he had started imagining a place where that might be.

His imaginary utopia was next to a lake teeming with fish, high up in the hills somewhere. Every morning when he woke up, the great circle’s light would bathe their roost and light up her scarlet feathers like a rainbow in the sky.  They would go fishing, and he could show off his skills in air, swooping and looping over the crystal clear water as an expression of his happiness and joy.  Then as twilight settled at night time, they would return to the roost just to sit and talk; romanticizing about when they first met and their adventures since then.  Maybe then… if he was lucky… they would…

Sky shook his head to wake up from the dream.  Unfortunately, the reality was that they were far apart and unlikely to even see each other again.  Her brother absolutely hated him, and wanted nothing less then to turn him into bones.  Glide would never agree to even let him live in peace… let alone consent to their mating to the elders.  Not to mention the elders still thought he was a criminal and a thief and would send their scions to hunt him to the end of the Earth.  No, Sky could no sooner live a dream like that then he could bring his parents back from the dead.

A strange movement caught the blue wingtail’s eye as he soared on the light wind.  It had started to rain lightly, and he sensed that soon he would have to go to the ground to escape the bad weather.  Looking closer at the object, he saw that it was in fact a young longneck and she was running erratically about as if she wasn’t sure where she was going.  It was Ali!

Sky turned sharply and dove towards the longneck, which saw him almost immediately.  As he came into earshot, the blue wingtail called out.

“Ali, where is –”

“Littlefoot,” said Ali as she caught her breath, “…he’s… in trouble.”

“Trouble?” asked Sky thoughtfully.

“He fell over… didn’t get up… need your help,” breathed Ali in distress.

Sky’s eyes widened.

“Where? Take me to him!”





Sky stood over Littlefoot, rubbing his chin in thought.  As Ali, Petrie, Ducky and Spike looked on the blue wingtail lowered his head close to check the longneck’s breathing, and snapped his fingers a few times to check for responsiveness.

“He’s still with us,” mentioned Sky to a few sighs of relief, “…but barely.  What was he doing when he collapsed?”

Ali looked towards Petrie, and nodded her head in his direction.

“Well,” started Petrie nervously, “me sitting up in tree… then we talking and he fall down.”

“Hmm,” thought Sky out loud, “… what was he eating?”

Petrie looked around, and then noticed the oozing purple plant that Littlefoot had taken a bite out of a few minutes ago. He lifted it up in both hands, and the flyer couldn’t hide his look of disgust.

“Bide-leaf!” declared the blue wingtail in shock, “Littlefoot has eaten poison.”

All around there were gasps, and expressions of panic.

“Children… I need you to look around for a three-leaf plant with a green stem and smooth edges,” explained Sky, “and do it quickly… there is no telling how much he ate and your haste will make the difference between life and death.”

In less than five minutes Ali, Ducky and Spike returned with mouth and armfuls of leaves of all different types that looked like Sky had described.  It had taken every ounce of his strength, but Spike managed not to eat the plants in his mouth.

“Alright.”

Sky sorted through the pile and came up with six leaves that were the kind he needed.  Separating them from the rest, he tilted Littlefoot’s head up and opened his mouth.  Holding up the leaves, the blue wingtail suddenly realized a problem.

“These leaves need to be chewed to get down his throat… and I don’t have any teeth.”

The wingtail turned around to face the children.

“Somebody is going to have to chew these for him, and then spit them into his mouth.”

There were multiple looks of disgust at the idea, but with Littlefoot’s life on the line they were willing to do anything to save him.

“Ali,” said Sky with regret, “you’re the only one who can do it… I don’t like asking this but under the circumstances…”

“I’ll do it,” said Ali without doubt, “put them in my mouth.”

Sky obeyed, and as the female longneck took in a bit of the terrible taste she nearly gagged.  Only the thought of what would happen to Littlefoot if she didn’t do it kept them in her mouth.

“Alright, that should be enough,” stated Sky.

The wingtail held Littlefoot’s mouth open, and Ali lowered her lips to his face.  Not wanting to see what happened next, Petrie, Ducky and Spike all closed their eyes and looked away.

“Good,” confirmed Sky as he shut Littlefoot’s mouth and rubbed his throat to make sure it all went down.

A minute passed, and then another minute.

“Why nothing happen?” asked Petrie in dreadful confusion.

“Oh Littlefoot,” sobbed Ducky.

Sky continued to stare at Littlefoot for a sign.

“He needs more treestars,” declared Ali, and she snapped up another mouthful of the antidote Sky had picked out.

A few seconds of chewing and she was ready to do it again.  Not waiting for Sky to fully open her friend’s mouth, she lowered her lips to Littlefoot once more.  The moment she spat the mixture into his mouth, Littlefoot opened his eyes.  As an event of bad timing, or simply bad luck he choked and spat out the mixture everywhere, completely covering Ali in spittle and half-chewed treestars.  Sky had jumped out of the way, and avoided the mess.

For almost an entire minute there was absolute silence as Littlefoot coughed and recomposed himself.  The longneck shook himself awake, and for the first time realized that he was on his back and covered in partially digested plants.  His turned his gaze towards Ali, who was standing with her mouth open in shock and disbelief.

“Wow,” commented Littlefoot as he looked up and down her body, “what happened to you?”

Sky was the first one to laugh at the situation, and once he started everyone else did too and soon the entire group was abuzz with relieved laughter as the seriousness of the situation evaporated.

Ali’s expression of surprise changed into one of anger.

“That’s not funny,” she said defensively as she tried to scrape off the mess with the pads of her feet.

“Oh Littlefoot, me so glad you safe,” cried Petrie as he jumped into the air and clamped onto the longneck’s nose.

“Hey Petrie,” commented Littlefoot happily, “it looks like you wing is all better.”

Petrie’s eyes widened at the mention of his broken wing.

“It fine… Me can fly again!”

The flyer took to the air, and in the process made space for the rest of the dinosaurs who mobbed Littlefoot in their joy at his recovery.  Ducky hugged him while Ali leaned forward and licked his cheek.  Through the entire episode, the longneck had no idea what was going on or why they were hugging him, but he enjoyed it anyway.

Away from the celebration Sky sat with a smile on his face.  Littlefoot noticed him and their eyes met.  After a minute the longneck returned the smile, and nodded his thanks.

It looked like their fight was finally over, and the group was back together once more.





The rain intensified later as night began to fall, and the combination would have been demoralizing for the recently reunited group, where they not in such good spirits.  They were tired, but well fed and on their way.  Eventually Sky (who was forced to walk) found them a nice canopy where the trees shielded them from the driving rain.  With the unexpected yet welcome shelter, the group all settled down to rest.

Sky sat on a protruding rock next to the tree trunk and ate a banana he had managed to peel off a tree on their way.  It was a strange fruit to eat and Littlefoot watched with fascination as the wingtail pulled back the skin and ate the creamy inside in chomping bites.

“Would you like some Littlefoot?” asked the blue wingtail with courtesy.

“Sure,” answered Littlefoot, and he took a bite off the end that Sky had lowered to him.

It was delicious and unique, and the longneck found it reminded him of the tree-sweets in the hidden canyon.  Luckily this fruit wasn’t being used to repel sharpteeth like those were, so he could eat as much as he wanted.

“Wow that’s really good,” commented Littlefoot as he rubbed his mouth with one of his front feet.

Sky smiled.

“I shall have to pick up some more then for the journey,” the wingtail said.

The statement made Littlefoot think of something that he had previously forgotten in the whirlwind of the days events.

“Sky… where are we going now?” he asked.

The blue wingtail put a finger to his chin, and thought about the problem.

“Hmm,” he thought out loud, “we cannot go back.  Behind us is nothing but dust and yet ahead there is nothing but ocean…a perplexing and challenging situation if I say so.”

Sky looked to the horizon through the sheet of rain.

“Perhaps our salvation lies to the west, in a place called the Lush Valley.  I have only heard of it, but if luck is on our side then maybe we will be welcome as travellers and friends.  From there we will head south towards…”
   
A moment of strange silence.

“The Feral Forest.”

Littlefoot was confused why Sky would want to go back towards the wingtail homeland, especially since back there they were hunting him.

“I have to go back someday Littlefoot,” continued Sky, “and if they call me a thief then so be it… but at least they can’t call me a coward.”

They were bold words, and Littlefoot saw reason to respect his friend for saying them.  He was reminded that he and the gang were not the only ones far from their real home.

“Hopefully when we arrive I will be able to find someone to take you all home.”

Littlefoot smiled and nodded in agreement.  For once, he had had enough adventuring.


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Cancerian Tiger

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So, Ducky and Spike have reunited with Littlefoot, Petrie, and Ali.  Littlefoot and Sky are now on friendly terms again.  This was a good chapter.  I liked how they worked together to save Littlefoot from quite a nasty fate :yes.  I hope they meet up again soon with Cera, Ruby, and Chomper.


Pangaea

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Yes! A new chapter! :DD A pretty good-length one, too, though it still ended too soon. :p Boy, just seven or eight parts left . . . it feels like there’s so little left of the story. :unsure:

Well, there you go; a good reason to have Sky around: he can identify all the dangerous plants and knows the cures to the poisonous ones. :p

I liked how you involved Ducky and Spike in this chapter, with another scene from their perspective containing a little exchange between them. (In case I haven’t suggested this already, it would be interesting if at some point you presented a narrative segment from Spike’s point of view to show how he thinks, similar to what you did with Petrie in Act III, Part V.)
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It had taken every ounce of his strength, but Spike managed not to eat the plants in his mouth.
:lol

And it’s a relief that Petrie’s wing isn’t broken after all; I was wondering whether there would be enough time for it to heal before the end of the story.

By the way, something troublesome occurred to me recently: compared to the geographical directions given in the first LBT, the FAH map is upside-down. It was explicitly stated that the dinosaurs traveled west to reach the Great Valley; on the map, however, it lies east of the Shattered Lands (the location of the fissue created by the Great Earthshake). This would mean that all of the references in the story to “north” should be “south”, all references to “west” should be “east”, and so on. :o

The good news is, there were very few spelling and grammar issues in this chapter:
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Rain came to the land for the first time since its death from the sea.
This is a rather confusing sentence. It’s even a bit misleading, since it sounds as if the land’s “death” came from the sea. I understand that you’re describing the first rain since the Black Mountain’s eruption, brought by clouds rolling in from the sea, but you might want to reword it.

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and the time Petrie’s uncle * led them on that goose chase for the stone of cold fire.
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She had never seen Littlefoot act that way before, and despite what * happened to his father a part of her couldn’t help but think he was just taking out his troubles on Sky since there was no one else around to blame.
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Hopefully, it was simply bad fortune that things * turned out otherwise…
*Insert “had”.

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“Hey Petrie,” commented Littlefoot happily, “it looks like you wing is all better.”
Should be “your”.

As much as I DO NOT look forward to the story being over, :p I’m excited as always for the next installment. :smile



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Sky

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Yay! A new chapter! :lol: I totaly enjoyed reading this with full excitement. :smile
That was quite a close call. Glad that Littlefoot made it.  :)

The only thing that bothers me is, that there are only 7 chapters including the epilouge left until this wonderful story ends.  :cry

Hehe, I'm sure you know how I felt about Sky's utopia.  :angel


Caustizer

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Thanks for the reviews everyone... you know I appreciate them.  :smile

Since I'm such a nice guy, I'll try and have the next chapter of Far Away Home ready on the 14th, which is Pangaea's birthday :celebrate.  I haven't forgotten about Sky's star-day present within the story either, but it's going to be an 'epilogue' thing.


Pangaea

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^ Why, thank you! That's so kind of you! :DD



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Caustizer

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Well it wasn't easy, and it was quite the rush but I have done it!  The next part of Far Away Home is ready, and unfortunately it is not well editted and likely to be covered in spelling and gramatical errors, so go easy on me in this area.

Without further ado, here it is. :angel

Happy Star Day Pangaea!  :celebrate


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[Chapter redacted - please see below for the full version of Act IV Part VI]


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Ahh... that was a sweet chapter to read. :)
Hehe, and I think I have a new favourite character.  :lol

Only 6 + epilouge more to read. I think I'll read this from the beginning again when there is only three chapters left.  :p


Pangaea

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Thank you again, Caustizer, this was a fantastic star day gift! :smile :DD :lol

Admittedly, the second part of the chapter did feel a little rushed (one character introduced, two characters leave or are separated from the group, and another character returns, all very suddenly and withófranklyóa somewhat minimal amount of descriptiveness), but it was still great!

Things are looking pretty bad for the wingtails, though…and for the sharpteeth not affiliated with Tyron (I’m assuming not all of them are). If any of them cross the wingtails’ (war)path by mistake, they’ll be in trouble. :unsure:

I loved Siak! She was hilarious! :lol I can’t wait to see more of her. (I wonder what favor she owes Aizon for.)

And yikes…Thud’s back. :o Wonder what he’s up to now. :confused

To start with the errors…I noticed that you alternately referred to Siak’s species as “spike mouth” and “spike-mouth”. You ought to stick with just one. Personally, though, I think you should make it a single word, like the other species names that consist of a noun or adjective plus a noun (threehorn, wingtail, Sharptooth, longneck). Most two-word names seem to consist of a noun or adjective plus an action (fast runner, shell swimmer, egg stealer).

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The three wingtails had been instructed by * royal guard to simply wait for the summons to come, so in the meantime they conversed quietly amongst themselves and discussed the reasons why they could possibly be wanted by the wingtail leaders.
*Insert “the” (unless the guard in question is not the same one who ordered them there in Part III, in which case, use “a”).

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“My guess is that we will be changing our curriculum…more to suit the vengeful mood of the rest of the adults,” insisted Thriess, a gray male wingtail that was a few inches smaller then usual.
”Usual” implies that Thriess is taller most of the time. “Average” would be a better word choice.

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“In my experience, you are likely correct,” added Syne* a yellowish-green female who had an aura of confidence about her, “the elders have rarely seen fit to tamper with our methods like this, which leads me to believe there will be more blood between our race and the sharpteeth… you can count ** it.”
*Comma.
* * Insert “on”.

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“Well* I think that whatever it is, we aren’t going to like it,” contributed the scarlet wingtail, though she was still deep in thought about the matter.
*Comma.

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The fact that Eybron had been summoned too, and was now currently inside the Elders’ Tree receiving whatever message they had for him - a punishment if she was lucky – disturbed her.
The highlighted and underlined symbol is a hyphen, while the corresponding one is a dash. They should both be dashes.

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The venomous female hopped ahead and positioned herself where all the wingtails present could she her better and bear witness to her conviction.
Should be “see”.

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“…And further more, we hereby grant Eybron the position of Archon of the Wingtails and grant him the authority to exterminate this threat by any and all means!”
Should be one word.

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Essentially, it meant that Eybron could order any wingtail to perform any deed within the laws the elders had made* which could have terrible consequences for both her and her family.
*Comma.

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The Abyssal Jungle was not known for being a friendly place, nor a forgiving one, but as the bright circle poked through the grey carpet of cloud cover and shined down on the wet leaves around the gang* Ruby remarked at just how beautiful the exotic forest was.
There’s another case of inconsistent term usage here. Throughout your story you’ve referred to the sun as the “Great Cirlce”, but here it’s the “bright circle”. Personally I prefer the latter term, but it would probably be easier for you to change it to “Great Circle” here rather than “Bright Circle” everywhere else. (I think it should be capitalized as well.)
Also, since Ruby doesn’t say anything here, I think the word you were looking for was “marveled”, not “remarked”.
*Comma.

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“What has gotten into you Ruby?” questioned the threehorn impolitely, “we left Littlefoot and the others to get away from snotty stuck up wingtails, and now here we are being followed by one while we do exactly what another*one wants.”
*Insert space.

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Ruby didn’t know what take of the situation and quickly looked back at Glide, who was struggling to get Gentry off him.
Did you mean “to make”?

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“A wingtail named Aizon sent us to find you… he said that you could show us to the jungle runners
The dash here should have no space in front of it.

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“Hmm, and odd crowed you have here,” the spike-mouth remarked, “it might be difficult bringing him in here…”
”And” should be “an” and “crowed” should be “crowd”.

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An hour after the sudden departure of Glide, Siak * led them deep into the Abyssal Jungle** just like she * said she would.
*Insert “had”.
**Comma.

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The villain growled and bared his teeth, but rather then striking he glanced backwards once, and then beckoned Chomper to follow.
Not necessarily a mistake, but “villain” isn’t a great word choice in my opinion, considering the ambiguity of Thud’s alliances and the fact that he’s not really evil. “Predator”, “sharptooth”, or “fast biter” would probably be better.

I’m VERY excited for the next chapter, even though it means we’re drawing ever closer to the end… :cry



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Caustizer

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Quote from: Pangaea,Jul 15 2010 on  11:11 PM
Admittedly, the second part of the chapter did feel a little rushed (one character introduced, two characters leave or are separated from the group, and another character returns, all very suddenly and withófranklyóa somewhat minimal amount of descriptiveness), but it was still great!
I felt that way too, but keep in mind I normally don't do an entire chapter in 6 days (or was it 5 :x) so I ran out of time to do the second part when the first part had been done on a weekend where I had plenty of time to go over and edit it.

I had wanted to include things like Siak's origins...  Glide's reasons for leaving... etc. but in order to have it posted for your birthday those elements had to be omitted.  From now on, Star day or no star day I'm taking as much time as I need to produce the desired result.   :angel

Also just as a side note, my star day is in another month  :p

Caustizer.


Pangaea

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Quote from: Caustizer,Jul 16 2010 on  12:10 AM
I felt that way too, but keep in mind I normally don't do an entire chapter in 6 days (or was it 5 :x) so I ran out of time to do the second part when the first part had been done on a weekend where I had plenty of time to go over and edit it.
Yeah, I know. I feel guilty about that. :oops

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I had wanted to include things like Siak's origins... Glide's reasons for leaving... etc. but in order to have it posted for your birthday those elements had to be omitted.
I would still really, really like to see the chapter with all of that in it. (Had I known just how much of a crunch it was for you, I would have told you I preferred a late star day present that was complete rather than an unfinished one that I received on time. Darn me, I should have told you anyway, but I didn't think of it. :bang) Can you still add them? I (and I'm sure the other readers) would definitely not mind reading it again as a more complete version.

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Also just as a side note, my star day is in another month :p
I think it's the least I can do to try to return the favor. I'll do my best to whip up something special for you by that date. ;)

P.S. Did you get my PM?



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Caustizer

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Hello,

At Pangaea's request I have 'remastered' the chapter to provide a bit more depth then was previously present.  Note that the first part is the same, but the ending portion is significantly longer and more developed.

Please accept my apologies for not releasing the full and complete chapter, and grant me the fortune of a second review. :angel

Also, a special thanks to Pangaea for offering the idea of 'Siak' whom is his OC.

Caustizer.

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Part VI: A New Friend [Remastered Version]


It was night time in the Feral Forest, and the leaves whispered with the song of dire events to come. The place had become near ghostly, as families refused to let their children out of sight and free flight was impeded by the older males who now patrolled the skies ensuring both safety and compliance with the elders’ rules. The only things that would occur now were hushed bedtime stories, the occasional snore, or the gentle rustling of the trees.

Despite the curfew, a certain group of wingtails gathered silently on a branch at the bottom of the Sonicron Hill. Star and the other two teachers had been given some time to meet prior to coming before the council of elders, as Eybron was the one they wanted to speak to first. The three wingtails had been instructed by royal guard to simply wait for the summons to come, so in the meantime they conversed quietly amongst themselves and discussed the reasons why they could possibly be wanted by the wingtail leaders.

“My guess is that we will be changing our curriculum…more to suit the vengeful mood of the rest of the adults,” insisted Thriess, a gray male wingtail that was a few inches smaller then usual.

“In my experience, you are likely correct,” added Syne a yellowish-green female who had an aura of confidence about her, “the elders have rarely seen fit to tamper with our methods like this, which leads me to believe there will be more blood between our race and the sharpteeth… you can count it.”

Star looked uncomfortable at the discussion.

“Well I think that whatever it is, we aren’t going to like it,” contributed the scarlet wingtail, though she was still deep in thought about the matter.

The fact that Eybron had been summoned too, and was now currently inside the Elders’ Tree receiving whatever message they had for him - a punishment if she was lucky – disturbed her. Whatever the white wingtail had done, there was no way his little stunt could have killed Sky. He was too smart to be dead… she just knew it. It was the main thing that kept her from grief and despair, and it gave her the will to continue to teach even amongst the chaos and death that was abound these days.

Thriess opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted when the brownish-green royal guard swooped in and landed on the branch across from them, like it was beneath him to roost with their lot.

“The elders will receive you now,” he said with an impassive expression.

A short flight later and Star and the other teachers entered the Elders’ Tree. They were positioned directly across from the four remaining elders, who had repositioned themselves according to their status within the council. There were a male and a female along the left, and Cinceel occupied the center with Theanol on the right. All of them were watching intently as the guests settled in. Normally the council would consist of six members, representing the six largest and most influential families in the forest, but thanks to Tenebron and the Old One’s deaths the positions were currently vacant.

To her left, Star noticed Eybron sitting on a branch alone. A triumphant smile adorned his face – a sign that whatever he had been summoned for it had worked out well for him. She knew that if something was working out well for the white wingtail, then everyone else wasn’t going to like it.

“Welcome teachers, to the Elders’ Tree,” introduced Theanol the green wingtail in a booming voice so that all present could hear him, “you have been called here on the basis of a change in instruction which we feel is necessary.”

Were they have been out of sight, Star was sure that the other two teachers would have rolled their eyes. It was just as expected.

“The children are to be taught how to react to sharpteeth threats,” asserted Cinceel aggressively, “…whether to flee, or if possible to take them down.”

The forwardness of the female elder made the other three uneasy, but nonetheless they continued. This didn’t prevent the feathers on the back of Star’s neck from rising though as she figured out the reason why they had been called here – the elders were going to make Eybron a teacher!

“I volunteer to perform that duty,” responded Thriess confidently, “if that is what you wish it of me.”

Thriess was the fishing teacher, and at least once a day he would take out the latest generation onto the lake to instruct them on the finer points of catching and eating fish. Of course, his class was the children’s favourite because they got to eat! Syne taught probably the most important class of all – story speaking. It was through her that all wingtail history was passed, though many times the young ones she taught didn’t fully appreciate the significance of the knowledge.

Meanwhile, Cinceel had raised a hand to her chin and was tapping it softly as if debating on what to say next.

“Alright Thriess… you will take on this class in addition to your fishing one with our blessing.”

Thriess bowed slightly at the privilege.

“Now that that business is taken care of you are all dismissed,” stated Theanol with a wave of his hand, “goodbye, and goodnight to you and your families.”

Star, Syne and Thriess were just about to leave when Cinceel interrupted.

“Hold on,” she said in annoyance, like Theanol’s dismissal had insulted her.

“I think it is time we made an important announcement.”

Theanol sighed, like he was hoping not to reveal the more unpleasant topic until a later time.

“After much deliberation,” continued Cinceel, “it is the verdict of this council that the sharptooth attack on our precious monument and our kind was an act of war… and one that is to be punished in kind…”

The venomous female hopped ahead and positioned herself where all the wingtails present could she her better and bear witness to her conviction.

“From this day forward all sharpteeth are our enemies, and are forbidden to set foot or claw inside the Feral Forest. Those who disobey our declaration and choose to remain shall be sentenced to death!”

The wingtail spat the last line, hoping for some sort of objection which she did not get.

“…And further more, we hereby grant Eybron the position of Archon of the Wingtails and grant him the authority to exterminate this threat by any and all means!”

Star gasped, as did the other two teachers next to her. Even the royal guard who was normally impartial widened his eyes in surprise. Archon was an ancient title given only to an exemplary individual in a time of great need. Essentially, it meant that Eybron could order any wingtail to perform any deed within the laws the elders had made which could have terrible consequences for both her and her family. The last one to hold the position was Benzon, who had used it to gather all the males in the forest to unblock a dam that had nearly caused the Abyss Lake to dry up.

“Now you are all dismissed,” declared Cinceel with a dirty glance in Theanol’s direction.

To his credit, the green wingtail ignored it.

As Star left with the others in a depressed state, she took a single glance back and saw that Eybron was looking right at her. The white wingtail was beaming, his face revealing exactly what her future held in store. For the first time in a while, Star wished Glide was here to protect her.


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The Abyssal Jungle was not known for being a friendly place, nor a forgiving one, but as the bright circle poked through the grey carpet of cloud cover and shined down on the wet leaves around the gang Ruby remarked at just how beautiful the exotic forest was. The huge canopy trees provided enough shelter that they could continue on their way without being too disturbed. The floor was adorned with foliage of many strange and wonderful types the fastrunner had never seen before, and she found their scent thrilling.

Ruby, Chomper, Gentry, Cera, and Thylo followed the river just like the friendly wingtail had told them to, and had been marching along for nearly all of the morning. Unfortunately, Aizon had failed to be specific about what Siak looked like so it felt like they were on a hunt similar to finding the hidden runner. Glide circled above like a sentinel, lending his eyes, ears, and wings to their search.

“So you’re telling me that we are looking for someone you don’t know, have never seen before, for a reason you don’t know, all because some strange wingtail told you to?” butted in Cera as she forced her way to the head of the line where Ruby was.

The fastrunner thought about it a bit absent mindedly.

“Yeah,” replied Ruby with a friendly shrug, “what you said just about says it all.”

“Hrmm,” grumbled Cera with displeasure.

Having an eye to take out her anger on somebody, the threehorn tilted her head and glared at Glide who was sitting on a branch above. The black wingtail returned the favour, and for about ten seconds the staring contest carried on. Sticking out her tongue rudely, Cera broke away and carried on.

“My feet hurt,” complained Thylo as she looked at the ground and examined the bottoms of all her paws in stride.

“Well ya got four of them,” pointed out Gentry, “why not try running a leg short for a tick?”

Thylo was confused, and looked back at the egg-stealer quizzically.

“Try it like this shera mate,” Gentry said as he hopped twice on only one leg.

The green spiketail tried it too, but only succeeded in falling over… much to the egg-stealer’s amusement.

“Hey that looks fun,” added Chomper, “mind if I try?”

While Thylo, Gentry and Chomper had fun walking on one less foot then usual, Cera chose to again push the subject of the purpose of the journey with Ruby.

“What has gotten into you Ruby?” questioned the threehorn impolitely, “we left Littlefoot and the others to get away from snotty stuck up wingtails, and now here we are being followed by one while we do exactly what another one wants.”

Cera stamped her foot in rage.

“Can’t you see that they all hate us?”

“That’s not true,” countered Ruby with a bit of uncertainty, “… well maybe some of it is true, but what the truth really is is that it’s all different now. They need our help, so it’s up to us to help them!”

“Ha–,” began Cera, but her reply was cut short.

Glide landed directly in front of them with a Thudd, and held one of his fingers to his mouth in a silencing gesture. It was enough to cause not only Ruby and Cera to stop their conversation, but also to quiet down the others as well. With their attention assured, the black wingtail swept his arm in a broad motion, and pointed into the bushes ahead. Something or someone was in there.

Without a word, Ruby slipped past him and pushed her way into the bushes in the direction Glide had pointed. After a moment the underbrush cleared and the runner could clearly see what lacked like another runner standing up to its knees in the river. It was difficult to really tell however what it was, and Ruby squinted to try and get a better look. If it actually was a fastrunner, the colouring was a bit off… usually they weren’t a bronze hue with bright scarlet markings.

Approaching carefully, with the others creeping up silently behind in the ferns, Ruby tip toed up until she was right off the shore of the mysterious creature, nearly within striking distance.

“Hi,” introduced Ruby with courtesy, “we are lost and I was hoping you could help us find someone we are looking for.”

The runner took a methodical step forward, but did not take its head out of the water.

“Umm,” began Ruby again with uncertainty, “Hi... we are looking for someone named ëSiak’, can you help us?”

The stranger suddenly raised her head from the shallows and slowly turned to face Ruby. The most striking part of her appearance was not the thin pointed structure of her nose, or the teeth jutting out from the front of her mouth like daggers, but the veil of wet seaweed that now covered her face, obscuring her vision.

“Yes I believe I can,” she said as the sides of her mouth curled into a smile, “she is me.”

Ruby, Cera, and indeed even the rest of the gang had no idea what to think of Siak, and most of them just sat there with their mouths open. Ruby still had her hand up, like it was a class and she was asking a question.

“Hmm,” said Siak as she swung her head from side to side, “it would be nice if I could see you all… you’d almost think the night circle does this on purpose.”

“A… sharptooth?” said Chomper in both wonder and confusion.

“SHARPTOOTH!” shouted Gentry, and he jumped away so fast that only a cloud of dust remained where he had been.

Instinctively Chomper hid, and Cera followed suit with impressive speed. Soon the only ones around were Glide in a branch above, Ruby and Thylo. The spiketail simply looked on with wide eyes, like it was her dream come true.

“Oh that’s it… run away, just like the others,” said Siak with indignity as she crossed her arms.

“Umm, I’m still here,” pointed out Ruby making her look less silly for keeping her hand up so long.

“Are you?” asked Siak as she shook her head around again and sniffed the air, “what… where are you girl?”

Without thinking, Ruby reached out and slid the piece of water greens off Siak’s face. It slipped off easily, and immediately the spike mouth blinked rapidly and covered her eyes.

“By all that swims how did the bright circle suddenly get so bright?”

Regaining her vision, Siak looked around and saw the runner in front of her holding in her arms a clove of green food, and turned away, holding her arm out to block it like it was being presented to her.

“No thanks, I don’t eat that sort of thing.”

Ruby didn’t know what take of the situation and quickly looked back at Glide, who was struggling to get Gentry off him. The egg-stealer had latched onto him in fright, and the black wingtail was having a hard time getting him off. Cera and Chomper had risen slowly from the bushes in which they had been hiding, and Thylo was still staring like she had met her new idol. Seeing the situation was her responsibility, Ruby sighed.

“This was on your snout, it was blocking your eyes,” the runner stated.

“Oh…” replied Siak in surprise, “well, thank you girl for taking care of that. Ha, I must have looked awfully silly with that on.”

Ruby beamed, and nodded her head.

“A wingtail named Aizon sent us to find you… he said that you could show us to the jungle runners –”

“Bah,” interrupted Siak suddenly, “such rotten, annoying little birds. Do you know what one of them dropped on me the other day?”

Cera and Chomper looked at each other in confusion.

“I don’t know… what?” asked Cera with a roll of her eyes, like it was some sort of test.

Siak wagged one of her fingers.

“You don’t wanna know…”

In the tree above, Glide snorted in displeasure at the remark.

“Well… can you help us?” pressed Ruby, as if she was annoyed that the conversation wasn’t moving fast enough.

In response Siak laughed good-heartedly.

“Of course I can… I owe Aizon a favour, so if he sent you then we can call it even!”

The spike mouth stepped out of the water and shook herself off.

“Hmm, and odd crowed you have here,” the spike-mouth remarked, “it might be difficult bringing him in here…”

She was talking of course about Glide, and the black wingtail glared at her for a moment in indignity before nodding in response.

“Then perhaps it is time I left.”

He spread his wings, and turned away from the scene. Briefly measuring the wind, Glide made ready to jump into the air and take wing.

“Wait!” called out Ruby.

Intrigued, the black wingtail looked back.

“What?”

The fastrunner dashed over to him, and in a single moment wrapped her arms around his body. Glide was so surprised that he stood there, stunned that anyone would do such a thing.

“Thank you,” Ruby whispered sincerely, “…for everything you’ve done for us.”

Glide really didn’t know what to do, and peered over to the others for a potential clue as to how to respond to such outward affection. The children didn’t offer much help, while Siak crossed her arms and dawned a smug, knowing look. It sickened the wingtail to be in a situation so embarrassing.

“Umm… uhhh…”

With much effort, he pulled his mouth into a light smile and returned the gesture similar to how his sister had done many weeks ago.

“…you’re welcome.”

Siak clapped her hands twice in recognition for the difficult deed that shouldn’t have been difficult at all, which only served to annoy Glide even further.

In truth, the black wingtail had actually become quite fond of this group of hatchlings... for lack of a better description.  He hadn't ever had any real friends before because of how consumed he was by both caring for Star and training for the Fish Fights that happened once a year, and he found that now that there were others that looked up to him he felt more whole inside.  It had occured to him when Aizon mentioned going to the jungle-runners that perhaps he would not be welcome there, but it took the spike-mouth to bring him to his senses.  If Glide was to follow them and obey his sister's instructions - as well as making sure they were safe - then it would certainly need to be done in secret.

After a moment the embrace was over, and the black wingtail had once again taken to the sky. As Ruby watched, she couldn’t help but think they wouldn’t see him again for a long, long time. As it would turn out, she was wrong.






An hour after the sudden departure of Glide, Siak led them deep into the Abyssal Jungle just like she said she would.  The trees whistled with the strange and wonderful sounds of the local wildlife coming out of hiding as the rain subsided.  The spike-mouth led the way into the endless green and sometimes got far enough ahead that Cera, Chomper and the others could barely keep up.  Only Ruby managed to keep pace, and through the march engaged in conversation with their new friend.

"You're a sharptooth right," began Ruby, "... so how come you're so nice?"

"Oh I'm not that nice at all," laughed Siak, "...if you happen to be a water swimmer."

The statement held a lot of truth, thought Ruby, and she in turn realized that the only reason Sharpteeth came after them was not out of hatred, or vengence, or perhaps a racial feud but simply because they were hungry and didn't have a choice.  Her next thought was of Chomper, and the inevitable future he faced.  The fast-runner looked back in worry as she saw the small sharptooth shifting through the branches behind.  She knew that someday, sooner or later, he wouldn't be able to satisfy his hunger with swimmers or flying buzzers anymore... and will turn on them as the most ancient of all processes takes its toll.

"If I may ask, what would a plains runner like yourself want with your more forest bound cousins?  A reunion perhaps... or maybe a message of utmost importance to the safety and future of all dinosaur kind!"

"Something like that," admitted Ruby.

"Really?" replied Siak in disbelief as she started tapping the side of her face with her claws, "hah, I must be a better guesser then I thought!"

Ruby thought about how best to word what she was to do, and eventually came up with a good summary.

"Aizon wants me to convince the jungle-runners to join with the wingtails to stop the king of the sharpteeth."

Siak stopped walking entirely.  The halt was so fast that Ruby almost bumped into her.

"That's got to be the silliest thing I have ever heard," chuckled Siak, "And mind you I have heard a lot of silly things!"

"It's true," retorted Ruby, "if we don't join with the wingtails, we will never have a chance to stop all the bad things he's doing."

The spike-mouth turned around to face the fast-runner and slowly looked from side to side, checking to see if anyone else was around and listening.

"Shut your mouth girl," snarled Siak, gripping Ruby by the shoulders, "there are more eyes and ears around here then just ours."

"Wha-what do you mean?" asked Ruby shakily.

"What I mean is keep your wits about you," Siak hissed, releasing Ruby, "Tyron's claw reaches far longer then you can imagine... so don't go blabbing off so everyone can hear you."

Quickly understanding the need for such measures, the runner nodded her head in acknowledgement.

"Mais did not listen, and look what happened to him!  I will certainly not stand to have anything the same happen to you children, even if it means the death of me."

"Who was Mais?" asked Ruby naively.

Siak turned away, as if to hide the expression on her face.

"My mate," she said, unable to hide a bit of a titter in her voice, "...but we will not talk about him here."

The conversation ended there, and in the meantime things were providing different near the rear end of the line.  The forest was getting thicker, and it was getting difficult for Chomper to keep up. At last he could not keep up the pace any longer, and stopped to rest. The others including Cera, Thylo and Gentry carried on, and soon they were out of his sight.

“Not to worry,” breathed the small sharptooth to himself reassuringly, “I can use my sniffer to follow them.”

But as it would turn out, his sniffer was picking up more then just his friends. A familiar scent hit Chomper’s nostrils, and he sucked in air vigorously for a moment to make sure it was indeed what he had smelt. Turning around, he gasped as he came face to face with the fastbiter, Thudd.

Backing up a few steps, he knew this time he was done for. He and Thudd were even, and now the fastbiter was perfectly within his honour to eat him on the spot. The raptor growled and bared his teeth, but rather then striking he glanced backwards once, and then beckoned Chomper to follow. Without question, the sharptooth obeyed and silently tracked along behind his once bitter enemy. What could Thudd possibly want?

"Thudd... where we going... why are you not eating me like you said you would?"

"Because," snarled Thudd as he reared around to glare at the small sharptooth, "there is something I need to show you."

"So does this mean we're friends?" asked Chomper with an eager grin on his face.

Thudd snorted jerked his head, as he if he was being pestered by a particularly bothersome fly.

"Have it your way."

Chomper felt a warm and fuzzy feeling inside as he followed the fast-biter deeper and deeper into the forest.  Thudd was indeed his friend, after all this time of trying to convince him.  Maybe then if Thudd could come around... maybe there was hope for the other sharpteeth too!

Up above in the gaps between the trees, the bright circle was visible once more as the rain finally pettered out and came to a halt.  Soon... it would be starting again, for a storm was brewing in the far distance...


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Pangaea

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Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Caustizer for posting this! :DD I’m sorry I gave you so much trouble about it.

I like the additions you made. It’s nice to see that Glide has warmed up to the gang, and, of course, I loved seeing Ruby get to know Siak more. :smile

So Siak had a mate once…and implicitly he’s dead. That’s sad. :cry How do you pronounce his name, by the way? Like “mace”, or “maze”, or “mize”, or something else?

If the others are going to refer to Siak by her species name (assuming “spike-mouth” IS her actual species and not just a descriptive title based on how the gang perceives her) at any point, you should have either Siak or someone who knows her use that name in front of them.

I’m still interested in hearing what the rest of the group thinks of Siak, but I can wait for the next chapter. :angel

In addition to the writing errors I pointed out in my first review, these are some I noticed while reading the remastered chapter, (a couple of which I think I missed the first time around :blink:):

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Glide landed directly in front of them with a Thudd, and held one of his fingers to his mouth in a silencing gesture.
Should be “thud”.

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After a moment the underbrush cleared and the runner could clearly see what lacked like another runner standing up to its knees in the river.
Should be “looked”.

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He hadn't ever had any real friends before because of how consumed he was by both caring for Star and training for the Fish Fights that happened once a year, and he found that now that there were others that looked up to him he felt more whole inside. It had occured to him when Aizon mentioned going to the jungle-runners that perhaps he would not be welcome there, but it took the spike-mouth to bring him to his senses.
“Occured” should be “occurred”, with two “r”’s, and “Took” should be “had taken”. It’s also possible that “was” should be “had been”, but I’m not completely certain. :unsure:

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"You're a sharptooth* right," began Ruby, "... so how come you're so nice?"
The comma at the end of the first part of Ruby’s line should be a question mark.
*Comma.

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"Shut your mouth* girl," snarled Siak, gripping Ruby by the shoulders, "there are more eyes and ears around here then just ours."
Should be “than”.
*Comma.

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Thudd snorted * jerked his head, as he if he was being pestered by a particularly bothersome fly.
”Was” should be “were”.
*Insert “and”.



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Pangaea

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By the way, in case anyone’s interested, I made a picture of Siak as both a visual reference for Caustizer as he was writing the story, and to provide readers with an idea of what she looks like. It can be seen here (If you want to add it to the series of pictures at the beginning of the thread, Caustizer, that’s fine with me :)).

Siak is a Masiakasaurus (pronounced, according to one of my sources, “mah-SHEEK-uh-SORE-us”), a small carnivorous dinosaur from the Late Cretaceous of Madagascar that is believed to have caught fish with its unique, forward-projecting teeth.

Her name is pronounced “SEE-ak”.

As with pretty much anything I draw, I’m not completely happy with the picture; I wish I’d been able to make the face (particularly the eyes) more expressive, for one thing. Also, this was done way back at the end of December, long before Caustizer had developed the character. Back then I expected Siak to be more of a jumpy, timid, even cowardly character, so I tried to make her expression and stance reflect nervousness and caution. I didn’t anticipate she’d end up as the quirky, mildly sarcastic individual she is in this story.



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Sky

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Always happy to read something new. :^.^:
It was nice to read more about Siak and the Chomper and Thudd scene. :yes

^Pangaea
Nice picture by the way. Though, I imagined her totaly different. ^^;


Pangaea

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^ Thanks. :) Coming from you, that's a huge compliment. :wow

What DID you envision Siak as looking like?



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Sky

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^Hmm...I envisioned her like a normal fastbiter, just a little younger than in your picture.
Though, I got confused about the term 'spike-mouth' since I never heard of a Masiakasaurus.  :unsure:  At least now I know.  :lol:


Pangaea

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Ah. Admittedly, Caustizer, I do think you could have done just a teensy bit more to emphasize the uniqueness of Siak's appearance (particularly her teeth), and the fact that she was a type of dinosaur the gang had never seen before. But, I'm not going to pressure you to change the chapter again. :angel



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Caustizer

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A bit of news.  Now that I am back from vacation I have begun working on Far Away Home again, though I can't say the next part is going to be ready anytime soon. Now that we are getting close to the end it is becoming necessary to enlarge the chapters so everything fits meaning an increase in quality but also an increase in posting time.

Lately, I've been thinking about doing a set of short stories in between the ending of Far Away Home and the start of Into Black Sun to develop the universe a bit more apart from the main plot line.

Caustizer


Pangaea

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I like that idea. :yes I always love to see more writing from you. :smile You won't start those stories until after you finish Far Away Home, right?

One question, though: How are you going to reference the titular “Black Sun” within the story if the dinosaurs use the term “Bright/Great Circle” to refer to the sun?



Pronounced "pan-JEE-uh". Spelled with three A's. Represented by a Lystrosaurus.